How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
How to Meet Your Dream Woman—and How Jason Dated a Lakers Cheerleader! (Live Coaching)
Tue, 04 Feb 2025
You see a stunning woman across the room and want to talk to her… but what do you say? How do you start a conversation without fear of rejection? In this episode of “How to Get a Girlfriend,” dating coach Connell Barrett helps his client Jason master this skill—live on air. Plus,hear how Jason conquered crippling approach anxiety and dated an L.A. Lakers Cheerleader! Connell shares actionable strategies to help Jason (and you!) connect with women. No cheesy “pickup artist” tricks. Just authentic confidence that works.You’re about to learn:8:40: The #1 Shift to Overcome Social Anxiety and Build Dating Momentum10:30: How Jason Walked Up to a Woman and Made Out with Her in Minutes (with Connell’s In-Person Help)18:38: 3 Proven Anti-Flaking Techniques to Keep Her Interested23:35: The 3-Text Rule that Gets Women Replying and Asking YOU Out29:23: The Risk-Taking Strategy that Makes You Instantly More Attractive41:47: The One Thing She Secretly Hopes You’ll Do When You Approach Her47:53: What to Write when She Doesn’t Reply to Your Text52:57: The Right Way to Ask Her Out and Not Get Flaked OnThis episode is like getting a personal coaching session with Connell—for free. Listen now!FOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN HOW TO HAVE GREAT FIRST DATES:http://www.datingtransformation.com/contactTO GET FREE ACCESS TO “THE FLIRTY 30,” CHARMING QUESTIONS TO ASK WOMEN ON DATES, ON THE APPS, AND WHEN YOU APPROACH:http://www.datingtransformation.com/FLIRTY30WANT A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”? EMAIL CONNELL AND WRITE “FREE BOOK” IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND YOU’LL GET IT INSTANTLY:[email protected]
Chapter 1: How did Jason approach an LA Lakers cheerleader?
there's like a random thursday after like a month i'm not approaching i'll go up to la lakers cheerleader and target approach her get her number and then we go on a date i'm like what the hell i did 40 approaches in one weekend did you get an la lakers phone number yeah one on a date one on a date okay
Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach Conal Barrett. I am here to help you flirt with confidence, get more dates, know exactly what to say, how to talk to women, and get a great girlfriend. And do it by being authentic. No sketchy pickup nonsense needed. This is about dating with authenticity, with vulnerability, with integrity. Because guess what?
Women like you for you. They really do. And today's a really special episode because I'm going to pull the curtain back on what I do as a dating coach. You're going to be able to listen in on a coaching session I did with my incredible client, Jason. Jason is a great guy. He lives in Southern California. He used to live in New York. He's now in SoCal. And he's now in LA.
And he and I have been working together for a little while. He first came to me, he was dealing with two big problems. He had really bad approach anxiety. He could not walk up to a woman and talk to her in any kind of flirtatious way. He has now done it many, many times. In the episode you're about to listen to, he talks about approaching an LA Lakers cheerleader and getting her number.
Those are the moments that make me so happy to be a coach. It's like, hey, Connell, I got a date with an LA Lakers cheerleader. I'm like, oh my God, that's priceless to me. He was also struggling with how to talk to women. Like what the heck do you say on a date or what the heck do you say when you approach a woman? And here's a really quick story.
And then we'll get to the episode and you can hear me coaching Jason and There's some really good tips in here for Jason and, of course, for you about how to text women, how often to text women, how to message them, how to approach, what to say, what not to say. But I want to tell a really quick story about Jason. So I do in-person coaching in New York City and sometimes in Los Angeles.
I go out for a whole weekend. I call it the wingman weekend, where we go out for a weekend and I'm literally... your coach side by side, shoulder to shoulder with you, helping you approach women and doing demonstrations for you and helping you get numbers and dates. That's what I do in person. That's my favorite kind of coaching to do. It's super personalized, super one-on-one.
And I was doing that with Jason a while back and he had this fantastic breakthrough because what Jason was struggling with at the time was, what do I say? When I walk up, I don't know what to say. And he was trying to think of the perfect thing to say. He had this really high bar for how good he thought his approach opener had to be. And so we were out together doing our wingman weekend.
We're at a bar in New York City called Gem. It's a really lively place filled with tons of really attractive women and men. And I was his wingman for the night. And he saw two women standing there. next to the bar. And he said, I don't know what to say, Connell. What do I do? So I gave him one of my favorite exercises.
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Chapter 2: Who is Connell Barrett and what is his dating philosophy?
It just feels like when I wake up some days, like it just resets no matter how much success or how much I'm starting to love the process. My brain just resets. Like, you know, the approach anxiety on one given day may not feel that strongly on a Monday, but then a Tuesday it's like overpowering compared to the day before. Okay.
That makes sense. Here's a quick callback story that you might remember. Do you remember a night we went out a while back? This was when you were in New York. And you were out with me with a couple of my other clients that were at a bar. And you were really in your head about how to start conversations, like what to say, how to say it. You're like, what do I say? What do I say?
What's the right thing to say? And you felt, I could see that the anxiety was pushing back against you. You didn't really want to go approach girls. At least you wanted to know what to say. And I gave you a line, quote unquote, to use that night, which was, to literally say exactly what you were thinking in that moment.
And there were two really cute girls, and you walked up to one of them, and I believe I had you say, oh, hey, what's up? I'm Jason, and I don't know what to say to you. Yeah. And then five, 10 minutes later, you were making out with one of them, right? Yep. Yep. I remember this. I believe it was the Gem Saloon. Okay. Got it.
Yeah.
Fair to say that 10 minutes later, when you were locking lips with this girl you had just met, approaching felt a lot better to you than it did 10 minutes earlier? Correct. Right. So the way you feel in a given moment is just sort of a snapshot of your emotional state. And also the story you're telling yourself at the moment.
And what I would like you to do if you have those moments of, oh, man, I'm not motivated. Why bother? I don't even want to go out and take action. That can change as soon as you start taking the action. And who knows? You might get a really cute girl's number or get a really fast makeout like you did that night. And then you're going to be feeling very differently.
But if you say, well, I don't really... If you say, I'm only going to go out and approach women when I feel like it or when I'm in the zone, then how often are you going to feel like you're in the zone and really feel like it? Maybe rarely or maybe not for a while. And then you lose momentum and you get stuck in sort of a vicious cycle of...
avoiding action that you know you should take, but it's uncomfortable for you. So the reason I told you that or reminded you of that story that I observed, which was so inspiring, watching you walk up to those girls and just lean into how you were feeling in that moment. You didn't have a cool witty line. You just said, hey, I don't know what to say. What's up? I'm Jason.
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