Harper
Appearances
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
Well, you don't even know me, so how about you shut your mouth?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
It hasn't been two weeks. It's only been ten days.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
I mean, the reality is you sent me a lot of freaking texts with like a lot of freaking dates and now you have me on a radio show.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
I mean, I'm not really into these games that he's playing with me, and I'm not going to fall for it.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
What do you want me to say?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
No, there was just like a lot of effort. That's kind of a problem.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
Yeah. Can you elaborate? I mean, like on the surface, when I met him, like I was working and then we went and hung out and like he was a good guy. And well, that's what I was looking for. Yeah.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
I mean, like I thought so.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
So we hung out and it it wasn't until after that I realized something was off. What? Like, I had every intention to go out again. Okay.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
Yeah, he gave me three options to hang out all in a row. Like, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Like, why is he so available?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
No, he was like, these are all the days that I'm available. And I have this belief, me and my friends do, that if there's a guy between the age 24 and 32-ish, if they have that much time to hang out, it really means that he's a loser. Oh.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
Yeah, because like they're all in a row and it's like he should be grinding away planning for his future. Maybe he's not working or like working on a promotion or getting somewhere.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
I mean, that sounds like an excuse he'd use, I guess.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
Yeah, but he didn't say that. He was like, I'm wide open. And I'm like, well, what else are you doing with your life? Just pursuing me?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
Yeah, I mean, he did. He actually had decent hygiene, which is a plus.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
And especially in the beginning, getting to know who they are, and it just seems like he's just wide open to do whatever. But we're trying to build who we are as people.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
He shouldn't have. He should have just let me hang for a bit.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
Well, yeah, they asked me to be honest, and I was honest. They asked me what was up.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
No, no. It's just a little red flaggy to be able to hang out three nights in a row. And, like, my perfect guy would never do that. He shouldn't have all the time in the world for me, you know?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
You're just being a little way too chill at this time in your life. You know, now's the time to work hard and we're going to chill later.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
I'm quitting school. You're quitting school? I wanted to drop out because like people can sometimes be mean, but that's also kind of on me, you know? Are you ready for this life change? I think I'm ready, but at the same time, cheers like my whole entire life. Like that's like what gets me away from things. You guys have helped us.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Look at their face. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't judge.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Oh, yes, that is true. Line four is true, and I'm sorry. I did not realize that I said that. I am so sorry. That is disgusting. I am so sorry. But yes, he did walk in the room and say that. Okay.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Wait, where did you throw it? Into the street? No, it didn't make it to the sidewalk.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Dude, that's not even worth. Never mind. Wait, what happened?
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
We have the P, the E, and the D. And. All the letters, we got all the letters. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. We got all the letters. We were so close.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Oh, no. That's where your McDonald's burger comes from. Cash. Take one step closer. Cash.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Kick the wall and see if you can possibly get a hole in it with your- I don't think I broke it, honestly.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
What do you like to know, weather boy? My whole body is hurting.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
What are you wondering? Is this a hanger? I didn't say anything.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Guys, I'll tell you the truth because I saw the truth unfold and unravel. Thank you. So, cash ran in the room.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Okay, ready? This is what I saw and I know it's the truth. Cash ran in the room. He tried very hard to close the door so Kenzie wouldn't get in. Please, no, no, no. Don't get in. Kenzie finally closed the door. He ran back in. He called the cow. Hi, cow. He went behind the wall. He asked Maverick. He went...
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
And Maverick looked and I was looking at him when he did that, but I didn't know I like looked through the wall And I don't know if when I was looking Maverick was like yes, but when I saw you you missed the key But when I looked back Maverick was like And then that's when I came in, and I was like, for the clout, yes. For the clout, yes. She's like, for the storyline, the cow must die.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
So that's when Cash ran downstairs. Kate ran, too, in her dramatic, fast pace. And he came back up and got the knife, and that's kind of the story.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
What? Sorry to turn the pages. Tell us what you're going to say. I'm quitting school. You're quitting school? For sure? When?
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
No, I'm not lying. I just... I... What is that? What was that? Nothing. What was that? Nothing.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
crying wait are you quitting wait wait are you quitting quitting forever like cash okay let me let me tell you homeschool so it was a hard decision to make because like can you stop shining that on my feet yeah sorry did cash quit quit school or did yes he dropped out no he just stopped doing it and he had a diploma
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Enough about me. Okay, well, I... My mom was like, Harper, like, since we're going on tour next year, like... Get your tickets.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Get your tickets later. She said, Harper, since we're going on tour, like, I would really like it...
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
if you um quit school i'm kidding she didn't say that she said she was like i i would really consider you trying to go switch to homeschooled or something like that so i was like oh i'll think about it but i just don't think i'm ready to leave cheer and all my friends and like see them every day and also like next semester i'll be like driving to school for the first semester so it'll be like so cool but i was like at the same time i'm gonna be gone like almost every like week and
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
like doing like the show and stuff, which I'm like, when you said, would you rather be famous or do school? I was like, famous, like duh. So I was like,
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
thinking about that and i was like you know what like that this is like so much more worth it like my future is so much more worth it than stupid school well you're still gonna be doing school yeah yes yes fine i'm gonna still be doing yes i'm gonna still be doing school but you're just not dropping out necessarily no no i'm not dropping but like you are dropping out of school
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Yes, but it's not, it's not, I mean, it's like, what's it called? What I, when I'm dropping out of school, um, I like, I'm still going to do homeschool and like, somebody is going to teach me or something like that. Stop shining at my feet.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
It's my feet, but, um, and also, um, like literally ever since like social media started kind of like, um, I like, like, was feeling like I wanted to drop out because like, sorry, I keep saying like, but I wanted to drop out because like people can, sometimes you mean, but that's also kind of on me, you know, uh, because like of, uh, of issues and stuff.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Yeah. Wait, are you excited? Right, I'm... It's just like, I'm excited.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
okay but it is kind of sad to think that i won't be able to see my friends like every day your teacher that does crunches yes i'm gonna miss him he i love you mr akino but he doesn't watch this he watches polish things but he's actually from brazil but um yeah i literally yeah it's just a def definitely like a life change but like
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
I think I'm ready, but at the same time, cheer is, like, my whole entire life. Like, that's, like, what gets me away from things. I love it so much. And, like, and also, like, if I don't do cheer, then I'm going to get fat.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
no oh i mean yes yes i am no but isn't it kind of like don't you get excited to think about just like how much more you'll be able to do because you're not going to school yeah but i also want to have like the normal teenage experience but i feel like i've already had that and i've already got in trouble for things i've already you have but you're also like i've already got in trouble for things yeah but you know you're also gonna be in trouble yeah i know you're gotten in trouble a lot you're grounded right now but that's okay
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Your mom's not going to want to hang out with you either. Yeah. She's going to want to go do her own thing. I know. I know. It's just, like, I don't want to go to L.A. with her every single time. I just want to go by myself and live in an apartment there. Oh. Oh, no. Don't do that. That's not it.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
You ready to live in L.A. right now? I mean, like, when I'm 17. That's not that far away. I know. I know. But, like, I got a car and stuff. I mean, like, you got a car. But trust me, L.A.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
I mean, I, like, can't seem to really get into the zone, if you know. Like, I can't really... And that's because of school.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Yeah. No, like the all-star. Not select or all-star. All-star. I booked up with all these hoodlums.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Oh, it's only on the weekends? Yeah. And every weekday, like three times a week, I have cheer practice. You have a lot of practice and stuff, too. It's like... So you're giving up all your friends, high school and cheer? I'm leaving my whole life behind for y'all, so... For us?
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
I mean, I'll take it, but... And for you, and for them. Okay, yes, I'm leaving behind my whole life for me. mostly mostly me for my future but also like for the like the fans like y'all like this content so i gotta know what if you're gonna be quitting school are we gonna see more harper zilmer youtube videos oh definitely yes a hundred percent yeah probably not I think he will.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
But she didn't want to because she's going to school all day every day. I'm going to day school and I'm going to Wednesday night school because I get in trouble in school.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
It's Wednesday night school. I was literally supposed to go tonight, but I had the podcast. I left my stuff behind. For the podcast? Yeah. Wait, you missed detention for the podcast? And I'm going to get more detention tomorrow. No, she's capping.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Same with my backup account. And people have been unfollowing me, like, so quickly. My backup account has 10,000 followers on it, and it just started not getting comments.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Okay, yeah, but, like, genuinely, my dream, and this is, like, why I'm, like, doing all this, is to become a famous singer, or, like, not famous, like a popular singer.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Yeah. But people didn't show up to your tour. That's why you didn't like it. You know what?
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Okay, listen, I'm perfectly content with my life right now.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Why did you guys... Okay, but... Okay, but let me tell you something. I'm always thinking about the future. See? I told you. I am. My dream is to be like Ariana Grande.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Which we're not going to do because we're reading my diary. You don't have your diary. I do. On my phone. Notes app.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
You're filtering the bad words that I had potty mouth five years ago.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
That's every episode. I just want to say one thing. One thing from my diary. Once again, drama with bleep. Bleep and bleep.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
Want to hear my diss on Cash? Yes. Cash, you look like you're about to get bashed. Yeah, that's right. Because look at your bod. I think you're a little odd.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s Quitting School!
You texted me to make plans? Honey, you're just a fan. You try and ruin my life, but you just end up being nice. I don't think there's anything there. Wait, wait.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Okay, you win. Your turn. Okay, I got one. Let me finish. Okay, it's actually, would you rather have a billion dollars or die the most painful death humanly possible ever?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Nope, I have it. I don't know what you just said. I was going to go with the crucifixion. Oh my gosh, the crucifixion.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
They don't normally come back to life like Jesus, but yes. You know Prisoners on Death Row? Yeah, but we do to them.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
What are you doing Kate what is everybody doing open your mouth dude here we go Oh Alex catch you one Oh What are you doing You present a slideshow
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Only took you 500 tries. What are we doing? Kate made a slideshow for us all. Oh, is it about the world's most horrible death?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Okay. I don't know. Let's just keep going. Oh, someone has a gi.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Yeah, I've seen the meme, but I don't want to ask you about Minnesota right now.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Can you turn off your ring notification every time a freaking squirrel walks past it? The point is, is that he was... What's on your face? What?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
He's really trying to find comments about Kate now. No, that's not what I'm doing. What's he doing, Harper? I'm commenting myself. He's replying back to all of them. You freaking idiot. No, I just wanted to... Replying back to the comments that said you talk too much is crazy. It must be done.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
I think we all could use some constructive criticism on the pod.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
That is not true. She'll be real, man. Tell her what she does bad on the pod. Come on.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
No. No, not that. Nothing. What is that? I really can't say it. It's so mean.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Yeah, bleep that. Bleep that. Got a potty mouth over on this side of the room.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
It's actually not a bad word, but it also is a bad word, so it's like...
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
actually sorry it's not even a bad word it's like a phrase that you can't let's move on why'd you say that because it's funny hey it's fine mav what were you saying what i was saying i can't actually say why go ahead well are we gonna have to believe it well look i can probably fix this is it my face no okay then i can be fixed it's perfect guys whoa what is it mav come on
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
I'm choosing a higher road here. Even though you want me to be mean to you.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Is that why you waited to show me those until we were in front of five cameras with about a million people watching?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Sometimes public embarrassment is the way to go. So it's about publicly trying to humiliate me.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Yeah, that'd be me. My doing. It was your idea. You were just looking for verification from peers that this was a good idea.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
He was really playing the role of I am David. I think we all could use some constructive criticism on the pod.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
No, I'm just asking, why did you tell me how to be mean? What do you do?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Yeah, she says, I don't care if Kate's mean. Oh, see, now I'm being mean. Okay, see, I can stop.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Everyone's phones have been going off and we're always ignoring it. Unfortunately, I'm going to be... It's not something we should sort out on the podcast.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Like... Well, you're still Harper, but that was the time when you should have chose something new.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Ready, ready, ready. That's noises again. Have you ever... I don't know if she ever played charades. Do you know what charades is? Cash, you had a good one. Oh, no. Cash, this morning, getting all of his protein.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
No, no, come on, come on. Did I miss something? He can put his legs behind his head. Shut up. Alex, come on. You gotta put your legs behind your head, man.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Whoa! See, I was thinking, like, maybe I could get one, maybe, but two? No, you can't get one.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
At least do the crisscrossy things. I feel like I could get one. You don't understand.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Yeah, Alex can do that with two at the same time. No, I can't.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Wait, Alex, show them the crisscross thingy, please. Just the crisscross thing.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Don't let me sit here and gaslight you for an hour. Come on. Just do it. Alex, come sit here.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
No, you guys have got to see the way Alex's joints can move, man. I'm telling you. What have we got to see? Come here. Alex, come sit. Alex, come here, bro. Alex got a new haircut. He's embarrassed.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
No, I don't think that had any point to do with it, guys. Come on. Come on. Real quick. Real quick. Yeah. All right. Well, just show us whatever cool circus tricks you can do.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Well, he said I'm not doing that thing. He does a lot of things. He showed me.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
He sits like that literally while he's filming the episode. That's his crisscross applesauce. Y'all might not understand, but that is a difficult sitting position. Try it, Harper. Harper's flexible, though. She might can.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
No, your ankle's got to go all the way up there. What are you up by your knee?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Wait, how are you doing that math? No math still looks goofy doing it Oh, I know Matt because that legs gotta be this way your bottom leg. Oh Wait, okay. How does never do it to what y'all built weird? What does he look at Harper struggling? That's how I am No, do your legs behind your head? That's what I need to see I do the one I do the one leg
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
You guys watch. I'm going to be 250 pounds. Are you still thinking about your protein gains?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
What do you mean? Just sit behind his head. Looks like he combs his hair like that. All right, Alex, good. What else did you do the other day? I forgot. Oh, do the knee thing where you get on your knees and go backwards. What?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Do it, do it, do it. It's easy. Watch your knees break. I heard it pop.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
We moved all the way on to Beast Games. I want to gain 80 pounds.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
I know that hurt. He screamed like a little girl. Did you hear him? Matt, I will give you $5 if you can sit on your butt. That's not that hard. It's not hard at all. Five up at the ten. Okay. Really? No. I went for money, man.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Can we talk about Beast Games? Have you watched it? Yeah. Have you finished it? Did you? Honestly, should we just give away the winner right now? Yeah, we'll give it away right now. No, no, don't give away the winner.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Can we please see two feet behind the head? Oh. You can do it for a second. Wait, Matt, Matt, do it, do it, do it. No, he can't do it. I just need to show him. Harper, can you do it too? Yeah, it's very easy. No, me and Michael have tried this. Okay. What? Okay, do the other thing where you fall back. Where you lay on your legs and you fall back. Yeah. Yeah, but it's cool because you do it.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
No, just put the legs on the mat. Let me see you do that, Mav. Cash, are you kidding me right now? Please stop.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
No, I'm stopping you from embarrassment. I'm stopping you from any more embarrassment. No. I'm thinking, please, cool, that's not. No, please do that. No, no, no. You're done. Can somebody do that?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Sit on your butt there. Now go backwards. Yeah, Mav. Everyone in this room can do it. Kate just got scared of falling. She's fine.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
What's wrong? You look so stupid right now. Do you know how stupid you look?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Yeah, sit like that, Mav. Are you kidding me? I'm so done with you thinking, like, everyone can't sit down. How do you do that? No, Mav, you can't do that.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
You never wanted to draw on the bottom of your foot? So you just sit like that? I can barely see the bottom of my foot when I want to. You can't see the bottom of your foot? It's a stressful situation when I need to look at the bottom of my foot. Do you touch your toes even? I can do that.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
How do you make your toenails trimmed? Well, I can obviously do this.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
The double foot behind the head would have been very impressive. The single foot was still impressive.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Comment down below if you guys can do those tricks. See, Mav, you're saying everyone can do this. Look at Harper can't even get it.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Kate's still worried about her self-help journey. Stop worrying.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Yeah, you will. Whatever I say, you'll just be like, eh, he's stupid.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Because I say we're not going to talk about it, and you guys keep pestering me until we talk about it. Mav, you literally did it every episode. Come on. I think Kate is a great person. Good job.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
And he's... Yeah, once he said, Kinsey thinks it's two, I figured out it was a troll. No, it's not a troll. Yes, it is.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Fix your mic, bud. Don't need that. Fix your mic, bud. You're crooked. Always crooked.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
That might have been the fattest statement I've ever heard in my entire life from anyone.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Kate. What? Like, it's not like... It's just... Let me put it this way. The problem is you... I'm going to get in so much trouble for saying this. All right. The problem is you...
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
look at things from a perspective of like not that you're better than everyone else but like but like oh things just got good i'm here for the drama yeah but like like you know like let's say he's like trying to make up stuff that not sound bad it's just getting let's say somebody does something and you do something but you don't even know the other person did something
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
So you're just going to assume that person did nothing. You have a talent for losing people.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Like, throughout this whole time, you've even made lots of statements like, oh, what, do you have a problem with me being your maid? Do you have a problem with me being, like, blah? I do clean a lot. Do you have a problem with me?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
And any good things you do. So, but what you didn't name was like, oh, Maverick, do you have a problem with, you know, maybe this thing I do or maybe this other thing I do?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
You only name the good things because you think you're perfect. I don't think I'm perfect. I was here for the drama at one point and now I would do anything to not be here.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Is that not true? I actually think she's better than everyone else.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Okay. Yes. See, she's very aware of everything she does. She even said it in her own statement.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
I'm gonna get in so much trouble for saying this. The problem is you look at things from a perspective of like, you're better than everyone else.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Wait, what are you doing? Sideways, sideways, sideways, bud. Wow, the camera saw everything.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Dude. Yeah, when we were growing up, people used to steal from us all the time.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
There was a time, middle of the night. I used to steal things. He did. I remember one time he stole a bunch of candy. I did. And he had to go back into the store and return it. I thought it was free. It was.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Dude, I mean, I could take that mozzarella stick and just shove it up your ear.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Yeah. What? And people not assume it's free in individual packaging.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
I don't know, but if you can't read, if you can't read, you can't see. You assume it's... You were old enough to read. How old were you? How would I know? What do you mean how would you know? He was like 15.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Not old enough. First of all, what did your dad do? Because I don't know if that was normal. What are you talking about? What do you mean our dad putting cameras up?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
I wish he had cameras pre like when we were like pre at home still. Not pre at home. Whatever the word I'm looking for. I wish he had cameras when we still lived at home.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
One time there was this guy. Well, it was the middle of the night. I believe it was like August 31st. Wednesday afternoon. What? Wednesday evening. Sorry. And this guy, while we're sleeping, starts breaking into our garage.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
He's breaking into the garage. Could it be next? Has anybody's house actually ever been... We hear... That's what we hear inside. We're like, oh, gosh.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Someone's breaking into our garage. So then... My dad comes out midnight in his underwear with a pistol. Yes. And he starts shooting it in the air saying, I'm going to kill you. He's running around saying something like that. I don't know his exact words, but he was running around just like saying, if I see you, I will kill you.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
And then the person takes off running and he starts shooting at the person.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
I knew I inherited it from somewhere because every time I walked to that garage I shouted the exact same thing, but nobody was there, but I was always scared there was To go out to the garage at night by myself keep in mind We live in the country and our garage is not attached to our house. It's like a football field away so
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
I would have to go out to the garage to turn off the light at night every once in a while. And it was dark. 10 p.m., 11 p.m., sometimes pushing midnight. And then I would be terrified. And I would walk around like in a 360 walking outside. And I'd be like, I know you're out here. I know. Okay, I'm going to hurt you if you come out here. I got a gun. Imagine being the burglar, though.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
And then as soon as I would hit the light to turn off the light in the garage and the button to close the garage door, I'd book it back to the house.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Honestly, I'd be scared of a little 10-year-old boy who's like, I got a gun.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
What's crazy is Cash, I remember watching him out the window, and he'd be literally walking in circles. Yeah, and this guy was not a good sibling at all. I'd be like, man, please come out there with me. Please, man.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
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The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Dude, that popcorn smells so bad. And I was like, and every once in a while he would tell me, fine, I'll watch you from the window. And then I'd be like, you know what? That'll do. And I'd go outside. He's like, you got my six. And I'd be like 20 steps out. And I look back, and he is not out the window.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Yeah, he definitely runs back from putting the trash cans out sometimes. I'd be lying if I say we didn't go on a camping trip last summer. When I had to go take a wee, I ran back. It's still sticking on my pants, bro.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
It's terrifying because this guy took me out in the woods in Colorado where there are bears and elk. And you know what the elk make? That does not sound like an elk. It sounds like ghosts are all around you. It's like, oh, come on, hurry up and pee. And Loki did sound like screaming women just all around. It's like, oh! That's what it sounds like. And you're like, oh, God! This is what it sounds.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
And I'm just there with my pants down. Quick! But once you're in that magical little tent, nothing can touch you.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Is that weird? When I was in the tent, I was like, even if a bear comes, he ain't getting through my tent. I always had so much faith in that tent. I had a dream the other night that we went to Montana and went camping.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
See, that's a no-go. You can't do that. If a bear is going to attack, you must be in the tent together.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
So this guy. Everyone says that to the parents. So his buddy's getting killed by the bear. And he stayed in his tent.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
They're really not very good boy scouts because I would never go into bear country without a gun.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
You see, I got into building credit young, which paid off big when I needed approved for loans later. Kickoff is a tool I wish I had back then. It's a credit line just for building credit, not spending. You can sign up in minutes and I love how it reports on-time payments to all three bureaus.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Yeah, I was going to ride a bear and then I was going to kill a bear. And I forgot. I remember we were talking about getting robbed. Oh, yeah. Speaking of getting robbed, my car got robbed one time. Yeah, and guess what they stole? My stuff. They broke into Matt's car and stole my stuff. Shouldn't have left it in an unlocked car, man. And they stole our friend Michael's stuff.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Wait, hold up. So they went in there and was just like, where's the social?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Wait, people actually broke into your home. Wednesdays are dangerous.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
No, no, they broke into your house, though, that you were currently living in.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Okay, wait, wait, wait. Tell the story, seriously. There's mustard everywhere.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
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The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Imagine if I told you that, Mav. I'm going to go to Walmart. I'm going to do something bad. I'm going to go to Walmart. It's going to be bad.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
What? Okay, sorry. Yeah, we should stop doing that. It's definitely not the LOL podcast. Last time we did that, the guy got killed. Okay, I'm going to try to go fast.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Wait, what did he do in the beginning to make the whole town shut down?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
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The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
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The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
He was really playing the role of I am David. He's like, I gotta feed my chickens.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Okay, is no one gonna talk about it? No one's gonna talk about it. Fine. We'll talk. Yes, it is true. I ate 176 grams of protein just in my breakfast.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
That's crazy. This guy literally broke into your house and trying to impersonate your dad. Literally using his razor and everything to try to literally be part of your family.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
And that is why I'm scared of the dark. See, nothing like that ever happened to me. I just didn't like the dark.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
No. Everyone should be scared of the dark. You should be. If you can't see...
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
What? Imagine you come home, he just cooked the chickens for breakfast.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Well, anyways, guys, thank you so much for watching this episode.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
I wasn't going to intercept it. Why were you worried? I'm very good at catching mozzarella sticks.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Everybody stop. You guys hear that? No. This is going to take a very talented person to hear this. No one?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
No. Okay, I'm built different. What is it? What are you talking about? There's a sound. What sound? Nobody knows. Shut up. And the sound goes ow, ow, ow.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Am I crazy or was that said? Hey, am I crazy or can you talk into your mic?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
My protein intake is higher than any gym goer ever unless they're on roids.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Do I get paid for it though? That was a crazy inside joke. You guys want to understand.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
No hat. Editor will be happy now. Well, I mean, honestly, that is an accomplishment.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Anyways, I tried to buy a shirt yesterday because I had a Dick's Sporting Goods gift card. And I went to the store to find out what I wanted to purchase for my Christmas gift that Kate's uncle got me for Christmas. And I go there and I'm like, I think this is the one, Kate. And I go out of the dressing room and she's like... No. I was like, what? Wait, that shirt?
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Wait, you haven't heard the story. I walk out and she's like, no, you're not wearing Adidas.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
I'm not going to. We're in the middle of a podcast. We're not offering you food. Yes. This man throws away his food all the time and won't offer it to anyone. Instead, he lets it rot on the floor. If you'd like it. Yeah, give it to me. Sonic's not good after a long time.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
There's a burger everywhere Can I defend myself on the story gosh was telling before he raged over oh, yes, please do oh
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
That was crazy to throw an open burger at me. I threw it in the freaking thing. Yeah, well, it came out of the thing, so on the throwback, it had to be... Stop!
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
These are my brand new jeans, and if you got mustard on them... All right, well, my new clothes have mustard all over them, so I'll be bad. BRB. I mean, I'm not, like... See... I'm not hiding anything.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Who eats that kind of burger? If you eat burgers with yellow stuff in them, you're just, there's something wrong with you.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
girls can get their license and we're not all dead. It's crazy, man.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Why did you say it like a child? I've been thinking about this one all day. I've asked everyone. Why are you checking it out, Alex? Alex already knows it's such a good one. What is it? Okay. Would you rather have a billion dollars? Okay. Okay. Okay, hurry up.
The LOL Podcast
Our House Was Robbed!
Okay. Yeah, you're really killing it. Would you rather? If you absolutely had to. Okay. No.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
I definitely don't. I go just like this. Can you hold this? Thank you. I'm like this. And Stella goes, and I go.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
What's going on? No, Stella never fights back when she's about to throw up. She's like, oh, Kinsey's going to come get me and take me to a safe spot where I'm not in trouble. Because she gets in trouble if it's on the carpet. So she's just like, please, please take me to where I need to be.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
No, but actually, I didn't tell you this. You were frustrating me this morning.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
Because it was like 3 a.m., and I can't remember exactly what you were saying.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
was it 5 30 oh okay whatever anyways it was early and i go into the bathroom with stella and i'm trying to take care of her and you're like saying something to me through the doorway from the dark bedroom where you sleep on the nice cozy bed and you were like did you clean that up i can't believe she would do that and you're like just you're like you're like oh i'm sure she ate some underwear again didn't she can't and just talking bad about her and i was like shut
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
shut up and so i didn't respond to you that's the same thing i did to kate i was like yeah kate that's why i don't want a dog and i'm just laying in bed like yeah that's what i told you and then i just ignore every single bit of what you were saying so i assume that you just thought i didn't hear you but i heard every single word and then i walk back into the bedroom and you're like yeah it was underwear huh and i was like
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
Me and Mav decided this morning on the way to church that we're going to build a jungle gym upstairs in our house.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
Oh my gosh, I would love that. For me, y'all would make it for me?
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
All over the house? Well, well, wait, wait. We compromised and we said upstairs. I don't care what happens upstairs.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
I don't know. You'd have to ask her. Oh, wait, they put their thumb out? Yeah, they were raiders.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
I don't know. Ask Haley. Well, this is an R in sign language.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
Well, they have to do that because kids will just take advantage of it.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
It's to keep the whole class from just going crazy and everyone's just, I gotta go to the restroom and just go.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
We had a sound meter on the wall in our cafeteria in elementary school and in intermediate school, which is like fourth and fifth grade. And so if like the decibel hit a certain thing, then the meter would turn red and you had to be quiet.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
Thank you. Did you see? I learned to raise my hand growing up. Take my turn. No, but, like, if you only have 10 teachers to 500 students, you have 50 kids in a class.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
You have to have those rules. And also, what would take you maybe 10 minutes to learn, now you're teaching it to 50 kids. It does take a while. It might take you an hour and a half. So, where a, like, homeschool kid might only need three hours a day for school, if you're in school, you probably need, like, seven or eight hours just because there's so many kids to get there.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
I bet Cash, you were that little boy in the shower growing up who sang like all the ingredients on the shampoo bottle.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
Wait, y'all should get the grandpas. So James and then your dad and they'll dress up like babies.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
Look at Cash's chair. A cookie. He's acting like he's riding a bull. I got cookies downstairs. Yeah.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
You put your foot over the drain hole and you didn't have a stopper?
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
When I was little, like four years old, I really, really, really loved Ariel from The Little Mermaid, and I really wanted to be her.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
And when I was little, I had like bleach blonde, like almost white curly hair, and I dyed it red, and my mom bawled her eyes out.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
Like four. My grandma helped me. Oh. How did you get that? Well, I asked my grandma to do it and she was like, okay. And then my mom came to pick me up and she was like, why would you do that? And I was like, look how pretty I am.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
I did that thing one time. I think I was like 13 or 14. I did it with Kool-Aid in the summertime. My mom let me dye the ends of my hair.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
You remember Arthur? DW is his sister and she's an anteater. I thought he was a mouse, but apparently he's an anteater. Yeah. No.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
I really, really, really, really, really want that to be. No, you can do this. I want that cookie as my desk.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
It's my ring. That's pretty. I like your nails. Cool ring. They are pretty. Thank you.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
That was crazy to throw her brand new keys. Keys? Yeah, keys. Oh, they're keys! Yeah, for, uh... Oh!
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
He was looking up baby cocker spaniels to replace honey one day. He wants a dog.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
Listen, try not to step in the red clay so you don't get it in your car.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
Oh, wait. Look at this little compartment here. Oh, yeah. That's nice. Does anybody know? She got a car.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
No! And you just pee like this. No, no. That's not appropriate! That's not what it's for! Okay, put the schlamp in there.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
Several people have told Kate that Honey has gained some weight and so now she's self-conscious.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
She said that's not where it starts. Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
No in Texas you say the text We always did it the first thing in the morning.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
It's kind of like slow and like. What? Hallelujah. Livingston High School.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
It gets better because midway through it's like, school, wait, what the?
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
You were talking about... Mine is long, too. It's just so deep in my brain because in a smaller town, you have everyone in the town is the same mascot and they go to the same high school. A band of English marauders. Yeah, so you learn it from birth till you graduate.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
Marauder. At least you're not the devils. We used to play this team that were the devils. And since we were playing the girls, we played the devilettes.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
Do y'all not do it after every single game? Like, the sports team, whichever sport it is, they line up, and then the fans all do it, and you're, like, facing each other and, like, whatever you're... They might have, but I don't... Oh, I found the Henrietta one, too.
The LOL Podcast
I Bought My Dream Car!
No, just stop. Why do you do this? You're like, let's bring up every single issue in our lives and we'll say it to the world.
The LOL Podcast
Kate Raged and Slapped Kenzie!
You know those, like, tubes that do the fire escapes that people go down? Yeah. If you put one through that hole into that hole?
The LOL Podcast
Kate Raged and Slapped Kenzie!
I'm mad at the splinters. Accidents happen, okay? Accidents happen in bed, and accidents happen out of bed, okay? I wet the bed sometimes. Yeah, big deal. Everybody knows.
The LOL Podcast
Kate Raged and Slapped Kenzie!
I think we should kick both of them off the podcast. It's us three now.
The LOL Podcast
Kate Raged and Slapped Kenzie!
Because y'all acted weird this whole episode and actually, to be quite frank, even the entire day.
The LOL Podcast
Kate Raged and Slapped Kenzie!
Okay, fine. Oh my gosh, you guys have seriously been annoying.
The LOL Podcast
Kate Raged and Slapped Kenzie!
I don't want to move to like freaking Europe. I want to move like locally.
The LOL Podcast
Kate Raged and Slapped Kenzie!
That was a cat fight at like the peak. I mean, I don't think we'll ever see another fight like that again.
The LOL Podcast
Kate Raged and Slapped Kenzie!
I've never seen Kate hit somebody. I've never seen Kate and Kinsey fight.
The LOL Podcast
Kate Raged and Slapped Kenzie!
Welcome back to an episode, guys. Tensions are very high in the left side of the room.
The LOL Podcast
Kate Raged and Slapped Kenzie!
And the estrogen is high on me. I need to take this off. Okay.
The LOL Podcast
Kate Raged and Slapped Kenzie!
You put it in the attic? Yes, I bought a gift to give someone on the episode, but I had to hide it from everyone, so I put it in the attic, okay?
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
We have a special guest coming on today. What?
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Yeah, I never lead it off with that again. You know, I like kindergarten.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I was like, whoa, she's so cute. Okay, and that's enough of the Jason Carr.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I've been got. I thought that was the first time y'all met. Y'all have known each other since pre-K? Yeah, pretty much.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I'm not allowed to have intro videos. You guys ever have like that grandpa that I can't really hear very well? What? Yeah.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Whoa, Harper. All right, we'll take him back. Okay.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
What do you like about Harper? The red hair.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Unfortunately, that one looked effortless. Maverick's looks very effort-er.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
That didn't look like much energy went into it. Yours looks like everything goes into it.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Wait, how old are you, Kenzie? No, not almost, I wouldn't say. You were 25, right? Oh my gosh, you're 10 years older than me? You are a decade older. That is insane.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Think, when you were 10 years old, they literally didn't exist. You couldn't find them anywhere on the planet. You could look. They're not there.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
A few years later, though, they're at the playground. Me? Oh, I'm a young one. He's 19. Yeah.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
What? You know what's crazy though? Listen, she's actually very good at talking to her like her 80 something year old grandpa. I'm good at it too. I can't talk to him. I'm like, I'm like, oh, so what'd you have for breakfast this morning, grandpa? And he's like, he just looks at Kate, he's like, what? And Kate's like, what did you have? He said breakfast. What did you have? And I'm like, oh, oh.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
No, he's not. No, I'm 21. About to be 22. I figured out everything after 21 is just sad. Maybe 25 because then I get a discount on car rentals.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Yeah, your birthday that's coming up is going to be your last good one.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I don't know. Do your YouTube voice. My YouTube voice? Come on, man. I'll do mine. If you're doing a YouTube intro or any sort of YouTube thing, you need to wait until you have a little bit of compression on your voice.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
You should really just make it talk to me Why did it sound like this is the first time you hear in his story Harper?
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
But you just pretend like they're not there, and you just talk.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
You have to just compress your voice a little bit before you start. Compress? Not too much, or you sound really bad. All right, everybody give their best YouTube intro. Wait, Mav, you go last. No, you go last, though. You go last. Kenzie, you start.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
We ask every guest this question. Yeah, also remember, Kate thought her house was ghetto because it only had hardwood floors. No. Only had carpet. No, this is fire.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Matt, think about it now. If he literally pointed out your wood wall before the hole in the wall on the ghetto top. It looks pretty random. Why would we put that there? Yeah, what is that for? What's behind it? Another wall.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
It's a very serious question, Kinsey. Yeah, you know, I mean, he's gonna date Harper, so, you know.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
No, we're going to go around. Kenzie to Mav. Come on.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
All right, Harper, what is the definition of loyalty?
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Really, that's it. Relevant. All the thought that went into it. More like a few minutes.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Just like a tutorial, like on a general YouTube video, the intros.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Yeah. What? Me too, man. Me too, trust. Wait, what do they say? No, I'm with you. Just pretend they're not there. It's what I do too.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Oh, so you can run home. This would be great. No one's got to give him a ride.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Me? That's pretty impressive to be on the varsity high jump team.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I'm not trying to have a guy who's shorter or taller
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Y'all good with that? Yeah, man. Low key. Yeah, you can leave, Harper. Can you grab my phone on the way, please?
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I wouldn't do it. We pay two vanilla wafers a week. Trust me, dude. The co-workers are horrible. It's not worth it.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Dude, all three of you guys could, like, that couch right now could just be one of those video games where there's, like, three different characters going down the road.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
He's scared of getting rizzed up by cash. It is an effect I have on everyone.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Why are you nervous? Is there something in that bag? I'm kind of nervous that you're going through her makeup bag.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Dude, I mean, Matt had some attitude with that one. You might be sitting too close to Harper. You're getting that teenage attitude.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Today we are going to be testing to see if a one size fits all is actually true. So we have size 0 to size 10, being Kate, and we are going to test size all these pants. Kate, can you fit in these pants?
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
What are you most passionate about in life?
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Well, that was a real question. I have a real one too right here. It's actually the number one on Google.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
It's the number one on Google. Just like we're about to be the number one on Spotify. Go follow us on Spotify.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Yeah, we're following on the charts. So we really need you to follow us now more than ever. Sorry, what were you saying, Kenzie? Thank you.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Sorry, man, I got three of them on there before you caught me doing it.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
That was the last thing I was trying to stack.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
She's going to keep asking it until you say no.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Does Harper care more than everybody else cares? I think so. I have some good questions.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I got an ad on Google. Okay, here we go. What were you like in high school?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Because I want to break up with you if I'm done. What's up, guys? Welcome back to another episode of the very funny podcast. Funniest podcast in the world, some people may say.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
We're in high school. We're in high school. Oh, sorry. Let me see.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
You guys have a guitar? Where's our guitar? I can play it right now. It's probably not tuned, though. Oh, it's not tuned, though. It might be Chase has been playing it.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Chase has been playing it? That's crazy. You play guitar, Chase? Chase is not here. Okay, off camera, do I actually smell bad?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
If one more person thinks I'm Chase around here, man, everyone I meet in life is like, oh, you're Chase. No, my name is not Chase. It's Gooch.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I don't know about that. It's called Guitar Tune-A.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I don't know. I don't, I'm not in girl sizes. I have small, medium, large, and like size 28, 29. And then I ask a girl, they're like, I'm size four. I'm like, what does that mean?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Can you help me, bro? No, I got you, I got you. Would you be willing to stay at home with the kids while I work? Not me, but like as in for her.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Hey, guys. That's getting put in the intro. That's rude. What are three things on y'all's bucket list?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Wait, why didn't you give it to me? I was closer to you. That was ridiculous.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I mean, these are climb Mount Everest. I mean, that's crazy. Dude, you might die. That's all TikTok. Learn how to break chains. How's that going? I want to hear the ones that you're not allowed to say out loud. Wait, wait, wait. Let me see. Let me see.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Learn how to break dance. Me too, man. Be famous.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I don't believe that one. That's not checked off. That seems a little weird. Read on the top of the massive pyramids in Egypt. Honestly, I'll give you $100 if you can do that.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Take a random person's crutches while they're walking and run away with them and never come back.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
We're bonding and everything he's broken moment like home he's broken he's gonna speak Arabic What what we're not on that right now, and we're back I
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Yeah, but everything's okay. Everything is fine.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
No, everything's not fine because I don't have a bucket list. I need to make one of those. Make one.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
You know what? My parents like Kate more than me, too. I don't really get that. This is true. Are you two married? No. Siblings.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
And then he followed up with asking if me and you were married. I mean, what?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
We need a camera on Alex. I know. We have like a thousand cameras in this house. We need to get one on Alex, bro. Oh, do you have a diary or journal?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Oh, yeah. How about you guys give each of you each other. We asked him what he loves about you.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I'm going to teach you something. Harper, you go first.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Don't fight fire with fire. Actually, that does work now. No, it does. But we're not going to do that. It technically does.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Should I be saying that? That was really good. Except the first half, there was a lot of words said, but I didn't understand any of them.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
You're supposed to give him something nice.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
If it's not nice, I'm going to hang you upside down by your ankles.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I don't think she even knows we're on the podcast right now.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I mean, technically, yeah, that was my bad.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
All right, well, Jason, now you say something nice about Harper.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Baguette? She always had a baguette. Wait, what's a baguette?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Hey, silence was better than what you said, okay?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
That was admirable. I like that. I like lying. Harper, you say something now.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Say something nice, Harper. I like how he, like... Are those nerds? Yes.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I like how he... Did you just eat a Skittle with the nerd? It was stuck together. What are you going to do? Yeah, that was... You're not supposed to do that. That's okay.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Sorry, don't get jealous. We could always settle this with a game of memory match. No, we can't.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
What's a memory match? Don't ask. You don't know what a memory match is? I just know I'm very good at it. Since I was a child prodigy. Every game he's lost. You don't know, you seriously never played memory match? No. I mean, how young are these kids, man?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
And then wait, what was the rest after that? What'd you say?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Everyone I ask to play memory match with me, they're like, what's that? And then I show them the game, they're like, oh yeah, that game. What is everyone called that game?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Like, you come back from prison, and you're like, yeah, I got some good friends in there.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Dude, I'd mess with some people in prison. I feel like I'd be homies with a lot of them.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
No, not really. People don't like us at school. They met at school. Who did you kiss yesterday evening?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
No, you were not, Harper. She was. I saw it. There was a weapon behind the camera. What do you call this right now, then?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
You said a lot of friends. You know, I would let you be my friend, but you're 15, so that doesn't really make any sense.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Harper has never played Super Smash Bros. with us. You know, we've asked her. We all go out to dinner after a podcast. We're like, you want to come with everyone? If we went out to dinner or pickleball, you'd come. Of course, bro. I love pickleball. Y'all play pickleball? Yeah, she would never come.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
No, Harper, honestly, she would hang out with us more. She's got a lot of school. And then when she died at school, she got work. Thank you.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Well anyways We're gonna go play pickleball now. We'll see you guys next time. We are out of time.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
No, not you. Any final words for Jason Carter? We're breaking up. We're done. No, no, no, you can.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Whoa, I'm very good at memorization. If it's like, oh, say like four sentences, it's like, okay. Y'all obviously haven't seen me play Memory Match. I have a good memory. I have a great memory. You just take a long time. Because I perfect it, Mav. It's a great intro. You can't remember your intro. He also does today. Today.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Today. Wait. Okay. Let me do it one more time. You know what's funny? I saw a video of Mr. Beast doing that on TikTok yesterday. He was like, we're going to be blowing up. We're going to be blowing up.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
today we're gonna be it's so funny bro it's just a crew of like a hundred people pointing cameras at and everyone's dead silent it's so like real though oh do you do it i really want to do it like i feel like i'm a circus freak right now you're not gonna have like the music behind you and everything making it sound way less hype not put somebody put a youtube intro behind me all right we're gonna be doing
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
You know what? Because when Maverick does the intro, this is what we get. Have we started?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Wait, the originals? Yes. I watched a movie made past the 2000s.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Oh, the fighting in all the Karate Kids and everything is bad.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
I'm sorry, did you hear me? I watched a movie made in 1984.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
what congratulations i don't do that we're watching top gun right now for the first time the new one oh no the old one oh the old one i watched the new one first and then the old one man that was a letdown after watching the new one yeah i made sure she watched the old one first that's pretty good he kept quoting things to me because his name's maverick or whatever and i just didn't understand you know my parents almost they wanted to name me goose and they're like well they were like well
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
well we can't do that so fitting right dude i would honestly i would have been high if my name was goose i would have loved it when he's little and all the people are like talking to their guys yeah And then they decided they couldn't do that, so they almost named me Iceman. What? What was it? Iceman. No. Yeah, it is. They were not going to name you Iceman. Who were they going to name me?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
That's literally my every time. You know, I don't know if Kate or Kenzie's ever started an episode. Let's hear it, guys. Give us a start.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Oh, no, Kenzie. No, his name was Goose. And then he said, hey, you got that the other day, right? When I said that? Okay, I wasn't sure because it's like an old movie.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
It's not. No, no. His name is not Goose. He said, hi, my name is Maverick. So he said, my name is Goose. And all of us laughed.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
No one's name is Goose. I promise you. But if your name is Goose, I'm Jelly.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Yes, I am. I would have, honestly, Cash Goose Baker would have went hard.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Oh. Goose Goose. Kate, we could name our son Goose.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Okay, Harper, cut to the chase. Are you guys dating? Are you holding hands? No.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Wow, me too. You always want to go home. Tell me how I want to go home, but I am home, and I still want to go home.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Dude, she did. We were watching the Karate Kid last night. She goes, this might be my new favorite movie ever. It was so good. Have you seen the new Karate Kid?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
No, probably not. Actually, it might be in the movie. If it's in the movie, that's hard.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Kenji. What? No. How do I know she doesn't like the part of the movie where they're like, strike hard first, no mercy. I don't want to be part of that. No, no, do Mav. No.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
No, no, do Mav, do Mav. No, I'm okay. Come be my karate partner.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
All right, let's see it. So if you get knocked down, what's important? To get back up again. Yes. That's it.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Do the move. Okay. I knew she was going to try to strike first.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Well, now that Kate's done with karate, I have some big news.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Yeah, nobody mess with Kate. Anyways, I have some big news. We have a special guest coming on today.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
They're like are you from the lol podcast? I'm like it's lol first of all I think it's just like a so cute. I was like it's way to say It's like saying lammo dude me maverick talking about the other day though every time kate talks in a video It's so loud, but so quiet and so like it like when we're doing a club video or something. It's like Okay, guys, we're going to be doing this now.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Why did y'all invite my boyfriend on the podcast?
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
You know, Harper's talked about a lot of guys. Yeah, you can sit there. She's talked about a lot of guys on this podcast. Never you, though.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Someone called me Jason Carb. Jason Carb? I'm so sorry. Wait, on here called you Jason Carb? What? I mean, that would probably be him then. Carb? Wait, someone on our podcast called you Jason Carb once? I just saw it on a clip. I don't know. Well, that's crazy.
The LOL Podcast
Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Okay, Harper, cut to the chase. Are you guys dating? Yeah.
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Harper’s BOYFRIEND Comes On The Podcast!
Y'all are making it more awkward than it really needed to be. Oh my gosh, wait!