The Jordan Harbinger Show
1158: Can Coup Against Kin Save Family Fortune? | Feedback Friday
Fri, 23 May 2025
Your sister and niece hijacked the family business through fear and fraud, and you've got the evidence. Time for a corporate coup? It's Feedback Friday!And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!Jordan's must reads (including books from this episode): AcceleratEdFull show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1158On This Week's Feedback Friday:Where in the world is Gabe?Your mom built a thriving manufacturing empire from the ashes of debt, but now your sister and niece are treating it like their personal ATM while threatening employees who dare speak up. You've gathered evidence of their financial misconduct and assembled a team to remove them. Can you pull off this corporate coup?Your ex-husband's girlfriend kicks him out at 3 a.m., makes him drive two hours to babysit her kids, then accuses him of ruining their lives — and he keeps going back. Despite being good friends with your ex, your attempts to help him see the dysfunction have failed. How do you save someone from their own toxic cycle?Your friends bought your business, immediately got hit with $30K in bank fraud, and now Bank of America says "Sorry, you didn't catch it in 24 hours." Do small businesses have any recourse when big banks play dirty?You've been focused on your career and building a business. Meanwhile, after 10 years together, your boyfriend's gotten messier, lazier, and won't talk finances. Are you wasting your prime years on someone who won't ever level up?Recommendation of the Week: American HollowYou conquered addiction, survived open-heart surgery, and rebuilt every burned bridge with your kids through consistent actions. Now you're itching to move abroad, but will chasing your travel dreams undo all that hard-won trust?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi.And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors:No Story Lost: $350 savings: nostorylost.com, code JORDANAudible: Visit audible.com/jhs or text JHS to 500-500DeleteMe: 20% off: joindeleteme.com/jordan, code JORDANHomes.com: Find your home: homes.comLand Rover Defender: landroverusa.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: Can I execute a corporate coup against my family?
Not a bad idea. Look, if Jace can make Larry King's basement phone chips interview sound decent, he should be able to handle a fish market. I expect nothing less. Yeah, he could do it. I'm stoked for you, man. I'm pumped that we get to live vicariously through you. If we manage to meet up this summer, maybe we should record an episode live or something. I think that would be really fun.
That would be awesome.
I also found the only hot yoga studio in Porto. So if you come visit me, I'm going to drag you there. Can't wait.
As everyone knows, I'm just a huge fan of hot yoga. Definitely wasn't like, my shoulder hurts. I can't go. Last time we had a class plan. Thanks for not ditching us to go to a monastery in Kyoto or whatever. I know that day may be coming, but today is not that day.
No, not today.
Gabe, what is the first thing out of the mailbag?
Hey, Jordan and Gabe. My father died in 1966 when I was nine and left his manufacturing business $3 million in debt, which would be almost $30 million today. My mother, who's an amazing woman, took over the company with no prior work experience, kept it running, and paid off all the debt within three years.
She sold it for a lot of money, but soon started a new business in the same manufacturing area while also raising me in 1973. I have an older brother and sister who are 15 and 12 years older, respectively. During the 1990s, my mother transferred ownership in the company to me, my older sister, and our children. My sister has a daughter, an only child, and I have two daughters.
The split is 50-50 between my family and my sister's family. My brother has been estranged from the family for years. I don't have any idea where he is or if he's still alive. In 2011, when I was 50, my mother died at the age of 90. She left behind a thriving manufacturing business, essentially debt-free, with a healthy cash flow and great and loyal employees.
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Chapter 2: What should I do when dealing with toxic family dynamics?
I'm afraid she does, but we'll get to that in a second. Man, what a story and what a mess. This is fascinating. You've got your own little succession drama going on over here. I got to say, your mom sounds like a remarkable woman. She really was.
To lose a husband so early on, turn around his company, sell the company, start another company, make that one even more successful, creating generational wealth, which your niece is now busy squandering. all while raising young kids as a widow, and then leave you guys that legacy. That is just insanely impressive. She must have been quite a powerhouse.
Super interesting mom to have, even with all the flaws, it sounds like, was present here. But man, what's happened since she handed off the business, that is really unfortunate. Your sister and niece sound like very difficult people to deal with, dangerous people to be in business with, that's for damn sure, and I'm sorry they've done such a number on the company.
I can't even imagine how maddening and gross it must have been to discover that they've essentially been treating your mom's business, the family business, as their piggy bank for dumb crap. It's unconscionable. Yeah. I love your determination, your thoughtfulness about how to carry out this plan.
If everything you said is true, which sure seems like it is, I obviously share your view that these two have got to go. And it would be so sweet if you could rescue this company and turn it around the way your mom did after your dad passed away. That would be quite a story. We wanted an expert's opinion about all this.
We reached out to Patty Eberwine, a business litigation attorney specializing in commercial disputes. And Patty's take was, your story is quite interesting, and she totally understood your sentiment. But unfortunately, storming into the business and taking it over by coup, That doesn't really work. As Patty explained to us, that's just not how corporations run.
You can't just kick someone out of a company like a patron in a bar. If your company is a corporation, it's governed by the board of directors. If it's a limited liability company, an LLC, it's governed by the managing member. So the first thing you need to do is look at the governing documents of the company.
the articles of incorporation and or the company bylaws and see who holds the power to remove officers of the company. Patty said you have two basic options here. Option one, you remove your sister and niece through the process allowed by the company's governing documents. Option two, you carry out this quote unquote coup through the legal process by suing them in court.
Patty explained to us that these types of cases tend to contain three major causes of action. One, breach of fiduciary duty of loyalty, which you're already on to.
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Chapter 3: How can I help a friend stuck in a toxic relationship?
And I'm actually really frustrated about this because it's one thing to subject yourself to a bunch of insanity, but to subject your child to it when you know this relationship is getting in the way of your time with them, when they're obviously seeing this play out, that's just bad parenting. It's irresponsible.
So it might be time to say, look, if you can't say goodbye to Denise yet, that's up to you. I can't force you to protect yourself. But our son is also paying the price for all this instability. He's watching his dad stay in a toxic relationship. And I'm going to give it to you straight. He's starting to doubt that you are a good role model.
And I need you to know that this is having a major impact on him. I can tell you, man, as a dad, if someone said that to me, if they were like, hey, Jaden thinks less of you and is getting hurt because you're doing XYZ thing, that just cuts right to the bone. There's no way a decent father could ignore something like that. That might be the lever you're looking for.
I'm really sorry your ex is caught up in this cycle. I hope some combination of these things works and he finally wakes up. And if he doesn't, Then you might have to consider some other moves, including protecting your son from all of this as best you can, which might be tough. And inviting him to open up to you about what dad's relationship is bringing up for him. Sometimes that's all we can do.
But yeah, Denise has got to go. And I don't mean to Cabo. I mean for good. And dad needs to go to therapy. The end. Good luck. You can reach us Friday at jordanharbinger.com. Keep your emails concise. Use descriptive subject lines. That makes our job a whole lot easier.
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All right, what's next? Dear Jordan and Gabe, two good friends of mine worked for me for 20 years in my home improvement business. Last year, they purchased the business from me and we're still good friends. I continue to come in for a few hours on Mondays to help them out and maintain the friendships.
That's awesome. Again, I feel like this is a pretty rare situation. It's so cool that you guys get along so well. You're still involved. I love that. Our listeners are so evolved. This clearly reflects well on us. Gabe, how do I turn this into a compliment about myself, Gabriel?
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Chapter 4: What legal recourse do small businesses have against bank fraud?
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The Defender's ready when you are. To learn more, visit DestinationDefenderUSA.com. If you liked this episode of Feedback Friday and you find our advice valuable, I invite you to do what other smart and considerate listeners do, which is take a moment and support those who make the show possible.
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Okay, what's next? Hey, Jordan and Gabe. I've been with my current boyfriend for 10 years. We get along great, but lately I feel like things have gotten stale. He doesn't seem driven to me. His appearance has gotten messier. He gives me lazy vibes. I'm a very driven person, and lately I feel like he's not. For example, I tell him he needs to network and he's like, no, I don't.
The whole networking thing is really bothering me, especially because I'm building a business myself and everything I've gotten is due to networking. He's very supportive of my business and helping me whenever I need it. He's a good person. I just wonder if he would even do things if I stopped bugging him.
Another example, when we first started dating, I told him that not having a degree was a deal breaker. He went back to school and worked at the same time. What if I never pushed him to do that? Where would he be? At the same time, I'm still building my life. I'm nowhere near where I want to be for my age, which definitely affects me. But worrying about him also doesn't help.
And does he worry about me? I have no idea. Another thing, he's not straightforward with me about his finances. We don't live together yet because we live in one of the most expensive states. I ask him if he still wants to get married, but we don't seem to be moving in that direction.
Sorry, I'm confused by that. Wouldn't living in one of the most expensive states make you want to live together more? Because you save on rent.
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Chapter 5: How can I protect my business from fraud?
I'm commenting on the values around basic financial hygiene and how you talk about it and being willing to talk about it. All right, so what you need to know is two things. First, incompatible values around very important things, things that are important to you, that is so hard to overcome.
If somebody doesn't subscribe to the same core principles as you, if they don't care about the same things, that is going to continue to be a source of friction, frustration, disappointment, resentment. You're obviously quite driven. You value things like education and ambition and growth. And your boyfriend, okay, I'm sure it's complicated for him, but he might not.
Or he values staying comfortable more. Either way, you guys are mismatched there. Now, look, your values can change. His values can change. So we gotta make room for that possibility. But in my experience, core values and a person's capacity to honor them, it's harder to change, man. It's not impossible. It's just rare.
And when it happens, it's usually because the person has gone through something profound and the change comes from them, not from the outside. Which brings me to the second thing that you really need to accept, which you're already discovering, which is you can't make your boyfriend do anything that he doesn't really want to do. You kind of did that with making him get his degree.
It sounds like he actually did that really well, which is awesome. Congrats. But it sounds like he was motivated more kind of by the fear of losing you than by a genuine desire to succeed and improve himself. That sort of internal drive, man. Look, fear of losing something can be useful fuel, but as you can see, it's not sustainable. It's not permanent.
Now, I have to acknowledge that my values are playing a role here too. I also value ambition and achievement and relationship building. I'm more identified with you here, but that's not why I'm saying this. I'm saying this because if those things are important to you, this is gonna be an issue forever, no matter what.
So your options here are change your values, which I don't think you wanna do, and I honestly don't think you should do that, You can change his values, already talked about that, or you can compromise on your values.
Take certain values less seriously or don't expect them of your partner, which to be fair, some people do that and they do it successfully or they just make peace with the fact that they can't get everything from one person. They choose to prioritize other qualities, whether that's kindness or support or whatever it is. So that's something to think about. The other thing you need to confront is,
It's been 10 years. There are multiple challenges here. You're suddenly facing all these really pressing questions about each other, about yourself, about the future. And you might compromise your values and then you might be dissatisfied with that later. And I think when these things pile up in a way that creates a crisis, it's usually a sign something's not right.
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