The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP4 | The Neuroscience of Stress | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Mon, 24 Mar 2025
Welcome to Season 1, Episode 4 of The Messy Podcast!Tagline: The Neuroscience of Stress – Why You Can’t Think StraightIn this episode, we explore how your brain’s primal stress response conflicts with rational control and how chronic stress traps you in survival mode. Discover how the "Let Them" and "Let Me" techniques can reset your nervous system.Key Takeaways:Understand the brain’s primal stress response vs. rational control.Learn why chronic stress keeps you in survival mode.Discover how "Let Them" + "Let Me" resets your nervous system.Practice:Listener Task: Track 3 daily stressors and apply "Let Them" + "Let Me."Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.Tune in to The Messy Podcast—navigating the chaos of life, one story at a time.
Chapter 1: Why Can't We Think Straight Under Stress?
hey everybody and welcome back to the messy podcast if you want to skip the ads and get right into the good stuff you can sign up to be a premium member on apple podcasts or you can also head over to our website at themessypodcast.com we're in the thick of season one foundations of the let them theory and today's deep dive is all about the neuroscience of stress it's episode four and we're going to explore why our brains might be working against us when it comes to handling those everyday pressures
You know that feeling of being constantly on edge, like you're just surviving, not thriving.
That's a really great way to put it, and it's incredibly common. Most people don't realize just how deeply stress affects our brains.
Okay, so let's paint a picture for our listeners. Imagine you're at the airport. Flights are delayed. Babies are crying. The security line looks like it stretches to the next time zone. You feel that familiar knot of tension in your chest. Your heart's racing. You might even snap at the person trying to cut you in line.
It's a classic stress response. And what's fascinating is that this reaction is deeply rooted in our evolutionary history. That feeling of overwhelm is your amygdala kicking in. It's this little almond-shaped part of your brain that acts as a sort of primal alarm system. You know, back in the caveman days, it was super helpful for things like dodging saber-toothed tigers.
So it's like our brain's ancient watchdog, always on the lookout for danger.
Exactly. But here's the thing. In today's world, we're not usually facing life or death situations. But our amygdala hasn't quite caught up with modern times. It still reacts to traffic jams and work deadlines as if they were threats to our survival.
That makes so much sense. It's like our brains are stuck in overdrive, even when there's no real danger.
Right. And what's even more interesting is what happens in the rest of the brain when this alarm system goes off. While your amygdala is screaming danger, it actually hijacks your prefrontal cortex. That's the part of your brain responsible for rational thinking, decision making and focus.
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Chapter 2: How Does the Brain's Stress Response Work?
I'm intrigued. Tell me more about this let me step.
Let me is all about taking back control by focusing on what you can do to reset your nervous system. And one of the most powerful tools for this is the 4-4-4 breathing technique.
Wait, just breathing? How can that possibly help?
You'd be surprised how powerful simple breathing exercises can be. The 4-4-4 method involves inhaling for four seconds, holding your breath for four seconds, and then exhaling for four seconds. It might sound too easy to be effective, but this technique directly stimulates the vagus nerve.
Okay, what's the vagus nerve? And why should I care about it?
The vagus nerve is a major player in your body's relaxation response. It's like a superhighway connecting your brain to your heart, lungs, and digestive system. When you activate the vagus nerve through deep, rhythmic breathing, it sends a signal to your body that it's safe to relax and shift out of fight or flight mode.
So it's like hitting the brakes on our stress response.
Exactly. And the beauty of the 444 technique is that it's so easy to do anytime, anywhere. You can practice it in traffic, at your desk, even in the middle of a heated argument.
OK, this is starting to sound pretty practical. But how do we actually apply the let them and let me steps in real life situations?
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Chapter 3: What is the 'Let Them' Theory?
Exactly. It's about creating small, sustainable habits that add up to big changes over time.
We'll be right back after this quick break. All right, we're back. Let's continue.
And remember, you don't have to do it alone.
That's right. We have a whole community of listeners who are on this journey with you. And we've got some amazing bonus resources to support you over at TheMessyPodcast.com.
Absolutely. You'll find guided meditations, expert tips, even a downloadable worksheet to help you identify your personal stress triggers.
And if you're loving the show, please leave us a review and tell your friends.
Word of mouth is the best way to help us reach more people who are ready to ditch the overwhelm and embrace a more empowered way of life.
So until next time, keep practicing those brain resets. Remember to let them stress, let you thrive.
And keep those messy brains shining bright.
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