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The Commercial Break

TCB Infomercial: Ari Shaffir

Tue, 11 Feb 2025

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Episode #694: An uneventful Super Bowl  Comedian & podcaster Ari Shaffir is our guest today! Bill Murray & his Blood Brothers concert A yahoo email address… in 2025!!! Ari Shaffir: The Farewell Tour Kanye is a master troll… Just like Ari Beginnings of the podcast industry Comedy & international traveling Ari likes a challenge Berlin is cool and wild! “You Be Trippin” favorite guest Controversial podcast guests The starfish metaphor Special Guest: Ari Shaffir Tickets to Ari's new show: The Farewell Tour Watch "You Be Trippin" Podcast on Youtube Watch “America’s Sweetheart” on Netflix _______________ Watch episode #694 on Youtube Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram:  @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Audio
Transcription

Chapter 1: Why is the Super Bowl considered uneventful?

01:28 - 01:36 Bryan Green

Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.

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01:36 - 01:38 Krissy Hoadley

Best to you, Brian.

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01:38 - 01:51 Bryan Green

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on a Tuesday after the Super Bowl. One of the most uneventful Super Bowls in history. I mean, eventful in the sense that it happened and there were commercials.

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01:52 - 01:52 Krissy Hoadley

It was weird.

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00:00 - 00:00 Bryan Green

And Kendrick Lamar was there. And so was Donald Trump and Taylor Swift. We'll get into all of that tomorrow in detail. But wow, what a blowout.

00:00 - 00:00 Krissy Hoadley

I mean, it was zero.

00:00 - 00:00 Bryan Green

The Philadelphia Eagles. Manhandled Patrick Mahomes. They did. Manhandled Mahomes. Probably the best quarterback certainly of our, you know, in this time period. Shocking. It really was. I don't know the first fucking thing about football and I was shocked.

00:00 - 00:00 Unidentified

Totally shocked.

00:00 - 00:00 Bryan Green

During the second quarter, I was like, well, this is over, I guess. I guess we're just going to all sit here and watch the Eagles. It honestly looked like a high school team playing a flag football team. It was unbelievable how the Eagles tore them apart in every aspect of the game. What do they have, like 100 yards of total offense or something like that?

Chapter 2: Who is Ari Shaffir and what is his Farewell Tour?

29:26 - 29:30 Bryan Green

Hey, man, that guy over there, he's a cokehead. Yeah? Really? I'm going to go.

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29:30 - 29:34 Ari Shaffir

I'll go talk to him. I'll go talk to him. Get out of here.

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29:34 - 29:38 Bryan Green

I'll talk to him. I'll be back in two to three hours. We're going to go to the bathroom together.

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29:39 - 30:08 Bryan Green

you didn't know what cocaine was and you're like why is everyone's bladder so small everyone just keeps getting up I've been to those parties yeah before you knew what it was only parties I went to for a long time right yeah I was a manager at a bar and you would it was just clear as day if you knew what to look for and I did because it takes one to know one right if you knew what to look for you would know and then of course you always had the local dealer you know the guy that sits

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00:00 - 00:00 Bryan Green

They sit at the bar. They sit at the bar and you just kind of keep them in check a little bit. You're like, hey, don't be so obvious about it, you know, because it's good for business. Yeah, be less obvious about your cocaine. We talked to Steve O. It was like a couple, I don't know, a year, year and a half ago.

00:00 - 00:00 Bryan Green

And Steve was telling us that when he was getting high, he had a night with Mike Tyson where they did two eight balls of cocaine. They sat in a Las Vegas bar.

00:00 - 00:00 Bryan Green

bathroom for four hours eight balls of cocaine him and mike tyson he told this story and for like five minutes i didn't say a word my jaw was on the floor i was like think about being in a room coked up with a certified killer a small room and i know mike see you know he seems now like a very self-reflective smart you know empathetic human being but there was a time this is hope mike

00:00 - 00:00 Ari Shaffir

This is not Mushroom Mike. Mushroom Mike is nice. Broke Mike is a problem.

00:00 - 00:00 Bryan Green

Tell me what your favorite place to visit is. Like all the places you've been, what is your favorite?

Chapter 3: What to expect from Bill Murray's Blood Brothers concert?

45:35 - 45:49 Bryan Green

Yeah. Well, we didn't talk about politics for four, five years almost. Then we said the word and then the election came and we felt that it was just like too big of a story to ignore. We had to say something, but we didn't bash anybody. We just said, you know, Trump's

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45:50 - 46:17 Bryan Green

president and even though he wasn't our choice uh we wish we hope that everything goes well and you would not believe that within a heartbeat we had reviews of people we're not i'm never listening to you again you bash trump and it's like i didn't bash trump that's not what i did i just said that he wasn't my choice but yeah so everyone's this round up like it's it's crazy i don't think you can change it you want to change it you can't change i think you just gotta focus on yourself and just be like you know the starfish thing no what's that those two guys walking on the beach and um

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46:18 - 46:40 Ari Shaffir

Let's make it a guy and girl so we can be inclusive today. It's a guy and a girl walking on the beach. And there's like a thousand starfish washed up from the high tide. They're all going to die, you know, because they're not in the water. Yeah. And it was like, this is weird. And so then one guy picks up one of the starfish and he like throws it back in the water.

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46:41 - 47:06 Ari Shaffir

um and then they kind of walk inside and the girl's like what's that gonna do that's like it's not gonna make a dent and all these starfish yeah die and he goes what's gonna matter for that one starfish yeah that's true yeah you're right yeah so it's like you just gotta focus on yourself when everyone's doing that just go okay how can i reach across an aisle how can i just focus on something positive i i mean it's like it's kind of easy it's a five days on vacation one day rained

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00:00 - 00:00 Ari Shaffir

All right, I learned a new card game where we're stuck inside. That's fun. All of Modest Mouse music is this. It's just focusing on the positive part. And then your mental state is pretty nice. Instead of going, look at that Trump flag on that house, go, wow, look at that deck they built on that house.

00:00 - 00:00 Krissy Hoadley

Yeah.

00:00 - 00:00 Ari Shaffir

That's cool.

00:00 - 00:00 Krissy Hoadley

Focus on something different.

00:00 - 00:00 Ari Shaffir

Uh-oh. Ari's getting to me.

Chapter 4: Is Yahoo making a comeback in 2025?

63:31 - 63:34 Krissy Hoadley

Like if he's going on a big travel expedition. Exactly.

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63:34 - 63:49 Bryan Green

I wish him... Good for him. That sounds fun. When I saw that he was taking a break, when I listened to his podcast, and then I kind of put two and two together... Which is called You Be Trippin'. You Be Trippin', yeah. When I saw that he was taking a break, the first thing that I thought was, oh, I hope there's no health issues or anything like that.

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63:50 - 64:04 Bryan Green

I hope he's not taking off because there's something that he needs to go do health-wise. But by all indications, he's just going to... Do it. Soak it all up. Enjoy life. And he's right. He's right about this. You should do that before you get to the villages, not after you get to the villages.

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64:05 - 64:20 Bryan Green

Because there are so many times that I'm traveling and with older people or I see older people and they're not having the time of it that they could have had had they done this 30 years earlier. That's not no knock on them. It's just like... He's right. I don't want to be that person.

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00:00 - 00:00 Bryan Green

I would rather do it now, have the memories, and then do what I can when I get older than wish that I had done all of that and trying to do it as I get older. Ari Schaefer, very funny. All the information in the show notes as it always is. Thank you very much for coming in, Ari. We certainly do appreciate it. Yeah. AriShafer.com, America's sweetheart. Tickets on sale now and you be tripping.

00:00 - 00:00 Ari Shaffir

62.

00:00 - 00:00 Krissy Hoadley

I was in the bathroom and the woman was talking about her cataract.

00:00 - 00:00 Unidentified

Yeah. I was like, oh.

00:00 - 00:00 Krissy Hoadley

Things have changed. Times have changed.

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