The Jordan Harbinger Show
1138: Her Exposed Bi Affair? It's Over! She Swears! | Feedback Friday
Fri, 11 Apr 2025
Your wife was caught kissing her "friend," denied it, then gaslighted you when confronted. Now she swears they're platonic? It's Feedback Friday!And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1138On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:LDL from 119 to 78? Jordan's not saying it's the chia seed pudding, but...it's the chia seed pudding!You've discovered your wife is having an affair with her close female friend. Despite confronting her with evidence, she's gaslighted you and turned things around. Now she claims they're "just friends" while helping her through divorce. Should you trust someone who's repeatedly deceived you, or is it time to rebuild your life?You've repeatedly offered to help plan your sister-in-law's baby shower, only to hear her complain to friends that no one's helping her. This isn't the first time she's created false narratives — she previously scheduled her destination wedding during yours and bullied your sister. Do you confront this pattern of toxic behavior or let it slide?You're a Polish immigrant and Marine Corps veteran with friends who vocally disparage immigrants as "freeloaders" while they themselves live in subsidized housing, receive government benefits, and refuse to work to maintain eligibility. With detailed documentation of their fraud and your imminent move to Europe, should you report them or walk away?Your cousin and his wife are active drug users caring for their four-year-old son in a chaotic home with an ex-convict roommate. Your aunt enables them financially while trying to protect the child, but you're torn between calling CPS or offering to take in your little cousin yourself, despite living three states away. How far should family responsibility extend?Recommendation of the Week: Bose noise-canceling headphones.[An update from the ever-memorable episode 926!] Your abusive ex-boyfriend lost his foot after being attacked with a rubber mallet by his new girlfriend. Despite his life-altering injuries and chronic pain, he hasn't changed his womanizing ways. Meanwhile, you've continued your healing journey, advanced your career, and just bought your first house. Can some people ever truly change after hitting rock bottom?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi.And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/dealsSign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: What is Feedback Friday all about?
Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. As always, I'm here with Feedback Friday producer, the little chocolate left on your pillow during this existential turndown service, Gabriel Mizrahi.
Oh, this is about the bedroom?
Yeah. I came up with this one while I was staying at your place last week. I felt like I was in a hotel, except it was my friend's house. Pretty sweet. Little gift on the pillow. Essential oils diffuser, obviously. I'm not even kidding about that, by the way, folks. You did not turn that on. It was just there. No, it was just there. Salt lamp in the corner. Luggage rack.
Your TripAdvisor review is going to be fire. I appreciate that. I'm glad you enjoyed your stay at Chez Gaby. Five stars, man. Best oatmeal of my life. Strong couch. My only complaint, hard to wedge all my protein shakes in between dozens of boxes of kidney beans in the fridge.
That's what you get when you book with points.
I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, that one's on me. I'm booking through Amex Travel next time. There you go. For the late checkout. On the Jordan Harbinger Show, we decode the stories, secrets, and skills of the world's most fascinating people and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life. and those around you.
And our mission is to help you become a better informed, more critical thinker. During the week, we have long form conversations with a variety of amazing folks, war correspondents, neuroscientists, rocket scientists, a lot of scientists, astronauts, cold case homicide investigators. This week, we had former ATF agent Jay Dobbins back on the show. You guys loved my last interview with him.
There was so much more to talk about because I actually ended it early because it was like the Perfect ending rarely comes along in an interview. And I was like, I can't go past this point. So I decided to do another round with him, round two. Once again, there was so much to talk about.
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Chapter 2: Can chia seed pudding really improve your cholesterol?
We talked about the specifics of his undercover operation to take down the Hells Angels biker gang, among other operations and stories from his career. Just a great storyteller and done a lot to fight crime. On Fridays, though, we take listener letters, offer advice, and generally stroll through the brambles and thickets in this spooky forest of WTF.
And by the way, a few weeks back, I recommended chia seed pudding to you guys. It has some protein. It tastes good. It's easy to make. What I didn't tell you when I mentioned it is before I got into this stuff, you know, I've been having my blood work done probably every 10 weeks for the past couple years. And my cholesterol was not good.
The LDL cholesterol, the bad cholesterol, it went from like 68 to 78, 88, 98, 119. Not good, especially for somebody who doesn't eat a ton of junk at all. That's just a bad trend. And that happened for about a year. And then I threw chia seed pudding in the mix, and I've eaten it pretty much every single day since I had my last blood work, or previous blood work.
And as of my latest blood work, my LDL went from 119 to 78. So I dropped 41 points. I mean, a crazy amount. And that's... I mean, that's like 30% plus drop. And I made basically just that one big change to my diet since my January blood work. The daily chia seed pudding is loaded with soluble fiber, enough for a whole day's RDA in just that one meal. And I wasn't getting enough fiber. That's it.
I haven't changed anything else. No medications, nothing. Look, can it be something else? Of course. I'm not going to give medical advice. Bodies are weird. They're mysterious. Obviously, no one can pinpoint with 100% certainty that it was the chia seeds. But in two months, my LDL could be back up and it was just some weird glitch. And I'm like, hey, guys, wasn't the chia seed pudding?
But what I will say is most of us, especially Americans, we don't get nearly enough soluble fiber. Not the stuff you take that makes you poop. Not the stuff you can't chew it or digest it. This is the stuff that ends up in your blood. And I measured and I was getting less than 10% of the US RDA for fiber before I started eating this stuff. And now I'm getting over 100% each day.
So I'm not saying it's the chia seed pudding, but I'm hinting strongly that it very well may be the chia seed pudding. So if you're struggling with some rising LDL and your doctor thinks it could be the lack of soluble fiber, I would say give this a shot. Chia seed pudding saving lives over here. And it tastes good. So it's not like, oh, God, I got to eat more fiber.
And you're putting broccoli in the blender and choking it down every day. This is the way to do it. All right. As always, we've got some fun ones. We got some doozies. Can't wait to dive in. Gabe, what is the first thing out of the mailbag?
Dear Jordan and Gabriel, Two years ago, my wife became close friends with another woman. We also hung out with her and her husband regularly. In that time, I suspected something was off. My wife often took private calls with this friend, and once, during a party, I had to force open our locked bedroom door and found her friend leaning against it while my wife was in the ensuite bathroom.
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Chapter 3: Should you trust a partner after discovering an affair?
Hopefully it. It's unfortunate, but maybe he needed his son's help to prove this. I just, it's messy at best.
I eventually confronted my wife, and she dismissed my concerns, was very angry that our son was involved, and claimed that I had a mental problem. I stopped recording the bedroom, but I was still suspicious. Months later, I brought my concerns to this friend's husband and was shocked to learn that he shared similar suspicions and had a strong desire to install cameras in his house.
I have some used ones that are great for this purpose. Sell them straight to him. I'll help you set them up. My son's really good at it. Yeah. Months after that, I finally confirmed their emotional and physical relationship by finding a conversation on my wife's phone that hadn't been deleted.
Wow. So she turned this around on you, gaslighted, and you were right all along. Tale as old as time. It's funny because, seriously, turning shit around on the other person is the classic response in situations like this. I feel like every cheating story on Reddit goes exactly like this. I confronted her and she said, you have a mental problem. You need therapy and you're paranoid.
And everyone's like, they're doing it. They're cheating on you.
for sure. It is textbook definition of gaslighting. Yes. Her friend's marriage ended immediately. My wife claims that she's sorry and is now helping her friend, quote, as a friend, navigate her divorce. That's where that goes. You are lit up right now. Look at that smile. You're so happy about that soundbite. That's exactly where that goes.
I've been sitting on that one for literally years at this point. Through my initial spying, I discovered that her friend had serious emotional trauma and a history of cocaine use, which had strained her marriage. Is that what they were doing in the bathroom? So they were doing blow in the bathroom. It could be. Potentially. Unclear. They could have been doing something potentially worse.
What's worse than cocaine?
How much time do we have? How much do you like cocaine? There's a lot of things that can be worse than cocaine if you really like cocaine. Anyway, that's not what the question's about, Gabriel, you weirdo.
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Chapter 4: How to handle a toxic sister-in-law?
Yeah. I have a really great relationship with my brother, so it's been better for me and our family to just ignore Chelsea's behavior. Now she wants me to help her friend plan the shower. I can't tell if she's asking because I said she was wrong about not having help, or because she feels like she has to now.
She's also said some mean things to me about her friend's party planning ideas, which makes me feel like she's likely saying some mean things about me to her friend.
unfortunately that's almost certainly true whenever i notice people do something like that especially gossip i always try to make a mental note of it jen's really big on this they'd probably spill the tea about me if they had some juicy goss not to feed your paranoia but i think it's smart to clock that like i said jen's always whenever anybody says something negative about somebody if it not maybe not just one thing but like a pattern of this jen's always like don't say anything to this person that's important because they always they're a shit talker and they're going to talk about you
Probably a wise policy. So she goes on, But another part of me thinks I should just let it go. She and my brother have had such a heartbreaking journey, and I don't want to make waves. This is supposed to be about her, and I'm making it about me.
Yeah, I'm going to disagree with you there. You've been making it largely about her for a long time based on what you've shared. You're a nice person. I appreciate that about you. You don't want to kick someone when they're down, etc. Maybe you haven't been making it about you enough. But look, I'm going to hold off. You're nicer than me, etc., etc.,
Here we are at the end. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? What's the best way forward? Signed, planning the shower without getting drenched.
No, I think it's a fairly large Australian termite mound. You know, those ones that are like six and a half feet tall or whatever. Strong metaphor. Yeah. Yeah, extreme. Wow. So when you started off, you said that Chelsea had a devastating miscarriage. She was depressed for a year. Look, I was fully on her side when you said that.
Dude, I was on Team Chelsea. I was like, this poor woman, that's tough.
This poor woman. I've had friends who go through that. They don't leave their apartment for four months. I mean, it's bad news. It's sad. That's a really painful thing to go through. We don't know the circumstances. We don't know how far along she was. We don't know what she was going through leading up to the miscarriage. I'm curious about all that.
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Chapter 5: Is it worth confronting family about their behavior?
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
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