We're Out of Time
Jay Mohr Overcoming Victim Mentality & Checking Ego in Addiction Recovery
Tue, 14 Jan 2025
Jay Mohr joins the We're Out Of Time podcast with @RichardTaiteOfficial and cohost Jason LaChance for an eye-opening and hilarious conversation about Jay's journey from addiction to recovery, Saturday Night Live stories, and checking one's ego. For all things Richard Taite, the We're Out Of Time podcast, and Carrara Treatment Wellness & Spa: For 1 Call Placement: 888-808-6159 For more on Jay Mohr: Key moments from this conversation with Jay Mohr, Richard Taite & Jason LaChance. Intro 00:00 Jay shares a funny story about the Saturday Night Live skit "How Much You Bench". 00:34 What does Jay say was his "first addiction" and how did he break his victim mentality? 01:40 Jay and Richard share some funny stories from childhood and how does it make their struggles with addiction make more sense? 06:10 What happened when some guy threw a Coke can at Jay's car? 10:19 "It's such a weird job to be a comedian in recovery." 12:49 After Jay quit alcohol how did other substances take over his life? 16:08 Jay shares Saturday Night Live stories about Norm Macdonald, Nirvana, and Aerosmith? 18:03 Jay shares words of hope for anyone struggling with sobriety and a HILARIOUS Christopher Walken impersonation? 24:13
Chapter 1: What is Jay Mohr's first addiction and how did he overcome victim mentality?
And then I happened to have a tire iron. Then I took the tire iron and I smashed in his windshield. And then I went, yeah, I should go back to at least two meetings with him.
Hi, everyone. Before we dive into this great podcast with Jay Moore, I wanted to talk about something urgent. The fires in Los Angeles have been devastating and displaced so many, including those in treatment. If you or someone you know needs treatment during these horrific times, please call us. With our company, One Call Placement,
We will have people actually help you find the right treatment center for you. Please don't wait. We're out of time.
To my right, Richard Tate, the man who revolutionized addiction treatment. Good to see you, my friend. Thank you. I'm Jason Lachance, a certified addiction recovery coach. And on this episode of We're Out of Time, we're going to give this a James Caan, Godfather, trash can style beating. He knows why. How much you bench?
How much you bench? 240, steroid free, just like you guys. 240, you call to brag about that? Put the phone down. Other gays at the gay bar want to use it.
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Chapter 2: What childhood experiences shaped Jay and Richard's struggles with addiction?
Jay Moore, thanks for joining us.
Yeah, my pleasure.
I had to do that. One of my favorite cast members of SNL, so... That got me chills. That's like a dream come true right there, Richard.
Chapter 3: What led to the incident with the Coke can and how did Jay react?
That sketch, we had little mechanical legs because we were steroid guys. And then we so we had to kneel inside of chairs. And so the little mechanical legs. But if you go back and watch David Spade, they used his real legs. He's just sitting there kicking his little legs around.
Oh, shit. That's too good. That's too good. You know, it's always interesting for me. I mean, all this stuff with us with addiction starts in childhood. And I know for me, grew up in a home of addiction. So I kind of wanted to talk about that with you because I know you talked about your mom not getting clean. She got clean when you were about 10?
When I was 10, yeah. Yeah. Well, my first addiction was your approval. Right. You know, and I think my I think my drug addiction and alcoholism precedes my youth. Well, I know it does for me. It precedes my actual usage. Like I was insatiable and needed more. And I had this disease of perception before I treated it with drugs and alcohol. So like my first drink was maybe 13.
Chapter 4: How does Jay navigate being a comedian in recovery?
My first we I didn't smoke weed till I was like 19. But I was I had like when I do my step work and stuff, I can see that I behave that way
zero to up until it's just how i think it's just how my hard drive was installed and then having an alcoholic mom and being the youngest kid on the block and not wondering where i mean i don't think that didn't help but i don't think i don't think i personally don't think anything caused my drug addiction because then that can still paint me as a victim and something on the outside of me caused this thing right yeah between my ears yeah that's why one of my my
slogans is no outside solutions to inside problems because that's where it started.
Well, you go to a meeting and people like, you know, my disease is out in the parking lot doing pushups. I'm like, I didn't see it. I go through a lot of parking lots. I've never seen one disease out there banging out pushups. Right.
Chapter 5: What challenges arose after Jay quit alcohol?
Yeah, why do you think that people look at it as like it was some external thing? I know for me, you know, because I... Because it is an external thing.
Explain that. And he can feel that way because it works for him. Right. Okay? And his life depends on it, so he's got to think that way. Okay? But... A lot of it comes from our early childhoods. Well, for sure. Right? And that's an external thing. And, you know, in AA, they talk about how, you know, our parents did the best they could, right? Even if they didn't.
Chapter 6: What are some memorable Saturday Night Live stories shared by Jay?
You have to say that in order to codify it in your brain. But what happens is, so for example, you're five years old. Now, remember when you were five, you were little. And everybody was big. Remember? Okay. So if you have your father going, shut up, I'll give you something to cry about. And he smacks you or he hits you with the belt or in my case, the cane with the brass handle, right?
It's like, you can't formulate the thought, my parents are idiots. Because... your frontal cortex isn't developed. And not only that, but you're like, if these people don't love me, if they're the ones that have me, what am I supposed to do? I must be bad. You can't say anything other than because your frontal cortex isn't developed, I must be bad. And if you're bad, okay,
Every time you get disappointed, every time they hit you, every time they say, shut up, are you stupid? Or whatever they say, it reinforces itself. And pretty soon you're a 45 year old man You know, and your five-year-old self is running a 45-year-old man. And that's what I, but that doesn't make you a victim or for me, it doesn't make me a victim.
And the reason it doesn't make me a victim is because I can say, okay, that's what happened Okay, I'm the adult now, I'm the parent now, and I'm not gonna be a victim. And the genius is that you figured that out and you stopped lying to yourself. And once you can get that, It works. But the thing about AA is it's always the same. And it's my foundation, man. I'm not sober today without AA.
I'm not. Okay. I don't have kids. I'm not, you know, none of it. I mean, I've been given a life, right? But The problem sometimes with AA is they feel it's the only way. Everybody's an expert on their own sobriety. And they have to believe that way because their life is dependent on it. So I understand it.
That's a very good explanation you gave. And I can quickly swing around to your side and say, yeah, that's exactly right. It's just, I have to be... You really surmised it perfectly. It doesn't do me any good to go, they messed me up. That's right. Because when you sit like looking up. Because then you're a victim.
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Chapter 7: What advice does Jay offer to those struggling with sobriety?
Everybody looked really angry all the time because they had cigarette smoke in their eyes. You know what I mean? Like, they're just like going, what? And you know, everybody, every time you asked a question, it was like, what, what, what? So yeah, I could see that.
Dude, I was so, this is the household I was brought up in, and you'll be able to tell exactly why it turned out the way I did.
I like that your dad had a cane, not because he had a limp, but because he was like a duke. Yeah, well, he had to beat the shit out of his- He was a baron.
Yeah, he just had to beat the shit out of his tweens. That's all.
Richard, get over here.
I must give you a lashing now. Oh my God, it was so bad. Where'd you grow up? In Encino, which is, again, scarring, right? Yeah. I can't even drive through the valley, man, without having anxiety. Yeah, it's the world's biggest consolation prize.
Brooklyn and Encino. It's so funny. I can see where I really want to live from here. People are like, no, Brooklyn's great. I'm like, is it? You see that other place right across the river?
That's pretty good too. It's an island for a reason. My parents would put all three of their kids in the car after they feathered our hair. and they put us in the same outfits. Like I remember this jean outfit from head to toe with all these studs all over it. So we were like- I wanted this family. We were props. Feather hair and denim. Right? And then-
They put us in the... I was thinking... No, no, no. It's horrible. They put us in the Jew canoe and they roll up the windows and they're smoking, chain smoking Marlboro Reds while their three minor children are in the car asphyxiating. And I'm Jewish. So you would think they'd be like against that, right? Asphyxiating their kids. And...
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