Episode#713: Bryan & Krissy discuss St. Patricks Day and all things Irish. Like Michael Flatly, Lord Of The Dance. This leads Bryan to imagine himself as a stage dancer himself...Lord Of The Acid! Then, the gang try to decipher what is or is not Irish. This somehow leads to Bryan recalling the time he discussed The Celtic people with the drummer from Tool? MAYBE! TCB Bit: Crabapple's #1 Operatic Techno Festival is back! Watch episode #713 on Youtube Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath "TCB Bits" are all written, performed and produced by Bryan Green To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the Polyoligon Ultra Fest?
This weekend only, experience the chills, thrills, and skills of Crabapple's largest operatic techno festival. The Polyoligon Ultra Fest is back and hotter than ever. Seriously, it's going to be 95 degrees, so pack your party wagon, grab your fanny pack, and put on your best sparkle tutu, because this three-day fest has it all.
Oh, yeah.
With headlining sets by DJ Sex Puppet, Nickel Mixa featuring Tottle Pocket, Italy's shortest operatic techno singer Rigatoni, and one very special late night set by saxophone beatmaster Poodle. Poodle.
Plus, exciting performances from Mike McCrone and his fire-breathing dance ponies, Jill the Go-Go Clown Lady, Dirty Dave and his amazing flying Bible beaters, and tantra prostate massages by hand magician Raphael. Three long sweaty days and three never-ending smelly nights glamping with thousands of overly friendly strangers. You'll be hungry and tired by day, frustrated and dirty by night.
Free water from the community hose and two communal showers. You'll be wishing you had booked that expensive hotel. And new for this year's festival, free yoga provided by the misguided youth stretchers. An art market with over 30 artists peddling terrible art they bought on Team U. And plenty of food from random food trucks no inspector has ever had time to inspect.
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Chapter 2: What are St. Patrick's Day traditions?
Your tummy will be begging for more or begging for the door. So go to REI and buy an expensive tent you can't set up, load up on craft beer that'll go bad by Saturday morning, pack your best neon tights, put on your strongest deodorant, and head to Crabapple Fairgrounds where you'll be parking two miles away from your crowded tent site.
Gates open on Thursday night to get the hangover started early. Music starts early Friday morning to wake you up irritated, and the party won't stop until Sunday, because who doesn't love to party on Sunday? The fifth annual Polyoligon Ultra Operatic Techno Festival. Come on, grab apple, drop the beat. Absolutely no glass or outside food will be allowed inside of festival grounds.
Due to previous incidents, no Y-Brien 3000 is allowed inside the gates. All ball gags must be checked at the door. No swimming allowed inside of the drinking water. Please refrain from sleeping in front of the stage. All children must be accompanied by a service animal.
On this episode of The Commercial Break...
The question is, Trey, are you up for it? You've said no once. Say no again.
I'll get Jeff to book it.
If Jeff books me at Mempho to do Lord of the Acid, I am down 100%. Fill my cup up with whatever and just send me out there with a heart monitor. Bootsy Collins and schools from widespread panic.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.
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Chapter 3: Who was St. Patrick and what did he do?
But all part of the UK, though, right?
Yeah, it was all kind of part of the United Kingdom. Parts of Ireland are still part of the United Kingdom, and we all know that from our history lesson from Des Bishop. Hi, Des. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Yes. Des Bishop is our, by the way, our most streamed episode on Spotify. Really? Isn't that amazeballs?
That is interesting.
Can't figure out why, but I'm not arguing. People love Des. People love Des.
We love Des.
We do love Des. And this last episode was very politically charged. We talk about American politics and Irish politics. He's our Irish correspondent. He is our Irish correspondent. Anyway, happy St. Patrick's Day, Des. This is a, it is the holiday of St. Patrick.
Yeah.
But for years... What did he do? He supposedly drove the snakes out of Ireland.
Oh, that's right.
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Chapter 4: Is St. Patrick's Day actually an Irish holiday?
No snakes in Ireland.
No snakes are native to Ireland.
That is a fun fact for me. I did not know that.
That is a fun fact. So a lot of people believe that what he... I guess this is just a way of saying he drove the religious zealots, the Protestants, out of Ireland. But in fact, he did not. There were lots of people who were Protestants to live in Ireland. But some people believe that that's why they say that he drove the snakes out of Ireland.
Snakes being Protestants?
Snakes being Protestants. That's right. And I don't believe that. I'm just telling you what some people believe. The reason why we say he drove the snakes out of Ireland is just another word that's being used for Protestants. Again, that's not my belief. I'm just sharing that with you. I want to make sure that we don't get any Protestants up our ass right now.
Because, you know, I like the Protestants. They're good. Yeah. So it's probably just an allegory for either driving the snakes out or converting pagans or whatever, whatever it was. Anyway, a fun fact about St. Patrick. He was kidnapped by pirates as a teenager. Why has this not been made into a movie? I don't know. But this sounds like perfect fodder for a television show or a movie. Yeah. St.
Patrick, you know, Pirates of the Caribbean, St. Patrick's Version.
Yeah, at least a limited series.
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Chapter 5: What are the myths surrounding St. Patrick?
But Timothee Chalamet, one of the best looking human beings on earth, one of the most famous human beings on earth, that stache ain't doing him any good. It makes him look like Pedro from... But they're fully in dynamite.
It does. I'm sorry. I didn't even think about that.
I love Tim. I love Timothy. I think he's a great actor. But that chat, that stash, that's cheesetastic, man. You got to let that shit go.
I know we were discussing it with, I was discussing with a friend of mine and her son has one and she's like, I hate it.
Oh, God, it's disgusting.
But I was like, you got to go with it. It's the trend.
Well, listen, you don't have to go. Buck the trend, kids. Buck the trend. Go full goatee. Go Abe Lincoln. Go Flavor Saver. Do something. Be Eddie Vedder. Have a little weird Flavor Saver on the bottom.
Beards are still in.
Beards are always being, I think. I think that if you... As long as it's managed correctly. You know, and this is like... I think people think of Irish people and there's, you know, stereotypes just like everything else in the world. They think of guys or girls with red hair, freckles, blue eyes. But that is a genetic trait. That is not an Irish trait.
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Chapter 6: What is the significance of the Riverdance?
Again, we're Irish, so we have an uphill climb here, but we're working on it. We're not so good. We're not so good at some stuff. So, you know, St. Patrick's Day, drove the snakes out, kidnapped as a teenager. And by the way, a dry, traditionally religious holiday until about the 1960s or 70s. Oh, it was a dry holiday? It was a dry holiday.
Okay.
Yeah, because it's a religious holiday. Yeah, that's true. So it's a dry holiday. Yeah, I mean, you think of Easter, you don't think about everyone going out and getting smashed.
He's risen. Crazy bunnies.
That's right. Drunk bunnies.
Drop the eggs.
Drop the eggs. Wait, hold on. Yes. Go Easter, go Easter, go. Go Easter, go Easter, go. We could start it.
We could start it. Listen, I don't put anything past us at this point. We're selling Teslas on the front line of the White House. Why not make Easter a drinking holiday? Why not? I mean, Christmas isn't a drinking holiday either, but plenty of people get smashed. So it was a dry holiday until it was just kind of taken over.
Maybe it was like a marketing thing, like with the green beer.
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Chapter 7: How do modern celebrations of St. Patrick's Day differ?
No, I told you I only went on spring. I mean, as a actual at the age where I was supposed to be spring breaking. Yeah. No. When I got a little bit older, I went down to Miami a couple of times. OK. Daytona Beach once, Panama City. And that was like in my mid 20s. But in the years when I would like spring break years, I only went one time to Panama City. And we ended up getting a hotel. Mm hmm.
15 miles from the beach.
That's right.
And we got kicked out of that party. We got invited to a party that quickly got kicked out. It was a whole shit show. And we ended up doing whippets in a fucking Howard Johnson 20 minutes from anything. It was so weird. It was the weirdest spring. But I was weird. Like, you know, I was a weird kid. That's just the way it was. All right. So we'll talk a little bit more about St.
Patrick's Day in Savannah, some more traditions, and we'll play a game all coming up on this episode, the St. Patrick's Day episode. Of the commercial break. How do you feel about that, Chrissy? I love it. All right, good. I'm just killing time.
I'm trying to find the gold.
Oh, yeah. Chrissy brought a lump of shit.
Brian thinks it looks like a lump of shit. That looks... It really, it looks, it's a rock that has been painted gold, and it looks like the sketch from the famous video.
From the leprechaun video. We all know it. It comes around once a year. Like St. Patrick's Day, that video comes around once a year where all the people are looking at the guy in the tree and thinking he's a leprechaun. It is pretty funny. It is pretty funny. Did we find out that was a sketch? I think we found out that was a sketch.
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Chapter 8: What humorous anecdotes do Bryan and Krissy share about St. Patrick's Day?
Oh, there you go. I feel like I should be dancing around, kicking my heels up.
Irish dancing like you've never seen it before. 55 red-headed women never moving their arms.
I feel like those were on TV, the commercials.
Oh, forever. PBS played that thing nonstop. That was like it took the world by storm.
Oh, it did. And did Riverdance, was that like the competitor?
Riverdance was created by Michael Flatley. Lord of the Dance was Michael Flatley's own. He's the breakout star.
He was.
Yes. And that foot movement, I got to be honest with you, that's pretty amazing. It is. It's crazy. There's a guy from Kentucky. He's like a redneck dude, right? He's like a backwoods country dude.
Yeah.
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