Luxury realtor Heather Shepherd opens up about breaking free from a narcissistic marriage, reclaiming her life, and building an empire for herself and her kids. In this powerful and emotional episode, she shares how walking away wasn’t selfish, it was survival. From mom guilt to rebuilding confidence, Heather proves that it’s never too late to choose yourself. If you’ve ever felt stuck, scared, or unsure of your next step, this is the conversation you need to hear. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: Who is Heather Shepherd and what is her story?
Thank you so much, Sean. I'm so happy to be here.
I'm jacked you're here.
Thank you.
And Jack, you're an amazing human being. And so I just remember, you know, for the audience listening, it's so funny how connections are made, right? You sent me a direct message, I don't know, a couple months ago, really. And it was just, you know, it was so sincere and sweet. And I'm like, I got to, I'm going to respond. I'm going to respond to this.
And you know, it was just, you were wanting to come onto the show. And the one thing that I really loved about your approach was it was kind, it was gentle, but also unapologetic of wanting to get your story out. Right. So you applied to be on the show and here you are.
So for the audience that doesn't know your whole story, why don't you start by telling them a little bit about who you are, what you do, then just briefly start going into the story of the reason why you're here today.
Okay, so I am a luxury real estate agent in Houston, Texas. And I have three kids, amazing kids, 14, 12, and 10, a girl and two boys.
And your girl just won a district championship.
She did, for basketball.
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Chapter 2: What challenges did Heather face in her marriage?
my work because I was now like now after I filed and everything I was able to you know build my real estate career which was like my dream like to have this like empire of like in Houston and um so I would get up and I you know would work out to um my weights and soul cycle and classes and just having that routine and like that consistency and no matter how I felt just making sure like
I was doing my best doing these things, like taking my, like waking up my kids, taking them to school. Like, you know, the things that you can control, like as a mom, no matter how you're feeling, like just really staying consistent with those things that really helped me. And it just, that was what kept me, kept me going.
That's incredible. I want everybody listening, whether you're a woman or a man, just know that you living in your home and being worried about potentially What's going to happen next, right? Waiting for that next shoe to drop. It's not a way to live, right? It's not a way to live. And you can't thrive if you don't feel peace in your own home.
So I think the word peace is very applicable to many things we do outside the home, whether it's building a podcast, being a successful realtor, a great school teacher, or even a car salesman. You have to have some peace inside. in order to be fully functional out there in society and to be able to thrive, right?
The one thing I remember you saying was, you know, multiple times, but even just then, and when you were speaking was now you're able to have a successful real estate career. Explain to the audience what that means because they're saying, well, why couldn't she before?
Well, so before I was living with somebody who was very controlling with, you know, money and everything I did and would use things against me like, oh, well, if you do that, like, what about our kids? I mean, my kids are old enough. They're in school all day. Like, that wasn't an issue at all.
The mom guilt, throwing mom guilt on you.
And, you know, of course I was like, oh my gosh, what about my kids? Like if I need to pick them up from school or, you know, and I'm working like a bit, which really was all in my head. And as moms, you know, we want to be like our kids come first and we want to be the best we can be for them. Yeah.
But another thing is, like, if you don't fill, like, your cup up, if you aren't fulfilled and happy and peaceful, then really it affects your kids. It affects your work. It affects everything in your life. And you're not being selfish, really. You're just taking care of yourself. Yeah.
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Chapter 3: How did Heather overcome controlling behavior and mom guilt?
So if it's like every Thursday night now and it's Thursday, right? Yes.
Thursday.
So, like, for me, I know I get to go with a walk with my... oldest daughter tonight. That's our thing on Thursday nights. We go, we go in the neighborhood, go for 15, 20 minutes. It's my time to connect with her. And last week when we did, it was the first week, right? Because I do, I do realize like she needs one-on-one.
Yes.
She needs me one-on-one.
Right.
And so does my daughter, my, my six-year-old daughter, right? My son, he can thrive at baseball, but sometimes he wants to mess around and play some PlayStation with dad.
Yeah, totally.
It's all good. But, but, but, you know, having that time, I left my phone. And, and like the, there's this thing, the box that we have, we put our phones in there and not enough. We don't do it enough. We need to put them, put them in there a lot more freaking often.
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Chapter 4: What role does family and parenting play in Heather’s journey?
But you did the work to get that self-worth back, right? Like, explain that to the audience because it's like a lot of people say like, hey, you know, don't put your self-worth in another person. That's not what you were doing.
No.
That's not what you were doing.
No.
How did you get that back yourself?
You know, just... Little by little, like, you know, my whole thing about being consistent, like just, you know, working out, you know, reaching out to people, letting everybody know what I'm doing, like growing my Instagram. Like I went from 300 followers like two and a half years ago to over 14,000. It's insane.
Just by being like posting every day, like making sure like I had just something out there to kind of show what I was doing and that I'm really, I know what I'm doing and I'm providing like value to. Value.
you know, to my clients and I'm going to do everything I can and work as hard as I can to make sure, you know, they have the best experience with me and they, we find the house of their dreams. So it's, it's really rewarding. And so that's really just little by little how I rebuilt my life.
I love it. It's so funny. Cause I'm sitting here looking up at the ceiling and smiling because when you go through shit like that, that's the heavy lift. Like that is like when you are feeling emotionally, that is when you're feeling in your soul, your body hurts. It almost hurts physically to make that next good decision of waking up in the morning, eating the right food.
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Chapter 5: How did Heather rebuild her career after divorce?
Everything you're doing, they're watching. They are watching. You may not know it, but they are stalking your ass. And they're finding the holes, right? Because this is what the kids do, especially the 14-year-old.
Yes.
Okay. And then your 12-year-old, maybe not your 10-year-old yet, but your 14 and 12-year-old are trying to find the chink in your armor. Where are the holes so I can exploit them when I'm in trouble and throw it back? And if you don't have them, if you don't show them, they can't. Right. But if you just display determination, grit, resiliency. Yes. Like that's what they're going to learn.
So what they what they find is they start looking for your holes, but only find all the light.
That's true.
And then they gravitate to that and then that becomes them.
I try to be just a positive, the light within. I try to be like that because I don't want them to, when they think about me, I want them to know that I'm going to always be there for them and have something encouraging to say. No matter what they've done, I always tell them, if you come to me and tell me the truth,
And they're great kids, but I'm thinking as they get older, if you come to me and tell me the truth, you're not going to be in trouble. I'm here for you. And I want to make sure we have that relationship where later on if they're in trouble or something's going on, that they can come to me and know I'm here for them.
That's how you keep them from getting behind the wheel drunk.
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Chapter 6: What are Heather’s strategies for maintaining balance and peace?
So it's like for you and you're sitting there saying like, I can support myself. I can support my own life. I can support my kids. I can do this. There's, there's audience people right now listening that don't understand that they don't understand what you said because they think, well, why wouldn't you be able to?
Explain to them, like enlighten them because they need to understand what you went through and what this actually means.
Well, it just, it was really, everything was taken care of. Like, you know, I would take care of our children, which I am so grateful that I was able to do, like be home with them and take care of them. And, but every year, like I would, whenever I would need to renew my real estate license, it was always like, you don't need to do that. Like, you don't, you don't need that.
We've had kids like, you don't, you don't need that. I'm not paying for that. Like, you know, things like that. And it was like five or $600. And, you know, he had a really great, like a very successful career, but it was anything that had to do with me bettering myself. It was just, it caused so many issues.
Cause it was never about you bettering yourself. It was about you being able to stand on your own two feet.
Right.
And not need him.
And when you're in that mindset though, you don't realize like that's what's going on. Like, because I would, again, I would say, oh gosh, like I do have three kids. Like, oh, you know, it's like, but using that and it makes you crazy. And I'm sure people can relate to this. You don't really, when you're in it, you're like, oh gosh, well, everything's taken care of.
Like, I don't have to pay for my own health insurance, car insurance, you know? Like, my kids, like, how am I going to feed them and all these things? And so it's like staying stuck in a life that is not where you want to be, but it's safe. Right. Because, I mean, safe as in, like, you have a house, you have, you know.
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Chapter 7: How does Heather’s story inspire her children and others?
Right.
And so that, but that's when the first ever The Determined Society was recorded when I was 42 years old.
See.
And this, so I'm 46 now this month. I think it's maybe tomorrow. Wait, or the 27th. I'd have to look at that. It is the four year anniversary of the show.
Congratulations.
Wild, isn't it?
That is wild.
But that was a pivot I did at 42. And it wasn't the only thing I did. Now, recently, now this is the only thing I do, right? But before that, it was like, you know, I was a baseball coach and a teacher. I was a sales rep. And now I'm doing, now I'm shifting to this. But it was a hard pull. It was like something inside me was just like, like,
trying to come out and I was like okay I gotta explore this I gotta figure out what it is I'm probably gonna suck no one's gonna listen right that was like one of the first the first episode was like if you're listening, thank you. I don't know who's going to listen.
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Chapter 8: What advice does Heather give to those considering leaving difficult relationships?
Like it's the only time I could do it. Yes. Right. So my morning routine is about executing things that I say I'm going to do. And so if, if someone else is, I need to wake up at seven and I need to read 15 pages, then yes, then that's what you do. That's your morning routine. It doesn't have to be groundbreaking.
It just has to be like something that you said you were going to do and you stick to it. And so I think that's like an important lesson. So as we wrap up, the one question I have for you, obviously this is the Determined Society. What does determination mean to you and how have you applied it to your last two years?
Okay, so determination means to me making a choice and following through with it the best possible way I can. Like believing in myself and not going back on a choice that I've made. Love it. Um, and I have really, the past two years I have, I made a choice and even though it was, you know, scary, like sad at times, you know, different, I had different emotions.
I kept going and I was determined to get to the other side. I was determined to have my house, have my kids, like all these things. And just, that's what it really means to me. Not giving up.
Yeah. It's so funny because I look at, you know, motivation. I look at determination and then I, and I like to, I like to think of this as like, it's doing what you say you're going to do long after the emotion wears off.
Exactly. That's it.
It's easy to get excited about getting in shape. It's easy to get excited about being a top luxury realtor. It's easy to get excited about having a top 10 podcast. It's easy to get excited about it. But what happens when that emotion wears off? What are you going to do? So thank you so much for coming on today.
Thank you for having me.
Absolutely. Coming all this way. This episode was awesome.
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