The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
How to Talk to Anyone on Edge Without Getting Pulled In
Tue, 27 May 2025
In this Ask Me Anything episode, I’m answering your real questions—from how to handle a partner who shuts down after work, to what it actually takes to be a better listener, to what to do when someone lies to your face even after you show proof. These are everyday moments that trip a lot of us up, and I’m sharing the exact tools I use in my own life to stay calm, clear, and in control. Want your question answered next time? Join the newsletter! Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube Follow me on Instagram Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What is the purpose of this Ask Me Anything episode?
Hey everybody, welcome to a special episode and Ask Me Anything podcast episode where we're going to go over some questions that were asked in response to my newsletter that I send out every week. Questions about some romantic relationship stuff, how to be a better listener, and how to deal with liars. I'm ready to get right into it. You ready?
Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher Podcast, where I'm on a mission to make your next conversation the one that changes everything. I'm going to ask you to please, if you would, find the subscribe or like or heart wherever you're listening or whatever platform you're listening to. I'm going to ask you to click it because I'm giving you a promise, and that promise is to make you a better communicator.
For however long you listen to my podcast, whether it's just a few episodes, if you make this part of your daily routine, you will be better. a better communicator. And that's my promise to you. This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. I love Cozy Earth. One thing that I got in the other day that I received was a bath sheet from them.
They do awesome bath towels, not only beds, bed sheets, but also bath towels. This is, I'm over, I'm like six foot one. I am six foot one, not like I am. And this bath sheet comes up almost to my shoulders. It's awesome. You should check them out. You can go to CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson and use the code Jefferson for 40% off. That's CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson.
Use the code Jefferson for 40% off. I have a newsletter, in case you didn't know, where I send out a weekly communication tip right into your inbox totally for free. And in response, every once in a while, in fact daily, I will get questions from people. I've pulled some of these that I wanted to talk with you about. They're awesome people that have awesome questions. I want to get right to them.
This first one is Mac from Michigan. Here's Mac's question. My spouse carries a lot of stress from work. When he's very stressed out, me asking a question can trigger a reactionary response. All I can say is, I'm just asking a question, and then I shut down. How can I respond better? Mack, I understand because as soon as I saw your email, this hits home. This hits home for me.
So I am a practicing attorney, and then I have this communication advice that I love to share, and it's a passion. And then my wife is also a practicing attorney. She does education law, totally different world than me. But when we get home... Yes, it is. You're like any other husband and wife.
There are questions that she gives me as soon as I come in the door, or there's times when I'm asking her questions. So I'm about to wade into some topics, y'all, that you may not agree with. You might go, ah, that's not for me. That's fine. What I'm about to tell you is what works for me. This is not a replacement for couples therapy. It's not a replacement for any kind of therapy.
Let's be clear about that. So, Mac, this is what... Let me give you first a perspective of what could be happening to your husband. And I'm just saying this from my point of view. Whenever I come in the door, I have finished my day. I'm driving. I get home. Finishing a whole lot of high-level tasks. Tasks that big decisions for my clients, big decisions for me.
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