On today’s episode, we hear about: A mom trying to discourage her teen daughter from dating the wrong boy A wife struggling with her husband’s decision to take a job out of state A husband frustrated that his wife mothers everyone—including him Next Steps: 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test 📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards 💭 John's Free Guided Meditation 🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. 🔴 Get 15% off with code DELONY at Bon Charge. 🌿 Get up to 40% off with code DELONY at Cozy Earth. 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. 😇 Go to Hallow for a 90-day free trial. 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 🥤 Get 20% off with code DELONY at Organifi. 💪 Get 25% off your order at Thorne. 🏋️ Go to Trainwell to get started! Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: How can I protect my daughter from dating a boy with an ankle monitor?
How do I protect my daughter but not end up in that situation where I make her run? And it's all regarding a boy with a new interest that has a troubled past.
Let me put it this way. My daughter would not be dating a boy with an ankle monitor. Period. What in the world is going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show, talking about your mental and emotional health and your relationships and your marriages and your kids and everything you got going on in your life.
If you notice I'm being a little more chill, it's because they did the chat GPT roast of me. They said I come in pretty hot, like I've had a bunch of espressos.
I believe it was, comes in, like he said, seven shot of espressos and run a marathon. Yes. If I'm
So now I'm coming in like I'm like five Quaaludes in, four or five Xanax.
What was the worst thing that that playful chat GPT Rose said about you?
The most hurtful that I come in hot with youth minister energy.
Yeah, it did say that.
That hurt in my soul. Right in my soul. I have no sparkles on my jeans, by the way. Anyway, I didn't come in here with a somersault or whatever and... Yeah, they gave me the hemorrhoids on that one.
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Chapter 2: What should I do if my husband wants to move out of state for work?
Every night is just like, how am I supposed to do this all by myself? And try and get a degree at the same time.
All right. Well, that's where you got to write that stuff down. And let's have that conversation. Because here's what you're telling him in those moments. I need you. I want you here. I'm so proud of you trying to protect our family, to earn for our family, to go start a new business so that I can stay home. And if this is a math problem, y'all need to be honest about your math problem, okay?
And it may be that we got to leave San Bernardino, California, which is a very expensive place to live. And we're all moving out of state. There's a math problem to this. But beneath it, and again, I'm trying to be as altruistic as possible. This guy may suck. You may need to take all this personally. Like he's trying to run away from you guys, right? That may be the case.
Kelly's nodding, yes, yes, yes. He may be terrible. I'm trying to be as altruistic as I can. but beneath the no is I want you here. You play an important role here. And here's what that is. I can't do this by myself. I need you home.
Okay.
And then it is, tell me what scares you about holding that baby. Tell me what scares you about, and now you're getting into dangerous territory for a guy because vulnerability gets a guy killed on the works on the worksite in the boardroom. It gets a guy killed. And so you're asking him to do something that's scary to him. And if he's honest, he may say, I'm scared about money.
I'm scared about having three kids in here and not knowing what to do. Or he may say, I'm a jerk. I don't want to be here. He won't say he's a jerk, but this is his way of leaving you.
Yeah. And I know like partly it's from what we've talked about very little because I try not to get Super emotional and just shut the conversation down.
Why do you do that?
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Chapter 3: How do I handle my teenager's relationships?
But she's never given herself permission to ask that question. And you're going to have to be a steadfast supporter. And you got to put your oxygen mask on first. And then the second thing is she's going to have to practice being uncomfortable saying no. Because she doesn't have a psychology for it. She doesn't have a wiring for it.
Well, she's, she learned somewhat. She's, um, there was a while she was bouncing around between relatives helping with babies. Cause there's for the last six years, there's been two or three babies across the family at a time. Okay.
But tell me, like, let's, let's pause all that. How's your marriage?
Well, um, um, At the moment, we're struggling. We've been married about three years. We've got a two-year-old and a nine-month-old. Why are you struggling? A lot of it's stress of work. I'm stressed out because I don't feel like we have enough. We have enough money. for our bills and then a little despair. But to me, it doesn't feel like enough.
And she's trying to, she's been trying to get me to understand that we do have enough. Um, yeah, but her house is always disaster. Both of you.
That's it. Your house, you brought that up twice. Your house is a disaster. You don't, you don't think you have enough money. How's your, what's your, um, sex and intimacy life like?
Pretty good, actually. Awesome. We try to be very open with each other, and I'm very much a physical touch guy. And so... We try to be open with each other, but at the same time, I've always had a hard time articulating what I'm feeling. I just don't have that toolbox.
Yeah, I want to lean on you, though. That can't be a thing you sit on. That can't be a lawn chair you lean back in. You got to go forward. And it might be writing it down and writing it down and writing it down until you can say, here's what I want. I want you. Here's what I need. How can I love you today? And then vice versa. But y'all have to... Here's the thing.
If she doesn't feel anchored at home, she's going to just default back to 12-year-old her, 12-year-old her, 12-year-old her, because that's what her nervous system knows. Yeah. That neural wiring is already in place. And if she feels anchored and has a purpose and connected at her house, then she can have a chance to begin to practice these other things. Yeah.
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Chapter 5: How to support a partner during a major life change?
Yeah. And I feel like I kind of look at, like everything in the sense of finances. I currently work and we're looking to me not working anymore and just staying at home because paying for childcare is going to be way more than what it's worth. I might as well just watch them on my own, but I feel like all that scares me and the thought of him not coming home
Every night is just like, how am I supposed to do this all by myself? And try and get a degree at the same time.
All right. Well, that's where you got to write that stuff down. And let's have that conversation. Because here's what you're telling him in those moments. I need you. I want you here. I'm so proud of you trying to protect our family, to earn for our family, to go start a new business so that I can stay home. And if this is a math problem, y'all need to be honest about your math problem, okay?
And it may be that we got to leave San Bernardino, California, which is a very expensive place to live. And we're all moving out of state. There's a math problem to this. But beneath it, and again, I'm trying to be as altruistic as possible. This guy may suck. You may need to take all this personally. Like he's trying to run away from you guys, right? That may be the case.
Kelly's nodding, yes, yes, yes. He may be terrible. I'm trying to be as altruistic as I can. but beneath the no is I want you here. You play an important role here. And here's what that is. I can't do this by myself. I need you home.
Okay.
And then it is, tell me what scares you about holding that baby. Tell me what scares you about, and now you're getting into dangerous territory for a guy because vulnerability gets a guy killed on the works on the worksite in the boardroom. It gets a guy killed. And so you're asking him to do something that's scary to him. And if he's honest, he may say, I'm scared about money.
I'm scared about having three kids in here and not knowing what to do. Or he may say, I'm a jerk. I don't want to be here. He won't say he's a jerk, but this is his way of leaving you.
Yeah. And I know like partly it's from what we've talked about very little because I try not to get Super emotional and just shut the conversation down.
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