The Jordan Harbinger Show
1093: When the Hunter Becomes the Honeypot | Feedback Friday
Fri, 20 Dec 2024
Your wife's cousin's boyfriend is catfishing you with his ex's photos. Plot twist: you know it's him and...kinda like it! Welcome to Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: You discovered you're being catfished by your wife's cousin's boyfriend using his ex-girlfriend's photos. The twist? You've actually found him attractive at family events, and now you're enjoying this strange flirtation, knowing it's really him. How deeply do you sip this intoxicating blend of deception and desire? Your Lithuanian name creates challenges in professional settings — from constant pronunciation explanations to misgendering in emails. As you build your personal brand, you're wrestling with whether to adopt a more "local" name while still honoring your heritage. What's the right balance to strike here? Your son, a newly commissioned military officer, is struggling with stress and performance issues. While cleaning his room, you discovered ED medication, and now you're caught between parental concern and respecting his privacy. How involved should you be in this delicate matter? Your girlfriend's teenage brother was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and believes their father's lies about maternal abuse. The family's pain is becoming unbearable to watch — but is it your place to intervene? Recommendation of the Week: Accupressure mat You've saved money for both your children's college education, but one is attending an expensive school while the other chose a more affordable option. You're grappling with fairness — should the funds be split equally, or should each child's full education be covered regardless of cost? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi. Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1093 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: What is the premise of the podcast episode?
Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. As always, I'm here with Feedback Friday producer, the red-nosed reindeer pulling the sleigh of conundra as we drop these fire gifts of life drama beneath your tree, Gabriel Mizrahi. Ho, ho, hold up, I guess. Yeah. Hold up. That's right. It's not going to be socks. I can promise you. You're not going to end up with socks or underwear.
No, these stocking stuffers are going to be lit today. Lit.
Just trauma in there. That's all. Just pure, unadulterated trauma.
What is this? What did you get me this year? Oh, a whole new batch of WTF. Thanks, Mom.
Yeah, exactly. On the Jordan Harbinger Show, we decode the stories, secrets, and skills of the world's most fascinating people and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you. And our mission on the show is to help you become a better informed, more critical thinker.
During the week, we have long form conversations with a variety of amazing folks from former jihadis and drug traffickers to generals and rocket scientists, even the occasional extreme athlete or tech luminary. This week, we had Gene Simmons, lead singer of Kiss, formerly lead singer of Kiss, on fame, money, parenting, kind of
Maybe a case study on some things, what not to do in life in many ways, even though he's extremely successful by certain metrics. We also had a Skeptical Sunday last Sunday on troubled teens. On Fridays, though, we share stories, take listener letters, offer advice, and get weirdly vulnerable. Because I'm going to get real TMI today and share with all of you that I got a vasectomy this week.
You sure did. And I am in pain right now. Yeah. So for guys out there, it's like I got kicked in the balls every hour for the last five days. It may be not that bad, but it's like definitely feels like a serious kick in the nuts, maybe every morning, because when you lay down, you're fine. So this thing is that every day I go to sleep and I'm like, oh, I'm going to be good.
I wake up, I'm like, I'm cured. And then three hours later, I'm like, no, not at all. However, I will say that I'm excited for the results, I guess you would say. So, for the gaming nerds out there, myself included, it's like, you know when you pick up a new weapon in a game and you're like, oh, I can't wait to fire this thing and see what it's like? That's kind of...
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Chapter 2: How do you handle being catfished by a family member?
OK, so fair. I guess that's possible. But when you said he still lives like a teenage boy, that's another interesting detail. It makes me wonder if the son is extremely capable, hyper developed in certain departments and in other departments, he might be a little immature or regressed. in certain ways.
And dad is still in the mode of, I need to help you do basic things like clean your room so you can function. And I guess my question is, does that speak to a broader dynamic between them?
Right. And if he's overly involved in his son's life in small ways, is he also overly involved in his son's life in the big ways, like talking about his erectile dysfunction?
Yes. The other meaningful detail is the thing you reacted to, how his son said, no wonder I have issues, you know, when you and mom are always like banging on about don't get, sorry for the choice of words, harping on about don't get anyone pregnant.
Right. That one might be different, though. That doesn't sound like being overly involved to me. I mean, I think every parent should probably warn their kids about having safe sex.
Yeah, I agree. But what he's saying is there's something about the way you did it that kind of messed me up. You didn't just educate me. You freaked me out about it. He said the word harped. I mean, the word harped kind of speaks volumes to me.
Right, right. Because if they were harping on about this, that might have tipped over into something else, some kind of anxiety, something obsessive. Who knows?
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Chapter 3: What should you do if you discover your son has performance issues?
Something potentially inappropriate and overly involved. It's possible.
I guess I could see that. But to be fair to our friend here, his son is saying that that's what's causing his erectile dysfunction or at least contributing to it. But I mean, we don't know if that's actually the reason.
And that's also a fair point. I mean, for all we know, mom and dad were just guiding him and they stayed within the lines. But the fact that his son said that to him in a heated way, I don't know about you, Jordan, but I'm hearing a young man who feels a bit stifled, a bit angry, you know, whether this particular conversation about safe sex was handled well or not.
That's true. It's also possible that he was embarrassed that his dad found the pills and he was just deflecting by blaming his parents for screwing him up somehow.
Yeah, also possible. Or it's both. We just don't know. But then our friend here also seems to know a lot about his son's sex life. He doesn't think that he's having regular sex. He seems to know how many partners his son has had. He straight up asked his son if he has performance issues. And then when his son didn't really want to talk about it, he said he pressed the issue.
All of that is pretty intimate information for a parent to know. So I guess here's what I'm getting at. And I tread lightly here because I know in certain families with certain parents, Maybe sons and fathers talk about this stuff and these topics are totally fair game and there's nothing weird about it.
So I'm not saying that this is automatically pathological, but his son does not seem to want to talk about this stuff. And yet here they are talking in intimate detail about it.
So that kind of fits with a dad who might be probing too much. And meanwhile, there's so many puns that I'm just so glad we're not making. And meanwhile, there are other details here, like the vaping that he doesn't seem to be. Yes.
No, but that's an important point because that's a big factor here.
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