Episode #716: Bryan & Krissy discuss the process of marketing a movie for an Academy Award. Does it include lavish gifts, trips and cash? It just might! Then Bryan reads some his saved Nextdoor posts as the world goes crazy. Finally, Ask TCB is on deck and only 3 years late. You heard it hear last. TCBit: DOGI is turning off the traffic lights and pulling the stop signs. But one the officials has a message to the ladies! Watch EP #716 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the latest controversy in Crabapple?
And welcome back to WSHIT's Evening News. It's news you can use before you snooze. I'm Karen Doubletree with today's headlines. Controversy today in Crabapple. As the newly unelected head of DOGI, the Department of Gross Incompetence, sent officials to the Department of Transportation to cut the power to all the traffic signals and remove all stop signs from the Crabapple Main Street.
Director Xanadu Susk told WSHIT in a statement, These moves were made in an effort to cripple the town's traffic and make parking lots more accessible for his helicopter. One of the officials charged with the responsibility of turning off all the traffic lights and removing the stop signs, calling himself Reaper the Sleeper, was targeted with negative feedback and comments on his Instagram page.
In a press conference earlier this afternoon, he had this to say...
good morning everybody hello this is reaper and i am back with another announcement all right all you all you females all you women if you are coming to my page go yourself because i am not leaving my video games for no i'm sorry video games are my priority women are nothing but total disgrace to this society i'm sorry but you girls are not of interest to me
I don't know how many times I can say that without actually going blue in the face, but I'm being factual. So please, find another man to bother. Please go fuck yourself. Video games for life.
Pieper then went on to add that while he understands the anger around the decisions being made, part of his compensation package includes being in a room with a real-life female and the ability to access an AI sex robot whenever he wanted. But he assured Crab Appliance that all of the stop signs are safely tucked away in his mom's basement.
And now with the check of traffic, everything's a mess and the whole town's falling apart. We'll be back after this commercial break.
On this episode of the Commercial Break.
And the special effects don't look like special effects. They don't give it away. The guy rides a big giant worm and you don't know. You're like, oh, where did they get a big giant worm from? Because it's so realistic.
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Chapter 2: How does March Madness affect the office environment?
Yes, we are.
Yes, we are.
I filled out a bracket. Jeff and I just do it for fun.
Yeah, you know, and have you ever won a bracket?
No.
No, either of us. I came really close in, like, 1999, and I got very excited. And then sometime in the last couple of years, I stopped filling out the brackets because I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
No, me neither.
I have no fucking clue.
I tried to actually ask AI, and it was jumbled all up. It couldn't figure it out either.
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Chapter 3: What are the implications of NCAA selection biases?
Yes, Pink Floyd, The Wall, High on Acid, changed my life in so many ways. I still can't watch that movie without seeing Trails. I mean, it's like weird. I tried to watch that a couple of months ago. You did? Yeah, it was on one of the streamers or Pluto TV or something. I tried to watch it and I was like, oh my God, I feel like I'm tripping. I feel like my face is melting.
Oh no, wait, that's just the tanning bed. So I'm reading about Onora and get this. Okay, so- But Onora wins all of these Academy Awards. And the Academy Awards are voted on by the Academy. The Academy is made up of, I think, 1,200 or 1,300 people. It's the Academy.
Yeah. Wabam. Wabam. Give me more money and you win. Wabam.
The Academy is this mysterious group of human beings, actors, actresses, producers, directors, technical people. I don't know how they pick the people. In the biz. Yes, in the biz bullshit. Some in the biz bullshit. And they, I think, have up to a couple weeks ahead of the show to cast their votes. Well, listen, Onora was made like two years ago. It came out a year ago. It didn't change.
Onora is not changing from month number three to two weeks before the Oscars. It's got to be in the calendar year. So we have at least a month to watch this movie. Why do they wait until the very last minute to submit their votes? Well, here is why. And you may have seen this on a website like Variety or Hollywood Reporter. You may have seen For Your Consideration.
Oh, yeah, I've seen that. There's a movie named For Your Consideration, Christopher Guest.
Christopher Guest, that's right. For Your Consideration is someone buying a $10,000 banner ad to target one of the two separate Academy members who will visit that website on any given day. Why is that? Well, because there are big marketing campaigns that the studio heads put on to, first of all, get their movies nominated, and then second of all, once nominated, get them to win an award.
Because winning an Academy Award has a very... what they call Academy bump. And that means even if you're nominated, but certainly if you win, even if you win like best technical blowjob fluffer on set, you're going to see more people watching your movie because that is a notable effect that happens. It's a rise in viewership based on winning an Academy, just nominated.
But then if you win, then you get a big bump.
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Chapter 4: How does movie marketing influence the Academy Awards?
Do they have an intermission? I think they do have an intermission.
Well, you must at three and a half hours long. Dances with Wolves had an intermission in the theaters, if I'm not mistaken. They took like a 10-minute intermission because it's four hours long. So, I mean, how can one person sit for four hours without having to pee or throw up or get more nacho sauce or whatever? Yeah.
Where does it say the link?
Just ask ChattyGPT. Say, how long is The Brutalist?
How long is the movie The Brutalist? Three hours and 35 minutes long.
No fucking shit. I thought it was two and a half hours.
Three and a half.
Oh, my God. No wonder Adrian Brody took so much time. I mean, geez, seven minute, you know, congratulations speech is nothing compared to three out. Almost four hours. That is dance. That is dances with wolves. Let me see here real quick. I just want to see something. Let's open up another page here.
You've got to block out four hours of your day.
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Chapter 5: Why are movies becoming longer in the streaming era?
Blocked channel. Here we go. Urgent. Help. My son visited and blocked Fox News on my TV. I don't trust digital or anything iTunes. Fox is all that should be allowed in my household. How can I unblock Fox?
I love that his son did that.
I told my son that I'm taking him out of the will and he needs to put Fox back on my TV. Please help immediately.
Oh, my God. Did anybody respond?
Well, I didn't put any of the responses unless I thought they were really funny. I don't think actually this had any. I think this is like fresh when I saw it. But I'm sure this is coming from my mom's retirement home. Oh, yeah. I'm sure of it. I found a can of beans. They are Bush's brand, Bush's best to be exact. They were found on this street last night.
If you lost a can of beans, tell me what kind of flavor they are, and you can come pick them up for me.
Just for, you know, security's sake.
Wow. Yeah, just to make sure that you're the actual bean owner. He goes, please show me a receipt, and I'll be happy to give them back to you. I really can't keep them. I have too many beans already. Too many. To which someone said, do you have a picture?
Do you have a picture?
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Chapter 6: What are some bizarre Nextdoor posts Bryan has found?
Two ying-a-lings drinking.
Yeah. Well, that's the name of the last episode. I put a ying-a-ling. Wait. Ying-a-lings, twins, ying-a-lings, Darcy Sings, and two ding-a-lings. Perfect. Something like that. Okay. All right. So you want funny ones or you want more serious ones? You want me to mix them up?
Yeah, you're going to mix them up. Start off funny.
Okay. Here's one. Now, I think this is serious, but I'm not 100% sure. And so you can tell us, Thomas, you can tell us, text me and let me know if this was a serious question. But we got this a long time ago when we reviewed about the lady who thought she was a cat and the guy who was dating her. Oh, yeah.
Remember, the girl was like 20 years old, and he was like 56 years old, and she was like super slinky and sexy, and he had her running around the house like she was a cat. Lapping milk. Yeah, pissing in a litter box and all kind of crazy shit. Hey, guys, I just love the show, but I have a quick question. My girlfriend of two years has recently decided that she, in fact, is a cat.
Now, I think this might be one of those people who like they think they're an animal. Do you know what I'm talking about? This is like hot right now. It's a trend for these kids to believe, truly believe that they are an animal. They can morph into an animal. They can do this. Not for me to say whether or not you're an actual cat, but okay. She's now hissing when she's mad.
She naps in weird places curled up like a ball. And last week she wanted to drink milk straight from a bowl on the floor. I saw you guys do this episode. And believe me, this is true. People do do this. Do I need to call a therapist or do I just lean into it and buy her a scratching post?
Well, first of all, do you like cats?
Yeah. First of all, do you have a litter box? If you have a litter box, it's all good. Don't worry about it. Listen, milk is a lot less expensive than a fancy restaurant. So I'd say I'd say lean into the things that are positive about this.
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