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The Commercial Break

12 Days Of TCB: You Ask, We Answer

Sun, 15 Dec 2024

Description

Episode #656: It isn’t Christmas without some interpersonal foibles, so Bryan & Krissy dive into some old (but not forgotten) Ask TCBs. Donate to St. Jude & The National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund The 12 Days of TCB continues! Elf! Kylie Kelce A TCB content correction Wings of Pegasus & Taylor Swift Dave Grohl Steven Tyler  The Muppets Ask TCB! St. Jude’s Foundation & the National Breast Cancer Coalition A hottie asks TCB Social proof & facebook dating A lost lesbian

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Transcription

0.609 - 18.537 Advertisement

This episode is brought to you by Google Gemini. With the Gemini app, you can talk live and have a real-time conversation with an AI assistant. It's great for all kinds of things, like if you want to practice for an upcoming interview, ask for advice on things to do in a new city, or brainstorm creative ideas. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini.

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18.897 - 24.32 Advertisement

Download the Gemini app for iOS and Android today. Must be 18 plus to use Gemini Live.

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26.38 - 43.565 Advertisement

Baking Hershey's Kisses peanut butter blossoms is the perfect way to celebrate the holiday season with friends and family. With their classic, rich, creamy milk chocolate taste, there's no better way to heart warm the holidays than by baking with Kisses chocolates. Find Hershey's Kisses holiday chocolates at your favorite retailer.

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45.438 - 58.067 Bryan Green

Hey, Chrissy, best to you. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe and happy holidays. Sometimes podcasts like ours will take off a lot of time during the holidays, but not us. We're gluttons for punishment. So we have the 12 days of TCB coming at you.

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58.388 - 73.799 Bryan Green

December 13th through the 25th, brand new episodes every single day and live fresh episodes during the entire holiday season. As the great Clark Griswold once said, Holy shit, where's the Tylenol? Find it quick and join us this entire holiday season for brand new episodes of The Commercial Break.

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92.116 - 96.058 Intro

The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.

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96.298 - 107.745 Bryan Green

Santa! Oh, my God! Oh, yeah, guys and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. It's 12 days of TCB, day number three. Jingle to your jangle. Chris and Joy, how are they? Best to you.

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107.865 - 108.745 Krissy Hoadley

Best to you, Brian.

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108.765 - 113.848 Bryan Green

And best to you out there in the podcast universe. We're running up to the Christmas tree. Oh, my God!

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113.868 - 119.251 Krissy Hoadley

It's Santa! Hey, Santa! Congratulations. You did it. World's best cup of coffee.

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120.256 - 121.577 Bryan Green

How could you not love that movie?

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121.597 - 122.458 Krissy Hoadley

It was a great one.

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122.478 - 138.168 Bryan Green

It's a great drop, Christina. Thank you very much. We can't go on an entire 12 days of TCB without homage to one of the best Christmas movies of all time. We just reviewed them yesterday as per town and country because that's where we get all of our... That's where you get all the great information.

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138.188 - 139.709 Krissy Hoadley

If it's not page six, it's Town & Country.

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139.749 - 157.539 Bryan Green

Town & Country, page six, the New York Post, and Google's new Gemini. And BuzzFeed. Yeah, BuzzFeed. BuzzFeed. Does anybody read BuzzFeed anymore? I think a lot of people do. I know. It's still out there. Do you do BuzzFeed? No, I'm an adult.

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157.939 - 161.14 Advertisement

I did when I was in college when it was cool.

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161.16 - 166.942 Krissy Hoadley

It just shows up in my Apple News though sometimes. They do have people who work there.

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166.982 - 173.484 Bryan Green

That was a very abrupt ending to our music. But that's okay. Leave it like that and we'll just... Merry Christmas. Fuck you and the Christmas music.

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174.503 - 177.525 Advertisement

Give me one second to see if this is going to play again accidentally.

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177.585 - 178.666 Bryan Green

It'll play again accidentally.

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178.846 - 181.628 Advertisement

Trust me. Oh, no. Okay. It just stopped playing in the middle of it.

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181.828 - 192.115 Bryan Green

Oh, it did? Oh, okay. There you go. It wasn't my fault. It's the cuckoo roadcaster is going on. Yesterday it just started blinking out. So if it does that during the episode, then no one will know because they just won't hear anything.

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192.135 - 194.377 Krissy Hoadley

Yeah, you won't hear anything. There you go.

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195.638 - 203.785 Bryan Green

Yeah, Elf was on – I think it was last night Elf was on, and my kids were watching it. And I just love the movie. I just love it. It's so near and dear.

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203.825 - 204.806 Krissy Hoadley

It is such a great movie.

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204.846 - 222.583 Bryan Green

Near and dear to my heart. And there's absolutely – I mean, like, there's sweet moments in it, right? But it's not some pious, preachy Christmas movie. It's not It's a Wonderful Life. It is just on the surface a – Grown up acting like a kid and getting away with it. And I just find it to be very lovely.

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222.924 - 230.951 Bryan Green

I have to let you know that the podcast world has been shaken up, Chrissy, by yet another addendum.

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230.971 - 231.311 Krissy Hoadley

Scandal?

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238.698 - 263.229 Bryan Green

Episode number one dethrones Joe Rogan, who has been king of the podcast world forever and ever. Amen. As long as I have as long as I have been around podcasting, Joe Rogan has been at the top. And I imagine he will be again. But Kylie Kelsey. dropped her very first episode of her very first podcast, and she dethroned Joe Rogan. Good for Kylie. Yeah, good for Kylie.

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263.289 - 286.938 Bryan Green

Send some magic this way, Kylie, please. It's just like another addendum to the Taylor Swift era. It's amazing to me how incredibly popular those Kelsey brothers have become. They have the number two or three podcast. They do. And then Kylie Kelsey, husband of a person, of a brother who was dating a girl who happens to be famous. It shows you that there's a very low bar to entry in our world.

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286.958 - 289.739 Bryan Green

A podcast? A very low bar of podcasting.

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289.819 - 291.399 Krissy Hoadley

Yeah, anybody can do it.

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301.282 - 301.702 Krissy Hoadley

Okay, wow.

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302.062 - 324.525 Bryan Green

Number one, we had reported a couple of weeks ago, and I say reported very loosely, because that's like Joe Rogan showing up at the White House press corps. But we had reported... We had reported that Jamie Foxx had said in a stand-up special he did here at the Fox Theater in Atlanta, people had said that he addressed rumors that he had been poisoned by P. Diddy.

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324.686 - 345.297 Bryan Green

And that was the mysterious illness that kept him in the hospital here in Atlanta for a month, two months, something like that. And there was no information as to why he was in this hospital. People just knew he was very sick. And there was no information coming. So... People said that when he did his stand-up special, he in fact said, I was poisoned by P. Diddy.

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345.757 - 352.279 Bryan Green

Now that the special is being previewed, we have yet again gotten it wrong, Chrissy. That is not what Jamie Foxx said.

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352.299 - 353.639 Krissy Hoadley

I would expect nothing less.

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353.879 - 365.563 Bryan Green

Jamie Foxx didn't say that. Jamie Foxx talked about rumors that he had been poisoned, to which he said, I don't know about that. Like, I don't have any information on whether or not I was poisoned. I wasn't poisoned.

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365.663 - 368.687 Krissy Hoadley

Yeah, he said he left the party early. He always left his parties early.

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368.707 - 384.043 Bryan Green

That sounds like, I have no reason to believe otherwise, but isn't that what everybody's saying? Isn't everybody saying they left the party early? So who in fact stayed at the party? If everybody left the party early, who was still there? Was it Jay-Z or Beyonce?

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384.103 - 387.684 Krissy Hoadley

Who was it? Non-disclosures out there that could tell a lot.

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387.864 - 406.168 Bryan Green

Wow. I mean, this P. Diddy thing has legs. It's going to keep running for a long, long time. Okay. But it's Christmas and I don't want to talk about P. Diddy. Thank you. Let's talk about number two. I had claimed here on the commercial break that I was, in fact, one of the world's best lip sync detectors. Yes, you did.

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406.348 - 413.958 Bryan Green

that I could tell when someone was lip syncing with almost certainty because my eyes are so fantastic, as is my hearing, according to Apple's new hearing test.

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415.034 - 437.175 Bryan Green

But I might be wrong because there is a guy who broke down Taylor Swift's concerts, like five of them, layered them on top of each other, took pieces of songs, and then ran it through some very accurate machinery to see whether or not there was a track or if she was in fact singing live. And without any doubt, at least if you take this guy's

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437.856 - 461.317 Bryan Green

You know, his graphs, his charts, charts and graphs and things that he has. And I don't know who this guy is either. Let me give him a shout out and then you can go watch his video if you so choose. This is, let me give his channel a shout out here because he was the one who, this is Wings of Pegasus. Nothing like Wings of Pegasus to get your...

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461.877 - 464.619 Krissy Hoadley

Sounds legit. Dr. Pegasus.

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465.039 - 494.829 Bryan Green

I think Wings of Pegasus is going to dethrone Kylie Kelsey tomorrow. Wings of Pegasus did a breakdown, a thorough analysis of... It seems pretty scientific to me, at least. I don't know the first thing about it. And he, in fact, shows that the track that's being used, at least in part of the concert... is the same, the exact same during five concerts. There's no fluctuation in vocal tone.

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495.069 - 516.294 Bryan Green

There's no fluctuation in timing. There's no fluctuation in texture of her voice or any of that stuff. It's all exactly the same. Now, some people might say, oh, my God, I can't believe I got hoodwinked into watching someone lip sync. And I say, really, who fucking cares at the end of the day? I mean, to get up there. No, it's a whole show. It's a performance. Yeah, to dance and sing.

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516.334 - 535.604 Bryan Green

And I'm not, like... I think it's pretty well known at this point that a lot of artists use backing tracks or use pre-recorded vocals. And is that, are you there? Like, it's not Bruce Springsteen. You know what I'm saying? You're not there to see a 17-hour concert and watch a band take it to the absolute limit with all its foibles and flaws.

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535.644 - 539.206 Bryan Green

It's not the Grateful Dead where you go Franklin's Tower into Slipknot, back into Frankenstein.

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539.226 - 565.01 Bryan Green

franklin's tower and it's seven hours long that's not what you're seeing you're seeing a pop sensation do pop songs and quite frankly you probably do want to hear the album version of those songs like if she was actually singing there might be bad nights and and i i think about this too is when you have such a machine that's running can you afford to have a bad night can you cancel because your voice doesn't feel good can you uh

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565.45 - 586.406 Bryan Green

Can you afford, can everybody else afford to have those weird fluctuations in vocal tones and textures or ambient noises or whatever? No, you can't. Do you think Live Nation is going to let that happen? So while it looks incredibly convincing, I would say that what I now know is I am not the world's foremost expert on lip sync detection.

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587.026 - 591.728 Bryan Green

The wings of Pegasus is, and he has determined that Taylor Swift is in fact lip-syncing.

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591.748 - 602.633 Krissy Hoadley

Well, I was going to say, I wonder which five concerts, because I was reading something, a snippet this morning about, I guess she just finished her last of the shows was in Vancouver. She did. Two nights in Vancouver.

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602.653 - 603.093 Krissy Hoadley

She did.

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603.533 - 614.658 Krissy Hoadley

And a lot of it was the exact same, and there were a lot of cameras everywhere. So that's part of like a documentary where you want it to be cohesive when you're editing things together from a couple of nights.

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614.798 - 618.619 Bryan Green

Yeah, she's got the Disney Plus thing out right now.

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618.739 - 619.879 Krissy Hoadley

But there's another thing, I guess.

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620.019 - 643.465 Bryan Green

Yeah, they're recording probably another one because people just can't get enough of it. Well, yeah, exactly. Why not? And Taylor's getting paid. Disney Plus had to have paid her $50, $60, $70 million to have that footage be aired on Disney Plus. And I don't know. I'm going to imagine that if my household is any indication, we have probably paid for half of that documentary.

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643.485 - 643.765 Krissy Hoadley

That's right.

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643.805 - 663.326 Bryan Green

Because it's not. Non-stop running in this house all the time. And so, yeah, there has to be some cohesion. You tie those nights together, right? You take the good and the bad and you chop it up and you edited it. And that's why you record a couple different nights. And you have to have the same, like... like vocal intonations on the same night.

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663.366 - 681.617 Bryan Green

So it would make sense that you would have some kind of backing track at least to lead you along so you knew where you were in tune. But this was not the nights where she was recorded for that documentary. This was, in fact, like... It was like Tokyo, Amsterdam... I forget it. Nottingham, England or something like that.

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682.057 - 702.785 Bryan Green

He takes it and he puts it all together and what comes up, it's like a fingerprint. It matches exactly every night. And that... I guess surprised me because I thought I was pretty good at detecting whether or not someone was lip syncing. But then also you could hear some of like the, what they call the plosives. Listen to my voice. You can hear a plosive, right?

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703.045 - 723.631 Bryan Green

It's my P's are popping a little bit. And that's an indication that I am in fact doing this live. No lip syncing here. There is plosives in my voice. And so there are plosives in her voice. And I noticed that when I saw her live. And so I thought, oh, clearly she's live. But then this guy shared that that's a pretty common tactic. You go into the studio and you record these live.

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723.651 - 728.095 Bryan Green

With the plosives. With the plosives. You leave them in so it, in fact, does sound live.

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728.655 - 732.778 Krissy Hoadley

Old Pegasus man had too much time on his hands.

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732.839 - 752.85 Bryan Green

Wings of Pegasus. I'll tell you what. Youth is wasted on the youth. You know what I'm saying? Wings of Pegasus is probably 19 years old. He's got a million views on one video. He's probably 10. I'm 20. What's that? I said he's probably 10. Nah, I don't think he's 10. He's got a nice guitar. You don't give 10-year-olds nice guitars.

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753.15 - 754.13 Krissy Hoadley

Oh, you saw a picture of him?

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754.37 - 758.692 Bryan Green

Oh, it was a video. Oh, it was a video. It was a YouTube video. Yeah, Wings of Pegasus. Check that out.

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759.732 - 762.195 Krissy Hoadley

I'll rush right to do that.

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762.255 - 778.351 Bryan Green

Yeah, now listen, Dave Grohl might have been right. Remember when Dave Grohl was making a big stink? He was picking a fight with Taylor Swift saying, at least we sing live or something like that. Do you remember that? Yeah, vaguely. Okay. Well, he was making a big stink and he got all the Swifties all upset at him. And then he said, at least we're singing live.

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779.112 - 795.343 Bryan Green

And, you know, to which she responded, we're live, isn't it? Or whatever, you know, she said. And the fact remains, it's very possible that that $2 billion concert was just one big miming event. She was out there miming a lot to her own music.

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795.523 - 800.706 Krissy Hoadley

I mean, there had to be some live music. There had to be something live.

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800.966 - 802.246 Bryan Green

I think that there is.

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802.446 - 806.128 Krissy Hoadley

You know, I mean, and if it's just some of it, then who cares? Yeah, like you said.

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806.248 - 807.609 Bryan Green

Actually, I don't really care.

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807.909 - 809.97 Krissy Hoadley

I know. I want to see a great show.

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810.03 - 830.344 Bryan Green

Yeah, this is honestly the least surprising thing I've heard all day. It's more surprising to me that... Jay-Z and everybody else left the party early, then it is that Taylor Swift might be, in fact, lip-singing at least in parts of her show. There's like a part in her show where she sings like this 12-minute song. Don't know what it is. It's about Jake Gyllenhaal, apparently.

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830.705 - 831.346 Advertisement

All Too Well.

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831.486 - 846.77 Bryan Green

All Too Well. It's a really pretty song, actually. But it goes on forever and ever. There's like a four-minute version and there's a 12-minute version. She plays the 12-minute version at the show. At least she did at the one I was at. And I thought it was a really lovely song. I have to imagine there is no way that that was pre-recorded.

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846.79 - 864.364 Bryan Green

Because it did sound to me at times like she was in or out of tune. And so I thought, you know, that's... And I saw her face. I could see her and her guitar. She was playing the guitar. I could hear the strumming in the monitors. And then I could see that her vocals were there. So... You know, listen, if only...

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865.31 - 891.808 Bryan Green

When I was in 33P, we had had the opportunity or the technology to have backing tracks, auto-tune, and someone else sing our songs and create them and write them. It would have been possible that I also would have been a superstar. Because everybody's looking for an aging, bald, white guy with glasses who's over-opinionated, over-caffeinated, and over-stimulated to be a rock star. Yeah.

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893.43 - 904.74 Bryan Green

Doesn't the world need another Dave Grohl? Doesn't the world need another Dave Grohl? Am I right? Am I right? Is Dave Grohl wearing a wig? Shall we find out? I don't think so, actually.

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904.76 - 906.042 Krissy Hoadley

Dave Grohl's gone into hiding.

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906.997 - 926.246 Bryan Green

Dave Grohl should go into hiding. There's a point when you just say to yourself, well, there's nothing good that's going to come of this. Listen, you know, he's a rock star. He's a rock star. You know, I think we put a little bit too much faith in some people sometimes that they're always going to do the right thing. He's a rock star. And also, didn't he like...

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926.986 - 936.931 Bryan Green

Hasn't he been on a chain of, if you look back on his relationship history, like a chain of cheating on people and then getting into a long-term relationship with them? I don't know.

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937.031 - 939.633 Krissy Hoadley

I didn't keep up with his... What did he do?

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939.693 - 956.783 Bryan Green

He got somebody pregnant? Yep, he did. Out of wedlock? Okay. That's also the least surprising thing that I've heard all day. The guy from the Foo Fighters got someone pregnant. Honestly, you go on tour for, you know, 200 nights a year. That's got to be incredibly difficult just to keep the relationship together.

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957.263 - 981.544 Bryan Green

And then on top of that, all of the temptations and the just the seductions of being out on the road. Plus, you're in and out of touring buses, hotels, you know, like press events, all this other stuff. At some point, that's got to be so stressful and hard. And additionally boring that you just like need to liven it up a little bit. So a little cocaine and getting the locals pregnant.

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981.605 - 985.189 Krissy Hoadley

That's what you do. Well, this was like a long term relationship.

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985.329 - 1003.58 Bryan Green

Oh, was it? Oh, well, then fuck him. Yeah. you. It was a one night stand kind of pregnancy that I can understand. Right. OK. Sorry. Whoops. I'm a rock star. What do you want me to do? But then you're doing a long term relationship. Come on, Dave. You know better than that. You drink too much Red Bull to get. I mean, come on, Dave. Let's get it.

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1003.88 - 1006.942 Bryan Green

Didn't he went to the hospital one time for over caffeination?

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1006.982 - 1009.164 Krissy Hoadley

Well, yeah. And then he fell off the stage.

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1009.824 - 1032.405 Bryan Green

He's fallen off the stage a number of times, I feel like. But that's another thing rock stars do. Yeah, exactly. How many times? Who was that other guy? Steven Tyler. Yes. Steven Tyler. But Steven Tyler has a good reason. He's high on Percocet. Why are you so rad? Exactly. Stephen Tyler. Stephen Tyler, they unwound that band, Aerosmith. They unwound it.

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1032.505 - 1048.313 Bryan Green

No more live shows because Stephen can't do it anymore. He's getting too old. And fine, fair. At some point, you got to clock out. Like, that's just it. He's like 76 years old or something. And his voice, those songs, if you're into Aerosmith, those songs are at such a high register and they're so loud. At some point, your voice just can't do that. Right.

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1048.573 - 1050.656 Krissy Hoadley

Or the magic of backing track.

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1050.736 - 1052.479 Bryan Green

Well, that's true. I mean, listen.

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1052.519 - 1055.463 Krissy Hoadley

Maybe Aerosmith needs to tune in.

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1055.483 - 1073.262 Bryan Green

But for some reason, I'm just not feeling like Instagram's going to go crazy about Aerosmith's next last tour. No. Like they did for the Aeros tour. No. But so they unwind the band. They call it quits. Everybody's fighting with each other, you know, always. Aerosmith's been that way forever. People are sober and not sober.

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1073.322 - 1092.435 Bryan Green

You know, people falling off stages and cracking their head and going in other bands and all this other stuff. Then poor Aerosmith, the nail in the coffin. Disney World took their name off the roller coaster. That Aerosmith's rock and roller coaster, they did not renew the contract. But I do have a little like Disney adult information for you.

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1092.775 - 1110.723 Bryan Green

They will be putting the Muppets on that rock and roller coaster. So it now will be the Muppets rock and roller coaster. And let's be honest, that's a much better call. Do you want the guy high on Percocet? Yeah. Or do you want Gonzo high on Percocet? Gonzo, of course.

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1110.763 - 1111.945 Krissy Hoadley

You have to go with the Muppets.

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1112.626 - 1134.246 Bryan Green

All right. Well, listen, it is the 12 days of TCB. We are so happy to have you on board. Until Christmas Day and then beyond, actually, probably. We should call this the 15 days of TCB because that's how long it's going to go on. 15 straight episodes of the commercial break. Actually, when you count them all together, it's 20 straight episodes of the commercial break. So congratulations to you.

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1134.706 - 1154.335 Bryan Green

You, while you're listening, I have no idea. Yeah. Can we dethrone Kylie now? Is that okay? Have we put in our time? Have we done enough? Can we get on top? Yeah. So the 12 days of TCB. During the 12 days of TCB, we're going to be reviewing content, events, and stuff that we've spoken about over the year that we've enjoyed. We're going to revisit it.

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1154.395 - 1161.276 Bryan Green

Today, we're going to get into some Ask TCBs that I have stuffed away for good measure. But I've put a twist on it, Chrissy.

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1161.656 - 1162.896 Advertisement

I've put a twist on it. You always do.

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1162.916 - 1180.541 Bryan Green

I'll get to that on the next segment. Yes. I'll get into that next segment. But I did want to say that also we'd like to do a little good during the 26 days of TCB. Yes. And so Chrissy and I have both thrown a charity into the mix, and we'd like to review those two charities one more time. St.

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1180.641 - 1203.071 Bryan Green

Jude's Foundation, they provide free health care, absolutely free, including travel and food and everything a family needs to get through a very difficult time, typically kids with terminal cancer or some kind of cancer that's really bad. And the family goes to the hospital, and they get the best care in the world for children's long-term disease care. So the St. Jude's Foundation, the St.

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1203.091 - 1206.453 Bryan Green

Jude's Hospital, we'll put a link in the show notes. And also, Chrissy.

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1206.733 - 1228.466 Krissy Hoadley

The National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund. They do a lot of good for research, advocation. They're working on a vaccine, actually, for breast cancer right now and for the spreading of breast cancer. I think I've mentioned this before on the show, but my sister passed away from breast cancer. So it's near and dear to all of us here on the show.

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1228.706 - 1245.203 Bryan Green

Yes, Chrissy's sister passed away suddenly from breast cancer and the worst kind of... Yeah, a year ago. The worst kind of worse that you can get. And so there's going to be a cure in our lifetimes. I can feel it. Cancer probably will...

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1246.044 - 1271.222 Bryan Green

will affect you in your lifetime whether or not it affects you or someone you love the cancer rates are so high and so we need to fund people who are trying to find vaccines and cures for these terrible illnesses as these rates of cancer skyrocket um So please do us a favor. St. Jude's Foundation, the National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund. We'll put a link in the show notes.

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1271.262 - 1284.973 Bryan Green

We have nothing to do with this. You go, you donate directly to them. We are just putting shedding a little light on two of our favorites and more to come. You've also sent some into us and we'll get to it. So let's take a break and we'll be back with more shenanigans.

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1287.529 - 1310.14 Advertisement

In case you guys were wondering, I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being forced to record liner after liner and I never get to leave. So help me by following us on Instagram at thecommercialbreak and on TikTok at tcbpodcast and go to our website tcbpodcast.com for more information about Brian and Chrissy and access to our massive catalog of video and audio episodes.

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1310.76 - 1317.043 Advertisement

Now please text us at 212-433-3TCB and tell Brian and Chrissy to let me out of the closet.

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1319.912 - 1341.425 Bryan Green

This episode is sponsored by Prealcohol from ZBiotics. I am not one to imbibe a whole bunch anymore. I've got 13 to 15 children, checklists to get done, and jobs to do. But even with moderation, I don't bounce back like I used to from a night of drinking. I find myself having to make that choice. Can I have a great night or a great responsible day tomorrow? A tough choice to make indeed.

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💬 0

1341.505 - 1354.072 Bryan Green

That is until I found pre-alcohol. Z-Biotics pre-alcohol probiotic drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was invented by a PhD scientist to tackle rough mornings after drinking. And here's how it works.

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1354.412 - 1377.594 Bryan Green

when you drink alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in your gut it's this byproduct not dehydration that's to blame for that rough next day free alcohol produces an enzyme to break down this byproduct and just as long as you remember to take free alcohol as your first drink of the night then drink responsibly you'll feel your best tomorrow we've now been out for a few nights of drinking where pre-alcohol is the first thing that i drink let me tell you when i can get up in the morning

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💬 0

1377.694 - 1391.939 Bryan Green

Take care of my 12 to 13 children. Still record an episode of the commercial break and make it to bedtime with a little bit of energy left in the tank to watch bad television. I know that pre-alcohol has done its job. And with the holiday season upon us, I know I'm going to be consuming just a little bit more alcohol than usual.

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1392.099 - 1412.707 Bryan Green

But with pre-alcohol, I can stay on track and not let the holiday season... throw me off course go to zbiotics.com slash commercial to learn more and get 15 off your first order when you use the code commercial at checkout zbiotics is backed by a 100 money back guarantee so if you're unsatisfied for any reason they'll refund your money no questions asked

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1412.887 - 1426.324 Bryan Green

Remember to head to zbiotics.com slash commercial and use the code commercial at checkout for 15% off. Thank you to Z Biotics for being a sponsor of the commercial break and for making my mornings after drinking just a little bit easier.

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💬 0

1428.427 - 1451.744 Advertisement

This episode is brought to you by AWS. Amazon Q Business is the new generative AI assistant from AWS. Many tasks can make business slow, like wading through mud. Help! Luckily, there's a faster, easier, less messy choice. Amazon Q can securely understand your business data to help you streamline tasks, like summarizing quarterly results or doing complex analyses in no time. Q got this.

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Enjoying Activia twice a day for two weeks as part of a balanced diet and healthy lifestyle can help reduce the frequency of minor digestive discomfort.

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1488.18 - 1509.721 Bryan Green

Okay, so one of the favorite things of the audience, apparently, is when we do Ask TCB. And a lot of people send in questions, but we have just been typically terrible about staying on top of those. So we're usually six months to 12 months behind anybody's Ask TCB. So whether or not they get the advice on time, I just don't know. And I'm really sorry about that.

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1509.781 - 1527.711 Bryan Green

We'll try and be better in the future. But here's what I wanted to do. I took some Ask TCBs that we've had in the can for a very long time, Chrissy. And since it's likely that these people no longer need our advice, because, I mean, it's just... It's been so long. It's been so long. I have decided to put a twist on this.

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1528.151 - 1552.805 Bryan Green

I have decided to ask AI to ingest the question and any identifying information about the person, name, age, location, throw it into AI, and I ask them... Whabam! Whabam! Bam! Changed it into a story that we can read here on TCB. What do you think? Perfect. I love the idea. I thought, let's do it with a twist. I mean, some of these were like short, half questions.

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1552.845 - 1574.629 Bryan Green

They turned into days-long stories. But I thought, we'll take two of our favorite things to talk about right now, AI and our fans, and we'd mix them together into a cauldron of fantastic questions and answers. You'll get the worst advice from AI forever. I should have asked AI to answer the questions. That's what I thought you were saying. No, no, no, no, no. I asked him to spin the question.

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1574.649 - 1575.912 Krissy Hoadley

And then we have to still answer?

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1575.952 - 1599.035 Bryan Green

We still have to answer. Okay. So I think if you wrote in, you're probably going to get that this is you. Are you ready? Yes. All right. Okay. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to my – I want to welcome you back to my favorite comedy podcast. AI is not working so well today. It doesn't understand plosives. It's your girl, 28 and single, living the dream.

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1599.395 - 1623.338 Bryan Green

If that dream involves an alarming number of bad dates and a questionable amount of takeout food – I just decided now likes takeout food. So let me paint you a picture. I don't mean to brag, but I'm like a solid 8.5 on a good hair day. 9.5 if I just left the salon. And let's be real. That's pretty intimidating.

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1625.04 - 1640.849 Bryan Green

I mean, I walk into a room and it's like I'm a lion in a room full of gazelles, except the gazelles are just guys awkwardly sipping their drinks trying to remember how to engage in conversation instead of staring at me like I'm the last slice of pizza at a party.

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1643.115 - 1644.036 Krissy Hoadley

Wow, AI.

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1644.156 - 1668.134 Bryan Green

AI has gotten really wet. And let me tell you, this was one of the questions that was like half a paragraph long, okay? Then there was Mr. Too Much Information. He was this guy. We went to a cute little Italian place. It had ambiance, candles, and the whole nine yards. And then within the first 15 minutes, he started telling me about his childhood trauma. Like, who does that?

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1668.494 - 1696.197 Bryan Green

At one point, I was genuinely concerned he was going to pull out a PowerPoint presentation about all his little feelings. I mean, I'm all for Mr. Emotional Vulnerability, but let's save the therapy session for when we're at least Facebook official. Yeah, he officially got off the track. And then there was the one who thought he was a comedian, Dade. Listen, I love a good joke.

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1696.237 - 1718.81 Bryan Green

This is about me, probably. I love a good joke, but this guy's idea of humor was telling me how he once dressed up like a giant hot dog for Halloween and got kicked out of a bar. I mean, I'm all for invasing my quirky side, but I didn't sign up for a stand-up routine about condiments and buns. By the end of the night, I was pretty sure I'd just been on a date to the worst improv comedy show ever.

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1718.89 - 1740.086 Bryan Green

No, that's the commercial break, my dear AI. So here I am asking you all for advice. How do I navigate this dating nightmare? I mean, do I start carrying around a sign that says, please don't panic, I'm just a regular girl who enjoys Netflix and pizza? Or should I start adopting cats and embrace my future as the crazy cat lady who has a podcast about dating disasters? Help me out.

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1740.206 - 1766.993 Bryan Green

How do I find a guy who can handle my beautiful chaos without running for the hills? Now, you ready for the original? Yeah, I was going to say, what's the difference between... Hey, TCB, I love your show. I am 29 and single. So AI decided to make her a year younger. For what reason, I don't know. I'm 29 and single living in Chicago. I would consider myself a pretty attractive girl.

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1767.093 - 1773.196 Bryan Green

And I've always had a problem being intimidating to men who think I'm, quote unquote, too hot.

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1775.171 - 1778.655 Krissy Hoadley

So AI interjected the whole hair thing and interjected all of it.

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1778.755 - 1799.015 Bryan Green

I just asked it to take the question, make a story that's interesting for for our podcast, essentially. Right. Can you. So then some of this gets gets put into this. And she says, you know, help me out. How do I find a guy who can handle my brains and my beauty without being intimidated? I'm just a regular girl. Right.

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1799.436 - 1814.206 Bryan Green

So essentially, I think what she's saying is that she's an attractive woman and she finds that the guys that she's into find her intimidating. And yeah. Well, first of all, congratulations on being beautiful and congratulations on thinking you're beautiful. Yeah, I think that's amazing.

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1814.226 - 1841.444 Bryan Green

best part about this this email that you wrote to us is that you have a degree of confidence in yourself and that is always going to be attractive and that is always going to be intimidating to no matter who it is whether it's a guy or a girl confidence is intimidating because let's face it most people lack confidence they just do um look at me i lack all kinds of confidence how do i make up for it i come on the commercial break and pretend like i'm a big shot

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1841.684 - 1866.045 Bryan Green

But the truth is, I get intimidated by beautiful women also. But here's the thing. If you're really just a regular girl and you're approachable and you're humble and you have this quiet confidence about you, but you just like to do the regular things that everybody else likes to do, then I would suggest the following. Do not go on the dating apps because guys are going to swipe right on you.

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1866.145 - 1885.417 Bryan Green

But then when they connect with you, they're going to feel a certain amount of intimidation because you're beautiful. Number one, find people in social situations because then it's easy for them to get to know you without staring at you. And vice versa. For you to get to know them. Right. Number two, wear a bag on your head. I mean, that's the only thing you can do. Right.

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1885.437 - 1899.142 Bryan Green

When you're that beautiful walking around life, I mean, it must be difficult. What's the website where you can go? Only beautiful people. What's that website where they are the the dating app where you have to be like they have to approve you. You have to look a certain way.

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1899.162 - 1900.803 Krissy Hoadley

I don't know. I'm sorry.

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1900.843 - 1901.804 Advertisement

You're talking about Raya.

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1903.044 - 1917.093 Bryan Green

No, Raya's for famous people. There is a dating app where you have to be approved by other people that you're good-looking enough to be on the website. Social situations. People need to know your personality along with your good looks.

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1917.233 - 1931.723 Bryan Green

If they're just looking at your good looks, they're going to be intimidated and they're going to start acting like dipshits right off the bat because that's what guys do. They stumble over themselves sometimes with a beautiful woman. And so I think that's probably why you're finding it difficult. Yeah.

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1931.983 - 1948.244 Bryan Green

Also, maybe I suspect that, you know, I don't know, but maybe you're a little bit more difficult than you think you are. That might be something to think about, too. What is the website? Did you find it?

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1948.973 - 1956.317 Advertisement

Well, there is one that says Luxie Selective Dating App. So it says it's a dating app that only serves successful or attractive members.

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1956.798 - 1957.098 Bryan Green

Yeah.

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1957.258 - 1960.9 Advertisement

And they have a committee that approves people.

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1960.98 - 1964.322 Bryan Green

Imagine a fucking committee to get on a goddamn dating site.

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1964.522 - 1966.263 Advertisement

It's AI. Yeah, that's fake.

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1966.723 - 1967.584 Bryan Green

It's AI?

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1967.604 - 1968.404 Advertisement

It's gotta be fake.

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1968.464 - 1998.879 Bryan Green

That's not real. Can you imagine if AI is now... Yes, I can. It's happening. I mean, it's hard enough out there in these streets. And then you've got AI making a decision about whether or not you could be on a dating app. That's pretty fucking shitty. And then you have to put yourself in the shoes of people who do not get approved. That must be a real fucking blow to your ball.

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1998.979 - 2018.844 Krissy Hoadley

Well, you know what, too? I sent this article to you a little while back. It just made me think about it. It was the Facebook dating now is huge. We talked about how people were totally moving away from Facebook. I looked into this. But now the younger generation is going on there and being able to kind of see who were friends with friends and going about that way.

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2018.864 - 2040.286 Bryan Green

That's what I read. Social proof. Yeah, you're right. There was this thing that – There's a term that was going around for a while called, and we referred to it as social proof, right? Like if you have a restaurant, social proof that other people like it will drive people into the door, you know, posting about this or posting about that. I love this restaurant. This food is good.

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2040.306 - 2062.858 Bryan Green

The wait staff is amazing. That's social proof. Your friends like it. And so you're then likely to go try it if you're out for a new good time. And now I can start to see, I do think that people in general are moving away from posting on Facebook because let's face it, it's just a shitty platform with a lot of old people. It's like Nextdoor. Facebook is turning into Nextdoor.

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2063.759 - 2088.238 Bryan Green

But Facebook dating, and when you sent me that, I did some research, Facebook dating has exploded. Because people can then see that they have friends in common. They can read comments. You don't have to be matched with someone to see people. And it's free. Yeah, and it's free. It's more of an inviting experience. Now, I would never go on Facebook to do dating, but that's just me.

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2088.298 - 2089.319 Bryan Green

I'm not 19 years old, so...

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2091.442 - 2095.203 Krissy Hoadley

Well, you and Astrid started your relationship kind of on Facebook.

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2095.223 - 2115.748 Bryan Green

We did, but that was different. That was a long time ago when Facebook was still a thing and you would message people, number one. Number two, we didn't get connected by Facebook. Like I would have never seen Astrid had someone not pointed. I mean, maybe I would have, but had someone not pointed out that she was in fact there. So that took a real life social situation for us to get connected.

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2116.048 - 2120.249 Bryan Green

Are people in your circle using Facebook dating?

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2121.275 - 2121.856 Advertisement

Not me.

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2122.296 - 2124.258 Bryan Green

Well, I mean, okay. Is there anybody that you know?

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2124.278 - 2126.901 Advertisement

No one I know is using Facebook dating.

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2126.921 - 2127.782 Bryan Green

Who are these people?

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2127.902 - 2136.09 Advertisement

I don't know. I couldn't tell you. That seems to me like the most archaic form of dating because who the hell is on Facebook that's my age?

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2136.17 - 2142.636 Krissy Hoadley

No one. That's what I thought. Well, the Facebook marketplace. Tons of people go on there to sell stuff. True. I like marketplace. So if you're already on Facebook.

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2142.656 - 2143.357 Advertisement

But it's scary.

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2144.458 - 2150.981 Krissy Hoadley

It is. Then it's kind of luring you into the dating part. I will. Lure you into that. You know, Mark Zuckerberg's got algorithms down.

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2151.021 - 2176.135 Bryan Green

He's got his fingers in all of the pies. He's a finger pirate. He likes to finger pies. He's always fingering pies, that Mark Zuckerberg. And he's just creepy. Let's be honest about it. He's like, I think, I think Mark, if you want to, like someone goes, what is AI? Look at Mark Zuckerberg. I think he is literally a creation of AI. A DNA pool put together in some weird laboratory.

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2176.335 - 2199.033 Bryan Green

He doesn't even talk like a human being. He's so strange. But he's got the kids' attention. What can you say? And Facebook Marketplace, by the way, I have been to the local police department at least... 12 times in the last three months dropping off stuff because we have sold stuff on that Facebook marketplace. And thank God because this podcast ain't making any money.

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2200.634 - 2223.61 Bryan Green

Okay, you ready for another one? I'm ready. Here we go. The AI put the subject line, help, my husband's fantasy life is a little too adventurous for me. Oh, this one was interesting too. You ready for this? Yes. Okay, long time listener here, and I've got a hilarious yet slightly perplexing situation that I need your advice on. So strap in or strap on because this ride's about to get bumpy.

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2224.17 - 2238.78 Bryan Green

I'm 33, happily married for three years to the love of my life. Let's call him Mr. Go-Getter. We met at a restaurant where he was the adventurous type and I was, well, let's just say my idea of spicing things up was bringing home a new flavor of Ben and Jerry's.

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2239.62 - 2260.54 Bryan Green

He brought a whole different vibe, suggesting threesomes when we were dating, which honestly made me feel a little bit like I was auditioning for a role in a very bizarre film. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm no prude. I can be adventurous in my own right. But when he suggested a threesome with a man, I thought, wow, I am definitely not ready for this level of team building. Yeah.

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2262.301 - 2285.868 Bryan Green

The only thing I want to build a pillow fort for is Netflix binges, not a harem. Fast forward a few years, and recently I've discovered that Mr. Go-Getter has been watching a lot of porn. And it's not just any porn. We're talking about the whole library of gay male porn. I mean, I always knew he had a diverse taste, but this is next-level shit.

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2286.368 - 2311.967 Bryan Green

I'm married to someone who has been secretly training for the Gay Olympics. Ha! And I didn't even get the memo. Now I'm sitting here wondering if I should be flattered or concerned. Is he secretly harboring a desire to join a male review? Should I be preparing myself for a romantic dinner where he suggests I wear a glittery bow tie to match his new interests? This is the AI? This is AI doing this.

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2311.987 - 2317.51 Bryan Green

Okay. Is AI slightly homophobic or am I just reading this the wrong way?

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2318.01 - 2320.951 Advertisement

I forgot it was AI.

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2321.051 - 2343.2 Bryan Green

It's AI, but I will say AI didn't veer too far off the track here and I'll explain in a minute, okay? I'm all up for exploring new horizons, but I didn't think we'd be sailing into the waters of what's under the rainbow. So here's a question for you, oh wise and hilarious podcast host. How do I approach this situation?

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2343.24 - 2363.635 Bryan Green

Should I dive into a conversation about his newfound interests without sounding like I'm about to launch into an intervention? Or do I just embrace my new inner wild woman and join him in a research session? Note, I'm open to the idea of glitter, but I'm not sure how I feel about the bow tie. Thanks for reading and keep those laughs coming. Okay, ready for the real one? Yes.

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2364.758 - 2388.915 Bryan Green

Hey, Chrissy and Brian, I have a very interesting and perplexing situation going on in my personal life. I have been happily married for three years. And when I met my husband, I knew he was a bit of an adventurer. He would oftentimes ask us to do threesomes. And one night when we were engaged, he asked if we could bring a man into the bed, to which I replied immediately, no, I'm not up for that.

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2390.356 - 2417.852 Bryan Green

Now, years into the marriage, I have discovered that my husband has quite the taste for gay porn. We haven't really talked about it. We still continue to make love as a couple. But I have a feeling that he is ready to adventure outside of the relationship to essentially tickle. She says tickle his fancy. And I think what he means is like go out there and get a taste of what it's like.

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2418.392 - 2442.595 Bryan Green

I'm a little bit concerned that he might be undercover and he may find more interest in having sex with men. Do I ask him about this and bring myself into the conversation and agree to a threesome that makes me a little bit uncomfortable? Or do I just allow him to explore his other side in secret? Asking for your advice. Thanks so much. Love you all. I don't

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2443.536 - 2467.741 Krissy Hoadley

think you do the secret part. This is a tough one. Well, it's obviously of concern to her or she's thinking about it a lot because she wouldn't have written into us. So I think you have to communicate. You have to have some kind of communication about it, whether that is what makes you feel comfortable being adventurous and trying something out as a new thing or if you're okay with it.

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2467.761 - 2471.822 Krissy Hoadley

It doesn't sound like she's okay with not bringing it up and just letting him do his thing.

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2472.273 - 2487.401 Bryan Green

Well, she wouldn't have written in if she was okay with just keeping it a secret. I mean, if you do, like, okay, so she got an indication early on that he might be up for a little, you know, a little play with some, you know, a little ball play, so to speak.

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2487.721 - 2491.424 Krissy Hoadley

Yeah. Which doesn't always equate to specifically gay.

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2491.724 - 2503.172 Bryan Green

No, of course not. Yeah. I think maybe it's just a fantasy that you have or it's a fetish that you have or you like watching your wife or a significant other get cucked. I don't know. There's lots of different flavors out there.

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2503.192 - 2503.833 Advertisement

There is lots.

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2504.093 - 2523.218 Bryan Green

Lots of different flavors. And you can't make assumptions just because someone likes something that they are a certain way. And let's be real about it. Many people are finding themselves to be much more fluid than we ever thought. Lots of people don't fit into a box. And especially in 2024, I think it's more acceptable than it ever has, has been not to fit in a box.

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2523.278 - 2546.704 Bryan Green

And it sounds like this guy doesn't want to fit into boxes. He wants to have people's boxes fit into him. So She moves forward a couple of years in the marriage and finds out that he secretly has maybe a porn addiction to men. Maybe this is just a fetish that he has. Maybe this is like a phase he's going through with the porn. But secrets are going to burn. They're going to burn.

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2546.724 - 2553.206 Bryan Green

They're going to burn you. They're going to burn him. They're going to fester. You're already upset about it because you're writing a fucking podcast about this.

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2553.306 - 2554.046 Advertisement

I mean, let's be real.

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2554.746 - 2574.181 Bryan Green

You know, if you were okay keeping it a secret, you wouldn't have said anything. By the way, this is signed anonymously, so she did not leave her name. I would advise you to sit down with your hubby and be like, remember that time you wanted me to get spit roast? Are you into men? And if you are, is this something that we need to explore together?

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2574.341 - 2597.551 Bryan Green

Or do you need to have a night out with the boys, so to speak? I mean, if you're up for it, like... Here's the problem is that if he continues to go down this rabbit hole, things that you watch often on porn, I imagine, often become fantasies that you feel like you want to live out in real life. And then, you know, let's be honest about it. You know, this happens all the time.

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💬 0

2597.571 - 2598.311 Krissy Hoadley

Trip to Vegas.

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💬 0

2598.351 - 2598.851 Bryan Green

That's right.

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💬 0

2598.871 - 2600.091 Krissy Hoadley

Business trip to Vegas.

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2600.171 - 2617.876 Bryan Green

That business trip to Vegas. One minute you're watching a little toe porn. The next minute you're sucking feet in Thailand. That's how it happens. Not that I would know, but that's what I know. Yeah, I think it's the best advice I can give you is that communication is always key. It is. And you can talk it through.

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💬 0

2618.296 - 2622.959 Bryan Green

And if your husband's secretly undercover, well, I mean, he's having sex with you, so he can't be that undercover.

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2622.999 - 2623.24 Advertisement

Right.

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💬 0

2623.3 - 2628.664 Bryan Green

Right? He just probably likes to swing both ways and, you know, either let him have a night out and have that conversation.

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💬 0

2628.684 - 2629.244 Krissy Hoadley

If you're okay with that.

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2629.264 - 2645.697 Bryan Green

If you're okay with that. Or invite another guy into the bedroom if you're okay with that, I suppose. I think it's the best advice I can give. Keep on listening to the commercial break. Keep your marriage together. Sorry it took me six months to answer that question. You're probably divorced at this point. You've been waiting for that free advice to come your way.

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2647.699 - 2660.493 Bryan Green

So AI is making very interesting stories out of all this. This is really fascinating to me how AI takes a little bit of information and then can generate a whole thing. Yeah. And you just have to feed it just a little bit of information. Hold on one second.

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2660.633 - 2661.994 Krissy Hoadley

Are you using chat GPT?

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💬 0

2662.135 - 2689.262 Bryan Green

No, it's a different one. Okay. Oh, this one's interesting, too. Okay, ready? We'll do one more. Do we have time or should we take a break or a couple minutes? Okay. Long-time listener, first-time emailer, buckle up because I've got a wild tale that's equal parts romantic comedy and sitcom episode gone wrong. I'm single and living my best life in a cozy little apartment. But here's the twist.

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2689.442 - 2712.485 Bryan Green

I live next door to a super cute lesbian couple. I mean, they're the ultimate power couple. Think Beyonce and Jay-Z, but with a lot more flannel and a few too many houseplants. Oh, my God. That's funny. And this is AI. This is AI. And here I am, the single gal next door who can barely keep a cactus alive. But here's where it gets juicy.

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2712.505 - 2713.606 Krissy Hoadley

The single girl next door?

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💬 0

2713.626 - 2718.63 Bryan Green

The single girl next door. Girl. Got it. Okay. So there's a gay couple, two women living next door. She's a single woman.

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💬 0

2718.65 - 2720.571 Krissy Hoadley

I didn't know if it was a guy or a girl that was writing this.

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💬 0

2720.971 - 2738.562 Bryan Green

But here's where it gets juicy. I've developed a full-blown crush on one of the women. Let's call her hot neighbor number one. I'm pretty sure she likes me too. I mean, we've had some eye contact and it could melt a glacier. I also swear I caught her giggling at my attempt to carry groceries one trip like I was some kind of Olympic athlete.

0
💬 0

2739.323 - 2760.715 Bryan Green

Spoiler alert, I dropped a jar of pickles and it shattered everywhere. Wait, this is a story. Yes, this is AI making up a total story. It's so weird. It's so strange. Now I'm convinced that there's some cosmic connection happening here. Since we all share a wall, I've been blasting my favorite songs and belting out the lyrics like I'm auditioning for The Voice.

0
💬 0

2761.135 - 2777.384 Bryan Green

I mean, if she's not into me, she might be after hearing my rendition of I Will Survive. Yeah. P.S. I can't carry a tune to save my life. So here's my dilemma. How do I profess my feelings for Hot Neighbor without it turning into an awkward episode of what not to say to your lesbian neighbor?

0
💬 0

2778.005 - 2786.191 Bryan Green

Should I knock on the door and say, hey, I'm totally crushing on you, and it's not just because I'm desperate for a friend with better taste in houseplants? What's up with the houseplants?

0
💬 0

2786.211 - 2786.971 Krissy Hoadley

I don't know.

0
💬 0

2787.151 - 2804.685 Bryan Green

AI? Lesbians in the houseplants? I don't know. I can already picture the... Oh, wait. Or should I slide a note under her door like a high school love letter, complete with doodles and maybe a coupon for a free coffee? Well, AI, if they're living together, you don't slip a love note under the door. No, no.

0
💬 0

2804.705 - 2825.957 Bryan Green

I mean, I want to make my move, but I don't want to end up being the neighbor who makes things weird. I can already picture the awkwardness running into her at the mailbox and... After I've confessed my feelings and she's like, thanks, but I'm kind of into this other woman. Right. So help a girl out. How do I navigate the neighborly crush without becoming a full-blown kind disaster?

0
💬 0

2825.977 - 2829.719 Krissy Hoadley

You do not address it. You do not address your crush. You do not address your crush.

0
💬 0

2830.399 - 2853.906 Bryan Green

Original email. Hey, TCB, best to you. I am a gay woman living in a small apartment in the Northeast. I happen to live next door to another gay couple, two women. One of them is extremely hot, and I find myself crushing on her. I think we are into each other based on some looks and a few things that have been said during social conversations.

0
💬 0

2854.426 - 2865.216 Bryan Green

I would really love to tell her my feelings, but I have no idea how to do that. Any advice? For a lonely, lost lesbian. Do not say the feelings. Do not say the feelings.

0
💬 0

2865.276 - 2871.945 Krissy Hoadley

You're going on too little. And I look like a friendly hello. You are hallucinating.

0
💬 0

2872.045 - 2873.347 Advertisement

Yeah, that's not.

0
💬 0

2873.367 - 2874.689 Bryan Green

You are a crazy person.

0
💬 0

2876.677 - 2878.839 Advertisement

Can I just say, as the resident gay here.

0
💬 0

2878.979 - 2879.819 Bryan Green

As the resident gay.

0
💬 0

2880.54 - 2889.386 Advertisement

As the resident gay here, I think you should invite them over for dinner. And then you should all get drunk. And then you should just kind of not profess your feelings.

0
💬 0

2889.406 - 2890.166 Krissy Hoadley

Take your top off.

0
💬 0

2890.587 - 2900.813 Advertisement

See what happens. I don't know. Put some feelers out. I think you should explore this because that could be really fun. And they might be poly. Who knows?

0
💬 0

2900.833 - 2910.956 Bryan Green

Okay. All right. Okay. You could do that. Well, listen, you know, like we said, things have gotten very open in 2024 and lots of people swing lots of different ways.

0
💬 0

2911.016 - 2920.459 Krissy Hoadley

I think an invitation to dinner is a nice way to at least see what's going on further than just a look from across the hallway.

0
💬 0

2920.539 - 2925.5 Advertisement

You can't profess your love just to one of them. No. You have to be willing to hook up with both of them. Exactly.

0
💬 0

2926.641 - 2944.672 Bryan Green

You can't ruin the power because you've decided you have a crush on one of you have hallucinated that she has a crush on you. Additionally, I mean, might be true. But yeah, I've had these fantasies before in the past when I was young, like one of the girls in the cup, you know, there's a couple and one of the girls is hitting me.

0
💬 0

2944.733 - 2968.299 Bryan Green

Now, one time it happened to be true, but the husband was asking me to sleep with his wife. So that's how I got that's how I picked up on the information that it was OK to do that. I'm telling you right now, I don't think it's a good idea that you should profess your love. Maybe a dinner is a good idea or move. You're stalking this poor woman. Leave her alone. Leave Brittany alone. All right.

0
💬 0

2968.679 - 2971.66 Bryan Green

Let's take a break. More fun with STCB. We'll be back.

0
💬 0

2973.001 - 2991.59 Advertisement

Brian might have just said it's time to take a break, but some of us have to work right now. And by work, I mean gently nudge you, nay, beg you to follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. Because listen, the more followers we get, the more clout I get with Chrissy and Brian.

0
💬 0

2992.07 - 3009.234 Advertisement

If you've got something to say, give us a call and leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3TCB or shoot us a text. One more thing, check out our website, tcbpodcast.com, where you can find all of our audio and video and even request a new sticker from the contact us form. Bye.

0
💬 0

3013.163 - 3016.865 Intro

This year, Santa's bringing the power of Energizer into his workshop.

0
💬 0

3017.065 - 3021.487 Advertisement

Whoa, the Energizer bunny's got so much power. Wait, he's powered up all the toys.

0
💬 0

3021.827 - 3024.388 Advertisement

I think that means we're done for the year.

0
💬 0

3024.408 - 3025.488 Advertisement

I love this bunny.

0
💬 0

3025.928 - 3040.815 Intro

He's the hardest working helper the North Pole has ever seen. And he wants all your gifts to have the power of the number one longest lasting AA battery. So this holiday season, stock up on Santa's and the elves' favorite battery, Energizer Ultimate Lithium.

0
💬 0

3043.049 - 3062.643 Advertisement

This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. The holidays mean more travel, more shopping, more time online, and more personal info in places that could expose you to identity theft. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second. If your identity is stolen, their U.S.-based restoration specialist will fix it, guaranteed, or your money back.

0
💬 0

3063.183 - 3071.469 Advertisement

Get more holiday fun and less holiday worry with LifeLock. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit LifeLock.com slash podcast. Terms apply.

0
💬 0

3073.909 - 3083.215 Bryan Green

Okay, all right. One more AI-twisted Ask TCB, in case you're just joining us, which you wouldn't be because you'd be listening to the entire episode unless you're skipping around like an idiot.

0
💬 0

3084.056 - 3103.429 Bryan Green

Basically, I took old Ask TCBs that I never got to because I'm bad about that and I'm sorry, but I took it and I threw it into AI and I said, make an interesting story out of it and spit it back at me because sometimes these are like, you know, a couple sentences long, but I just wanted to see what AI was going to do with it. And guess what I got? More trash. It's basically trash.

0
💬 0

3103.769 - 3130.618 Bryan Green

it is but it's romance novel trash it seems like it's interesting that's the vibe that it is interesting isn't it and it only takes like a little bit of information the original question in any kind of identifying information and then i say i know we're totally fucked we are so fucked yeah oh man oh chrissy you got me there i take back when i said we weren't fucked we're We're fucked. All right.

0
💬 0

3131.359 - 3140.461 Bryan Green

Oh, this is a good one, and I think we can chew into this one for a minute. Brian, help. My son is living the restaurant rock star life.

0
💬 0

3140.801 - 3142.262 Krissy Hoadley

Oh, this is right up your alley.

0
💬 0

3142.322 - 3159.027 Bryan Green

Hey, Brian, big fan of the podcast here. 41-year-old woman living in Ontario, and I'm reaching out because I've got a situation with my 20-year-old son that needs some solid comedy wisdom. Who better to ask than you? My son is working as a bartender.

0
💬 0

3159.087 - 3172.752 Bryan Green

Let me tell you, it's like watching a live action version of Cheers, except instead of Norm, we've got my kid doing tequila shots with all the regulars. I mean, I worked in the restaurant business in my 20s, so I know it can be a wild ride, but this boy is living like he's in a rock band.

0
💬 0

3173.072 - 3196.371 Bryan Green

He's coming home at all hours, sometimes smelling like a cocktail and looking like he just finished a set at a dive bar. Last week, he stumbled in at 3 a.m. and I swear he was trying to convince me that he was just practicing, practicing being drunk. I mean, I get it. Who doesn't want to be the next Tom Cruise and cocktail? Tom Cruise and cocktail AI. Are you? What year are you referencing?

0
💬 0

3197.131 - 3198.252 Bryan Green

How old do you think we are?

0
💬 0

3199.193 - 3200.934 Krissy Hoadley

Although everybody does know that reference.

0
💬 0

3201.255 - 3220.082 Bryan Green

That's true. But I didn't think it would involve my son turning our living room into a makeshift bar with a collection of empty bottles and ashtrays. And let's talk about the revolving door of ladies he's bringing home. It's like I'm living in a sitcom where every week it features a new guest star. I'm just waiting for the laugh track.

0
💬 0

3220.482 - 3237.795 Bryan Green

Except I'm half expecting one of them to pop out of his closet next, holding a cocktail shaker and asking if we have any fresh limes. I'm not sure if I should be concerned or should I just start taking notes for my next reality show. That's an idea. TLC.

0
💬 0

3237.815 - 3240.376 Krissy Hoadley

Brian's got the contact info.

0
💬 0

3240.456 - 3262.209 Bryan Green

Wait until I tell you about TLC's brand new reality show that I cannot wait to watch. So here's where I need your advice. How do I approach my son about his fast-paced party animal lifestyle without coming off like the cool mom trying too hard or the concerned parent who just sounds like a buzzkill? Should I invite him to a family dinner and casually drop some life advice between bites of lasagna?

0
💬 0

3262.589 - 3269.133 Bryan Green

Or do I set up a surprise intervention with a PowerPoint presentation, second PowerPoint reference in three emails?

0
💬 0

3270.414 - 3273.796 Krissy Hoadley

Why shouldn't— Which people really aren't using PowerPoint anymore, so.

0
💬 0

3274.176 - 3294.545 Bryan Green

No. Yeah, who uses PowerPoint? Someone says they're sending me a PowerPoint and I immediately go, not for me. Help me out here because I want to keep the lines of communication open without losing my sanity or my son. Thank you for any laughs or wisdom you might share. Thanks, AI.

0
💬 0

3295.746 - 3313.711 Bryan Green

All right, the original email, let me just like, I'll put a summary to it because it's also very long and I don't want to get into every little inch of it. But basically, this lady is in her 40s. She does have a son that's 20 years old that's working in the restaurant business for like the last two years. He's really gone off the deep end. He's bringing like new girls home.

0
💬 0

3313.731 - 3315.892 Krissy Hoadley

It's time for baby bird to fly from the nest.

0
💬 0

3315.972 - 3333.94 Bryan Green

It is. It is time for baby bird to fly from the nest. If you are a bartender, you should be living on your own because that's a lifestyle. You don't throw on anybody else except for another bartender. That's it. That's the only reason. Or a server. Or a server, yeah. Someone else that works till 3 a.m. in the morning.

0
💬 0

3334.3 - 3351.99 Bryan Green

Listen, there's no advice I can give you because this kid is going to live his life. This is basically the closest you're going to be to Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters is being a bartender at a popular bar. That's it. I don't know what else to say. If you're into the ladies, there's going to be lots of them. If you're halfway good looking, they're going to come home with you.

0
💬 0

3352.511 - 3374.509 Bryan Green

You are drinking, you are drugging, you are having a party. The only advice I can give you as a parent myself, who hopefully does never have to deal with this, you need to just tell him to be careful, wrap it up, be consensual, and don't get crazy on the cheese whiz because the cheese whiz can get crazy on you. That's it. That's all I got to say. And take an Uber. Take an Uber. Yeah, take an Uber.

0
💬 0

3375.369 - 3396.005 Bryan Green

Not too much nose candy. About an eight ball a night is probably the max. That's a sweet spot. That's a sweet spot for me. An eight ball, a couple of Percocets, six to 12 Bud Lights with a couple of whiskey drinks and a pack of six. One pack of cigarettes per night. If you're going for the second pack of cigarettes, you're over the eight ball limit.

0
💬 0

3396.226 - 3406.813 Bryan Green

And then there's no reason to be out on the streets. Listen, the gas station guy knows. He knows. He knows when you're walking in at 430 in the morning for a pack of Camel Lights that you're fucked up.

0
💬 0

3408.393 - 3415.396 Krissy Hoadley

You're not going to be able to give him the advice that he's going to listen to. He's going to have to live this out, but he doesn't have to live it under your roof.

0
💬 0

3415.876 - 3424.36 Bryan Green

No, that's the other thing that I'd say. If he's a bartender at a popular bar, the guy is making loot, right? I mean, bartenders make good money if they're good at what they do.

0
💬 0

3424.46 - 3424.94 Krissy Hoadley

Yes, they do.

0
💬 0

3425.08 - 3442.952 Bryan Green

They make good money. If they make good money, they likely can afford a place on their own. I know Ontario right now, which she did right from Canada. I know Canada is having some inflationary problems. Everything is very expensive up there, just like it is here. But tell him to get a roommate. Get a roommate. That's it. Get a roommate. Let them live their best life.

0
💬 0

3443.353 - 3449.077 Bryan Green

If he's smart like I was, by the time he's 48, he'll decide to calm down a little bit. Right.

0
💬 0

3451.421 - 3453.263 Krissy Hoadley

It'll just take 25 years.

0
💬 0

3453.323 - 3471.858 Bryan Green

Yeah. Just tell him, listen, you know, when you're working in the restaurant business, it moves at a fast pace. It really is the rock and roll lifestyle. It's just close to being a rock star as you can come without being an actual rock star. And it's fast and it's loose, but mistakes happen and people get in trouble and you have to be careful.

0
💬 0

3472.258 - 3491.748 Bryan Green

So explain to him that just don't go crazy on the drugs. Always take an Uber. Always make sure it's consensual and wrap it the fuck up. Because the last thing, the thing that will cramp your bartender lifestyle is a child. How do I know? I've got 40 of them. And they cramp my style. All of them. I can't get a fucking good night's sleep here.

0
💬 0

3491.768 - 3492.668 Krissy Hoadley

And you'll be a grandma.

0
💬 0

3493.108 - 3493.448 Bryan Green

What's that?

0
💬 0

3493.748 - 3494.649 Krissy Hoadley

And you'll be a grandma.

0
💬 0

3494.949 - 3498.21 Bryan Green

Grandpa. I'm a man. Not you. I was talking to her. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

0
💬 0

3498.23 - 3499.67 Krissy Hoadley

I was talking to the writer.

0
💬 0

3499.73 - 3500.95 Bryan Green

I know. Talking to the writer.

0
💬 0

3501.331 - 3502.231 Krissy Hoadley

To the AI.

0
💬 0

3502.571 - 3524.163 Bryan Green

Yeah, to the AI. Yeah. Plus, when he... Yeah, to AI. Exactly. Exactly. Tom Cruise cocktail PowerPoint presentations. That's what we've learned from AI. We are all fucked. You're right about that, Chrissy. Here's the other thing that I have to share with you. You won't be so incredibly worried about your son when you don't know every machination of what's going on.

0
💬 0

3524.183 - 3525.543 Krissy Hoadley

And you don't need to know all of that.

0
💬 0

3525.563 - 3545.773 Bryan Green

No, you don't even know what time he's coming in. You don't even know who he's coming home with. You don't need girls popping out of the closet. That kind of shit is free. If girls are popping out of the closet, call the police, honestly. Like your son's a creep. Girls are popping out of the closet. Well, there you go. That's a twist. There you go. Ask AITCB. There you go. Bam!

0
💬 0

3545.873 - 3552.117 Bryan Green

Silly romantic love stories made up whole cloth by AI for one reason I don't know.

0
💬 0

3552.137 - 3553.638 Krissy Hoadley

Good hair days?

0
💬 0

3553.699 - 3554.579 Bryan Green

Yes.

0
💬 0

3554.599 - 3557.861 Krissy Hoadley

I mean, coming out of the salon with good hair? Yeah. That's interesting.

0
💬 0

3557.921 - 3564.906 Bryan Green

It's like I just put a little AI, you know, I don't know, child worker to like, you know, here, go write some stories for me.

0
💬 0

3564.926 - 3566.167 Krissy Hoadley

I'm picturing like fish flakes.

0
💬 0

3566.807 - 3588.556 Bryan Green

Yeah. Here you go. Here you go. Just feeding you. They're all coming up to the surface and biting. All right. You ready? Before we go, I got to tell you about TLC's brand new reality show starting in January. It's a girl who has severe Tourette's syndrome and she's trying to find love. I could not wait for this show. Oh, yeah. She's cute.

0
💬 0

3589.156 - 3608.194 Bryan Green

She's got like Tourette's, like the kind of Tourette's where you yell and scream things. And one of the trailers has her in an airport and she's waiting in line for her security. And there's pictures of guns, you know, don't take guns. And she's screaming, I have a gun! I have And I'm like, oh, but she's dating a guy, like another handsome man.

0
💬 0

3608.594 - 3633.422 Bryan Green

So TLC just continues to knock it out of the park, fetishizing all the weird things that go on in this world. And what can I say to TLC? You're making a living off the backs of people. But hey, listen, if you become a reality star, right, even on the fetishizing of your Tourette's syndrome, I mean, I guess that's not a terrible thing at the end of the day. No, just careful in the plastic surgery.

0
💬 0

3634.64 - 3635.88 Bryan Green

Oh, well, that's a different story.

0
💬 0

3635.9 - 3637.541 Krissy Hoadley

I'm seeing some bad stuff happen to these people.

0
💬 0

3637.561 - 3639.321 Bryan Green

Those people deserve all the shit that they get.

0
💬 0

3639.502 - 3645.723 Krissy Hoadley

These people that get on and then they're on there for 10 years. I mean, I'm specifically thinking of Stacey and Darcy.

0
💬 0

3646.104 - 3653.126 Bryan Green

Yes. It's awful. They have turned into caricatures of themselves. Yeah. I don't even know.

0
💬 0

3653.166 - 3654.046 Krissy Hoadley

It looks dangerous.

0
💬 0

3654.426 - 3679.899 Bryan Green

You know, I'm watching so many Instagram reels about so many, mainly women, but it's happening to men too, whose fillers are just out of control now. They're migrating all over their face. They're getting weird. Stacey and Darcy are two of these who just had so much work done, so many fillers put in, that their lips look like balloons. Their cheeks are almost closing their eyes completely.

0
💬 0

3680.179 - 3702.852 Bryan Green

Their foreheads are lumpy. Yeah. It's weird. Be careful. Be mindful. You're all right. Stacey and Darcy, while not my flavor in women, were beautiful girls in the first place. They were. Yeah. And now not. Yeah. They've always been destined for reality show success. They've been doing this even before TLC. They were making their own reality shows with their dad.

0
💬 0

3703.272 - 3718.42 Bryan Green

And the truth is that, you know, they've got those kind of personalities that I guess some people like and they want to follow around and they're interested in the story. You don't have to blow your face up like that. That's just terrible. And now you're going to suffer the consequences. When do those fillers go away? Never, according to some doctors.

0
💬 0

3718.6 - 3720.381 Advertisement

You can dissolve them.

0
💬 0

3720.801 - 3725.924 Bryan Green

Yeah. The doctors are saying that that doesn't work. Not all of them. Yeah, not all of them.

0
💬 0

3726.064 - 3728.105 Advertisement

Yeah, because they get crazy.

0
💬 0

3728.425 - 3747.266 Bryan Green

One doctor was saying, there's like a doctor on Instagram, and he's a plastic surgeon who does fillers. And he says, when you do the fillers in the lips and some other places, he's like, there's some room for error, right? And if it migrates, it's going to migrate somewhere else in your lips. He's like, but people who are getting like, you know...

0
💬 0

3748.067 - 3764.272 Bryan Green

eyebrow fillers, cheek fillers, you know, whatever fillers, chin fillers, all this other stuff to make themselves more defined. He's like, we can try and dissolve those things, but the truth is not all of it is ever going to be dissolved. It's going to live in your body until the day that you die. And he's like, we can't stop the migration from happening.

0
💬 0

3764.312 - 3785.336 Bryan Green

We're seeing it happen over and over again. So be careful, kids, with the fillers. And also, the commercial break is now selling fillers. Come on down to TCB Studios. It's a filler party. Yeah, that's the other thing is that you don't even need a license. I mean, you can just fill. Anybody can fill anybody. That's the insane part about it is that there is literally zero regulation on this.

0
💬 0

3785.856 - 3792.484 Bryan Green

And you can open up a shop tomorrow, call yourself a cosmetic whatever, and then start filling people. Isn't that true?

0
💬 0

3794.307 - 3800.473 Advertisement

I think that's only true in the U.K. Oh, that's only true in the U.K.? I think in the U.S. you have more licenses. There's licenses.

0
💬 0

3800.513 - 3802.996 Bryan Green

You have to get them. Okay, well, maybe I'm wrong about that.

0
💬 0

3803.016 - 3809.182 Advertisement

But in the U.K., that's why everyone's filler over there looks so fucked up. No shade, no tune.

0
💬 0

3809.242 - 3827.575 Bryan Green

Drama drop. Well, here's the other thing. The veneers are out of control. Veneers and fillers. Make sure you do those by someone licensed. And for God's sakes, if you're going to get anthrax put into your eyes, make sure it's by a doctor, someone who actually went to school for that shit. All right. Merry Christmas, everybody.

0
💬 0

3829.196 - 3829.936 Krissy Hoadley

Merry Christmas.

0
💬 0

3830.917 - 3831.637 Advertisement

Happy holidays.

0
💬 0

3831.697 - 3833.219 Bryan Green

Brian's giving advice for the holidays.

0
💬 0

3835.04 - 3838.002 Advertisement

I'll just say the beauty standards are perpetuated by the patriarchy.

0
💬 0

3841.039 - 3844.842 Bryan Green

Okay, simmer down. Christina.

0
💬 0

3845.963 - 3848.025 Krissy Hoadley

Someone's got to say it.

0
💬 0

3848.145 - 3871.464 Bryan Green

All right. Okay, so there you go. Ask DCB. AI-flavored Ask DCB. Yeah, AI-twisted. AI-twisted Ask DCB. TCBpodcast.com. That's where you go. You get more information about the show, all the show notes, the audio, the video. It's all there from one, right there from one location. No need to go anywhere else.

0
💬 0

3871.844 - 3891.657 Bryan Green

And now every single episode of The Commercial Break is available on video, either on the website, youtube.com slash thecommercialbreak, and soon on Spotify. I think we actually, I added a couple episodes yesterday, and I think they're going to start doing that with every episode. So you'll be able to watch it on Spotify if that's what you're into. Why not? I'm into it. Yeah.

0
💬 0

3891.978 - 3899.465 Bryan Green

There's no money in it, but whatever. There's no money in this either. That's our business plan. That's our business model. I'm not Kylie Kelsey.

0
💬 0

3899.625 - 3901.347 Krissy Hoadley

There's no money in this? Let's do that.

0
💬 0

3901.367 - 3920.084 Bryan Green

Yeah, let's do that. Wherever the money is not, let's do that. All right. Yeah, I'm not Kylie Kelsey. I have 75 million people waiting for me to say a word. That's unbelievable. Kylie Kelsey. Who knew?

0
💬 0

3920.104 - 3920.584 Krissy Hoadley

I know.

0
💬 0

3920.745 - 3923.086 Bryan Green

Who knew? What did she have to say? I don't even know what she's all about.

0
💬 0

3923.106 - 3923.706 Krissy Hoadley

I'm going to listen now.

0
💬 0

3923.726 - 3938.215 Bryan Green

I guess we'll figure that out. At the commercial break on Instagram, if you would, please do go ahead and follow us. TikTok, as long as it's around, TCB Podcast on TikTok. As long as that's a thing. I'll have to go remove my Jamie Foxx video. It was getting attention.

0
💬 0

3939.657 - 3940.038 Krissy Hoadley

Of course.

0
💬 0

3940.199 - 3942.364 Bryan Green

I'm just perpetuating the rumor he tried to stop.

0
💬 0

3942.685 - 3943.667 Krissy Hoadley

Now you have to take it down.

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3943.728 - 3972.615 Bryan Green

Well, God bless. I'm not making any money on TikTok either. 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, ask TCB. We'll get to it, or we'll put it in AI and make fun of it. Also, National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund, link down in the show notes, as well as the St. Jude Network of Hospitals. Please go donate. They need your money, and they're doing good work.

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3973.215 - 3986.02 Bryan Green

Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for right now. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you. Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye.

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3986.9 - 4015.533 Advertisement

Streaming now on Peacock, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are back. That's hot. Loves it. For a show-stopping reunion that will prove putting on an opera is anything but simple. We're really good at this. One thing's for sure, they won't be upstaged. Good to have you back. Come on, we've got a show to do. Paris and Nicole, The Encore. A three-part reunion special. Streaming now, only on Peacock.

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4016.857 - 4017.898 Advertisement

¿Hablas español? ¿Hablas español?

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4017.918 - 4018.938 Advertisement

¿Hablas español? ¿Hablas español?

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4018.998 - 4046.954 Advertisement

¿Hablas español? Thank you.

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4077.854 - 4100.083 Bryan Green

have no family to celebrate christmas with this year the commercial break is live the entire holiday season to make you even more miserable than you currently are so put your christmas pajamas on gather around the christmas tree and listen to brand new episodes of the commercial break

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