Natasha Bure
Appearances
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
When you do things that are shameful or you're not proud of, it's so easy to keep them hidden. And then you have almost this hardened heart over it. Like it's so hard to scratch the surface of what doing those things even feels like or, you know, the shame that you do carry. Every person makes mistakes.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
cultivate a you know a honest conversation and I think that that's that's really difficult and I know for me even when you anytime I feel like we have a conversation and you're honest because again I always I see you at home and things like that but I also you know you're such a business woman and you have your things together.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And whenever we have conversations where you do let me into, you know, little parts that you're struggling as much as I am like, wow, you know, that's eyeopening and things like that. It's very encouraging to me.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And so I think for anyone of any age, whether you're a parent, whether you're a child, allowing yourself to be vulnerable is honestly one of the most encouraging things to the other person. It could even be you, like me wanting it to get off my chest, but maybe then it would encourage you or vice versa. Yeah. And so I would just encourage that open communication.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
I know I definitely have in, you know, even some of my closest friends where I tell them something that's really vulnerable and it's either gotten back to me that other people have heard or things like that. And I think that's also where I've learned to seek wise counsel and specific things when I'm going for specific advice.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And that's not to say that, you know, all of your friends have a certain, you know, group or area in your life. But I know that like,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
If I'm really struggling with something in my faith, I'm going to go to someone that is trustworthy and knows their stuff and that I really want them to sort of breathe that life into me and knowing, OK, well, maybe this friend isn't the best for this region of my life. You know, I think that's maybe how I've dealt with that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And I think when you are able to kind of like get those out of the closet, the weight is just lifted off your shoulders because it's no longer a secret. It's no longer just yours.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
I think it's funny or, I mean, not funny that you ask, but during, was it Labor Day weekend when we were all in Texas and I was sharing a story with someone and I remember you came up and you were like, you told, you told them about this? Because it was something that I have had so much shame over and it's been such a hard part for the viewers who don't know what I'm talking about, obviously.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
When I was growing up, I had a very difficult relationship with my parents, especially during like my middle school, early high school years, would get in a lot of arguments and just behaved in a way that was like super not appropriate. And it was just like a heavy time, I think, for everyone in my family.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And to the point where, you know, my parents were trying to seek help from other people of how to better parent me and, you know, whatever. just figuring out what's going on because something obviously wasn't clicking for me. Um, and I carried so much shame in knowing the way that I behaved. And I think the way that I treated you and the way that I treated my brothers and, um,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
when i went to camp i remember some of our counselors were i don't want to say informed but you know they they were aware of maybe the situation or something because even how you got me into camp was so last minute yeah and i would just pretend like everything was fine like nothing was wrong at home and our family was perfect because i just had so much shame over it um and you know
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
just these big blowouts that would happen. And, you know, my temper being so terrible and all those things. And for a long time, I was so embarrassed about all of these, you know, big blowouts that would happen and things like that, even to the point where like my brothers would kind of taunt me if ever I was not being nice to them, they would be like, well, I'm going to bring it up.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
I'm going to bring it up in front of people or whatever. And, you know, sometimes they would in just a joking way or things like that. But I carried so much shame about it. And I really wouldn't talk to anybody about it Um, and when I really had that moment of coming to the realization that the Lord is going to take me as I am and forgive me for all the things that I've done wrong.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And he has so much grace for me and care for me. It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders to the point where then I'm going, well, then why do I care if anyone else knows? If he's forgiven me and I'm good with Christ and I know that I've repented and I'm now gonna change from the ways that I once acted and I'm going to be a new being, then why do I carry shame around the people
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And why do I care what they think? And so from then on, I'm like super open about whatever and sharing all these, you know, crazy stories that I won't get into because there's so many. But I was telling I was telling someone about them. And my mom was so shocked that I was just like sharing this information because for so long I did carry so much shame about it. And I was so embarrassed about it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And I think because I've been set free, it's almost like, well, that's a different version of me. That has no power over you anymore. Exactly.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
For me, it was... being honest and having conversation about it. With who? With anybody. I think like, I remember when I went to camp and I would have conversations with my counselors that were a few years older than me or even my friends or, you know, even just any of the things that you had done.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
Not even the things that I had done, like honestly, how they made me feel because what's done is done. But I think there was just a lot of it that I was like, I'm just, I'm just confused or I'm feeling this. And I feel like, when you do things that are shameful or you're not proud of, it's so easy to keep them hidden. And then you have almost this hardened heart over it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
Like it's so hard to scratch the surface of what doing those things even feels like, or the shame that you do carry. And so then having those conversations where I would just be sobbing To my best friends or to people in my youth group or things like that. I'm just going like, I just feel terrible about it. Like, I just feel awful. It sits in my mind.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
I replay those memories like they make me emotional, things like that. And you feel like a bad person. Totally. I felt like a horrible human. And I think that. It was tough because those those moments were in the past, but it still played in my mind all the time. And I still felt the shame, even though, you know.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
I think it was just the fact that like it was no longer just mine. It was also just out. And I think not even in like a public format, but I was just able to share with someone. And it wasn't this thing that I had to like hold so close and tight that it was embarrassing. It was like I told somebody I got it off my chest. And I will say everyone met me with such confidence.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
kindness and empathy about the situation or anything. Like anytime I've come to someone and said, I'm really disappointed I did this. And I'm grateful that I have those people that have met me with obviously, you know, empathy and kindness, but also accountability and going, yeah, like I hear this. But every person makes mistakes.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And I think when you are able to kind of like get those out of the closet, the weight is just lifted off your shoulders because it's no longer a secret. It's no longer just yours.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
helped me during that time of shame. And even just now in my daily life is the vulnerability within my community. And I know there was one conversation that I had with Lev one time. We were just like sitting in my room, like pretty similar to you and your sister. And we were talking and I've always put Lev on such a pedestal in terms of his faith, just because he's
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
you know, so steadfast, so diligent, all the things. And I remember we had this conversation and he opened up to me just about things that he was struggling with. And it was the first time that I actually seen him not look perfect to me. And I was, my mind was blown and not to say that it made me feel any better, but the fact that this person who, you know,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
I look up to in so many ways also has the same struggles was very encouraging in the fact that we all go through these things. And honestly, the fact that he was willing to share something like that with me made me go, okay, I'm going to let down a wall and I'm going to share something as well. And I think that that's where community can really meet you and help you in those situations when you're
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
you just, you don't have it in you to just flat out say something. And I think that's where even going back to the social media conversation, not that you're going to go, you know, confess your sins on social media and things like that, but it is hard because there are so many people that aren't met with that or don't have that community that does, um,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And I don't know. I think that was also a huge change. transition for me and something that I definitely had to work through at first. And, and now, you know, you get acclimated to what that looks like, but how was that for you? I actually don't have any breakup story. No, but I'm talking about transitions in terms of like,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
I don't know what she's talking about.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
I just felt stagnant in a lot of areas in my life. And honestly, I wasn't even praying at first for a transition. I just was praying to God, like, Lord, reveal yourself, whatever you have planned for my life, would you just make it so evident and like put it so heavy on my heart that I feel- That's good. innately called to do that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And so it honestly was just through a lot of prayer and then confirmation of just like little things or people talking or conversations that I would have that I just felt even more encouraged. And then it was up to me to either, you know, make that leap of faith or not. And so, um, that was ultimately how I felt called.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
I just had one thought before I, um, or before I get it off my brain, what am I saying? Both of you talking about even like you saying how each season of your life, it's gotten better. And you obviously being or used to be like a transition here. I honestly have always been the opposite. Like I... always want things to go faster. Like I want to get out of the season that I'm in.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
When I was 10 years old, I was telling my parents like, I can't wait till I'm 18 and I can move out the house. Like literally always like I just wanted the next phase of life. And I remember a few years ago, I had a really tough breakup and I, I was just at such a low point in my life. And I thought that the next season was for God to bring me someone new.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
So I just was kind of waiting around like, okay, I broke up with this person. They weren't for me. Are you going to reveal who this next person is? And within the midst of that, I didn't even realize that the Lord had provided all of this brand new community, girls that are now truly like my sisters, my best friends.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And this entire time I was kind of waiting around thinking that it was gonna be a guy because we always have our own perspective of what that next season is, right? And I had totally missed the season that I was in. That next transition season was through my girlfriends and meeting all these people in Texas.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And I think that that's something it's so encouraging not to miss and savor the season that you're currently in prior to the upcoming transition. Because I know when I was younger, I just was like, I want to do this. I want to do this. But I couldn't enjoy what I had.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
what she's saying no i'm just saying when i was still in los angeles i went through this breakup and i was so low and sad about it and i thought okay i just have to wait and the next like big transition season would be when a guy yes but that's not why i moved mom no i understand i totally understand okay okay you were saying okay yeah
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
So if you think you're the only one that doesn't communicate. Yeah. I'm just saying within that time when I was so low, I obviously then realized it and was like, wow, the Lord is so faithful in my prayers of providing those people. But I didn't even realize that he had placed all these specific people at this specific time that I needed the most.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And I had it in my mind that I was expecting something else when he provided exactly what I needed. And so that's more of my point is savor the moments that you're in because the Lord is faithful in providing the things that you need in that moment. And then when that transition period comes in that next season, then you can go on you know, with open arms and welcoming that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Honestly, something that one of my best friends always to piggyback off what you said, she always will ask me whenever I'm upset or I'm coming to her for advice or whatever. She will just say, what do you need? Like, what do you need? Do you need a hug? Do you literally need an ear? Do you want advice? Which is similar to what you said, but Oh, my God. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Thank you. Thank you very much.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
I feel like I went through a pretty big transition season this past year. I moved to Dallas, obviously, as you know. But yeah, I have been... Everyone wants to know why you moved to Dallas. I honestly, I'm such a fan of change. I actually love transitions. I feel like growing up, we moved so many times, so many houses. I've been to so many different schools.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
That's like a big part of my life is change. And I feel like when my life is a little stagnant and a little boring, I crave change. which may be unlike a lot of people, you know, growing up in the same place with the same people. But that was just never how I grew up. So this past year, I was coming up on my lease and figuring out if I wanted to resign.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And I had gone to Texas a few times and met some people that I really loved. And I just fell honestly in love with the community and the people out there. And so I started praying about it. And I'm really blessed and fortunate, obviously, that my job can allow me to live and move wherever. So prayed about it and felt really called to just take a leap of faith and move to Texas.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
figure it out when I got there. There wasn't really like a huge rhyme or reason other than I just wanted to grow. And I feel like you're only growing when you're put in a position that's a little bit uncomfortable. And I will say the first few months were pretty uncomfortable. And it was actually very funny because I had a very similar transition season, I would say, when I got out of high school.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And that was actually very tough for me because I I didn't go to college and all of my friends that I graduated high school with went off to college and I didn't have any community. And when I was sitting around working a job and all my friends were away, I resorted to a group of people that definitely just kind of led me astray and weren't the best. And I think that it
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
was very, it was very tough on my relationship with my family at the time and my brothers. We like weren't as close, which is just so polar opposite to how we normally are. But I just really, I just really took a different path. And so this time around moving to a whole new state, moving across the country by myself, My parents didn't go.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
In Los Angeles. From apartment to apartment.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
I just made the decision. I really felt called. Packed it up and drove. Drove her car. The pod got there. Unloaded it. Found an apartment. Unloaded it by myself.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
For sure. For sure.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Yeah. And I had been out of the house. I left home when I was 20. So I had been out. Why are you laughing? I'm sorry. This is like when mother daughter stuff comes in.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Yes. No, I know I did. I'm but I'm saying I'm I moved out at 20 and it was within that time that I I just yeah, I wasn't surrounding myself with the best people. And then I ended up moving home for a year because of COVID and not having a place. And then this past year when I was figuring out if I wanted to re-up my lease, I just felt so called to go.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And it's funny because I didn't really have any reason to be in Dallas. I don't have a job there. I don't have a bunch of friends. And I remember the first two, three weeks that I went there, I did not meet or see a single person. I was, mind you, building my apartment again by myself because I didn't have any friends to call and help me. But I called my dad just crying and he was like,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
you just have to pray for community and the Lord will provide it for you. Like it might not be right now, but just hold on. It was actually such a beautiful and testing moment because I had been in that similar season right out of high school where I was desperate for friends. And I just ended up snatching up these people for comfort rather than, you know,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
the types of community that are going to be lifelong. And so this time around, it was very testing for me that, okay, I might not have a billion friends in this brand new city and everyone to hang out with, but you know, I have one, I have two and I'm going to grow. And I'm going to take the opportunity.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
If someone wants to meet for coffee that I don't know them really well, I got to build all these friendships. And it was really, it was such a beautiful time, but it was a very full circle thing, like almost a round two in a way, even though totally different moving to a new state, but it was a very, very fun experience for me. Well, that's good. That's, yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Yeah. You know, I feel pretty similarly just with my brother Lev having gotten married, which is so beautiful. And I love his wife. I truly adore her. But in the beginning, it was a little bit weird of a transition just because our family is so close. And so then to have somebody else come in and then him not be at all of our dinners or things like that, it's just it feels weird and different.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Yeah, I've been asked every way that you've said I've been asked, like over the phone, on text, in person. So I feel like it's I don't know. I've experienced all of them. So I feel like it's hard for me to say, oh, I've just this is typically how.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
for the guys that have asked me over texts, but like I just saw them and it's the conversation we had the other day where we were talking about, you'd see them, you know, in a coffee shop or something like that. And then they'd go home and message you like, I think I saw you. It's like, well, just come say hi. Like there's just such a disconnect. Yes.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
And so if I knew I was going to see somebody or I just did, and then they chose to ask me out on text, that to me is already a little bit of like a, I don't know really if I'm feeling this, but if it's someone who doesn't live near me or I'm not going to see them for a long time and they decide to call me or ask me on text, I'm fine with that. I think that's a difference.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
But when it comes from a place of like, are you too insecure to ask me in person because you're scared of rejection? I don't like that. Me too.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I feel like dating has affected my friendships for the good and the bad. I have a couple of girlfriends. I feel like the second they got in relationships, I never saw them again. Which I feel like is really common when you find... significant other or a partner, you kind of just latch onto them and want to spend all your time with them.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
And then I have some of my best girlfriends that are either dating or they're currently married that actually do a phenomenal job of still cultivating a personal relationship with you aside from, you know, being with their partner and things like that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
But I don't know if you've had experience like losing friends or anything like that, but you kind of get sucked into a wormhole, especially like in the early phases of your relationship, I feel like.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Who set that boundary? I was going to ask, was that a conversation you guys had with Austin's dad?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Um, yeah, I, I definitely have boundaries that I've set in my own life, that of which I've, I've definitely struggled with and, you know, we've had conversations about that. And I think one of the biggest things for me in terms of those boundaries, and it's something you touched on is just the accountability. Um, because I think in the past when I did have those, they felt so
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I don't know the right word. I don't want to say like concrete or like finite, but it was just... The shame that came once my boundaries were broken or if I felt temptation or anything like that, the shame that I would feel, you know, was one thing. And when I did, you know, come to community, I was not met with grace.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I don't feel like I was necessarily met with understanding, which can be really tough because you're already dealing with that on your own. And so...
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Now I'm really fortunate just with the community that I do have where if I do fall into temptation or if I am struggling with boundaries or anything like that, I'm able to have accountability with my friends that are aware of the person that I'm dating and what those boundaries were and asking those questions and being in the loop.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
When you have people in the loop within your relationship, it is so helpful Because you also know that someone else is looking out for you and you're going to eventually maybe have to have that conversation with them. But that was something I honestly really struggled with.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I think just initially was because a little bit of that hurt that I had to then go, okay, well, I don't ever want to experience that again. And I feel like that's something probably a lot of girls have dealt with in terms of when you do something wrong and... you know, Christ always meets us with love and forgiveness.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
But if you're not met with that necessarily with another person, it's like, oh, like, I just want to hide that. I never want to like share it again. And if it happens again, oh man, like I feel so bad about it. And I could never admit that to my friends. I could never admit that to my parents because I don't want the lecture. I already know what I did, you know?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
And I think it took me a really long time to come to a place where I said, you know what? I made mistakes and I did things that would I do them today? No, but they happened and I don't have shame. I certainly have conviction about those things and I can move about my relationship a lot different now. Um,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
um obviously having better understanding better boundaries better self-control whatever that looks like in your life um but yeah that that's been just a huge thing for me and i think again the accountability is just so incredibly helpful and friends that really truly want the best for you not coming from a place of condemnation and shame and you shouldn't but like i want the best for you and like i want to see your relationship flourish so this is why i'm going to ask those questions this is why i'm just going to pry or not pry but you know what i mean
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I'm curious what your thoughts are on this, because I've always been very private about my dating life with my parents. I know we've never really known.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Sure. Sure. No, I know. I'm just giving you a hard time.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Never.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I think for I think when I was younger, especially in like after high school, like right when all my friends were going to college, you know, I was going on dates with different people and we'd go on maybe one to three dates or something like that. And honestly, by the second date, I'm like, OK, I know this isn't going anywhere.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I have a crush and I would love to hang out with this person and whatever. Obviously, again, protecting my boundaries and things like that. But still, I'd love to hang out. So when my mom would always ask, I was just like, I'm not, there's nothing. Cause I don't, I know that it's really not worth like the conversation. Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Anytime where I'm like, oh, I, I, I feel like I would love to make this person my boyfriend or I see a future with them or whatever. I've immediately like introduced them, brought them to everything. I've been very open, but It's funny because Lev had such a different approach. And honestly, I will say, I think that a lot of it had to do with me being the only girl in our family.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I felt like my dad and you were just very protective over the people that I hung out with. Whereas Lev, not to throw him under the bus because he dated many amazing girls, but he would go on one date and then bring him over to the house and hang out and whatever. And it was very much more of like a, oh, well, This is just my life and my family.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Whereas like I would never tell them about someone until I was like, oh, this is like serious to me. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Um,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I don't know if this is necessarily a habit, but I mean, I guess it is a habit, but entirely just consistency, which is something I talked about a lot on the season that I was on previously, but consistency... within prayer, within community, within going to church, you know, the music that you're listening to, like what you're feeding your brain, things like that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Those small habits make the biggest difference. The second that you're surrounded by things where, you know, you may be tempted. Yeah, of course, you know, you hope and pray that you have a strong enough will to be steadfast and all those things. But at the same time, it's so easy to fall. And so when you're consistent, it makes all of that much easier. Yeah. Great answer.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Yeah, I mean, I think when I was younger. When were you allowed to date? I don't know. I dated whoever I wanted when I was young.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Well, you had a role, but I still had a boyfriend. Like, I had a boyfriend in middle school, I'm pretty sure. Well, yeah. But you wasn't.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Yeah, I remember a guy asked me when I was in middle school if I wanted to be his girlfriend. And I said, yes, I wasn't actually, you know, dating. You're just like somebody and whatever. I don't I think when you get older, the dating scene is a lot different in terms of what you're looking for in the seriousness.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
And for me, then, honestly, after that, the next time that I called somebody, my boyfriend was two years ago. So, I mean, similarly in that, like, I knew what I was looking for and I never wanted to label someone as my boyfriend unless I saw, you know, this type of potential that I was going to be with them for a long time. I do and will say having dated.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I mean, I don't want to use the word casually because I'm not like just casually going on a bunch of dates. But if I go on a date or two, you know, with someone, it did actually give me a lot of perspective of things that I did enjoy and things that I didn't enjoy. And
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
i feel like a lot of times even from parents or people around you there's a lot of pressure of like this is the specific type of person like you should be with especially in our family because all the personalities are very similar and so it was always like this is who they wanted me to be with and maybe i dated people that were like that and then there were others that i didn't and honestly gave me a lot of perspective to go out with the people
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
personality wise that maybe wasn't their idea of who I should have been with or what they thought would be best for me. And it gave me a lot of perspective. So I think that going on dates at least for me, was helpful because it really showed me. But I know, again, that's not the case for everyone.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Yeah. Yeah, I think I always had it in the back of my mind, obviously, that like if I'm going to be with someone, I'm going to be in a relationship, then yes, that's the end goal. But I think that's why I didn't end up getting a boyfriend until so much later was because I just never saw that potential with anybody. So if I'm going on a date or two with someone and I like them, that's great.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I can have a crush. I can like someone and I can hang out with them. But if I'm saying I'm in a relationship with you, that's a lot different. And the weight that that carries is more significant.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I think that In a similar way, when I would see somebody on social media, it didn't really ever cross my mind if they lived super far away. I don't think that was ever something, you know, that was like banging on my head.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
But at the same time, being able to communicate with them without seeing them in person created a very different, I don't know, just beginning to friendship, relationship, whatever that looks like. Because you really get to know them for...
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
number one what they're telling you and there's not that like necessarily physical chemistry between the two of you in person but then at the same time because it's all online it can become very toxic with social media about like seeing where they are or not where they are that sounds so creepy yeah but you know what i mean but it's like what they're up to and then it becomes like what is reality and then what's on like i i can't tell the difference or natasha
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
The girls they're following. Yeah, totally. That's what I'm saying. Like, it's just everything is out there for you to see.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Right. And when you're not with someone in person and that's kind of all you have to base it off of, then it just becomes this toxic hole. You just kind of dig yourself.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Well, I think it definitely depends on obviously if you're meeting that person. Are you seeing like through social media if you meet that person?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I never want to just say, here's a little how to, and you're done because there's so many things that I'm working on on a daily basis. And I, yeah, I think that's where you're able to, I like hearing those words.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I was like, yep.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
If anyone caught that on camera, I was not nodding to that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
It's amazing to hear it. It's funny because I have felt that about other things in my life. Where if I get negative comments about like, let's say it's makeup, I'll post a makeup video and someone will not like it or someone will comment about my body or the fashion where those things I will get to the point where I'm like, okay, I don't want to deal with this anymore. I don't like the comments.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I've never gotten to a point within my faith because it's so important to me and it is what grounds my life. It's impossible for me to ever think like, no, I wouldn't want to share this. It's what saved me, you know? But there is other things. And I think that's funny because then you're able to realize how worldly and materialistic those things are because you're so quick to ditch them.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
You're like, oh, it's fine, whatever. I'm getting a negative comment about the way I look. Okay, I won't post, you know, my outfits or my skin's bad. I don't, whatever. But that is the one area of my life that I just wouldn't not.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Could you repeat the question? Sorry.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I think the best way... is through action and showing the, you know, the light of Christ living inside you. I could hear a bunch of scripture all day long and I could hear stories and all the things, but truly for me personally, the way that I've been impacted the most is by the people around me that I've just seen live out their faith silently and just moving through life. Um,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I've seen that in so many different girlfriends of mine my age. I've seen it through you. I've seen it through Lev and my dad. And everyone is at a different level. place. And I think that that's also something I've really had to understand is that there is no perfect Christian. There is no level of I'm a better Christian than you. I'm further along.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Like everyone is at a different place of their walk. And I feel like when I was able to take that stress off and say, okay, I might not know as many scriptures. I might not have them all memorized as much as my brother does, but my relationship looks different. And here's how.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And I'm able to really walk with Christ every single day and have my own talks with him and my own walk and things like that. And that's been so encouraging to me. And so I feel like for anyone who does, I mean, we all have social media, right? But it's just the way that we live our life and how does that translate? And I feel like people can sniff out authenticity better than anything, you know?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And so I feel like rather than even just saying it as much as I think that that's great. And I will continue to do that. And I'm sure we all will, but it's really in how we live our lives that I think makes the biggest impact. Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Where do I start? I don't even know where to start.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Yeah, I'll just take it back to when I was very little. I don't even know if you remember this conversation, but it's actually a huge part of my testimony. I went to a Christian school growing up and I went to Sunday school every Sunday. And, you know, we're taught the Ten Commandments and how to, you know, obey your parents and all the things which I had a very difficult time doing.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And I remember one Sunday, Uh, I was, you know, in church and they asked if we wanted to, uh, accept Christ into your heart. And I said, yes, and raised my hand and, you know, prayed a prayer.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And I remember then like the next Sunday, I think for a few Sundays, at least I thought this is my own brain, but I remember we had a conversation when we were in Florida and I came to you and I was like, am I doing a good job? Like, am I being a good Christian? And my mom was just like, that's not what, that's not how this works, you know? And when I was so little, I just didn't understand that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
It felt like being a believer came with so many rules and things that I had to follow. And it wasn't necessarily about the relationship that I had with Christ. And of course, there are things that you want to abide by and live because those are honoring to the Lord. But I couldn't understand that when I was little.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I think especially because I wasn't the best behaving child, like the two really coincided for me where I was like, okay, I have to obey my parents. And then because I'm obeying my parents, then like, I'm obeying God. And I don't know, I got it very mixed up in my head. I didn't really get it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And I think for a long time following that, I remember my brothers and the people around me, especially you were all such good examples, but I took it so the wrong way. And instead of it being encouraging for me and seeing all these believers that, um, really living a life for the Lord, I was just like, dang, why am I so tempted? How come I can never behave? Why do I have all these problems?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Something is not clicking for me. And then I'm just like, maybe this isn't for me because I'm not getting it at all. And I remember, you know, when I was 15, I went to summer camp. You shipped me off.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
and I did I shipped her off Allie kicking and screaming and if she doesn't get on the plane I'm like I will have men in black come in and pick her up out of her bed she's going to camp okay it was not that dramatic but anyway I went to camp and it was really the first time in my life that I was surrounded by so many girls I was in a cabin with 10 plus girls for a whole month and
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
listening to their stories and where they had come from and all these different life experiences and them struggling with the same things I was that I hadn't really heard from anyone before because everyone around me from what I had seen had this seamless relationship with Christ that just clicked and made sense and they didn't struggle and it was so perfect.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And then for the first time I was like, oh, So this is real. Like this is what real life is. People have real life problems and issues and temptations and all these things. And that was really where then I rededicated my life to the Lord of going like, I just surrender whatever this is. I'm not going to push it away.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I'm not going to try to say I'm, I'm not worthy of this love or anything like that. And so now just translating that into social media for the, you know, for the young women who don't, perhaps are in the same situation or, you know, they're just kind of tiptoeing around the idea of faith or whatever that is.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Uh, it's, it's such a balancing act of wanting to be authentic with your relationship with Christ and how you feel about the Lord, but simultaneously, uh, I don't know. Just figuring that all out. There's so many different pockets of it that obviously we'll dive into in this conversation. But I just thought it was such a great topic to kind of... It's a really good topic.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Like, is there pressure and all of that for you guys? Yeah, we had this conversation. I feel like there's such a balancing act of you want to be relatable and you want to appeal to what most people are going through, but not too much that it becomes this trendy thing and it doesn't feel authentic. And not too much that you're... that you're oversharing either. Totally.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And there's things that you want to keep private. I think about this all the time. I'll have... comments online that are saying, Oh, like your life seems so perfect. And meanwhile, you know, I might be crying the whole day and it's like, well, do I get on my phone? And then I share when I'm crying and do I like, it's, it's such a balancing act of like, how much do I share? What do I post?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
What do I, I don't know.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I think a big thing for me on social media is to never seem, I don't know what other words to use other than holier than thou or like I'm so much better that I have it all figured out because especially having a lot of younger girls or girls my age on the platform, they're always coming to me for advice. And as much as I love sharing and I want to say, here's what's worked for me.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I also know that there's so many things that I've personally struggled with, still struggle to struggle with to this day. And so I'm always the first to admit working on, or this is a story of something that I've dealt with, but here's how I overcame it. Or here's how I'm continuing to work at this.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
scroll so long you don't even know when you started and now three hours went by and you don't even know how you got there oh i do scroll all the time i've never heard her laugh like this and she was down like deep an hour into these instagram reels like these dog memes and like random animal videos oh i can't stop watching the dog memes
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And that way, you know, when we share, we won't be at the location anymore. Which is, yeah, again, a good safety tip. So the whole trip, we were taking photos, but we knew we couldn't post them. Like there was just no... There was no need for it. There was not even an option. So we would literally take the photo and then put it away.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And I remember that girl's trip being one of the most fun trips I've ever been on, like you said, because my memories were so vivid. I have images on my camera, but then I was able to actually reflect on the memory at a later date instead of the actual memory being on my phone of me taking the photo. And...
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And so now it's funny because we did that for safety purposes and we do this annual girls trip. And now we just do it on purpose. We will tell each other like no posting about the trip, no doing anything just for the sake of being present with each other.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And then when we're gone, then let's look at our phones because we want to see what we were just experiencing, but we don't need to look at it while we're here.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I would always say time after time. That was one of my favorite parts of camp.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Um, I didn't really know what to expect. I don't think that I was as nervous. Also at that time, I don't think that I was as attached to my phone because I don't even know if at that time I had a smartphone. Like it really was just used for text. I'm pretty sure. I don't think that I had any sort of smart device.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Um, but then honestly handing over my phone and it going in the box and not seeing it was the most freeing feeling. I felt such a weight lifted off my shoulders. And I think the difference is that in that environment, nobody had phones. Nobody could even tell time. We weren't allowed to have watches.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
We weren't allowed to see anything like it truly was eyes up, look around you, enjoy conversation, have meaningful discussions, whatever that looks like. And I just remember that being so fun because I never had to worry. I never had FOMO. I never had, oh, well, what is she watching? Or what are you watching?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
If the two of you went on your phones right now, I immediately would just want to go on my phone because you're doing it. And I would just be sitting here. You know what I mean? And so the fact that nobody around me was doing that, I was actually able to just embrace the nature, the community, the people around me. So honestly, I loved it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
What's hard is then you come back and I remember feeling like, well, I don't need my phone. I just want a whole month without it. And then the second I would be in a room with all my friends and they would have it, that's when I felt the need of like, okay, well, everyone else is doing it. So I need to. Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I would agree. Sorry to just... Yeah, go ahead. I would agree and I disagree because...
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
do i think that a kid needs to have an ipad out at school during lunch when he could communicate with other kids or during class no you can leave the ipod at home when i have kids would when they come to a certain age would i like for them to have a phone for safety reasons absolutely i would love to see like make sure they're there i would love for them especially just with the climate that our nation is in in terms of safety i would like my kid to carry a phone
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Even if it's not a smartphone, I will give him something like that for safety reasons. But I don't need my... I agree. I don't need my kid to be carrying an iPad or be on a computer and not have face-to-face contact. But that's just it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Um, you guys can find me on Instagram and on YouTube. I do vlogs and then just sharing my life on Instagram simultaneously. Just what do you typically blog about for those of you who haven't literally everything, just my life. Um, Yeah, just everything that I'm going through, life, daily things. You do a lot of cooking.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And even I think in the formative years when you're young, it really stunts your creativity. I remember, I'm sure it was very similar for you growing up, you know, being with your siblings and things like that. But you on a Saturday or something like that, my dad would just say, get out of the house, go play outside. We'd ride our bikes. We'd go in the trees, build like forts.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Like that's all we had. You know, we were not very privy in technology. We had very strict rules on technology. you know, the computer. It's to the point where my mom would go on the computer for like two seconds and there would be like a search history of something random. And my dad like immediately would blame us because he just thought we were always trying to sneak computer time.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Like it was so strict in our house. And I just remember having so much fun with my brothers and being able to like create these worlds and, you know, have all this creativity and imagination and things like that. And now I'm You know, if your kid is crying at a restaurant, the parents are just giving them the iPad or giving them a movie or something like that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And instead of just trying to, you know, when we were young, I mean, we had to just like ride it out, but just communicating with other people.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Well, actually, the restaurants provided them, which, by the way, can we talk about do restaurants still provide those?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I went to a restaurant. a few weeks ago and it was an Italian restaurant. They had the paper place settings, you know, and they brought us out crayons because there were, you know, four-year-olds there. But me and my friends were just, you know, drawing and playing tic-tac-toe and whatever. And I just thought it was so fun. And we need more of that. I really feel.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
What are some of your boundaries? I was literally going to just jump in about this. I think one of my boundaries is whenever we're together as a family for any meals, like our phones are away. My dad was very adamant about not having our phones in the car. And it's funny because I think about Christmas is like pretty much the only time when our family's together. And this past Christmas,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Yeah, a lot of cooking, beauty, gabbing, just talking about life stresses, family. I'll have you sometimes in the vlog or my brothers or whatever, but it really just is my life. It's kind of all compiled into one video. So yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
We always get a puzzle around that time. Like we'll get one big puzzle and we'll work on it for several days. And I just remember this past Christmas laughing so hard and the memories because all of us are just hovered over this table and laughing and having conversation, whatever. But I don't think some of us touched our phones for like hours on end because we're doing this puzzle together.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And it's just so nice to connect that way. And you also feel like you're there's a give and take within the relationship where you feel like that person's being present and you feel loved and you feel like they love you. And wait, I just said the same thing twice. You know what I mean?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And something I also want to add, and this is, you know, applicable to any relationship, but it really does take a toll on...
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
parent and kid or your spouse or whatever when you're on your phone it might not feel to you might be doing work on your phone and that other person might not know but if you're in a room with someone for example if you were just sitting at home and you were on your computer and i was in the same room I might feel like you don't want to hang out with me if you're on your phone and vice versa.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
If I was just sitting there, it doesn't feel like there's quality time being spent, even if we're not communicating, which is the crazy part. Like we could not be speaking, but if you were on it and I wasn't, I would still feel that, you know? Sure. And that's a conversation that I actually had with Max, my younger brother, when...
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
we would be in the car, the two of us, he would be singing these crazy songs or he would be FaceTiming his friends. But if I picked up my phone for two seconds, he just felt like I wasn't paying attention to him. And even if he wasn't speaking directly to me, he would tell me it really hurts my feelings. And so I realized that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And I'm like, wow, when we step into a room with other people, we need to be more mindful of not being on our devices or if it's work, letting the other person know, hey, I'm just going to be on or something like that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Thank you. Thank you very much.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Thank you very much.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Thank you
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
It's too much. I certainly do.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I mean, I think just the balance of not even social media included, just being on your phone is so difficult. And we all have this attachment, almost like it's a security blanket. I don't know if anyone else feels that way, but if I'm uncomfortable in a room, if I'm feeling a little awkward or antisocial, I mean, the first thing that I grab is my phone. I just have such an attachment to it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
It's the first thing that I look at, you know, to click my alarm when I wake up. There's just so many things that come with the attachment of the device. So it is hard to balance it when it feels like such a key part of your daily routine, but at the same time, finding that, you know, middle ground.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I personally think it's a mix because I fully, we had a whole discussion about doom scrolling and being on technology too much.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
All the time.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I remember one time I came home and I've never heard her laugh like this. And she was down like deep an hour into these Instagram reels, like these dog memes and like random animal videos or whatever. Oh, I can't stop watching the dog memes. They're so funny.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Yes. It really is. Yeah. Just to go back to your initial question, because I know we kind of veered off into doom scrolling, but In terms of parents blaming, oh, technology is causing this stress and anxiety.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I think that there's such a big chunk, especially within social media, when you get into the cycle of comparing yourself or seeing images or videos online that maybe don't reflect what your life is like. It can be really depressing and sad. And I think just having your head down for so long is probably not healthy. But I will say, and I don't know how...
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
how you feel about this even having seen like you know lev and max and things like that but growing up i don't even mean in terms of phones but i know with computers we went to a school that was like very technology heavy and we were taught so much creativity from those i learned how to like mix i learned how to edit i learned how to do so many things on the computer that i feel like
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
really helped me do what I'm doing for a living today. And it's so fun. It actually brings me a lot of joy. Like even if I was to never post another YouTube video, if I was never post another Instagram reel, I love creating. You remember, I would sit on my parents'
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
big mac desktop and i would create these movies like i would have lev film me and then i would edit them and we would make these little things and like i just loved it it brought me so much joy because that's something i'm passionate about is just being creative and like making these movies right and so i i don't think that all of it is like is necessarily negative i think there's a huge chunk of it that is but i also think that there's a lot of creativity and uh fun and you know you
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I think there is also a lot of good. So I think that it is a little bit of both.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Yeah. I mean, at camp, we would go the whole month without our phone. I've also gone, there's been just several times where I felt super attached and almost addicted to my phone, not even to social media, just picking up my device where I'm like, okay, I'm going to spend the whole day without it. If I'm going to go on a walk, I'm not going to bring my phone.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
If I'm out with you, I do this a lot now with my parents, but if we go to dinner together, I know that the two people that if I'm most worried about either one of you calling me for emergency reasons, I don't need to bring my phone. There's just certain places that I don't need to bring it. I don't need to have it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And, uh, something that my girlfriends and I kind of discovered on accident, honestly, was we went on a girl's trip and I We were working with a company that hosted us, like an Airbnb type situation. And we had to post about where we were staying. And for safety purposes, we were like, let's just delay all of our content till we leave.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
I have a story that it just reminded me of. I remember when I was in kindergarten, there was a girl in my class named Bailey, and she was such a soft spoken, gentle spirited person. And I was a big yapper on every report card I've ever gotten. They told my parents like she just talks a lot in class.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
No, I remember that this was on my report card because I would go each summer and I would say, okay, when I come back to school for first grade or second grade, I'm going to try to be like Bailey and I'm going to try to not talk and be really like shy and mysterious and this whole whatever. And a day. And obviously that did not work. And I remember when I got to high school, we had a conversation.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
I'm sure it was amidst a fight, but you were just like, I can't wait to see you use your stubbornness for good and like shift forward. What that is. And we had that conversation in last season. But, you know, it was such an eye opening conversation because I remember wanting to be like someone so badly.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And I think that it's beautiful to have, you know, aspirations and qualities that you really admire. But at the end of the day, God made you so uniquely beautiful. it's so important to lean into those qualities instead of suppressing them and trying to be someone else because that's just not how you're made.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And so I think within that conversation, it was so encouraging to me to go, okay, I have a really fiery, passionate personality. How can I use that for good? How can I use that to impact people instead of trying to be this quiet, shy person that innately I'm just not, you know? So true. Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
It just an opposition that would mean more to me because I know you wouldn't lie. Like if Papa or Lev or Max gives me a compliment, I'm like, wow, like I got one from them because I know they wouldn't lie to me. They would be so honest. And you know me, I would be so honest with you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
So to me, I'm like, oh, if anyone of like my close friends or my family speaks anything over me, that's like such a win compared to, and you know, this is something funny on social media. Like I could get a thousand comments telling me I'm beautiful, but I could still think I'm ugly on that day. You know what I mean? Or in that photo or whatever. Like it does it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
That's like the same thing with that you were saying.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
think comparing yourself can be such an easy trap to fall into. And then once you're there, it just keeps going down and it can be really hard to stop. And so I remember a couple months ago, I was on a girl's trip with some of my best friends and one of The girls was just having a really tough time.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
She was just kind of comparing herself to everyone that she was seeing online and just wasn't having the best day. And she was at a big low. And instead of allowing her to kind of sulk in that, the other three girls were like, nope, we're not doing that. Let's all go around and let's say something that we like about ourselves.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And then the other three girls are going to say something that they like about you. And we did it in the car for probably 45 minutes in traffic. And it was everyone was crying by the end of it because it's also so unique. Thank you
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Awesome. Natasha, tell us about yourself. I am an actress. I'm a musician and I'm also a content creator, which is so fun that we're talking about all things, you know, young women, because that's really how I got started on social media. You know, obviously on YouTube, I... Didn't really have any friends going through a lot of the struggles that I was when I was 15 or 16.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And I was on YouTube really quite a bit and then started making videos. And now I feel like I'm a big sister to a lot of these girls on the internet. So I'm really excited to dive into these topics.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
a time that like the first time you remember comparing the first time that i remember comparing myself was to lev and i feel like that was just honestly probably and lev is my brother sorry just for those of you who don't know love is my brother he's 18 months younger than me and growing up we did everything together my family was such a tight-knit group and uh he was my best friend growing up we played the same sport we played the same tournaments
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
um he was always much more talented than me academic wise uh in sports and then i remember when we had moved to los angeles when i was about 10 i told you i really want to start going out for commercials and auditions and that's my passion i want to act and that felt so unique for me because no one else in our family except for you was doing that at the time.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
So it was kind of our thing and you would take me to auditions and I loved it. And when I was in eighth grade, I booked the lead role in the eighth grade musical, which is like this huge deal. And I grew up doing musical theater. So I was just so pumped and, you know, had a great experience. And then I remember two years later,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Lev went out for it and he booked the lead and started at the same time like modeling and going out for auditions. And I remember, I think I cried when he got the lead. I think you did. Because I was so mad that he was going to step into a world that like I felt so passionate about out of fear that he was going to be better than me. And there was just such this, um,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Yeah, this level of jealousy that I don't even think I've ever experienced with another female. Like truly, I think Lev has just always been this person that I've looked up to in so many ways. And so for him to kind of step into my world for a second, I, you know, I remember just being really sad about it. And we had a conversation where I remember you told me like his win is not my loss.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And there's room for everybody in every single industry and every single, you know, place and place.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
in life in general and that was really eye-opening for me and I remember then when I did watch him I remember crying again because I was so proud of him and I was like this is so awesome like my brother's so talented and he's so you know wonderful at everything that he does but yeah I I certainly do um remember that being the you know one of the first times that it really struck me what um what are the biggest areas that you feel right now at the age you're you're at and
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
I would say for myself, a huge one is probably body image. I think being on camera a lot and putting yourself out on social media, you are just... very aware of the eyes on you. And so I think that's a huge one that I struggle with. And then probably also career wise, you're always comparing yourselves to others around you and the success that they might be having that you're not.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
I would say those are my two
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I definitely have experienced it, but I just was, flat out, I don't even know what I was doing. I wasn't wearing anything remotely modest at a certain time, so I feel like those comments were not even coming from a place of
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Oh, I'm just saying that I think that like the outfits that I was wearing at the time, just so was so opposite reflecting like what I was about, you know? So when they saw it, I feel like people were just so confused, like, I just don't get it. Why are you wearing this stuff? Which was super convicting for me to go, okay, yeah, I don't even know. Why am I wearing this?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And for me to dig deeper and go, okay, well, is it because I think that this is cool or this is trendy or is it because of attention? So I definitely have been there. And then now I'll get a comment here and there about what I'm wearing and not being modest. But I think that I've had such a...
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Yeah, such a transition even with the way that I approach my fashion and modesty and what that means to me that if I do get comments, they do truly roll off my back more than they used to just because I know where my heart is.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And again, like I truly don't think that anything, I wouldn't want to put out something that would encourage someone to wear something that like I wouldn't approve of, you know? Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Yeah. Well, also, sorry to cut you off. I just feel like in modesty, at least in our schools, because I went to... a christian school growing up and modesty was like very covered up you know like our skirts had to be a certain length every single time we actually came to school we had to measure like upon walking in the door without fail and my dad would drop me off early and there would always be
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
the teacher there and she would have you measure your skirt and you had to be wearing a certain thing. And I think that, of course, you want to be mindful, but then it does put a damper, not necessarily like the length of certain things. But when you are talking about the in the context of modesty and then you're making people wear like super ugly things, it doesn't make you feel beautiful.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I never felt super beautiful going to school because I the outfits were ugly. Like that's, it's true. They made them so ugly so that no boy would ever want to look at you. And that's so true. Okay. And you're there for school. No mom, of course.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And also when you're wearing something that makes you, I don't want to talk about whatever.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Right. And that's my point is there is a fine line of you obviously want to be modest and uphold yourself in a way that's respectful. but I also want to feel beautiful. And I also want to express who I am through fashion. I want to be able to do that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And so I think that the word modesty just has such a bad rap, especially in certain, you know, cultures and areas and things, because at least when I was younger, like the modest is hottest was always, it honestly made us look terrible. Like I wore a frumpy button down shirt that wasn't even like fitted. It was like ugly brown. And then like my school skirt was down here.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
No, I completely agree. Yeah, I don't know. She literally took the words out of my mouth. So it's all true.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And then we couldn't even wear like cute shoes. Like my dad made us wear like my tennis sneakers. Like I actually, I was like, I would rather just wear my brother's outfit at this point for real. So there is, you know, something about it that I'm like, okay, I don't like, I don't like the word modesty. I obviously have such a different approach to it now that I'm older and things like that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
But yeah, I think that's why. You know what I mean? That's why it does get such a bad rap is because there are places like that. No hate to my old school, but whatever.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And sometimes I'll just keep things in the car in case whatever. But the amount of girls that will wear, you know, a cute pair of like Uggs and sweats and a regular tank top, but they have on cute earrings and their hair slicked back. They have on a pair of cute sunglasses. They look expensive. They look nice. And they're just wearing like a bummy outfit, but they look put together.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
So on the days where you can't put on something extravagant, you can't, you know, match everything to a tee. It's just little things. And I feel like that will elevate your confidence so much.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I have one of two modes, as you know. Oh, this I do know. Do share. And it's so funny because, yeah, I, you know, on my social media, I would say I'm a fairly fashionable gal. But in real life, I look otherwise. I'm usually in sweats and like a big T-shirt and I have no makeup on and my hair is in a bun and I don't care about fashion. at all.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
But if I have places to be, I love dressing up and it's honestly such a fun way to, I feel like to express yourself and just whatever mood you're in and whatever you're vibing with that day. I don't know. It's very fun. I love it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
He was like, excuse me. Are you wearing my shirt? Because I asked, I said, can I borrow some of your clothes for this episode? And then he goes, are you going to ask to borrow my clothes?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I would never guess that about you. I was such a tomboy growing up because, you know, both of my brothers were all so close in age that I just felt like the third, well, I felt like the first son, you know, not the third son, but I just kind of felt like we were all, we all did the same sports and did the same activities.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
There was really no differentiating us in terms of like the way that they parented us or the way that- Except that I bought you really cute outfits that you would not ever wear. But listen, Hear me out. Literally, you know, I went to school where we had to wear uniform. And then on the weekends, every single weekend until I was maybe 15 or 16, I was on a tennis court. I was playing tournaments.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I lived in sports clothes. So I just genuinely at that point had no interest and no energy to put on a cute outfit or to brush my hair to do anything. So in my free time, I was like, I'll just wear my brother's gym clothes. That's fine. Yeah. You know what though, too?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I certainly do only the makeup part because your foundation was so dark. And I told this story. I remember in middle school, I found I would always go through her makeup. Like since I was little, I always loved mascara or like just things, even though I would never wear them. I just would always go through her things. And then I started to get a little bit of acne.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And I remember like one day before school, I went through your drawer and I put on your like a cream foundation of some sort. And I just like did a swipe and a swipe in here. And it was like orange and orange because she was so much tanner than me at the time. No mom, you were, trust me.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
No, you told mom, you know, you go get tanned.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I don't think it was orange. Yeah, I don't know. But I just remember. And she was like, you need to go look in a mirror because I did it in the dark, too, because I didn't want them to know I was putting on makeup. So I remember the first time I, you know, dabbled in the makeup world.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I did certainly not dress modestly at all, especially when I had graduated high school. I think it's similar with anything. If you get a reaction one time, maybe, and you kind of see... heads turning or something like that, there is like a little rush of excitement. Like, okay, I got a little bit of attention for wearing this. So maybe I'm going to wear it again.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And so I remember when I was, you know, I had graduated high school and I started going out with all of these new friends. I adopted their style, which honestly just was not how I would have dressed myself. And I remember it got a lot of male attention. And at the time, maybe I liked a guy or, you know, whatever. And I was like, okay, well, maybe this is going to help or things like that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And then we had this conversation just, you know, earlier about heart posture. And, you know, why am I wearing the things that I'm wearing? Is it because I'm comfortable and I actually feel really beautiful in this? Or is it to get somebody's attention? And I think when I really started to take a step back and realize, okay,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I would be wearing this because I want attention versus like I'm wearing this because it makes me feel confident and I feel empowered and I'm loving the way that this is styled. That's where I have to take a step back and say, okay, I need to adjust some things.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
you know what that's like that's really not who you are like that's not your group maybe don't go but he also still gave me that free will like you know what you did the right thing so maybe go I don't know I think it's just a balance yeah I think it's such a balance too because I even remember that there were friends you didn't like that I had or papa didn't particularly like and at the time I didn't really see what the problem was and you guys obviously giving me the advice to like
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
To say, hey, these aren't people I think you should be hanging out with. But if you want to, that's that's your choice. And obviously that is so dependent upon your age. Obviously, when you're younger and you're a parent, you want to be much more protective. And you definitely were. But at that point, you know, when I was 18 or 19, there's not really much you could say.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I wasn't living at home, things like that. I had to figure it out on my own and I was burned by them in different ways for me to realize, okay, those aren't the people. And sometimes that's just how you have to learn. And obviously you would hope that it happens at an older age and to be protective of your kids. But it's also that balance of having freedom of, yeah, I don't like them.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
But if you want to go do that and that's your choice, then figure it out on your own that they're not great. And 10 times out of 10, we all figure out who are the bad apples, you know? That's so true.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I'm not kidding you. I never spoke to them again.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Yeah. Which I think that was where that like situation was something I kind of wish almost didn't happen. Only because when we were in that moment, I knew it. And so I didn't need Papa to step in to tell me like, hey, you got to kick these people out or whatever. Because I was already so embarrassed that they were at my house. That's like the truth. I, you know, and...
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
for as much as parents want to help and teach their kids, we also have such a good awareness, I think, to a certain degree of what's going on. And the second that they came over, I was like, oh, this is not good, you know? And I recognized it right away. But the fact that he stepped in, it almost made me, I don't know, not made me turn, but it was just, I had already recognized it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I didn't need like another person to step in and fight for me or whatever that looked like.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
So here's the thing. But this is to my point. I never spoke to them again for my reasons. Not because you didn't like them. Not because Papa got in their face.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
What does it look like for you? it's funny growing up. I honestly didn't have that many friends that were of faith. I have way more now, but growing up, most of my friends were Jewish and I had a lot of friends, um, where I'd go to their house for Shabbat, you know, on Fridays and things like that. And something that I'm so appreciative.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Yeah, we did like all, like literally all my best friends growing up, probably until I like ended high school. We're all Jewish. Um, And I was still going to church and youth group and things like that. But those just were my friends at the time. And also, even in our neighborhood, those were my neighbors and the people that I grew up with. And I was always so... Looking back, I'm grateful now.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I don't even think in the moment I would have thought any different. But you are always so... I want to choose my words carefully because it's not that you like allowed us to hang out with them, but like they came from great families. They were great influences on us. There wasn't anything that, you know, when I was coming home, like I said before, I didn't have a different attitude.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I wasn't coming home and using language. I wasn't acting different. Those kids were raised with the same morals that we were raised with. They just believed in something different. And honestly, it opened up so much conversation. And I'm glad that I was able to have those conversations with people and hear from their perspective and for them to hear mine.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
And so it's funny now because I'm like, this is probably one of the first times in my life that I actually have believer friends because... I'm just meeting new people, but so much when I was growing up, I pretty much had nobody.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I so agree. One of the biggest questions or most asked questions that I get whenever I do a Q&A usually is, are you friends with people that are not believers? Are you friends with people that are not Christian? And it always makes me laugh because I have so many friends that are not believers or I have friends that are newer in their faith.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I have some that have been, have a relationship with Christ their whole life. And to what you said, I think there's such a difference between being friends with someone who doesn't necessarily believe the same thing as you and still having that relationship versus you conforming to the lifestyle that then they have in order to be friends with them.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
And I think that that's something I really figured out was, you know, just because I'm friends with someone doesn't mean I need to act like them. Doesn't mean I need to speak like them. I can still uphold all the things. And if they're then leading me astray, okay, then I just know maybe that's not someone I need to spend all my time with. But to say that,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
All of my friends need to be in this one circle in order for me to, you know, stay obedient. It's like, well, we're called to go out to those places and to be a light. You know, if we're in that, if we're in a room, every single person is a believer. Who are we reaching? And so I think that even now when I'm making friends,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
there's a difference between my intimate community and the people that i'm really spending all my time with the people that i go to for advice the people that i'm going to call up when i have a question and i have problems and then there's other people that maybe i'm that light in their life you know and there's so many different circles and so i i i and i'm not straying away from anyone who also you know is it a different pace or or
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
part of their faith because that was once me, you know, and I had someone helping me and I had someone going, let me take you here and let me show you. And I want to be able to be that one for someone else.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I have a really similar experience growing up. We lived really far away from anyone that I ever went to school with, pretty much ever. And so on top of the fact that we played sports pretty much every single day after school and our weekends were filled with tournaments. So My main community really was my brothers and my family.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
And also just to piggyback off of what you said, and we talked about this in a previous episode, one way in which you can share your faith and being the most authentic version of yourself, you know, online is literally through action. And we talked about the difference of sharing and speaking and versus living. And so I think too, we are given...
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
you know, this gift of eternity with our relationship with Christ. And we're so lucky to experience that. And to a non-believer who doesn't understand that you could talk Christianese to them and it just go over their head, but instead actually walking with them just as a friend, but them witnessing the light that you can be in the actual relationship does magnitude. That's not even a word.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Does magnitude. Hello. Does like,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
wonders you know what I mean it's so incredible what it can really do and it's through action that then those people are asking questions well what's different about you well why do you do this they become curious and inquisitive and all those things and so to that it's even like not even the question of well what do you believe in it's then well do you act like that are you continuing to actually live out the way that you say you know what you believe and things like that yeah
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
So growing up, I didn't really have a girl group that I was hanging out with on the weekends or even at school. Literally, I would be with Lev almost every single day during lunch, or I'd be by myself because I did homework during my lunch because I never did it at home. But literally, I'd be in the back of the school doing my math homework because I never did it at home. Yes, exactly.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
And so, yeah, now I'm really grateful that I do have such beautiful friendships. All of them come from really different places, which has been so fun. And it's actually a huge question that I got on social media is how do you meet your friends? How do you make friends, especially... When you're out of college, you're not in school anymore in these years, in your mid-20s.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
One of my best friends I literally met on Instagram. Another one I met through a random group chat that I got thrown into. Another one I met through mutual friends. It's just so crazy. I didn't meet one of my friends in a conventional sort of environment.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Thank you. Okay.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
way I would say not even like through oh we bumped into a mutual friend at a coffee shop or I met you at a party like none of my friends are like that so I think it's really interesting and I'm really grateful for the people that I do have in my life now yeah I always have a hard time remembering all of Natasha's friends names
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
She'll like show me a picture. You know, the meme where it's like your dad, the dad never knows your friend's names or something like that. It's like the opposite. My dad knows all my friends names, like meets them once. And it's like, oh my gosh, how is this person? How's this person? My mom for years, I'd have like one friend and she's like, what's her name again? Like mom. That is so funny.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I definitely have had seasons of letting go of friendships. I think I've had so many different quote unquote best friends due to the fact that we just moved so frequently. So I was going to a new city every few years, a new school every few years. It's honestly just really hard to not even keep in contact, but just spend that quality time with one person.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
So I know for me, I've definitely gone through so many seasons of different friendships and I have some that are longer than others. And even now in my life, I've had to let go of friendships, not because of distance and not because of proximity, but just the way in which they are affecting my life and how I go about certain things. And that's never fun.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I have a ton of, not a ton of stories, but we can dive into friendship breakups or whatever, but yeah, for sure.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Yeah, I think at least for me, the toughest friendships that. the friendships that are toughest to let go are the ones that you really love, but you know it's just not benefiting you in the way you know it should. And it's not in like a materialistic way. It's just the way that, you know, they're not necessarily filling your cup with the best things.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
And I've had that multiple times where I really love hanging out with this girl and we have such a fun time, but I'm also slipping into habits that I know I shouldn't. And maybe I'm just doing things that are out of character or even after the way that I leave, I don't feel encouraged. I don't feel like I left better.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I might just feel like a little down on myself just because of the way that we speak and things like that. And it's tough because I... so desperately want that person to be someone that like I could spend all my time with and kind of realizing, okay,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
this friendship maybe in the beginning seasons were really great, but we're just moving in two different directions to a point where I don't really see this making any benefit or this making any positive impact in my life. And so saying, okay. And also I'll admit, I have a really big struggle with not cutting. I have a big struggle with cutting people off because I, I get so attached.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I don't let a lot of people into my close bubble. And so when I do, it's almost hard to me to revert to like a normal, not surface level friendship, but you guys know what I'm talking about where it's like, okay, well, we're friends, but we just can't be as close.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Instead, I just want to be like, okay, you got to get out of my life because I'm also tempted to then just continue to be as close with them. And I feel like that's something that's not talked about
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
nearly enough is just a struggle because you know you hear about it in these toxic relationships you really care about someone you love them so much but you know they're not the one for you and you having to go okay well you know I can cut you out but with a friend especially with a girlfriend it doesn't always need to be such a harsh cut off and I know I have that issue where I'm like I just have
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
And then we learn later like, oh, maybe they weren't the best influence. Especially when you're young. I feel like a parent can sift it out. Even when I would come home, if I started behaving in a certain way, we were like, you're not doing that normally.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
And then all of a sudden you go out with this friend and you have an attitude or you're using bad language or you're doing things that you normally wouldn't do. Like what's the common denominator here to go okay, it's that new person. Yeah, exactly. And you've come to me and said that multiple times.