Hallie Batchelder
Appearances
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Hallie, can we talk about your dad?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Are you still using your dad's credit card to this day?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I mean, yeah. I mean, it's actually a sensitive topic today. I got a text this morning being like, in the group chat, my dad goes, I just canceled the JetBlue card. Good luck. Love you. To my family group chat, I go, wait, what the absolute fuck? He goes, I don't use it anymore. I'm like, but I do. What do you mean? What is the JetBlue card? Like his card, we all have an Apple Pay.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
But it's like Monopoly. It's like, bang, bang. It's like, oh, bang. We're at dinner. Bang. You know, I could fly around the world 17 times. So you got cut up on the JetBlue. No, yeah, we're done. The black card, we're so back. The black card hates to see me coming.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
It's nice that it's not a sugar daddy. Like, this is your actual dad.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Yeah, it's the sugar daddy minus the sugar. Do you think he'll ever cut you off? No, because he really wants us to be safe. He's big on safety. The reason why he would never disclose his credit card number for the black card, he does not let us do subway transportation or UberX. I'm not kidding. He doesn't feel safe with that. He also doesn't feel safe with us having a bad haircut. Or bad hair.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I literally can't handle you. Okay, so it's all about safety. Yeah. A new bag, safety.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Yeah. New hair, safety. But also like... But also like nice interior design. Makes me feel safety. CB2, safety. William Sonoma, safety.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
so let me get this right do you have a like uh you can't spend more than this in a month or no i'm not disrespectful okay i don't abuse it it's not like i'm going to bergdorf and like popping my absolute pussy at bergdorf while he's not there yeah but when i'm there we're popping our fucking pussy at bergdorf if you ever go too hard what is like a reprimand from your father look it's an email
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
it's an email where it says purchase activity not detected or like purchase activity i wasn't there and he sends a question mark and we just usually don't reply stop i'm like trash spam i'm like who is this um okay let's talk about your dating life
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Okay, let's talk about your dating life.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Do you have an age limit? Diapers. Is that bad to say? What's funny is I was thinking like 85, 65. Yeah, diapers.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Oh, you're talking about old man. Yeah, an old man with diapers, hospice, diapers. Wait, what? You thought I was talking about younger? That's the problem. We have to talk about that after.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Okay, that was weird for me. Can you tell me what is the oldest you've gone on a date with? Date? Or fucked?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
You may be wondering why we're dressed like this, Daddy Gang. I don't know.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I don't know. The oldest guy I've slept with? I don't date a lot.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Just fuck. But the oldest guy I've slept with is probably 52.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
How was that? Good. For him. I sucked him sideways in fruition. He saw the sunset. was he single? I think.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Have you ever had sex with a man and then realized he was married afterwards? Yes. How do you handle that?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I mean, what, that's not my problem. If you are hooking up with me and like you're in a relationship and you don't disclose it, I don't see how that's like my issue.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
It's not your issue. Um, what is the most expensive thing a man has ever bought you aside from your father?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
That's a good question. Actually. Um, I mean, these guys, this man thought he bought my tits.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
This is actually a really good story.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
So this is the guy I was seeing at the time. He was in London. I remember FaceTiming him. He was horrible to me. Like he'd be like, I'm getting with this influencer and that influencer. I'm like, OK, but I'm like, I'm so cool with that, whatever. And I would be like, I think I want like new tits. And he was like, I think I agree with that. Like he was horrible to me.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And then he goes, he's like, it's 6 a.m. in London. I'm so fucked up. I've stayed up all night. Like, I'm going to Venmo you 10 grand for your tits. So him and his best friend Venmo me for each tit. So they each think they own one tit. But then. Wait, they Venmo'd you? Yeah, they Venmo'd me on the spot. Him and his friend? Yeah.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
But then my mom was like, wait, if you really want me to pay for the surgery. Just get your real estate license and I'll pay for it. So like MacGyver on the fucking keyboards. I studied so hard. I got my real estate license and like within like a week and a half, I swear to God. And these fucking dumb ass billionaires, I pocketed their money so quick. See you fucking later.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Imagine if we knew each other when I was in New York. No, you would be dead.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
You had 10K for your tits from them.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And my parents just paid for them.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I never sold a house ever either.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
i fucking love that for you no have you ever signed an nda yeah oh haven't you like what tuesday for like a um i know you can't talk about it but not for like business i've never signed an nda i don't know shakes said yes yeah i mean i've signed a couple but like for like guys i don't even think deserve them
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I wouldn't have my career. Yeah. I bet your funeral and you wouldn't have your career or your husband. I would definitely not have my husband. We also imagine if we knew each other when we lived in Boston. No, I wouldn't have been a bottle girl. I would have just become friends with your dad. Imagine if I had fucked your dad. That's not funny.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
like youtube guys i'm like be so fucking for real right now you sign on day for me babe no have you fucked someone that does youtube multiple i shut my own channel no we but you've never fucked david dobrik have you i'm taking out my sunglasses for this You. OK. Are you fucking kidding me? My eyes are like, where am I?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Wait, my eyes are like, where am I?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Well, yeah, where am I? OK. You thought I fucked David Dobrik? No, no. I'm out of here. Can we keep that in?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
What is the weirdest thing that someone has asked you to do in bed?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
You know, what is the weirdest thing? Probably the weirdest thing, guys, anything ass related. This one guy got on all fours and he was arching his back and I was eating his ass out. Hmm. I didn't love that for me. You love that for him. Also, there was this one guy that had the extension bar. I told you about this.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
No, this fucked me up. Talk about it. Go.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
No, I'm not. This is hog tie was fucking light work. The hog tie was not even the part I... this part of the story I didn't even explain. This guy had an extension bar and he had shit like, I hope you can see this right now. He had like the clanks here and the clanks on each ankle. And there was a bar in between my legs. And if you move your legs like another inch, you can't go back in.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
So if you move your legs another inch, you can't go back in. So I was in like the splits for like three and a half hours. And I swear to God, I was on a flight back from LA. Like
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
cross-eyed dislocated let me just say this Hallie and I are sitting next to each other in LA having a cocktail besties we're whispering sweet nothings to each other like I love you I'm asking her just about her escapades and she starts talking about this machine essentially that she it was giving Home Depot PR Hall It's like a curtain rod between her fucking legs, but there's a spring.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And when you said that, so are you, is this happening when you're getting fucked from behind? No.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
No. So, like, I was on my back in the hog tie. That's what made it crazier was the hog tie was in front. And I felt like a chandelier at one point. Yeah. He put the bar over his neck at one point and then flipped me over. You can't move your legs. I thought I pulled a hamstring, Alex. I thought I needed PT after this. Wait, what?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I had recently watched the Jake Gyllenhaal show. Oh, you thought I was about to say I got a video of it. I was like, I wouldn't be shocked. No, I, while she was explaining this to me, had watched the Jake Gyllenhaal show. If any of you had watched it, it's like presumed innocence. And the girl is murdered and she's wrapped up in a hog tie.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
So aside from a hog tie, what is like a weird thing, like a weird thing that would make like Hallie Batchelder be like, that definitely was on the Richter scale of like weird that a man has done to me.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I mean, nothing makes me blush, but this one thing made me fear for many lives. I'm not going to lie. Like this man was love bombing the absolute fuck out of me.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
in a way where i was like aware it was happening but there was one night he called me and he always would call me spend two hours on the phone talking about fucking nonsense i don't know what the fuck he's talking about i'm trying to go to bed or order uber eats i don't know what the fuck you're saying so he called me up and he's like i wrote a short story about you and i'm like oh my god like trying to be like so cutesy and like interested what was it about he's like
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I wrote it about you and like you were my muse. And I was like, I've never been a muse before. Really?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Tell me every fucking detail. This story was basically like this random girl gets set up with this guy that works on a ranch and they go on a first date. It's a blind date. And like he like teaches people how to shoot a gun. And she's like, I'm scared of guns. Anyways, she's like, whatever. They continue dating. And she keeps using the gun to like masturbate, like fuck herself with the gun.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
She's like popping her pussy with the gun while he goes to work. Okay. And I was like, okay, this is a really good story. So he's like, yeah, like then she uses the gun. It's like a rifle to pop her pussy to work. Anyways.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Let me just preface this with anybody that's driving in the car on the way to work. Because they could be on their way to work. They could be nursing their child right now. Hopefully not. They could be doing something wholesome. It is about seven o'clock at night in Los Angeles, California. It's so hot. No, it's so hot. We got to take this shit off. This hood.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
One day, the end of the story was he walks in because he forgot his wallet or something. And she's like using the rifle to masturbate and accidentally shoots her whole fucking head off. I go, that's so sweet. What? I'm like, we're so in love. So I'm like, this girl blows her brains out. And I'm, I'm amused. I'm like, what? I'm like, I've never even talked about masturbating with this guy.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
But all of a sudden, I am popping my pussy with a rifle. Dude. Isn't that fucking insane? I feel. So like, he walks in and like. It's like, he like, she's like, oh my God, he walked in. Like, like what? Like.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
here's the thing i do feel like life is about how you handle moments and i do feel like of any woman in the world for a man to share that kind of short story you are the type of person that could maybe handle it better than another woman because like some would just literally start like crying on the phone being like why would you tell me this but you're like
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
baby I said thank you and then when you got off the phone do you like call your friends or do you just like pick back up that once I mean like I can like handle a fucking weird weird like dirty text or whatever but like a weird two-hour story about like how I blew my head off with a rifle Via Matt via masturbating. I didn't really know what to handle. So, yes, I called my best friends.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I was like, I don't handle this well. I'm about to visit him, whatever. And they're like, honestly, period. And I was like, period per. Let's still do it. I still visited him and I came.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
hallie yeah hallie alex i couldn't get on that flight i'm too paranoid i think he was gonna fucking kill me i mean your podcast is gonna be fucking insane you're literally lounging like which story should i tell about him uh the hog ties i wouldn't even consider that bad sex that was good sex you enjoyed that i like that what is the worst sex you've ever had or what would you consider bad sex
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
We are sweating and we're drinking martinis and I'm sitting across from Hallie. Now, I discovered Hallie on TikTok one day and I said, I'd like that bitch. I would like to be friends with that bitch. And then I ended up starting a company and I was like, oh, I can be friends with her and I can work with her, which is pretty cool. And Hallie is going to be launching her podcast tomorrow.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
There was this one guy I hooked up with where he had like this weird baby fetish. Like where he thought it was like a doll. Or like a baby doll. And he was like, oh, my pretty little princess. My little girl. My little pretty little princess. And I was like, who the fuck do you think you're talking to? He's like, just my pretty little princess and I'll be tucked in the bed.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And I was like, do you need to be fucking murdered?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Because I don't know what the fuck you're talking about right now. No, that's the type of shit I'm not into. Freak of the week. I'm going to ask you some rapid fire. Okay. Who is the most famous person in your DMs? You know this. You can't say it.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
You want me to say it? No, we're here.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Or do we want to let you hook up with him first and then?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Yeah, I mean, I don't want people to hook up. I mean, there's a lot of famous people on my DM. How do you handle that? Do you like that? No. Well. I mean, they're all fucking weirdo losers. I feel like as a grown up, I feel like I'm like, oh, it'd be so cool to like fuck a famous guy. And then you're like, oh, these famous people are fucking weird freaks like Scott Disick. Get out of my DMs.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
OK, have you ever hooked up with your friend's boyfriend?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
yeah well like it's memorial day weekend and like she can send it i mean like she was like suck them sideways i said i'll suck them diagonal no can i tell the story yeah you tell the story but i won't tell who it is no like please tell the story because i want to tell the story so bad i think it's hilarious it shows how close me and lauren are she loves this story is she okay with it going public okay
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
So Hallie and I are with Lauren and we're with Graydon and I don't know what happened, but we all started talking about sucking dick. And then all of a sudden you guys both turned to me and you had this like sadistic grin on and you're both like, oh my God, should we show her? And I'm like, show me what? And you're like, let's show her. And Lauren was like, show her.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
You go, I need another drink before you show me. And then you took like a massive gulp of a drink and you go, okay, I'm ready. Okay.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And they pull up their phone and they go, this is a video of Halle sucking my boyfriend's dick. And I'm filming it. And I'm like, hold on, hold on. Just for context, Daddy Gang, her Lauren is my Lauren. Like, they are best friends. They do everything together. And how long have Lauren and her boyfriend been together? Four years. Four years. Okay. So they show me this video. Honestly, great work.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Don't drug the team. Don't drug the team. Don't drug the team. Dawn Grateful Wench.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Get back in your word team. How does that look?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Great work by you. I mean, I learned from the best.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And Hallie is... I'm really good at sucking dick ass. Wait, don't...
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
what is this episode i keep that in anyway so i watched this and it was a masterpiece like it wasn't even like a weird video it felt like we were all in this together kind of vibe like lauren was like moving to make sure she was getting the right angle the boyfriend was having a good time you were having a good time yeah i think she had a ring light but but how the fuck Do you?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And isn't it, like, now, like, a yearly thing? Yeah. Because she doesn't like to suck dick?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
What is this? Well, like, it's, like, our inside joke. Like, she doesn't like to suck dick. And I was like, oh, we're going to do it for you. And, like, we're all, like, really good friends. Like, oh, yeah. She's so confident. Like, she's too confident. She's so hot. She's, like, she's so hot.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Extra Dirty, episode one comes out. So cheers. You fucking did it, bitch. Should we take this shit off? Maybe not the sunglasses, but at least this.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
How many times have you done this?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Like. Four score, seven years ago.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Like four times, like three or four times.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
They begin with the plant, the seed being planted. It's like, okay, this might happen later. But usually it's always on Memorial Day weekend on Nantucket. Like we go out, we go to crew, we have a couple cocktails, champagne's flowing, and then someone's dick is being sucked.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And if it's her boyfriend, do you leave the room after and she fucks him or what is happening?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
So it started was I want to watch them have sex. Like I always was curious how Lauren fucked. I've never seen it before. So I like want to watch.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I've never seen it before. So like you often see your best friend have sex.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I mean, yeah. I mean, like, so picture this chair in the room and they're like fucking on the bed. And I was just kind of like sitting there with like my legs crossed like this. And I was kind of like a weird creeper.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
literally like smiling like I'm like cheers I have like a notepad out I'm like all right this is it okay there you go how did you feel were you at all turned on or were you just like fascinated I was like turned on but I was like no I don't think I would three I don't think I would have a three-way with Lauren interesting but you would suck her boyfriend's dick yeah
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
while she watches that's like not that intimate like it's not that intimate i would never like hook up with lauren interesting like i've had many three ways lauren could never be in that situation why i don't think she would want to be in that situation first of all and second of all like i think lauren has too much respect for herself to be involved in whatever situation i want to be involved with
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
But she'll let you suck her boyfriend's dick. She honestly looks at it as like me. She's like, oh my God, like he's a good dick. I'm sharing this with my best friend.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
oh my fucking god dude that's some confident ass bitch no to be like it's the most confidence i've ever seen because she's not even like worried that you guys are gonna like ever do anything never back never ever it's insane she's like i want this for you but i want to share this goodness with you because you are my best friend that's how she looks at it and does she also say like and also because you're so good at sucking dick yeah and also she's like i don't want to suck
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Last time I saw you was in, oh, Los Angeles. Yes. And Matt and I were putting you to bed.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And I have oral fixation. Like, I used to bite my nails until I got them done. Wait, really? I had the vape. Like, sucking dick calms me down.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
That's the promo. That's the title. Who needs therapy when you have dick?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
so you've had multiple threesomes many what is the weirdest threesome you've ever had the weirdest threesome i ever had thank you for asking you're welcome it was during covid cut that the way that you start stories like it was memorial day like the specificity no like this one girl was hooking up with this guy and i'd hooked up with three of his brothers like oh we cut that out
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Yes. That was the scariest thing ever because I was crossfaded on that fucking PJ back.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
We're at a house already, and she's hooking up with this guy all day. And I had a guy at the time, and I had FaceTime sex with this guy in the bathroom. So I was popping my pussy in this bathroom, and then I was done, whatever. I came out, and this couple is still hooking up. And I was like, hmm, now that I'm here, now that I'm aroused and ready to fucking go, I'm ready to fire off.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
They were like, why don't you join? And I was like, OK. It was like the couch, like the living area of this like small ass Boston apartment.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And they were doing blow. Wait, can I say that? Yeah. So they were doing blow. And she was like, let's let's just like it'd be funny if we both did blow off his dick. So like one of them be sucking, one of them be doing blow, suck, blow, suck, blow, suck, blow the whole rotation. This girl ultimately like takes off all her clothes and then she starts like riding this guy.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And then I sat on his face and then we swap, swap, swap. And there was like the human centipede situation reverse.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Did you enjoy that moment? Like, did you actually have fun? Yeah.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
What is the biggest lie you've ever got caught in? I didn't give you commedia.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Okay. What is your favorite sex position?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
You know, I would say on top. It's quickest and easiest. It gets them out of my apartment quickest.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
You get those new tits. It's going to be quick. You know, you're like pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
But I also like doggy, but guys do not like to have doggy with me because there's not much recoil going on. It's like a negative recoil. It's like putty. It's like Play-Doh. What? Because the tits are in the front and there's nothing in the back? I thought I would get fake tits and distract from my lack of ass. It's like putty ass.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Have you ever been in love? Absolutely not. What's your most controversial opinion, do you think? Anal is pleasant.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
how if you're hooking up with someone 10 times how many times are you doing anal of those 10 times i mean i've probably had more anal at here no stop we can't wait you're like you're hitting the anal train i mean i'm a good canada i don't like food so like there's only in me can you see that have you ever gone back to front and gotten a kidney infection yeah
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I think I have a UTI on my LV right now. Are you able to come from anal? Depends who you ask. Wait, what? I don't know. Who have I faked it for?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Ten times of sex. How many times are you faking your orgasm?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Usually not. I'm actually really good at finishing. Do you use a vibrator? It's like my superpower. No, I just use them as a dildo with a heartbeat. Usually it's me on top actually riding into the sunset. And then whatever you want to do with me after is...
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Are you often making eye contact during sex?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Yeah, it helps me. It does. Yeah.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I couldn't tell if you'd be someone that's like, I'm not going to go deep emotionally.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
It depends how ugly they are, honestly.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Okay, let's talk about your podcast. Okay. Extra Dirty. It comes out tomorrow. Yes. How do you feel about it?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I'm excited. I just feel like I want to get some unhinged shit online again. We got to bring that back. So I'm excited to actually tell a good story.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
fucking story yeah there's no censorship there's i need no censorship i'm excited for you to talk about your life because i feel like the fact that you have garnered such an audience already and people love your debriefs and like everything about your life but you're right like it's
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
it's so tiny the amount that you're able to give because of how salacious your stories are on tiktok you are giving like bite-sized information and people are loving it already and so i feel like the concept of you actually being able to sit down for like an hour at a time and give debriefs that are there is literally nothing that you can't say no one is telling you like hallie that's too much hallie that's not enough like you can say whatever the fuck you want it's kind of exciting i'm very excited it's gonna be really good it's always like a breath of fresh air
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I feel like a lot of people are so filtered just online in general. Yeah. Even if it's like not like a salacious story, whether it's just like pointing out your flaws. I really want to get into that and just like have like a true life online experience.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
So we're on the plane. I turn around and Hallie has her hands crossed in a prayer position and she's not moving and she's not speaking and she's not making eye contact with anyone. And I kept turning around being like, Hallie, are you?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Have you ever felt like you overshared too much on the Internet? I overshare all the time. I mean, I've shared to you. Yeah.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Like you're like, OK, do you ever regret it or no? With you or online? Both. No. It's just like what makes me me. I overshare and like I feel like that's a real life experience to be oversharing. It sucks and you're going to deal with like the repercussions in the morning but then fuck you get through it and honestly it builds character.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
There is nothing I'm more excited for than your show. It's going to be so fun. Truly. Every Thursday, Hallie Batchelder coming to you live. Extra dirty. It's going to fucking happen. And by the time this is out, Daddy Gang, Hallie's show is coming out tomorrow on Thursday. And we will be in New York City partying and celebrating. I love you. Thank you for coming on and spilling your secrets.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And now let's go to dinner. I love you so much. Love you.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Cheers. Just let God go with you. You can say anything you want. Put the microphone in front of your face. What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Well, I'm like with my boss, this girl that just signed me to the company. And like I was just I don't smoke at all. Like I'm not a smoker. I don't smoke weed. I don't like downers like that. I like uppers. So I was like a little confused what was going on. I was trying to play it fucking cool. And I was supposed to go from landing from the PJ. And I was like, my plan was to Uber to LAX.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And I'm like, what time is your flight? I've never heard of a flight taking off at like a steady 2.30. And Hallie's like, oh, I don't have a flight. I'm going to get one though. And she is blazed out of her mind, not making eye contact with anyone still. And she has glasses on. And she's like, no, I'm going to catch a flight. To which Matt says, excuse me, you're not going to LAX.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
You're coming home with us. I was like, yay.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I mean, the thing is, I woke up in your guest bed on top of the covers. I didn't even take my clothes off. Didn't even tuck in. You had given me a whole house tour that I don't even recall. I woke up and there was like a desktop right in front of me. I clicked the name and it goes Alex Cooper desktop. And I go, fuck. No, not today.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And it was like noon and I could hear you guys downstairs making coffee. And I was like calling like Lauren. I was calling all my friends being like, I don't know if I can go downstairs. This is terrible. This is like a like this is a nightmare.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
No, that was fun. No, that was fun. How would you describe your personality when you're drunk? Aside from the wandering eye? Creep. Fucking bitch.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I feel like either I go mute like you don't know if I'm like drunk or not or I'm just like completely drunk. an extra version of my extra self. I don't want to cause a scene. I'm not like confrontational at all. Some people when they get drunk, they're like mean and rude and confrontational. Maybe I'm very chill. I'm also like very like a respectful human being.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I feel like I'm just like down with like the vibes.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I'm just trying to like I don't want to cause a scene. Are you someone that is going to drunk text people? Are you a drunk texter? Yeah. Oh.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Yeah. I mean, like, who's not? Like, I don't know, like, grow up. Wait, but I, like, have had a couple, like, drunk text situations where I'm just, like, there needs to be a child lock on my phone.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
You know, once I sent this nude to this guy, and it was a video. It was, like, a cinematic masterpiece. And I was using, like, a bright pink fuchsia dildo, and I was absolutely plastering myself with it. What? Are you in your bed? Yeah, my twin bed on Nantucket. No. Yes. You're doing this in daddy's home? And I sent it to the wrong guy.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
His name started with M. The other guy's name started with M. But the guy I sent it to was, like, this guy named Matt from, like, sleepaway camp when I was 14. And I was like, he had a blessed day that day. I don't fucking care.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Did you realize that when you were fucked up?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Or did you realize in the morning? In the morning, he thumbs-upped it. He didn't even reply.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
he's he must have known he was like this ain't for me he was like yeah in that moment question do you then decide cinematic masterpiece should i actually now fire this off to the right person it's too late it was too late the person i wanted to even fire it off to i think didn't deserve it i think this random guy from sleepaway camp deserved it more at this point
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah hey tonight's about to get weird okay cheers let's do a quick little prayer let's do a quick little seance um art father who art in color daddy how how highly be thy saying a lot of bad shit tonight
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
But my drunk texts weren't even like, where you at? They were just like, like very well composed, like sex with like an intro, three supporting arguments and like a closing statement. I'd be like, this is a cinematic map. I don't even like, I wouldn't even regret that. I'm going to die on this hill. Someone publish this shit.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
How the fuck are you like writing that shit when you're fucked up?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
AI, chat GBT, give it to me right now. One, two, three.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Holly, I fucking love you. OK, where did you come from? I feel like you crawled out of a hole. Were your parents strict with you growing up? What was going on?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I mean, they weren't strict at all. I feel like they had expectations, like you had to get good grades, make your bed, don't get pregnant, although I did once. But don't get pregnant. OK, so my parents can be strict sometimes.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
like when I would throw parties in college there was one time I threw a party in college and I had all my friends over it was like for my friend's birthday and like one of her girlfriends like threw up all over my parents carpet the cops had came so everyone was like hiding in a room they went up to like the fourth floor I live in like a brownstone in Boston they went to the fourth floor into my parents room this girl threw up all over
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Like my parents, like $100,000 carpet. It was horrid. It was a fucking crime scene.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
So they found out. I've never seen my dad so mad at me. I thought I was cut off for good. I thought I was cut off for good, so I signed up for Seeking Arrangements. I was being the most. I was so extra. I was like seeking arrangements near me. I'm done. There's no way.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I never went on a date, but I signed up. You know, I got chlamydia once.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Let's talk about chlamydia. Oh, sorry. Tell me about your time.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I mean, I got chlamydia once. It was with an older gent who I loved. Really? I didn't love him. I just loved how rich he was. I don't know. He was so rich. Like we'd go to like a bar and he'd be like, what do you want to drink? And I'd be like, I want a spicy margarita. And he'd be like, I'll get a spicy margarita too. And then he'd be like, how much should I tip? A thou? Should I tip a thou?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
He like abbreviated a thou and I was like, tip a thou. And then he invited me to the Bahamas. And his friend had a private island. And it was just all the things.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
His name was Epstein. No. No, I'm just kidding. I'm sorry. This is going. This is getting weird.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
No, but he would like. How old was this man? He wasn't that old. He was like 38.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
How old were you at the time? 23. Okay, that's good. That's good.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
He was weathered, though. He looked stressed out. He looked like a leather couch. He looked like he was stressed out at work.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
What was he up to? What did he do for work?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
He was a hedge fund owner. Owner? Wait, that's hot. Wait, owner? Is that a thing? CEO.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Nantucket. that's and he didn't have children or kids he could have could have he got me pregnant he got you pregnant yes that was the same guy in chlamydia but i thought the chlamydia pill was postponing my period so it was like double homicide what
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
can i not say that you know what i think you fucking should say that because in the state of the motherfucking union of our country you had a right and thank god i was able to have an abortion back then honestly i don't i can't even imagine if it wasn't an option to me so imagine you as a mother right now like right here i'm like hi father cooper i'm doing an interview i have big tits can i even breastfeed wait oh can you
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I think so. It's under the muscle. I continue.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Okay. You know, that's what I remember. You drunkenly in the back of the car with Matt and I on our way back. You're like, guys, I have something I really want to talk to you about. And I'm like, oh, we're going to talk about extra dirty, whatever. You're like, I kind of want to go bigger.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
thy kingdom come I will make I will make him come and I will not sound dumb amen that's not a prayer no yeah that's my new religion do you think any of your exes will be watching tonight hopefully if they have a phone those poor brokies those little weird freaks do you go for broke men sometimes to humble myself
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
You want to go bigger? Yeah. How big are your tits?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Well, they're all right. 295 CC high profile. And everyone thinks they're real.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
No, like when, like, oh, my God. Like, everyone thinks they're real. They don't look fake. Because the tits I had before, I gained a lot of weight, then lost a lot of weight, and then gained a lot of weight. So it kind of looked like a rock in a sock. Like, picture a rock in a sock. You know, you're swinging a rock in a sock. It's like a weapon, okay?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
So, like, I filled that up, and I went conservative with the CCs. But they don't look fake enough. If I'm going under the knife, make them look fake.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
They bounce still. Like, fuck that.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
You don't want them to bounce? Not really. You want them to just be sat in listening to me. Wait, you went to Catholic school?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
That literally makes so much sense. I went to Catholic school also, so I can say that. Oh, yeah. Just a lot of repression.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
It's like caging a wild animal and then setting them free into college. From 5th through 12th grade, I never had a class with a male. I had slept with one guy. And I had done like one line of Adderall. And I was like, I'm a freak. I'm so crazy. And then I got to college and I was like, wait, dick? It was insane.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
So high school, you were pretty tame.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
He was like this very religious, went to the brother's school, all boys Catholic school, was like captain of the hockey team. Very nice guy, very religious. Massive dick. Wait. I know. I miss him. No, I'm kidding. Where is he now, you think? He has a girlfriend. Oh. He's like 5'7".
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Aren't you 5'8"? Yeah. In grass. 5 foot. But the big dick.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
He was a tripod, Alex. The walking tripod. If the wind gusted him right over, he would be standing right up.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
But to have that as your first experience is a little intimidating, though.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
A little intimidating for everyone else. Like, after him, it was like, what is this? What did I sign up for? Why did we break up? I was like, upsetting. The second guy I got with after my ex... Had a micro penis. Literally my pinky. What did you do when you saw it? It wasn't a seeing it thing. It was like, is it in yet? Is it in yet? I had no idea. It was like this big. I swear to God.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
You've actually tried to have sex with a micro penis.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I did have sex with a micro penis.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
None of them. I was on a bean bag in my friend's common room in college. So disgusting.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
kumbaya the karate kid is here today guys it's a fun fact that i am a brown belt in karate I did it for nine years. I wasn't like an athlete. You weren't going to see me in soccer or hockey or I don't know what other sports. Track. No, like none of them. My parents were like, you should do karate. And like that's a sport you put your kids into when you're like three.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
And I was out popping my fucking pussy until I was probably 17.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I'm a brown belt. Did you get like bullied for this? Yes. So I for a period I stopped and then I accidentally before a sweet 16 got alcohol poisoning because I was 14. I'm youngest in my grade. So it's like before a sweet 16 I like drink too much and my parents like you're grounded.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
for nine months and you have to do karate and i was like all right like fuck and i'm like 14 like guys are just starting to notice me and i have to go back and put my gi on i'm like a brown bell and i'm like i'm like cool yeah yeah and like i'm like guys aren't gonna fuck with this it's true give me like a hand move what would you do you'd bow first be respectful maybe like this
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
I can't really get into the grooves. I used to do the job. I used to judge younger karate students. What? I was that good. I was so good at karate.
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Do you use any of those moves in the bedroom?
Call Her Daddy
Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards
Probably. I'm violent in the bedroom. A man hates to see me coming.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Going back to my parents, they are amazing. They're like my best friends. I feel like as I've gotten older, I've appreciated spending so much time with them. I look forward to hanging out with them. They're way cooler than I'll ever be, but they're great people. But no, they were not strict.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
You're gonna look at me so differently. Please keep your AirPods on when you're listening to this podcast. I will say, do not listen to it at church. Do not listen to it at a classroom. Do not listen to it in front of your parents unless your dad is single, please. For the love of God. Strap in. We're going to have a fucking fun time. I'm so happy to be here. It's going to be epic.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Honestly, I think they just sent me to the all girls private Catholic school so they can get me into a good college. And my dad's rich. So I feel like He can afford the private school. I don't know, guys. You're going to have to ask him when he's on the podcast. He always used to say 42.5 down the drain, which was my tuition per year. 42.5 down the drain.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I would say something dumb or uneducated or just like, I can't believe this is the product I've made. He'd be like, 42.5 down the drain. Fuck. I've created a monster. It's his fault. We go to Bergdorf together. He brings me there. It's not like I'm going alone. He comes with me and he approves of every purchase. Not only does he approve of every purchase, he picks things out.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
So speaking of my dad, he does commercial real estate development. He fucking absolutely crushes it. He like really wanted me to be in it just because our personality types are so similar. At one point in time, when I had first moved to New York City, I had literally no idea what I wanted to do. This is before social media. I had no job. And I was luckily able to get away with that for some time.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I would hostess here and there in the summer on Nantucket. But for the most part, I was not doing anything during the year. So my parents were like, you need to get a job. Like, this is like you're 24 years old. Like, I don't know what the fuck you're doing with yourself. And also at the same time, I really wanted a new rack. Like, I really wanted new tits.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
So I told my mom, I was like, mom, like, I think I need new tits. They kind of look like a rock and a sock. Like... my weight really fluctuated and like, like picture a rock in a sock. It's kind of like, you know, it's like not cute. So I was like, all right, I need a new chest. And my mom's like, we'll pay for it. If you get your real estate license. So I was like kid in a candy shop.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I was like pen to fucking paper. I was like, I got my real estate license within two weeks. I think it was honestly a world fucking record. I got that shit so quickly. At the same time, I was seeing this billionaire and he was, oh my God, this is, he's going to be a whole chapter of this podcast, but I'll go a little into the, cause he kind of goes into this story.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
He called me from London one morning and he was, like, fucked up. 7 a.m. there. And I was, like, so head over heels over this man who was, like, 15 years older than me. Like, hedge fund. Daddy. It's all. He checked all the boxes besides the fact he was, like, a Peter Pan man. Like, this man is never going to grow up. Never wants to grow up. Has a lot of money. Can get any fucking bitch he wants.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
He's also, like, semi-attractive. I miss him. He was fun. All right. I'm getting distracted. So anyways, at the same time, he also thought I needed new tits. Honestly, I think he planted the seed, which is kind of fucked up. But like he was like, I'll pay for them. He was like, Holly, like I'll Venmo. So him and his best rich daddy friend both Venmo me four grand for my tits.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
It was like 12 grand, but like they both owe me four grand. They think they own each tit. They named them like Francesca and Consuela. I don't know. Like they think they own my chest, but little do they know I pocketed that money. It was just like play New York money at that time. I pocketed that money, got my real estate license, and then my parents paid for it.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
So I ended up getting the fake tits and I've never sold a fucking house in my life. But I love a crown molding and I can appreciate good interior, a one bed, a one bath. And I know what areas of New York are the best in the city. I know where the daddies are. I know where the rent is the highest. And that's where I typically hang out because I know they can afford nice things.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
You know, the thing about real estate, it's like location, location, location. Just like you guys right now sitting at your little laptop or your phone or whatever. You're in the right place right now watching the right podcast. Like, look at us. We're just growing together. Okay, now that I've told you guys that different men own each of my tits, I have a little secret to share with you guys.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I like might get canceled. OK, but if I do get canceled, guys, I want to be canceled for like a really hot, controversial athlete or maybe some like hedge fund guy that's gone arrested. I don't know, like something interesting, but like not too deep. We'll get into that later. But anyways, welcome to Extra Dirty. This podcast will not only be Extra Dirty and
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
There is actually currently right now as we speak a man in my bed. I didn't want to like tell you that, but like don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. But I feel like we went so hard last night. I feel like he could use a little bit of the hair of the dog right now. So let's get him up. I feel like Cookie, come here. Love her.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Okay, hi guys. This is Graydon Cookie Cutler. Okay guys, I feel like most of you know who Graydon is, but if you don't, he's like my best, most funniest friend. We sleep together all the time. He's so good in bed.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
No, yeah. And you turn on your sound machine. It's always like super magical.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
No, I actually do, but I do have my AirPods in watching Real Housewives.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
And he hates physical touch. You don't like when I cuddle or hug you or anything.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I can't picture you like cuddled up with someone. Like I can't picture you like being the big spoon. Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
So have you ever fucked a woman or are you like a gold star? Do you know what a gold star is? It's like they had a c-section, right?
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
So let's get back to our origin story. I feel like a lot of people don't know how we became friends, how we met.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Are you really counting on me for memories?
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
But probably most of the time I'll be still like living on the fumes of my night before as I have consumed like a hundred extra dirty martinis. Like they'll still be in my system as I sit here and talk to you guys. If you guys don't know me, you know, I kind of just like fell into social media. I started posting on TikTok like a year, a year and a half ago.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
He was like a crypto baddie. He promised me all these things. He used to put me up with the Nomo Soho and work on his computer for this new app he was creating.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
And he had this really good friend who was bald that was working on his crypto. This is such a side note. I went on this date with this man. He was bald and it was the sketchiest thing I've ever done. Yeah. He promised me like $10,000 in like fiscal cash.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
And he said he would only give it to me if I- Sucked him?
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I didn't suck him. I didn't fuck him. He was bald.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
He looked like Mr. Clean. So he shows up to the state with a suitcase of 10 grand in cash and gave it to me.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Then I told him I had a UTI and I couldn't hang out with him for the rest of the weekend. So you left. That made me sound like kind of an escort. Yeah. It wasn't like that. I didn't even kiss him. Honestly, I feel like he got bamboozled that night.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
We had people seasick. The waves were tumultuous. And this man is like ripping his asshole apart, like basically in a fetal position. Like, I've seen darker parts of that man than his internal organs have.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Wait, speaking of men with gaping assholes, when was the last time you have entered or have been entered... Via throat, via ass, via ear with a man.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
No, I think your type is bad. Your type is straight men. So that automatically sets you up for failure.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
And honestly, I was just making that platform more of like my private story. Honestly, I was like, no one's like being honest on this fucking platform. Like no one's like telling the truth or like... Showing any flaw at all. Everything's just like a perfect little like clean girl aesthetic image of what their life is. And that is just not what life's about. Life is fucking rough.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
When was your last sexual encounter, fling, romance, a spark that lit a fire under your beautiful plump ass?
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
No, like you have to like, I'm telling you right now to pick a date.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
tonight hallie is having a party i think tonight's my night where like i really want my eyes to cross last night we were pretty drunk but tonight i want to be even more drunk anyways i feel like we could go on and on about fucking crazy stories we've been like we've seen so much together like besides like the darkest parts of people's assholes i think we've seen a lot of lauren wait fucking freak of the week's here
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
All right. Hey, guys, if you don't know Lauren, Lauren's the one that like makes she's the reason I'm alive. I feel like she keeps my schedule together. It sounds like you work for me. No, I like might be production. No, she's when I call production in my TikTok. She is production. I'm calling for. Yeah. Like I wouldn't show up to anything on time. I'm not a planner. I am just a personality hire.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
She's also really good in bed. Oh my gosh. Wait. She shows me her sex tapes all the time. It's like watching. We're getting right into it. You know when you're like on like a sports team and they like rewatch tape to like see where they like could have like done better. I'm that person for you. You're that person. Yes. Do you have any feedback? You're amazing. Recoil is insane.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I don't know. We'll go into that another day. But anyways, this is Lauren. Introduce yourself, my little freak of the week.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Anyways, all that shit was very short formatted content. And I was like, I feel like I could yap for hours about like what's going on in my mind. So here we are. Another fake blonde with a
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Yeah. We might have been one of them. We were one of them. I think people thought that we were one of them. No, definitely. Definitely people thought I was chowing down on you, blowing the lawn, putting from the rough. The whole nine. Yeah. Yeah.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
podcast I apologize but like here we are like I'm not that mad I feel like on TikTok I'm so like ambiguous like what's going on with my like love life I'm very good about like you know dropping little hints there and here like I definitely sleep around and I make that known but I'm never like name dropping I'm not like a fucking weird freak so the thing is like with what I do and like me just talking and doing like debriefs online like I have a lot of men being like I want to stay as far away from this bitch as humanly possible because
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Lauren used to, like, show up at, like, my house on Nantucket and, like, be wearing, like, AF1s and, like, Jordans. Yeah.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
And you wore leather pants to the beach, but here we are. They were real leather. Then you met Jordan. You guys fell in love so deeply. He also has a massive piece.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Jordan. Jordan's like a walking tripod. You know, that thing that's holding up this camera right now, that looks like Jordy is a third leg. A man, if like a gust of wind ever hit him from behind, he would be standing up still.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
he does have short biceps yeah he's got a really long torso we're not body shaming jordan on episode one we love jordan we're complimenting yeah we're gonna talk about this later the thing is that's nice about me and lauren is like we have very different tastes in men i think we all have very different tastes in men honestly yeah like especially me actually i feel like you guys have the same taste in men
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I feel like you would go for someone like Jordan.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Yeah. So we're going out tonight. What is the pregame going to look like, you think? I'm like terrified the fact that we have to get ready in like an hour and a half.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I feel like when you're younger, you're like, you're not taking shots. And now we're like... Don't take a shot. I feel like you should. Should I take this shot? Because I don't want to Uber on Nantucket. And she is the DD. She is trusted by my parents. That's true.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
You should be other than some other siblings. But...
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
looking on is crazy i am looking on in amazement i'm like wow i would die i would be in the hospital sounds like shade you're throwing no but anyways we might die but in a positive way in a way that like we'll go out with a bang um hopefully but the pregame what are we having people over tonight and then i'm throwing a party later in the evening and the wee hours of the
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I had a brain infection when I was two that affected my equilibrium. So they used to call me Head Wound Hallie. I would just fall over, tip over, like just simple tasks like walking. So then I turned completely cross-eyed like this. Production, zoom in. I'm looking at both screens right now. No, literally, I would get so cross-eyed. So at six, I got contacts.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
But when I drink, the muscles behind my eyes, I keep them straight normally. Even right now, I'm like, give out, teetering. If I'm tired or a little tipsy, my eyes will just give out strength and I'll just go like this. So that's when Lauren knows that it's time to take her home.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
because at fear I might talk about them online. I will. But like, I'm only gonna talk about you if you give me something like to talk about. Usually like these men, they like piss me off and they think they can do whatever. Hi, sorry, I'm here to talk about it. Why not? So what is going on in my love life right now? My most recent conquest. I call them conquests because what else are they?
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
It's a good cop-out, but just loop me in.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
your dirtiest, darkest secrets. I mean, I'm telling everyone else, here are my dirtiest, darkest secrets. But yeah, things that would probably get me in trouble with the police, like those things, I feel like I wouldn't try to help them get away with anything. Yeah.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
like would you bury your body for me yeah great and what's our relationship yeah so how does the dynamic work here you're probably wondering because i'm so perfect and like they're like oh my god how you're so perfect like how can we like share time i just split between the both of them it's like i'm divorced parents like the product of how do you guys get along how do you co-parent this beast
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
i don't know like what what has she said to me before i'm like thinking about a time where like i took it so personally like the summer on your birthday like oh yeah into it you were so sensitive i was so sensitive people that were staying at my house wanted to go to dinner with me yeah they were staying at my house but you would auction them off to my house because they couldn't stay at your boyfriend's house no actually we should talk about this because that was no no
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
That was bad. Then you're like, you weren't coming to my thing. And I was like, wait, they're staying at my house. No, no, no, no.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I made the mistake of hooking up with this man He was in the entertainment industry, which by the way, stays humanly far. Wait, am I in the, wait, I'm considered, this is the entertainment industry, right?
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Hallie, do you still love me? I was like, you can come to dinner too. But like, I was like, no. And I walked around the block. You were also staying at your boyfriend's. I was like, are you going to leave your boyfriend and their family and their cookout, their barbecue, the thing that they're throwing for you and come to my parents? Look at me in the eyes.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Yeah. No, guys, we were at- I at least forgot what happened. It was a brand trip. It was one of the first brand trips I've ever been on, but we were sharing a room. The three of us? Liv was there, too.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Because his laugh was really weird. I don't know.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
he was in the entertainment industry and like red flag number one i feel like those men are just super narcissistic their egos are bigger than my fake tits like it's just a lot of narcissism let's call him old spice i'm gonna give a code name for the man let me wet my whistle before i tell this fucking story asmr Also guys, look at my coaster. It says cock. All right, let's talk about it.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Poor man, Mr. Chowdown. Okay, like, we need to wrap this up. We have to get ready with the shower, the bath. I'm sure Graydon has to take a nap. I need to take a couple shots. I think before we go, guys, we should give a little, like, Real Housewives tagline. Like, what would, like, you know, zhuzh up the ending of this, okay?
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
You can start, and then Lauren, and then I have to think of mine because, okay.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
You got it. You miss 100% of the cum shots you don't take. Period. Period.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
all right guys cheer like hey all right so like let's wrap it up guys um we have to get ready with go take shots this has been so much fun i'm so excited for everyone to be here even if like you're just here to like make fun of me if i'm crazy i don't fucking care we're gonna have so much fun this was amazing you're gonna see a lot more of this situation going on it's gonna be a lot of chaos a lot of unhinged raw energy we're gonna raw dog this whole fucking thing
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Subscribe, like, review, give us five stars, all that fucking shit. You can find us on all platforms, wherever you watch your podcasts, YouTube, whatever floats your fucking boat. Anyways, happy to be here. Love you all. And thank you. Episode one. Let's fucking do it. Bye. Bye.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Okay, so I met this guy. We got introduced in the middle of the summer, whatever. And he was fucking hot. Like he was sexy. And honestly, I don't regret a fucking thing because of how sexy he was. And I'm the type of girl that I see a hot guy and say, we connect. I will sleep with that man that night. And I don't feel bad about that. I feel like that's pretty normal, but just no one says that.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Like, that's okay. And I don't see why that's frowned upon. I feel like that's good work ethic. Like, you see your pride, go get it. Like, go get it. So anyways, we met. He wouldn't sleep with me upon first meet, which is probably a green flag for him. I'll give him that. Probably a red flag for me that I was super pissed off about it. So I never thought I'd see this man again.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Anyways, I get a phone call. Like... Two days after, I mean, I never thought I would talk to this man again. And I missed two phone calls from this man. I was like, okay, he must got in a car accident. I don't know what happened. So I go, is everything okay? I was in the middle of moving, whatever. And he was like, no, I just wanted to hear your beautiful voice. I'm like, this voice?
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
This vocal fry? You gotta be fucking kidding me. From then on, we started talking. He would call me for like two hours every night. And I don't talk on the phone. I'm also like a horrible fucking texter. Like text me if you're making plans or if someone died or if a baby was made. But other than that, like, please do not bother me.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
So anyways, we would talk on the phone because this man was fucking hot. So we would talk on the phone for two hours a night and he would tell me all these stories. He'd be like, what's your hobbies, baby? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, hobbies? I don't have fucking hobbies. I go out, I drink a little and then I do what I need to do to make money. And then I watch reality TV and rock in peace.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
But anyways, he called me up and he goes, I wrote this beautiful short story about you and you were my muse. And I'm like, what the flying fuck are you talking about? But anyways, obviously I wanted to hear the story, guys. The story was the most insane thing I've ever fucking heard of. Honestly, I hope it goes into production because what? So this is the story you told me.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
It goes, so like this couple, they meet on a farm. This guy works at a gun range. He teaches people. I'm just giving you guys the bullet points. He teaches people how to shoot guns, essentially, whatever they get set up. They go on a date. And she's like, what do you do? He's like, I shoot guns. She's like this prim and proper bitch. And she's like, oh, like I hate guns.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Like I'm so scared of guns, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. they fall in love, whatever. He goes to work and she starts like stealing the guns out of his cabinet and starts like fucking herself with the gun. And I was like, I don't understand how we got, how am I the muse? I was like, how, how am I the muse to this fucking story? I do not understand.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
But anyways, this girl is stealing this man's guns, taking them out of the cabinet and using them as a big fucking massive rifle dildo. I was like, okay, continue. The end of the story is he walks back into his apartment or his ranch. I don't know, they're on a fucking ranch. And she's fucking herself with the fucking massive rifle. And he's like, what the fuck?
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
And she's like, oh my God, caught off guard and accidentally pulls the trigger and blows her head off through her body out of her head. I was like, aww. He likes me. Oh my God. I was like, what the actual fuck? It was the weirdest thing ever. But honestly, me being the person I'm demented to in the head, I was like, this might be a match made in heaven. Anyways, he invites me.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Hi, my little fucking freaks. We're having a little talk. Okay, guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Welcome to my podcast. Welcome to extra dirty. I'm so fucking excited to be here with you guys. I know it's taken a minute.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Let's call it Canada. He invites me to Canada.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
beautiful old Canada I go okay let me just grab my bar let's go and I stay out there for like a week or so and we eventually like the first night we didn't hook up but he brought me to this weird ass three-hour cinematic movie masterpiece and then just drops me off my hotel and I was like I did not fly and take a kayak and a train and a bus and roller skates to get here for you to not fuck me
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
So now I was pissed and I was like, what is this? I feel like I was getting punked. I was waiting for production to pop out with their little cameras and be like, what the flying fuck? But no, the next day he was like, I have to build rapport with someone before I engage in sexual activity. And I was like, okay, like we get it. Like take your pants off.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I don't, it was getting frustrating just because I was like, I didn't spend all this money and fly all this way for the hotel. I didn't spend all this money to fly all this way for us to not be doing cartwheels in your bedroom. So anyways, the second night and all the nights from there on, we ended up hooking up and it was fucking crazy.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Like he had studio grade bondage equipment in his drawers that looked like they had tags on them. Like, I don't know if he went to Home Depot and purchased all this for me. Like, oh my God, I was so flattered. But holy hell, this man had put me in a hog tie. Do you know what a hog tie is? Production? Yeah. You know what it is? It's like... Hold on.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
You had me like... So it's like this, and it was like... So he had me in a hog tie like this and I couldn't move. And then he had this extension bar. Like, you know how you put like shades up or whatever. It's like a pole they put in between your legs. I don't know what this angle looks like, by the way.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
So you put this pole between your legs and if you move your legs a little more out, you can't go back in. So I dislocated my hip. I literally think I tore my ACL, but it was the craziest. I honestly, I would do it again. Honestly, Mr. Old Spice, you can call me anytime. you'll always have a seat at my table. But anyways, that ended tragically for a plethora of reasons for me long distance.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
There's just like, I feel like a physical aspect of relationship is so important. Yes. The emotional connections also fine, but also I just don't think I have enough emotional maturity. I'm very self-aware, but like I'm very toxic and I guess like I have very low emotional IQ. So I just think
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Long distance for me wouldn't work because I would be plotting how to pick fights with someone that's in a different time zone like all day long just for like my own entertainment. I don't think it was the right fit, not because he was the wrong person. I think I just have like a lot of growing to do, which you'll probably see on this podcast.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Like I'm probably going to come off as a fucking mess most of the time. I'm not going to tell you like this is how you should be doing things. Honestly, if anything, this is how you should not be doing things maybe, but it's entertaining and... it's the truth. Enough of that nonsense, guys. Let's go back into the nitty gritty. I want to get into my childhood, the origin story.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
People need to understand the lore, the true lore. How did I become this product? And honestly, a lot of it goes back A lot of people don't know this. As a child, I was super fucking chubby. Like it was really cute, but like not during the time period where sugar lips were really popular. I was the youngest in my grade, the last to hit puberty, like all of that stuff.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
So I remember like all my friends were like so petite and skinny and blah, blah, blah. And I was this like chunky monster, like little chunkster with a boy haircut because, you know, my mom has a really short, cute little pixie haircut. And we thought that would look really cute on me. It doesn't look really cute on a nine year old that's a little obese.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Also, like maybe don't get that right before you attend an all girls Catholic school. I remember my first day, fifth grade, I walked into the school and Mr. Fucking Helm. Yeah, shout out Mr. Helm. I'll always remember this. He goes, oh, where's your sister? Fuck you, Mr. Helm. Like that stayed with me forever. I was super chubby.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
So honestly, I felt like the way I was able to make friends was through like being funny. I feel like my sense of humor had to carry because my looks weren't like people weren't my friend because I was like this hot, cute little like thing. Is that weird to say about a nine year old? I don't. Like I was like not a popular girl. I wasn't popular because I was like pretty.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I was popular because I was funny and I was kind and I was able to make friends with Everyone. But I remembered in eighth grade was when I first got really skinny. We had a little bit of an eating issue there. I got really thin and it was the first time boys recognized me. It was the first time I made friends with like the cool girls in my grade.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
So from that point on, I attributed like being super thin to having value as a person, someone that you could be friends with, which started this whole other fucking thing.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
series of drama we'll get into that on another date but yeah anyways high school i had one boyfriend he was at the brother i went to an all girls catholic school like how fucking ironic that is i'm sitting on a podcast called extra dirty and i went to an all girls catholic school for eight years PSA to all the parents watching, don't send your child to an all girls Catholic school.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I know it's taken a long minute, but guys, perfection takes time. I was going to come out with something that's like fucking shitty and like I would have to redo and like it was kind of ass like whatever. I wanted this to be perfect for you guys. Like I was just being a woman of the people at this point, okay? This podcast is gonna be so graphic, so horrendous, so dirty, so slutty.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
It's like caging a wild animal and then releasing them into college. Like I turned ho because of that. The thing that is interesting about like the all girls Catholic school lore is like, I went to that school for eight years. I'm not even Catholic. I don't even, I'm Protestant. I'm a CEO. I'm a Christmas Easter only type of bitch. Okay. Like that church, like, A church hates to see me coming.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Like, trust me on that. Like, I've literally had sex in a church parking lot. Like, I am not like your typical Catholic school girl. Maybe like the kind of Catholic school girl you see in pornos. But like, I'm not your typical like prim and proper like Blair Waldorf type of bitch. Like, that's just not who I am. But it was a great school. It was a private school. I wasn't a great student.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
I was like probably a B average student. just because I didn't give a fuck. I didn't put like my whole pussy into like academics, which is fine. Whatever happened in the great war of 19, like I'm not using that right now as I sit on this couch. I just feel like there was no need for me to really dive into academics. I mean, it works for some people, but it just, it wasn't my thing. Okay.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Anyways, my parents weren't very strict. I mean, I think some of you have seen my dad online. Like I post him a lot on my TikTok. He is me personified. Like Like the apple does not fall far from that tree. He's fucking funny. He's so unserious. And he's like a little cringy, but like in a fucking funny way, which I think I am too, to be honest. And then my mom is like the complete opposite.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
They're in like in a rock star relationship. You have to have a rock. And you have to have a star and you both need each other for the whole machine to be well oiled. I feel like that's super important for a relationship. Like I don't want to date someone that has a bigger ego than me. Like we would kill each other. I think we'd act like it would be on like the Daily Mail.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
Like we would kill each other. But yeah, they weren't strict at all. My mom was more of like the emotional support person. My dad is more of like the financial support. He still is. Shout out dad for this beautiful apartment. I love you so dearly. Thank you. Oh my God, dad, I love you. You're my favorite. When I think about it, actually, have I dated more rocks or more stars?
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
The men I've dated are fucking, no offense, duds. And then they would like cheat on me. I remember my first boyfriend, he cheated on me while I was in rehab. for an eating disorder. So it's not like I could break out the cage and go like confront him about it. I was dealing, I wasn't like, I was in knitting class. I don't like, I couldn't deal with his bullshit.
Call Her Daddy
Cheers Bitches - Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder
He was cheating on me with my like best friend's twin. And I was knitting and coloring inside the circles and like my little Kumbaya group trying to heal myself. And he was out there like playing me. I was like, after that, didn't trust any men, even if they're a rock or they're a star, men just suck in general. I don't know. I'm still figuring it out. It's a whole thing.
Call Her Daddy
Exposing our Body Counts with Alex Cooper
I was like begging Lauren to stay up with me. I want to have a summer party.