Amanda Lehan-Canto
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
No, I'm fine. No, I don't care.
No, I don't care because I'm on this side. I'm on the winning side.
Do you crush trivia night? Do you even go?
I feel like Ian would do really well at trivia night.
Assemble your team.
Okay. What is in seconds, minutes, seasons, and centuries, but not in decades, years, or days? Clock? No.
What is in seconds, minutes, seasons, and centuries, but not in decades, years, or days?
What is in seconds, minutes, seasons, and centuries, but not in decades, years, or days?
Wait, I would love to just play, just, you know, cold turkey, just play, and you guys just drop lore.
Seconds, minutes.
Seconds, minutes, seasons, and centuries. Do you guys want to know the answer?
You're getting warmer. E? No.
N. What is in seconds?
You clocked a letter immediately. That's incredible. Okay, well done. You win money. Thank you. Money! Okay, this one's interesting. A man went out for a walk and it started to rain. He didn't have a hat, an umbrella, a hoodie, or anything else he could use to cover his head. But no hair on his head got wet. How is this possible?
That's the answer. That's crazy that you guys got that.
A rooster that was sitting on the roof of a barn. Rooster's can't lay eggs. Yeah.
That's so funny. Yeah. These are supposed to be tricky. You guys must have done the tricky game. Okay.
Stop. Okay. It belongs to you, but your friends use it more. What is it?
Okay. Why do I have the weird ones? A cowgirl rode into town on Friday. She stayed for three nights and rode out on Friday. How is this possible?
That's awesome. Yeah, totally. For sure. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. See me?
I'm telling you, I think that I would actually be a gamer, but I won't let myself go there because when I get into a game, I get really addicted, and then I want to do it forever. And I'm like, I can't.
Whoa. Okay. Okay. That's awesome.
I'm also on new meds.
Like I'm really glad to hear that
Very vulnerable.
Okay. Mine all have like, girl did this, blah, blah, blah.
Exactly. Okay. A railroad crossing without any cars. Can you spell that without any R's?
A railroad crossing.
Without any cars. Intersection. Intersection. How does this fucking make sense? Wait, this doesn't make sense.
This doesn't make any sense.
This actually doesn't make any sense. It's that.
Enough. Five. This is disgusting, and I'm sorry.
I'm going to do two more, and then I'll hand it to you. Please do. Good, sir. Thank you. Animal riddles. Finally. What kind of dog never bites? Hot dog. Correct. What do you call a French bulldog on a summer day?
I don't know. I don't know.
Probably doesn't have a mouth, can't bite. That's so true. Spork. What do you call a French bulldog on a summer day?
Saddle up.
Pretty sick. In fact, I think the animal riddles we should probably just skip.
Do you want to choose? Yeah. You can scroll down to food riddles.
It's going to be like one.
Escape room.
Fuck. No doors or windows?
Totally, yeah.
Is that really the answer?
What kind of room has no doors and no windows?
A butt room? That's what I heard.
Wait, he's on the right track with broom?
That's not fair.
I don't like doing this.
That's not the answer.
No, like, that's not the answer. You just said a fact. How can what?
I know there's something easy here.
We're not doing well.
We're screwed.
I felt like when I was guessing with Damien, I felt like this like wind of confidence. And now I'm feeling this way.
I hate this.
This is the kind of stuff that makes me feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience.
Yeah. No, seriously. Oh, no.
You know?
Thank you. No, thank you.
Gone. I'm done. Teach. What are four and five?
We're going to move on to Mars.
What are four and five? It's something about the way that they're set. Two's a company, three's a crowd.
Stop. Does his nose grow?
Yeah, I said numbers.
Give me animals all day, baby.
It's animals. That's incredible. Well done.
Literally. Nice.
You think? After that? After just two? I feel ready now. Let's do it. Move on to adult riddles.
Oh, thank God. Workers' comp. Taxes.
Do you guys remember having that in your house? I remember seeing it in the checkout line. The little, like, magazine thing. My parents used to have it. It had, like, channels. It's still around. It had, like, TV channels.
Bitch! You look good today. That's amazing.
Little books. Crossword puzzles. There were always, like, soap operas on them. Yeah. On the cover.
I don't know.
I think it's something in the ether.
Has no need for it.
That's crazy.
Whoa, so fast.
Sad stuff.
You're like, I'm doing well. I'm on new meds.
Wait, if you're a vampire, this doesn't apply. What we do in the shadows, they sleep in their coffins constantly.
Blood porn.
A match, a kerosene lamp, a fireplace, and what else?
You can't light a match on nothing. You'd obviously light the match, so you can light them all. The match. Oh, that's it? Wow, easy, simple. Oh, well, yeah. See? This is like the X marks the spot one. Yeah, because I was like... Do simp.
I didn't give myself a chance to think about it.
So if your cousin has a kid, what are you to the kid?
That's what bothers me so much.
So you say full-on once removed? Okay.
That's awesome.
That helps. Yeah. Nice.
Can I be honest? Yeah, what's up? I'm really bad at riddles. Good. I read a lot of fantasy books and all the heroes have to face all these riddles. And I was like, I should study this just in case when I go on my hero's journey and I get faced with riddles. Yeah. And to save my mate, my love, I have to solve the riddle.
What did you think we were just doing?
Whoa, sick! As a YouTube channel, guys, we're going to read some of the most viral YouTube riddles ever.
What? That's just obvious.
Oh, great. Another thing that I don't know.
That's a really good accent.
Really good.
Oh, right. That's a hole. I was thinking like a hole that you dig into the ground. And there's a bottom to it. But that's not a hole. Is it?
Okay, cool. I'll go after you. I'll wait to, I'll go to the hard ones, the real hard ones for you guys.
Save the hard ones.
I was totally going to guess that.
Donk. Donk. I love maps. I have a huge map in my house. It's awesome. And I point to it and I go, going there. I'm kidding.
And Derek's like, did you throw the dart?
I can't wait to play it.
What gets shorter as it gets older?
I didn't even have a second. A candle.
Where are you tossing that?
No, that will make me feel like a mother. And that will make you be like my little kid.
I want glasses of wine.
Now you sound like a mom. And I crush the glass with my bare hands.
Just a couple of guys.
That was so chosen. Oh, there it went in. Oh, great.
He stole.
Get me a bottle of fucking cab.
So then at the end of the episode I just have glass in my hand and there's so much glass it we have so many important arteries so many important nerves Do you want this?
Although that does actually make sense. I
You can get it. Huh? But you have your virginity.
What is taken before you can get it?
I feel like this was made like. Back of the day.
No. That felt like... Yeah, was it right when she said it?
What if I was like, oh my God, yeah! I pushed you into a hole.
Listen, I agree that that is a good answer, but it's not the one that is written.
Okay. What's always... I hate you, boys.
It's you two idiots.
What's always on the ground but is never dirty?
No. Whoa. Is this stumping, you guys?
I feel like I'm this woman who's like, you guys are trying to come in this club. And I'm like, okay, but answer this riddle if you're cool.
Do you know why I pulled you over? Dirt, dirt, dirt.
And it follows you around. I'm just going to add that in there. Oh, your shadow.
I would love an evil clone.
Scary. Okay. What gets smaller every time it takes a bath?
Yeah, that one sucked.
Update. Where can you finish a book without finishing a sentence?
Where can you finish a book without finishing a sentence?
Yes. That's good. Whoa. That is good. Okay, I'll read one more and pass it on. Okay.
See, I went really dark, and I thought you meant lost a friend. Like the fray.
He had such a sweet job. Love it. Trevor's my hero.
You guys okay?
All right, I'll let Trevor know that you guys miss him. Here's another one. A man runs away from home. He turns left and keeps running. After some time, he turns left again and keeps running. He later turns left once more and runs back home. Who was the man in the mask? What? Exactly. Someone made this up.
The man runs away from home. He turns left and keeps running. After some time, he turns left again and keeps running. He later turns left once. Oh, my God.
Totally. Okay, last one, because I think someone definitely just made this up and is going through something. My girlfriend's favorite is, what do you want for dinner?
You know what? What's the answer?
That's very specific. Yeah. It's I don't know whatever you want. Yeah. Ha ha ha.
That's awesome. It's like a whole game.
No, seriously, I don't think that's a riddle. I think that's someone just having a hard time.
Angel? Wait.
I get out of a window and I leave a grieving wife, stick me in a door and I save someone's life.
Because there's like this whole thing that when someone dies, you open the window and let their spirit out. That's not this.
Because I don't think a spirit coming in the door would help. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Like an opening?
They're all shaking their head like, yeah, that's obvious.
What? Putting a penis through a door does not save anyone's life.
Through a mail slot?
Sounds painful.
Oh my God, another Wicked reference. And I enjoy you. I haven't seen it. Dancing through life.
Yeah, because it's like a whole labyrinth.
Basically what I kind of also said. Thanks.
I feel like he's probably singing the fray.
That's so cool.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we knew that.
Oh, my God. He's fighting. Does he know how to fight?
So Trevor's singing for Frey and then training.
This is so good housekeeping. Oh, no. Good housekeeping. I love it. If you guys don't know what good housekeeping is, it was before the Martha Stewart living, and it was in everyone's home for a while. Or not everyone's.
Get on their knees.
A man only gets on his knees once for his wife, but women?
Hello, I'm Amanda. We have a very special guest with us today, Damien Haas.
Yeah. I don't think men get mammograms once.
Is it medical?
Oh, I would hate that.
I don't get it.
Sweet. This is awesome. It's so cringy. This is so good. It's pretty real. Women reading this magazine like back in the day, they're like, oh my. Oh, ow. I'll have to start using that. Ow.
Doesn't matter.
Bad housekeeping from that one.
Why do I feel like I'm transported back to like nostalgic times right now? I feel like we're a bunch of kids who found our mom's magazine and we're like, oh my God.
Yeah, and I got worried. I was like, wait a second.
Transported.
Didn't Highlights have like, didn't they have like their own comic books or like drawings? Goofus and Gallant. Oh, yeah. Okay, okay, okay.
How do you remember that?
Guys, sound off in the comments if you guys also had Highlights.
Was that a subscription?
Because I thought people were going to get hurt. I was like, lions.
What two keys can't open any door? Chastity belt key.
Well, whatever. She's working.
I picture a woman kind of like Sex and the City style, but she's like in like a home with like crochet everywhere. And she's just like, I'm going to start the riddles for good housekeeping. And she's writing all of these and she's like. Dying laughing.
And her name is like Margaret or her friends call her Mark.
Her real name is Vivian and she's a sex goddess.
I'll go Marge. Marge. Marge, the housekeeping goddess. The guy comes home rich as her husband. How's it going, Vivian? Call me Marge. I'm writing.
What kind of fruit must have a large wedding ceremony with a lot of guests?
That's actually really good. You're way too clever for good housekeeping.
Huh? Yeah, huh?
I love it. I love this. What kind of fruit loves to get crazy? Honeydews. It's in all caps. It's like, what do you do?
Bananas. Oh, my God. This is awesome.
What fruit never cheers up?
A melon. My god, I where am I? From like ship captains like you would sail like a blue flag if your captain had passed so you're feeling That's so Ocean? That's not the time you were on the sea, bud.
You guys went on a boat trip telling each other riddles, and you were throwing up?
Oh, bummer.
That sucks.
What fruit is never alone? Is alone a key word? What do you mean? Never mind.
Orange, because it has skin.
It's a pear. It's a pear. It's a pear because they always come in pears. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what this body is. I don't know where I am. This is the best day I've had in a month.
I love it. I love it. Because it had Lyme disease. Oh, that's real. And they won't discuss that in Good Housekeeping now. And they won't talk about that. That's a different magazine.
Confetti cake.
Our team went crazy. They were like, you guys, people are showing Smoshmouth to animals and we said we have to bring it on the pod right now.
Confetti cake.
Oh, do you want to guess it since you don't? You didn't get it right? He knows it. Oh, fuck. What kind of food is fun at parties? It could be anything.
It's a whole branch.
Tomato. What? You guys are sick.
I forgot that one. I blacked that out. Fungi. Oh, can I tell you something? The bar that I worked at for eight years, we had a pizza called the Fungi and it had mushrooms on it and I didn't get it.
All these women are experiencing black mold right now.
I was like, did you go on this earlier? What is the wealthiest nut?
I don't agree with the answer, though. Your husband's nut, because you married into wealth. He nutted, now you're rich.
Okay. What is the healthiest nut? Chestnut.
Hold on. I like that. Macadamia nut. Why?
Because they're rich in flavor. I like chestnut. What is the richest nut?
Wealthy and rich are totally different. I know. Rich is quick. Wealthy is old.
Okay, what's the wealthiest nut?
Thank you.
Wow. I will say the good housekeeping riddles were my favorite.
One of them doesn't care.
I thought my answer to that was actually better.
Okay, I don't have a riddle, but I do have a joke that I was going to put on there, and I'm going to tell you right now.
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek?
Butt cheeks don't fart.
No, do it.
If we stick together, we can stop this shit.
I'm gutted, honestly. I'm gutted. We need to end on something sweet.
Classic. I think that
You just pitched an awesome horror movie. And the day has just begun. Don't tell anybody. Leave it in.
Because seven ain't nine.
Whoa! Wait, a surprise in a riddle? And I love that.
And people were like, oh my god, you're the funniest person in Taintop.
I will say riddles started off rough for me, but then it got really fun. Oh, yeah. So thanks, guys. That's how it goes. For having me over.
Yeah, put us together. Mystery squad. Yeah, we'll go to trivia night.
All right.
Thanks, Damien.
Let's do it.
Okay. Pinocchio. All right. All right. Bye. Bye.
So they're going to find us.
See, you're going too hard.
You are out of your mind. Have you ever dealt with monkeys? Are you worried about a big-ass chimp? No, not apes. No, no, no. Monkeys love taking electronics. They love it.
Yeah. Is this Wizard of Oz? Yeah. Okay, I know you have a crush on her, but anyways. So listen.
No. Don't! People are going to think that's her real name.
No, monkeys take electronics and, like, bang them against trees.
It's selfies.
Like a Capuchin monkey?
And I request that it's in the ocean and not in an aquarium. You know what?
Is outrageous. And I will protect our fans because what you're asking is outrageous, but also I'd love to see it.
They have to be alive and well. Guys, don't scare any animals to show them Smosh Mouth. Don't listen to these guys, okay? I got your back.
What a way to transition.
I'm not going to get any of these.
One. February. What?
I didn't ask for school facts. I want riddles. I want fun. Here's a riddle.
No, totally. That's awesome. February 1.
Why are you doing this to me? Why? This is not a riddle.
Oh, because there's a riddle in it? Because February has 28 days.
Wait, what did you say? What's the question?
This is why I hate riddles. I actually, it's not that I'm not good at them. I actually despise them. And I requested that we never did this episode and they forced it on me.
We love learning about it. We're like, oh my God, what? Who is this?
Did you guys just do this to fucking humiliate me? Are you guys here to just?
Are you guys here just to get me? I can't wait till I have the iPad.
So here's what happens to my brain. It goes, you don't know the answer. And then it shuts completely down. So it's confidence.
Wrong. There you go! If I didn't get that right, I would walk out of here. Get in my car and drive fast. Drive real fast.
What's full of holes and still holds water?
Thank you.
No, totally.
You knew it, but you acted like you did it.
No, that's great. Do you guys do this for fun? Do you guys keep doing this?
Wait, light. Nah, you got it. I'm staying. Strapping in. Here we go.
Do you practice? Do you practice?
You and Shane text?
Yeah, I did.
There you go.
Rain. There you go. I know how rain works. Yeah.
Oh, my God, it does. He's not looking well.
A thermometer. It moves. Wait, what goes up and down but never moves?
Are you serious?
What goes up and down?
No, we don't.
What goes up and down but doesn't move? Can you give us a hint? Oh, a seesaw.
Wait, wait, wait. What goes up and down but never moves? Your anger. Your emotions.
You're not going to say anything?
We actually refuse that answer.
Exactly. You could, but it would be really hard to watch.
It would hurt so much.
Because you're sleeping? If you're a sleep talker, of course you can.
Yeah, from that one.
I want the power.
Yeah, I'm going to get tricky.
Could you imagine?
Okay. What can run but never walks? Water. Has a mouth but never talks?
Yeah, it's a river. I had like a whole other paragraph.
How did I miss any Survivor conversation?
If it's Jeff, is it Jeff?
I thought one of you guys... Was the host of Survivor... Did he have nudes? I'm not going to say his name anymore.
uh dude i gotta say man's is packing okay after all that that's what you said here's the thing i know it's obvious he's been the host for like 46 seasons what do you mean you know because he's just like he's got this confidence i think i don't know how tall he is he's got he's got what and it doesn't matter truly it doesn't matter but like i don't know how tall he is
But he's got this confidence that I'm like, oh yeah, he's definitely back in heat.
Wow, Jeff. Was he on the island? Do you know where he was?
It was probably the room that they kept him in when he was hosting.
I wish that was one of my words.
I think they ran out of a budget because they don't do that as much anymore. They also don't, they used to bring whoever, they'd be like, okay, and the final vote of the winner of Survivor, and we'll see you back at the studios. And they used to do that. And I kind of didn't like it. Jeff Probst, the guy with the big hog.
And they would bring it back to CBS Studios. But now they don't do that. They do it right there in Fiji.
That's what I think. And it's so great.
I am a Survivor fanatic.
I think I've missed like the first like from like 7 to like 12 because... I watched the first one, or the second one, or... The early ones are tough. Yeah. Because, like, any woman trying to win is just freaking... They're like, ah, she's a bitch. She can't win money. Have they always had him on the show? It's always been Jeff. He's never been replaced.
I think he's going to live forever.
I think he drank some water in a crazy tree.
He's got some work done. I'm fine. He talks about it.
Survivor is so good. What are you guys doing?
The few people on Traders right now are Survivor. I think it's gotten way better. It's more like... It's better with the times. I don't think it's gotten the best it ever could be, but it's better with the times. I feel like it's more concise, whereas the earlier ones were much more about camp life and the dynamics. Now it's missions and strategy and who's voting out who, and it's more game-like.
They're not as starving as I feel like they should be. They're definitely hungry. But I feel like those ones were like passing out.
And they took that away. They had old things that were weird. They had like a mirror at the end where people would look and go, whoa, I've lost so much weight. They took a lot of that stuff away. And like he used to say, I really know a lot. He used to say like, come on in, guys. But now he says, come on in or get in here, whatever the fuck he says.
Jeff. Whenever I say he, I'm only talking about Jeff. Everyone else is nameless. Jeff who? No. I've already said it.
Okay, here are my secret words. Scotland, top hat, sunrise, slippery slope, ceviche,
Wait, do you get points every time you say it? Yeah. This blows. You're a piece of shit. Moving on. You suck so much. I hate you. I just fell into that.
Now what we're talking about?
Well, I hate you. We're done talking about Survivor.
We're back. Did you guys hear any of that?
Every season gets worse. I saw a preview for this new season about the guy talking about cosmetic surgery. He's like, I usually go for like, you know. butt lifts and all that. So it's going to be challenging for me. I'm like, why are you here?
I heard Salt Lake City is the wildest Housewives.
And how did they get this footage?
I know Vail, Colorado. High altitude.
So I have to kind of bait you into it a little bit, but not too hard.
I feel like Real Housewives is the best. I will say my favorite thing is when Angela loves Real Housewives 2 and she sends me clips, like her favorite clips. So it really helps me just get right to the meat of the funniest part. And they're so funny.
No, you can't be obvious.
I was just going to say this. I now know his vibe while watching Traitors. And my God in Traitors, he's like... I know what's gonna happen. And you're like, what? And he says the wrong name completely.
Did you see his, also his like little outfits. Are you guys caught up?
When he wears, with all the bugs.
And he was partners with whatever and all the bugs were falling on him.
Yeah, something like that.
And he's just, he's just there like. He's so serious, but he looks... He's really funny.
I'm not doing this because that's clearly one of yours, huh?
I actually watched the reunion because I heard all about this. It's a hard watch. Where does he come from? I have no idea. I don't think he's tapped into humans.
And I'm Amanda. And we have a very special guest with us today, Ian Hecox.
It's so true. And when he did, I don't know if you were caught up, but when he did the doll episode on Traders, when he was like, Well, he's a singer.
He's a singer. And what's her name? Caroline or whatever. She was like, oh my God, listen to him sing.
Oh, yeah. I don't even know if hate's the right word. I think they're just like, oh, here comes Tom.
And he was like, teacher, why?
Yeah, no. No, me too. And he's just like, what did I do to deserve this?
I think they have to toy the line. Whereas like, I think some people specifically on traders are actually very grounded. But like, the ones who are grounded but a little, say things so like, out of it that you're just like, Huh? They have to be, like, not tapped in enough.
Okay Sure, it's so it's almost like he's like Nick Cage in a Nick Cage movie.
Yeah, that's all it is so entertaining Alan Cummings is great Castle Like all the missions.
The dog. The missions make me laugh because if you are a true Survivor fan, you're like, oh my God, people are going to crush this crazy mission. And then they're like rowing.
Because... Because they're barely... Yeah, they're just like...
I think you're kind of right, because then, like, even the doll one at the end when they had to figure out the nursery rhymes backwards, I was like, how did they get all five?
How did they get all five?
What I love so much about Traitors is the missions, but also the outfits, right?
It's very dramatic. Very dramatic. And when they all like go to the funeral part at the end, the most recent one where they had to like the traitors face them to. Also, if you haven't seen this, this is a lot of spoilers, but like their outfits are so over the top. I'm like, in my head, I'm like, did they pack all them? Do they prepare for him?
But now I know that maybe one of your secret words is one of the Backstreet Boys.
He probably lives in one of the rooms.
No. They don't sleep there and drink their wine and take the bath?
Wait, so Sam, Brittany's ex, is not taking a bath and rubbing his muscles?
Do you say NSYNC or Backstreet Boys?
Where do you think they are in Scotland? I feel like they're... Where are they?
Because Backstreet Boys is not Chris Kirkpatrick.
I think they have Starbucks in castles.
No, I'm pretty positive they do.
That's what my friend told me. He went to Edinburgh and he was like, you can go into a Starbucks or a McDonald's and it's in a castle.
What did you do? Okay, but also, we're playing Secret Words, but we're also, we're gonna be talking about Reality shows. Yeah. And life and ourselves and what we're interested in.
Was it like an hour flight?
Not here, but like over there. I've taken a train over here.
I've taken it. It's fun.
A good train is from here to San Diego.
Maybe you can go during like sunset.
When do you think they open? Can you go early in the morning?
I want to. When I went to Ireland, my sister went to Scotland. So she met us in Ireland and then her and her girlfriend rented a van and did the Highlands in Scotland. They said it was awesome. We drank Guinness in Ireland. Guinness! Everywhere.
This is why we can't have a quiet moment with you.
Correct. but I'm also not saying, you bait us too hard.
He was definitely not president then.
Survivor was forever ago.
So you're giving him what he wants.
I think it was Richard Nixon. So anyways,
And guess what? Guess who was on Traitors?
No, he was from Real World. Real World and then The Challenge. I literally saw him on Traitors and I was like, God, this guy looks so familiar. And I looked him up. Original Real World. Because I watched that. And Road Rules.
Hi, Ian. It's been a minute.
Fuck all you guys. And it's like, Boston Rob played it way better. He's like, what an honor to play. As he just annihilated people. Spoiler. Don't spoil. I've spoiled so much. I think we should put at the beginning of this episode that there are spoilers.
He posted on his Instagram, so no. I don't feel guilty. I'm not taking this. I'm not taking this on.
Resident Evil. I am loving what fans are clipping from Resident Evil. It's so ridiculous. It's so funny. We play for so long that you just kind of lose your mind. You literally forget the cameras are there.
Is this a spoiler? They cut the baby.
Yeah, you have to find its body part.
And Lady D and all of her daughters who are bugs.
We got to the dolls. We're on to the next two. The creepy like slug looking guy who looks like he's from the original Dune. I don't know if you saw that. And then the other hot guy.
He's like the only hot guy in the whole thing. He looks like Jerry Garcia.
Oh, that's actually very interesting. You know Ben and Jerry's?
Yeah, I know. Pretty cool.
Speaking of ice cream, I think ice cream gets... Oh, my God.
He's sick. Don't repeat it.
You can go back and watch this episode.
I don't think he would want that.
I don't know if it works like that anymore.
Now there's eight seasons and all over the world.
Yeah. Shane's never done acid.
He's never even been near it.
Or the cops are going to arrest you because he's friends with a cop.
You give off the vibes that your older brother's a cop and your family is part of the school system and your dad's a chancellor or something like that.
That's true, but... Because they know they can get away with it.
He's not from the Midwest.
Hey, this Mountain Dew, I'm getting zooted off it. Hey, babe. Anyways, we watch a lot of TV.
I've baited you guys plenty. And none of you fuckers have taken barely. Like so many times I've baited you guys. And you've said the thing that I didn't want you to say.
No. Those people, very passionate. They're all covered in tattoos. It's incredible.
Here's the deal. I think Ian must have chosen like straight up. Like you have to say it.
No. You guessed one of my words earlier. What was it? What do you think it was? I forget now. I forget.
I am not doing this video.
See, you're, like, good at this game, but then you're not good at this. Yeah.
No, now I'm thinking my words just aren't.
I'm not doing this. I'm not going to repeat it because now I'm feeling paranoid. No.
I don't know. Ian gets away with a lot of shit.
No, and I'm realizing why they're not naturally coming up once you figure them out. Okay.
Who is she again? She's from Real Housewives. She's just from Real Housewives.
No. You're trying to get me to say something.
It's totally what he did because he knows that you're watching it.
It's not? Oh, and now you're fucking with me?
I'm literally playing traitors right now. So if you were on traitors, would you want to be a traitor or a faithful?
You'd be an excellent faithful.
What were you watching?
Well, look at Sam and Ivar. People are... Yeah, yeah. The responses on Ivar are cracking up. She's like, what is he going to do? Just make tea? Like, why is he here?
What? Yeah, he's just like... Right, yeah. Who should I vote for?
And he's like, BFFs with Sam. And Sam's like... Wearing the headband that you were back in soccer.
So that's how you can win.
I think they... I think they genuinely enjoy him. I hate him, but I think they enjoy him.
Was that the beginning of Survivor?
And he gets so intense when he thinks he has something. He's like... Yeah.
I think that you would be a good traitor because I think if you were a faithful, the traitors would be like, okay, this guy's going to know what's going on.
I think as a female, I think this season is a little bit misogynistic, shall I say, because they keep getting rid of all the freaking women. And they're like, I don't know. She seems like kind of a bitch. So I think that she's a traitor.
You said a lot of curses while you were in the coffin. It's like, because she was in a fucking coffin in her new YSL boots. What are we discussing here? Also getting rid of all the housewives. And I love, what's her name? The last housewife who's, oh, I'm giving so much away. Whatever. One of the housewives, when some of their friends go, they're like, no, that's my friend.
When Alan Cummings throws the frame, that's my friend. No, he's dancing on my friend's grave. That's my friend.
You just shot a basketball.
We're not doing sentences. Have you seen... We're not doing sentences.
I think it's A. You think it's A? No, it's B. Yeah, it's B. It's camera B and A is for all of us.
Genuinely, I thought it was from a cartoon.
Um, I can't believe I missed that. Hmm.
Keep going? Sorry, keep going?
Anytime a teleprompter goes out, people literally lose their mind. They're like,
Yeah, but it sounds like he didn't really know what was going on with the game.
I'm not going to say a president's name.
I'm not going to say a president's name.
What I will ask is what exactly was Tom Sandoval wearing when the bugs landed on him?
You almost freaking said it and I was like, oh no, I chose one word that would only fit in one scenario. That's kind of all my words.
Oh, he said something.
You got owned. Boom goes the dynamite, baby. You probably just said it now, too. Dynamite, dynamite, dynamite. It's not that. Is it? He's not going to say. I don't want him back.
So we bring this whole table.
The swan was literally plastic surgery. And then they come out in gowns in like a castle to a big mirror and they go, oh my God, they don't know any of the surgery that they're getting done.
We bring everyone in this room. We go on a train.
No, I agree. So we'll go to, like, Anderson Valley. Farther. Farther up.
Yeah. We could go to Los Olivos.
We'll go. Yeah. We'll go to Los Salivos.
I think I, like, order sometimes different things. Like, I try out different things.
I think I could beat Angela.
There's so many different whites and oranges and rosés and reds and chilled reds. They're from so many different regions. We can't just say red or white.
Ah! That would be really hard. I could try. I could try. I feel like I would know the difference between a Bordeaux French wine and like a chili. Like a South America.
I don't know. I mean, my mom and dad loved wine and wine tasting and stuff.
What about a Pinot Noir? What about a Syrah?
Syrah is my favorite. You've tried Syrah. I've ordered you Syrah. Okay. I've been like, try this. Because he has, what do you say you have?
Yeah, he has grave mouth.
It's the boldest. It's very.
It's the driest. It's dry, but it's like, to me, it's like. like spice. It's like blackberry and like cherry and leather. Lots of like leather. Tobacco.
I love Syrah. But it's not like you can just have it all the time. You shouldn't have it before a meal.
Someone just fell out of their seat. Someone fell out of their seat, hit their head, and crawled out of this room.
Yeah, me too. I think it would just be really fun. Because then again, everyone's palate is different. So you might taste different things. But my whole honeymoon was us wine tasting up in Northern California. Oh, fun. Yeah, it was so fun. Where in Northern California? We did Sonoma for a little bit. But we mainly did Anderson Valley, St. Helena. That area is so good. More inland. Yeah.
It's crazy. I'm listening to this thing on Wondery about the craze of White Zinfandel. Oh. Like the craze Barringer made White, or Sutterholm started White Zinfandel by mistake. It was actually by mistake. And it made Sutterholm blow up. And then there was a huge like White Zinfandel. Crazy. Yeah. thing that happened where people are like, Oh my God, a white Zen.
And then it was in a bunch of movies.
No, but apparently they ruined Merlot and sideways anyways. Um, but there's like a whole murder behind it. I'm only on episode one.
It's called blood vines on Wondery. Clever. Shout out to Wondery. My favorite. Okay. Anyways, wine is awesome. We shall go.
Do you imagine me and Angela just talking about sleepovers or whatever, and you're like, never mind.
Yeah. I'll just play Civ. Don't even talk about Civ.
My husband just told me that he's, like, near retiring Civ. He's going to become immortal or some shit.
Oh, I think he's playing the newest one. But I'm excited for retirement. I think it'll be good for us.
He was like, when I become immortal, I will retire. And I was like, that's awesome.
I don't even want to get into it.
I really don't. I'll talk to my therapist about it.
Yeah, I was going to say. Not a mortal level.
No. I'm like, Civ? How's Civ doing? Civ is another person in our life.
Dota. Dota's not as bad, but Civ.
It looks like a fucking awesome game.
I think he's playing 6. I think he's probably playing 6.
Can I try one more thing, you guys? Yeah.
No, it's not. What did you eat this weekend?
What did you eat on Valentine's Day?
What was like the second course?
Remember them walking down the hill walking, Like all at once. They all walked down the hill at once.
Top hat. Top hat. I'm pretty sure he was wearing a top hat.
Oh, I should have written bowler cap.
It was someone wearing a top hat because one of them mentioned it. They were like, oh my god, and his little hat.
But again, worst word.
I was going to, and then life happened.
That's why I wrote it specifically for this moment, which was I cornered myself.
He told me about it, and I was like, oh, I'll just talk to Ian about what he ate.
Okay, you said it like five times. You never said it. You said something else.
Scotland was one of my words.
No, I genuinely meant like love is blind. I was going to be like, oh, do you think that they started.
This one you guys would never guess, but Selina and I came up with it together. Maybe I just did. Slippery Slope. Slippery Slope.
Why? And I was like, I've never heard them say out of pocket.
And you guys never say Slippery Slope. I do.
I said it a hundred times.
I said it a hundred times. Was it Tribal Council?
That's why I didn't say a president name.
And it was run by that famous... Jillian Michaels? Jillian Michaels.
And I said no. And I would have said I barely know memes.
Oh, so easy. We said island a hundred times.
Did we say any of them?
Because you said that a lot, and I was like, God damn you, it's Scotland.
It's not. Actually, I was just thinking in my head. I was like, why didn't I do something like Jillian Michaels?
Because it's not my favorite. I get that now.
And I would have talked about it happily.
And I was like, God, that's such a good word. That's my favorite word to say.
Oh, I think I kind of was like, hmm.
Because he never says it.
Yeah, because I just talked about it last night. H was like, I'm going to retire.
And I probably got last place.
And that's only because Ian said Scotland three times.
I had three, and Shane had 21, and Ian had 33.
Dynamite. Boom, boom, boom.
Always a blast, Ian. You won secret words.
Let us know if we should play this again and if I should choose better words.
We're just in our backyard in the garden. We're just hanging out as friends.
That's too hot to handle. Wait, is it? Remember when they bring out the cone and they're like, dun, dun. There's a cone? What show are you talking about?
Was it on, like, Fox or something?
I would literally love that.
Okay. People are being tempted everywhere. Oh, my God.
Did he pull the man out of the bed?
The Bachelor is the one thing I couldn't watch. It was too cringe for me.
I don't think I told you that, but I love Survivor.
Wait, you mean Survivor has more?
I didn't think that you'd ask. That's so awesome. Yeah, my smile has been looking amazing because I'm using Quip 360, the new oscillating toothbrush from Quip. I love it so much. First of all, it's clean. It's sleek. It's not super loud. So you can brush your teeth and not feel like you have a hammer to your head.
And also what I love about it is there's three different modes and you can do a deep clean or a daily. My favorite is the daily, but sometimes I like to do a little deep clean to get everything back there. And also it has a timer. You know how you brush your teeth and you're like, okay, I'm good. Normally we don't brush our teeth for longer than a minute, but it has a two minute timer in it.
So it vibrates and lets you know when you're done. And I love that.
I mean, Boston Rob has four girls with Amber, who he met on his first season. And it's such a good season.
Well, Love Island feels like it's literally a ripoff from Temptation Island, because they do all those things. Lap dances, they do the house with... Casa?
We're seeing if we can test love. I'm like, no, you're not. The ultimatum when people are like, I'm fully into this experiment. I'm like, yeah, because you got connected with someone who's super, super hot and you're annoyed with your partner. That's the experiment. Like, I kind of. I watched Ultimatum, I was really into it, and then I was like, ugh.
I felt like most of the relationships, the people who came there were kind of in toxic relationships.
But then you're going to get roasted on the internet for a while.
Wow. We should write that. We just gave away all of our ideas right now.
I was probably like a bird, a worm, a bug, and then me.
I think that, like, the... Only like real takeaway, like actionable takeaway from this to me is like when someone's in that state and they're freaked out like that, I feel like if you're their loved one or you're their friend, you can't be like, you can't just like, no, no, no, no. You must, you know.
Like that's not, that sets you off more almost.
Yeah. It's, like, good to voice a reason, someone, of course, right? Yeah. Because, like, paranoia is a thing. But I think, like, just shutting it down completely makes that person even more alert.
You don't want to exacerbate their fear.
Like, let's rule out other things. Let's talk this through. But let's make sure I don't make you feel, I mean, the bad C word, crazy. Right, exactly.
I think that's a huge thing just in culture. It's the shift of when someone is very vulnerable and hurt about something, the space in which they take to come forward and bring it to someone is a delicate-ass spot that you have to be careful with because it gets somebody even more freaked out.
We like trying to solve it.
I thought about that too, but not the same store. You don't buy a TV the same place you're getting Bailey's. I mean, Target.
I'll say, especially with this show, I don't like horror movies or mystery novels and stuff like that as much. I like when things really happened. It gets me always... It's captivating. Yeah.
I was also thinking too, during that second, first update, I was thinking like, Even though, though, if, like, the kid was a Postmates driver and he came over, he saw her in a robe with, like, but even, you wouldn't know that's a new TV. Yeah. Or, like, why isn't the husband, like, helping her around? Or Uber.
I'm, like, thinking of things that would have, that would give you someone's location as well as their identity. Yeah, did he come in and, like... like deliver something? It's just so weird.
So it's going to be more like a... Get your pancakes out and grab your blankie.
This is terrifying. I'll also say this. This is the takeaway. We can go back to this part because this whole thing is astronomically wild and so hard to understand because it's scary. Yeah. But I will say, her not going with her husband for a couple days, that's what happens when you don't make the people you love feel safe. Yeah. They leave. Come on. She was scared.
Monumental fuck up on the husband's part is to not take his wife seriously. Yeah, I agree. That's why she's staying with her parents. Because she doesn't feel safe.
But maybe, like, in two years, we'll have, like, a. Update? No, like a. Will we still be friends in two years? No, like a retelling with, like, actors. You think? Maybe. I feel like Hugh Grant's gonna be the husband. And Nicole Kidman's gonna be the teacher. The teacher. This is just, I feel so hard for her. I like.
Okay, so good update. Resolution. Resolution. Okay.
Just read, you're just supposed to read.
Yeah. Probably, usually a boring subreddit, it feels. Yeah. I mean, interesting.
I like cleaning. I mean, I like it. I just think it's boring. Okay. And that's fair. That's fair. They're going to roast me.
LOL.
I hate to be like a sore loser, but I think it's some cleaning product she's using. because of this cleaning somewhere?
Okay. Right, like, it's gotta be, like, something that she's spraying everywhere. Or it's a leprechaun trying to send her a message.
Oh my god, I knew it! Next story!
Thank you.
Thank you.
A few times... Okay.
You can relax. All good.
Our alibis are here on set at Smosh.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I also feel like we have started to, like, when you hear, like, can't come back in during the office hours and has to come in overnight, I think your brain thinks it's, like, dramatic. But someone could be so rude to someone and hurt someone's feelings, and then the boss could just be like, I'm going to take care of you and not bring you back in the same room. You're right.
Like, he could have just, like, I'm not in defense of this guy.
Our brain just goes wild when you hear like, has been escorted off the premises. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Being like, oh, this is my husband and reading all that? What a fucking loser. He puts that fucking gun catalog and doesn't even take out his fucking address in the middle of it. You fucking idiot. Loser, stupid boy. Love that.
It's harder to hate people than treat them equally. I swear to God. Just treat people equally, and if your male coworkers are also bad, just treat her like that.
This symbol is my show picture of a gun. You look like a cartoon character. I don't know. This set me off. I'm so sorry.
I came too hard for him. No, you didn't come too hard for him.
I just feel so bad for her. Could you imagine?
What if she's not?
I love him giving his wife the papers going, you're going to believe what you want to believe.
Like, those are you, my guy.
That was my argument being like, it's more work to make others less than. Then just treat her just as you would your male coworkers. You're going out of your way.
Look at all the ways you're like messing up your life. And it would just be so much easier to treat people equally. Just go home.
Like, read a book. You could clean your house with that energy.
Big smile from Brennan.
They found me.
Brennan was taken out by that. Your breath was taken away by physically saturating.
From previous cuts. That got me. Oh, this is my hair from March.
You're triggered?
We know she means a lot to you.
My asshole, come on.
And saturate? He goes to the Dunkin' Donuts and the guy's turned around and he goes, can I get a vanilla latte? And he goes, yeah, do you need it?
And?
Oh, my God. I mean, I think... I mean, yeah.
We're not going to be able to predict what that person was doing.
And voicemail. You could tell someone's not doing well when it's during sleeping, when they should be sleeping. Yeah, this is at 3 in the morning. You need their brain to rest, and they're spinning. Yeah. This is bad.
Yeah, the phone thing was brilliant. No explaining her way out of that. And putting it in writing that you didn't want to cease communication, so then from there on it was all unwarranted and just like... Yeah. That's really, really scary. I feel bad for that person.
But she didn't.
And then when she goes, I actually like burning it more than I like collecting it. Yeah. I was like, oh, so you like collecting it. Yeah. And you like burning it.
Yeah, that's what I'm like, I don't want anyone in the comments to explain what physical saturation is to me. You could just, we could just leave that there.
These were really, I think, the most wild I've ever heard.
I don't know what it is specifically about under the bed that feels extra intimate. Like, that's your place of rest.
Yeah, I think like... You can like whatever you like, but when it comes to disrespecting someone's safe space, when it comes to invading someone's privacy, that's just plain scary and disrespectful.
Yeah.
This week was hard. Yeah.
ghosts. Have you ever went to bed with your water bottle and woke up and been like, who is that?
It's like my bottle. And I'm watching him. And then she goes like this. And then sometimes I'll fall asleep and it's still right there. And it's just like an item. And you're like, ah! And it's just water.
I think I also like, in another life, I think, not in this life, in another couple lives ago, I was like a lawyer in the 90s.
He's anxious.
Could you imagine being in that anxious state and then adding caffeine? I'm like, don't touch me. Don't touch me.
He's just trying to get his glasses under there.
Do you wanna? The prep that must go into this to be there before he settles in. No, he comes in while he's sleeping.
And I was like, Marcia Clark status, big curls, being like folders after folders and being like. Not the curls. The evidence. The crime scene photos.
You have double life?
So she was in the house.
I know.
You're the asshole?
You're the asshole here.
No. And it's Friday right now.
And it's the last Pitt video of the week. I was crying. It was just so funny to me that it was Christmas and a little blowjob and he would give her purses. Not the little blowjob. And he would give her purses. Like, whoa. Ew. All those stories made me cry.
To me, I think it's very tricky when someone is a breadwinner. I think you have to have multiple conversations to... Because feeling guilty, feeling shameful, feeling embarrassed, those are all real things. They're human things, and they're totally okay. But it's like, you have to have these conversations. Like...
You have to understand that if you're going to make this big purchase, you're in it together. There are other ways to contribute than making money. You can contribute emotionally, physically around the house. I don't know, I'm so over this. She makes more than me and I'm really insecure and I'm gonna lie. That's your relationship with your own family.
Don't drag my accomplishments into your sad, shameful stuff.
Which makes me also think that she came in hot because I think that there was already resentment built up from her. She was like, I bought this house. You weren't ready. You never even contributed, which is also another thing. It's like, we let all these conversations go unsaid. And it builds up resentment. And I'm not saying that she's in the wrong. I get it.
When you're in a heated moment like that, that's essentially just completely ignoring all of your work that you've done. Totally. But this, if you guys are together, you can buy the house, but it's kind of like, what is the agreement that you guys have together in on this? Yeah.
That's a big lie.
This is a big thing that's not going to work.
But the thing is, not only did he lie, he just, to me, it shows a level of respect that he just doesn't have for her.
Yeah, me too.
Well, regardless, the family, the way they portrayed it, it was like, oh, he bought the house. They just changed that.
Was there someone else at that dinner table that wasn't involved at all, that they were just like?
Passed the mashed potatoes. Yeah, he's like, can I go upstairs now?
They've killed someone and they have a different name. Amateur. Running from the law. That'd be a big secret.
Fecklessness? I mean, what does it even mean?
I'm a little lying girl. Yeah, take off your baby bomb. I lied about that. Could you imagine if it was a prank? I actually was thinking about that. I'm like, that would be awful.
Resentment was built.
Oh my God.
Where? In their house. In a ditch.
She killed him. She's like, my house, bitch.
And I'm burying you in the backyard. Yes.
Whoa! So he took that 24 hours to go, I know the right thing to do. I forgive you, and I'm moving back in. Yeah. And I want a man cave. I hate him. I can't believe he did that. That sucks. That sucks. Also, the sister-in-law, like your own sister's like, I got you, girl. I know. And she's like, come on, brother, you dumbass. Get in the car. Seriously.
She's probably been annoyed with her brother for a long time. She's like, get your stuff. It's like a shitty backpack with a hat.
Yeah, you stay here until forever. Yeah.
Good for her.
He's like, he's got like a Cyrus hat. He's like, dude, chill. Anyway, so.
It's like one of those massive checks and it says $300.
And then to, like, spread his name being like, oh, my God, he set me up. Can you believe that, you guys? Like, what? You knew I needed the money.
Well, it's just like, you knew I needed the money. It's like, okay, well, be a grown-up. I don't know. Reach out to the volunteer place. Yeah. Like, well, let me just double-check to make sure.
Oh, big check. Whoa.
She's like, see, just tell him. Networking is important.
Most are unpaid. And unpaid are the ones where you meet some of the best people.
How many down votes does that have? This is also Ryan's mom. She's like, actually, wait, I love my son. You guys are rad.
Yeah, this random dude. This is not the asshole. It's clear. I don't know.
I think if they were close friends, he would have been like, yo, man, it's actually paid. I'm so sorry. Like, sorry that you missed out. I bet it's probably too late, unless you want me to ask. Like, I feel like close friends would probably try to make it work. Totally. But if he's like, still so far, it's like,
Yeah.
Ryan's just causing drama, man. Yeah.
You would kill people. No! Well.
No, I don't like this.
Literally, am I right? Literally, cut it out. You have to get out of here.
Pollen. Penicillin. Men.
Oh, maybe their boyfriend has a cat. And they're like, I can't stay in your nasty apartment. Yeah.
Yeah. Bro.
Okay, this person needs to finish night school, get their degree, because I get it. It's really hard. It's really stressful. It's really overwhelming to do college. And if you're the first in the family, so much pressure. So if they just did night school, which is awesome, they have it. Okay, they have it behind their back.
What the hell? Dude, I love peanut butter. This is a tragedy. Here's the deal. Wait, is this the same girlfriend from the start? The girl he was like, I'll never see her again.
It's just a random girl.
That is crazy. wild to me.
So he basically needs to go to a doctor and then go, oh my God, hallelujah, miracle happened. I can have peanut butter now.
He messed up by not taking the sip. This is karma, essentially.
And peanut allergy is, you can die from it.
Even just being around it.
They're everywhere. They took it off planes. Good.
It's such an intense allergy, and it, like, needs to be taken seriously. So I get why his friends threw out that whole peanut butter cake at a party.
No, they should confess.
Six years. They threw away a cake at a party. A peanut butter cake.
And, like, Amy's not over it.
This stresses me out. I'm like, bro.
Yeah.
He's like, I'm never going to see you again.
Yeah. So I think, is this wrong for him to be like, oh, my God, I'm... you know, I don't have this anymore.
Where's his family during all this? Because you imagine the mom visits for one day and just blows it all up. She's like, when were you ever allergic to peanut butter? This boy used to bathe in it.
I don't know.
Whoa, okay. That's going a little bit far. I don't look at my husband's medical records every day. I haven't thought, show me the records.
You know what, it's actually not. Yeah, I was going to say, that feels... You have to, the person has to like, because this actually happened to me recently, you have to be like, yes, I give my husband permission to look at my medical records. They can't just look at your medical records.
Because they're married to you. I'm pretty sure.
Yeah. Six years.
They threw out a cake.
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
Which I guess is true. I think it's too late.
This is why I don't lie.
Mm-hmm.
It could happen.
I don't believe a word you say, girl.
And you have to live with yourself.
And how is he gonna hide his peanut butter little stash from his girlfriend when he moves in? Like how?
That would be crazy.
Hey, let me, hey, come here. Get over here.
Wow. Okay. Yeah, that's a tough one.
What a story. Creamy.
Yay.
Two separate things.
Yeah, completely separate. Yeah, separate, okay. And I'm on my period.
But we don't know that Ivy is his baby, but he got Ivy tattooed next to Lily.
Okay. Okay. I think... And he got it on his chest on the side of his heart?
That's very sweet. I will say that's very sweet, like, in general. Like, that's very sweet for, like, that. But that's so devastating. So devastating. Also, I'm so sick of these people gaslighting other people. She clearly was like, I don't like this tattoo. I don't feel good about it. And then he's like, eh.
Dude, he made a decision, and now he's gaslighting his wife and begging her not to end it with him. It's like, here's the thing. People go through a lot of tough things in marriage, but, like, the way he handled it, I'm just like, buddy. Yeah. If he maybe came to her and confessed, like, this happened, holy shit, maybe, maybe they could go somewhere with that. Yeah. But he...
And I know why. It's because I showed her an ultrasound picture and they did have the wrong date on it, which I don't know why that happened. And I fucking clocked it. And she went, that's the wrong date. And I went, oh, that's so weird. It is.
And she has probably seen the tattoo. And she's like, who's Lily and who's Ivy?
The tattoo has, like, a home, and then, like, a dog, and, like. Greatest site where he's gonna be buried next to Lily. Wait a second, what's happening here?
Also, 43 is not old. Not old at all. You can't start over any time in your life. Yeah.
But she did feel bad things happening. She did feel, she was sensing it, and then he denied her that.
I mean, a lily on your heart, on your chest, after knowing them for so many years, out of nowhere-
Yeah, yeah, we're out of it now.
I think sometimes life, though, does... It, like, sets you up so that it hits so hard that you can't deny it anymore. Like, for it to, like... For her to be like, oh, this is happening, this is happening, and then see Lily in person, she's like... Like, it's like sometimes life is like, no, you can't deny it. There you go. It's right there. It's gonna make sure that the truth comes out.
Yeah. No, seriously. That's exactly what's happening.
Huge. I don't have a tattoo. Because I can't think of a tattoo that I want forever.
Get off of Reddit.
I just want to send an email to everyone in the office. The cupcakes are trash. CC just the other way. It's like, guys, they're actually so fucking good.
Aw, yeah. Fuck you, Jake. These fucking sucked. It's like Jake's Bakery coming 2027. I guess not. He rips it up. Aw. I made it up. No, Jake.
I will say college, in my opinion, happens way too quick. I think you get out of high school, you're like, who am I? And they're like, all right, what's your major? Where do you want to go? Blah, blah, blah. And then you have all these pressures. I wish that they forced us to take a year or two to travel, to, like, get some work experience, to figure out who the F we are, and then go to college.
I get going up to the person and being like, oh, they suck. Yeah. And the person's like, oh, thanks. And then everything's fine. For them to go so hard, I'm like, they suck. They're actually trash.
Well, Jake is quitting. Jake's switching fields. I guess I'll be an accountant just like my parents wanted. I guess I'll work at State Farm. But I will say, if that was me and everyone lied to say it sucked, I would have been like... What's wrong with me? Am I like the one who flips out? Yeah. No, no, it's fine. Yeah, it's tricky, it's tricky.
So Jake's like, everyone loved my cupcakes. He has no idea. It grants his bliss.
I'm worried about you taking on this new thing about good lies.
This is what worries me.
So the donut didn't taste as good.
Yeah. Bye. No, the video's not over.
Oh my God. We loved it.
Confess.
Bye.
I would never in my life. I'm not a prankster. I just, it eats me up inside.
But when you're an actor, you're fine. It doesn't matter what school you went to.
No, I have communication and sociology. That's cool. So my sociology was actually what I wanted to major in, which was all about like relationships. I did a whole semester on women in hip hop videos. Hell yeah. Straight up. It was fucking awesome.
I wanted to intern for it because it would be like this huge Indian man who was incredible and he would break down every music video and like the relationship and like of women and how women were portrayed and what messages these were sending. And then I also went over like abusive relationships and like nuclear family and I was obsessed with it. And then I took forensics for fun.
His name was Satjali. And I wanted to be his intern. And so many people wanted to be his intern. But he was, like, big. He was, like, seven feet tall. That's all I needed to know. And he was, like, a thin... I think he's heard.
She's constantly trying to make it better. Constantly. I'm not lying to you. Take that off. No. You have to keep this on for the video. It's not that kind of video. Oh my God. No, no. See, she's a villain in this situation. Not the shirt, the baby bump. Get out of here. It's real. Right. Let go of my hand. Can I tell you something weird? I get uncomfortable when people hold my hand for so long.
I'm such a touchy-feely person, but even if someone holds my hand for a while, I'm like, all right.
My husband will sometimes hold my hand while we're walking, and I'm like, yeah. Squeeze, squeeze. Love ya. All right. I don't know why it is.
No big deal. You have beautiful hands.
Okay. Girl boss. Yeah.
Christmas time.
Girl boss. Honestly, I would probably do that.
Who's your mommy?
Okay, breaking up is a little extreme, but then again, she owns the house.
Um...
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There's something we have to discuss when we get to it.
Yay!
No. Your sister... Yeah. What? I mean, stranded... It's not like he left her in the middle of the woods.
I need to know because is it a restaurant in the city that they both live in?
Okay, okay, okay.
Maybe he should have driven her. Maybe you should have driven her. And yeah, okay, stranded, I get that. But I'm also like, I don't know.
Oh wow!
My dinner.
I didn't realize that he said he would drive her home. I get that. I think it's like, okay, drive her to Josh's and say, see you never.
Yeah, like what actually went down?
I think Ian's right. I think he probably did not react well.
I mean, I appreciate her honesty, but like...
Maybe she was like, oh, this is someone that I used to, but we don't do that anymore, and maybe he just left that out.
Yeah, maybe she's like, oh, I need something there or my car is there. Maybe it was something else.
I was about to be ready for... I thought it was going to happen.
Okay, maybe he is a hero.
Definitely.
I'm also like, I'm so done with people saying no need to apologize when clearly they were hurt. Like, why can't we just be upfront about how we feel? No need to apologize, no need to apologize.
It's like when someone's trying to apologize, like, no, no, no, no need to apologize. It's like... But me?
Oh, good.
And I love that.
And I said I like that.
Ooh, classic. Real.
You tell the truth when you're drinking.
And they're dressed as bowlers? Yes. This is terrible.
Yeah, because this is your boss.
She's like, I wasn't gonna tell you that you have a small dick. But you do.
Ugh. Honey, Sam Summer? Stop the clock. You got oysters in Sam Summer? Are you fucking kidding me? You're getting super brown during the summer.
Whoa.
She just either has to forgive, move on, or that's it.
Here's the deal though, I think, I feel like, okay, yeah, if she can't move on from that, then that can't happen. But if she can, I think your relationship, like your sex relationship constantly changes all the time. So she's not always gonna be third, maybe. I mean, I don't know, maybe she is.
Why did he say that?
He really, ooh, he got too comfy.
I'm glad that he admitted what he wanted to say before they got married, not on their wedding night where he's like, you're the third best. Love ya. Glad we did this. Do you know what I mean? I don't know. This is up to her if she can.
He just didn't need to say third.
He didn't need, this isn't the Olympics. Like, you don't need to say that.
Exactly.
See, I would be like, all right, great. Starting tomorrow, after we eat hangover food, I wanna hear all about it. I would wanna go over everything before I make any decisions.
Yeah, yeah.
He was in a bowler outfit.
And they had a good night. They had a blast.
Literally just one. I will say, though, when you're in the beginning of a relationship and you have those drinking nights... you do start to say shit. I've never ever had experienced that, but you do say shit where it's like, what'd you just say? Where it's like, huh? So just be careful next time. One beer tower. One beer tower.
He owns you.
I don't know.
I feel like all these Reddit ones, they're like, I cut it off. I don't know.
Don't even get me. I blacked that out. The fact that you brought it up again.
I kind of agree.
Okay.
He tried to share something super vulnerable. He fucked up with the third place. And I think it's really, really painful. But I think...
in order to marry someone, your conversation's just gonna get harder and you have to kind of take your insecurity and fear and anxiety about sex and all these things out of it and just be like, okay, we're two human beings, this sucks right now, but is the love and respect still there? And I just, I mean, if that broke them up, I don't know, I mean, their marriage wouldn't have lasted.
That's not what he said. And also, like you promised you wouldn't tell your family and friends. You just did a full Reddit post on it. Like you're not being respectful.
I don't know. I think she missed out on something that could have been good for their relationship. I don't know. I get, I'm not saying everyone has to accept everyone's flaws, but at least give it a chance to kind of dig into like, okay, clearly you waited till we were wasted to tell me. Clearly you were afraid to tell me. And he had rightfully so. So it's like, I don't know.
I just think people need to dig in a little bit more before they just call it quits.
Yeah, I think it's very hard when you tell something about yourself that's really personal. And I get that he said third, but like, other person's response is only like, well, I guess I'm not, well, I guess, it's really hard to communicate once it gets to that place.
Rightfully so, I get it. But take some, I don't know, take some time, but... Listen, you can't be in everyone's relationship. You don't know. You don't know what's going on.
I just think marriage is like... You can't just be like, I'm out. Oh, for sure. You fucking, like, this is the person that you chose to be with, and you kind of have to give them the benefit of the doubt.
To me it sounds like he hasn't said he's tired of it at all until right now he's putting his foot down and he's putting it all down at once and he let resentment build up.
I don't think either of them are secure enough to be in this relationship right now.
How does it feel? She's never been back to the bowling lane since.
No, it's perfect.
Split.
He could keep going. You don't have to let him.
Okay, here we go.
No, I agree. I don't think he's an asshole at all for this at all. But like, yeah, I think it's time to maybe go to Europe.
I can't. This is exactly the type of guy who asks you out and you go, oh, no, thank you. And then they're like, the fuck?
You're a bitch. And then they're like, excuse me, can you go? And it's like, no, I'm pissed. And then they stay. Dude.
You've got to be more intense, Ian. You've got to be like, I own you people.
It's because he's embarrassed and his pride made him stay.
He was like, I deserve to have this. Every woman's been invisible to me, so I deserve to go up to these ladies and talk to them. It's like, that's where you're wrong. It is not your God-given right to have any woman go, yes? Like, no, bro. Friends were ballsy as hell. Like, ballsy. R. Kelly's a little much.
It's so good. No, they watch the documentaries. They know exactly what's going on.
They're like deep in the Me Too movement.
Exactly.
Also, it's like your own friend was like, bro, that was your fault.
And he's like, no, I'm going to stay.
Okay, do better.
Yeah. Yeah. I did it. And they're like, okay, can you go now?
This is- Jute.
Jute rug, big thing.
Get out of here.
Yeah! Period. I would set you up with my aunt, bitch.
Yeah, literally.
I was gonna say, of course he left out the fact that, which most girls do, most women do, they're like, no thank you, have a good night. No thank you, have a good night. Here's a piece of cake, good night. Like, the amount of politeness that we have to fucking do, and then still, like, I love this 19-year-old. She just gave it to him. Like, damn!
Yes.
I love these girls. I am loving it.
And he's like, Aunt.
And he's like, she said I was fit, so, like, clearly she was into me, you know?
Clearly she thought I was hot, so it's just, like, she's probably embarrassed in front of her friends.
Which meant some of them were 18.
And I love that she said, my journalist TA, honey, she's in school.
Divorced dick.
These are so good, by the way.
Oh yeah, okay, I can do it. My neck's fine.
Oh wait, that's crazy. I got it.
Oh yeah, I think so.
We call that a throwback, just like ignition.
What benefit does she get from doing that prank?
I don't think he's overreacting. No, my God, no.
They're like, that's a prank.
But you still straddled that person half naked who's my friend.
Those are fun. I mean... like, punked and stuff. Like, sometimes they cross the line a lot.
Wait, I need to see this.
But here's the thing with those, that has nothing to do with their partner having sex with their best friend.
They're going down a ski mountain, fine. It didn't involve their whole fucking life.
And they go down to the bottom of the ski mountain and the wife and the best friend are like, oh, and also we're here.
Why is she like this AI robot where it's like, Jess only wants, just tell her, hey honey, I don't want to see Mickey for a long time. Just tell your wife.
Oh, okay. Just do it to Cass then.
So fake. Unless they're scaring them. Those are my favorite. When they're like coming around the corner and they're scaring them a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah, me too.
No.
No, what they did was just, it was like, really? Like, why? It was just dumb and insensitive and then also to be like, how dare you make me look like an idiot? It's like, you made me look like an idiot.
Oh, pranked. Yeah, pranked. He's like, what?
Yeah, exactly. And he's like, what son? And she's like, pranked. She just really goes too hard.
Yeah, that's bad. He did the right thing.
Ooh, our takes.
Ooh, did you just call us all hot?
Oh.
We're all in our 30s, it's okay.
Okay, got it.
Yeah, like Shein.
I owe you. I give you the green light.
Well, you wear it every day.
The fact that he didn't know what the stone was, didn't think about, oh, this is a stone that has meaning to you. That's going to turn your finger green.
I think his ego is hurt, but I think this does happen where the person is like, oh, I don't like my ring. And the person who proposed is like, their ego's hurt for a little bit. And it can be a tricky space. But I do think at the end of the day, marriage, you have to work together on it. It's like, let's talk about what ring you do want.
At the end of the day. And also.
I think he just... I think he needed to talk to someone and get advice on what to do. Because I don't think he fully wrapped his head around that this ring will turn her finger green. And also... Yeah, I don't know what he was thinking, really.
But nine years in a row.
That's the thing. I'm like, what were you thinking?
And he panicked. He's like, oh, $38? That's awesome. Here we go. $38?
It doesn't have to be expensive. At all, actually. When you wear something every single day, it needs to have wear and tear. But like, dude.
Yes.
Honey, you're not being dramatic. This man is just... No.
You go to Disney World and you talk about your second best goddess sex times. Right. He... No, you can't marry this guy. What are we talking about? You buy your own ring.
It doesn't have to be... If this is your future wife, don't you want her to be happy?
Whoa, no more updates?
I think this was one of my favorite Reddit story episodes because- Truly, yeah. The stories were all bangers. They were so good.
Okay.
Nine problems, but a bitch ain't one. Disney.
Yes. Thank you.
Okay, blink twice if you need assistance, buddy.
I don't know what happened in between that post, but that's a different man writing that thing. Hey guys!
Update number two. Stop! She's like, hey, it's Jess. I don't know where he's been. He's been missing for two weeks.
Please stop. She's like, ugh, you have to have Mickey touch my neck.
Like a roller coaster?
This man, it's like his body is in a room, and he has these little black mirror things on, and he's just transported into the perfect husband for Jess. How does he believe that this is?
Also like Whiplash.
Yeah. Yeah? What? She's like, oh, I backed into the garage. She's like, okay, for Mickey. She's like.
Maybe the top of his head is going somewhere, but the rest of his body is buried, yo. He's attached to something else and she's pulling that arm and it's a phantom body. I'm sorry, what are we doing here?
I was like, no, I was like, something's coming. Also him re-explaining the story just shows that he is so like in this pattern of like, and I'm a good husband and here's the story. And I was wrong. I am wrong. And it's like, okay, this is a nightmare.
Nightmare.
God. Can we just move on? I don't know.
Also, you need to like, once you go on the site, you need to immediately delete it. Delete your search history and just.
They love each other. They're kissing. I love it. They're hugging. Yeah. You can't. This is your work iPad. Can you imagine? Can you imagine Reddit stories? Bailey's like, hey, can we stop down? Shane, what are you doing?
Not the asshole.
Yeah, like literally, who cares? But demolished by a monster? Ugh, that sucks. You don't want to see that. Hard to see.
So silly.
Oh, not wholesome.
No kissing?
No hugging?
Ted?
Is this Mark?
Joe Osmond?
Spencer, don't admit shit like that.
I thought these were silly.
I hate you.
Girl, run. I mean, huh? Teddy was red and now he's gray? I don't feel good about that.
This is a fetish.
For the fact that he's like, you're perfect. No, just kidding. Teddy, it's like...
What's going on here?
They're also furries. And it kept getting sexual. There are also people who love dressing up and being teddy bears or whatever.
Dude, the moment that smelly ass teddy bear hit my lips, that boy would be punched in the fucking throat. I'd be like, get away from my body. Get that ratty. ass teddy bear off my beautiful body. Like, what are we discussing? Why are we even having this conversation? Teddy was red and now he's gray. Teddy was red and now he's gray? And hasn't been washed in 12 years.
You want to talk about that?
Like life size?
And you shall have that.
How big is his teddy bear?
If it's life size, then okay.
Exactly what I was thinking. Oh, God. Is this just a large flashlight? I'm sorry.
Oh, my God. Wait. Are you serious? That's a fucking turn of events. Wait. It's like some Green Goblin shit. He's like dating women for research.
This is not silly. This is dark as hell.
Please tell me there's an update.
Like, does he never go shopping? Is it just, he only eats one PB and J every day.
Wait, there's another guy with a teddy bear, like, doing this?
Awesome.
and stay there that's some gaslighting shit dude you talked about having sex with your teddy i was just kidding bro yeah exactly i i don't what oh if he's kidding he brings the teddy from his place that's what that's what i mean like i'm saying yeah and he's like hi dude teddy was red and now he's gray yeah no there's no there's no backtracking you can't like no no there
No, guys!
Fully new fear unlocked for me. As a female, that's a fucking fear unlocked right now. I'm gonna give it an eight or nine on the silly scale. I'm gonna give it a 10, because that was damn silly. It had me giggling.
Any updates?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
We will take over the world with a million dollars.
This is tricky. It's clear that this kid has maybe disrespected him a lot of times, and now he's like, all right, that's enough. This is my place. This is my own stuff. That's my jelly bean thing.
I'm going for jelly beans.
Also, if she didn't want them to eat the jelly beans, she could just take it up and be like, all right, you're going to go crazy here. But she clearly didn't give an F if he ate the jelly beans because they're kids.
I mean, it sounds so good.
I mean, he's not a chef.
He knows the vibe. He cleans out the fridge every two weeks. He takes things out of ugly bottles and puts them in nice bottles.
And his parents.
But this was a wrong example. This was the wrong fight to fight.
It sounds like he definitely did. He sounds like that type of guy.
And I'm like, well, we don't have to. And he's like, we're doing it. So that's his vibe. I remember your guest, the fridge.
I think it's her pride. I think she was like, How fucking dare you, dude? Like, I'm busy. That's why it was the wrong fight. Like, yeah. I can understand parents and, like, the mom, like, not giving kids boundaries. That's really annoying to be around.
Maybe they're the same. Maybe he was like that when he was seven.
What are those?
It's like throw up and like boogers.
You know what hands have been in that jar?
Somebody was probably like, la, la, la.
Whoa, you know, your dad was probably watching TV and was like, ha, ha, yum.
Who does?
What a silly story.
Oh my God, so true.
Oh, my God.
Ow! He broke my knuckles. My hand is broken. That was crazy. That's my game. I like to hit.
Yeah, that's awesome. And I love it. But it's not this one. Update!
Cream soda.
Respect dude.
Oh my God.
I'm hungry.
I wanna go over to this dude's house.
Wait, is that the fucking update? That's the update. It was purely about the carbonara. Dude, that's not an update.
Literally, I'm so hungry right now, Shane.
I want to go meet Domenico and Carla, and I want to go in that burlap sack. I want to see the walls lined with burlap sacks.
You know that I have, because I've seen all Jackie Chan movies.
Did you know that?
Who Am I? One of my favorites.
Same brain.
It's been a long time since I've seen Jackie Chan movies.
Me and my little sister would watch them all. Wow.
That's it? It's just the carbonara is just over?
We are shitty people. But like, if we boxed or something. I would take your neck and the bottom of your ankle, and I'd go, one, two, three.
Okay.
Cousin!
This is awesome.
Can you imagine doing that? I feel like a sister would do this, being like, I hate you. This is sister behavior. And you're just like this, you're like. You're like this.
Yeah, literally, and then they leave and they're like, God, I hate you.
I'd be like, oh. Um,
I've definitely cold shouldered in a shared space and it sucks. And I really hate when I do it. And my husband's been like, you really, you can't do that anymore. And I'm like, no, you're right. No, you're right. It's wrong, but sometimes I really don't want to talk to you. So now I go on walks.
Yeah, because if there's two people in a room and you're not talking, it sucks. Oh, yeah. So I've gotten a lot healthier. But I've never whispered I hate you to someone sleeping. That would be kind of funny, though. That would be so funny.
It wasn't gonna be good enough for him to just say it in another room or write it down. I have a confession.
You did? Yeah. I knew I felt like I hate peanut butter and jelly. Did you taste like no sugar? I woke up and tasted no sugar.
That's why I felt sick when I woke up. Yeah.
I know you didn't.
I would turn around and be like, fuck off. What did you say?
Not speaking to someone because of the pasta thing. I get being upset the whole night.
Wait. Yikes. Seven years? Woo. Which makes me think, how often has he been dealing with this behavior?
Like, he'll be better. He'll be better tomorrow.
He'll be better tomorrow. And it's like, dude, why?
They said, I hate you, the 28-year-old?
I think getting so mad about the pasta and not speaking all night and then completely ignoring you is like, really, that sucks.
It's not about the pasta, it's about hate, pure hate.
I bet they didn't eat it.
I can't think of a sillier food. Pasta's supposed to bring people together, but it sounds like it's just pulling people apart.
It's my favorite food, did you know that?
You're very silly. And I'm super silly. What's yours? Lasagna? Flat and lazy, I'm just kidding. Damn, Jesus Christ. Come on, it was just fun. It was just fun.
I said flat! I said flat! Come on!
Your bow tie because you're a gentleman?
There's no update on that one?
So he's still in his bed, just like, I hate you.
Altitude?
No, I get it.
Stinkers, nothing unsexy about a parent calling their kids stinkers. You look at your husband, you're like, God, he was hot. And then he calls his kids like, you little stinker.
Does it?
I know. That's why I would take your whole body and chuck it.
Yes, and also like, you know, how dare she? Chemical makeup and also it's like, you just do things. When you're at dinner and you look at him and you just go, yeah, you and me.
No, literally. The altitude changes food. I believe him. I believe him.
We don't know. But, you know, it sounds plausible.
How do you think I hurt my neck?
We're sorry. Sorry. We're being silly.
So is gaslighting her at the same time? Yeah, no. He's like, how dare you? Like, two people when they come together. And it's like, okay, yeah, I kind of get that.
So wait a second. Has he been flirting with this guy because they work together? All of a sudden at dinner?
Oh, you're so right.
So many times, and he's like, he was sitting in the car like, how do I come up with this excuse?
I don't think you become gay because you're high up on altitude. I think... He probably just liked the guy and was into it. I mean, I should hope so.
Guy or girl, whatever, he still cheated.
Please tell me there's an update.
Ooh, the guy? I forgot what point of view was for a second. I was like, what? Wait, the guy's not the asshole?
And you became gay, though. So I guess you're the one example.
Unwillingly gay?
She's talking about that you cheated. You're a bigot.
I think he's trying to, I think. That's right. I think.
That's right.
Whoa, so silly. Those are some silly ones. Looks like everyone's going to be going to Utah. Know what I'm saying?
Whoa. Yeah, pretty much.
They don't care.
That was really funny.
That wasn't silly. That was frightening.
No, I agree. I think the Teddy guy would, his first thing would be the Utah thing, and then he would get into a relationship. Yeah. And he'd have the partner that says, I hate you.
And then he would break up with that partner, and his new partner would be the jelly bean guy.
Yeah. That is my nightmare. This is why I don't have dolls, because they come alive at night.
I hate dolls. Yeah, him and I both hate dolls. Oh, interesting.
Wait, I know, I saw.
Anyways, yeah, so don't get us dolls if you're thinking about it, Spencer. Okay.
I thought you guys- That was the best content we've ever done.
That one was silly. That was so fast.
Yeah.
Nice stuff.
I wasn't going to tell them, and now you revealed it.
These are so silly.
No, no.
Of course.
Wait a second. I know there's like bathroom things that smell good, but if it has a wick, I would light it too. But then I would blow it out.
You just did it.
This is Yankee Candle. Oh, what's the point of decorative candles? Light that fucker.
I mean, he's an idiot for leaving it like... Why did it smoke so bad?
Oh no, she has decorative towels that you're not supposed to touch, probably.
It's so weird to me that someone would ask every little thing, like, is it okay if I light this candle? I did it stinky.
I was wondering.
And how intense was his number two?
Oh, my God. They're going to be silly.
Also, upside down, that means the wick's gonna get all wet, and then you're never gonna be able to light it.
Go fuck yourself.
Mermaid glitter or whatever it's called.
Oh no, Spencer, you're an asshole. Spencer, did you write this?
Spencer is the coolest ever.
Here's the thing, I also love candles, and not all candles you need to trim the wick. Some come pre-trimmed.
Woodwick is great, but it can be loud and crackly.
But I kind of like it.
Then it goes too fast.
That was so silly. That was pretty silly. Yeah.
Buddy, come on.
I love that.
It's a woman. Oh, it's a woman. Women can... She loves watching... Women watch porn? Oh, yeah. Women watch porn. I like... Amateur porn.
Like, what's silly anymore, you know?
Sorry, my sister doesn't think I'm hot, so you shouldn't date me anymore.
Yeah, like an ass.
Yeah. No, this person, this sister gives really, like, a lot of red flags. Like, just immediately. It's also, like, how she responded when she was confronted. When OP confronts her and she's like, well, I'm just being honest. I'm looking out for him. Like, completely devaluing her as a person. Caring about this other guy more than her. Completely belittling her and making her feel like nothing.
Why would she want to go to this person's wedding? This person doesn't want her at the wedding, clearly. Exactly.
Would you guys still go to your sibling's wedding if they did that?
Yeah, there's something there of like, there's protecting your heart and then like, it's very vulnerable for her to still go after something like that. This day is about this person who really did something vile. If I had found out that someone did that, like if my friend did that to their sister, I would be like, whoa, I don't know if I can be friends with someone who does that.
Yeah, where did this come from? And yeah, I can understand why it's not like if you go, all these, weddings, there's so much going on, and if anything, obviously her fiance is gonna be there with her, and they have each other to like, And it's like, oh, look at us, this boring couple that you hate. Is that your wedding? You spent all this money.
I almost wanted to make the joke of brides will do anything to cut down on costs.
That is so true.
Yeah, they're the easiest thing.
What's going on in New York? Yeah, and their name is Sally and they're 35.
Yeah, I can't imagine someone so close to me normally, I don't know how close they were before this, to go and go so far out of their way to do something so personal and horrible. And jealousy does seem like the root of it, regardless of the kind of jealousy. Jealous of, yeah, being chosen, or not being chosen by this guy, or that she has feelings for him, or...
She's just jealous that this person is getting any attention for being engaged at all. Like, I get it.
Right.
Okay, then I need to vent just a little bit more then. Because this sister didn't even go, hey, here's all the horrible things this person has ever done. You shouldn't be them. She completely ripped apart this person's existence.
Of like, you're boring. Not even like, oh, she's a bad person. She's like mean to service workers. It's like, no, she's boring. She's lame. She's low vibes. Yeah. Like what? Low vibes. Low vibrations. I don't know. I heard that on Vanderpump last night. Low vibes. Low vibes. It's going to be my new thing. Shane, low vibes. I am at a higher vibration level.
That's what I heard Lala say on VPR, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's also why I said okay Sheena because Sheena is the patient zero pick me girl and she does horrible things like she'll say something horrible and I'll be like hey why'd you say something horrible like that about me to my own mom over text and she goes I'm just being honest.
Flying your drone at your sister's wedding reception.
He fucking loved stripping down. I literally would not have believed this story was real until I remember that this video and photos, because I literally, it was giving, and everyone clapped. The way he wrote it. Wait, you said a picture?
Got some good definition, nice. I was like, I hope he's not.
At least he's wearing compression underwear, yeah. Not some tighty-whities or some loose.
Oh, he loved it.
Can I act out what I think the gasping and moaning was like? Yes.
I also feel like the concept of weddings just brings out new flavors of every person that you know. Or not every person, but definitely brings new things to the equation.
Yeah, no, because I thought it was fake, the way it was written.
I did. I was like, this is, come on. This is embellished, or the very least. So it kind of puts things into perspective a little bit. Yeah, people really do live and write like that.
On the topic of wedding videos though, there is one that I always show everybody that is like the most, oh, it's the Cole and Sav LeBrant family wedding video. It's got bajillions of views. And I think it's like shot by the same people who did like Twilight or something like that. It looks insane where there's crazy drone shots, slow motion, everything feels so intense where like
There's one shot where it's like, the men are gathering. Of course.
And then they do like, it's like the hug and the pat, and they added like a boom sound.
It was like, boom, men.
Yeah, I thought when he said splash, I was like, not the cake!
Oh. The devil's asshole, eh? We like that. We like that. It is. We like that.
Yeah, this is not the stage at the end of Mean Girls when you're holding the crown and you're like, I just... This is not your moment. No. Oh, my God. Like, also, like, again, another... I'm just being honest.
Okay? That's not... That doesn't make it right, okay?
I need to talk to my friend for a bit. I need to talk to my best friend. No, speaking of everybody, how uncomfortable is that that you're like, because you're right, your feelings are valid, but you're choosing to take a microphone and some 85-year-old grandpa who's never seen you before in your life is now hearing your problems.
We've all seen a speech where it's like, oh, that was a little personal, okay. Don't commandeer an entire speech that the bride asked you to do with the mission and the purpose of talking about positive things. You can still be honest and not, display your feelings. There's plenty of positive things to say of it is so wonderful that whatever her name is found the love of her life.
That is a fact and that doesn't erase your facts.
Oh, that's what it was. It's like... I feel like it's a meme almost where it's like, yeah, we all know that when people get married or when they get into a serious relationship, you kind of see them less because they found someone that they really love spending a lot of time with. Like, people joke like, oh, guess we'll never... Like, especially when they have a kid.
It's like, oh, we're never going to see them again. They're with the ball and chain. Like, it's not a new... You're not the first person to ever experience this. It's just so completely blind to other people. It's also...
Yeah, because you're kind of, you're like, I've lost a friend in this. Who are you blaming? Are you calling her a bad friend? Because you're literally, you are not a prime example of a good friend right now. Because I feel like, especially a maid of honor, it's like, Google things to think about as a maid of honor. Number one priority, the bride and their happiness as the maid of honor, right?
And like, absolutely, that's not being considered at all in those moments. Right.
I mean, girly, you are not flexible either. You were not flexible when you needed to unload all this. And, like, I get it sometimes when you're in therapy a lot. You feel a lot more compelled to just, like, really... open up to people that aren't just your therapist sometimes.
And so she felt very compelled with that microphone to unload stuff that, yeah, she should have said all of that to her therapist before going to a wedding. If this was something she'd been feeling, like I've had big events that I was like, I need to prepare for this. I'm going to have like an extra session just so I can really like, prepare and know how to handle myself.
Imagine if the 85-year-old grandpa I referenced earlier was just like boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.
No, I think it's, like, the shop.
You know what's so... And, like, it's very Photoshop. Like, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, is, like, the concept of being offended on behalf of someone else. Right. And, like, the bride never said anything. The literal groom shrugged and kept dancing. And also, like, the bride had talked to this person. She knew the dress was yellow.
Like they're making it about themselves somehow in that moment. Like why were you guys uncomfortable? You weren't getting married. Also, is your attention span that short that you didn't see this yellow dress? Like I know we don't remember every single person at a party, but like... Hello?
Like, what? That's so projecting. Like, other people being like, you made a bunch of us uncomfortable. It's like, okay, were you getting married? Also, you're uncomfortable at something that wasn't actually happening.
You know, the last hour at reception. The last hour, nobody's even. They could be messy. Yeah, they could be messy.
You had to hear about it later. And this lady, this clearly was an angry drunk. And love how it's just like, it's a person in the bridal party. Clearly they didn't go and like go to the bride and go, hey, I don't know if you noticed this. Like, are you okay with this? Are you okay? And if the bride was like, oh, actually her dress is yellow. I guess the black light makes it funny.
Anyway, like, one conversation. Stop being pissed off for people that you don't even know are actually pissed off yet.
He's like,
Everyone's teeth looks like yellow. I have only two veneers here, so I have to keep my mouth shut in black lights because they go bing!
That's cool. And also, those people are going to feel so stupid when they see her Instagram posts and it's like, that dress was yellow. Yeah. You thought it was blue and white? Yeah.
Yeah.
That person doesn't exist. She was just parking cars. Maybe it was a ghost. It was like that meme. Is the dress white or is the dress yellow? But truly, last thing I'll say about that Instagram is she's going to post pictures of her in this yellow dress. Because I know she's feeling really guilty now that all these random people feel offended for someone that isn't offended.
They're going to see this and go, oh, it was yellow. Oh. Like, what? What?
Uh, oh, um... Oh, my God, um... Philip J. Fry. Wait, no, what's his name? What's the guy's name in iCarly? Mr. Fry.
Don't say that!
Oh boy.
Yeah, bro, you, yo, I mean, he was 16. He was so young. He was 17. He was having fun. I have a very big family. I was meeting cousins until I was 22. And I probably have more that I have not met. Right, right, right. Like, you, how could you not, like... Just while you're dancing, maybe go...
Like, that's horrible. Like, come on. You think he wanted that? Like, obviously, you could tell this kid doesn't feel great about it. Oh, God, what a bad, what a major cook-up.
2019, 2018.
Yeah.
Yeah, the weirdos couldn't hold it in, could they? They're like, ah, yes.
There we go, no more devil's asshole. No more devil's asshole.
It definitely completely erases all the hard work that she did, and I can see a world where like, oh, the idea of that is really lovely, like surprise, you're getting married in this incredible city, but it's like, You didn't really talk to her about why that church was important to her.
Yeah, or like texted, like, hey, I heard everything.
Like, what? Not even saying, hey, come on. Like, nothing? Like, that's so hurtful. No, I would be pissed. And I feel connected to this story because... Of two things, there was one girl in my high school growing up that she would unapologetically, most straight faced, always, if you said a word that was like, oh, that's inconceivable, she'd be like, what's inconceivable?
You assumed that it was because it was the cheapest option, but you also literally said that's where she was christened. Maybe that's a family church that's actually important to her that you just didn't pay attention to. Or you could have surprised her with a honeymoon to Venice. Yes.
And I'd go, oh, and then we'd go, oh, it's like this thing. And she just, it wasn't any weird thing at all. And I really, her and I were never close, but I always thought that was so cool about her. And then there was one great teacher in my life that said, there's no such thing as a stupid question. And that has stuck with me always as well.
Right.
I truly feel like When people ask questions in conversations, it's good for the conversation. And also, if you want to include someone, make someone feel included in the conversation in that way so they know what the hell you're talking about. There's literally nothing wrong with what she's doing. Yeah.
Ow.
Yeah, but what's the name of your guy in... Philip Brownlee. Philip Brownlee. That wasn't far off. Brownlee?
Yeah, like, because I wish she hadn't gone and hide in a bed for three days. Like, that's horrible. It must feel horrible. But I would sit her fiance down and be like, hey, I just want you to know that I came into the house and I heard everything that you guys were saying about me. And it really hurt.
If you want to surprise her with something amazing, do that because like the wedding part also, it's like those are big expenses that I think once you are going to be married, like big expenses, it's a team discussion.
when your mom was saying these things, and it hurt even more that I heard you laughing and not sticking up for me. I would never do that to you. And just being like, what did I do to deserve such horrible things to be said about me? Correct. And just say that. And I think seeing how he reacts will be very telling in the next step.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it also can be... It kind of is telling of the environment, too, where someone is trying to kind of, in a way, defend this girl, but then the mother shuts it down and goes, no, she's stupid. It's like, oh, okay, so... We're just having no room for accountability in this moment.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, isn't like when it's a destination wedding, it's like the couple picks a place that's like important to them or that they both agree that they really love or like something like that, right?
She's like, totally, totally. I'm so proud of her. Because one thing that I'm thinking about is like, Everyone was like, it's just a joke. And she was like, it's not funny. And the thing about being funny is it requires intelligence to be funny. It does. And they weren't being fucking funny. They were being lame. There's low-hanging fruit.
Ridiculousness. I just love that she was like, I have nothing to lose. I can get the fuck out of here. She knew. She's like, I'm young.
Yeah, and there's also, like, because bringing that up of, like, how it feels to suddenly have everything paid for, like, when I was growing up, our home, like, was a lot more low-income side. Like, so I've grown up with, I feel a lot of guilt and, like, a lot of weird kind of shame when people are going out of their way financially for me, especially when I don't expect it.
Yeah. I don't know how to act right now at a deep level. And just the so much work she put in in the beginning is what matters, I think, the most. Yeah, it's a lot.
She's like, what's my favorite color? He clearly like, money.
And he's taking it personally even though he didn't do anything. His dad is doing, like... Well, he made the decision to do all this.
Right. Yeah, I get that. It's like... At that point, he's putting his own work above hers. But, like, it's also, like, she might value money differently than he values money. And, like I said, like, when it's a team decision like that, like, that's a lot of money. That's, like, what if I actually wanted that for our eventual child or pet or home?
Like, that's why we didn't do a lot of the things that people do for spending on a wedding is because we wanted to spend it on other things.
I mean, let's see what happens.
Will they be selling pancakes at the venue? Oh my god.
Sorry, sorry.
I bet they won't, but they have really crazy popcorn flavors. So I wouldn't be surprised if they had like a pancakes popcorn.
That actually is sick.
Also, the fact that she's planning her wedding, apparently was gonna get a wedding gift for her sister. All this is happening. This bride takes the time to stop, pivot, and go and do this? Take the time and dedicate time and effort to do this to her own sister?
Perfume changes with each person. If they both like the perfume, I don't really see the biggest, I mean, I don't. Am I weird for thinking that's not crazy weird?
Smell has a lot of memories. Here's what I was thinking about. I was thinking about him trying to buy a gift for his sister and his girlfriend and being like, oh, they both like the scent. Here we go.
Yeah, as you're breaking it down, I'm kind of like, right. Because I struggle with giving gifts, so that would be something. Although I would not get...
My husband got me the same fragrance as his mom. I'd be like, okay.
I guess. See, here's the thing. I am processing this real time.
That's not fun.
I'm envious of you. My sister gives really good gifts. She'll give like nostalgic memories that I only thought that I remembered and she'll remember. We had these like old Dutch big wooden shoes by our door that were yellow and so cute. And we used to put them on when we were kids. And she found me a painting of those exact shoes and sent them out of the blue. And I was like, How did you?
She remembers everything.
No.
No.
Okay, that, I would have immediately been like, ew.
Yeah.
Especially on grammar, when they're talking and you correct their grammar. I had a friend like that.
Hell yeah, my plan worked.
Yeah, it totally does.
Oh, my God. I love how they get oysters up there. It's so fun.
You thought Santa was macking it with the mom.
What I'm thinking about is the HR person. What are they thinking? Because they have to go about this as like, okay, I have to address this. The boss has to address it. but it's like.
She's gonna be dead.
Oh my God.
So where does strawberry milk come from?
Oh my god, pigs.
Stop.
Janice, honestly, I wanna know, I think Janice didn't like this guy. I think she was like, ugh. Probably not. And he's probably like, hey, I'll bring this in for you. Like, we don't know how he did it. I'm not saying anything, but like, Janice... Her name is Janice now. Maybe she just didn't like this guy and she was so annoyed and she was like, you know what? You're a bully.
And at the end of the day, we're reading this and all we're hearing is the chocolate milk story.
That's just me giving another fun side of it. But other than that, it's chocolate milk. Well, it's true.
Yeah!
I want chocolate milk.
I think strawberry milk is a little bit better.
I don't hate that opinion. Thank you.
You made her vanilla milk?
Her tummy was gonna hurt all night.
As someone, I don't know why, but as a female, if I were to go over to your house, and it's two boys, and they just have a couch, no art, and they're just like, you know that's what they have.
Scary.
In the city of Los Angeles?
Truly.
What's with these guys and this wording?
No, not really. I mean, he likes clowns. It's his place. He wants to look at masks and little things hanging on a swing. That's his prerogative. Yeah. I don't know what to say. Yeah. Don't hook up there. I get that.
Yeah. 28 is not old. No. I get where he's at, but here's the thing, he let his resentment get too fucking far. That's the thing, it's like, he was not cool with it, and he let it get too far, and so he said a really hurtful thing. That's where he's the dickhead.
Years and years. That's why I said 28 is like...
She's definitely struggling, she's definitely like, I will say it, it's very, this is what's hard, is when you are supporting your partner, it's very hard, you have to be very honest with yourself about what that is. Because if you're like, I love you, I'm going to support you. It's like, no, you have to be very honest what it looks like. Because resentment is going to build.
Because if you're having your partner come home and they're complaining, they never have any money, they're sleeping till noon, that is really stressful on the other partner who's spending a lot of money. But I just don't think either of them were super honest with each other. And she probably doesn't feel good either. I doubt she's like, yeah, I'm gonna sleep till noon and I got my sugar daddy.
I mean, I don't know her. She probably feels shame and guilt and all that stuff. But like... I just think a lot of couples, they're not super honest with themselves. I think so many times in your relationship, you're going to be the one who's making more money at some certain point. But a lot of people handle it differently. Some people hold it over the other one's head.
Some people are like, well, I've been paying for everything, so you have to do this thing with me. So it's... I just don't think the communication was given out. I just think that's a really harsh way of going about it.
She's going to have to accept.
Even if you do make it, you could go all the way back to zero.
Or he has a clown room.
To me, no.
You have to be working all the time.
Because I get to go, and there it is, and I never have to step in there.
Yeah, that's why I feel like him taking care of her wasn't necessarily the right step.
But if it's everywhere, if we're sharing a home, if it's everywhere, I mean, this could be a big deal.
It's brutal. And I will say, when I first moved out here, yeah, I was working all night as a bartender, going to auditions during the day. But it made my work better because you're constantly on. You're constantly meeting people. You're constantly getting ideas and inspiration. And that's why I just like,
I think he thought that it was helpful because he cared for her but in fact I think it hinders Yeah, so much because I mean she's sleeping till super late.
Like she is killing me.
If you believe that your partner is going to do what they need to do, then you can support them.
Stand-up is really frickin' hard.
And you will always be doing the 1 a.m., 2 a.m. slot for years and years and years and years.
Someone said, a good friend of mine when I first met him out here was like, I mean, it'll take you 10 years just to maybe scratch the surface. And I remember being mortified by that. Because I had this whole image like, okay, I'll come in, I'll do my work, and then, you know, maybe I'll move back home, and then I'll go from there. And it was like ten years later.
I think it's the masks.
I mean, I bartended for eight years out here. Ten years later was when I was finally like, oh, I see what's happening here. Postcards to casting directors don't work.
Because those are a little creepy.
It doesn't exist anymore. I don't know if it, yeah.
Are those two gonna get together?
OP's like, you're so right. Can I get your number? Yeah.
Watching them?
And it's probably the first time he's ever really had to experience this. And he doesn't do stand-ups, so he's probably like, okay, a year, okay, that's not bad. Whereas we know in the industry, that's not possible.
No, people who book huge shows are still doing fucking open mics at 1 a.m.
That's the shit that I think about though. I'm like, that mask is going to take me to another fucking upside down place and I'm going to be stuck there.
She probably got lit off all the soda or something. She was just having a sugar high.
I mean, it is kind of embarrassing. Okay, I would say if I was in that position, oh, God, but she was just being honest.
But she brought this punch to other work events, so people already knew about the punch is what she was saying. But she said she didn't put alcohol in it this time.
So then in my opinion, I will say maybe she should have put a note like non-alcoholic punch.
Right, but not.
Why am I drinking this juice all night?
Here's the thing. These stories all have a theme. It's like these people get stooped and they blame the other person. It's like, hey, I get it. It's embarrassing. Totally. Take a moment to process. Don't send an angry text to someone who literally just made a punch.
I'm just like, people, just... Take, you know, take ownership of your stuff. But, like, I get it. Poor Sandy. She must have been so embarrassed. Like, what if she fell and broke the chair? It could have been.
Whoa!
So that's a different situation. That's different. I feel like that's something separate. That person should do their own post.
Something separate. But I will say, you could be drinking non-alcoholic beer and you're like, ooh, I feel kind of... Falling off a chair, though?
Maybe lay off the punch. I think it's the Sprite. Wow. I think it's the Sprite. It's like kids at sleepovers when they drink Mountain Dew.
Did you see him screaming down the hall? He ripped off his shirt. I was like, Spencer?
No updates.
God, see? Clowns are scary because he makes them scary.
I have a hot take about this already, so let's go.
Sounds like she simply can't afford the trip and I don't really blame her. Yeah, man I I would say not the asshole I think some of these bachelorette parties are out of control and they're very like they're just too much They're very controlling and the amount of money you can't expect people to spend that amount of money like that already three different dresses and hair extensions.
Also, some women don't want to get hair extensions. Like, that to me is overboard. So I think it's actually really honorable that she's going to pay for the Airbnb and then be like, I'm so sorry. I literally cannot afford this trip.
Well, you don't know their wedding plans ahead of time. So when someone asks you to be a bridesmaid, you usually don't know their plans. You're kind of like, oh, okay, great. You usually think it's like, maybe two days of a wedding or something like that. But you don't know that it's going to be all of this. Expectations on a look. I get that for one day. It's really tough.
Sometimes you have to be like, okay, I gotta do my hair, I gotta do all this for one day. But three different dresses. A four day trip. Yeah, this is out of hand.
Sounds like it was planned by the bride, maybe?
Maybe her maid of, I feel like, maybe her maid of honor did it? Yeah. I don't really know. Bachelorette parties are so, they really, they can be anything that you want them to be. But like, I just feel like you can't, everyone has to be all in.
Because we've all, I mean, I've been invited to bachelorette parties that are like four days, hour drive, super expensive. And you're like, I just don't, I don't. And then you do it, because you do it. And then you're there and you're like, what else are we getting? What else are we adding to the tab? Or we're going to this fancy dinner, we're all gonna split it?
really sweet.
Yeah.
Like birthday, birthday parties even. Yeah. If it's your birthday, some people go,
To me, I'm like, it's upsetting to make someone hide away their stuff because it makes you uncomfortable. Like, clearly clowns is a part of his whole... That's his vibe, man. ...vibe, and you have to... I hate, suck it up is just the wrong, it's the wrong phrasing. Suck it up, I don't enjoy that.
Oh, okay.
Milk is good for that.
Oh my God. I'm speechless. I... I'm speechless. Honestly, this poor woman is going through so much right now. She was losing her hair.
Also, you can cut your hair whenever the F you want.
She wanted a uniformed, really controlling look.
Yeah, he did well.
He should have wore the mask and said accept me.
Nightmare human I mean I can't we can't really be too shocked like we saw all the signs were there for this Woman to be off, but this is this is bad now now okay court is Is a law here's the thing I think sending an invoice for what she paid for hell. Yeah fucking great court
She doesn't even have one of the dresses in her possession. This is three days before, which is essentially like any place can charge if you cancel, what, 72 hours, 48 hours, 24 hours?
Right. Quartz is just going to take like a long time. It's going to, you know, make the wound fester longer. I just, I don't know.
Well, what kind of information are they getting fed?
They were probably in Chicago like, I can't believe Amy is not here.
She's letting the whole vision of her wedding completely take over, which totally does happen, but this is to the extreme.
Yeah, that's true. How has the friendship always been going?
Stop! What the heck?
Oh, this is so good.
This is a season finale. Also like... This bride, $808. You really made this woman who's going through health issues and everything wait to get that money?
Like, I'm just like.
I'm very proud of OP. I love that.
Also, what was her evidence? It might have played a part.
She kind of sucks, and that's what it is. I'm the bride, anyways. Actually, my boundaries are that I cannot be guilty.
Wow, vanilla milk.
Thank you for having us.
Hey. So you guys were roommates, huh?
Well, here's the thing they're not together and they're not living together, but I will say if he's like we'll be whatever We'll just go over to your place. But again, yes, that will be so it's like, you know, my sister's She was dating this guy and he had this rocking chair that she hated it was like but it meant so much to him She hate the rocking chair.
So she made him put it like, when they were living together, like deep, deep, deep in the basement. So you just open the basement.
Just a rocking chair. So then I had to experience the haunting. So there are other people affected in this situation, is what I'm trying to say.
That we know of. Here's the other thing. I think it would be a different story if a clown has affected her in a bad way. Her dad was a clown.
Yeah, it was good until that whole thing happened and it got bad.
Oh. Oh.
I think it's the masks. I think that threw her over the edge.
But we're good.
I think he's adding more to the collection and she's like, uh-oh. I thought we were kind of chilling for a little bit. I thought that was enough.
He kind of went... He kind of went the opposite direction with that update.
Well, here's the deal. He never mentioned that the masks were over the bed. That's a big one.
I'm telling you, it was all the masks. If he just moved them away from the bed, that's not too crazy to ask.
He's like, see, I did it. And now I'm going to be single forever and fill up my house with clown shit.
This is what I don't like. This is the shit that I don't like. If you said that to me, I'd be like, we're moving the fucking mask.
Yeah, that sucks.
Yeah, you're right.
It's so true. Honestly, yeah. But masks, no thank you.
I would say, actually, now I'm going back, I don't think it's weirded out. I get, like, cringed out. Sure. But weirded out, not really. OK. I could meet probably the weirdest person. I'm like, good for you, man. Hell yeah. It's awesome. OK. I love that.
It depends on the gift.
Yeah. I want to do that. Unless there's a flash flood.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, my passport was expired for a whole year. Wow. What?
There's endurance fit. I mean, unless she needs to do a bunch of...
it just happened one day i looked at my passport and went oh this is old uh so i and then you know like i didn't want to like i i tried to get it renewed and like went to fedex and i was like i heard you guys renew passports and they're like no we don't and i was like okay um so just kind of sat in my room for a while and then i did it online it was super duper easy whoa really yeah yeah Okay.
Sorry. Was this like a loop? It wasn't like an out and back?
Because they would have passed her in that case.
Also, getting an Uber from somewhere near the Grand Canyon to your next hotel, that's going to cost more than just booking a new hotel.
I mean, everybody was pretty...
They trained, but I don't think they're... They trained for themselves.
Yeah, and also if she was under-equipped, what did they leave her with?
I took my passport photo here at the office with, like, crappy light, and they accepted it. Like Smosh? Yeah. Photo doesn't look great, but I got my passport, so I'm ready to travel the world.
No, because this is their dream to do this hike. They've been training for it, and that's all they cared about. But then say no to this. Not that I'm excusing what they did.
I'm going to guess late 20s.
Climbed and I'm pretty sure was 110 degrees when I did it.
I want to go to Austria, but I feel like I kind of, like, I want to go, like, when it's, like, green and there's waterfalls, and I feel like now it's probably gotten snowy.
He's going to be talking about watching the Big Bang Theory.
I also wonder if he's not communicating how he's feeling about this whole situation at all. If he's like, no, no, it's fine. Yeah. It's fine. No, no, it's fine. And so I wonder if she's going along with it because she has no idea how uncomfortable it makes her.
Right. No, I do agree with that. I don't know. Because I think if he says you can't go, then he's acting on his insecurities. Yes. She's never done anything to him that's ever made him question her loyalty.
So I think...
Yeah, it's not an ideal scenario.
I recognize like, yeah, clearly they were, at some point, they were attracted to each other. And they had sex. They had sex.
No, but I would have questions. Like, are you guys going to be sharing a tent?
I'm trying to think of scenarios worse than this. And I hear a week and I'm like, whew. A week is a long time. A week is a long camping trip.
Stop, stop.
It's fine. I'll invite my other friend, Fuck Fuckley. Dr. Fuck Fuckley.
I mean, I think this is the perfect opportunity to do a solo trip. I mean, Ireland? Plenty of green grass. Check out the Guinness factory.
I've still never been to Ireland. You must go. Make a solo trip out of it. Fuck that guy.
Yeah. He's a real person. He's a real person. Yeah, we know that.
Yeah, yeah, there's plenty of stuff to do in Ireland. Enjoy the time. But how soon is, how,
Stop. Do they even have Lucky Charms in Ireland? Probably not.
He's like, heroin!
Update.
The guy was Barry Keegan. Oh my god.
There we go. I was gonna say, she could meet her own boyfriend there.
Yeah, I mean, I won't tell you. Yeah, I'm going to be there.
Yeah, I'm not going to tell you, though. I'm just going to be like, hey, this Guinness place is pretty cool, right?
I got to watch Derry Girls. Oh. Oh. Yeah. I need to watch that. I need to watch that. Then I'm going to come back with a sick accent. Just such a good accent. Yeah.
Oh no, the vibe's been ruined.
I feel like there's just like zero self-awareness. Some people just aren't self-aware.
Yeah, I mean, he's kind of on some baby shit. It really sucks.
There's no doubt. His feelings were obviously hurt. Yeah, rightfully so. Yeah, I mean, that sucks to hear.
I think, like, I mean, at the end of the day, I think he felt... so embarrassed in front of all his friends that he couldn't stand to be around him because he's probably thinking in his head, they're all judging me for this and I just need to leave. And so I don't think he realized that when you just dip out on something like that, your absence will be all people are going to talk about.
And that's going to make everything way worse.
He did it. Yeah, he was probably in his feelings. He did what he felt he needed to do to feel better. He went golfing. I'm sure that was... nice for him, but when you're thinking long game with your friends, doing that is kind of a dramatic thing. I don't blame him for wanting to leave, but I think it would have been a much better idea for him to work it out there.
And also, if he didn't leave, everyone would have forgot about that.
But now it's like, why is he gone? Oh, yeah, because he was the safe option, and that's what caused this whole thing.
Okay.
Guess I'm not the safe choice.
Not very safe. No, no. Not safe, no. No, no, no.
You know, I was thinking the whole time. Not very safe.
The whole time I was thinking, like, this is the perfect setup for a slasher movie.
There's a nicer way to say it.
Think about this is saying the same thing. he was a safe choice, and he makes me feel safe. It's the same thing, but one is incredibly disrespectful, and one is a really sweet thing to say.
I tried to come to Greece with her and her sister.
It's legitimately like self-sabotage. Totally. Because he's clearly extremely insecure about this whole thing and his choice is to run away.
If he hits a wave... And he's sitting on that craft. That's not. Dangerous.
It's not safe. Watercraft.
Yeah, dude. That's not good. He's safe and he doesn't have balls. Also, do you drape like one ball? Like, do you drape one ball to one side, one ball to the other side of the thing that you're on?
Do you suck them up before you get on it?
I'm not.
Sure. Never jet skied. Do you want to? Yeah, sure. I'll jet ski.
I've just never had the opportunity. Jet ski is like one of those things where it's like you're on and you're like, oh, my God, I'm having so much fun. And then after like 15 minutes, you're like. It's the same thing.
I did jet skiing up at Big Bear. We can go to Big Bear. On the mountain? You want to go to Big Bear? I've been jet skiing for so long. Yeah, there's a lake.
There's a lake at Big Bear.
Yeah.
I float off. A lot of times I don't feel good. Because it does kind of remind me of when I was in Japan for one reason and you and Damien were in Japan for another reason. Oh. And we were in Tokyo at the same time and we met up. Yeah. You know, we met up a few times.
But it was like we had our own thing that we were doing. Totally.
Yeah, we did, yeah. For lunch. We're on the same. Ian happens to always be.
So travel stories.
But I think the mooching thing kind of has me a little bit... I somewhat suspect that.
Yeah, I mean, I totally agree with what you're saying about, like, just speaking to your feelings about... Just being like, I want this to just be my husband and I. Yeah.
Yeah, and if you can't respect that, then that's fucked up.
Okay, I think the roommate, I think the two of them went there and the roommate was at the hotel like, hey guys!
Yeah, but I mean, it's our fun little thing, Amanda.
We were on the flight to Kauai and I was walking down the aisle and I went, huh? That really happened.
He doesn't care. I care. It doesn't seem like you do. I care.
Yeah. Shane.
You know, feelings matter. Feelings matter in these situations.
But maybe she's in love.
Yeah, but I'm not gonna listen to that. But you're not really thinking about this.
Hello.
Pongy?
I love that.
Oh no.
Mm-hmm.
100%.
Wow.
How did—
100%.
Yeah.
100%.
Mm-hmm.
100%.
Yeah.
Wow.
Okay.
100%.
Oh, you're so right.
Not surprised.
When your parents read you bedtime stories to fall asleep?
Yeah. I mean, honestly, I'm picturing someone holding a book and driving. Is that what you guys want? Is that real reading? I'm picturing someone running, going for their morning run and running with the book and trying to read as the book bounces versus just listening. It's hands-free.
Yeah.
I've never even considered that.
Yeah, having a song read to you. Imagine your favorite song. All of a sudden someone's just reading the lyrics poetically to you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hmm.
I wonder what the comparison between listening to a book and reading it or vice versa would be. The same book. How would the experiences compare and which stands out more to you? Which did you take more from? That would be an interesting comparison.
I mean, it makes sense. You know, in the music world, when you hear the songwriter that originally wrote the song sing the song from themselves, it's their experience. It comes across in a whole different way and it connects on a different level.
It's kind of the same also when there's a reason they have authors come to libraries and read sections of their book.
Because they're reading it in a way that maybe you're not interpreting it as maybe the voice in your head is not reading it as they intended.
And when you listen to an audio book, I'm sure some of that intention's baked into the notes of when you read this section, when you do this, it's probably read in the way the author's intending.
Yeah.
Well, and it makes it go faster, right? Because when you're focused on something that's not just the same lane you're trying to stay in for hours and hours and hours, you know, because most of the time you're probably not driving through mountains and beautiful landscapes. You're just on a straight road forever.
And if you sit there and you're just kind of going through that monotony, it's going to feel like it takes forever.
And when you put something on that you can listen to, you're like, oh my God, I'm here.
That's awesome. I love that.
Versus, oh, I'm on page 200. Oh, I'm on page 75. And then you're just disconnected. You're on your own journeys. You're not sharing the experience. And now you can't.
I like that.
I honestly think we should make this the standard because remember in school when you'd get the textbook and then have the little CD in it?
And the CD was the audio version of the textbook?
I would always use the CD and listen to it and do way better than just reading through. And I think a lot of students would.
I have not seen whatever you're looking at, so that is pretty crazy.
I mean, it's the reality of life today, right? We're in our cars, we're walking, we're doing chores around the house, whatever it may be, we can listen to an audio book. And why would that be an issue for someone who's read the book? Because at the end of the day, when you read or listen to an amazing book, what's the first thing you wanna do? I wanna share it with my friend.
I wanna share it with my mom. I wanna share it with whoever it may be. And if they can't sit down and physically read the book, would you rather have them never experience the book in any way? Or would you rather have them experience it and connect with them on it, even though they went and listened to it and they probably had a better experience than you did?
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bye.
Hi.