Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper with Natalie Joy and Nick Viall. In this deeply personal episode, Natalie opens up about her miscarriage with her and Nick’s second child. Through vulnerability and honesty, she offers her raw and powerful experience in hopes of making others feel less alone. *The contents of this episode contain details of miscarriage which can be triggering for some people. Listen to Humble Brag with Cynthia Bailey and Crystal Kung Minkoff! Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/humble-brag-with-crystal-and-cynthia/id1774286896 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@humblebragpod Listen To Disrespectfully now! Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to [email protected] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles Thank You to Our Sponsors: Mack Weldon - Go to https://www.MackWeldon.com and use code VIALL to get 25% off your first order of $125 or more. Sunday For Dogs - Get 40% off a two week trial of Sundays. Go to https://www.sundaysfordogs.com/viall or use code VIALL at checkout. Pretty Litter - Pretty Litter helps your house smell fresh and clean. Go to https://www.PrettyLitter.com/viall to save twenty percent on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy. Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @nnataliejjoy
Chapter 1: What is this episode about?
Well, I guess just thanks for tuning in. I'm sure you got some glimpse based off the title about what this episode is going to be about.
I miscarried our second child. And it was extremely hard. It's still extremely hard. Obviously, this is just not easy to talk about.
I don't know the right way to talk about it.
uh what we're about to play obviously is very personal and very raw and and very descriptive um and so you know just a heads up there you know uh in case you know whoever you're listening to this with or maybe it's not your cup of tea um but uh we just wanted to give you a heads up uh that the content going forward is um very detailed and very personal
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Chapter 2: How does Natalie feel about her miscarriage?
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Chapter 3: What personal experiences do Natalie and Nick share?
And it sucks because I have to be so alive for River, you know? I have to be silly and goofy and funny and play with her. And then I have this overwhelming guilt that when I'm with you, I can't also do that. I'm sad that the only version of me you get right now is this broken person. And I'm sorry for that.
It's okay.
I'm just so tired, you know? I'm just exhausted of this, like... Performing, you know? Of this, like, putting on a brave face and putting on a happy face. It's just, like, it gets so tiring. And it's also just, like, really...
confusing state I think for anyone who's gone through this you question everything you know you I look at myself and I'm like I just had a successful non-complicated pregnancy and birth and I'm 26 years old and like why why me like why did this happen to me you know I think that's also one of the harder parts because
You know, I want you to be able to feel how you feel. But it does, it hurts to know that... you know, the pressure.
And I assume this is common for most women who experience what you're experiencing. And I've heard it, my mom experienced it a few times. And that, yeah, the guilt that I think
um, women who miscarriage put on themselves, um, and the responsibility of, um, and it just breaks my heart because obviously I assume, you know, that's not really the case, but I understand why it's hard, you know, not to do that. Even myself. I mean, you know, there were fires in LA talk air quality, you know, like, what if we, should we have left town, you know, um, stuff like that.
It's, you know, and that's just me, you know, getting in my head about, is there anything I could have done differently or we could have done differently? Um, so I can't even imagine what you're going through and, but say, you know, we're lucky to have doctors who, you know, I guess from a scientific standpoint, you know, explain, um, This is sadly common.
I guess I don't know how it is for you, and I imagine it's still raw. I mean, that part helps a little bit, just because I'm definitely someone who is easy to second-guess myself.
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Chapter 4: How does Nick empathize with Natalie's experience?
I'm Googling all this stuff and it definitely, I think I read something like 20 to 30% of pregnancies can have spot bleeding and things like that. So then we try not to worry.
I think I knew from the jump, but I didn't want to accept that. And then it just got heavier and heavier. I'm just so thankful that we were home. and not traveling and not in a hotel or on an airplane, but we got home and I went to go pee.
Uh, and it was like, I gave birth, you know, it was like, it was like, I did, you know, essentially. And
I was screaming and crying and Nick ran into the bathroom and, you know, you just like think like, how, how are you supposed to stand up and like flush this baby down the toilet? Like, how do you do that?
How do you just, I, I, we had been talking to my mom and I remember, um, a miscarriage my mom had and my mom knew like Natalie was experiencing these symptoms and you know TMI but my mom said you know Natalie might want to when she goes to the bathroom
peeing a cup and i didn't at that point i didn't relay that message to natalie because i just wanted to stay positive um but i remember i was i don't know how old i was i was i don't know maybe middle school or something um but my mom experienced that same thing um and i don't know the details of what happened but
um she miscarried into a toilet um and was unable to retrieve anything for lack of better way of saying it um and so uh natalie obviously like she called for me and she at this point i'm just trying to you really don't know what to say or do, you know? So I didn't, I don't think I said anything other than I didn't think I just held you.
And then you mentioned, you looked at me and I remember you, you know, like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't want to flush the toilet. And then I think I just got you out. Well, you went into the shower. We went into the shower for a while. Me, you and River. and just left the toilet where it was. And...
And then after we got out, when Natalie was in the living room, I went back into the bathroom and, um, yeah, I mean, I just stuck my hand in the toilet and, and was able, and I didn't know what, I didn't know. Cause you know, Natalie said she felt it and it was really just, again, TMI all, all you could see was blood. Um,
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