It's Election Day, but instead of focusing on politics, we decided to do something a little lighter for the occasion: we're looking at this year's hot mom rom-com boom. Host Brittany Luse is joined by New York Magazine features writer Rachel Handler to get a little deeper into three movies from this genre: A Family Affair, The Idea of You, and Between the Temples. They discuss how hot moms on screen have changed, but why movies like these often still feel behind the times.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy
Chapter 1: What is the hot mom rom-com boom?
Hello, hello. I'm Brittany Luce, and you're listening to It's Been a Minute from NPR, a show about what's going on in culture and why it doesn't happen by accident. A warning, this segment contains references to sex and sexuality. Okay, y'all, is it just me, or are we in a hot mom rom-com boom? Boom.
By my count, there are at least seven movies this year that feature older women falling in love with much younger men. There's The Idea of You, A Family Affair, Lonely Planet, and Baby Girl, just to name a few. But why now?
Chapter 2: Why are older women the focus in rom-coms now?
I can't say exactly why, but I have many possible theories. That's my guest today.
New York Magazine features writer Rachel Handler. She wrote about why older women are this year's most coveted object of desire.
You know, we're suffering from a lack of social institutions. They failed us. Do we have a sort of societal mommy issue? Is there something going on where we're running out of movie stars and we need to start creating projects for the movie stars that we do have who are inevitably getting older as, you know, time marches forward?
Hot moms are obviously timeless. I mean, we've seen hot moms in cinema for a long time. There was Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate. What do you think of me?
What do you mean?
You've known me nearly all your life. You must have formed some opinion of me. Or Stifler's mom from American Pie. Stifler's mom. Hey, Finji. How did you know I was here? I called a couple of weeks ago. For the longest time, these hot moms were usually seen as cougars, lusty older women circling in on younger men. But these new movies are very different.
To start, the moms are the main subjects on journeys of self-discovery and exploration, a far cry from strategic predators. I sat down with Rachel to unpack what three of these films say about Hollywood's changing attitudes towards older women and why the category of quote unquote women's film still feels behind the times. Rachel Handler, we're so happy to have you.
So we're here to talk about the Hot Mom Rom-Com. How do you feel about the Hot Mom Rom-Com boom?
Wow, that's a very big question.
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Chapter 3: What are the themes in 'The Idea of You'?
Do I sense an accent? Like South African? No, I'm Australian. Do you know Margot Robbie?
I do.
So these movies are kind of similar. What do you think they say about being a hot mom?
I mean, what I found most interesting in sort of the tropes that I was outlining was is that like there was so much similarity in terms of like, okay, she's really sort of classically Hollywood beautiful. It's Nicole Kidman, it's Anna Hathaway. It's like, they look like themselves. They're very professionally successful. Yes. Nicole is an author, a very, very successful author. Yes.
Who is sometimes paid in couture.
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Chapter 4: How does 'A Family Affair' compare to other films?
You know how my mom writes assignments for Vogue when she can't finish a book? Yeah. Vogue does not pay very well, but they do give a lot of swag. Whoa. And she never wears any of it.
In a closet full of couture. She's like, when they can't pay me, they give me couture. I'm like, what?
What job is this? Who are you writing for? What are you talking about?
That was specifically a movie for aliens. But I do think, I hope they liked it. I hope they liked it.
I hope they did.
These women are, like, successful. They're wealthy. Their whole lives are together except they have this, you know, aching pit at the center of their soul that can only be filled by, you know, a famous man 15 years younger than them. And I thought that was really—it was fascinating. A lot of, like, the younger woman rom-coms are like, she's a hot mess. Can't get it together.
If only someone could come along and, like, play this woman up. Yeah, so I thought that was, like, an interesting switch. It's like she doesn't need him, but she wants him.
She wants him. Yeah. I also found it so interesting in those films that they just act like no one would ever ask them out. When we first see Nicole Kidman's character, she's this really fabulous writer. She's got this huge, gorgeous home. But when we see her, she's snapping green beans or shelling peas or something like that. And I'm just like, what?
She's snapping peas or something for her grown daughter to come home and eat dinner. And I'm like... Okay. You mean to tell me that a woman looks like Nicole Kidman with all this money, she doesn't have any friends to be with.
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Chapter 5: What are the societal implications of hot mom rom-coms?
No.
She doesn't have a pottery class that she wants to do. She doesn't have a trip to take. There's no other men asking her out. And the idea of you, which is interesting because they appeared to have, I think, the narrowest age gap of all of the But the whole movie, Selene.
Selene. Selene.
Selene.
Her grandparents are French.
Her grandparents are French. Selene. The whole time she's like, ah, you're too young for me. I'm so old. I'm too old for him. I'm too old for you.
I don't know.
Okay. I mean, I knew what we were getting into with the film. Like, I get it.
Yeah, we get it. I know. She's like, I just can't. Also, there's a scene in both of those movies where they like stand in front of the mirror. Looking amazing, but like pouting at the horror of their body. This is what I'm saying. It's like we don't need to keep reinforcing this point.
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Chapter 6: Are the standards for rom-coms changing?
Oh, loved. Are you okay?
Can you help me?
Baby, give me your hand.
Give me your hand.
Come on.
So it's one of my favorite movies of the year, actually.
Me too.
It's a movie about a widow in her 70s played by the fantastic Carol Kane. And she wants to get bat mitzvahed because she didn't have one when she was younger. And she ends up finding love with a much younger but still 40-something-year-old Hebrew school teacher played by Jason Schwartzman.
Can we have a shot of bat mitzvah?
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Chapter 7: What do recent films say about women's roles?
Yes.
As opposed to showing you a very conventionally attractive, young-looking character. Anne Hathaway. And being like, the audience needs for her character to ask the heavens, why oh why does this young hot guy like me?
As opposed to, yeah, I felt like in Between the Temples, the gaze of the film was looking at Carole Kane, you know, this really gorgeous, fantastic woman in her 70s, and being like, I mean, can you blame him?
Obviously.
Right. No, that's exactly right. And that's exactly what I'm talking about. It's like, even though the conversation does turn to age... it's still an inevitability that he would fall in love with her. Exactly.
I mean, I left the movie being like, I'm risking it all for her.
And I do think that what's missing, too, is I do think that none of these movies are kind of leaning into the eroticism of that inherent dynamic.
Very good point. It's interesting because, I mean... When I feel like films do lean into the eroticism of that dynamic, that's when you get Stifler's mom played by Jennifer Coolidge.
Oh, right. It's like a joke.
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