EP #756: Bryan and Krissy can agree on one thing, at TCB, it's quantity over quality. Even Bryan's rebellious ChattyPT is revolting against so many episodes! Plus, Crypto kidnapping is now a thing and it's happening allot. Bryan recounts the story of a NY crypto bro who was tortured for days in an effort to get his BitCoin wallet access. Then, Bryan's new chat bot goes rogue! But Bryan learns that he has spoken over 7.1 million words on TCB...so far. It's Mental Health Awareness Month. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis, there is help: Call or Text 998. It's that simple. TCBits: Thursday Throw back to the original Tina, Tan & Tweeze Commercial. (2020) Watch EP #756 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits / TCBits Music: Written, Voiced and Produced by Bryan Green To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
Tina Tannen-Tweese is now reopened! After much ado about apparently nothing, we're happy to announce that Tina Tannen-Tweese is back open to the general public. Fake news! That's right, we here at Triple T are back in business and better than ever! So get those pasty marble bags off the couch and come get some fresh rage! We're talking to you. Tired of looking in the mirror and seeing a ghost?
TTT has two state-of-the-art tanning beds to suit all skin tones and types. With our advanced 1982 burning bulb systems, you'll walk away feeling red and ready to take on those selfies with confidence. You need more Facebook likes. Forget those modern UV filter beds other salons offer.
With our special microwave technology, you'll get that painful, dark, rose-colored glow you've always been looking for. Rosy red. Special event? Coronavirus party? Your NASCAR race coming up? Rude. Rude. Come on in and peel off that first layer of epidermis to achieve maximum stop sign hue. Prom night right around the corner? If you're 15 to 18, don't forget to ask for the Little Chicken Special.
You'll get a 37-minute turn in one of our two currently operating tan vans. Parked right on the corner of Lola Avenue and Fairburn Street, these vans are illegal in 49 states. But due to Tina's special relationship with the men of City Council, we are happy to bring back this early 80s tanning process. illegal. Ladies, have some extra pine straw in your flower beds?
Chapter 2: What happened during the reopening of Tina, Tan & Tweeze?
Fear not, our tweezing specialists are here to save your day or night. You're gonna get laid. With over two weeks of experience, our pube technicians will remove unwanted hair from your naughty bits one by one. The redder, the better. Our tweeze facilities are state-of-the-art with government-approved sterilization after each guest.
We only use the best Pine Sol cleaning products before, during, and after each tweeze. Smells like Christmas. You'll know you're getting the cleanest tweeze available with that unmistakable smell and Tina Tannen tweeze special burn after each plus. Feel that burn. Hey guys, don't be shy. It's 2020. We are happy to offer a full range of man potato and happy hole waxing.
Chill out and relax in our man cavern. Drink some beer, watch some ESPN, and get your sacks nice and slick. Silky smooth sacks. We are conveniently located in the center of town behind Chicken Palace on the first floor of Dr. D's Podiatry Clinic. We have a coveted two-star rating on Google, are open 24 hours a day except for Tuesdays, and take appointments by phone.
Ring, ring.
Have an upcoming birthday, anniversary, or wedding and need a place to host your event? Tina, Tan, and Tweeze now offers a full-service event facility in the back of the Tweezing Room, as well as food catered by Tina's mom, Vera Lee. She's out of jail. Pick from five different entrees, like squirrel pie... Raccoon Couscous, and Vera's locally famous 7 Meat Lasagna. Who wants seconds?
And don't forget, each event comes with Crabapple's finest DJ, Funky Fresh Fred. Fresh as a daisy. He'll be spinning all your favorite hits from the 70s, 80s, and more 80s. Hit the dance floor and let loose while Fred spins the soundtrack of the night. Winger, Air Supply, Warrant, and all your favorite couple skate songs will be available on Fred's iPod. Rock and roll, poochie coo.
You'll have a party for the ages at Tina, Tan & Tweeze.
Tina, Tan & Tweeze is legally obligated to disclose we are not allowed to serve food on-premises. All catering will be provided inside of Dr. D's podiatry examination room. Due to health department restrictions, all food must be served in a brown paper bag. Tina, Tan & Tweeze is obligated to announce that we no longer offer the one-hand band massage package.
We are happy to announce, however, that all massage therapists have been returned to their country of origin unharmed.
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Chapter 3: What are the dangers of cryptocurrency?
And there's a lot of folks out there dumping billions.
billions of dollars into a foreign company foreign dignitaries it's a free-for-all basically this is a black market that's out in the open and there's a lot of shenanigans that are happening and then there may be some utilities associated with some of the more stable coins i don't mean actual stable coins i mean more stable pricing coins like bitcoin or uh ether whatever you want to say i don't want to get into all of it because if you don't understand that it's just going to sound like fucking french to you but
Here's what I do want to point out. There are so few guardrails on these crypto coins that what is becoming very fashionable in the criminal world, in the criminal element, and even like white collar criminals, is to kidnap people who have a lot of crypto and
and that's right i heard about the guy in paris there's a guy in the guy in paris i told you about now french authorities have come out and said this hasn't happened once this has happened four times in the last 45 days wow that crypto associated folks folks who are known to have a lot of crypto coin in their crypto wallets uh have been kidnapped and extorted or or
you know an attempted extortion or torture quite frankly to get their crypto wallet keys because once the people grab the wallet key it's all it's all done they can then distribute that to a million different wallets with very little insight into who these people are where the money went it is insanity so has that were i mean has that work that people have gotten the keys to the wallets
Or have they recovered these people before?
Because criminals tend to be dumb, most of them have been caught. But some of them did have to give up some of their crypto. And whether they'll ever get it back, who knows? Because you can't just chase it down. It's hard. I mean, listen, I don't want to get into all the minutiae. Again, it's going to sound like French. And some of it I don't really understand myself.
So I don't want to sound like a dum-dum. But I will share with you one very scary thing that happened closer to home. crypto bro crypto guy uh was kidnapped and tortured for weeks by other crypto bros other people who had a lot of crypto to get his bitcoin wallet key because he had millions and millions and millions of dollars worth of bitcoin in that wallet for weeks and
And he kept on refusing to give them the Bitcoin passkey until finally, after weeks of torture, he said, okay, but it's in my other computer. I have to go get it. And when they loosened up his shackles to let him... Go get that computer. He ran out the front door of his brownstone in Manhattan with, like, underwear on and a robe and chased down a parking cop who then brought him to safety.
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Chapter 4: What is the story of the crypto bro kidnapping?
I agree.
Some guardrails. Right. Because otherwise, it's just one big black market. That's all it is. You know who's speaking at the crypto conference? The dude who started the beautiful Silk Road. The big, beautiful Silk Road.
That's right. That's right, because he just pardoned him. Is that right?
Trump pardoned the guy who started Silk Road. Now, I think, you know, badass, dude. Cool. You started a website where you can trade drugs. All right. Cool, bro. But. That's a dangerous game to play. And when you play the game and then you get caught, you know, you got to serve your time. That's just the way that it is. Part of me goes, all right, dude, cool. You know, you did it.
But then part of me goes, you got caught. You got to now do your time. But he's now speaking at the Bitcoin conference.
Oh, my God.
Remember that Martin Shkreli, the dude, the Shkreli dude who bought the OutKast album for like $16 million or something? He's next. No, Wu-Tang. Oh, Wu-Tang. Oh, Wu-Tang. So anyway, Martin Shkreli, he's going to be the next pardoned guy. And he's going to be the keynote speaker at next year's Bitcoin conference in Las Vegas. Sin City. Sin City, baby. Sin City.
Speaking of Wu-Tang, Wu-Tang is back.
Yes, they are.
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Chapter 5: How does AI impact content creation?
Chapter 6: What are the implications of Bitcoin and crypto regulations?
Oh, Wu-Tang Clan played Mempho?
Yes, they did a few years ago.
I did not know that. They got together and played? They did. Isn't that pretty rare that they get together and play?
Yes.
How did Jeff convince them to get together?
I can't remember. It's been, you know, I don't know. I think it was six years ago or so.
I don't remember this.
Yeah.
Wow. Okay, well, color me embarrassed. I had no idea that Wu-Tang Clan played Mempho. Yes. Wow.
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