Something You Should Know
Why Revenge Is Seldom Worth It & What You Need to Know About Snakes
Mon, 26 May 2025
Is it healthier to be short or tall? Not that you can do much about it – but this episode begins by exploring some interesting health differences between the tall and the short. https://www.bbc.com/news/health-32117018 All of us have had the urge to get revenge on someone for something they did to us. Seeking revenge is a very powerful feeling that many people cannot control. Yet, more often than not, getting revenge is not that satisfying and you often end up regretting it - road rage being the perfect example. James Kimmel, Jr. joins me to help us understand why feelings of revenge are hard to tame and what you can do when you feel revenge to de-escalate the situation. James is a lecturer in psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine, a lawyer, and the founder and co-director of the Yale Collaborative for Motive Control Studies. He is author of a book called The Science of Revenge: Understanding the World's Deadliest Addiction--and How to Overcome It (https://amzn.to/3SPx8v2). Fear of snakes is very common. Lots of people hate them - but the fact is they are fascinating creatures which have adapted to survive everywhere on earth (except one place). There are snakes that lay eggs and snakes who have live births. There are snakes that eat every day and snakes that eat only once a year. And just how dangerous are they? That depends. Listen as I talk with Stephen S. Hall, a science writer whose work has appeared in the New York Times Magazine, The Atlantic Monthly, National Geographic, Wired, Science, and more. He is author of the book Slither: How Nature’s Most Maligned Creatures Illuminate Our World (https://amzn.to/44OPyne). People like to put their best foot forward on social media and often they will brag about a promotion or romance or post a photo of their new car or boat. But how is that actually received by the people who see it? Listen as I reveal what people think about this sort of “humble bragging.” https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/05/150512104037.htm PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS!!! MINT MOBILE: Ditch overpriced wireless and get 3 months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month at https://MintMobile.com/something ! FACTOR: Eat smart with Factor! Get 50% off at https://FactorMeals.com/something50off TIMELINE: Get 10% off your order of Mitopure! Go to https://Timeline.com/SOMETHING ROCKET MONEY: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster! Go to https://RocketMoney.com/SOMETHING QUINCE: Elevate your shopping with Quince! Go to https://Quince.com/sysk for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns! INDEED: Get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at https://Indeed.com/SOMETHING right now! DELL: The power of Dell AI with Intel inside is transforming the world of pro sports! For the players and the fans who are there for every game. See how Dell Technologies with Intel inside can help find your advantage, and power your wins at https://Dell.com/Wins Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Who's more likely to be healthier, tall or short people?
are the result of revenge seeking so we know that from vast public databases and law enforcement agencies now all generally agree and behavioral studies that almost every form of violence is the result of the perpetrator having felt victimized and now trying to make themselves feel better acting out neural circuitry of pleasure and reward seeking to make themselves feel better
And the last component is you have a prefrontal cortex in your brain, which is your executive function and control circuitry. And that's there to stop you from doing things that hurt yourself or other people.
In addiction, that circuitry is generally seen and believed to have been inhibited or hijacked so that you no longer have the clarity of decision making that you might have in a more calmer state.
Okay, so a couple of questions. In your example of the road rage and the escalating response to being cut off, is that the addiction? What's the addiction?
So the addiction is if you go after that driver, you swerve in front of them, you put yourself in harm's way, that driver in harm's way, and the other drivers around you in harm's way. and you couldn't control it. It wasn't a rational thought, it was compulsive. Compulsive revenge seeking is the addiction, and we see that throughout society. We see it in intimate partner relationships,
husband, wife, or otherwise, spouses, in which there's a continuation of seeking to retaliate over and over again, despite the serious damage it's doing to their relationship, to their family, to their kids.
So what's the difference between somebody who can get cut off and go, God, that jerk, and forget about it, versus the guy who... hits the accelerator and goes after the guy and does what you described. What's the difference between those two people?
Well, the first person who said, wow, that guy was a jerk, and then goes back to listening to their radio and driving normally, that person's in full control. He may or she may have fantasized a little bit for a while about all the deliciously cool things they'd like to do to that jerk, but they don't act on it. And they're safe and acting in the normally adaptive way.
But for many other people, maybe 20% of the population, they're going to escalate that, put themselves in harm's way, put other people in harm's way. And those people are struggling with a revenge addiction, which is, it feels good to retaliate, And just like any other addict who's an addict, you know, of alcohol, other narcotics, they're seeking that pleasure.
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