The Jordan Harbinger Show
1133: Should Mum Be the Word When Dad's a Cheating Turd? | Feedback Friday
Fri, 28 Mar 2025
When your niece revealed her father's affair, you became the custodian of a truth that could detonate your entire family dynamic. It's Feedback Friday!Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1133And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:Your niece found evidence that her father (your brother-in-law) is having an affair, putting you in an impossible position between family loyalty and moral responsibility. What do you do when every choice seems destined to hurt someone you care about, and the consequences could reshape your family forever?You're teaching a college course where student feedback suggests you're failing them with your outdated teaching methods and questionable content. As enrollment numbers plummet and department chairs circle, you face a choice between defending your academic freedom and adapting to modern educational expectations.You've always dreamed of inheriting your grandmother's charming house, but family complications and your cousin's competing claim have turned this potential windfall into a battlefield of resentment. As inheritance negotiations intensify, you're discovering what truly matters might not be the property itself.You've realized you no longer love your wife after years of marriage, leaving you torn between honesty that could devastate her and a lifetime of emotional deception. As you contemplate separation, unexpected revelations force you to question everything you thought you knew about love, commitment, and what you really want.Recommendation of the Week: Let a stranger know how they've had a positive impact on you. (Witness this in action at the next point!)You were struggling with severe depression and contemplating ending your life when you discovered The Jordan Harbinger Show, which unexpectedly became your lifeline during your darkest moments. The insights and perspectives you gained through listening gradually pulled you back from the edge and transformed your outlook on life. After helping a few of your friends find their way through their own struggles, you’re looking to galvanize the urge for improvement in others. What can you do? [All of us here at the show are humbled and appreciate you for sharing your journey with us!]Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi.And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/dealsSign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: How should you handle discovering a family member's affair?
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Dear Jordan and Gabe, two years ago, in my early 60s, I quit my teaching job at a private high school and became an adjunct professor at a large community college teaching English and English as a second language. I absolutely love this work, despite the huge pay cut, and I've been trying to learn and do as much as I possibly can to make up for lost time.
I've taken tons of online training and professional development classes, including course design. I've made an effort to meet people in person and create connections within my department. I co-facilitated a recent training on inclusion, and I've joined several committees and even designed a newsletter for one of them.
My goal is to get hired as a full-time professor before I'm too old to think straight.
Okay, I love this. Way to hustle and look for ways to be of value. This is exactly the spirit that makes people indispensable and gets them hired. You sound like an amazing employee. Also, congrats on being able to think straight in your early 60s. I'm 45 and some days I'm like, how does this microwave thing work? I don't get it.
What do you mean the microwave? Do you just open it and put the food inside?
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Chapter 2: What should you do if you're caught between family loyalty and moral responsibility?
A wave of an emotion, it lasts 30 to 90 seconds. Anything after that is the story we're feeding to maintain it. We're trying to keep that emotion active. We're feeding off the emotion as opposed to processing or metabolizing it. We're not letting it go because there's some belief system if we let it go, we'll be victims. If we let it go, we won't be safe.
Whatever it is, why we won't let go of the emotion. Even a small trauma can feel like death because we feel helpless. And if we don't have the resilience capacity to know that someone will help us, there are tools out there to help us. If we don't inherently know that, it feels like we're going to drown. In that moment, it feels like death.
Learn to recognize and heal from drama addiction on episode 836 with Dr. Scott Lyons on The Jordan Harbinger Show.