The Jordan Harbinger Show
1118: Son's Safety Vexed by Schizoaffective Ex | Feedback Friday
Fri, 21 Feb 2025
Your ex's schizoaffective episodes keep getting court-approved showtime with your special-needs child, despite restraining orders. It's Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: You're raising a special-needs child in Norway while locked in an endless dance with a legal system that keeps inviting your ex — who has a documented history of violent psychotic episodes — to waltz back into your lives despite restraining orders. How do you protect your child when the system seems determined to tango with danger? You're watching L.A.'s recent wildfire coverage from your Northern California community, where neighbors still camp in RVs after losing everything to even larger infernos. It's like screaming into the void while celebrities get prime-time attention for their lost pool houses. How do you process this disparity in coverage and support? Your professor treats student assistants like Victorian servants, dismisses them mid-sentence, and weaponizes awkward silences. How do you co-exist with someone who has such authority while preserving your dignity? Diagnosed with paranoid personality disorder 20 years ago, your mother, once grounded in reality, now believes you've infected her brain with parasites and refuses to leave her house or see doctors. It's like watching someone slowly slip through your fingers while the legal system shrugs. How do you help someone who sees such help as a threat? Recommendation of the Week: Audit your medicine expiration dates. After three years of orchestrating your life around your rescue dog's careful medical routine, you've had to say goodbye. Like a cruel cosmic joke, it caps off two years of personal earthquakes — layoffs, moves, heartbreaks. Seemingly sharing in the act of mourning, your other dog howls at the pawprint box. How do you rebuild when grief keeps redecorating? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi. Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: How do Jordan and Gabriel introduce Feedback Friday?
Welcome to Feedback Friday.
I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. As always, I'm here with Feedback Friday producer, the sanitizing hand wipe handed to you as you take your seat in this first class cabin of life drama, Gabriel Mizrahi. By the way, I love how it's now our job to clean our seats on an airplane after you pay like... What do you mean?
What are you talking about? Those things are just for your hands, aren't they?
No, first of all, I don't think so. I've never seen anyone not use it for the seat and tray table. I assume the reason it's massive and not a little one is because they want you to clean the seat. Like, oh, I just paid six grand for this flight, but by all means, put me to work while I'm here. I got nothing else to do.
I think those are for your hands, but people are just taking it upon themselves to sanitize the general area. You may be right, but let me ask you this.
If you had a sandwich in your hand, would you put it on a bare naked tray table or would you want to sanitize that sucker first or put some other surface between the tray table and your food?
I'm not arguing, I'm just saying the airline is trying to give you, it's for your hands.
I just want you to know that. Now I'm questioning myself here. If you're a flight attendant, are those really just for your hands or are you supposed to clean your seat? Tell me the truth.
On the Jordan Harbinger Show we decode the stories, secrets and skills of the world's most fascinating people and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you. Unsere Mission ist es, dich zu helfen, besser informiert und kritischer zu werden. Und während der Woche haben wir langfristige Gespräche mit einer Vielzahl von tollen Leuten.
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Chapter 2: What challenges does a father face with a schizoaffective ex-partner?
On top of this, he's endured severe trauma due to his mother's extreme behavior, including physical violence. Ich war mit meiner Tochter seit zwölf Jahren. Early on, I noticed signs of instability, unpredictable anger, irrational demands and cycles of dissatisfaction. She often claimed things would improve if we took the next step, moving in together, buying a house, having a child.
Young and hopeful, I believed her and hoped to build a stable life for us. Unfortunately, achieving any of these milestones only escalated her behavior. Gosh, that's unfortunate. After she became pregnant, she began threatening to harm the baby if I didn't comply with her demands.
At the time, I naively chalked it up to hormones, but after our son was born, her anger, irrationality and neglect turned into dangerous behavior, including leaving our infant unattended while she drank excessively. At one point, she became so violent toward me, I almost lost my life. Wow, this is horrifying.
This must have been a really dark time for you and your son.
I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine. I tried to get her help through mental health services, but her illness often left her unable to follow through. Eventually, she was involuntarily hospitalized for psychosis when our son was two years old. I had tried leaving the relationship before, but was often manipulated into staying, sometimes with threats of harm to me or our son.
When she was finally out of the house, I realized that I could no longer protect my son if we stayed together. With the support of her care team, I eventually ended the relationship. That unleashed a storm of threats and retaliation.
She refused to share updates about her mental health, convinced others that I was the unhealthy one, and got them to file false reports about me to Child Protective Services, which triggered stressful investigations. I was already overwhelmed caring for our son, and the extra burden became unbearable. The courts eventually awarded me primary custody, but she was granted 50% visitation.
I begged the courts to consider her mental illness and history of instability. But in my jurisdiction, a mother's right to see her child... oft die Gefühle für die Sicherheit ausweiten. So infuriierend. Während ihres Besuchstages begann mein Sohn, emotional und physisch zu regressieren. Er kam von Besuchstagen zurück mit schweren Angst, Träumen und behavioralen Problemen.
Ich lernte später von ihrer Familie, dass sie gegen ihn gewalttätig war während dieser Besuche. Und schlimmer. Ein besonders traumhafter Ereignis geschah, als sie ihren Sohn allein in einem kühlen Wohnzimmer während eines psychotischen Episodes verlassen. Er war furchtbar und schrie für Hilfe. Ein Auferstandener hörte seine Schreie und fand ihn in ihrer Wohnung.
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Chapter 3: How do the hosts respond to the custody battle story?
Oh boy, what a nightmare this is. What an absolutely insane custody story. Truly next level stuff, man. God, the things you've been through here, it's insane. Literally, I suppose. I am so sorry that you and your son have been through all this. I can't even imagine how you guys must feel, the damage your ex has caused. I can hear your pain, your anger, your exhaustion in your letter.
And I really do feel for you. I know I'm saying that a few times here, broken record. But my heart also breaks for your son. dass er diese Verletzung von seiner Mutter erlebt hat, in Zuge dessen, dass er ein sehr zerstörerter und chaotischer Vater ist. Und das ist auf der Spitze seiner besonderen Bedürfnisse, dieser armen Kind, Mann. Ich kann nicht mal vorstellen, was er durchgehen muss.
Es gibt einfach keine Worte. Ich rüttel meine Hände, warum die Gerichte in deinem Land die Möglichkeit erlauben würden, dass dein Ex mit deinem Sohn Kontakt zu haben, nach ihrem Rekord-Rekord und all diesem Beweis und den Threaten, um ihn zu töten und ihn zu töten.
So verrückt. Ich verstehe nicht. Unkonsensual. Unkonsensual. Unkonsensual.
I thought our courts were flawed? This sounds like a total circus. And I'm so deeply sorry that you've been failed by your system. It's crazy.
Yeah, I suddenly have a lot of questions for Norway.
No kidding, seriously. What are they thinking? Or are they just following the law and the law is way too forgiving of mentally ill parents?
I don't know.
Or overly accommodating to mothers, which wouldn't be, I guess, a huge surprise. It's like that in a lot of places. This is really just madness. These judges are culpable in the kids' abuse. That's my opinion. So, we wanted to share your story with an actual expert, so we reached out to attorney and friend of the show, Corbin Payne. Corbin was as shocked by your story as we were.
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Chapter 4: How is the disparity in wildfire coverage affecting communities?
This is more than anyone should ever have to endure. Corbyn hat gesagt, dass das völlig verständlich ist, aber er hat auch gesagt, dass man verlieren wird, wenn man nicht herausfinden kann, wie man die Unendurable verhindern kann, um in der Face von ferocious opposition from your ex in the face of an unfeeling, uncaring legal system to continue in the face of an unfeeling, uncaring legal system.
I know that sounds really scary. And that's part of the reason that Corbyn is so passionate about recommending things like support groups and telling your story and using it to lobby for change. Because these initiatives, they really can empower you. They can give you a sense of meaning, purpose, community. And you need those things when you're in a soul-sucking litigation and situation like this.
In our experience, they're one of the only things that can keep you healthy, keep you grounded, keep you motivated when the whole system seems to conspire against you. Again, I'm so very sorry for the manipulation and the heartache that you've been through. I'm even sorrier for your son, his health issues, the trauma he's endured and is enduring.
I'm even sorry for your ex to some degree, because as we talked about last week with the psychotic neighbor, her reality must be a very painful and terrifying one. Und ehrlich gesagt, ich bin es schuld für das ganze Land Norwegen hier, weil appelliert sein Legalsystem einen horrifischen Verbrechen ermöglicht. Nicht, dass es nicht unser ist. Und das ist einfach nicht in Ordnung.
Es enttäuscht jeden Sinn, ob richtig oder falsch. Und ehrlich gesagt, es enttäuscht den Allgemeinen Sinn. Und es ist wirklich traurig. Also bleib stark, Bruder. Bleib für deinen Sohn kämpfen. Er braucht dich. and surround yourself with people who give you love, confidence, hope, energy, maybe some cash on the side. You deserve all of this. Keep trusting. Something will shift here eventually.
Sending you and your son the biggest of hugs. Good luck. Speaking of avoiding financial ruin, a word from the people who pay all of my bills. We'll be right back. Bis zum nächsten Mal. Untertitelung aufgrund der Audioqualität nicht möglich.
Untertitelung aufgrund der Audioqualität nicht möglich.
Okay, let's talk about the new year. You're probably thinking about resolutions like maybe hitting the gym, you're gonna eat better, maybe you're gonna finally organize that junk drawer that could double as a time capsule from the 90s. But here's an easier one. Let Audible expand your life just by listening.
If you need relationship tips that don't involve arguing over the thermostat, okay, they got you covered. If you're thinking about making a career move or tackling your finances, they've got listens for that too. And the best part is you can learn and grow while doing stuff you already do. Commuting, working out, folding laundry like an absolute champion.
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Chapter 5: How can student assistants handle disrespectful professors?
Nicht nur, weil wir auf die Medien verlangen, uns bestimmte Dinge zu zeigen, worüber du einen guten Punkt machst, wie wir bestimmte Informationen erreichen, worauf wir Aufmerksamkeit geben, sondern auch, weil es einfach sehr überwältigend und sehr schwer ist, sich mit jeder einzelnen Tragödie zu identifizieren. Und welche nehmen Priorität? Ich bin mir nicht sicher, wie man das antwortet.
Besonders, wenn sie in einem Ort passieren, das in vielen Fällen weit entfernt ist.
Ich stimme total zu. Und schau, ich will auch darüber nachdenklicher sein, was andere auch durchgehen, natürlich. Aber ich bin auch nicht wütend, dass die Leute in Valencia oder der Amazon nicht aufhören, was sie tun und uns Schriften schreiben und Geld zahlen, wenn wir einen Desaster haben. Ich verstehe, dass wir in sehr verschiedenen Orten leben, in sehr verschiedenen Realitäten.
Ja, ich höre das auch. Sie zeigt auch etwas Schlechtes und Unkomfortableses darüber, wie die Macht in diesen Tragedien funktioniert.
Und ehrlich gesagt, ich weiß nicht, was ich darüber sagen soll. Es ist ein bisschen kaputt. Aber es ist auch nur so, wie die Welt jetzt funktioniert. Ich sage nicht, dass ich es mag. Ich endorse es nicht.
Aber wir müssen akzeptieren, dass die Art und Weise, wie Leute zu Events wie diesem reagieren, die mentale und kulturelle Realität, die sie aufnehmen, unfassbar ist, dass sie auf Geld und Influenz abhängig sind. Und ja, das ist dumm. Das ist unfair auf irgendeinem Niveau. Aber dann ist es auch ein bisschen verständlich, dass die Stadt, die die meisten der Filme in der Welt produziert,
und hat eine Menge kraftvolle Menschen, die in der Stadt leben, und ist ein großer Beitrag zu der fünften größten Wirtschaft in der Welt oder was auch immer California ist, dass diese Stadt global mehr Aufmerksamkeit bekommen würde. Und wenn dich das am meisten interessiert, ist es nur das, die Aufmerksamkeit, das Gefühl, sich zu erinnern, was wichtig ist, dann könnte das immer der Fall sein.
Aber ich hoffe, dass es das Staat nicht stoppt, von Bereichen wie deiner, zu kümmern. And I would hope that there are programs to help people like the neighbors you mentioned, because those stories truly break my heart. But I think the answers to that ultimately are at the voting booth and in the way that we live our individual lives in the aftermath of a tragedy like this.
This is a heavy letter. Interesting letter. Very eye-opening. Thank you for writing in. You can reach us friday at jordanharbinger.com. Please keep your emails concise. Try to use descriptive subject lines. That makes our job a whole lot easier.
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