Lauren, Chan, and returning guest Joe Peacock are diving in to chat about the biggest misconceptions and unrealistic expectations that romantic comedies have given them, from jobs and apartments to the way a partner should be expressing their love. Lauren, Chan, and Joe take a look at some of the rom coms that have lied to them the most: You’ve Got Mail, Runaway Bride, Pretty Woman, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, and more. They also chat about the rom com male archetypes and why rom com writers have set women and men up for disappointment. Finally, Chan shares where she was looking for her perfect meet-cute to happen, Lauren recalls a time where she tried to create a rom com moment in her life, and Joe shares his dream of dating someone adjacent to a certain celebrity. Shop Clean Simple Eats protein powder a nd use code POPAPOLOGISTS for 10% off! Click here to try EarlyBird CBD/THC gummies and use code POP20 for 20% off. To support the show, consider subscribing on Patreon, where you can get a bonus epi sode of Pop Apologists every Friday! Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: How have rom-coms shaped our expectations of love?
I don't know how he got so lucky. Today we have come to the table to commiserate, to discuss why rom-coms have ruined all of us. And who better to, you know, discuss this with than Joe Peacock. So welcome.
Thank you for dragging me back. I feel like this is a support group, honestly. A support group I've needed and wanted and I finally found because I genuinely feel like I've been ruined by rom-coms.
Wait, no, I truly, when I was preparing for this gorgeous episode, I was like discovering how much of my issues are actually just me entirely.
And all of my maybe romantic problems are based on the fact that I have completely unrealistic expectations set for me by Shonda Rhimes, by the writers of these rom-coms who truly have ruined our expectations of what the men or women in our life will do for us. Today is a deconstruction.
And I just want to give us all permission to weep, to wail, whatever it's going to take for us to really get to the bottom of this and just sit with it. You know, it's okay. Let's hold space for each other today. Please.
I will say I'm coming at it from a place. I'm not ready to give up some of these expectations. I would just like to process my anger that they're not giving me up to. I was taught that a world would be waiting for me that I don't think has come to fruition. But I'm still holding out hope. So I'm not ready to kind of like give it up.
No.
I like the world I'm living in, I guess.
Wow. How fragile. Where do we even begin? Where should we start? I can just start with one. Yeah. So this is actually not even like romantically related. This is actually more economical. Okay. Okay.
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Chapter 2: What unrealistic job portrayals do rom-coms present?
No, that is such a great point. We are primed for these meet-cutes. I do remember whatever errands I was on, I wanted them to be cute errands because they were just potential moments for big things to happen. I'm walking through TJ Maxx smelling candles. I could meet the love of my life right here.
No, I have 100% gone to several bars, essentially, looking cute, just hoping that the love of my life, he'd be there on business, okay? He'd just be going through town on business, and he's going to look up from his gin and tonic. Men are always on business, too. Yeah, they're always traveling for business.
And he's going to look up from his cocktail and just see this blonde on the other side of the counter. He's going to be dying to know what I have to say, okay? And let me tell you, men do approach, but not the ones you want to. Yes, 100%. Absolutely.
And this brings me to one of my other points, which is that you will not be able to step outside of your door without getting hit on, which is, I think is similar to what you were just saying that, yeah, you will be getting hit on nonstop. And like, you'll have to just like, you know, fight people back, like literally set up partitions. Right. Right. That was not my experience at all.
And I will say, I also think that with the app's Now it's becoming less and less of people's experiences. I do not think men approach women like even 10% as much as they used to. I completely agree. Yeah. Like when I, when I was dating, when I lived in Los Angeles, I don't know that I ever got cold approached. And if it was by somebody, it was more weird than hot or flattering.
Well, and I think this actually goes to another thing, which is that because sometimes when you get cold approached by a guy you're not into, it's almost kind of a little scary because you're like, I got to get out of this situation. Especially if they're really, like, really interested. Yeah. Yeah.
So I think that another thing that romantic comedies teach men is that if a woman says she's not into you, that means it's time to double down and stalk her more. Okay. And chase after her more. And as a woman, this would actually be quite a scary experience. Like even back to the notebook, you know, she's not interested. She's not interested. Okay. He's going to chase her down.
Keep coming after her. Go to the Ferris wheel. See her coming through town.
I'm going to throw him off the Ferris wheel now. I think maybe for gays it's less daunting or like it feels less predatory. But I've gotten a few people's numbers just like in person. Yeah. And it's thrilling.
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