The School of Greatness
9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Relationships Forever | Jillian Turecki
Mon, 13 Jan 2025
I'm going on tour! Come see The School of Greatness LIVE in person!Get my new book Make Money Easy here!Renowned relationship coach and author Jillian Turecki delivers a masterclass in understanding the complex dynamics of modern relationships, drawing from both professional expertise and deeply personal experiences. Through raw and honest discussion, she reveals how our childhood wounds, particularly from parental relationships, shape our romantic patterns and ability to form healthy connections. The conversation takes an intimate turn as Jillian shares her own journey from an emotionally tumultuous marriage to becoming a leading voice in relationship wellness, highlighting the critical importance of self-worth, authentic communication, and the courage to speak difficult truths. This episode offers transformative insights for anyone seeking to build more fulfilling relationships, whether single or partnered.Jillian’s new book "It Begins with You: The Nine Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life"In this episode you will learn:The crucial difference between love and lust, and why confusing the two leads to poor relationship choicesHow to recognize when someone is truly invested in you versus merely interestedThe three biggest relationship killers and how to avoid themWhy trying to "fix" or "save" a partner often stems from our own unresolved issuesThe importance of having difficult conversations early in relationships to establish alignmentHow our relationship with our parents influences our romantic partnershipsThe danger of putting partners on pedestals and having unrealistic expectationsWhy self-worth is fundamental to creating healthy relationshipsFor more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1719For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Gabby Bernstein – greatness.lnk.to/1714SCMatthew Hussey – greatness.lnk.to/1605SCMel Robbins – greatness.lnk.to/1710SC Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX
Chapter 1: What are the struggles people face in relationships?
Hey, my friend, welcome back to another episode of the School of Greatness. I'm excited for this episode because so many people struggle around relationships. I have been one of those individuals. For most of my life, I struggled. And I think I was in five or six kind of long-term relationships from my late teens to my late 30s.
So for 20 years, I was in multiple long-term relationships and I just, man, I struggled. And I thought I figured it out after every breakup what to do and that it wasn't my fault and it was someone else's problem. man, was I wrong?
And it took me a lot of sadness, a lot of suffering, a lot of pain, a lot of harsh lessons through all these different relationships on what I needed to start shifting to attract harmonious love, to attract someone who was the right match for me and really to become the person who was the right match for myself. So it was not even actually about finding someone else who was right for me first.
It was really about me becoming the person I needed to be in order to create healthy boundaries, in order to speak my truth, in order to feel safe. And then from that space, I feel like I really attracted an incredible person who understood me, who accepted me, and who saw me. But I wasn't even seeing myself in all my deficiencies until I started to do a lot of the work.
And today I'm sitting down with a powerful relationship coach and author, Jillian Turecki, for a conversation about love relationships and personal growth. And she's got a new book out called It Begins With You. And in this episode, we dive deep into the incredible takeaways from her book, as well as her life experiences.
Because Jillian brings unique insights from both her professional expertise and personal journey, which is something that I love. including her experience with divorce and healing her relationship with her father that caused her a lot of pain in intimate relationships with men.
We dive deep into the difference between lust and love and why you can't convince someone to love you and how to develop the self-awareness needed for healthy relationships. This was something I wish I had 20 years ago because it would have saved me a lot of pain.
uh and a lot of stress but we all learn lessons exactly when we need to learn them so unfortunately i didn't have this podcast 20 years ago or this this content wasn't out there for me so if you're here and you're going through a breakup or you just went through a breakup or you struggled in relationships then I want you to know you are in the exact place you need to be.
This is a synchronicity and a sign and a signal from the universe that you are in the right place. And I want you to get out of bed of paper and take some notes. She's also going to talk about the critical importance of speaking your truth in relationships, even when it feels uncomfortable and risky. And man, do I wish I had this power. for two decades.
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Chapter 2: How can childhood wounds affect adult relationships?
How can I love this person more? How can I transcend my ego right now when I just want to walk away when really what I have to do is the more loving thing to do? Because sometimes To make a relationship work, I believe one of the things that's really important is that you have to be in service of the relationship.
So sometimes you have to do what's best for the relationship, even if it means having a very uncomfortable conversation. You have to care so much about the relationship that you have with this person that you're willing to like do something that might not be that comfortable. That's love, right? Again, paradox, gray area, tons of it, not binary, you know?
But what I say is, like, sometimes you just have to... Sometimes fighting for love is not fighting for a relationship that's wrong. It's showing up as the person you want to be in a relationship.
Even when it's not perfect. Yeah.
100%.
A friend of mine said, I'm paraphrasing this, but he said, if you treated the person at the beginning of the relationship, at the end of the relationship, it wouldn't be the end.
Tony Robbins.
Is that what you say?
Yeah.
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Chapter 6: What are the essential truths for healthy relationships?
Right.
So that was something. Being more honest, having some more kind of sit-down, honest conversations about things... But I just didn't have the tools and the maturity to do it.
Yeah. Most people don't have that in their teens or 20s or even 30s. No, they don't.
Some people don't have it in their 40s, honestly.
It's almost like until they experience enough pain, then they say, okay, not that I experienced pain once, but I've experienced it multiple times. Something has to change. Now I got to wake up.
Yeah. A sad thing that I see a lot in the comment section is a lot of people are just saying, well, there's just no point in being in a relationship or relationship sucks or I'm never going to be loved again. It's like, oh, I just want to give that person a hug and just say to them, like, you know, don't you see this is like, that's not the answer. That's just your fear. That's just your sadness.
Yeah, I have a friend who is very well-known, extremely successful and well-known, and been married and divorced, has older kids and things like that, and has a lot of prospects. Let's just say that, right? This person. But they... And I asked them and they're older. And I asked them one time, I go, you know, why even be in a relationship when, you know,
your kids are older now, you've got your, you know, your mission, your purpose, you're doing so much with that. And you've got great community and friendships. Like you've got a lot of great stuff. Why even be in a relationship? And they were like, because that's the whole purpose of life.
You know, it's like to be in great relationships, you know, and it's more than just friends and community and work. And it's like, you want to be able to share these moments with someone on a deeper level. than just having fun times with people and little affairs, as you might call it. A two-month affair with this person, another two-month affair with this person.
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