Tony Robbins is a life and business coach, entrepreneur and #1 New York Times Bestselling author. What does it truly mean to live a good life? Many fall into the trap of believing that nothing we have—or ever will have—can fill the voids we feel inside. If material possessions and physical desires aren’t the answer, then what are the keys to a happy and fulfilled life? Expect to learn how to build your self-esteem, strategies for not being so hard on yourself, how to balance ambition & gratitude, tips for taking life less seriously, the 3 important decisions you probably don’t know you make everyday, Tony Robbins’s morning routine, how to let go of your past, if Tony has found peace in his life, how to become better at pattern recognition and much more… Sponsors: See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://chriswillx.com/deals Get the best bloodwork analysis in America at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom Get a 20% discount on Nomatic’s amazing luggage at https://nomatic.com/modernwisdom Get a Free Sample Pack of all LMNT Flavours with any purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom Get a 20% discount on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom Extra Stuff: Time To Rise Summit: https://timetorisesummit.com Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom Episodes You Might Enjoy: #577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: https://tinyurl.com/43hv6y59 #712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: https://tinyurl.com/2rtz7avf #700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: https://tinyurl.com/3ccn5vkp - Get In Touch: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: How can driven people build self-esteem?
It feels a little bit like a curse, I think, of driven people to have high expectations. How can people who are always very hard on themselves learn to build up their self-esteem a little bit more?
Chapter 2: What is the role of self-esteem in achieving goals?
I don't know if self-esteem is the answer. I don't think it's bad to be hard on yourself, as long as you also celebrate when the victories happen. But so many people will tell you, I have poor self-esteem because when I was a kid, people said this to me and that to me. It's convenient that we remember those things and not the positive things that also occur, obviously.
But I think it's more important to realize that self-esteem is earned. It's only earned by you with yourself. You're not going to get self-esteem because everybody praises you. Someone can tell you your whole life that you're brilliant, you're a genius, you're beautiful, you're handsome, and you not believe it.
Someone can tell you you're a piece of crap and you're never going to become anything, and there's a part of you that can say, I'll show you, as many people have, and then they develop drive out of it, right? So it's really, self-esteem comes from doing incredibly difficult things where you know you pushed yourself. It's not virtue signaling. It's not telling people about it.
It's what you know inside your soul is true. And the more you do things that are incredibly difficult, and especially things that are meaningful, meaning they're not just about yourself, the higher that esteem would be. I think the most important thing for self-esteem is to find something you care about more than yourself. As long as you're in your own head, the
the nature of the mind is reductionism, right? Good, bad, right, wrong, all those types of things. Of course, life is much more, many different hues than that.
And so when you find something you care about, whether it's your kids or whether it's something, your job, your career, whether it's a mission you have, that's something you want to bring to the world, nonprofit, it doesn't matter what it is.
If you find something you care about more than you, you won't be thinking about yourself all the time and all your bullshit self-esteem shit just goes out the window. I mean, it's just, when I hear it, it's just so mamby-pamby B.S. You can have crappy self-esteem and achieve a hell of a lot. Now, the real question is, what do you want?
And I think there's, if you want an extraordinary life, which my definition of that is life on your terms. Like, what's my idea? It might be different than yours completely. Some people, it's three beautiful children, a white picket fence. Some people, it's building a multi-billion dollar business. Somebody else, it's writing poetry, right?
So instead of looking for somebody else, it's like, okay, what do you really want from your life? and aligning yourself with moving forward towards what you really want. And I think if you can do that in a way that also you feel serving others simultaneously, there's a sense of meaning in life that can't be replaced by self-esteem or praise or compliments or being nice to yourself.
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Chapter 3: How do we balance ambition and gratitude?
But there's a much more direct route, which is to enjoy the thing. So there is another tension here, I think, between seriousness of pursuit and joy and ease in the moment. And finding the balance between those two is something I think a lot of people struggle with.
That's true. It's an art. It's chemistry, right? And you don't get it right in the beginning. And, you know, it takes time and you have to have the intention to want both. I remember when I met my trainer, Billy, years ago, he was one of my dearest friends. And he's brilliant. And he said, what do you really want out of your training?
He goes, because what I find is I don't, you know, I don't even need me. He goes, you know, no one needs to push you. I got to push you back. I got to stop you from going that hard. He goes, I said, no, I'm not looking for motivation. I said, I want to be specific. I want to produce very precise results. But I said, at this point, I think I've been working out like a crazy person.
I suppress my oxygen. I do. You saw what I do. It's just ridiculous. I'm a biohacker, right? I have to be, I got to go on stage and do 12 to 13 hours and hold 13, 14, 15, 20,000 people's attention for four days. Right. When they won't sit for a three hour movie, somebody spent $300 million on, you know, it takes a level of energy.
I'm not just standing there talking, I'm running up the side, I'm doing these things. So I said, I don't want to give up any of that. I need that power in me to be able to produce. But I said, I want to have fun. He says, what does that look like? And I said, well, I don't know. I think, you know, when I was a kid, I used to play racquetball.
I said, maybe for the aerobic instead of just running, maybe we'll do something that's fun to do. And he goes, that's great. Let's do it. So we called around no racquetball courts anywhere, but squash. Do you play squash? Yep. Yeah. So you can appreciate squash is awesome and it's more strategic and how a lot better exercise than, you know, racquetball is.
So I got into playing squash and it was like, wow, it added a whole nother dimension. And then that led to, you know, you know, at this stage, if I go someplace and I'm going to be kind, which I want to be, You know, it's not a 20 minute drive and 20 minute back. It's 20 minutes, you know, in and out. I'm sure, you know, pictures and, you know, just connecting with people and taking care of them.
And so, man, I don't have time for this. So that's how this happened down here.
And it's like, I just imagine there's a racquetball court somewhere near us or a squash court.
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Chapter 4: What decisions shape our daily lives?
Chapter 5: How can focusing on the positive change your life?
I think most people would probably focus on what they can't control. I'm an even balance, I would say, between the two. I'm working quite hard to try.
I was going to say, you strive. It's part of your philosophy, right, to focus on what you can control, right? So that's part of the stoicism, the whole philosophy of stoicism, right? But most people, you're absolutely right.
Now, in my seminars, it's different because I got 15,000, 20,000 people ask that question, and the vast majority of them say they're focused on what's missing, but the vast majority of them say they do focus on what they can control. That's why they came. Why would they spend their money and time?
They want to take control of their business or their body or their relationship, whatever the case may be. So they have a different belief structure. If you have both of those out of whack, you got some real challenges. Most people have at least one out of whack, which creates stress.
And then the third one, and there's many more than these, but just quickly for the people at home, and I'm asking them to do this for themselves if they want to, where do you tend to focus more? Your past, your present, your future? We all spend all three, but where do you spend more of your time? Where do you think most people do? Where do you? Yeah.
I guess most people just not the present, perhaps dreams for the future. For me, I would say mostly in the future as well.
Yeah. And that's where most achievers live. We do. I have to discipline myself not to do that because what makes you an achiever is anticipation. you've learned by a long time, anticipation is power. As I'm listening, I'm watching you, you're anticipating, you're processing, right?
Dopamine's a hell of a drug, yeah.
Yes, it does. And it gives you a sense of control. And also, if you don't anticipate, it's like playing a video game against the child. Now, you're a different generation, so you might kick the child's ass, I don't know. But my generation, I didn't play any video games
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Chapter 6: What is the significance of storytelling in personal growth?
Chapter 7: How can philanthropy lead to personal fulfillment?
So books, live events, in-person, online, audio courses. What have you come to understand about the things that can be achieved from people in a group context that maybe can't be achieved through self-directed learning?
I would, I think anything can be done by self-directed learning personally. I just think it accelerates when you create an environment where it maximizes. So, you know, low energy, you get, I have a frame, you may disagree with this massively, you get in your head, you're dead. I think, I want to say, you have to have the head and heart connected, right? It's like, why don't people transform?
Because they're in their head about it. They're thinking it through. They think, if I understand this, then it'll just happen. It's absurd. You know, if you're good at something, you've trained it into yourself. You know, I'm fortunate enough to own several sports teams or pieces of sports teams. And I have, you know, championships in all these sports. You know, I want to be an athlete.
So I relived it in a different way. But, you know, the Golden State Warriors are one of the ones I have a piece of. And I've got a chance to work with them. There are championship seasons, work with the players. It's been totally fun. But you look at somebody like Steph Curry. And you see this guy, you know, shoot the ball from almost half court, chomping on the side of his thing.
And he turns, he doesn't even look. He turns around and just waves because he knows it's in already. And it's swish and the crowd goes crazy. And people look at that and go, he's unbelievable. He is. He's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. He's the greatest three-point shooter in history. There's no one like him. But what they don't pay attention to is that isn't like a little gift that
He shoots 500 shots every single day, never less than that, seven days a week for more than 15 years. It's a 15-year professional career. He's been doing it since before he was in college. His dad really trained him. So think of that, 3,500 shots a week, 168,000 shots in a year, 2.52 million shots in his 15-year NBA career. So he can make 3,600 shots, not even one-tenth of 1%.
I tell people you get rewarded in public for what you practice in private. Your training of your nervous system to do things is what really matters most. And you can't just be in your head. So I believe to answer your question, you know, the reason I still do events is that an event provides, first of all, immersion. you can learn a language a little bit at a time.
And, you know, you ask most people, unless they live in a place where they have to use the language and they learned another language in high school and college, they don't speak it anymore. They don't remember 10 words. But if you wanted to learn Italian and you have the time and money, I just drop you in Italy, drop you in Rome and pick you up four months later. There is a zero question.
You're going to speaking Italian because you're seeing it, feeling it, breathing, doing it. So that's why I do 12 hours of time, four days. And people think it sounds insane, but, It's only insane if you're not enjoying it. And people love it. Even people that get dragged there because we engage all their senses, not just their head.
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