Monday Morning Podcast
'Becoming Led Zeppelin', Paul McCartney, Steam Rooms | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-13-25
Thu, 13 Feb 2025
Bill rambles about 'Becoming Led Zeppelin', seeing Paul McCartney, and steam rooms. (00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast (24:00) - Thursday Afternoon Throwback - 2-13-17 - Bill rambles about Friday the 13th, Coach K, and changing diapers. Thursday Afternoon Interlude: The Beatles - Fixing A Hole
Chapter 1: What is Bill Burr's podcast introduction?
hey what's going on it's bill burn it's time for the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in checking in on you oh um jesus christ what a fucking week i'm having jesus christ um dude i had the fucking hiccups for like two days and i'm not saying they won't happen right now all right so get ready
Chapter 2: How did Bill Burr handle his persistent hiccups?
how's that for a teaser oh my god am i gonna hear some hiccups have i tuned into the fucking perfect podcast or what um evidently you can't have uh a couple cups of coffee and then balsamic vinaigrette two days in a row it's too i didn't know balsamic vinaigrette was acidic um And I didn't even know what the fuck was going on. And they just wouldn't stop.
To the point I was at rehearsal doing my shit with the hiccups. I did interviews with the hiccups to promote my shit that I was doing with the hiccups. I was waking up in the middle of the night with the hiccups. I feel like I'm going to get the hiccups again right now. So I have to drink some fucking water.
To try to keep this shit down... I had to go to the doctor... The whole fucking thing... And I started thinking about it... I remember when I was a kid... When I was just a lad... One of the most amazing books... When I was a kid... Was the Guinness Book of World Records... And you'd always look for the fattest guy... You know... Then they had the fat twins... On the mini bikes...
tallest man and all of that the longest fingernails all this stupid shit and then one of them was the world record for the the longest hiccups and this poor bastard had hiccups like he got him and then just had him for the rest of his life like decades this fucking guy had hiccups um and had the intestinal fortitude to not kill himself like i don't know it's at what point
At what point your diaphragm is fucking feeling like, you know, your organs are doing sit-ups, right? You definitely got a nickname. You know? You know, Billy Jumpstart. It'd be something. Um...
so i finally went to the doctor something german irish people do not do um but i was being smart and i went there and the lady told me what was up and got me some over-the-counter that i'm supposed to take for like a week and evidently i'll be all right so just laying off the coffee the balsamic vinaigrette uh no pasta You know, red sauce basically, right? That's acidic tomatoes.
Eat some fucking root vegetables and see what the hell happened. But the last time I had heartburn like this was me and Verzi were doing a gig in New Orleans. And we had the gig on Friday at the casino. On Saturday, we went to the LSU Alabama game. in Death Valley. Then we hung around Sunday. And then on Monday, we went to Monday night, the New Orleans Saints versus the Philadelphia Eagles.
Your Super Bowl champion, Philadelphia Eagles, who should have fucking won two of the last three. Think about that. They should have won two of the last three. That fucking hand on the small of that fucking dude's back, and they called that holding. And put the fucking Chiefs, I swear to God.
Ha ha.
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Chapter 3: What was Bill Burr's experience with 'Becoming Led Zeppelin'?
interview that he did just the audio of it and i'm telling you just to hear his voice just to hear him talking to hear him laughing to know what his laugh sounds like um And there's a laugh on the second side of the Physical Graffiti album. And now, after all these years, I always wondered who it was. And I'm like, oh my God, that's Bonham's laugh. And they have pictures of him when he was a kid.
He was kind of like a fat kid when he was growing up. So it kind of made sense when he got older. That he kind of was going in that direction again. Now, had people known about addiction and alcoholism and all of that, they could have had like an intervention. People just did not help people. They could have got to the root of the problem that, you know.
he was a great dad and he missed his family and he'd get sad and he would drink. Like that's basically what it was. And as far as what, look, obviously I don't know the real answer, but like, I feel like that's what happened on that night when he, what did they say? Yeah. Death by misadventure. When he drank too much, got sick in his sleep and asphyxiated. I just think the,
Thought of going back out on the road again. And being away from his family. Because there's pictures there. And a couple little video things of him. With his son. And. I don't know. I could always tell like a good dad. Because, you know, the kids are really physical with him, like crawling all over him. And they're like sort of like fake wrestling him with them and stuff like that.
To me, that's always that shows me that the dad is involved. That, you know, the kids crawling all over you and stuff like that. That means you're doing the dad thing. You're getting down on the floor with them. You know what I mean? You're recreating WrestleMania style. You're coming up with, you know, chasing them around and all of that stuff.
So it was really, really cool to see that part of them. And then also to hear these guys talking about his playing and some of the footage and stuff. It's really fucking cool. Anyway, so I saw that Tuesday night. And then last night, out of nowhere...
my buddy uh josh adam myers goes dude paul mccartney is playing the bowery ballroom it's like a 600 seater do you want to go and i'd never seen him and i'm like it's a beetle i gotta fucking go so we end up going down there and it was sort of a last second show and you couldn't get tickets online you had to go down there and physically buy them
And I don't think a lot of people heard about it or whatever, but like... It was like... It was full, but it wasn't like jammed. Maybe they listened to the fire code. So we were standing on the floor down below, but it wasn't like suffocating, you know? And... He comes out with this killer band. You know, finally got to see Abe on drums, who's just a killer fucking drummer. And...
Having so much fun. And they came out. It's Paul McCartney. And I'm standing like... I couldn't have been more than 40, 50 feet away from him. You know? Like if it was a regular giant arena, I would have been like 10th row. It was crazy. And he just comes out. And just, boom, goes right in. Can't buy me love. And it was just like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's singing a Beatles.
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Chapter 4: How did Bill Burr attend Paul McCartney's intimate concert?
You know what I mean? You don't want to go there and fucking see somebody up there because they got fucking tax problems and shit and just, you know. I don't know. Like, we've all been to those shows where you go to, like, I always said that. You go to see an older entertainer, one of two things is going to happen. You're really going to be thinking about your own mortality.
Some of them make you think about dying, and the others make, you know, a very rare few make you feel about going out and living. And Paul McCartney, thank God, made me want to go out and live. Uh-oh, here come the hiccups.
ah fuck here we go starting i was hoping i could get through this whole thing but you know what they're not as bad as they were so i don't think i'm gonna be setting any sort of guinness book of world record thing anyway so anyway yeah um oh and then like you know up on the uh the balcony there was all these famous people that that had come in to go check them out and you know musicians and and um
comedians saw an nfl owner up there i don't want to fucking rat anybody i don't like saying names or whatever but like um actors actresses or whatever i still don't understand why you can't say actress like why is actress offensive you know what i mean you're one of the you're a you're a fucking incredible actress the fuck did you say You know, I don't... There's a couple I never understood.
Actress is offensive. Stewardess is offensive. And then they come with flight attendant. Stewardess sounds more like mysterious. Like, I don't know what... Flight attendant? They're just saying what you're doing? You're attending the flight? We know what you're doing. Why are you so ashamed of it? Little people? Is that better?
I get not wanting to be called a midget once they said what it was and where it came from. It's like, I get that. They couldn't come up with something better than little people?
Let's see if I can... I don't know. Off the top of my head, I probably can't do better. Little people... uh second string no that's still insulting uh um i don't know maybe that's tough um anyway i would well listen if they were the ones who actually came up with it You know, they had like a meeting. You know what I mean? They had a little meeting. Sorry. It's just easy jokes.
Anyway, plowing ahead. So I got to see those two things. And then I saw highlights of the Super Bowl. Jesus Christ. That was a mugging. Anyway. Anyway. At some point, I'm going to watch that. I'm sure the NFL Network is going to have it on or I'll be able to watch it. It's going to be great. Somebody's going to post it without the fucking commercials, which will be fantastic. And I don't know.
You know it's a bad Super Bowl when most of the controversy is about the halftime show. You know what I mean? I guess it was people upset that they felt like they couldn't understand Kendrick Lamar.
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Chapter 5: Why does Bill Burr discuss steam rooms and gym experiences?
You didn't say... If you could just fucking somehow navigate... Whatever the fucking appropriate behavior is going on in there, you can take a steam.
You know, is that part of the tour where you go like, all right, you know, if you don't want to see psychologically scarring behavior, try to come here during, is it better to come in during peak hours or because there's a lot of witnesses or non-peak hours? It's fucking out of control. I can't tell you that, but I'm going to tell you some fucking stories later. Anyway, what are you going to do?
All right, well, that's the podcast. This is a few minutes short here. I got to go here, so I'm going to be late for work. Anyway, I want to thank Jimmy Page for putting together that podcast.
becoming Led Zeppelin thing and I want to thank Paul McCartney for doing that small show I want to thank Josh Adam Myers for getting me a ticket it was unbelievable it was life changing I will never forget that concert it made me want to It made me feel great. I felt amazing. I was floating when I was coming out of there.
And the fact that Paul McCartney can still do that over 60 years into his career is really inspiring. And it's something I'm so happy I got a chance to experience. All right. That is the podcast. Listen to the music picked out by Andrew Themlis. And then we'll have a bonus episode of the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast coming out after this. MotoGP starts soon.
So does F1. Baseball season's coming up. And basketball, what do we got? We got March Madness. Bill, we know what we got. I don't know. I get excited because everybody gets all sad when football's over. But there's still a lot of good shit out there. All right. That's it. Have a great weekend, you cunts. And I'll check in on you on Monday.
I'm fixing the hole where the rain gets in And stops my mind from wondering Where it will go I'm filling the cracks that ran through the door And kept my mind from wondering
Hey, what's going on?
What's going on? It's Bill Byrd. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, February 13th, 2017. What's going on? How are you? How y'all, how you doing over there? Why is Friday the 13th unlucky and Monday the 13th? Oh, that's just fucking fine. You know, who's the pussy who came up with that one?
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Chapter 6: What are Bill Burr's thoughts on Friday the 13th?
Where the fuck did this music come from? All right, let's read with this music on in the background.
The superstition about this day is thought to have... I can't do this. It's thought to have come about... All right, that's enough of that. During the Middle Ages, and many have biblical origins, some historians have claimed it was the day on which Eve bit the apple from the tree of Nile. Oh, Jesus Christ. Holy, that just scared the shit out of me, Nia. The lovely Nia, everybody.
Oh, with my beautiful daughter. Two lovely ladies. What's going on?
I thought you were done. Sorry.
No, I was watching the videos that people sent me this week. What's going on? Are you going to drop her off?
No.
I can't do the podcast the way I talk. That's why I was in here with the door closed. It's a pocket door, by the way, if you wonder why I just squeaked like we live in a haunted house.
No, I just saw another place that I wanted to show you that maybe you wanted to order from. Yeah.
Okay.
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Chapter 7: How does Bill Burr handle scheduling and events?
The 98 Yankees. That was a great team. Probably fucking free agent their way. I mean, speaking of which, the Red Sox are doing that this year. It's a good year to get the package. No matter what, you're going to be entertained. You either get to watch like a fucking $900 million team shit the bed or just, you know, there is no Santa Claus. We're buying it. One or the other.
Either way, it's going to be dramatic.
so anyways I got a such a funny question how many drinks do you I don't fucking know do I have a pocket protector I don't count them I like you know they always you know what's funny they fucking say having a glass of wine with your meal is actually good for you you know what I mean so I mean I don't I don't understand that do you smoke yeah yeah a little bit it's fucking lying your ass off
Oh, Jesus. Can you imagine if you can imagine anybody, even the fucking people who work there, if you answered any of those questions fucking honestly, you know what I mean? All right. Bruins. And I probably shouldn't be talking about this. Who gives a shit? There's a comedy podcast. These are all jokes, everybody. This is what I did today. My fucking dumb ass did today.
So, you know, I'm going to be the person presenter at the Writers Guild. No, the the. Yeah, the Writers Guild Awards thing, right? And so they say it's a black tie thing. And I'm like, ah, fuck, I got to get a fucking tuxedo. So I call up. By the time I call up, it's too late to get one. So Nia Googles some pictures.
And everybody seems like relaxed, like they're just wearing suits with a black tie. So I say, fuck it, I'll wear one of my suits. So I pull out a suit. I get the shirt. We do the whole fucking thing. I got it to go and all that. So today I'm dressing up. You know, I'm hanging with my daughter. I'm putting my time in, you know, because I'm going to be gone for three, four hours.
And Nia's going to be handling it by herself. And I'm going to go out and go do this this fucking Hollywood thing. Right. And I'm sitting there and I know, you know, the red carpet and everything's between three or four. And I'm like, I can't I don't know when the fuck the car's coming to pick me up. I'm all dressed up, ready to go. You know, two o'clock, 205, 210, 215. I'm texting people.
225.
I walk outside. I'm looking around. I don't see anybody. I'm just sitting there and it finally dawns on me. I'm like, wait a minute. And I just looked up the date of the fucking award show. It's next Sunday. Isn't that hilarious? You know what the funny thing about it is? Nia got mad at me. Why don't you write things down? Don't give us a... It's not... I didn't miss it.
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Chapter 8: What upcoming comedy events does Bill Burr promote?
Well, then what's the problem? Why do you have to dramatically open our squeaky pocket door to come in here and insert yourself on the podcast?
I don't know.
All right. Are you done?
Are you kicking me out now? Are you almost done?
No, I've just started.
Oh, you just started?
Well, people send me. Oh, no, I'm 17 minutes in.
Oh, Jesus. I came up here to watch the Grammys, but I can't turn the TV on now, right?
Watch the Grammys.
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