SANDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do we all feel like we're Tua's dad? Then, Dan reveals his Heisman Trophy vote as the crew has a discussion on Travis Hunter winning the award, how Ashton Jeanty should feel about it, and whether or not the Heisman still means what it used to. Plus, Nevin Shapiro is back. Also, the transfer portal is open for business and it inspired Jeremy to write a Christmas song, but was it really a Christmas song? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys?
I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.
If you are not listening to God Bless Football, you should be because the chemistry that Stugatz and Billy have is real and it is funny. And I just witnessed it during the break when Billy did something, and I'd like to know what it is because I could hear the echo of it in Stugatz's loud headphones.
But he was saying things that were making Stugatz jiggle, this body that hurts after three months of hard covering football. was making him jiggle with delight because of whatever it is he was saying, I think I could hear about Jason Sanders.
I don't know what you were tickling Stugatz with, but was it that you're now associated with Jason Sanders' failures because you're the loudest public enemy of this man he's ever had?
I'm very aggressive there. Take it easy.
You are the national face for criticizing Jason Sanders, not trusting Jason Sanders, doubting Jason Sanders. There's no one in the history of the American media that has done it more than you publicly and had your name attached.
Well, I mean, in fairness, I think most people just don't think about Jason Sanders. That was probably rude. I'm sorry to the Sanders family. You've been great at field goals. Extra points, you're horrific.
So Billy tweeted out yesterday, and I just saw the tweet because Sanders had just missed an extra point. Billy simply tweeted out, Sanders! With three exclamation points.
I told him, and we'll break the fourth wall here. I told him, I was like, as soon as he misses, I always have to run and just tweet something out right away because I know that it's coming. It's a burden. They're going to associate it. I'm like, I hate it. Poor guy. He's probably not a high right now.
And if he's on the sideline checking Twitter for whatever reason and he sees me tweeting about him, it's weird. By the way, you mentioned God bless football. You can vote for us right now for Best American Football Podcast. Go to sportspodcastgroup.com. Vote for us. This year, tough competition. We have the New Heights podcast. We have Mina Kimes there. We have Club Shea Shea's there.
What?
And two of the Simses are in there doing something. So it's actually Nightcap is in there. And then the offensive line with Annie Ager. There's a lot of stiff competitions here. So we'd appreciate your votes.
Two Simses?
Yeah, it's not Chris. It's Matt and Phil. They have a podcast together. Who cares? It's weird. Who cares? Who cares? Yeah, who cares?
They call it the Sims 2.
Yeah. Sims complete. It's actually incomplete because they're missing the one Sims people care about.
I mean, Chris doesn't care. Chris endorsed ours.
We actually had Chris Sims come on and endorse our podcast over his own family's last Friday. So I'm going to get that video.
That's right. God bless football. They have the Sims that only football fans want.
Not Dolphins fans. They hate him. People hate Chris Sims. It's weird. Yeah.
He is exceptional on God bless football. He's all right.
No, no, no. That's perfect.
He's exceptional. Andy comes on knowing he's exceptional. And I've got the tattoo of Kyle Shanahan to prove it. I really know my stuff. We're best friends. I know how football's evolving. I'm a great analyst. He absolutely is. And then Billy undercuts him because Billy's the Duke.
Yes, but our audience loves that. They love the dynamic between Billy and Chris Sims because Billy really gets under his skin. It's funny. All right, gang, enough about me.
It's Dan's birthday.
It's funny.
Happy birthday.
Thank you. Not dead. I'm not good. Yes, not dead. That's what Stugatz has been saying. In fact, it's been a combination of not dead and when I was walking out there and somebody asked me, how's your birthday? Stugatz answered, getting older. And it's like, yeah, true for all of us.
It doesn't stop.
Pretty much a universal truth. That's right. Getting older. All of us. Sucks. It's the one thing we all agree on.
The one thing. There are no other things. We are all in it together. Getting older. Yep. That's what we're doing. One of the days is happy. The rest are just getting older.
Better than the alternative. Yeah. That's what you say.
Benjamin Button. Dead. That's the alternative. And you're not dead. And you're not.
Yes.
Celebrate.
That's a birthday.
So I'm dead, not dead.
There it is again.
Well, so Billy brought up. Please don't have an accident today because this would be horrible time for all of us. Oh, it would cause us all our careers.
But you'd get aggregated. And that's probably what you want for your birthday, right? Only if he's in costume, Lucy. Never mind.
If you want to get aggregated, you got to go on air. What? You got to go. Like just die on air.
Imagine the clicks. Right. Okay, so now would be a good time to do that? No. Please don't.
Not after we just chanted you're not dead. Give it a week. Make us look bad.
Billy, in the middle of that. shouted and got Stugatz's attention. This delighted Stugatz so much because in the middle of your football Sunday, there was a play in Texans-Dolphins that Stugatz was going to make matter or something because A-Chan chased down at the six-yard line and turned a short touchdown on a two-way interception into just a field goal.
And Stugatz was ready to make Hustle the determined spirit of the Dolphins roaring back to in the mix. And in the middle of that, I, not unlike Billy, who has his own Sanders, and I've got to admit it, I'm jealous of it, was hoping that when people saw Tua running away from the pick six like a coward, he's doing the Dan.
He's doing that thing Dan has recommended for 15 years, which is when a quarterback throws the ball that he just run off the field because it's too dangerous out there.
Get off.
You were so proud of him, huh?
Don't run on that. Yes, I was proud of Tua. I was proud of Tua. Yes. Yes. Because earlier in the game, he had made me say when he dove headfirst, no! Tua, what are you doing? You dum-dum! Stop! We're all doing the same thing. That's crazy. I've never watched an athlete like I'm his mother.
It's like a guttural reaction. You just make a noise.
But he throws a near pick six, and you're cheering for Tua because he's not tackling the guy. It's always like, oh, boy. Here we go. What is going on?
The crazy thing about it is that Cam Newton has said it, and obviously have very different body types. Cam Newton is a monster of a man. He is huge. But Cam Newton has said that he can't go a day without people bringing up him not diving to get a fumble during the Super Bowl. And if it was Tua, we'd be like, no, no, no. No, no, precious boy. Don't go over there. Run away from that ball.
Stugatz is so right in that I'm more proud of Tua when he doesn't get in the way of someone returning a potential pick six than when he completes a 50-yard bomb to someone. It's such a better feeling to watch him not die on the field than to do something spectacular.
He's not dead. He's not dead.
Too soon. All right. You know, I got to be honest with you, okay, because it's weird. It's just we are watching him in a way that is so paternal that I'm not kidding when I say I'm watching all the rest of the football. But there was only one play yesterday that felt to me like somebody running alongside but out of the way of the running of the Bulls.
It was like watching Tua in uniform just run safely away from the running of the Bulls like we want him to, like he should, like he needs to.
I feel like Tua's my son. Same.
What are we doing? What are we doing?
And then you look at Josh Allen.
Oh, he doesn't care.
The most annoying play. The pocket breaks down. It's like, okay, keep him in the pocket. You don't do that. He gets out of the pocket. It's like, okay, he's running to the sideline. He's going to run out of bounds. He's going to throw it away. Nope. Across his body, darts it 30 yards for a 45-yard reception.
It is weird to see Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen play that way. Yes, where everyone else has to. Even Patrick Mahomes is eking to 13 or 12 and 1. on his knees, and every game is, I need to run for six and a half yards on third and six.
Scamper. No one scampers like Patrick Mahomes.
But it's crazy.
It's a good scamper.
You guys are agreeing with my analysis on what the Chiefs have become as it used to be Tyreek Hill and Kelsey, and now it's just, can Mahomes get us four and a half yards on third and four?
And hey, defenders. Once he passes the line of scrimmage, you don't have to fall for that deke. He always is like deking somebody.
Easy for you to say, though.
I'm just saying. I know I would be bad at that, but hey, linebacker that's done this his entire life, learn.
Billy, you were excited. In the middle of that Texans game, until which of the Tua interceptions broke your heart as the guy who two years ago bought a Tua jersey because you want to believe in this team? And again, another season, I think you're willing to say, falls at your feet or in the mix? Six and eight in the mix?
I mean, they're still on the graphic there, but so are the Bengals. Someone has to be in the graphic, Billy. Really? Yeah. Well, I mean, the Colts are in the graphic. They have to be. Okay. Well, I'll say this. And I'm going to go on record and say this, Dan. Where's my camera? Look this way. Dolphins have an uphill battle if they want to make the playoffs. And that's as far as I'm willing to go.
Been uphill all season. Yeah. So you asked which interception broke me. It's a good question because I was in a group chat with my brother-in-law and my cousin. And I texted them and I said, this is the drive, boys. And then they threw an interception. And then the next one I said... This is the drive, boys. And then there was another interception on the first play.
But, and I was feeling bad, Dan, and I was actually texting you during the game while this was going on, and I said, I think I'm going to have to start looking into this situation because it seems as though this might be Tua's fault. Well,
I know no one wants to blame him. I'm sorry it took me this long to get here. And yes, because, Billy, thank you. You were trying to produce me from afar by just simply texting me. And I should have taken the cue, and I'm sorry I didn't. That you were now investigating everything with Tua.
What I said was, quote, and I apologize in advance because I just need to apologize. I said, people might be right about Tua, dot, dot, dot. I'm investigating.
So we're at the stages of Billy Gill, the Duke, number four internationally ranked insider, is officially investigating whether we know enough about football to know whose fault the three interceptions were yesterday. Tua's or Hill's?
Yeah, so at 3.44, I texted you, I'm investigating. And at 4.18, I texted you back, investigation over. Wow, that was quick. It was Tyreek's fault.
And it's based just on one tweet from at CK Parrot that said, Given Mike McDaniel made clear in his halftime interview that Tyreek Kill was not where he was supposed to be on that first pick off by Kalen Bullock, we know Tyreek was at the center of all three interceptions. And I said, you know what? Good enough for me. Tyreek's fault. He's washed. He's washed.
It was also two of just forcing the ball to Tyreek Kill. That third interception. You get one hand on the ball, you're supposed to make the catch. You get two hands on the ball. I don't even know what the saying is. But you're not supposed to let them come and just rip it out of your hands. That's not how football works.
Shame on me, I think. It's two hands on the ball.
One hand on the ball, shame on you. Two hands on the ball, shame on me. And maybe a personal foul.
All right. Can I also just can we laugh for just a moment on the idea that there is a penalty for jumping through the end zone to honor Marshawn Lynch, who deserved to celebrate that way after the single greatest, toughest run in the history of professional football?
That if you were to penalize that, that you should also penalize that throughout my football Sunday, I saw giant men winding up from miles away to just throw punches at footballs directly. That one of them hit a chin on the way to its football, but that you just have giant men out there now just throwing giant punches.
And in at least three of the games, Nick Chubb dropped one of them, and he never drops the football. And so I'm like, we're good with that? We're good.
Punching it out? Yeah. If they were sexual punches, then that would be a different story.
We're good with guys just running across the field and punching people as hard as they can. And sometimes they hit the football and sometimes they're going to hit you on the chin. We're good with that, yes?
I mean.
If you hip thrust while you're doing it, and then it's also after the play.
15 yards, yes.
No sexy stuff. But Super Bowl licks, I'm investigating.
Okay, all right. So I need both of these investigations to continue throughout the show today.
Well, Billy's is done. Mine's concluded, and nothing's ever to his fault. Case closed.
Did you guys enjoy or care about the Heisman Trophy going to Travis Hunter? We spent the season talking about it. We love doing this. MVP of football, most valuable player in college football. And Cam Ward, we spent the season talking about him.
And then Travis Hunter, well, first of all, in the streets, Shador Sanders is throwing the ball, a football in the cold in the New York streets with neighbors because Shador Sanders is about to dominate the draft. And so is Travis Hunter.
Thank you.
I mean, someone needed to clear that up. I knew about it because Giants fans were getting aroused.
That's correct. It was in the streets of New York. But Colorado, in some ways, and these two players have resuscitated a program. And Travis Hunter just won a Heisman over a running back who'd had a better season than the last three Heisman-winning running backs. And it's right to be heard about, like,
okay, I get it, but I thought we usually gave the award on merit, not, oh, this guy's more unique than I am, and therefore that's more valuable than what I did at Boise State.
Do you have a vote, Dan?
I do.
Do you ever reveal who you voted for afterwards?
You're not supposed to.
I think after you can, but before you can't, right? Just whisper it. No, but I'm allowed to. Were you one of the six first place votes for Cam Ward? Yeah, I can guess.
When I saw six for Cam Ward, I said I know one of them. Do you want Billy to say it in that voice? Yes. Okay. Yes.
You don't have to tell us. I'm just curious.
No, I am one of the six votes for Cam Ward. Big shock. Yes, I am. Who'd you have at number two? The Boise State kid.
Oh, wow. How much did Mike pay you to vote for Cam Ward?
Travis Hunter was third. Wow. Where'd you put Kyle McCord?
Shador got one vote for first place, I think. You would have thought that would have been me? I don't know.
Maybe.
While we're talking Heisman, I want to play a clip from our show. This is from September 16th, week three of the season, when Travis Hunter was plus 3,500 to win the award. If we're being honest...
The Heisman Trophy should go to Travis Hunter. He's the best receiver in college football and the best cornerback. It's God bless football.
It's a religious service. That's what it is. It's a religious service. If they have won you so much money this year, if you have been taking... DraftKings does all this number breakdown, all these serious Ross Tuckers running around. They know the things that you think you need to know. But they're not killing it gambling the way that Billy and Stu Gatz are.
How did Big Board Bets and Stu Gatz, sorry, how'd that do this weekend?
So Big Board Bets is a Monday thing. There's two Monday night games. And Dan, Monday, two Monday night games means we get the BBBBBBBB, the bonus board. So we do both games. So there should be six picks. But I couldn't make a decision on the first game. So there's four picks for the first game, three picks for the second game. And I have a weird feeling where I should be feeling confident.
I'm just like, ugh. I don't know. I don't know about this one. Which isn't how you should be kind of presenting all of these picks, especially when you're doing well. But I'm like, I don't know. And I'm going to give you a quick spoiler alert. In my second game, I did some deep dives and I took the under on punts for the game.
I want to tell you a story. I'm serious here. My wife and my two daughters, they begged me to buy a Peloton. So I bought a Peloton. And then I watched that Peloton sit in my office and stare at me. So you know what I did one day? I looked at it. And so I decided to get off my ass and I jumped on the Peloton because no one else was using it and I paid for it. I mean, so why not?
Then I realized eventually that they bought it for me. And I got to tell you, way more challenging than I could have ever imagined. Peloton coaches are walking the walk. I love the coaches. I do the Grateful Dead one. It's fantastic. They have a sub three hour marathon runner, military trained athlete, a former college basketball player, and so many other well-rounded coaches on their team.
All this experience really shows in their classes. which are never short of challenging, especially for me. So I jumped on it that first time. It was challenging, more challenging than I thought. Then I wanted to beat the bike, and so I kept jumping on it, and I absolutely love it. I mean, I'm the only one who uses it, but again, they got it for me. I mean, I had no idea.
That's a little passive-aggressive, don't you think? Find your push, find your power with Peloton at OnePeloton.com.
This episode of the Dan Levitard Show with Stu Gatz is sponsored by Liquid IV. The holidays are not a sprint, ladies and gentlemen. They are a marathon. It's a stressful, busy weekend, right? There's a lot of traveling, a lot of kissing babies, shaking hands, a lot of stuff. We'll see you next time. True to fruit flavors that keep you hydrated.
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Don Libetard. I may take it one step further.
You're getting sexier by the moment. Slow down. Slow down. We haven't even gotten. Stugatz. Jason Sanders, you're unnoticed.
Oh, wow.
Oh, my God. What in spite of him. Oh, wow.
I love you, Duke. This is the Don Levitas show with the Stugatz.
So here's the thing, okay, and I hurt for Billy on this. Now that there's pressure on these, Billy wants to do this quietly. Billy does not want everyone expecting to win or lose money with Billy's knowledge. Big board bets, yeah. But if you're going to force him into the corner, then he will take great care in the analysis and try to actually figure out how to win these bets.
Him and Juju are not doing this casually, and it hurts them. They don't want to lose your money. They don't want to be doing this. We forced them into a corner by signing with a gambling giant. Our sugar daddy pays for everything. So, Billy, Juju, we need you to do the bets. And now Billy goes out there, and people are losing money if Billy loses, but two-thirds of the time, Billy ain't losing.
If you have followed Billy and you have followed God Bless Football and all the picks that we've made, you have had a hell of a season. I'm serious. Like, Billy's on fire. I was 3-3 yesterday. I have the Vikings and Falcons coming up tonight. But I am 64-41-2 on the season. Now, listen, I'm losing money because I buy so many points. But I am 64-41-2 on the season. And I believe Billy's like 42-19.
That's ridiculous. 41-17.
Yeah, and I'm in the weird position where people from work are texting me now, like, what's the play today? And I'm like, whoa, what are we doing? But I did give away a lock of the year privately yesterday. Wow, did you? It was the Bill's Lions over, come on. I mean, lock of the year. Everybody knew that. Jeez, everybody knew that one. Stevie could have seen that.
That game, there was no close second, right? I mean, I know the Saints and Commanders sneak in there and all the games are great. Jets, Jags, it's all asinine. The fact that all the games are close and you're interested in everything and the difference between the Commanders being... you know, a favorite.
Yeah.
And losing a game where you're like, really, Spencer Rattler? Really? That's what's going to change everything around for you? But getting back to the Heisman, you guys were good with Travis Hunter?
Yeah, I was fine with it. I mean, if I had to vote, which I don't have one, I don't know how one goes about getting one, but I'm interested if anybody who has that power is listening. I would have voted for Gentee, but it's also like... I think you just have to look at it in the sense that Ashton Gentry has had one of the best seasons we've ever seen for a running back in college football.
He was so close to breaking Barry Sanders' record, and he sat out a lot this season because Boise State was blowing people out. It just happened to happen the year that there's a generational talent playing on both sides of the ball. I think either of them would have been a great choice. I would have voted for Gentry, but it's hard to look at Travis Hunter, what he's done,
The fact that he's playing two positions and playing them both incredibly well and say that he doesn't deserve the Heisman. I think this is it was exciting to have a vote where it felt kind of close, though, where you really didn't. I think we kind of knew Travis Hunter was going to win, but like it wasn't just a blowout. We know Jaden Daniels was going to win last year.
And so I'm fine with it either way.
It was the closest vote, I think they said since 2009. So it was even though Travis Hunter got the majority of the first place votes. It was very, very close, Lucy, to your point. So I'm with Lucy. I thought both were deserving. I think voters have different criteria when they vote. But like Travis Hunter's.
ability to play on both sides of the ball kind of puts him in a space where you can't really just compare his stats, especially because he plays defense, too. He had four interceptions. He had the fourth best coverage grade of all cornerbacks on PFF this year. Quarterbacks had terrible passer ratings against him. Those are hard to compare against...
over 2,400 yards or whatever it was and 30 touchdowns, what Jenty had. So it's hard to compare because he's playing two different positions so well. But I thought both would have been deserving. I don't know who I would have voted for. I think it just comes down to how you vote for the player, which is the criteria is what, Dan? Most outstanding player? It's pretty vague.
You voted for Cam Ward, so you didn't have either of them. So everyone kind of has their own thing they vote for.
You guys obviously love college football more than the rest of us do. I don't think I'm speaking out of turn in saying that. Was it appointment viewing for you on Saturday? Because I'm wondering if it's a situation of if things have changed or if I'm just getting old. Because I remember the Heisman used to be appointment viewing.
You'd have to sit down, you'd watch it, and right afterwards they'd debut a premiere, a 30 for 30 that you wanted to watch. And it was like a whole spectacle and a whole day's worth of things leading up to who's going to win the Heisman and then what am I going to watch right after. Used to mean something. Yeah.
And like, I don't, I, again, it could just be me getting old and reprioritizing things. But like, I just kind of like checked on my phone with 10 minutes to go in the ceremony. And I'm like, I'm going to see who wins that way. And I watched it on my phone.
Yeah, I tune in with, like, 20 minutes left because it's, what, an hour-long program and you don't find out the winner until late. Like, I watch enough college football that I know their backstories. I've seen the clips from their families. I've seen the game day specials. So, like, I don't necessarily feel like I'm seeing a whole lot.
And it's also, like, half of it is just them going through all the Heisman winners who showed up. I said, oh, I saw you last year. Yeah. It's cool.
All the handshaking, the line of Heisman. I don't watch the show. I'm still interested in the Heisman debate and the voting and everything like that and the players themselves. But like Lucy said, I don't need to watch the show because I was at dinner and I just saw the notification on my phone. I was like, oh, cool. He won. Okay.
I did think it was cool that Lil Wayne was there. I think everyone should be able to bring a celebrity with them. And it was so funny because Travis Hunter won and was like, I've actually never listened to Lil Wayne before until recently. You're like, well, he's here with you at the Heisman Ceremony.
But thank you for being here. I did enjoy that part of it, Dan, Travis Hunter, because you see the glitch, you see the jewelry, you hear all the stories, him and Shador doing whatever they want, running amok over Colorado in that program. I saw a different kid than perhaps was portrayed to me throughout. The last two seasons.
It's so great when you learn about a kid after he wins the Heisman and they step up and they make a great speech. And I learned so much about him in that spot. His speech was phenomenal. He is a great public speaker. He's not afraid of it. He thanked everyone, thanked his dad. It was very emotional. And I enjoy seeing that. I still enjoy seeing that with my sport.
Well, I mean, you've got somebody who's under a helmet, who's a star, who then takes off the helmet. And in much pomp and circumstance with voters and handshaking and everything else, we still anoint as if it matters. Here's the king of college football. You asked me what my criterion is, because certainly you can accuse me of being a homer for voting for Cam Ward.
My thing was, oh, that team wouldn't have been any good without him. Like we wouldn't. Would not have spent the entire season talking about that offense. Best offense, best statistical University of Miami quarterback I've ever seen. And that's the reason that I voted for him.
But I am wondering, while I get into the merits of the argument with you guys, if I shouldn't just figure out how to hand over my vote to Lucy and Jessica and Jeremy and Michael. Ryan, the same way that your dad hands over the vote.
Well, you can't give it to three people, so we're going to have to have a competition to see who wins.
Not Mike. But Jessica just said she didn't know who she would vote for, which surprises me if she enjoys the argument.
Well, because I don't have a vote, so I don't really have to sit and think about it too much. I would also add that I don't think Boise State would be in the playoff if it weren't for Ashton Gentry. He had an absurd season. I think the one thing that really sucks about him losing is that I feel like it, you know,
maybe sends a bad message about the sort of season that you would have to have as a group of five player to win a Heisman Trophy award. I think that kind of stinks, to be honest. But I also don't think that you should vote for him to send a message or prove a point or something like that. I genuinely think both players are worthy of a first place vote.
My favorite Ashton Gentry stat, and there are a lot of them, is that if you just counted his yards after contact, he would be the second leading rusher in the nation behind himself. That's crazy. It's like, I wish that like... I think he is a little bit at a disadvantage playing for Boise State, obviously, for a few reasons.
One of which being that, you know, it's not as easy to find on TV and it's West Coast, so it's late at night. But, like, what he did is literally insane. Like, he had a season we're not going to see again for a long, long time. And I think Jess's point is so great that it's like, if you could do all of that and still not win the Heisman, like, it's just, it's tough.
But it's also like he lost to Travis Hunter, someone who very much also deserved it. Also, I would have voted for Riley Leonard if I had a vote.
But I'm not a homer.
Now there's another big story in the college world that we haven't even discussed yet. And it's very impactful down here. And it's Nevin Shapiro has paid his debt to society. He had his sentence or his whatever commuted. So he's done now. So I think the big question is, since he's paid his debt to society, does you welcome him back? No. Bring him some money. Granted, $930 million Ponzi scheme.
I'm sure some of that's still laying around somewhere.
Do we bring him back now?
Like the University of Miami? Not we. Did they bring him back?
Have you guys read anything interesting about this story that is Nevin Shapiro? You guys were all as surprised by this as I was where we're like, wait a minute, what? Biden did what for who for why? For where?
Do we have the answer as to the why of it?
Okay, but have you guys done any follow-up reading or it's just like Biden pardoned the Ponzi scheming?
Well, he commuted. He basically, I think it's just time served now. Like, you're done.
Yeah, I think he commuted the sentences of like a thousand plus nonviolent offenders. So I think he was in that batch. I don't know if there was like a specific reason or connection. If that exists, I haven't read about it, but...
So just, okay, time served. It's fine. Never mind about that whole Ponzi scheme thing. And the last four years you've been at home, even though you're one of the most traitorous things in the history of fraud in this city. A city replete with plenty of fraud.
This whole administration is just very senior spring right now. Who cares? It doesn't matter. Everything is bad. Why not?
It's an odd use of the pardon, though. I mean, is it not?
No, it's not the pardon.
It's not the pardon.
Yeah, the pardon's going to his son.
Oh, okay. Yeah, that's a different... He works... Oh, never mind. I'm not going to do this one.
Nevin... Odd use also. Nevin, obviously, $930 million.
Any of us would do that for our son.
I don't know if my dad would.
Any of us would do that for our son.
I'd do it for Tua. $930 million. That's bad, right?
But Miami standards.
I was going to say, if Hurricanes fans are being honest, he's good for the program. Any pub? Good pub? Is he not?
He's good for the program.
The idea, that's a good moral question just to everyone in the audience. No matter how awful your son, would you pardon him? I'm just curious.
Yeah, I think my dad would teach me a lesson. He'd be like, hey, shouldn't have done all that fraud. I want you to sit and think about what you've done. See you in 20 years.
It's my last chance. Shouldn't have done all that blow. Shouldn't have done any of that. Like, what are you doing?
Dad, oh, pardon at the end. With that one last power given to you by privilege. Yeah, you're above the law, kid.
Pardon the interruption.
PTI. They swung you. They swung you by the ankles at me to defeat me with their own Fox network. And at the end, before the grave, as I lose my mind, I will pardon you. You disappointment forever.
So you welcome him back, right?
I mean, this school brought in John Ruiz. Like, you're fine.
Who cares? Life wallet. What is that? I don't know. I'm not going to ask any more questions.
So hold on. I want you guys. So you, as I try to figure out how to give my Heisman vote over to Lucy and Jessica, I can't help but see the disappointment in their eyes that Dan Lebitard, alleged journalist, voted for Cam Ward. One of six. You're disappointed by me.
I don't think anyone was disappointed. I think when we saw the six, everybody knew.
Yeah, we all knew.
We definitely knew who it was.
Does Poppy still have his vote? Because Billy texted us. I was like, oh, yeah, that was definitely Dan. And the second of the six was Poppy. We've got to figure out who the other four are. Barry Jackson, does he have a vote?
Does Greg have a vote? No, he doesn't. Tim Reynolds, yeah, probably.
My father gave back his vote. I was mad at him for doing it. Otherwise, we'd have two votes. Otherwise, I could just give the vote to both of you, and then you could just vote. Because you think I have, in one of the closest votes ever, Metal Ark Media represented your thought process on what this voting should have been in a way that was biased. It was homerific.
Cam Ward would have finished a bronze medalist for the both of you. If that. If that.
Well, you also told us like a month ago I voted for him. With my first place ballot. It's like, buddy, there's still four games to go.
I will lose my vote if I said that publicly. Oh, that didn't happen publicly. Never happened.
I don't think that happened. Manny Navarro probably voted for Cam Ward, right? No doubt. If we were to guess.
It's like voting for Jill Stein. Like, what did you accomplish?
It's for the next ballot, you know.
My vote was wasted. Do we have a song here? I want to talk for just a second because something gets overshadowed in the noise of the last two seasons about college football and where it is that Colorado is an overwhelming success, even if it doesn't end up in a playoff run. Let's transition here with a Transfer Portal song, please.
Old Mr. Oil is soon gonna spoil The best college players from across the land Everybody's waiting for the man with the bag Cause the portal is opened again Don't care if you're still playing And know you're not staying Unless they start putting more money in your hand Everybody's waiting for the man with the bag Cause the portal is here again
I'll be here watching all the games that you've played through the year. Y'all get yours. If you've played every game, you should even kind of good. So make this December the one you'll remember, the best and the richest that you ever did have. Everybody's waiting for the man with the bag, because the portal is here again.
So why is it that I am both delighted and horrified by how much Jeremy enjoys parading around with a couple of canned hams dancing as if he's got a top hat on about the portal? It's a bit long. But here's the thing, though. I so appreciate the vulnerability of, hey, I'm going to put myself out there with song. But then he chooses that song.
It's Christmas time, Dan.
But did you guys feel the Christmas in that?
No.
Everybody's waiting for the man with the bag.
Christmas! If you've played every game you should, even kind of good so maybe.
So you guys, that didn't feel like Christmas to me. Are your Christmases different than my Christmases? Yours are cold Christmases. Help me.
It's a Christmas song. It's literally a Christmas song.
What song do you think that is? Man with a Bag.
Everybody's waiting for the Man with a Bag.
It just feels like the 50s. It's Santa.
Nevin Shapiro, the Man with a Bag.
Exactly.
Yes, I'm doing what Stugatz is doing, which is it just feels like the 50s. It's not a winter time. It's the time of my grandparents.
You just clearly don't know the song.
Well, yes.
I think they celebrated Christmas in the 50s.
Are your Christmas feelings, Lucy and Jessica, you are in the middle of the holiday season. You're surrounded by Christmas fair. Does it feel like Christmas to you in Miami, given that it's 69 degrees on most days? No.
except for it feels like it feels like christmas in here we got decorations cookies i made cookies and they're really good i made lots of christmas really really good i made six different types of christmas cookies i made italian rainbow cookies i made lemon ricotta cookies i made these tahini butterscotch sesame bars with chocolate i made pistachio thumbprints i made homemade paki
Are they decorated for Christmas? Because none of those sound like Christmas cookies to me.
They're all Christmas cookies. They're all out there.
Do they just have Christmas themes?
They're green and red. Go look. Oh, I made gingerbread latte cookies. That was a late addition to the Christmas cookie box.
I do not believe that there is anything more criminally underappreciated at Metal Ark Media than Jessica and those desserts made with the finest of things. A little too healthy. During Christmas season. A little too healthy, but don't taste healthy.
No, they taste good. They're not healthy.
That's the important thing.
I need more gluten with my cookies. They're not healthy. I know how they taste if Jason would stop eating them. I mean, that's for sure. So we're back to this again? Yeah. And by the way, it's not a Christmas song. If you have to tell me it's a Christmas song, not a Christmas song. Listen, I'm telling you, when I hear Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, I know it's a Christmas song.
When I hear Frosty, I know it's a Christmas song. When I hear Silent Night, I know, Christmas song.
Play the beginning of that again without the vocal and tell me that doesn't sound like a Christmas song. No.
No.
Are you kidding?
No. No. It sounds like a playful sort of central Santa from the 50s. Oh, what? Central Santa? 15-yard penalty. He was throwing his hip out as he... Santa's coming... Look. Santa's what? Santa's feeling... Santa's doing what? Santa's feeling himself. He has Super Bowl licks. Santa's doing what? Santa's coming out of... Santa's coming...
That's the problem. You're not fixing it.
Out of his house, and he's throwing a hip over, like he's starting to dance. You're imagining Jeremy in a Santa hat, are you not? He's trying, he's got a microphone, he's cheesing, he's maximum cheesing it up on Christmas. He's parading down a walkway, coming out of his house, singing in a camera as Santa, and he's throwing out a hip, and it's a little sensual.
It's a confident hip from a sensual Santa.
Should we film the music video or? Oh, Jesus.
There it is. There he is. Oh. There it is. He's got a cane of some sort. There's Super Bowl licks right there. There it is.
Can you guys just admit your Christmas song knowledge isn't that deep? That's all it is.
Yes. It's just hard to admit. But yes.
Or to praise me for anything.
Well, yes. Also agreed. But those two ignorances on my part make me not like the song. So, now where are we?
It's not a Christmas song.
Well, and then it makes me- It's a show tune. Then it makes me rush at the song with criticism, makes me rush at the song with criticism because I didn't get it. I didn't get my own show.
I didn't get my own show because Jeremy thinks this. Can we play Frosty the Snowman? That's a Christmas song. You want to make that cover about Scott Frost?
That's when we could say Merry Christmas. Scott Frost is back. You want to run out? I'll go do it. Scott Frost is back. Frosty the Snowman.
All right, I'll be back. Get out of here. Good. That's how you do a Christmas song. Thank you. Jesus. What is this? Learn a little something around here. It's not moving.
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