Daddy Gang! I present to you the first episode of EXTRA DIRTY, a new Unwell podcast hosted by Hallie Batchelder, and you're in for a wild ride. Hallie kicks off this weekly spill sesh strong: how being a chubby kid made her funny, becoming a muse for a Canadian's wild fantasy, the (very honest) scoop on her cosmetic work, why she got her real estate license, and the secrets of her parents' rock-star romance. Of course, she could not do it alone: so listen in to hear what special guests stop by. Hint: one of them just rolled out of her bed from the night before... So whether you're here to laugh, gasp, or join the sh*t talking, pour up a drink and dive into the debauchery. Muah muah!Be sure to follow @extradirty on socials & follow Extra Dirty wherever you get your podcasts to listen in each week. Cheers bitches!
Chapter 1: What is Extra Dirty all about?
Daddy gang. What's up, fuckers? It is your father. I am here to feed you. You guys are always asking for more content. And so I present to you another podcast, episode one of Extra Dirty. You guys just listened to Halle Batchelder on Call Her Daddy, and now she's officially launching her own podcast. I am so excited for you guys to go on this journey with Hallie. I am obsessed with her.
She has the craziest stories. She lives in New York City. And I just know it is about to be a wild ride. So enjoy, sit back, relax, and maybe have a cocktail for this one. Listen to the first episode of Extra Dirty. Enjoy.
Chapter 2: Why does Hallie think perfection takes time?
Hi, my little fucking freaks. We're having a little talk. Okay, guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Welcome to my podcast. Welcome to extra dirty. I'm so fucking excited to be here with you guys. I know it's taken a minute.
I know it's taken a long minute, but guys, perfection takes time. I was going to come out with something that's like fucking shitty and like I would have to redo and like it was kind of ass like whatever. I wanted this to be perfect for you guys. Like I was just being a woman of the people at this point, okay? This podcast is gonna be so graphic, so horrendous, so dirty, so slutty.
You're gonna look at me so differently. Please keep your AirPods on when you're listening to this podcast. I will say, do not listen to it at church. Do not listen to it at a classroom. Do not listen to it in front of your parents unless your dad is single, please. For the love of God. Strap in. We're going to have a fucking fun time. I'm so happy to be here. It's going to be epic.
I like might get canceled. OK, but if I do get canceled, guys, I want to be canceled for like a really hot, controversial athlete or maybe some like hedge fund guy that's gone arrested. I don't know, like something interesting, but like not too deep. We'll get into that later. But anyways, welcome to Extra Dirty. This podcast will not only be Extra Dirty and
But probably most of the time I'll be still like living on the fumes of my night before as I have consumed like a hundred extra dirty martinis. Like they'll still be in my system as I sit here and talk to you guys. If you guys don't know me, you know, I kind of just like fell into social media. I started posting on TikTok like a year, a year and a half ago.
And honestly, I was just making that platform more of like my private story. Honestly, I was like, no one's like being honest on this fucking platform. Like no one's like telling the truth or like... Showing any flaw at all. Everything's just like a perfect little like clean girl aesthetic image of what their life is. And that is just not what life's about. Life is fucking rough.
Anyways, all that shit was very short formatted content. And I was like, I feel like I could yap for hours about like what's going on in my mind. So here we are. Another fake blonde with a
podcast I apologize but like here we are like I'm not that mad I feel like on TikTok I'm so like ambiguous like what's going on with my like love life I'm very good about like you know dropping little hints there and here like I definitely sleep around and I make that known but I'm never like name dropping I'm not like a fucking weird freak so the thing is like with what I do and like me just talking and doing like debriefs online like I have a lot of men being like I want to stay as far away from this bitch as humanly possible because
because at fear I might talk about them online. I will. But like, I'm only gonna talk about you if you give me something like to talk about. Usually like these men, they like piss me off and they think they can do whatever. Hi, sorry, I'm here to talk about it. Why not? So what is going on in my love life right now? My most recent conquest. I call them conquests because what else are they?
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Chapter 3: What shocking story does Hallie share about a recent conquest?
And she's like, oh my God, caught off guard and accidentally pulls the trigger and blows her head off through her body out of her head. I was like, aww. He likes me. Oh my God. I was like, what the actual fuck? It was the weirdest thing ever. But honestly, me being the person I'm demented to in the head, I was like, this might be a match made in heaven. Anyways, he invites me.
Let's call it Canada. He invites me to Canada.
beautiful old Canada I go okay let me just grab my bar let's go and I stay out there for like a week or so and we eventually like the first night we didn't hook up but he brought me to this weird ass three-hour cinematic movie masterpiece and then just drops me off my hotel and I was like I did not fly and take a kayak and a train and a bus and roller skates to get here for you to not fuck me
So now I was pissed and I was like, what is this? I feel like I was getting punked. I was waiting for production to pop out with their little cameras and be like, what the flying fuck? But no, the next day he was like, I have to build rapport with someone before I engage in sexual activity. And I was like, okay, like we get it. Like take your pants off.
I don't, it was getting frustrating just because I was like, I didn't spend all this money and fly all this way for the hotel. I didn't spend all this money to fly all this way for us to not be doing cartwheels in your bedroom. So anyways, the second night and all the nights from there on, we ended up hooking up and it was fucking crazy.
Like he had studio grade bondage equipment in his drawers that looked like they had tags on them. Like, I don't know if he went to Home Depot and purchased all this for me. Like, oh my God, I was so flattered. But holy hell, this man had put me in a hog tie. Do you know what a hog tie is? Production? Yeah. You know what it is? It's like... Hold on.
You had me like... So it's like this, and it was like... So he had me in a hog tie like this and I couldn't move. And then he had this extension bar. Like, you know how you put like shades up or whatever. It's like a pole they put in between your legs. I don't know what this angle looks like, by the way.
So you put this pole between your legs and if you move your legs a little more out, you can't go back in. So I dislocated my hip. I literally think I tore my ACL, but it was the craziest. I honestly, I would do it again. Honestly, Mr. Old Spice, you can call me anytime. you'll always have a seat at my table. But anyways, that ended tragically for a plethora of reasons for me long distance.
There's just like, I feel like a physical aspect of relationship is so important. Yes. The emotional connections also fine, but also I just don't think I have enough emotional maturity. I'm very self-aware, but like I'm very toxic and I guess like I have very low emotional IQ. So I just think
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Chapter 4: How did Hallie's childhood shape her sense of humor?
There is actually currently right now as we speak a man in my bed. I didn't want to like tell you that, but like don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. But I feel like we went so hard last night. I feel like he could use a little bit of the hair of the dog right now. So let's get him up. I feel like Cookie, come here. Love her.
Surprise. fucking dominoes or the vodka here get your fucking mic
Okay, hi guys. This is Graydon Cookie Cutler. Okay guys, I feel like most of you know who Graydon is, but if you don't, he's like my best, most funniest friend. We sleep together all the time. He's so good in bed.
This is true. We do sleep together a lot.
No, yeah. And you turn on your sound machine. It's always like super magical.
You love the sound machine.
No, I actually do, but I do have my AirPods in watching Real Housewives.
Oh, okay. Well, this morning I woke up, Hallie woke me up and she said I took up the whole- It was 11, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you, but it was 11.45.
Okay.
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Chapter 5: What led Hallie to get her real estate license?
Chapter 6: What are the dynamics of Hallie’s parents' relationship?
So?
He looked like Mr. Clean. So he shows up to the state with a suitcase of 10 grand in cash and gave it to me.
Did you keep it?
Yeah.
What'd you have to do?
Then I told him I had a UTI and I couldn't hang out with him for the rest of the weekend. So you left. That made me sound like kind of an escort. Yeah. It wasn't like that. I didn't even kiss him. Honestly, I feel like he got bamboozled that night.
Anyway, I hope he's well, but I looked over my shoulder and his pants were down to his ankles and his whole entire asshole was out.
No, he's cheek spread.
Cheek spread, blackout drunk. And I was like, is somebody going to put this guy's pants on? I can't be looking at this.
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Chapter 7: How did Hallie and Graydon meet?
my boyfriend now at the time like didn't want anything to do with me and yeah yeah and like in order to like show me how he didn't want to have anything to do with me he was like i'm just gonna like flirt in front of her i'm gonna like add her best friend on snapchat and like would like put his phone down so i could see everything this was when he was like mean and then the second didn't have a fuck boy phase right is he toxic
no he's like perfect but like for those like he's an angel but like he wasn't an angel until the second that he asked me to be his girlfriend up until then i was a doormat
And, like, the Holland Tunnel. Did you like being doormat? And I was thick.
And you were thick.
And I was thick. You were so thick.
Lauren used to, like, show up at, like, my house on Nantucket and, like, be wearing, like, AF1s and, like, Jordans. Yeah.
I wore, like, Jordans with, like, Nike mid-calves to the beach.
No.
Yeah. Dior Jordans. No, that was fake Dior Jordans.
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