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The Dr. John Delony Show

My Teen’s Boyfriend Has an Ankle Monitor

Fri, 11 Apr 2025

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On today’s episode, we hear about: A mom trying to discourage her teen daughter from dating the wrong boy A wife struggling with her husband’s decision to take a job out of state A husband frustrated that his wife mothers everyone—including him Next Steps: 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test  📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future  ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards  💭 John's Free Guided Meditation  🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. 🔴 Get 15% off with code DELONY at Bon Charge. 🌿 Get up to 40% off with code DELONY at Cozy Earth.  🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. 😇 Go to Hallow for a 90-day free trial. 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 🥤 Get 20% off with code DELONY at Organifi.  💪 Get 25% off your order at Thorne.   🏋️ Go to Trainwell to get started!   Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights   🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership   Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Audio
Transcription

Chapter 1: How can I protect my daughter from dating a boy with an ankle monitor?

5.686 - 18.97 Mary

How do I protect my daughter but not end up in that situation where I make her run? And it's all regarding a boy with a new interest that has a troubled past.

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19.37 - 41.029 Dr. John Delony

Let me put it this way. My daughter would not be dating a boy with an ankle monitor. Period. What in the world is going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show, talking about your mental and emotional health and your relationships and your marriages and your kids and everything you got going on in your life.

0

42.369 - 52.131 Dr. John Delony

If you notice I'm being a little more chill, it's because they did the chat GPT roast of me. They said I come in pretty hot, like I've had a bunch of espressos.

0

52.272 - 58.393 Unknown

I believe it was, comes in, like he said, seven shot of espressos and run a marathon. Yes. If I'm

0

59.327 - 64.509 Dr. John Delony

So now I'm coming in like I'm like five Quaaludes in, four or five Xanax.

64.529 - 69.711 Unknown

What was the worst thing that that playful chat GPT Rose said about you?

71.152 - 74.854 Dr. John Delony

The most hurtful that I come in hot with youth minister energy.

75.034 - 75.974 Unknown

Yeah, it did say that.

76.354 - 90.58 Dr. John Delony

That hurt in my soul. Right in my soul. I have no sparkles on my jeans, by the way. Anyway, I didn't come in here with a somersault or whatever and... Yeah, they gave me the hemorrhoids on that one.

Chapter 2: What should I do if my husband wants to move out of state for work?

1407.08 - 1412.463 Michelle

Every night is just like, how am I supposed to do this all by myself? And try and get a degree at the same time.

0

1412.483 - 1439.735 Dr. John Delony

All right. Well, that's where you got to write that stuff down. And let's have that conversation. Because here's what you're telling him in those moments. I need you. I want you here. I'm so proud of you trying to protect our family, to earn for our family, to go start a new business so that I can stay home. And if this is a math problem, y'all need to be honest about your math problem, okay?

0

1441.475 - 1459.898 Dr. John Delony

And it may be that we got to leave San Bernardino, California, which is a very expensive place to live. And we're all moving out of state. There's a math problem to this. But beneath it, and again, I'm trying to be as altruistic as possible. This guy may suck. You may need to take all this personally. Like he's trying to run away from you guys, right? That may be the case.

0

1460.118 - 1474.868 Dr. John Delony

Kelly's nodding, yes, yes, yes. He may be terrible. I'm trying to be as altruistic as I can. but beneath the no is I want you here. You play an important role here. And here's what that is. I can't do this by myself. I need you home.

0

1477.971 - 1478.431 Unknown

Okay.

1479.312 - 1501.698 Dr. John Delony

And then it is, tell me what scares you about holding that baby. Tell me what scares you about, and now you're getting into dangerous territory for a guy because vulnerability gets a guy killed on the works on the worksite in the boardroom. It gets a guy killed. And so you're asking him to do something that's scary to him. And if he's honest, he may say, I'm scared about money.

1502.238 - 1512.905 Dr. John Delony

I'm scared about having three kids in here and not knowing what to do. Or he may say, I'm a jerk. I don't want to be here. He won't say he's a jerk, but this is his way of leaving you.

1514.906 - 1525.35 Michelle

Yeah. And I know like partly it's from what we've talked about very little because I try not to get Super emotional and just shut the conversation down.

1525.39 - 1525.891 Dr. John Delony

Why do you do that?

Chapter 3: How do I handle my teenager's relationships?

2350.999 - 2367.548 Dr. John Delony

But she's never given herself permission to ask that question. And you're going to have to be a steadfast supporter. And you got to put your oxygen mask on first. And then the second thing is she's going to have to practice being uncomfortable saying no. Because she doesn't have a psychology for it. She doesn't have a wiring for it.

0

2369.622 - 2386.545 Unknown

Well, she's, she learned somewhat. She's, um, there was a while she was bouncing around between relatives helping with babies. Cause there's for the last six years, there's been two or three babies across the family at a time. Okay.

0

2386.565 - 2389.686 Dr. John Delony

But tell me, like, let's, let's pause all that. How's your marriage?

0

2389.966 - 2424.197 Unknown

Well, um, um, At the moment, we're struggling. We've been married about three years. We've got a two-year-old and a nine-month-old. Why are you struggling? A lot of it's stress of work. I'm stressed out because I don't feel like we have enough. We have enough money. for our bills and then a little despair. But to me, it doesn't feel like enough.

0

2424.557 - 2435.788 Unknown

And she's trying to, she's been trying to get me to understand that we do have enough. Um, yeah, but her house is always disaster. Both of you.

2436.008 - 2444.476 Dr. John Delony

That's it. Your house, you brought that up twice. Your house is a disaster. You don't, you don't think you have enough money. How's your, what's your, um, sex and intimacy life like?

2447.576 - 2471.578 Unknown

Pretty good, actually. Awesome. We try to be very open with each other, and I'm very much a physical touch guy. And so... We try to be open with each other, but at the same time, I've always had a hard time articulating what I'm feeling. I just don't have that toolbox.

2471.878 - 2493.465 Dr. John Delony

Yeah, I want to lean on you, though. That can't be a thing you sit on. That can't be a lawn chair you lean back in. You got to go forward. And it might be writing it down and writing it down and writing it down until you can say, here's what I want. I want you. Here's what I need. How can I love you today? And then vice versa. But y'all have to... Here's the thing.

2494.045 - 2514.17 Dr. John Delony

If she doesn't feel anchored at home, she's going to just default back to 12-year-old her, 12-year-old her, 12-year-old her, because that's what her nervous system knows. Yeah. That neural wiring is already in place. And if she feels anchored and has a purpose and connected at her house, then she can have a chance to begin to practice these other things. Yeah.

Chapter 5: How to support a partner during a major life change?

1383.056 - 1406.133 Michelle

Yeah. And I feel like I kind of look at, like everything in the sense of finances. I currently work and we're looking to me not working anymore and just staying at home because paying for childcare is going to be way more than what it's worth. I might as well just watch them on my own, but I feel like all that scares me and the thought of him not coming home

0

1407.08 - 1412.463 Michelle

Every night is just like, how am I supposed to do this all by myself? And try and get a degree at the same time.

0

1412.483 - 1439.735 Dr. John Delony

All right. Well, that's where you got to write that stuff down. And let's have that conversation. Because here's what you're telling him in those moments. I need you. I want you here. I'm so proud of you trying to protect our family, to earn for our family, to go start a new business so that I can stay home. And if this is a math problem, y'all need to be honest about your math problem, okay?

0

1441.475 - 1459.898 Dr. John Delony

And it may be that we got to leave San Bernardino, California, which is a very expensive place to live. And we're all moving out of state. There's a math problem to this. But beneath it, and again, I'm trying to be as altruistic as possible. This guy may suck. You may need to take all this personally. Like he's trying to run away from you guys, right? That may be the case.

0

1460.118 - 1474.868 Dr. John Delony

Kelly's nodding, yes, yes, yes. He may be terrible. I'm trying to be as altruistic as I can. but beneath the no is I want you here. You play an important role here. And here's what that is. I can't do this by myself. I need you home.

1477.971 - 1478.431 Unknown

Okay.

1479.312 - 1501.698 Dr. John Delony

And then it is, tell me what scares you about holding that baby. Tell me what scares you about, and now you're getting into dangerous territory for a guy because vulnerability gets a guy killed on the works on the worksite in the boardroom. It gets a guy killed. And so you're asking him to do something that's scary to him. And if he's honest, he may say, I'm scared about money.

1502.238 - 1512.905 Dr. John Delony

I'm scared about having three kids in here and not knowing what to do. Or he may say, I'm a jerk. I don't want to be here. He won't say he's a jerk, but this is his way of leaving you.

1514.906 - 1525.35 Michelle

Yeah. And I know like partly it's from what we've talked about very little because I try not to get Super emotional and just shut the conversation down.

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