Join Alex in the studio for an interview with Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach! Glennon and Abby discuss their incredible love story, risking everything for each other, and why they believe it’s so important to never settle. They also discuss intimacy, childhood insecurities, overcoming addiction, cheating and how they’ve changed each other’s lives for the better. Enjoy!
Chapter 1: What is the significance of Glennon and Abby's love story?
what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her Abby Wambach and Glennon Doyle, welcome to Call Her Daddy. We're here. We made it. Wait, I'm like thinking about your daughter right now and we're like, yeah, they made it. Yeah, they made it. Okay, so she's a fan?
She is freaking out today. This is the best day. She thinks we're finally cool. She said, moms, you know that that's where cool people go. She said, just tell them that you'll be their aunties. That's what she said.
I love it. Well, I'm happy you're here. I was going to say like to anyone watching, we've virtually met because you guys obviously came on my Paris Olympics show virtually. So this is the first time we're meeting in person and I'm honored to have you guys here. How are you doing today? How are you?
I'm great. I'm having a good day. I didn't have to work other work because this is the work. This is the best kind of work where you don't have to sit in a computer and make calls and get on meetings. So I'm so happy to be here. You know, Being not just a fan of you, but watching you kind of blossom and grow, and you began from the soccer world, it's just... I don't know.
You're doing incredible stuff, and I just want to acknowledge that. Unwell, the sponsor of the NWSL, we're owners of the Angel City team, so... Just good job. You're doing great.
I really appreciate that. I think like it was almost like a part of my life that I never really got to bring forward when I got into media because it didn't make sense. Like the call her daddy girl when I was talking about sex and relationships, like also played soccer and was like a competitive athlete. I'm like, those aren't making sense.
But I knew at one point I would be able to bring that part of my life forward because the honest truth is I did that way longer than I did call her daddy. Like since I was so young playing soccer, you know how it goes. And so it's a part of your identity that feels weird. I'm willing to get to, but like when you retire and when you're away from it, you're like, who am I without this thing?
So it's been incredible to get back into it. And I feel like I literally called my mom. I was like, I feel like a part of me is back. Like, I feel like I'm alive again. And it's just, it's amazing. And to be sitting with you, I mean, Abby, like, no, your kids think I'm cool, but
growing up are you fucking kidding me sorry for my language i just wanted to be you and you are so fucking talented in all the things and so yes bow down to you soccer fucking god that's sweet thank you You guys, your book, first of all, congratulations. I know obviously you've written numerous books, but like we can do hard things doing it together. Congratulations.
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Chapter 2: How did childhood insecurities shape their identities?
And the gold medal was just put around my neck and I would step off the podium. And my first thought was like, I want to do that again. There's the repetitive nature of professional sport and the new season and the next thing that wasn't conducive to true peace, right? And I think that when I met Glennon and I got three kids, the drive towards the ordinary...
has allowed me to actually experience extraordinary coming into my life. Because it's being, the extraordinary is coming in in a foundation that's built on true ordinary. That's incredible. Yeah, and I think, and I assume that you probably have a lot of relatability to this given where you're at in your life and in your career. It's just something to explore.
Like, what am I actually driving toward? And when I get there... Assuming you've gotten there, Alex. Yeah. Am I asking myself the right questions to live a life that I really want? What's the end game here? And that's something that Glennon was really good at helping me craft, like, what is enough? What are we doing here?
And in it, in, in and of itself, like this book that we've made asks ourselves, it's, it's, it's written in 20 different questions and 20 different chapters so that you can start asking yourselves these questions. Like, what am I doing? Like, what is the whole point? Why are we here? All of it.
Everything you just said, I relate to. Yes, you're right. You're like seeing right through me. I'm like, I, we just met, but I can, I feel it out. I, I so relate to so many things you're saying.
And I agree with the athlete thing of like, there's an identity crisis, but it, and you're also made to feel as though if you are going for something so big and so valued and so many people are going to look at you in this high regard and And you just keep doing it and you just keep winning. And it's so addictive. Like it is.
It's an addictive thing that then when you are sitting at home and really what you learn is it's actually kind of more beautiful when you have just people around you and it's longevity and love and care and kindness and all that in the house. But you're like, why is it quiet? Why is this boring? What's wrong?
Yeah.
Like, I'm a loser now. I'm just sitting here and all my athletic ability. And then it's like, no, no, no, no. This is actually peace. And this is beautiful. And it's not normal to every waking day be like, I have to one-up myself. I have to one-up myself. I have to keep doing it. That can drive you insane and can also drive you to be depressed because then you're like, I need that high.
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Chapter 3: What challenges did they face with addiction?
Abby, what was the moment for you that you knew you needed to get sober?
Well, I had many. Being a professional athlete, I had a kind of a secret personal life that not many people knew about, and this was totally a part of it. Um, and I think being an athlete too, I just took on that persona that I just, I, I went hard all the time in every aspect of my life, except school. Um, I was the athlete. I went to parties. That's what I did.
I went to college and then I became a soccer player and started playing on the national team. And so then I started to like create these time periods where I could do it, like my times off. So I would never really drink in, in, in camp, but when I'd have the weekend off or a week off, I would, I would rage for five, five of those seven days.
And throughout a whole career of doing this 15, 20 years, It starts to take its toll. And then I start getting more injured, getting older, starting to use prescription meds. Those get kind of out of control. I'm leading towards my retirement from sport. And then I get a DUI. And that was the most important thing that ever happened to me.
I get a DUI, my mugshot is on the ESPN ticker for like seven straight days. And it was like the thing that like woke me up. And I was like, whoa, my life is way worse because of alcohol. And for a lot of my life, it was what I was telling myself, it was way better having all this fun and doing all this fun things and hanging out with all these amazing people.
And I have not had a drink since that night I got arrested. And it's one of the things I've been sober for almost for nine years now. I just hit nine years. And everything really powerfully good in my life has happened in my sobriety. And I won gold medals as a high functioning alcoholic. And a lot of professional athletes struggle with this stuff and they don't do it publicly. And I get that.
And there's more support for and mental health support for pro athletes now than there was when I was going through. But I was just, you know, I was just really kind of suffering, not knowing if I was doing life right. Like I didn't know. I thought that that was like the only way. And I didn't literally know a single sober person until I met Glennon.
I didn't know a single person that was sober in my life until I met her. And now I think, wow, I'm so proud that our kids will never, ever see me intoxicated. I'm so proud that I have built a life that feels not boring. My biggest concern was like, it's going to be so boring. What the fuck am I going to do?
And the truth is when you have three children, there is a lot to do all the time, every day. And so, and then we're both full-time working people. And so there's a lot that I wouldn't be able to have the life that I have now, had it not been for me getting sober, I wouldn't, I would have probably missed Glennon. This whole thing would never, you know?
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Chapter 4: How did Glennon and Abby meet and what was the story behind their first encounter?
Chapter 5: What lessons did they learn from their experiences with cheating?
No, I was thinking I can't trust myself to make a good decision. That's what I thought. Right? That's all the research and whatever. Like I cannot trust myself to know if something's going on.
Yeah.
I think I do trust that now. I think that is like what getting back in your body is about too. It's like starting to pay attention and not gaslight yourself.
It's a great point because I think a lot of people listening and specifically women like we're always –
kind of taught to question ourselves like we're not supposed to be confident and know what we want it's like question yourself and don't be so confident and you talking about being in your body and how your life is changing by starting to be more like cognizant of like where you are and who you are in your relationships like again then having a beautiful relationship that you guys are building together it makes it easier but it still is going to show up and then it's about how you guys handle those moments that then
if anything, they get you even closer. Like that moment, like you just said, we've never had something like that except for last Tuesday. I'm just kidding. You're like, Tuesday? But those moments make it so much easier to be light and free and in your body when you feel that safe where you're like, oh, I don't even care about your email. Don't give me the password. I'm too busy.
Can we talk about intimacy? Because I think a lot of people, when they think about relationships and kind of like how you described it, Glennon,
sex for you you were just like oh I thought it was something you did oils change boom bye we're done and I think a lot of people think about sex and intimacy is like it the the way to equate how good our relationship is is how much we're having sex like if someone is craving more intimacy in their relationship currently like what advice do you have for them listening and watching I guess just even saying that is a good start yeah I think that
something that works for us is to like know what makes each other feel like that, that intimacy connection is there because we've been together for 10 years ish.
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Chapter 6: How do they define intimacy in their relationship?
Yeah.
In a way that's what you fall in love with is like this version of me that I get to be on the earth because this person allows me to be in that space.
Knowing like everyone watching this right now because I have so many people that write in every day and they're like, is this the right person? That's it. How do you feel when you're with this person? And if you don't feel like your best version of yourself, you probably have the answer. Okay, I want to play a quick game. Yay.
Because now that you said that you're getting to like 10 years, we need to play a little who's more likely to. Okay. Who is more likely to start a deep, personal, intimate, emotional conversation at 11 p.m. at night? We've never been awake at 11 p.m. Okay, late night.
7 p.m. So 8 o'clock p.m. would be very, very late. 7 p.m. That's a bonus of being sober.
You go to sleep early. Who do you think? This is a tough one for us. I think it would be me.
I think it would be me. You. I do, too. Thank you. Because at 6 p.m., she starts to power down.
And you're like, honey, one thought I had to go to bed, go to bed. OK, who's more likely to send a steamy text during a work meeting?
That's so good. I feel sad. I never send you steamy texts. Yeah, it would be me for sure. It's you. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it tomorrow. Do it tomorrow.
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Chapter 8: What does it mean to never settle in relationships?
what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her Abby Wambach and Glennon Doyle, welcome to Call Her Daddy. We're here. We made it. Wait, I'm like thinking about your daughter right now and we're like, yeah, they made it. Yeah, they made it. Okay, so she's a fan?
She is freaking out today. This is the best day. She thinks we're finally cool. She said, moms, you know that that's where cool people go. She said, just tell them that you'll be their aunties. That's what she said.
I love it. Well, I'm happy you're here. I was going to say like to anyone watching, we've virtually met because you guys obviously came on my Paris Olympics show virtually. So this is the first time we're meeting in person and I'm honored to have you guys here. How are you doing today? How are you?
I'm great. I'm having a good day. I didn't have to work other work because this is the work. This is the best kind of work where you don't have to sit in a computer and make calls and get on meetings. So I'm so happy to be here. You know, Being not just a fan of you, but watching you kind of blossom and grow, and you began from the soccer world, it's just... I don't know.
You're doing incredible stuff, and I just want to acknowledge that. Unwell, the sponsor of the NWSL, we're owners of the Angel City team, so... Just good job. You're doing great.
I really appreciate that. I think like it was almost like a part of my life that I never really got to bring forward when I got into media because it didn't make sense. Like the call her daddy girl when I was talking about sex and relationships, like also played soccer and was like a competitive athlete. I'm like, those aren't making sense.
But I knew at one point I would be able to bring that part of my life forward because the honest truth is I did that way longer than I did call her daddy. Like since I was so young playing soccer, you know how it goes. And so it's a part of your identity that feels weird. I'm willing to get to, but like when you retire and when you're away from it, you're like, who am I without this thing?
So it's been incredible to get back into it. And I feel like I literally called my mom. I was like, I feel like a part of me is back. Like, I feel like I'm alive again. And it's just, it's amazing. And to be sitting with you, I mean, Abby, like, no, your kids think I'm cool, but
growing up are you fucking kidding me sorry for my language i just wanted to be you and you are so fucking talented in all the things and so yes bow down to you soccer fucking god that's sweet thank you You guys, your book, first of all, congratulations. I know obviously you've written numerous books, but like we can do hard things doing it together. Congratulations.
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