
The Rewatchables
‘Minority Report’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Van Lathan
Tue, 22 Apr 2025 04:00:00 -0000
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The Ringer’s Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Van Lathan are charged with taping a podcast before rewatching Steven Spielberg’s 2002 sci-fi thriller ‘Minority Report,’ starring Tom Cruise, Colin Farrell, and Samantha Morton. Podcast Manager: Craig Horlbeck Video Producers: Ronak Nair and Jack Sanders Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What makes 'Minority Report' a classic?
But consider the Waymo, though. My great-grandfather passed away in 1987. If I could have a conversation with him and I could say, Big Papa... This would be the first thing you told them? I would be like, yo, I'm in a place right now where there are cars that drive on the street with no drivers and they drive people around. Yeah. He couldn't even imagine that. He was born in 1900.
It's nuts to think that the Waymo is here and it's not that big of a deal. I have that every once in a while with my mom where she'll be like, what are you doing when I'm looking at my phone? And I'm like, well, I was looking at a cat and now I'm looking at British Parliament. She's like, what do you mean? And I was just like, honestly, you just go like that, and then something else comes.
Craig, where does your generation stand on Waymo? I think, honestly, we're all in. A lot of my friends take Waymo. It's cheaper. They're doing that Uber thing where they're flooding the market with cheap prices so that everybody uses it. Have you had a, like, oh, my God, I'm going to die in a Waymo moment? I admittedly have not taken one. Oh, you have never been in a Waymo before?
My son, Ben Simmons...
um actually signed up early for waymo and was using it before we knew what was going on and we found out we were freaked out i was like there's nobody in the car it's just you and they can't go on the freeway yet they don't do freeway yeah right so just driving around in the neighborhoods he's like sometimes i get in the passenger seat sometimes i sit in the back seat there's nobody else in it
But apparently he said some people are getting busy in the Waymo. Obviously. And you immediately lose your Waymo pass. If you're in the Waymo, the first thing you're going to think is, yo, this is the fuck train. Get on with it. But they're watching you in the Waymo. The Waymo sex tapes are going to be so crazy.
Whoever hacks into the Waymo sex tapes, it's going to be... Have you seen some of the Waymo attacks where people have destroyed Waymos or tagged them or tried to surf on top of them and stuff? Oh, yeah. It's when the real repo man of LA comes out.
I think it's going to be a big summer for people torturing Waymos. Anyway, back to... Back to Minority Report. Is that a prediction? Prediction. Coming up next. I'll tell you why Waymo is getting tagged up. Spielberg was really, really passionate about figuring out 2054. So I'll do some of the research stuff now.
Consulted scientists, invited 15 experts to Santa Monica for a three-day think tank where they talked about... whatever the future is going to be with architects. Douglas Copeland from Gen X was there, the guy who wrote that. Computer scientists, all kinds of people. They made a 2054 Bible, which was an 80-page guide. I was looking for it online.
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Chapter 2: How does Spielberg's direction influence the film?
Many times. Recently? I haven't, but I watched the thing we based... Remember we did Clatheism at The Ringer in early days, and that was based on him in the turtleneck talking about Scientology?
The Oprah's Couch thing, it became... Kind of like a go-to joke, and we all knew what it meant. But I don't know how many times people have actually gone back and watched how fucking insane it is. And it's just this audience of crazy Oprah lady fans just losing their shit every time he gets excited that he's finally in love. And Oprah's like... I've never seen you like this.
And Cruz is like, I know. I know. And then he just starts jumping up and down. And it's like, what is happening? It is way crazier than I think it gets credit for. I think it's one of the craziest celebrity moments ever. But there's a crazy trifecta. There's that. There's him being just crazy. He is furious at Matt Lauer.
Yeah, yeah. He's really angry.
And then there's the other thing where he's, whatever the video from Scientology leaks, and he's talking and he's like, yeah, have you ever met an essay before? Right.
I'm like, oh, fucking shit, Tom Cruise. This goddamn Emperor Palpatine. What the fuck is going on?
I love the guy, but he's fucking batshit. Oh, no, no, no, no. 17 rewatchable movies. He's a maniac. He's really... Okay, so this is a dark time in time. I don't want to get into the... But he really has taken all of that goodwill back. In my opinion.
I agree. Top Gun Maverick. He's taken all of that goodwill. Listen, we love Tom Cruise. But yeah, there's been some moments where you're like, oh, yeah, okay. It's like if you're at a holiday dinner and you have that one uncle who it seems like it's going great and then they just say something absolutely insane after two glasses of wine. You're like, oh.
I was thinking about this the other day about how he kind of inverted the way actors typically would progress throughout their career. He does all this great stuff with great directors when he's younger. Then he hits a certain point and he's like, I'm just going to make action movies. And I'm just going to throw myself off of stuff.
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Chapter 3: What themes are explored in 'Minority Report'?
So, you know, normally you have these things and it's just like a bunch of like people taking iPhones and it's a photo album. And this is like fucking... You could release this as a coffee table book. Just pictures of seven-year-old little girls blowing bubbles in the air. It's just fucking amazing. Anyway, simulators to The Fugitive.
Richard Kimball, John Anderton, framed for crimes they didn't commit. Both recognized on the subway by another passenger. Both consulted a colleague to unravel a clue. Both pursued by a police officer and navigate through a crowded public place to try to lose them. Kimball dyes his hair. Anderton has his eyes replaced.
discovered they were set up by a colleague that they had been talking about the whole time and trusted and then blow them up during a ceremony celebrating that colleague. You got Neuronin, you got Provasic. What are they taking in the fugitive? What's the drug? Provasic. Yeah. You'll have to excuse my friend, Dr. Richard Kimball.
He's been sick. Is there a scene in this one that's parallel or something like the jumping off of the uh the jumping into the damn scene probably the fight the jetpack the jetpack jumping where he just goes yeah that's another similarity whatever you do you're not gonna catch me i'm willing to jump off of the thing or do whatever yeah
This is a borderline Sean Fennessey criteria orgasm, criteria and orgasm award, whatever we called that one. Criteria orgasm. Criteria orgasm. Cruise confronts Max at the end. He's wearing a dark hood. And it mirrors the opening of a 1957 movie called The Seventh Seal.
Yes.
Oh. Yeah. So there you go. Apex Mountain.
I got one for you. What do you got? You ever heard of the made-up genre called Nokia Wave or Nokia Wave, depending on how you pronounce the Swedish phone company? You know about this? I don't. So it's basically an idea slash subgenre that was coined by a critic named David Rudnick. And it loosely spans from Goldeneye through the Bourne movies. So like 95 to like early 2000s.
And it's all about like, it's like enemy of the state, It's like Matrix. It's stuff where it's like the technology is futuristic, but it's still tactile. So you were talking about like little floppy disks, but it was basically clear disks. People are still wearing earbuds, you know, like the phones are like almost there, but they're not super in the future.
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Chapter 4: What is the significance of the precogs?
Like you leave a place, like you fire, you get fired from a place. They discontinue your badge like right away. Yeah. Yeah. But all the way to the end of the movie, he can still get into the justice department is able to get in using his retinal file. Like he's,
who's in charge of one of the best pick and nits I've heard in a long time who's in charge of updating the retina files it should not still be giving you access cut your car off right away you can't get back in this is 2025 we would know this 2002 they didn't think of it I'm just saying like they get you out of it and then the other one is retina files the other one is this
So in the crime with the precog, the Ann Wiley, the crime, right? They come and get her murderer and then they just leave her there. for her to be killed. So they don't need her to come to the station and give a statement. Right. I think the idea is it's all staged, right? But I know what you mean where the cops are like, you're good. See you later.
Yeah, the cops come get the guy and then that allows Burgess to then kill her while the cops are gone. There's not a cop that goes, hey, I know this was traumatic for you. They literally just leave her standing by the lake for him to come kill her. Well, in Craig's America, that's just how the cops are. Keep the pre-coxswain milk. I'm Craig Horvath and that's my 2054 stance.
Wait, I have a piggy net. Yeah. You'll have to talk me through this because maybe I'm not thinking about this right. But the whole John Anderton murder, the whole plot seems like a catch-22 to me because Anderton would not have known about the Leo Crow thing unless Agatha told him or saw it. But Agatha would have never seen it
Unless he was already destined to do it, which he couldn't have been because she's the reason why he was destined to do it.
Craig, welcome to the world of dick, man.
This is what it's all about.
It's like a chicken or the egg. But that's the paradox. What did you just say? It's the whole idea. Welcome to the world of dick. You know, it's like all of this. It's like basically the whole idea.
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Chapter 6: What are the standout action scenes in 'Minority Report'?
Yeah, that is true.
I'd help you get out of here.
Jack can't talk. He's in a pool of milk.
Jack, he made you... I was complimenting him. Weird, kissing... That's bullshit.
You stop. The elevator ride with Colin Farrell is a good next scene. Great scene. We get a 2054 car chase. We get Max von Sydow now that you've seen this movie a bunch of times. Seedow? Yeah. Just for all my Max guys out there. I just didn't want you to... I never knew that. Yeah. Max von Seedow. I thought it was... I defer to you, but I never knew that.
As Dr. Charles Nichols, would you realize this as you're watching this? Yeah. I mean, if you know who he is... Richard!
Where are you? I love that guy in those movies. This has too. This has the, I like you chief guy. I love when that guy's in any movie where it's guys like, I could probably, but just go and then I'll do it. And then the Charles Nichols and then Cruz jumping on the Jetsons cars. It's phenomenal. And then, which leads to the next scene. I just wrote down Cruz gets away from eight guys. Cruz runs.
Pete Cruz running. Fire escape jet pack fight. Yep. Cruz jumps. 50 stories possible nitpick because he's climbing a fire escape for like what? Nine stories, but then falls 50 stories. Oh, just, it's good. It's noted. I love when the jump, like the skydiver move where you, you don't have a pack, but you jump on the other skydiver. They have that.
I really like when somebody crashes through an apartment, but they show the people in the apartment not doing anything. Like, I'm just on my computer. And then Tom Cruise falls through. More Cruise running. Crane fight with Colin Farrell. I love that. Colin Farrell. WWE Hell in a Cell 1997 crane fight. Kisses his chain, and you know that's his little good luck token.
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Chapter 8: What are the key differences between the film and the Philip K. Dick story?
No, hell no.
No, his Apex Mountain's a 25-year Apex Mountain. He got a deep bag. 25-year Apex Mountain. He got a deep bag. He got a deep bag of recognizable characters. Yeah. When they, first year Yellowstone, I'm like, Neil's going to be in this. And then second year he is. He's in there. Precogs, definitely. Washington, D.C. movies, no. Precrime Departments? I don't remember seeing this in another movie.
predictive crime yeah I don't think so Phil Dick movies we just said no we just said no yeah alright Cruise or Hank Scorsese or Spielberg this is the first time this has ever happened the double wow yeah what role would Philip Seymour Hoffman have played
I have him in the Colin Farrell role. It's an interesting idea of him playing Witwer, because it's a little bit more of a twerp, a little less hot, a little less like... The fight scene suffers, probably.
The fight scene suffers, maybe the running and all of that. He wasn't known for... But he also was kind of sneaky, athletic, and people don't talk about it. He was a good ball player and all of that stuff. He never really got into that bag on screen, I guess, that much. He could have been the eye doctor. Oh, for sure. Yeah, he could have been out there. He could have been Gideon.
But I think he's the Dweezil Zappa if we're doing this again. He just comes in hot for five minutes. But in 2002? Yeah, he's just like doing a favor for Cruz. They're buddies. Craig's choice. Flex category. What do you got, Craig?
Well, I kind of want to do a hottest take, which is just that... Lamar was super right in that we should get the precogs back in the milk. And that even if it's like a 98% hit rate, what are we doing here?
See? This is the problem with his generation. See, I'm telling you. He's just like, I want to take Waymo.
I want a world without murder, even if innocent people are going to jail.
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