Pop Apologists
275: Divorce Drama, Family Secrets, and Dad’s Wildest Attorney Tales 🥂
Wed, 14 May
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Lauren and Chanler’s dad, a family law attorney, returns to share legal wisdom on divorce, prenups, and child support, plus wild stories like chasing stolen goods. They reflect on their LDS upbringing, raising five daughters, and pursuing dreams at any age.⏱️ Timestamps[00:00–02:00] 🎙️ Dad’s ReturnListener love brings Dad back.[02:00–04:00] 💕 Deb’s FriendshipDad cherishes his 42-year marriage.[04:00–09:00] 👧 Raising DaughtersMom’s strictness, faith, and reading shaped success.[09:00–10:00] ⚖️ Baby NamesCourts don’t block odd names.[10:00–13:00] 💸 Income LiesFight ex’s fraud; ditch shady lawyers.[13:00–17:00] 🕵️♂️ Attorney ChoicePick specialists, trust gut, watch judges.[17:00–19:00] 💳 Blocked AccountsLawyer up for support orders.[19:00–21:00] 💼 Post-Divorce WorkBoth spouses must work; skills matter.[21:00–23:00] 😈 Bad BehaviorAffairs rarely affect no-fault divorce.[23:00–27:00] 👨👧 Five GirlsDad navigated hormones; Mom was strict.[27:00–30:00] 💔 Divorce TipsSeek faith, a friend; try saving marriage.[30:00–33:00] 📈 Impulsive DivorcesMore common, but kids suffer.[33:00–38:00] ⚖️ Law PathStarted law at 30 with three kids.[38:00–41:00] 🚀 Chase DreamsPursue goals at any age.[41:00–44:00] 📝 PrenupsFair prenups share future earnings.[44:00–48:00] 🧗♀️ College DaysLauren’s risky dates; sisters’ server jobs.[48:00–50:00] 🦅 Daughters’ PathsAll chose bold careers, not law.[50:00–52:00] 💡 New CareersNursing, paralegal, sales for reentry.[52:00–57:00] 🚨 Wild TalesLimo attorney; stolen goods chase.[57:00–59:00] 💰 Greed’s CostHidden assets don’t pay off.[59:00–01:01:00] 🌟 No StatusRaised valuing love, not pedigree.[01:01:00–End] 🎤 Sign-OffDad’s 25 followers get love.Follow: @popapologistsPlease note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.For more Pop Apologists, follow along at:@popapologists on InstagramPop Apologists on YouTubeTo support the show, consider subscribing on Patreon or anywhere you listen to podcasts, where you can get bonus episodes of Pop Apologists every Monday and Friday!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: Who are the main speakers in this family law podcast episode?
Chapter 2: How did the hosts introduce their dad and the episode context?
This episode of Pop Apologist is brought to you by Booking.com. Whether you want to earn more or grow a full-on hosting business, check out Booking.com today. For the bookings you've dreamed of, list your property on Booking.com. Hi, everyone. Okay, we are so sorry about the audio quality on today's episode. It's unacceptable. We feel so bad. Our mics did not work.
and there was just no way to salvage it. Our editors tried their best. The sound is coming from our cameras, but it's just barely intelligible. We actually sound a little drunk. Anyway, long story short, we are releasing this episode as a bonus episode for everyone to listen to, so you can still get your Wednesday Pop Apologist fix with excellent audio quality. I love this episode.
It's an episode we recorded with our dad. It's very soulful. It's very sweet. And it's all about, you know, if you are going through a family law matter or just like how to have a great marriage, questions about our family. It's a really, really wonderful episode. We always intended for this to be released to the public at some point, but we've just been kind of keeping it on ice.
We originally released it for premium. So anyway, we're so excited for you guys to hear this episode and to, you know, have everyone hear more from our dad who we just love so much and is truly a star. When we first had him on the pod, people begged for him to come back. So, so happy this one's being released today.
And then thank you so much for your patience with the poor audio quality from the earlier episode and for bearing with us. Love you guys.
Which daughter were you most confident in when she flew the nest? I think all of you guys have such great talents. I wasn't that confident in any of you guys. Well, well, well, we are back with another episode with our dear father back by popular demand. The people wanted to see you back on the podcast and here you are.
Thank you.
I'm very glad to be here with you girls. Always thrilled as always.
It's honestly a little bit jarring what an impact last episode made. Dad, a few people emailed us, and they wanted to tell us how great the episode was. Nobody emails us. Let me just say that. No one emails. That actually never happens. So we got someone sending us a straight email, so many responses in the DMs. I don't know. Dad, are you thinking of podcasting, giving up a lot?
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Chapter 3: What are Dad's insights on raising confident and successful children?
Over 42 years now. Crazy. That's even a better record than my Orange Theory record.
And the companionship is the thing. That is your favorite thing.
It is.
Wow.
That's really sweet. I rarely had to travel. We've been together a lot.
Yeah. Yeah. It's very sweet. Okay. Staying in the familial domestic realm, someone wants to know, best tips to raise confident, successful children. They must have seen Chandler's LinkedIn.
I have to say, I think that a lot of things we could say. I have to say, your mother is probably the biggest factor, I think, in all of that. She is a very sharp person, and she does not miss much, as you girls well know.
Mom, you can't do the cue cards, okay? You can't feed dad lines. No, just kidding.
I'd like to think that your sharpness is genetic. And I think your mother has wonderful social skills. And I think that hopefully I have some brain power also. Brain power, horsepower is everything. Yeah. Whether you're talking about a podcast, a law firm, anything, it's how much horsepower can you generate?
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Chapter 4: What legal advice does Dad offer about handling unusual baby names in court?
Can you... In fact, in family court, they actually have an accountant typically go through and do what they call an income available for support analysis.
And then they take the tax return and then they add back a bunch of certain categories of things like depreciation or other things because the person could claim they only have $10,000 a month or whatever, some amount of money like that, when their cash flow is actually two or three times that much. So that's typically what happens.
And how often do people get away with that?
A lot.
A lot.
At least temporarily, they do.
Temporarily, okay.
Interesting. Can you speak more to the attorneys lying to the court or lying to the judge like that? Can you give us an example of a situation?
Okay, here's one for you. They just basically, it's a matter of they say, well, we're ready for trial. We've been ready for so long. And we know they're not, but they're trying to get the court to rush the case along. Got it, okay. I think that's lying, gaslighting. Yeah. People, like we talked about last time, narcissistic people hire narcissistic attorneys.
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Chapter 5: Can you go after an ex for lying about income to pay less child support?
Yeah. I mean, look at the way the judge, if you ever go to court with your attorney, look at the way they present themselves. Look at the way they talk. Look at the way the judge seems to interact with them. If the judge is sarcastic with them or condescending or whatever, it's probably that may be that the judge doesn't think too much of your attorney or believes your attorney is a liar.
I've had judges tell me. I know she's lying. Really? Your attorney's reputation goes with them for a long time.
Yeah. So a judge will say that from the bench?
In effect, yeah.
Really?
Okay, actually, she said, I've known Mrs. So-and-so. I almost said it. I've known Mrs. So-and-so for many years.
Yeah.
And I know what I'm going to get.
Wow. It's pretty crazy. That is crazy. Someone wants to know, what should I do if my spouse has blocked me from all financial accounts?
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Chapter 6: What should you look for when hiring a divorce attorney?
Yeah, for sure. Dang, that's so interesting. So California is a no fault state. And that's, there's a lot of talk about that. My question is, does bad behavior ever play into a divorce settlement like an affair, given that it's no fault? Like, does any of that ever play into it? Or does it not matter at all?
Very rarely does it play in because, like I think I said last time, the court assumes everybody's having an affair or has done something that caused the divorce. The court rarely knows who caused the divorce. Okay. I mean, affairs are pretty common. Yeah.
There was even a story about a judge and a lawyer that were having an affair. Oh, my gosh. Wow. And, you know, judges, by the time they get to a certain, you know, not that good looking. But I thought this one judge wasn't bad looking for a judge. So it made sense that they were having an affair. I don't know. Maybe she won't. But apparently they were. So.
Oh, wait, are you talking about Tom Girardi? Wasn't he having an affair with a judge?
You know, I don't know. That sounds familiar. That sounds familiar.
Wait, Tom was? Like the Erika Jaynes Tom? Tom Girardi was, I believe. Look this, Google this while I continue the conversation. But I do believe that Tom Girardi was having an affair with like a blonde circuit of appeals judge in LA. Chan's going to corroborate that.
Judges are, you know, judges are human. There was one judge in Orange County and- When a really pretty woman would come into the courtroom, he would light up like a Christmas tree. You could just tell he was just. Human nature. Yeah.
Lauren, you're right. Justice, should I say her name? Sure. Justice Tricia A. Bigelow returned numerous gifts she received from Tom Girardi. Bigelow had been in a relationship with Girardi during his marriage. But yeah, that's her.
okay judges are you know they have the mistakes it's so true okay you hope that you hope that that wasn't or he wasn't appearing in front of her yeah getting wonderful rulings or whatever yeah advantageous rulings she could definitely be like disbarred if that happened right could be problematic yeah yeah i think we should go go back to uh raising great kids oh yeah someone wants to talk about also specifically raising girls
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Chapter 7: How does the court handle blocked financial accounts during divorce?
You obviously are still a child. You might have one you love more than the rest. No, that's not true. You love all your kids. They all have their strengths. Yeah. And, you know, you learn a lot about, you can see why, you can see why God loves all his kids. Yeah. He does.
Yeah.
Despite all their.
If you had to do it over again, would you still have six? I feel like that's too many.
No, I think all of you were supposed to be in our family. And I think when you become a parent, you kind of get, I think your soul voice kind of says, hey, there's another one needs to come along. And our last child, McCall, the younger son, I told mom, I said, we need to have this child. We need a baby. There's somebody else who needs to be in our family.
Well, the men these days are not the same. I know, they're just not the same. I can't even imagine a man saying that, you know, we need to have a fifth child.
You might feel like your family's not complete, actually.
Yeah. This is why I think religion is good for men. It's true. Because I feel like it provides depth, you know, there's real depth. Religion. Yes. Because I feel like that came from an impulse that's like our family is not complete. And I think that came from a religious, spiritual feeling. And I think that in our godless world, that's happening less.
Well, spiritual feelings, I think, are super important. I think I would say even for somebody involved in a divorce, one of the things I was just thinking about is if you're involved in a divorce, I highly recommend that you get a faith. You find a faith. And you find your own faith. You may need to reach out to your maker and pray and all that. Pray about your life.
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Chapter 8: Does bad behavior like affairs impact a no-fault divorce settlement?
Wow. Yeah. Wow. And they could have settled, and they will have less now. So it's a very inefficient process, and it's something that you need. If you've got to go through it, get in and get out.
Yeah. Because all that money you're fighting over, you can spend a lot of it on the process.
Let alone years of your life.
Right. And I think the toll it takes on your kids to see you in that battle or in that state of
Your kids never get their childhood back.
Yeah. Well, I mean, you mean like, you know, move to a place of peace. Your kids can enjoy their childhood as quickly as possible.
Yeah.
So it can be like the least disruptive. I got to say, just like, I don't want people to think who have gone through divorce and our audience that like, we're trying to say though, that,
Like, I just think that it's entirely possible and we would all agree that it's better for kids to have divorced parents and live in two peaceful households than one volatile, chaotic household where the parents are at each other's throats, right? Yeah.
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Chapter 9: What are Dad's experiences raising five daughters and managing family dynamics?
And about having something to look forward to that you're excited about, a goal. I mean, setting goals and going after them. Thinking about... what you're doing with your life at any age. Tell you right now, I mean, at my age, 67, I'm still really excited about a lot of things in my life. And I've got more mountains I want to climb, more things I want to do.
Right.
And so, I mean, I think there's no reason to not chase your dreams.
Yeah.
It's what really makes you feel alive.
Yeah. It's the American spirit.
So true. I think too, dad, you've always talked about like enjoying owning your own business. Right.
And being your own boss. And I think like I didn't, you know, now that I kind of have two different, you know, jobs, I just think that that is something that I now experience working for the podcast and also my other job. But it really is. So it's really cool when you can be an entrepreneur, you know, and set your own hours and all of that.
A lot of times it's longer hours, but at least. Yeah. You're working on something that your heart isn't. I think it's a problem to be in a job that your heart's not in it. Yeah.
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Chapter 10: What advice does Dad give about faith and friendship during divorce?
You girls have went into things that you're willing to just go to the mat and do what you really maybe like doing. Although I have to say, I think being a lawyer does fit my skill set. So I think that's been a good thing for me. I think I found a profession that I liked and enjoyed.
Like I said before, if you're not in a profession or if you're not in something you enjoy, start thinking about getting into something else. I think all of you, it's wonderful to see you capitalize on your talents. Not one of you, I noticed, has wanted to follow me into the law. I thought Lauren was going to. How many LSAT books did you get?
I tried to convince Lauren to do that. You would have been great. It sounds like she made the right decision.
Yeah, but then I couldn't have done this with her. That's true. I mean, I personally was not meant, I think, to be under a lot of pressure. It's just too much for me.
Look at her.
She was not meant to be under a lot of pressure.
The reality is, I mean, it is kind of funny, too. You hear that saying, the world's full of people who almost went to law school. Yeah, exactly.
Maybe they got smart. Maybe they were wise. But again, I think that's another thing. If you talk about, I'm just going to say it. I think people should seek guidance on who they marry. Try and listen to your soul voice. Listen to that little voice that we all have. People should seek guidance on what their job is. And that doesn't mean that you stay in the same job for your entire career.
A lot of people change careers every seven or eight years. You might change careers three or four times in your career. I've seen clients do amazing things to reinvent themselves. They're in the mortgage business and then that went... flat. And so I had this one guy, then he got into the credit repair and loan and help people, you know, owed a lot of money.
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