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Chapter 1: What are the key highlights of this episode?
Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Mantic Mark states the gents are now the news and asks for their reports. Weensy Wade gets his points purloined, gets mucky about Medusa, describes hard blows, and misplaces France. Blooded Bob is saddened by his board, goes into cataloguing porn, and advises a VPN to indulge. From sucking chickens to rat reefers, Yes!
It's time for more broken news. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Good 12.01 a.m. to all of you loyalists of listeners and viewers out there who waited until this episode releases, which for some reason releases at midnight. That's not our choice. That is a... Oh, that was an interesting bleep you just said. Yeah, you're probably right. You're probably right.
Anyway, we're starting off the episode with censorship, and oh boy, are we going to keep that up.
So welcome to Distractable. If you were up late and you didn't know what you were doing with your life and you just happened to stumble upon this as opposed to a deep rabbit hole of other types of videos that you could probably go down, because we're back on YouTube as well. Welcome to Distractable. This is our show where we take turns hosting to give these guys an entertaining adventure.
Wait, give them torture. Give you an entertaining adventure. I'm your host, my name is Markiplier, very famous Five Nights at Freddy's YouTuber. Not an- Hey, me either, dude. I think I gotta bleep that out too. Just a big, long... Anyway, yeah. You want to tell us how your movie ends real quick? We can bleep that out. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Don't you aim your scoped dagger at me.
I wish I could, you know, Scary Movie 3, and a shotgun shell just pops out there. Oh, man.
inventors out there make it happen are you hunters inventors oh i thought you said hunters you sure you didn't say hunters i guess hunter inventors i heard hunters pretty sure i said inventors out there roll it back inventors out there all right i'm really rationing out this paper i feel like i'm in a fever dream right now why what's wrong I don't know.
You guys were just having two separate conversations with yourselves. And I was just in the middle, like unsure which one to engage with, but like neither of them was directed at me. So I wasn't, I wasn't really supposed to engage with either. My brain was just like, Do we not listen? Is this rude? Are we eavesdropping? I'm going to give you a politeness point because that was great.
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Chapter 2: What is the significance of censorship in today's media?
After trying one of the hard candies, I can tell you I've been intentionally trying to get COVID ever since. I never want to taste again. Back to you.
This might be my last episode. Oh, geez. All right, you heard it here first. That's the hard-hitting reporting from Bob. Man, Bob, this might be your best performance yet.
I am killing it out here. Oh, man. It seems real. It seems real, unfortunately. It really does. Someone said, isn't that just bouillon, which is a good point, because you could suck on a bouillon cube. No, but bouillon is like gross and melty. Like it turns into like gritty.
If it's not in enough liquid to dissolve properly, I haven't actually done this, but I assume from the texture, it dissolves quickly. It's not like hard candy texture. You have a Jolly Rancher or something. It doesn't go away, right? When you take a bite of soup, you're like, taste it, goes away. And maybe you have a soup aftertaste.
This is like you have a mouthful of soup you can't swallow, right? And it's not warm or refreshing like soup. No, it's like tepid soup. Do you think it's like Starburst or something where they're going to have like, oh, I've got chicken noodle soup. Gushers. I've got broccoli cheddar. I've got mystery flavor. It's got a little soup in the middle and it explodes when you chew it. Oh, God.
The liquid middle.
Oh, God. God. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Progresso pop? One. Four.
Watch them actually be the most delicious thing of all time. And we're all wrong. I cannot imagine how this tastes. I have no concept of this is actually good or something. I will say I'm looking, I've been reading, scanning over articles by like people like food network articles and people who taste test things. And that's their job. And none of the articles has anywhere in it.
And I ate it and it tasted really good. All the articles are just like, Progresso says it tastes just like soup. Perfect. And that's it. So I don't know if that means they couldn't get them or that they tried it and they were like, oof, let's leave the review out of it. We don't want to make Progresso angry at us.
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