Bunnie welcomes Tonesa Welch, also known as the First Lady of BMF. Tonesa shares her journey from growing up in Detroit to her rise in the drug trade, her relationship with H, and how she got through abuse and betrayal to come out on the other side. Tonesa opens up to Bunnie about what she learned from her time in prison and her passion for prison reform advocacy and gets raw about navigating grief along the way.Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: Who is Tonesa Welch and what is her story?
is this thing on bonnie who used to be a former sex worker and now hosts the podcast dumb blonde most little girls grow up wanting to be doctors and lawyers and shit and i was like i want to be super hot make a lot of fucking money and be a rock star's wife that was my goal as a child and here we are
What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Today, I am really excited about this podcast, especially because we're doing it during Mob Wife March, but this is something a little different, someone who has a different story, but it's so amazing, and it's so cool, and I just really admire this woman.
She's a motivational speaker, producer, and director, survivor, mother, boss, and the first lady of BMF, Miss Tonisa Welch. Thanks.
you did I do okay thank you I'm so happy to have you here thank you thanks for it I'm honored thanks for having me thanks for asking me to be here you're beautiful oh so are you you walked in I was like she is so cute she's sort of like this tiny little package like you are just so cute thank you
So, OK, so for people who don't know who you are, you are the first lady of BMF. And I don't know if anybody that listens to my podcast is a BMF fan. I'm sure they are. I know my husband is. Jelly is a BMF fan. Like he has made me watch every season and all that stuff. But.
besides that show there's a real story behind that TV show and it's your story and it's your story to tell and that's why I want you on the podcast so we're gonna start from like the very beginning did Detroit baby right so where did you grow up I had to grew up in Detroit Michigan on the west side of Detroit you know middle-class family
Grew up with my three brothers, my mom and my stepdad. Normal, middle-class family. Hey. Yeah. Didn't think that enough. Just, hey, living that normal, innocent life, you know? Yes.
Yeah.
Never any drugs, sex, and rock and roll.
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Chapter 2: How did Tonesa Welch get involved in the drug trade?
Come from a household, my mom was adopted, but still the sweetest mother ever. Once she got her children, no drugs in the house, no violence, none of that. I seen, you know, everything seemed pretty normal. What happened to me? I don't know.
You know, I completely understand it because I was very attracted to the street life, too. I ran away from home at 14 and started supporting myself. So your story really resonated with me because, you know, we both kind of came from similar backgrounds. And then just to go out and live completely opposite of how we were raised is wild. But sometimes we just have a journey to fulfill.
And that's why we came here, you know. So moving on from that, I think you got pregnant around 18. Can you take me on that journey? I got pregnant at 18.
I had my first son at 19, and that was from my high school. Well, my high school sweetheart, well, he's out of school. But we started dating when I was 15 years old. He was in his last year of high school, and then he was my boyfriend from then on.
college kid, smart, never got into trouble, anything, you know, just say, yeah, I just knew I was attracted to this older boy and he got out of school and he would still come pick me up after school, but dated him all through high school.
oh and then you guys ended up having a baby together which is your first son he went on to college followed him for a minute and then yeah yeah and then she was like no i'm gonna do my do my thug puzzle yeah and then what is your oldest son's name i forget marlon marlon okay and then so take me on this journey of when you were 19 you went to what was the name of the club The Rooster Tail.
The Rooster Tail, which was like a popular venue. It was a popular venue in Detroit, but it was popular for more of the people on the east side of Detroit. I don't know if you have any viewers that's from Detroit and know about the east side versus the west side, but it was an east side club. And I was 19 years old, had never been to a club like that. I don't think I ever went to a club.
That was probably my first time going to a club. Yes. And I went near him. It was like I went and I always say like a revolving door. You know how you go through a revolving door? I felt like my whole when I reflect on my life, I think about, wow, you went in as one person, but once you the night ended, you came out as a different person. The way I seen things. And why do you think that was?
Was it just like the glitz and the glamour? It was the glitz and the glamour. It was beautiful, you know. In my eyes, it was beautiful. Might not have been right, but to me, it was beautiful. The people looked amazing, you know. I was this girl from, like I said, the west side of Detroit. Grew up, went to high school, dated one guy all the way through high school. It was a different world to me.
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Chapter 3: What was Tonesa's relationship with Harold like?
Yeah. So he's buying you all these gifts. You guys officially are together. What happens after you guys get together?
Oh, we just felt like it was just a whirlwind romance. And we, you know, I'm excited about his lifestyle. I'm excited about the people that he's hanging with. I'm doing that now. I had started, like, the shopping, the cars, you know, the trips and things like that. And then after that, I wanted to become a part of his world. Whatever he was doing, I wanted to be a part of that.
When you talk about his lifestyle, what do you mean? He was into selling drugs, you know.
What was he selling? Heroin?
Heroin at first, and then it became cocaine. Yeah.
isn't it wild to think back um because i too dated you know drug dealers back in the day and um you're around all of these drugs at such a young age you're touching them you're literally inhaling the fumes packaging them and it's like you are so we have like not a care in the world at that age i won't even be in the same room as drugs now Now I don't want to be around the same type of people.
But then it was the excitement.
It was like... The naiveness, I guess.
Yeah, because I think of the laws now. I do a lot about into prison reform, understanding the laws and things. And I'll be like, God, I could have been one of those people. that got caught up and still would have been in prison because it is people that I know that we're fighting for now that been in prison for 30 years has done less than me.
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Chapter 4: How did Tonesa Welch end up in an abusive relationship?
Him. But it wasn't best for me. Right. You know, and after that, after I understood it, we talked about it. Then, you know, as I grew, you know, until he... we grew closer. So I had two amazing dads that even once we all got together, they became good friends. You know what I mean? Even when I went to prison, My biological dad didn't understand the whole lifestyle.
And so we didn't tell him I was going to prison, but he got very ill when I was in prison. And my stepdad was the one that made sure that he wouldn't check on him all the time to let me know what was going on. So when I would call home... You know, if I don't know if anybody know about the prison phones, they say this whole recording.
Right.
So I had my nephew on the other side with my biological dad. My dad, he's got the phone, and they're like, okay. Once the recording said this call is from an inmate of such and such, they would have my biological dad, the phone, who was very ill at this time, to let me say what I had to say until the day he died. He still didn't know I was in prison.
oh my gosh he didn't even realize that he went into the dementia and then he uh passed away before i came home that had to have been as heartbreaking as it was very heartbreaking i wasn't able to uh go home to his burial you know that was heartbreaking that was another breaking point for me as realizing like you put yourself here you didn't get to see you know And pass away.
Those are the moments that when you're in prison yet you realize hey, you gotta do something about this Yeah, and I had a Prison counselor and I have to tell this story. It was um, I went I was I was called out custody So at the end of my prison term I could go out and work in the you know in the city the round surrounding city so it's called out custody and
So when they told me that my father had passed, the chaplain had came and told my father had passed. And he told me I was able, you know, I could go home to the funeral, but I had to go make the arrangements with my counselor. I had a hard time with my counselor.
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Chapter 5: How did Tonesa Welch's life change after Harold's imprisonment?
So I'm grooming him to be not this little boy anymore, this young man, because by the time we started our relationship, I think he was about 20, he was like 25. He was just my friend at first. But I'm telling him like, you gotta dress like this, you gotta do like this, you gotta hang, you gotta do. You're gaming him up. I'm really, you know, I am gaming him up.
And I think that was a little jealousy there. And so he felt like I was taking his brother and now he doesn't have the control. Now we're doing everything, you know. This has become my friend and they're not together anymore, so. I think it was a lot of jealousy in that. I mean, with the whole family, he's no longer running over there. He's hanging over here with me and my people. Gotcha.
So the business is taking off. You guys are making money hand over fist. You're getting to lay up and, you know, be mama bear to the babies and just live the life. And life is really good for a while there. And then you, Terry starts showing signs of kind of like getting a little too big for his britches. And you're saying, hey.
Hey.
Yeah. Take me on this part of the journey.
Yeah. I mean, you know, if you've been around, I've been around a long time. You know, when we first started this conversation, I was young. I was 19, 20 years old. So I had been to this road. I've been on this rodeo.
long time you know I've already seen so many people fall but the bigger they got the more the Eagles and the things they were doing it was like I had never seen like I've been in a game so I never seen people to show people like hey it was like they were writing it on their shirts and wearing t-shirt we are drug dealers
Because they had named themselves BMF, correct? And it was like the chains.
Yeah, but the BMF came because they did legitimately want to start a record label. But the way that they went about, Meech went about doing a record label, you're selling, don't forget you're doing illegal things. And you can't be out there thinking like, first get the company, start the company. Right.
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Chapter 6: How did Tonesa Welch help Terry 'Southwest T' Flenory rise in BMF?
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The women, he was just crazy. It's like you built this person up and you're thinking this person is loving you. You're taking everything that I've given you and you take it and you're about to have a baby now. You know, and then you dating somebody that's very close to me. Like if you listen, I wrote this poem. How could you do this to me? You were like my sister. But it was them two.
He was in a relationship that somebody I raised. So you were looking at her as a child and I raised her. So you end up dating her. And on these wiretaps, you're saying that you're leaving me. Then you have another woman that she's pregnant by you. And the other woman he's pregnant by, you win. I'm thinking of myself like, you know, you build yourself. You have a class about yourself.
And some reason men go find, where'd you go find this woman? Like, you don't.
you know what I'm saying and you don't want to think like you know but it makes you it it and then the thought of it made me angry like these go get you a bad bitch like you know and then you have you begging like literally begging her to have she wanted she was saying I'm getting a boy and he's on there talking about you better not get rid of my baby I'm like well what y'all gonna do with me
When you tell me what am I supposed to do, you already dating this child I look at as a child. You taking the hard-earned money that I gave you because when I got you, your child's mother lived in the worst part of the neighborhood. And I'm like, help her get out the neighborhood. Put your kids in a private school. Do better. Be a better father. I'm sharing my money. I'm sharing this with you.
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