Allie Schnacky
Appearances
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
This actually just recently happened to me.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
and it was with one of the closest people that i would literally trust with my life and so it really caught me off guard if i'm just being honest it hurt really bad when i heard through the grapevine that the that the person had shared with multiple people something that i had entrusted to them the lord had asked me to give up and surrender something to him that was really valuable to me and now what was hard for me to just hold to myself and
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
Now everybody knew, you know, and that really hurt me. And it was somebody in my life that I didn't want to lose. And I think the easy thing in those situations would be to completely cut off that person and never talk to them again. But the truth is, it says in scripture that love holds no record of wrongs. And so I did what scripture said. I confronted that person. My heart was hurt.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
It was shattered. It was broken. But you know what they had? A repentant heart. And not everybody has that. Not everybody's willing to say, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. And actually... like earn your trust back, but this person did. And so they're still in my life. And there's a saying, and it's so true. It says, trust is earned in drops and lost in buckets. And it's true.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
Like trust takes so long to be earned. But if you betray someone's trust one time, like I'm probably not going to tell that person anything for a really long time. Not because I don't love them, but because when somebody does something like that, like you just have your guard up a little bit. If that's what they struggle with, like I'm just going to keep my mouth shut.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
But I'm so encouraged by this verse in Colossians chapter three and it's verses 13 through 14. And it says, Make allowance for each other's faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. And it's so humbling when you read that. Make an allowance for each other's faults because God's forgiven me.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
So when I love someone, I literally take their burdens on as if they're my own. And so my best friend actually in high school, I remember her going through this season where she was just kind of going down a path that, you know, she didn't really want to go down. And she would confide in me with these things that she was doing that she knew weren't right. And she felt so shameful about it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And so I felt that burden because I loved her so much. And I remember one day just getting ready, me and the Lord and these thoughts of, were tormenting me in my mind of like the things that she told me. And I was praying and asking God, Lord, how do I forget these things? Like, I love her so much, but I just can't stop thinking about these things. They're tormenting me. I don't know what to do.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
Like, I want to treat her like you treat her. And the Lord hit me so clear in that moment. And he said, stop bringing up something I told you I've already forgotten. Hmm. And it took me a second because I knew that didn't come. I told you guys, God comes. And I know it's God speaking because it's a thought I would never have. Like, I'm not that smart.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And so when God hit me with that, it was not only so encouraging to me with that relationship, but it was also encouraging in my own life when it comes to shame that It's so easy once God has forgiven us to hold on because we don't understand how a God that's so perfect when we're so sinful could actually forgive us and wipe our slate clean. But he does.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And why would I stand in a jail cell that's already open for me to walk out of? And so when it comes to being a good friend, I think that that's the very thing that we can do is remind those people that, yeah, that's what you might've done, but it's not who you are. Your mistakes don't define who you are. What God says about you defines who you are. He's so much more.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
like concerned about who you are now and what you do now than what you did back then. And so confiding in each other, being real yourself, encouraging, pulling them up, not reminding them of what they did, but who they are, where they're going has been impactful for me. So good.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
Amen. When you were talking- There's the word of the Lord. No, it's so, you know what? And that's the most powerful thing we could ever do right now is read what the word of God says. You know, and it reminds me so much of this verse. It's in Proverbs chapter 24, verse 16. And it says, the godly may trip seven times, but they will get back up again.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
but one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked. And that verse always encourages me because it reminds me what defines me is not how many times I fall. We're all going to make mistakes. Even still to this day, I'm going to make mistakes. What defines me is if I get back up again and say, I'm not going to stay down in who I was. I'm going to use this.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
The bad that the enemy intended for evil, it says in scripture, God can turn for good. He can use our worst mistakes to set someone else free and encourage us. And so shame is such a liar.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
I think the biggest thing, because I felt that. First, I just want to say I have literally felt that. We all have. And even still to this day, there are things the enemy loves to remind me of that I could sit there and I could dwell on and it would bring me to a really dark place.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
But like you just said, Candice, I choose to believe that if God said he remembers my sin no more, I'm going to believe it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
Period. Yeah. But I know for me, I had to learn in my life, and this changed everything, that if I, and I brought this up earlier, but if I was not willing to give up that thing in my life that I was feeling shame from, I was never ever going to get freedom. And I think that's where a repentant heart needs to come into play.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
Because if I want to repent, but in the back of my mind, I still have an open door to the enemy where I'm like, Lord, I'm repenting, but I'm kind of double-minded thinking I'm still going to fall back into it again. the enemy can just run wild in my mind. I'm never going to get true freedom. Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
But if we're really ready to surrender and say, God, I know this is going to be hard because I've opened this door. I'm going to have to train myself to not do this, but I want you more than I want this thing. And it's not just immorality or things like that. It's like, for example, when I was a kid, I really felt called to sing. And then I bought into a lie. I wasn't a good singer.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And I feel like I wasted 15 years of my life buying into that lie. How God's ever, how is he ever going to use me now that I wasted all that time? but I'm not going to believe that lie anymore. And so in Acts 3, verse 19, it says, repent then and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And so if you repent and you say, God, I really don't want this anymore. And I'm not just going to say it. I'm actually ready to surrender it. Repent, turn to God. Yeah. And he will give you that refreshing, you know?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
I think for me, We, not one of us has ever not done something we regret. We wish we could take back. And so I think that that is probably the most comforting thing that we can understand first going into this conversation is, I mean, I even talked about it in the last episode is there are even things in my relationship
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
I'm bringing that up, not because it's the only area of my life, but because I believe the enemy uses relationships to bring on so much shame when boundaries are crossed. And for me and my boyfriend, Austin, it's not like we ever went all the way and crossed the boundary. We said we never would, but we crossed a boundary that we had put in place. And I think that for me, I realized quickly on that
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
Shame can be a vessel and a vehicle to drive you deeper and deeper if you don't identify it right away. And so for me and Austin, our relationship, when we first crossed that boundary, the enemy would come into my mind and tell me, well, you already did it. So you might as well do the next thing. You might as well go all the way now. You already messed up. You're already impure.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
You're already not perfect. And You know, that was a lie straight from the pit of hell. And so that's really what I want to start this with is identifying like, we know who God is. He is love. He is joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control. He calls us higher. He convicts us because He wants the best for us. He doesn't condemn us to keep us down.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And so recognizing that if shame is not God, It is the enemy trying to steal, kill and destroy and rob us from our God given identity. And I think that that's the first place. The first thing I really wanted to share is if you're feeling shame, just know that God's not putting that upon you. That's the enemy trying to drive you away from him.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
You know, I even think back to the garden of Eden, the first sin ever committed when Eve ate the apple, gave it to Adam. What was their initial instinct?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
It's like the longer it sits in the dark, the more it has power over you. Yeah. And I know one of the most impactful things for me is when you keep things in the dark, the longer you keep them in the dark, the more it can fester in your mind. And the enemy can drive you into this mental mindset of you're a horrible person. You've disqualified yourself from how God wants to use you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
Why do you think you can do this? Why do you think you're that? Nobody wants to talk to you. like shame's whole purpose is to drive us away from our identity, our creator, the people that love us most because we want to go hide away from them. Like, I know for me, my sisters look up to me. I know it. I'm their older sister, you know?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And, and I don't know if you feel that with your siblings too, but for me, I want to set a good example for them so bad, but I also want to be real with them so they don't, repeat the same things I did. And so the other day, actually a couple of weeks ago, there was something in my life that, you know, I wanted to keep in secret.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And I ended up sitting with my sister on my bed and just telling her, it just came out. And in that moment, she confessed something to me and she said, Allie, I've been dealing with that same exact thing.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
And in that moment, all of those lies that the enemy built up in my head for so long about who I was, it's almost like a weight was freed, not only from me, but from her too, because I realized that thing that I felt like I'm the only one that does this. I'm the only one that feels like this. You're not the only one that is going through the struggle that you're going through.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
The Bible actually tells us like,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Moving Past Shame
you're like that what you're going through is not not common to mankind but jesus came he was tempted in every way that we were yet he had victory and so we have that hope of having victory so i think it just goes down to from there how do we actually have a repentant heart so that we don't have to stay in that shame but we can really be free yeah another thing that i know personally
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Oh, that sounds so sad.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
You were 18? How did you, like, how did you, you were on set, I'm pretty sure like every single day almost. Yeah. For eight years. Like a school season and then you get the summer off.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Yeah, I still live at home with all of my siblings and my parents. And honestly, I'm excited for this topic because I feel like it's so... It just fits with what I'm going through right now. Me and my boyfriend have been transitioning into getting engaged and just the whole idea of leaving my family. Wait, so you know you're getting engaged? Do tell, do tell. Okay, guys.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Yeah, I think one of the biggest lessons I ever learned in life, because like I said, I was a transition hater, was that every single time God forced me into a new season, I would never choose it. And I think that's where this new season with getting engaged is so different than the rest is. Before it was high school ended, you grew out of dance. Your best friend moved away.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Like it was nothing in my control. I was just forced into it and I had to just deal with it, right? But this one, I actually had to choose like, okay, I'm stepping into this next thing. But I think what gave me confidence to do that is I've seen in the past in my life that every single time God took something away, He always brought something, if not better, just as good. Every single time.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And I think, oh my gosh, how much would I have missed out on had I stayed in the same seasons that I never wanted to leave? It's so true. Like high school. I didn't want to leave high school. I bawled my eyes out when it ended. I wasn't going to see any of my friends, you know? But I would never be where I am today. And I love where I'm at today. Yeah. You know?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
So I'm a little different than the normal girl. Okay. I like wanted him to know that I was ready for him to ask me before he asked me. So I told him, just wait until I tell you that like I'm ready for you to ask me. And so just this last year. And you knew though that he was ready.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Go ahead, Josh. I have so much on my brain. I have a question for you. Sure. So I'm just thinking about like these people, right? That are listening. And you said like you felt called by God to move to another state. How do you, how did you like know you felt called, called by God to transition somewhere? Hmm.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Yeah. So me and my boyfriend, Austin, we've actually known each other since we were 14. Okay. And he's my brother's best friend. And then 2021, we went on our first date and we've just slowly been climbing since then. But he's been ready to be married to me for a long time. Okay. I'm more of the one I, y'all, this is like such a good topic for me because I'm a transition hater. I hate transitions.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Yeah, that's wonderful. Beautiful. You know what it makes me think so much about? Just the fact that we're all running our own race at different paces.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And I think for me, like just hearing what you're talking about, it is so easy, especially when I was single and all my friends were dating to look at all their transition seasons or when they were going to college and I did not want to go to college. I didn't know what college to go to. I didn't feel called.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And to almost feel like I needed to manufacture in my own strength a transition in my life just so I could keep up with what everyone around me, my age group, people in the same social realm as me were doing so that I felt like I wasn't falling back in life. But when I really realized like, no, God's plans for us are so unique to us and we don't want to miss what he has for us.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And our timing is completely different than other people. It changed everything for me. And my grandpa actually told me something a couple of weeks ago that impacted me so much. And it reminds me of what you're saying, but he was basically telling me he lived his entire life waiting for the next thing. And he was never truly content.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And what I love about you, and I've been learning so much in this, is God always calls us to be uncomfortable. At least with me, I've realized that whenever God's calling me to do something, it's always something that's too big for me to handle in my own strength so that I have to grow and I have to rely on Him. And there's a difference though, between being comfortable and content.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And I truthfully believe when we're really doing it right, we can be growing and uncomfortable, but we can be content on the inside because we know that, you know, we have everything that we could ever want when we have God. And when we have people around us that love us, community,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And so my grandpa told me a couple of weeks ago and it impacted me so much that when he first started his family, he was always striving for more. And he felt like he missed out on all of the like joy that life had to offer. And it actually killed me hearing him say this. And he basically was saying like, He'd build a house for like him and my grandma that would be perfect for them.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And then the second that it was done, instead of resting in it and actually enjoying life, he'd go and he'd buy another house and sell that house. And it broke my grandma's heart because she just desired to be there with him so bad, but he was always chasing something better. And he said for the first time in his life, he's I think close to 80 years old now.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Okay. And so I think that fear of leaving my family and leaving the house and never having that back. Like, you know, everybody always says, once you leave, you never have it back. It's the blink of an eye. And like, I can't even remember what it was like with my siblings. I think that all of that fear over the years, just like maybe even kept me in a season a little too long. Wow.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
He was sitting down in his little house, the smallest house I've ever had with a little coffee and sipping it. And he said, this is the first time in my life where I feel like I've been truly content. And I've, I've bought into the lie my whole life that I had to do more. I had to level up when really all I ever wanted was right in front of me. I just didn't take a second to really embrace it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And sometimes God calls us to seasons where everyone else is transitioning and we're really just called to embrace where he's brought us, you know, and that's okay. That's a great thing.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
nerve-wracking for you or um what I mean what word would you use to describe it I would say nerve-wracking but honestly as I as I really press in and like pray about what God's called me to do in this next season I really am just so comforted because all of the fears that I used to have about leaving my family and it almost feels like it feels like you're breaking up with them
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Even, and honestly, they're probably going to hate me for saying this, but I remember the day that I sat my actual siblings, my parents down and I told them, hey, I told Austin, like, I think I'm ready to make the next step. And so he's praying about when to start asking me and all these things. I remember they all started crying. I was crying because it was so hard to bring up.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
I procrastinated for a long time. I think I told Austin like maybe two months before I told my family. And so you procrastinated telling your family that you were ready to get married. Yes. And what's what's what I really want to clarify, too, is they want the best for me. Like we all want the best for each other, but we just love each other so much. Yeah. But that transition is really hard.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And one of the comments that was made to me was, I can't believe you're trading us for him. And oh, my gosh, I know one of your family members. Yes. And they said it out of love. They said it out of love. You know, they were just sad going through it. Yeah. But it hit me so hard and it hurt me so bad because I almost like bought into that lie. I think of, am I literally ditching them for someone?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Like they've been there my whole life. And I realized when it comes to God and what he has for you, he just adds on more good things. And I honestly think that has to do with a lot of transition. And so I'm so excited to dive into this.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
If he's your brother's best friend and now your future husband. Guys, my boyfriend Austin lives next door with my brother Noah. Like literally next door. He could he could not be more family than he is right now. My family could not love him more. It's just the transition season that's been a little rough. But I'm I truthfully am in my heart so excited.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
We've already been looking at lots in the neighborhood, but I also have been praying like, Lord, as much as we want this, what do you really want? Because I hear so many things too about, you know, when you get married, moving a little bit away just to establish your new life together, not being able to run across the street to mom's house. Right.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
So not since I was 14. No, they just knew each other when they were 14. We grew up together. We've only been dating for two years now. Oh, got it. But Austin was actually my first boyfriend. He was my first kiss. He was my first just everything. And When I was in high school, I wasn't allowed to date. So that was probably a big reason why. And for me, a lot of kids don't like that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
But for me, I actually really loved it because I felt like a lot of the shame and bad decisions I probably would have made, I didn't just because I had a rule in my family. And I also got to form really cool connections with people and learn what I did and what I didn't like from the people that I was close to. But
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
What I love about what you were saying about Natasha was that when you really love somebody, you want them to go, even if it hurts you. And it's been cool watching my parents transition through that and how they're genuinely wanting me to step out now and to what God has for me next. But
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
It reminds me so much of this friendship that I had in high school with this guy who I wouldn't say we're dating because we really weren't. I wasn't allowed to, right? But he was like my best friend for probably a year and a half, close to two years, which is a long time. We were facing all the time, hung out all the time, like seriously, just one of the best people that I knew.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And even still to this day, it's one of the greatest people And I remember it was one of those things, and I'm sure some people can relate to this, but when you're that close to the opposite gender, somebody is going to catch feelings a majority of the time when you're that connected, that close. And so that was our story.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
I felt like I knew in my heart, even though I loved him as a person, I didn't think he was the person God had for me. And I kind of knew that in my heart. And I thought as long as I communicated that to him, even though I knew that he liked me like that, As long as we were on the same page, you knew where I was at. I could keep him in my life. I didn't have to lose my best friend.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
But time after time, the same conversations would happen. And it finally got to a place where it was just hurting both of us too bad to be in the air that we had a conversation. And I really had to say like, God, Is this the person you have for me? And if not, I have to love him enough to let him go find what you do have for him.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
And that was honestly probably one of the hardest conversations in my life, especially when you're young, too. You don't really. Of course. And that's so mature, too. It was rough. But you know what? It felt so right. It felt so right. And that next year, it hurt me so bad. I did not talk to anybody that next year. I was friends. I was done with guy friends, done with everything.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Just Lord, next guy I'm close to, please let it be my husband. You know, we all pray that and just pray God, please. And sometimes it works like that. Sometimes it doesn't. But yeah, that was probably one of the hardest things in my life. But I grew so much through it because the truth is, is love really does want you to like go.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I actually am curious about a question, Natasha. Have you ever been asked in person? Yes. On a date? I've been asked probably.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I was never one time asked on a date in person, only through online, even people I knew. I mean, Austin asked me on a date in person. He was the one exception. But like through all my high school years, most of like when people would be in college, like those years for me, I was only asked out over text message. How did that make you feel? Was it just normal or?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I think that we try in situations like that to act like it's normal. you know, because it's the normal. It's true. It's true. But for me, I think deep down, I wish they would have just said something in person because it takes a little bit of the specialness away, especially if you know them, like you're going to see them tomorrow. Right. Why don't you just be a man and ask me?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
It almost makes you in a way like, yeah. Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Yep. I think every girl wants to be led by a confident guy. Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Yes. When a guy is just bold. Yes.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Yeah, for me, I had never dated besides Austin. And so before him, I literally spent every day of my life with my best friend, Carol. She lived with me in my bedroom. And like for seven years, we spent every moment together. Saturday was our day. And so when I felt like the Lord called me to see what was there with Austin, the only day I really had off was Saturdays.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
And so that was a huge transition to tell Carol like, hey, I love you, but I also really feel like I'm supposed to see what's here. And I want to be married. That's a desire of my heart. And honestly, I think to a default, just because I didn't know better and it kills me to say, but it's just true.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I think I was that friend that just kind of was around, but constantly with my boyfriend, because not even because I didn't want to be around people just because I I feel like I had so much pressure I put on myself to know if he was the one right from the beginning that I thought if I didn't spend every second with him and figure out what it was, I was going to waste my time.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
And I realize now looking back that I was only hurting myself because one person's not meant to be everything for you. And every relationship fuels me so much in such a different way that as months went by, I realized they were part of myself that Austin brought out that I loved.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
But they're also part of myself that I was missing because I didn't have those relationships in my life that I had with my best friend, my girl. I could go talk girl things too, because if you've got a boyfriend, husband, brother, you know, they just think different than us. They do.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
No, but that was definitely, I think, probably the most challenging thing in my relationship with Austin was that transition with my best friend and honestly feeling like I abandoned her. And are you guys still best friends? Yeah.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
might be like ah this stinks like it's not my it's not a season for us to be together right now and hang out as much as we used to but they would understand that oh and she totally did i think it was just so new for us yeah and it's funny because now it's reverse unoed on me because she got married first and so i'm i'm like watching her in that transition and realizing okay ali like
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
That is who she's called to be best friends with now. So you have to take your hands off and like let him lead. But it's been a really cool season. And honestly, there's just such room in our lives for so many different relationships. It's just navigating when the different times for those relationships are.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
have you set physical boundaries do you have physical boundaries before dating did they evolve over time i think for me my situation's a little bit hard and it's not really the normal because my boyfriend literally basically lives at my house like he literally lives next door to me and we work 24 7 together and so before our relationship especially in the beginning when we first started even going on dates we weren't officially dating
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I remember us talking about boundaries that we wanted to have so that we didn't slip into anything physical before marriage, just because for us personally, we believe the Bible says that that is a covenant between husband and wife. And so we want to uphold that to the best of our abilities.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Um, especially too, because when we first started dating, my goal at the end of it was marriage, but I didn't feel like I was anywhere near the place where I could be married. So I knew that that was going to be something that we had to put in mind, but I never had kissed anybody. I didn't really know the temptation that came with that either. And so I thought it was going to be easy.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Like, oh yeah, like we'll just have boundaries. And that boundary is just don't go there. Right. I thought that's all I really needed. And I quickly learned that that's not all that you need. You actually need like, Hey, don't come over to my house. Hey, don't do this. Don't do that. And so we have those for a while. Wait, back up there.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
So usually your boyfriend doesn't live next door. So Austin can literally come over at like 2am and walk in and we'll hang out. You know what I mean? But that's something we're trying to fix right now, you know, but to go back to what you said, like, For us, my dad has a rule in our house where our door has to be open. So if Austin's in my room, my door has to be open. My sisters are upstairs.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
My friends that live with us, they're always walking through the halls. So that'll keep you in check real fast. A boundary that me and Austin have is if there was anything to ever happen, which honestly there has been, we have to tell his dad, which is so embarrassing to like bring up to somebody that you respect.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
No, we set that. You guys made that boundary. Yeah, I think when you slip into things in a relationship, your first instinct is shame and to hide from people. And we realized like we can't fix this between me and you because unless it's brought to the light, we're gonna keep repeating the same thing over and over again. We need someone on the outside to pull us higher. and to hold us accountable.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
And so that's what we did is we pulled in an authority figure and my dad and my brother too. And even my mom are always great people that I can go to. My sisters, you know, they struggle in their own ways. So we have a pact. Like if I do something or they do something, we have to tell one another because we got to lift each other up in prayer.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
My sister is a walk in my room when Austin's in my room late and say, what are you doing here?
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
go home right we'll just be sitting there oh we're watching a movie well you know what time it is yeah and in the moment you're like mad but one point that i really do want to make is in the beginning of our relationship we would set boundaries like hey don't come in my room past 10 and we'd last for a while and then one oh we're not gonna do anything like we're just gonna yeah watch a movie eat cookies like have fun and one of us would go to the other person's room right
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
And I learned very quickly that if we don't even keep the promises and the boundaries that we're setting right now in a relationship when we're dating, why are we ever going to trust ourselves to keep those covenants in marriage?
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
And I think that that's something that we're trying to undo is being people of our word, even when it comes to things that are justifiable and decisions that we make even right now.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I didn't say that. You've dated a lot of people. Just shows like how much though we view the, like how heavy we view the word dating because it's not like she said, you've been in a relationship.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Not a relationship, but you've got on dates with a lot of people.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
A nightmare? No, I'm just kidding. Um, I would love to hear what you have to say, Natasha, because I also was my first boyfriend, so I didn't date that much either. Okay. But honestly, I learned so much about like kind of the unrealistic expectations that we're taught to have when looking for a significant other, especially in the church.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
And I think that's really what I have to add in this conversation because it's things I wish people would have told me. Got it. I've had my ups and downs dating.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
You're welcome. Something cool you just said, it sparked this verse in me. There's a verse in scripture that says, delight in him, he will give you the desires of your heart. And I just want to encourage the girl listening to this that is single and so desires to be married and be in a relationship. that God has not forgotten about you. He has not overlooked you.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
When he formed you, he put those desires inside of you. And I truthfully believe that as long as you're seeking him, you will be on the right path to gain every good thing he has for you. Like it says in scripture, he withholds no good thing from those whose walk is blameless. If we are pursuing him, if it's not good, it's not coming to us. So he will make it perfect in his time. And
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I just want to encourage you guys that because when I was in that season, it felt so discouraging. Yeah. Like God, have you forgotten about me? But he hasn't just hold fast to who you are and don't feel bad about your desires. You know, he's going to grant them. I truthfully believe that's his heart. Yeah. Yeah. Me too.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Yeah. I know for me, something that's been new is I've been getting outside and going on prayer walks and it has radically changed the way I hear from the Lord. I just wake up in the morning and I do a walk around the block without any music. And I promise you guys, I feel like, I mean, if you think about nature, the way God created it, this is what he's been showing me.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
It says in scripture that if we don't cry out to God, if we don't praise him, that the rocks will cry out. And if you really listen to nature, it's almost like God has created it in a way that everything is singing praise to him all the time.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
So when I'm outside, just listening to the nature and the way that he's created it to be and just commuting with him, like something I've been doing is praying the armor of Christ over myself every single day. Like, God, I put on the breastplate of righteousness. I put on this as I walk around the block. It has literally transformed my life and strengthened me throughout my day.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
So that's something you guys could add into your habit. Also just being at a life-giving church has radically changed my life. Every week we just started going to this new church and y'all, Being with people that have radical faith literally is contagious. It gives you radical faith. And it does. So I would encourage you, if you don't go to church, get plugged in.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
It'll change your entire walk with God.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Let's start there.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Yeah, honestly. So growing up, I shared this on one of the previous podcasts, but I was never allowed to date. My parents had a rule in our house where until we were 18, we were not allowed to go on a date. And honestly, a lot of kids probably didn't like that. I personally loved it. My dad, he always, he's actually here right now, but he always gave us this analogy of a sports car.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
And he said, okay, because I'd have conversations. If I liked the guy, I'd be like, oh, like, Why, you know? And he always said a sports car, like if a young kid went into a Ferrari store and was like, I want to buy a Ferrari, the people would look at him and laugh him out the store because he can't afford it. He can't afford to buy that car.
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
But once he like actually works hard and he applies himself and he learns like what it takes to actually be able to afford that car when he has it, he's going to treat it with so much more respect. He'll learn how to drive it. Like it won't just be something that he gets really fast because everyone can afford affordable cars.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
But how much more precious is a human being is basically what he used to tell us. Like if a car is worth that much, how much more are you worth? How much more is a soul worth? And so that was kind of his philosophy with not letting us date. Were you allowed to hang out in groups though with guys that you like? Just there had to be other people around. Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
And honestly, that was a huge blessing, too, because it wasn't like my parents were to another extreme where I couldn't even have guy friends. I was constantly surrounded with guys older than me in my age, especially because I had older brothers. Right. And really, it took the pressure off of me, too, because if a guy liked you, you had that out like, oh, I can't date.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I can just be friends with everyone. Right. Right. And in that, I think it really showed me through those friendships what I was looking for and what I did not want in a future relationship, whether it was just through my friendships with guys or because I was watching them in relationships and how they treated girls and they felt safe to tell me. And I thought, Never. Right? Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
So just yeah, watch and learn. A lot of people have this mentality. Like you have to go on a ton of dates to figure out what you want and don't want. But for me, that just wasn't my story. I felt like I really learned through my friends, my brothers.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
So for me, I've known Austin since I was 14, but I definitely did not know that I was going to end up with Austin since I was 14. It was one of those things. It was, I had a crush on him when I was 14. And then we had this falling out and didn't talk to each other for like seven years. Oh, wow. Yeah. And it was really ended up just being, we liked each other. One of those stupid things, right?
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
So cute. Yeah. You know, God has his timing for everything. But I remember Natasha, I love when you talk cause you're so relatable, but One of the ways I know for me that me and my best friend would constantly look for people was on social media. It sounds so ridiculous, but I mean, once you graduate from high school, you don't go to college, where else are you going to look?
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
There's really nowhere to go for kids our age anymore. Like when you're kind of in that college age group, there's not really a lot of youth groups. You've kind of outgrown youth groups. So even if you're trying to meet people in church, if they're not there on Sunday, what are you going to do? And so- I have some friends that have met their spouse on dating apps.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I personally have never done that. But yeah, I find people on social media.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
So what was overwhelming to me wasn't the thought that they lived far away only because I wasn't really thinking like that when I was looking on social media. I more just thought they were cute. I knew they loved God and I wanted to make a connection. Sometimes they didn't love God. I just thought they were cute, you know, and you're just like, yeah, Lord to convert, you know?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
I haven't heard that. You win some, you lose some. But I think FaceTime is something that is actually a blessing. My best friend met her significant other actually through a video game. Wow. So weird. That's crazy. She played a video game for a week.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
met her husband on that game and ended up FaceTiming with him for, I think it was like a year straight, got to know him in a way that wasn't physical, formed a really deep bond. And now they're like married together, live in Florida, like having the best marriage. And I think that's, there's pros and cons.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
So dating online, I think, especially when it's far away, you form that intimate connection without that almost like opportunity for you to slip into things you're not supposed to if you are a Christian trying to hold those morals. But I think for me, something that was really hard with dating online or looking for people online was I had too much information about what they were doing.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
And so it created trust issues. I don't know if you dealt with this. Yeah, for sure.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I think for me, I'm constantly having to check my heart posture. Like, am I sharing this right now? Because I know it's going to do good in an algorithm. Am I sharing this right now? Because it's a strategy to make me more relatable or I feel like people deserve to know this part of my life because the truth is nobody deserves to know anything from our lives. Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Or anybody that's listening is lives like you don't have to share anything. And honestly, Natasha, that reminds me so much of the season that I went through in 2022. got really sick. I was in my bed the entire year on oxygen.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And I decided in that moment, when I was kind of rocky in my faith, like I'm going to post on my YouTube channel and just let them know what's going on in my life, that I'm kind of struggling in my faith, but I'm choosing to continue to believe that God is who he says he is. And I'm just going to get real and put it out there to give people hope of how to get through it while I'm going through it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And I posted this video hoping to encourage people with the heart to encourage people. And I got this comment that I never forgot. And it basically said, well, I looked up to Allie so much for my faith. And after seeing that she's struggling with hers, my faith is over. Like I'm done. Oh, no. And I literally felt- I don't know why I just nodded.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I don't know why I nodded.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
No, and it hurt me so bad because my heart in it was to encourage people that, you know what? I feel this way, but I'm choosing to believe who God is, even though I feel this way. and it's still people interpret it the way they want to. And I really had to get to a point in that where I realized we're not gonna be able to please everyone.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And so we just have to do at the end of the day what we feel is the right thing to do. God is not scared of our emotions at all. He's not scared of our questions. And as long as we're holding onto our faith, like I read the Psalms of David praying and saying, God, why have you abandoned me? Like, I feel like you've left me. Don't let my enemies defeat me.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
But at the end of every single one, he's like, but I will continue to trust in you. I know your plans are good for me. I'll continue to hold fast to you. And so I think there's nothing wrong with being real online and showing the areas you're weak in. as long as you're doing it from a pure heart.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Honestly, for me, I just think to myself, like a faith is such a huge part of my life, not because of the way I grew up, but because when God spoke my identity to me, it changed everything about the way that I live, that it's never a question in my mind if I'll ever stop doing it. Because I desire so bad for people to be set free and know who they really are. You know? That's awesome.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Oh, it makes so much sense. And I will say, it made me think of this. I think an area that I do struggle when it comes to my faith and posting about it in The Perfect Christian is, I just started this podcast, the Jaywalkers podcast this year. And so I've been speaking a lot more about my faith every single weekend. I'm getting more comments about me and, oh, is what she's saying like that?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
That's not as so dumb or is this even right? Or how can we trust this girl? She's so young. And so I think an area that the enemy attacks my mind is not if I should post about God, but if I'm worthy enough to talk about God. And it reminds me so much. I was reading scripture last week and I was in Exodus and God really used this story in the Bible.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And if you guys are new to your faith or you're just kind of discovering a lot of times when you read scripture, God will literally show you yourself in a story and just speak to you like crazy. And he did this with me. And I was reading this story of Moses when God calls Moses to stand before Pharaoh and declare that Pharaoh let his people go out of slavery in Egypt.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And Moses, when he gets this call, he's scared. He makes every excuse why he's not qualified, why he's not worthy. And finally, the Lord stops him and says, Moses, who made a person's mouth? Who decides if they speak and do not speak, hear and do not hear, see and do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Like you go and I will give you the words to speak. And the Lord strengthened my heart so much.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And I hope this strengthens the heart of you guys that are listening and maybe feeling unqualified because of comments or even things that you feel about yourself to do what God's called you to do that. As long as you're obedient, the outcome is on God. All I have to do is my part and he can change people's hearts. He's gonna give us the words to speak. Like he has it all under control.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
We just have to say yes. Yeah, that's so good, Allie.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Like that would probably be a good thing every once in a while to remind people. Or like going back to the basics and saying, this is how I learned to read my Bible. Yeah. I get that all the time. Do you guys get that question all the time?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Yes. And you know what's so encouraging too, if you're feeling that, is we all started somewhere. I think about every new year's resolution when I decide I'm going to get really fit and go to the gym. I feel so awkward when I go in that gym because I feel like people are looking at me. I don't know how to use the machines. I don't know what to do. I feel out of place, like a baby in there.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And so I don't go, I'll go a week and then it's too intimidating for me. but I'm only hurting myself because the truth is, is every single person in there started from somewhere. Nobody walked in and was the most ripped person in the gym. They all started at a day one.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And so just encouraging you, I started at a day one where the Lord, maybe I grew up in a Christian household, but I really didn't know him for myself until I was like 17. And I know like same with you guys, you guys started at a day one, The Bible even talks about don't despising small beginnings. So if you wake up today and you pray to God, that's enough.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Like the Lord is only focused on our heart. Yeah. How freeing is that? Like, that's it. Just our heart.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
We love the Q&As, girl.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Can I just say something really fast? It was so important that when you read that, you didn't take it personally and you didn't. When you just read that, it just hit me so hard because when I first hear comments like that, because I get those comments all the time, my initial instinct as a person is to get so offended and to be like, when did I ever say not in a nice way? When did I say that?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
What do you really know about me from what you've seen online? What do you know, right? Mm-hmm.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
But when we are willing to die to that feeling of feeling offended and realize that that person feels that way because of what they've seen modeled for them or out of a root of hurt, it allows us to come in in a spirit and a posture of love and offer them exactly what you have, which is that freedom that comes from Christ. And so that was such a cool thing that you did there. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I appreciate that.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Oh, you weren't. No, that's why I love Natasha so much because I was a tyrant. I was that one in my family too that you never knew what my next move was going to be. And were either of your brothers or your sisters, were they like the perfect children? Were you the one? My brother. And he always said, like, still to this day, he's probably the person I look up to most in the entire world.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
The person that could hurt me most in the entire world. Like, I just love him so much. But honestly, like perfection is something for unbelievers and believers. Hmm. that is probably like the biggest weight that you could ever try to achieve and honestly is impossible. Whether you are a believer and it's what you feel with these people messaging you saying, why do you think you're perfect?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Like I could never, I could never do that. Or I mean, I had that really real feeling too growing up. I told Natasha this story. When I was young, My best friend got baptized. And I mean, like I was probably 10 years old. My best friend, I thought she was so holy. She got baptized. So I thought I had to get baptized too to be as holy as her, but I didn't even know. I didn't get it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I didn't have that connect. So she came out of the water crying and I felt like I had to pretend cry coming out of the water because that's just what I thought you did when you were a good person that loved God. And as I got older, I really think that God shifted my perspective on religion versus relationship just because of the example my family set for me. I knew they weren't perfect people.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
I had seen them mess up. I had seen the fights we'd all gotten into, but every time they went back to God. And so I felt safe to be imperfect with him. But I think where this topic is really important to me is Growing up, I told you guys I grew up in a dance studio and it was a Christian dance studio. There was this group of girls in particular that I wanted to be friends with so bad.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
And they were a great group of Christian girls. But when I really got the inside scoop of who they were, they weren't inclusive. They were mean. They were nasty to each other. They gossiped about each other behind each other's backs. Like, we're happy for each other at all. And I realized like, if this is what Christians are really like, I don't want to be anything like them.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
But as I dove into what the Bible really was, I realized Jesus is nothing like that. And so I knew that I couldn't control what they were doing. but that I could control what I was doing. And I knew that I probably hurt people like that in the past and I don't even know. So how do I not be that? How do I bridge that gap?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
Or... Honestly, that never sat right with me. Like, everybody has so many videos of themselves crying. I don't have any videos of myself crying. I don't know why I don't think to grab my phone, like, the second something's going wrong.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Being a Christian In Public
That's probably a really healthy thing.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And then Jaywalkers Worship, is actually, it was our youth group. Like growing up, my family felt called to start a youth group. And through the years, God has just transitioned it. And now it's a worship collective. I do a podcast because we believe worship is just using what God's given you to bring glory back to Him. And so I speak on the podcast. I interview like-minded believers and...
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
We do a lot of music and now we're just trying to use everything God's given us to really advance the kingdom.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Yes, on YouTube, Spotify podcast and also Apple podcast. OK, great. Our music, too. OK, awesome. Natasha, tell us what you're up to these days.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
When you were talking about being at lunch and not forming connections with new people and not making friends, it's so crazy because I feel like with social media, we've never been more connected than we are right now and so lonely. Yes. And it blows my mind sometimes because I'll actually have people come up to me and say to me,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
oh my gosh you have so many friends like you have so many friends you couldn't need any more friends and i actually don't really have that many friends i just have family and i have people that know me on social media which is so different there's a difference between a friend and a follower yeah it's so different you can have lots of followers doesn't mean you have a lot of friends
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Well, and I think our body craves that in-person connection so much because that's how God intended us to live, you know, in community with one another. And I was even talking to one of my friends who's single and she told me, I said, so what's it like being single right now? Because I'm trying to set you up with someone, right? You know, we have those conversations.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And she's like, honestly, Ali, guys don't ask me on dates because they wait until they're not near me so that they can get rejected online. They don't want to face you in person. I'm like, man. Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
No, but it's even friendships. Like, I'll pass by somebody in the hallway. It's so true. And nobody, like, they'll act like they don't even know who you are. And then they'll message you, hey, I saw you here. It's so weird. It's really bizarre. Dude, that's weird.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I don't know why. Natasha, there's something in the air with me today. I've been honored to be here for this. I've been loving it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Yes? Yes. Yeah, for sure. And honestly, I just want to be really clear. Social media is not a bad thing like I thought it was. It can be used for so much good. Absolutely. Some of my in-person real life best friends I've actually met on social media. Mine too, like Sammy. Yeah. I just think the issue comes when, you know, this social media world is realer than the real world. Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And that's where I think this shift needs to happen. But we don't have to be defeated. Like we can literally just set boundaries in place so that we can remember.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Yeah. It refreshes you. It really does. It's so fueling. We actually just had that experience. So I'm from Florida for those of you guys that don't know. And we just had a huge hurricane that came. And I remember talking to my dad afterwards because our extended family, our friends, my siblings, like we all come together in the same house and
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I remember telling my dad, obviously we're in the middle, so it's not too scary for us. But I told him it makes me sad that I look so forward to hurricanes. Like I literally look forward. Because you guys are together.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Yes, like I look forward to a horrible natural disaster because it's the one excuse that brings us together where we're not on our phones and everyone slows down enough to actually like, talk to one another, you know? And it reminds me so much of that verse in scripture. It's in Hebrews chapter 10 verses 24 through 25.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And it says, and let us consider how we may spur one another on towards loving good deeds, not giving up meeting together as some of you are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another. And all the more as you see the day approaching.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And I think it says like, when it says not neglecting meeting together, and I read about it so many times in scripture, the power of community, I really believe God's put that in place because it really does refresh us and do something different to where we're empowering one another. We're stronger together.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And if we're constantly just on our phones all the time, we're missing a part of who God's created us to be.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
It just reminds me so much. I just want to say, this is not just a conversation for people our age. Like parents scrolling their phones like crazy and so do grandparents. Yeah. You know?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Well, I love that you brought up your son and your husband because truthfully, I would have never pictured myself on social media as much as I am. I was one of those people that didn't like going on it. I honestly would delete it off of my phone every other day because I just hated being online. I hated the way it made me feel. I hated comparing myself to people.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And really, I viewed it as just a vessel that was all evil for a long time in my life. I did not see any good in it. And I think that that's so... interesting because God usually always calls you to things that you never picture yourself doing or in.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And so in 2020, he called me to go on social media and really be a light to people to be where people were, you know, and that was really hard for me. I've really struggled to do that because I hated it so much.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
No, even to this day, if I'm being completely honest with you guys, I, it would be way easier for me to just delete it off my phone and never look at it again. It's just not, it's not something that I love.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I think that's a really, I think that's a really cool point because I feel, and actually Natasha, I would love to hear what you have to say about this too. I feel like sometimes ever since being on social media, I've realized that it's not what I thought it was.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Like I've seen so much more good come from it than I ever could have imagined, which is why I'm still on it, which is why like I literally, I love going on now because I have actually made so many online connections through it. But sometimes I do feel like I'm missing out on in-person connections at an expense of like having my online connections. And so I don't know. Does that make sense? Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Like sometimes I feel like I have to choose. I don't know.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
What is doom scrolling? Okay, so I've never had an issue with this in my life. Like I said, I was not even a social media girly, but recently...
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I've been sucked into this realm of what we call doom scrolling, which is basically when you open your phone to do something or you look at one video and you literally scroll so long, you don't even know when you started and now three hours went by and you don't even know how you got there. Oh, I do scroll.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
All of us have doom scrolling.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
me yeah that's so my mom too she loves those animal memes i know but you don't even know how you get there and i know i honestly feel like the longer you scroll the funnier the videos get totally because then you're just your brain is mush now we're encouraging everyone to do scroll i No. Okay.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
So what I was saying was recently I've been in this weird like cycle where it's happening every day, which actually I broke it the last couple of days, but it was happening for like a continual week where I would sit there at night and I would scroll for literally two or three hours. And then my entire next day would be thrown off.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And I was telling Natasha, I started to realize I was waking up super anxious and like honestly depressed. Hmm. And it was weird because I wasn't even comparing myself to people. I was just scrolling and watching funny videos that in a natural sense, I thought would have brought me joy because I was laughing. So I don't know why I'm feeling so depressed.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And so I began to research it and I thought this was really interesting and I might botch this, but you guys can just bear with me. I read this article that basically talked about how every single 19 seconds, dopamine is released in your body when you're scrolling on social media. And so what dopamine is, is it's a hormone in your body that basically is your pleasure hormone.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
So it makes you want to continue to do what you're doing, right? We all have dopamine, like dopamine when we laugh with somebody, when we're out with a friend, when something good happens in our life, when we eat something that tastes really good, it's just whatever brings you pleasure, right?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
But what this article was saying basically is that social media and doom scrolling is linked directly, like you said, to depression and anxiety because what it's doing is it's training our bodies that dopamine can be released every 19 seconds to where now without our phone or a normal moment, it would be like three minutes.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
my body is craving something else because the give and take isn't as fast. Yeah, it's the instant gratification. And so you're not as fulfilled living actual real life life with people because your body is so accustomed to this immediate release of dopamine.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Right? When you break it down.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
Yeah. So I always felt called to do ministry growing up and I didn't know how God was going to do it, but through social media, he started my ministry chosen in free co, which is a women's ministry just based around finding your identity and then connecting you with girls that really help you discover what God's purpose over your life is. And so that was something I needed.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I literally have to lock my phone away. I know that sounds so extreme, but it's true. What you said earlier in the beginning of the podcast about how when you're in a social situation and you start to feel anxious, your immediate response is to grab your phone. I've realized even in my relationship with my boyfriend, Austin, when we're in the middle of an argument,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I will want to work it out with him and I'll pick up my phone and start scrolling like this and be fully present, listening to him, not even really looking at what I'm looking at, but it's become so much of a comfort vessel to me that I can't think clearly unless I'm scrolling. Oh my goodness. I know that sounds so crazy. And I just realized this.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I literally just realized this this week and I locked my phone away and was like, oh my gosh, God, there's something off in my life because this should not be what is making my mind function. And
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
So a story that I actually have is this last month, actually, I went on a retreat with the girls in my ministry chosen in Frico and we went to the beach and we decided before we went that we were really gonna take that time to form deep in-person connection and pray and really just grow in our faith together. And I was so excited for it. And what we did was we locked our phones away.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And when we did that, It was a great idea until I started to literally feel like I was breaking free from a drug like that dopamine I told you about is what is released when you take drugs. And so I felt like I was a drug addict feeling like I needed to reach for my phone or look at something. Yeah. And the first day or two, I was a little bit off, but still fighting it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
But I'm telling you guys, when you actually disconnect for a second, My memories from that trip, I don't have as many pictures as I normally would a normal memory, but my memories in my mind are so much more vivid and my connection that I made with people that I love was so much deeper than it would have ever been had I have had my phone. And obviously you guys are listening.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
You're thinking it's not a realistic expectation for me to throw in my phone all the time. Like I work on my phone and that's my life too. But I'm just saying, finding that balance of, okay, maybe it looks like in your daily life, I'm going to work from nine to five on my phone. And then at night, my phone is going on the opposite side of the room in a drawer. And I'm not looking at it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
And so, you know, God created a burden in me to start that for someone else. And he's just grown that we do in-person events, Bible studies. We have an Instagram page that girls just connect. It's really cool, especially because I mean, like you Natasha, I didn't really have that community growing up. So to be able to provide that for girls is just a huge blessing. And I'm part of it too.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Is Social Media Killing Our Ability to Be Present?
I will make a connection with my mom, with my daughter. I'll call up a friend, you know, has been really helpful. Natasha, have you ever gone without your phone?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Social media is so trained us to focus so much on ourselves 24-7 and not on others. Number one, it's a good thing we recognized it because that's the first way to change. The Lord is constantly refining that ugly spirit inside of my heart that I don't like. Like, I don't want to be that person. So let me do something to combat it and drive it out. Fill it up with something else.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And it almost made me angry because I love my brother more than anything. And I hated that I couldn't just be happy for the people that I loved, that I couldn't be happy for my friends when, you know, they were succeeding and doing good because I felt like I was, I wasn't good enough, you know? And I think that's,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
That's really where knowing your true identity in Christ comes in because you can't ever celebrate someone you're competing against. We have to figure out what that root is.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
You know, I love that you said that because it makes so much sense. And I remember listening to people talk when I was kind of newer in my faith and thinking, what are they even saying right now? And so for me, that moment when I was in Brazil was just the beginning kind of what I called broken free. It was really a thought that came in my head that I knew was not my normal way of thinking.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And so I thought to myself, this has to be something else. And for me, I grew up in the church, so I identify it as the Holy Spirit in me, as God, you know?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
and after after that trip i went home and this was really i believe the moment that god really broke me free i was in my bed growing up i always felt like guys didn't like me the ones that i didn't like liked me and then the ones that i like i never thought could like me you guys know how it goes and i was so heartbroken one day in my bed because of this relationship i had built up in my head that was not even real this guy probably didn't even know me that well
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And I was sitting there looking at my phone, just broken, crying to God, Lord, will you ever bring the person that you have for me? I'm comparing myself to my friends that are in relationships. God, I'm so faithful. Why aren't you bringing this for me? And the Lord spoke to me in that moment by a thought. Again, I didn't hear a voice. It was just something that contradicted how I normally think.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And I realized there's something different going on here. And I heard the words in my head, stop acting like you're not worthy. When I believed you were so worth it, I sent my son down to earth to die on a cross for you. And for those of you guys that don't know Christianity is that, you know, aren't a believer. Maybe this is the first time you're hearing about Jesus. That's the gospel.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
God, we believe, loved his creation so much that he sent his one and only son down to earth to live the same way that we live, to experience all the pains and suffering that we experience, but conquer them so that through him, we could be free from those things. And in that moment, I really was like, you know what, God, I can sit here and I can feel worthless the rest of my life.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
or I can accept who you've called me to be, which is chosen. He says that in scripture, not just about me, but about each and every one of us. So if you're listening to this and you're like, well, this is the first time I'm hearing this. I want you to know, and I want you to know like you are chosen by God. That means to be selected as the best option.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And what's so amazing about that is it's the best option for what he has for you. I will never be the best option for what he has for someone else. I could try to put on their clothes. I could try to act the way that they act, run their race. But at the end of the day, it's only going to hurt me because God created me for my race. And that's what's going to fulfill me.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Yes.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Is it the same for like you guys too? Like if your kids speak encouragement over you, how does that make you feel?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
It doesn't stop is what I'm trying to say. It's so cool. The Lord's actually really been showing me that lately. Me and my sister were outside the other day. I don't know if you're like this with your siblings, Natasha. I could not be closer to my family. But for some reason, it's so awkward if I look at my sister and I tell her all of the things that I love about her.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Like if I'm like, Ella, you are the most this, this, this person I've ever met in my life. For some reason, it's just like awkward.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
It's kind of like when sometimes I pray for my sibling one-on-one, like I feel just a little weird, you know? Right, right. But we made ourselves do this the other day where we sat next to each other and we said, we are going to sit here for five minutes and affirm each other. And it was so awkward.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
We couldn't even look at each other in the eye, but it was literally like the Lord strengthened ours.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
It's so interesting that you just said that about yourself because all I hear in my mind is comparison is such a lie and it's such a trap that like tries to rob us from actually living with joy. It's so true.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And I was even thinking about me and my sister Ella's conversation when we were encouraging one another and it was so eye-opening to us because the areas that she was comparing herself was to me. And vice versa, like the areas I felt weak, I was comparing myself to her and we were able to look at each other in the eye and say, why would you ever compare yourself to that?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Like you're so great in this area and remind each other of each other's strengths because we're all so different. You might be prettier than me. but God's given me this gift, you know? And I think one of the best ways to combat comparison in my life, besides going to the Bible is honestly speaking truth over myself. Like what, what do I like about myself?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And there have been moments I shared this, I think with you, Natasha, but a defining moment in my life was I had this woman growing up that was I believe the Lord strategically placed in my life when I needed her most. And I was at her house one day, she would disciple me in this group of girls and she had us get this piece of paper and write on one side what we liked about ourself.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And on the other side, we passed it around and everyone else wrote what they liked about us. I sat there for 20 minutes and I could only come up with one thing I liked about myself. And it was that I'm real. Only thing I had to say nice about myself. And then everybody passed it around. They said these nice things.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And like you said, I kind of was like, oh, you guys are so nice, but you had to write something. I wrote it off. But what's so crazy about that is I look at how God's transformed the way I view myself as I've gotten closer to him.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And really, as I begin to dive deep into his word, it's not even God, show me who you've called me to be, but I just dive into getting to know who he is by reading my Bible or by listening to a podcast like this one, he begins to automatically transform the way I view myself. You know? Yeah, he does. I think that's a big one for me.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Also just realizing going back to my thing with my sister is we're all comparing ourself to someone. Not one of us is not doing it. And so just realizing like we do have our different strengths and just glorifying like, Lord, you've given me this. Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
It's so funny that you say that because yesterday when I sat over my bio, I literally told my dad, bios are so weird to me sometimes. So my name is Ali Shanaki, for those of you guys that don't know. And honestly, how people know me is a way I would have never expected. In 2020, God called me and my family to start social media and be a family to the family list. Like that was
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
during quarantine, a time where a lot of people didn't have their people and they were isolated. And so we just started making videos for fun, relatable family content. And the Lord really used it to breathe life into people and to connect them with an online community. And every, everything we do
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
is rooted in the heart of bringing people back to who their creator is, because we've realized in our own lives, that is where we find true fulfillment. And so God has just expanded our influence and we've tried to do everything we can to push it all back to him. And I started a women's ministry.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
We'll probably talk about called chosen and free community out of a season of my life that the Lord just really transformed my identity and broke me free from so many things that held me back so many years growing up with comparison, which is our topic today. I'm so excited to get into it because it's such a real struggle that even still to this day, I have to die to daily and say, Lord,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
you've created me for a purpose. I'm also a part of Jay Walker's Worship, which is our family. We have a collective and we all work together. And your family consists of? Oh my gosh, this is the hardest question you could ever ask me.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Because our family also has extended friends that are our family and we all live together. So I never know who to include and who to not. But my biological family, there's seven of us. I have two older brothers, Noah and Colby, and two younger sisters, Noelle and Ella. And then a ton of our friends live with us. Okay. And mom and dad. And mom and dad.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Yeah, I mean, I'll start. Comparison, I truthfully believe I was sharing earlier with one of the girls here, but I really think that that was probably the biggest way that the enemy came into my life and really tormented me growing up, tried to rob me of my identity and You know, it started off, I think, probably when I was in dance.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
I grew up in a really competitive dance studio and I had girls around me that were more talented in a world's perspective. You know, it was real. They actually could dance better than me. And so I constantly was looking at them. And if I was invited to the same things as them, if I was in the same dances as them to like determine, what I was worth.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And growing up to my brother, he grew up like completely in a social media realm, even before it was kind of a thing. Um, he was really in the entertainment industry. I wasn't, it was kind of a foreign world to me, but I would always go to events with him. And it's funny because even as I was praying about this podcast yesterday,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
I met up with one of my friends and we were walking and it reminded me of this time that I came to visit her in 2019. I wasn't on social media at all. She was, this other girl that we were with was also just an influencer online. And so I already felt kind of weird, like, I wonder if they're gonna accept me because they have all these followers.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
You just have this weird stigma of how you think people are gonna be when they have followers. They were so accepting of me. And I remember them bringing me into all of these different friend groups. And this happened many times in my life, even with my brother, where I would go with him into these opportunities where he would make connections with all of these influencers.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And I would think that I was becoming their friend too. And I would form these friendships with them. And then at the end of the night, we'd all exchange like Instagrams, contact information. And this happened in 2019 when I was here. But whenever it was my turn to give my Instagram to the person that I was hanging out with, they would follow everyone and never follow me back.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
I was the one person that they would choose to just not follow back. And I remember being so hurt Because I think I bought into the lie that if these people didn't even see my value and I was, I mean, I had hung out with them the entire day. I thought we were cool. If they didn't even accept me, how could God accept me? Why would he want to use me if they didn't even want to be my friend?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And it's crazy because I actually, I grew up in the church. Like I knew what God said about me in my head. I just don't think that my heart really believed it. And so that created a whole journey where I was constantly trying to advance in life to prove to myself and to others that I was worth something. And one of the most pivotal life-changing moments in my life was in 2020.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
I was called to Brazil. I wanted to do missionary work there. And when we were there, there was this day God actually called us to hike five miles in the heat. And we're so excited. I was so expecting like, Lord, I believed he was going to do something huge. And we hike up this hill. I remember not even thinking I was going to make it all the way up.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And we go and we knock on all these people's doors. We enter their houses. A lot of them didn't even have doors. I just thought it was crazy. We were walking in these people's houses. Hey, trying to like take together my broken Portuguese because my best friend's Brazilian. I kind of knew it, kind of didn't. And I invited all these people to this gathering at the playground.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
We were going to do this revival kind of ceremony night thing. And we invited a hundred people. And I remember I was so expectant praying, God, do a big thing, do a big thing. I believed it in full faith. And only five people showed up. And I hit me and I was like, man, God, like this is a failure. Like this isn't, why did you have us hike all this way for these five people?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And I remember just being frustrated, like I wasted my time. I'm tired. I'm thirsty. There's no bathroom. And the Lord, it was almost as if he spoke directly to me and I could hear his voice. And he said, Allie, I do not base value the same way the world does. My heart, like scripture says in Luke, is to go after the one. And that's exactly how I feel about you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Your value is not based on numbers, what people think about you, what your number is on a screen. It's just solely because you're my daughter that I love you. I'll do anything for you. And if your whole purpose in this earth was to be in this desolate little town where nobody sees you, nobody knows what you're doing, but I know that you're being faithful, that is more than enough.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
And it literally changed my life. I felt like in that moment, the Lord told me like, you know what? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter what these people, like I compared myself to what they thought about me, what I thought about myself. I knew that I was chosen by him, which means to be selected is the best option.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Yeah, I would honestly say with being on social media, especially, it's so hard to not go back into that old mindset I was freed from and base how sick, like how worthy I am off of where I'm at career wise. And that's something, honestly, it's crazy, right? Because when God breaks you free, from comparison by knowing your identity. It's not something that you're broken free from once.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Girls Under Pressure with Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- The Comparison Trap
Like I literally have to die to the thought of comparing myself every single day. And something that honestly, Natasha, when you were talking, it kind of sparked my mind because I went through that with my brother too, is I hated so much not being able to be happy for the people that I loved most in the world because I was so chained up by comparison.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
chapter three, verse three, it says your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braiding your hair or gold jewelry or fine clothes, but the inner disposition of your heart, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the Lord's sight. And so this, It would be easy for me to say when I went, I felt so confident or whatever, but I really didn't.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I went to church. I was obedient. I just, I looked like trash in my opinion, right? But I was so confident that I knew the Lord had called me to do that. And that if this was what he had for me, he was going to love me for who I am. The part about me that's not going to fade away. And so I met this guy this night. We had a great time and he ended up liking me.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And I remember in that moment, like it healing something on the inside of me. I don't have to. seek approval from people by just my exterior, but really the interior is the most interesting thing about me. Something me and Natasha both say is the way that you look is the least important thing about you. And it's so true.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Yeah. I do want to clarify, too. I don't want to take it to another extreme and say that if you love God, you can't dress cute. Like you have to have your hair wet and no makeup or anything like that all the time. Because the truth is, I really believe if we read our, like the word of God, he's an excellent God.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And that's why I think I, I so enjoy getting ready for church and going into God's house, like looking my best because he deserves it. And as his ambassadors, the body of Christ, I really actually do think we're called to look good. You know, hold ourselves well. We're going to talk about body image, like taking care of our bodies.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
But I did want to clarify that because so many times too, we think, oh, if they're a Christian, they can't wear this or do that. Or why do you care about materialistic things when really it could just be a passion of your heart.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I honestly, I love that we're talking about fashion and modesty because for me, what I've really believed is my truth. At least what God showed me is that fashion and modesty are two completely different things. Fashion to me is, you know, my style, what I choose to wear, what I think best represents the personality that God's created me with, which,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I know I have for sure. And I was sharing this with Natasha, but when I first started TikTok, I was revealing a lot more skin than I did now. And I think subconsciously, I never really knew that I was doing it out of a place of seeking approval from people. Looking back now, I see that that definitely played a part. but I really just thought that it was cute.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
It was trendy and I was putting it out there and it was, it was doing good. Like I realized my content did better when I dressed cuter, which showed more skin. And I didn't know, I didn't see a difference back. Like it's my head space wasn't there. And I want to make that really clear because you had just said on Thanksgiving that you were perceived a certain way, but your head space wasn't there.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And even in church, like what you were saying with that example, it's so important that when we do confront people, that it is in that love, because the truth is, is the first way to humble us before we go up to someone is to realize that I was that person. I was the person that probably wore something to church that they weren't supposed to.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And I wish somebody would have come up to me and give me the benefit of the doubt. But when I first started posting on social media, I did get comments about the clothes that I wore because I was leading Bible study and wearing these clothes and they weren't like super skimpy or anything. They just aren't where I'm at now. Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And I would write them off because I thought to myself, like, this is not, I mean, look at everything everybody else is wearing. And I would almost gauge what I could wear based off of what the culture around me was wearing instead of gauging what I wore based off of who Christ was. And a revelation that the Lord has given me recently
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
and you guys can bear with me because this is really fresh, but I really feel like God's trying to show me something in this, okay? Is I actually found this scripture and I've never heard this said before in a way of modesty, but the scripture says in Romans 13, verse 14, to put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the desires of the flesh.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And I realized, what does it really mean to put on Christ? And when I really start to dissect and think about putting on Christ in my life, waking up every single day, reading my Bible, reminding myself of what God says about me, putting on Christ, realizing I'm his ambassador. If I start with that first, everything else in my life is taken care of.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I know that when I pick my outfits, it's not out of a place of needing attention, like you said, or feeling like I'm lacking in a certain area, having to prove myself. But I'm already in a place of fullness, knowing my identity is found in the beauty from within me. I know what my creator says about me.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And now I can go and I can pick something based off of what I like to wear, what I think is fun, what I think is trendy, what represents me well. So I don't know, that's kind of a revelation that the Lord's been giving me recently. But going back to what you said, I still have comments about the things that I wear, but I'm the same way. I just realized, God, you've already grown me so far.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
where modesty is more like a heart posture because I truthfully believe I can be fully clothed from head to toe and still be immodest if my heart posture is to seek attention and approval from people. Starting this show off with fire.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
It's between me and you. And if nobody else gets that, that's okay.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Because I can't please anyone, you know, everybody.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
You're supposed to study. Okay. You're like, you're like 60% there for school. But yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
You left every girl's Hannah Montana closet dream.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I walked in your closet earlier and I said to the girls who were with me, oh, what it would be like to walk and have everything in your size. I know.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Oh yeah, my go-to is that slick back hair. I was just gonna say that. Y'all are gonna see that soon.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Boss woman, yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I feel like growing up, it's so funny because before we started filming this episode, I had pretty much half of the crew here approving my outfit because fashion does not come normal to like, it's not, it's not normal to me. Okay. It was never something that I grew up around. I think
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
when I really started to maybe peak an interest in fashion and cared a little bit more about what I wore was when my brother started dating his girlfriend who is literally drop dead gorgeous, like has the best style ever grew up in New York city, did a lot of like runway, wanted to go to school for fashion design. And so she came around and I was like, man, homegirl has it together.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And so she would kind of like help me and my brother and our family with our styles. And I actually started to realize, and this is what changed my mind about the whole entire concept of fashion, that when I dressed a certain way, I presented myself differently. Yep, absolutely. And people respected me more based off of what I wore.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And last night, as I was even thinking about this topic, I was researching and it's actually psychologically proven that when you're dressed up, when you're taking care of the way that you look or you feel confident in your clothing, that you approach situations better, that you can think faster.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I think CEOs said 95% of their hiring process is based off of what people wear because it makes them respect them more. And I mean, I've seen this in my own life, but very much like you, Natasha, on a normal basis. I live in Florida where it's 100 degrees out and we wear sweatpants and sweatshirts in the heat. So not shorts. Oh, no.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
You'll know real Floridians because they're in the sweatsuits and you're like, how are you even breathing right now? That's us.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Guys' clothes are just so much more comfortable than girls' clothes. They are. And they're cheaper.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Do you remember the first moment she walked out in makeup and a fancy outfit? Yeah.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Yeah, for sure. Like, honestly, I think a reason why I didn't like, it's not even that I didn't like fashion in the beginning. And I think a lot of people can relate to this. I just didn't even know where to start. I didn't know what matched with what. I didn't know what was trendy, what was not trendy. I would literally wear gym shorts and flip flops to school.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
My best friend would make fun of me just because I just didn't know better. I didn't care. Nobody in my family knew. And so when somebody came beside me and actually began to show me, hey, this is how it works. Also, you don't have to just be one thing. You can dress in a ton of different styles. Like you can experiment with a ton of different things. I realized I don't have to be boxed.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Like I don't have to have everything perfect. especially being in LA, the first time I came, I remember seeing people walking on the street and thinking to myself, those are some ratchet outfits.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
But they were so free and so trendy and everyone was so accepting of them that it really took that, I think, peer pressure weight to have it all figured out off of me to where I could really just enjoy it and it was fun.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Mm-hmm. Honestly, something that I wish people would have told me because they're so quick to judge when it comes to modesty. Like when you're a Christian, if you go out one time into the wrong place where Christians are and you're not wearing what they like, they'll make it known to you, right? Oh yeah, they will. And a lot of times not in a nice loving way.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
A lot of times they'll whisper behind your back. You'll get weird looks from them. You'll feel unwanted even in the church. And growing up in the church, I even felt like that. Like there was no grace or real love in the conversations at all.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
And something I wish I would have been told was that modesty is a complete journey because truthfully what I wore three years ago that I had no conviction about, and I loved God, I was pursuing him. I probably wouldn't wear now just because I really believe that God refines you for the next place that he has for you. And
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
I have so many stories that God has just done refining who I am, how I view myself. And a lot of it has to do with my heart posture. Actually something that I made the habit of doing when I was in high school was whenever I liked a guy, when I was in high school, I wasn't allowed to date. I told you guys this, but what I was allowed to do was invite them to church.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
So whenever I had a crush at school or I had a crush on social media, I would always invite them to my church because that's where I could kind of loophole everything, get away with it. I remember this time in particular, I had invited this guy to meet me at my church. And before the service, I was just in my room, stressing out, panicking. Clothes were flinging across the room.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Like my room is just a disaster all the time because I can never decide what to wear. And I remember in my heart, like the Lord saying like, Allie, you better put on your sweatpants and wear no makeup. wet your hair and go to church, the purest, simple form of who you are.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Is Modest Hottest?
Because if this guy is really who I have for you, he is going to be attracted to what's inside of you, not just what you look like. Wow. And I didn't even know about this verse at the time, but I wrote it down because it impacted me so much. And it says in first Peter,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Okay. And you want to know something in that moment? I actually remember there was a time where my dad, my dad didn't want me to hang out with this particular friend group. And this was not when I was even a child. This is when I was in college, like my college classes. And like growing up, I had this thing about me where I'd always tattle on myself.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
If I did something wrong, I just, I had a truth serum in me. I had to tell my parents what I did wrong. And so I remember being in like this college class one time and I had actually planned for my dad not to pick me up in this friend group to pick up me and my best friend. And we were so excited about it because we were getting away with it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
My dad usually can feel it out and he'll call me or something, but he wasn't. And so I was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe we're doing this. Right. Super excited. There were guys there. And I remember just eating me away on the inside, just eating me away. And so I finally decided, I was like, I can't do this. This isn't who I am.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
So I quick called my dad and said, dad, I planned this whole thing. These people are pulling up. Like if I can't go, it's going to ruin everything. And he ended up telling me like, Allie, thanks for your honesty. Like you can go with them. Right. And I'm so thankful for like that relationship that I have with him.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
But I look back now on that friend group and if he didn't have peace about it, he wouldn't have let me go. But in the long run, those really aren't people that I would want to be like. And it talks about in scripture how bad company corrupts good morals. And so I'm so thankful for those moments where my dad instilled in me that like
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
So for me growing up, I don't know about you, Natasha, but I did not have any friends. If you look at my friend group right now, I would say it's literally my family and God's put a couple of people in my life now that I'm super thankful for. But I was always kind of looking and searching for that friend group growing up. And, you know, as I got older, I realized that was a lot of people's story.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
You know, what's funny though, is I feel like I was so opposite almost to a default. Like from a young age, my dad always used to tell us, you don't have to go in the woods to know that they're dangerous. And I was like, that's so true. And so the Bible talks about like holding fast to wisdom. And I think, and I feel so fortunate because not everybody has wisdom.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
parents that are involved in their lives. But I believe that if you begin to pray for that person, God will bring a mentor into your life or they have them at church that you can talk to. And my parents would always guide me. And I knew that at the end of the day, like they didn't want to hold me back from fun, from good things, but that they loved me.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
And if they saw danger, they didn't want me to go. And that I had a choice, like my story, like I could have been sneaky, but I knew nine out of 10 times they were right. And even the times I went against it, they were still right. And that killed me to admit. So I would just rather go along with it.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
So if you're like that and you're listening to this, it was you too.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Yeah. I don't know why. And what was crazy about it is I was friends with everyone, but I never really belonged anywhere. Yeah. If that made sense. I knew a ton of people, but when I really needed someone to talk to, I literally had nobody. Um, and of course I had my family, but at this point my family was not like all together. Everyone was kind of doing their own things. I was in high school.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
It's important to remember too that every friendship is so different. Like I even look at how Jesus modeled his relationships with his friends. He had his inner circle who were kind of the people he ran with the most, his disciples that were all mission minded. They all were walking with him, believed what he believed, believed in him.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
And then he had the people that he was friends with that he ministered to. He ate with the tax collectors. Like he was literally described as a friend of sinners. And I remember in high school when I first started becoming close to my best friend, I told you guys like we did not share the same faith. She was Catholic, but she really wasn't a like she, you know, she grew up in Brazil.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
So they all just say they're Catholic. She told me we were all just Catholic. And I actually remember a lot of people in my life coming to me, not my family, but at school, coming to me and telling me, you are not supposed to be friends with her. She's the craziest girl in school. Like, what are you doing talking to her? She's going to lead you astray. She's going to do this.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
She's going to do that. And, you know, they even used verses against it. but something didn't sit right on the inside of me. And so I sought out what God's word said for myself. And I realized like Jesus was a friend of sinners. He didn't come to save the perfect people. He came to save the center, which we all are. And so in that moment, I really began to ask God like, okay, what are you called?
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
My dad and my brother were in LA pursuing what they felt the Lord called them to. And so our family was a little dispersed and it made it a little hard, but
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
What do you call him in to do? Because I don't want to be led astray, but also this is what we're here for. This is why I'm here. Also, I love this person. And when I'm with her, it doesn't grieve my spirit. I'm not in a situation. It's not like I'm going to the club with her. I'm going to a party with her. Like we're just hanging out.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I'm there for her to talk to, to like confide in, to pull her higher, like and invite her to church, to come with me, to hang out with me, bring her into my world, you know, show her what a life without all of these things that are driving her into shame really feels like. And I think if we are so quick to,
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
to have a Pharisee mindset of just shutting off people because they don't believe what we believe and it makes us uncomfortable, we're missing the whole point that we're here for.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
as the years went on my family kind of riled back together and so my friends are my siblings and are the people that i do life with with jay walker's worship and chosen and free and i really i really surround myself with the people that i want to be like yeah is the truth yeah yeah
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Yeah. Each and every one of us has free will. Yeah. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
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The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Never remember their faces. Guys, in a couple months, I'm going to come back here and see if Candace remembers my name.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Natasha, something you always say whenever we talk is that in friends, you seek out quality over quantity. And that's what you just said made me think of so much. I think when I was younger, I would see these group of girls or this group of people that seemed so cool or like I wanted to be like, because I didn't know who they were.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I didn't have any like morally things that I thought were good about them. I just thought they were popular. And so I wanted to be friends with them because if everyone else liked them, I want it to be liked by everyone else and I should too. And it's the older I get, the more I realize that quality in friendships matters so much. It's the most important thing that we could ever have.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
And so it's crazy to say that because I feel like that has really been my mindset recently to where before I would just look to feel like placeholders, like who can I hang out with on the weekend? Now I literally am thinking to myself, who has a quality about them that I lack in that I could better myself by hanging around them and vice versa.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Yeah, for me, I've definitely dealt with both of those, I honestly think that's a really fresh topic for me that we can definitely talk about because I'm, I'm a loyalist at heart. I don't let a lot of people in, but when I do, like I will go down with the ship. Like I truthfully believe that love never fails. Yeah. That's how, that's just who I am, you know? And I really believe love never fails.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
And so I will constantly chase after people. And I've gotten to this place where the Lord's like, That's not always what I have for you. And that's been really hard for me to swallow. But I have been so blessed with my best friend, Carol. The Lord brought her into my life. She was actually my biology partner in high school when we were 14 years old. That's how you met? That's how we met.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
I switched classes, ended up next to her. She was the only one without a partner. She was not like mine at the time. She was like the craziest girl in school. I had been so isolated my whole life. Like I was homeschooled. Like I, I've really ever heard a curse word. I sit next to this girl and I'm telling you, it was just one of those God friendships, divine moment.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
And now to this day, I mean, she lives basically down the street from me. She's my best friend in the world.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
The Lord definitely took us on a journey together. And now it's just it's such a life giving friendship. There are seasons where, you know, I'm the one really needing encouragement and she is. And, you know, that's a whole journey in itself that we could talk about.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
Like, especially when you're growing up and your entire identity, because you haven't formed it yet is based off of who you're friends with and where you're invited. It's like the second you work so hard, the second you get in on the in crowd, your parents are like, yeah, you can't go. Yeah. And that's, I think where everybody has that, that's saying so popular, you're ruining my life.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure- Having Friends Who Aren’t Like You
You're ruining my life, you know? Yeah. But it really does feel like that in that moment, because you're trying to find yourself, you know? And I think that's where it, it's so important for, I mean, can you look back now?