Theo is back with a solo episode to talk about crashing a firefighter party in the Bronx, taking his mom to the Grand Ole Opry, and angering a guy with his chili toppings. He also responds to some of your voicemails and talks to a guy who survived falling 70 feet off a balcony. ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Valor Recovery: To learn more about Valor Recovery please visit them at https://valorrecoverycoaching.com or email them at [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- Music: “There is a Light” by the Stonekeepers feat. David Manuel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njJrEtlXBYw ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: How does Theo Von start his podcast episodes?
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Ah.
Ahem.
Ahem.
Just clearing the winter out of my throat, baby. Be gone. Be gone, snow. Be gone, ice. Or hail. Dude, what is hail? It's basically, it's like Italian snow or whatever. I mean, that shit just f***s you up. It's like Memphis snow. It's like, what are we... It's definitely... I gotta look that up. What is hail?
Because sometimes it's like you're relaxed and it's raining and then the rain's like, oh yeah, guess what, mother f***er. And it just f***ing shows up. And it just starts like pinging off your car, bouncing off your wife's shoulders and shit. It's bouncing off your stepson or whatever and it makes you care about him. Hail is just, yeah, we got to look into that and see what they're doing.
They're probably charging us for it. You know, we're probably getting charged for that, I'm sure. Welcome to the episode. Happy springtime, everybody. Good to be here with you today. What's happening? Oh, I'll tell you. Dude, so, oh, I went to a little chili cook-off around me. And, you know, I like, man, I'm lying. Chili is always, it's suspect. Chili is a suspect soup, really. That's what it is.
It's just a bunch of, it's like the hail of soups. It's like, all right. All right, soup. I see what you doing. We right here. It's just that kind of soup, you know, it's thickened up, baby. It's like soup got a BBL, baby. That's chili. Chili. And so I went to a little, I stopped by a little, they had a small chili tent cook-off area. And they had four vendors or something in there.
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Chapter 2: Why did Theo Von's chili toppings cause a stir?
Wow, man.
Yeah, a lot of people don't live through something like that, man.
No, I've been hit by the C train. Oh, yeah, the best one is... Wait, hold on.
You got hit by a... Well, what happened was...
My buddy knew this foreign exchange student. He gave money to these guys to try and buy him a pack of cigarettes. These guys are like 30 years old. They just told him to fuck off. We're keeping your money. So I decided to go up and punch him as hard as I could in the head. And I didn't realize the police are there. So I'm getting chased by this guy's buddy with like a foot long knife.
I keep looking back. still getting chased by the guy with the knife. Then I look back, it's the cops chasing me. So I'm at one end of a semi, and the cop is at the other end. Of a semi truck? Yeah, we're playing peek-a-boo to see where I go. I'm wearing a bright red Chicago Bulls jacket, and I'm freaking hammered.
Dude, that's a fresh outfit, baby. Scotty dripping, huh?
Yeah. And what happened was I ended up getting arrested for assault. I got bailed two weeks later. I'm at the same train station that I punched the guy at. I'm hammered standing on the platform. And then I get sucker punched in the back of the head. And oh, who is it? The guy stole that kid's 20 bucks. And then he just ended up pushing me like that.
And I fell onto the train tracks and the train was coming in. So there's I didn't know what to do. I just throw my body above the yellow line and it caught my legs and dragged me like 15 feet. They like rip my shoes off, rip my pants in half. Oh, yeah.
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