Tonesa Welch
Appearances
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And I knew that they would spend the money. And to me back then, we were the wealthier side of it. Michigan or Detroit, even though it might not been because you do have some amazing Eastside beautiful pockets and beautiful homes. But it always seemed like to me the Westside was the more people that had the money, you know. And so I said, let's go over here.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Um, you know, uh, I'm really can't remember like, you know, it was later on the more power, the more drugs, the more money, then the more violence, you know? Um,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
and just started happening you know and you when you look back and be like wow this is you know you thought it was one time and then you look up it's you know as repeatedly as happened more and more often you know you think it's like okay maybe he was high or maybe he was frustrated or maybe something was going on but later on in life i realized that you know this is how he grew up and now he's he's a grown man taking out
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
what happened to him on me, you know? It was a cycle. It was a cycle. And I was, you know, you stay, you think you're going to try to fix this person, or you think because they make you feel like, I love you, nobody else loves you, I take care of you. You know, I felt like I can't go anywhere if I left, that he probably would kill me or do something, you know, because it got to that point.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, it got to the point where I'm like, why am I doing this? Because I always knew I was a strong person, and I don't know what it was about him that in the beginning I allowed it or why was I, you know, fearing him. And I thought about it. I'm like, okay. Okay. That's enough. You have these sons around here. They're watching this. You have to protect yourself.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I'm out here protecting everybody else watching his back. You've got to protect yourself. So I really waited. I knew he was going to come home this one time, and I said, okay, I'm going to prepare myself. You know, I had in my mind, I thought like, I'm going to kill him tonight. I didn't think about the consequences of it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I just knew that he was going to come home and that was going to be the last time he put his hands on me. And so it happened exactly like I thought he was going to come home. He was gone, you know be violent jump on me and I had already put the knife under my pillow and I just waited I pretended I would sleep and I waited and that's when I stabbed him.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I really I Really wanted to like I said, I really wanted to kill him. I was fed up, you know I'm glad I didn't because even when they arrested me and I went to the county jail and And that's back then that was when the person had to press charges on you for the, for it to stick. So he didn't press charges.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
But I realized when I was in a county jail and the officers were saying, you better, bitch, you better hope not. I'm sorry. But they were saying, bitch, you better hope you didn't kill him. You better hope you didn't kill him. And as I'm laying in my bunk, I thought about it. Why don't you just leave? Why don't you just leave? What if he is dead? Because I didn't know what happened.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I knew the police came. They took him away, but you don't hear anything else. And I said, what if he dies? I won't get to see my kids anymore. You know, so that kind of, that really scared me. That really had affected me for a while. It's traumatic too that you got pushed to that point. Yeah, why, you know, why did I let myself go wrong?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Yeah, we had three. I have two. Yeah, we had three. And I'm sitting there like, why am I allowing this? And then why did you get to the point where you have to kill a person before you decide to leave? I had plotted it out like, oh, he's going to die tonight. I think I told my friends, oh, he's going to die tonight. And I didn't have the kind of friends who would say, oh girl, don't do that.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You just need to leave. You gotta love our girls. You need me to help? You need me to come over? I mean, it was so many things that happened in our lives. He would blow up my car. I would go blow up his car. It was just getting to the point of craziness. Tip or tie. Tip or tie. And I had the friends, type of friends that wouldn't say at that point in time, just leave. You don't have to take this.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You out here, you selling more than he can sell. You doing your own thing. Matter of fact, you doing more. And that could have been happening too. You know, you had these men that get very insecure and jealous of your power also. He didn't have no more control over me. And once a man started thinking... they're losing control. What do they do? You know, they do things like that.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And I think all of that played a part. I was becoming more popular on the West side. People were, I was getting a lot of attention. I wasn't looking like this 19 year old girl anymore. I'm looking like this pretty fabulous stylist grown woman. I'm wearing, you know, these clothes, these jewels I'm looking, I'm having the power to, and I think we,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
mean it you really mean it in your heart get to that point where you're just like i don't care what the consequences are you're not going to hurt me anymore right like i said it wasn't until i was laying in that cell in that county jail thinking about it like wow if you go to prison you're gonna go to prison for the rest of your life because
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Back then, we didn't have the laws that we have in place for women now. We've become where we're victims. So many women were getting locked up. They didn't know anything about self-defense or anything like that. They think, oh, you should have left. You stayed there. They think of it as you premeditated it. But sometimes it happens in the instinct. You're just like, oh.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Like I got this is the only way I can get out. Yeah. You know, I work in domestic violence with a lot of women and they feel like there's no way out. And I've been there. I was younger and I thought it was no way out. How can I get out of this? He's always going to find me. If you watch in the movie, they didn't show a lot of it. He will always, always come find me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
no matter where i was at by and it was like that all the time you know just moving moving moving then here he come here he come then i'm back you know i'm back in that cycle because then you get addicted to the toxicity i guess or the fighting or you feel like you know it's the oxytocin yeah whenever you guys do get all it's it becomes like a drug it does and you think in your head this person really loves me
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Yeah. And the movie, it looks like we, we got right back together, but it was a minute, you know, um, that let's just say they just wear you down where we'll wear you down. These kids, I love my kids and he's crying and you feel like I got to say this person too, you know, like I felt you feel in the back of your head that he has nobody but you, you know,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I understood, you know, by him talking to me all the time, how he grew up. I didn't grow up like that. So I'm like, somebody got to love this little man. Maybe me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
But really, it was like I always say it was like it was somewhere. And as a little young girl that I was damaged somewhere, you know, I was dealing with a lot of issues that I didn't understand that. you know, that I felt like I needed to stay there. You know, I didn't never, like I said, never seen my parents do this. So what made me feel like I had to save this person?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
father and you know as we grow older we do fit fine at all it's probably the wounds the warning not the love trauma bond yeah trauma bonding not thinking like I knew my um stepdad was I thought he was just the meanest person ever to me but I think as I grew older and understood he was always trying to protect me always and I thought I don't want to be protected I don't want to do this
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Right. Yeah. So I didn't have the relationship with my biological dad until I was much older. Actually, they show it in the movie, and it was probably at that point, you know, I was much older. And my mom like, you know, maybe this is the missing part.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Because it was a question. Why? Why didn't you come see me? Why didn't you love me? And he was like, he thought it was best once my mom married my stepdad because they got together when I was a baby and he thought it was best. But I'm thinking like, no, you thought it was best for you.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Him. But it wasn't best for me. Right. You know, and after that, after I understood it, we talked about it. Then, you know, as I grew, you know, until he... we grew closer. So I had two amazing dads that even once we all got together, they became good friends. You know what I mean? Even when I went to prison, My biological dad didn't understand the whole lifestyle.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And so we didn't tell him I was going to prison, but he got very ill when I was in prison. And my stepdad was the one that made sure that he wouldn't check on him all the time to let me know what was going on. So when I would call home... You know, if I don't know if anybody know about the prison phones, they say this whole recording.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
So I had my nephew on the other side with my biological dad. My dad, he's got the phone, and they're like, okay. Once the recording said this call is from an inmate of such and such, they would have my biological dad, the phone, who was very ill at this time, to let me say what I had to say until the day he died. He still didn't know I was in prison.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
oh my gosh he didn't even realize that he went into the dementia and then he uh passed away before i came home that had to have been as heartbreaking as it was very heartbreaking i wasn't able to uh go home to his burial you know that was heartbreaking that was another breaking point for me as realizing like you put yourself here you didn't get to see you know And pass away.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Those are the moments that when you're in prison yet you realize hey, you gotta do something about this Yeah, and I had a Prison counselor and I have to tell this story. It was um, I went I was I was called out custody So at the end of my prison term I could go out and work in the you know in the city the round surrounding city so it's called out custody and
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
So when they told me that my father had passed, the chaplain had came and told my father had passed. And he told me I was able, you know, I could go home to the funeral, but I had to go make the arrangements with my counselor. I had a hard time with my counselor.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Um, so when I went to tell, I said, Hey, I know you heard that my dad died. I want to go home to the funeral, go to the funeral. She said, can I curse?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
No, we caused up a storm here. Fuck you, bitch. Fuck your family, fuck your dad, fuck your mama, and fuck your motherfucking kids. You shouldn't have came to prison, bitch. Now get the fuck out my office. And this woman is a counselor? A counselor in the prison. When I first went to this prison, I went to two different prisons. Yeah. And you think, OK, I'm here to be a rehabilitative.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
But she gave me such a hard time when I first went on the prison grounds. I was walking a yard. It's called the yard, you know, trying to just figure out like what's going on in my world here. And one of the guards came up to me, said, you're new here. Right. And I said, yeah. So you don't have a hard time.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, I didn't have a fear of the women that wasn't, you know, I had been in the streets forever. So I'm not scared of the women. I've been in more danger than this. I can handle this. And he said, no, you're going to, he said, who's your counselor? I told him, I said, her name is Ms. Stockings. I reached out to her since I've been home and just to ask her why.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And he says, she's going to give you a hard time. You're a nice looking woman and she's going to give you a hard time. And when I tell you, the last part of my bit was the hardest time of my life. By her saying that, that was almost coming home, but I had to deal with her for like 18 months straight. Taking my visits, taking my commissary, taking my phone calls. It was just madness all the time.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Oh no, it was, it was the heart. And I used to pray all the time. I met an older lady had did. And by the time we met, she had already been down like 20 something years. And she would always tell me, she said, don't let her see you cry. Don't let her see you break. I'm like, I'm not going to cry. That's what I'm not going to do. But she's like, whatever you do.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And so every time something would happen, she was like, let's go in the yard. And she would walk and pray with me. Like, you're going to get through this. You're going to get through this. But every day, can you imagine like, oh, I'm not going to make it through this. I'm not going to make it through this. I don't make it through the battles of the street. Right.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
But here I come here and I'm feeling like you've got to fight your way through it every day. You know, not even a good night's sleep because you don't know when you're going to become. She's going to come wake you up out of your sleep or you have. I have sons who she took away my phone privileges. I can't even call home to see how they're doing.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And that was, all through that, it was just my breaking point. Like, you know what? I'll never, ever, ever put myself in this predicament again in life.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Went to Texas. Well, Chicago first, then Texas. Yeah. And then he got caught up. Right. And when he got caught up, it was...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
me left to here been for myself you know it was decide if you want to what do you want to do if you want to stay you know you want to go to work or you want to continue on doing what you were doing by this time I'm addicted to the lifestyle I'm addicted to the money and all of it but you know the like you say the power of it the people looking at me and ask you know they have to come you know everybody has to come to me and get things and ask me for things and do this so I'm like I want to do this so you
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You go on and handle that. He's like, no, I want to. I'm like, I got this. I got this.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Those people were Southwest Tea and Demetrius Finley. You know them as the leaders of the BMF. And as for your listeners that don't know, you can go back and relate to the music, like with Rick Ross, I Wish I Was Big Meat. Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Yeah, blowing money fast. You know, all the rap music that's surrounded around the two brothers. So, yeah, he brought them around. And because the business was expanding, and it was like, okay, we can't do this all alone. And then we already had some people, but you still have to bring in more people as the business is expanding. And so he told me, he said, hey, I met these two young guys.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, I'm going to bring them around. You see what you think. I said, okay. So we set up a meeting point, and that's when I first met them.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I just thought they were young kids. You know, I'm nine years older than him. And when I looked at him, I was just like, okay, group of young kids he's bringing in to work, you know. not like they're juvenile, but they were, I think Terry's like 18, 19, something like that. And I didn't think nothing of it. I just like, oh, okay.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, introduction, look for a minute, you know, um, say, all right. And I just didn't think nothing of it. And they continued to work, um, Around us and Terry was around us a lot more than Demetrius was the big niche was. And so that's why when me and him, Terry, I mean, let's say eight shoes always have Terry like watch her back.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
do this and so we became like he was my confidant he was the person that if i'm always you know you always gotta complain you're always talking about something you're always complaining about i'm always complaining about h so he was there the person that was there to listen and you guys developed a friendship we developed a friendship a closer friendship than h knew about so right yeah so h goes away for seven years but he doesn't leave you with much money
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Well, I don't know. That's not that I don't want people to say. H is a type of person. He has a lot of money, but he's not going to leave you enough that you could just latch. Be squandered.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I was good in a way. I still just wanted my own, you know, I wanted my own. I wanted to be independent because I knew once he wants to be free, just that's what I was going to say, just to be free because I knew like it took him about a year or so before he was sentenced and he had to go away. I knew once he went away that this was going to be the end of us. And it helped me break away from him.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I had already knew that when he come home from prison that I was going to be on my own away from him. I didn't know I was going to develop this romantic relationship with Terry, but I knew I wasn't going to be back with my ex-husband who was H. Right.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I just wanted to do my own. I just wanted to be independent. I just felt like I could. I felt like he was holding me back.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
you did I do okay thank you I'm so happy to have you here thank you thanks for it I'm honored thanks for having me thanks for asking me to be here you're beautiful oh so are you you walked in I was like she is so cute she's sort of like this tiny little package like you are just so cute thank you
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
It's weird that you said you'd be upset like, oh my God, he's gone to prison. I feel bad. I'm like, you know, you're soaking at a minute. I'm like, what is going on with you?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And you realize who you are, you know, you just kind of holding me back.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Just out there like a free bird, like air. I was hanging, you know, just everywhere. I was traveling. I was just out, you know, at the clubs. I was, you know, me and my girls, we were just mobbing out as they call it. We thought we were the baddest. Couldn't tell us nothing. Those were the best times of life, though. Yeah, it was the best. You're invincible. Yes. And that's how we felt.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And like you said, you feel free. You don't have nobody to answer to anymore. You know, I'm the boss now. I can do what I want to do. And Terry was always kind of somewhere in the back, you know, somewhere in the back, you know, kind of watching or, you know, or mingling with us if you
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
want to say but it was never a thought of me being romantic with them like I say it was younger and then as time went on that happened later on in life now how they have it in the BMF stars movie you know I was very upset about that because why would you know you put me in a movie like he's a kid, like he's in high school.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I'm chasing behind this high school kid because I had already developed myself as a boss. I was dating a boss. Why would I chase a high school? I guess women do it, but not I, not me. Having me having sex at my job or around my children with this kid who's still carrying around his school books.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
right you just feel like you deserved more respect just more respect why didn't why couldn't you you know you know if you didn't want me involved in your story i get that okay i understand but don't do me like that give me some type of respect because no matter what when i tell my story and i talk about them i give them respect i can only tell the story how it happened
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
It wouldn't be truthful if I didn't tell you how I met them. I'm sorry that you met me under my ex-husband. That's how I met you. I can't tell the story any different. Then it wouldn't be truthful. It wouldn't be my story. It wouldn't be the way I seen it. I lived through it. So the way I lived through it, that's how I met you guys. I wasn't a person that was chasing this kid.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And like always, what I said now is I was already the kid. Like, you know how your beautiful truck outside, you know, when you pull it up, it's already you. It's already fancy. I felt like when they met me, I was already that person. So you didn't have to tear your meat. You didn't have to develop who I already was. I was already you.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
you know in the streets doing my thing when I came around I was already with the jewels the furs the cars the homes so when I tell the story like tell it the way it is don't make me or my ex-husband which is my children's father I'm sorry look bad because he never speaks on them they put him in the movie and made him look so bad they put me in the movie and I felt when she's
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Yeah, but that's how it happened. So in one day, you know, he's under me, and I don't know what I was going through. Maybe...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Like the wizard of Oz, you know, behind the curtain, but it's like, you just have no fear when you're that age. And
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
it's none and I think back sometimes I had so much drugs or was around so much drugs and I think like when I reflect back like girl you could have never came home I would never been sitting on this couch yeah you know uh if I had got caught with the things I had yeah you know and why did like you said no fear of
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
The people we surrounded ourselves with, I wanted to be, they look, no, they don't look dangerous enough. I need to go over here, you know. I wanted to be with the risk takers, you know. Every time you got away with something, you felt even better. It's a rush. It's a rush, like a drug rush or something. I'm like, whoa, okay. We can do that again.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
All the time while you're doing it, your heart's about out here. And then like, okay, did that. Then there goes your ego, bigger and bigger. Now I'm feeling more powerful than a man her age. I can do this. I can do this on my own. I don't need nobody. And that's how I started feeling.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
It was like, you know, they, like, they, it was like, why, you know, I had all this money. I had been with this man who has all this money. And even when he went to prison, he still had money. And I couldn't understand. Y'all, you know, like, Terry, you've been in this life for a long time. By this time, I'm knowing you about five, about seven years. Where's the stability?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, what's going on? You were up, down, up, down. He never had, they never had, like, a bond. abundance of drugs. They never had a great plug. That's what I would call it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You watched the movie. There's a reason for that. And so I looked at him. He was there. And I was like, God, you know, this was all the time. And I was talking to him. I was like, I don't know. I just can't get it together. And I'm sitting here trying to always groom this person. I didn't realize that I'm grooming him. And one day you wanted to make him a boss. I wanted to make he was my friend.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You're with me. I had this special love for him, you know, not the romantic love yet. And I wanted him, you know, I felt like this is my friend. This is my dog. We always riding together. We hanging. I wanted him to be on the level I was, you know. And so I said, I got to help you. Like, tell me what it is, you know. So I said, I'm going to help you. I'm going to help you get it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And then once you get it, you better keep it. You know, I did tell him, I said, and I forgot I had said this. I don't know why I said it. You know, I felt like a millionaire. I felt like, you know, nature's a millionaire. So I'm going to help you be a millionaire. And I said, I want you to change.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Grew up with my three brothers, my mom and my stepdad. Normal, middle-class family. Hey. Yeah. Didn't think that enough. Just, hey, living that normal, innocent life, you know? Yes.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
don't change for the money stay as you know stay as you are but I'm gonna help you become a millionaire and that's what happened you know I gave him a plug you work it you do this you know kind of like was you know he was really listening and it was working um and then it just took off and one day it just took off and he was like you could sit back now and I'm like whoo
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Well, for me, because I was tired. You get like, yeah, I'm tired. You know, sometimes you be because you always think like that day might come. You know, I have been around. I'm watching so many other people go down and I'm always, you know, just there, you know, getting by, getting by, you know, and I'm like, OK, you got to quit this one day. You got to get it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
you know my boys are getting older you gotta quit this and when he said it was like a sign of relief he can take over not like who and then you obviously trusted him oh yeah like you thought he was capable of being able to i knew he was i knew tear was very smart you know and i knew he was capable of it but i think he had so much so many other responsibilities
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
In the movie, they make it seem like Meech was the most powerful one, but actually it was Terry. And Terry was actually carrying on that burden for him and Meech. So I think that was when you don't have enough drugs. It's kind of hard to be sharing with somebody, you know, I'm going to make this money and I got to share, you know, this little bit with you.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And I think that was the thing that they could never get it going, you know. And so once he started getting the supply, the bigger supply, he brought me in. Now we can really work. We can keep moving. We can push better. And then from there, once you start meeting one connect, it's kind of like clickish. You know, everybody knows.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, like you said, everything is a click to me, from the police to attorneys, drug dealers, pimps. And everybody kind of whisper and knows. So once you're selling so much weight that goes to the next connect, they hear about you. A word on the street, I hear you take it to the next city. Your name is already ringing. His name started ringing in that circle.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And then they took it on to the next level, to the next level, to the next level.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, it was on and off. But I believe that when, you know, and I'm not afraid to say it. At this point, I used to didn't. I believe it was a lot of jealousy, you know, because he had this little, Terry was the younger brother. Then he, Terry is, now Terry's not under him anymore. Terry is spreading his wings. Terry's with this older woman. and they couldn't believe it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Come from a household, my mom was adopted, but still the sweetest mother ever. Once she got her children, no drugs in the house, no violence, none of that. I seen, you know, everything seemed pretty normal. What happened to me? I don't know.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
So I'm grooming him to be not this little boy anymore, this young man, because by the time we started our relationship, I think he was about 20, he was like 25. He was just my friend at first. But I'm telling him like, you gotta dress like this, you gotta do like this, you gotta hang, you gotta do. You're gaming him up. I'm really, you know, I am gaming him up.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And I think that was a little jealousy there. And so he felt like I was taking his brother and now he doesn't have the control. Now we're doing everything, you know. This has become my friend and they're not together anymore, so. I think it was a lot of jealousy in that. I mean, with the whole family, he's no longer running over there. He's hanging over here with me and my people. Gotcha.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Yeah. I mean, you know, if you've been around, I've been around a long time. You know, when we first started this conversation, I was young. I was 19, 20 years old. So I had been to this road. I've been on this rodeo.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
long time you know I've already seen so many people fall but the bigger they got the more the Eagles and the things they were doing it was like I had never seen like I've been in a game so I never seen people to show people like hey it was like they were writing it on their shirts and wearing t-shirt we are drug dealers
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Yeah, but the BMF came because they did legitimately want to start a record label. But the way that they went about, Meech went about doing a record label, you're selling, don't forget you're doing illegal things. And you can't be out there thinking like, first get the company, start the company. Right.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
and then you can do whatever you wanna do, but you can't mix the two, and it was always, everything had to be over the top. And that grew, that started a lot of tension, and that's when me and Terry started that, because I'm like, you guys gonna get me indicted, you gonna get me indicted, you guys gonna get me indicted.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And I would say it like all the time, and so I don't know if I manifested that, but in my mind, I knew it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And no matter how many times I could have a good time, But after the good time, I go right back to it. This is going to end soon. This is going to end soon. And it's fast. They always say it was a long time. You know, the longest running BMF wasn't. BMF with them started like in 2002. And by 2005, we were indicted. 2001 too. And we were indicted.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And all those times, I don't even know how it lasted that long because I had already felt like they were doing too much. And I was very quiet.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
like even when um people from my hometown didn't know they always thought that i'm getting taken care of by the man they didn't know that i was doing my own thing so in the back in the shadows even when the prosecutor and you know indicted me she said oh i know about you you know i know about you you think you you think you don't got away with some stuff this time she's like but i'm gonna get you i'm gonna get you like
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I ain't did no sugar. You know, you can't get me because I had already, you know, pulled back about time they started. It was a little, it was a lot for me. But when I sit back and look at the whole thing, I had jumped into the fire, into the fire pan because I had left age. and jumped into this and never really pulling back. And I was just moving.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I was damaged by this time already, just damaged, not really fixing who I was. You know, you got to think you're already out of this abusive relationship. You didn't fix yourself. You just jumped into another mixed up, crazy, toxic world. And that's what I was just always on that rollercoaster, always on that rollercoaster.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
so that's what happened it was like was this the time that he had brought your children in to start working for him it was my oldest son my three nephews and my cousin they all got involved in it and at the time i said when i when i pushed back my son was in detroit we were in los angeles by this time and i didn't know like why i'm thinking like tears don't go back to detroit
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You go back to Detroit, you're going to get in trouble. You're going to get us indicted. Don't go back to Detroit. Look, you know, just keep that behind you. Act like it no longer exists, you know, in that world for you. But my oldest son, he always was very close to my mom, and he thought he was the prince of Detroit. So he did that. He didn't want to come like to LA like that.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
So Terry and I'm had a their whole secret relationship Terry was bringing in my whole family in which even after you told him not not to Don't get my family involved I had the whole conversations with my sons and my nephew. Don't get involved in this. And, you know, it's still even though he brought him in, I still felt a lot, you know, responsible for it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, I held a lot of regret even when I went to prison and they went to prison because I feel like I still even though without Terry. I still myself was in the streets. So even if me and Terry hadn't gotten together, that was my life. After Harold went to prison, my ex-husband went to prison, the streets was still my life.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
No matter if I had the little job, side job, you know, thinking I'm throwing people off. After work, before work, the streets was my job. That's what I did. That's the only thing they knew.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
yeah i made it appealing you know i said if i was a doctor a lawyer attorney or something maybe that that wouldn't have been so appealing to them right but i made it so easy the money was easy they wanted that power and ego too and they fell right into that hole with me so even though i can be upset with him i still have to take the responsibility for myself like look lady
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
no matter who you would have been with or what, you were still doing your thing and you showed them that it was easy. No matter how much you fought for them not to be in it, you still showed them that this was the life and I made it look easy.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
that's heavy that's heavy it's a heavy cross to bear because it's like yeah you know you want to have accountability but you also want to be able to point fingers at Terry yeah wanted to but you still have to understand that you know you chose this life too you brought them in at a younger young age you know Terry wasn't the first one my ex-husband was you know a street guy so what would I expect you know it's
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
It's like 70% of women that are in the streets or incarcerated, 70% of your offsprings, one of them are gonna end up in prison. Wow.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I had my first son at 19, and that was from my high school. Well, my high school sweetheart, well, he's out of school. But we started dating when I was 15 years old. He was in his last year of high school, and then he was my boyfriend from then on.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
and um not that i trust him before i just knew him right no matter how i said oh he's trying to uh catch up with me so i wouldn't tell anybody when i would come back to detroit but i had a couple of friends that i were very close to and um my one friend she uh always like when you come to detroit let me know let me know let me know and i knew you know something told me all the time why she
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You don't want to see me that bad, you know, but I just, I felt it in my soul and in my spirit. It was telling me now something off, but I told her, okay, I did it at first. I told her, okay. And I did show up, you know, she invited me out, you know, and, um, her and Harold had this secret relationship. My ex-husband went for the viewers, you know, they had this secret relationship, um,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
But he did it, you know, after we talked about it, he did it because of that. He was, that's the way he was trying to get back at me. He was gonna, he was gonna date my friends. He was gonna date, he was gonna date Terry's ex-baby mama. But he was like, nah, he tried that and looked at her like, I can't do that. He can't, I can't see how he did it. But yeah. The shade. The shade, right? Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
but he said so he was that was intentional on his part and he did it to get that's the only way he could convince me because he would always try to convince me to come meet him come see him I'm like no I'm not doing that and so she convinced me to go out when I come back to Detroit and that's what happened I pulled up to the bar to meet her and And I changed my mind.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
It's something like God was just talking to me. Don't go in. Go home. Don't go in. I looked at the bar. I'm like, I'm going home. Yeah. And before I could get home, he that's when he crashed into me. He actually had the gun and he, I don't remember this part, but as you know, time went on, we talked about it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
He say, actually put the gun out and pointed it to like my head and something said, don't do it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Pulled me out of the car, beat me really bad. And then at the end of the beating, it was supposed to be the shooting. You know, he was supposed to shoot me. But he said something. He said when he looked around, nobody was around. The street was very dark. But he said he could hear it clear as day. Don't do it. And he said he walked away. I mean, jumped in his car and left me there.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
college kid, smart, never got into trouble, anything, you know, just say, yeah, I just knew I was attracted to this older boy and he got out of school and he would still come pick me up after school, but dated him all through high school.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
They don't think about that. They just think about the anger. They think of it as jealousy. They think of it as betrayal. No, the betrayal started a long time ago. When you were beating me years before that or cheating on me before that. He thought I left because of tearing. No, I left because of You, you, you, Terry, if Terry never existed, I wasn't going to be back with you.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
It's good. You know, we don't talk all the time. He's actually, um, about to get married, you know, um, We could coexist, you know, even though the boys are older, we could talk, have conversations.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
He's the one that actually when I was about to do the first Trap Queens and talk about it, I had to sit down with, I sat down with my sons and asked them if they feel okay with it because I never talked about my abuse. You know, it was a thing that I just walked, you know, walked the life and it was inside of me. Nobody never really knew how I felt about it, how internally, how it turned out.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
But after talking to him, I said, hey, I'm going to tell my story. And he said, you should. And I said, I'm going to have to tell you that you should. He said, women should know that this can happen to them. He said, I'm not that person no more. And he apologized so like he told me stories that I had never heard about him. And the apology that he gave me, it was so receiving to me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know how people say, you don't need that apology. You never get the apology. You don't need it. You're okay. I thought that. But once I got it from him, this most sincere apology behind the story, you should tell your story. I'm no longer that person. I'm not shame. You know, I can talk about it. Anything that you, if you need me for it, just let me know.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, I want to show men that they, he said he was in prison and he would hear the stories and he would just be embarrassed and his body would cringe. And like, how did I do that to somebody I love so much? You know, he said, I loved you so much. And he said, I couldn't understand why I did that to you all the time. But he said, well, I was sick. I grew up in it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
My father did it to my mother and I thought I was OK. And then it was the cycle that I did it to you. And after I got that apology, it was just like, OK, at first I'm like it changed something in me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
with him yeah you know at first i just would talk to him but i i wouldn't still want to be around him i couldn't have that conversation but after that apology and the explanation and telling me gave me the freedom to speak about it wow i felt it i felt the relief a real relief
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
My nephew, one of my nephews got eight years, one got nine years, one got 11 and one got 13. And yeah, and Terry got 30 years. But he came home on the CARES Act, so he's home. But Demetrius is not home.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
That's your lowest. I mean, it felt like, you know, I end up working in a prison chapel. I don't know how that happened. You know, the counselor, you know, the first counselor, you know, end up working in a chapel. In federal prison, everybody has to have a job. And it was only one out of 600 women. It was one job, one person for one job at the chapel. And it was given to me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
So I thought that was God putting me on a path. I was in the middle of the desert. I was in prison, like in Victorville prison. And if anybody know about Victorville prison, it's in the middle of the desert. I grew up in Vegas.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And I felt like that this was I was stripped, like I said, stripped of everything. This is my time to reflect on how did I get here? I walked on that yard. I was in the middle of the first night. I was in the middle of a sandstorm. And I looked up at the sky and I told God, please help me. Why am I here? Please change me. Let me figure out why I'm here. So when I got the job.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
In the chapel, I was around. I knew God. We called on God all the time. You know, when you're in the streets, you probably, God, let me get through this. Okay, God, I'm about, you know.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, you got all those drugs. You driving or you doing something. Come on, God. Thank you, God. Blessing him for the wrong things, you know, and when I end up in prison, I realized that I had to call on him much more than I ever had to call on him in my life. I was in the middle of the desert. I was the only one that worked in the prison chapel. So now I had to face God.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I didn't realize in my whole life how many different religions or that I was there, and I just seen all these books and all these things that I had to deal with every day. I felt like I was stripped. I had nobody. Even though you have family on the outside, you have your children, but once I was in prison, I was alone. No matter how many women were around me, I felt...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I felt alone and I had to call on this man and get on my knees and call on him like I never called on him before. My whole family, it was like I was in a fire once I got indicted. I felt like I had, like a fire had took over. You know how when people say I lost everything? I felt like I lost everything. Now I'm alone. I'm in prison. I got to do all these years. I'm mad. I'm bitter. I'm angry.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
The Rooster Tail, which was like a popular venue. It was a popular venue in Detroit, but it was popular for more of the people on the east side of Detroit. I don't know if you have any viewers that's from Detroit and know about the east side versus the west side, but it was an east side club. And I was 19 years old, had never been to a club like that. I don't think I ever went to a club.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I'm full of regret. I'm feeling so sorry for myself. Like how you feel sorry for yourself? Talking to me, you know, why are you feeling sorry for you? You belong here. You had gotten away with so much in your life. You belong here. Because at first I'm thinking I'm mad at Terry and Demetrius. And, you know, as time went on, I'm like, well, how are you going to be mad at him?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You've been selling drugs way before that. You just got away with this. You know, I was just getting away. I was just, you know, God had been saving me a long time. He'd been saving me through the abuse, through getting caught up with all the drugs. It was finally he said. I got to chastise you. You got to come here. Yeah, sit you down, baby.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And when I was sitting down and I was all alone, I realized that how messed up I was, this criminal mind and this thinking, my heart and my soul, I was, I had to get it together because now I have five young men in prison. I can't talk to them. I can't hear their voice. I was in prison. I had to just imagine my son's voice, my oldest son.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Even though my nephew was there, but it's different, your son. I feel bad for all of them, but I'm responsible. Now I don't hear my oldest son. He's 21, and he's got to spend 11 years of his life in prison. I got two sons at home just kind of fending for themselves. They're young men. They never had been without their mother. And I'm sitting here in prison, I had to get it together.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Did H step up with them whenever you went away or? Remember H was after the seven years, a few years later, H went back into prison.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
So, um, and my youngest sons, they were out in the streets. They didn't have to be, I could say, go home to my mom. Now we're going to stay here closer to you because they wanted to come visit me. But still they couldn't be, live their life no more. Right. You know, then I started.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Yeah, they're doing the time with me because they got to come visit me. They got to feel that hurt. They don't have a father. They don't have no brother. They don't have a mommy. They just out there alone. And I felt that when I was in prison. So that was the turning point of my life. And I've said that I needed to go there.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Hate everybody, come home with that same attitude, blaming others, and no, I had to look at me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Because I don't think you guys really got into that. We never talk about that. Nobody ever talked about it. But it was such, you know, like... It's like...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
That was probably my first time going to a club. Yes. And I went near him. It was like I went and I always say like a revolving door. You know how you go through a revolving door? I felt like my whole when I reflect on my life, I think about, wow, you went in as one person, but once you the night ended, you came out as a different person. The way I seen things. And why do you think that was?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
The women, he was just crazy. It's like you built this person up and you're thinking this person is loving you. You're taking everything that I've given you and you take it and you're about to have a baby now. You know, and then you dating somebody that's very close to me. Like if you listen, I wrote this poem. How could you do this to me? You were like my sister. But it was them two.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
He was in a relationship that somebody I raised. So you were looking at her as a child and I raised her. So you end up dating her. And on these wiretaps, you're saying that you're leaving me. Then you have another woman that she's pregnant by you. And the other woman he's pregnant by, you win. I'm thinking of myself like, you know, you build yourself. You have a class about yourself.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And some reason men go find, where'd you go find this woman? Like, you don't.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
you know what I'm saying and you don't want to think like you know but it makes you it it and then the thought of it made me angry like these go get you a bad bitch like you know and then you have you begging like literally begging her to have she wanted she was saying I'm getting a boy and he's on there talking about you better not get rid of my baby I'm like well what y'all gonna do with me
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
When you tell me what am I supposed to do, you already dating this child I look at as a child. You taking the hard-earned money that I gave you because when I got you, your child's mother lived in the worst part of the neighborhood. And I'm like, help her get out the neighborhood. Put your kids in a private school. Do better. Be a better father. I'm sharing my money. I'm sharing this with you.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
So how could you betray me like this? And everything that you were doing that I was asking you not to do, like going back to Detroit, the women, just everything that I'm saying, don't do that, don't do this. It was all on the tapes. It was like...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
just ringing ringing in my ear like and that's all i could hear like every day you i'm upstairs you downstairs you in my house you know when you hear a man in your house with another woman something it is not like this was all his riches this was something i built too i'm going i'm in prison for this now you know i gave you this you know if if i always think like if i didn't come into your life where would you know not like
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
bragging the same, but I don't know, where would you be? You know? It was such a betrayal, and especially when you know these, I mean, I didn't know the woman that was having this child, but I knew the other one, like I said, literally raised her. It was like you were watching me groom this young girl to be with her. And that was, that was very hurtful. And then it's kind of gross too.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Was it just like the glitz and the glamour? It was the glitz and the glamour. It was beautiful, you know. In my eyes, it was beautiful. Might not have been right, but to me, it was beautiful. The people looked amazing, you know. I was this girl from, like I said, the west side of Detroit. Grew up, went to high school, dated one guy all the way through high school. It was a different world to me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
It was embarrassing. It was gross. Then my sons, I'm thinking about dang, I don't put my sons in this life and you do this foul shit to me. Like, there's so many women in the street men could cheat with or do your thing with. Why do that so close? So close to home. So close. Like, I'm up, you know, like I said, I'm in one door, they're in the next door. Y'all downstairs, I'm upstairs.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You don't think like that. You're thinking this person is your dog, your homie, your best friend.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You don't ever get over it. And the worst is not seeing a person, but listening to emotions right when you're hearing your your man talk to another woman you could tell when they're bullshitting with her i was hearing all these emotions like you were in love and you had me you felt like you was just stringing me along you know
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
The songs, the voices, and the songs he was saying, these are my favorite songs.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I still can't listen to Ain't No Sunshine when she's gone. I'm like, turn it off.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Mine's a secret love. So I'm in the kitchen cooking and they're in the kitchen with me and he's playing because he called himself a DJ. So he would play the song. So you really antagonize me. You're playing with my emotions and I'm not really knowing that you're doing this. And you could hear them on the conversations talking about me. Like you're really talking about me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Like you're really talking about me. Don't talk about me with other women. With other women. And I used to always tell them that because that was a saying with my father. My stepdad was like, do not put your feet under another man's table and talk about the man you got at home. Don't do that. You don't need to do that. Yeah. And that kind of stuck with me as I grew up.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, you don't do that. And I would tell him that because he would try to talk about his child, his children's mother. I'm like, don't put your feet under my table talking about her. You had two children back something about it that you liked. We don't need it. And then to hear you on the phone talking about me was crazy. But then I had a moment of insanity.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
My mom had passed and he came home a couple months later. So I thought, you know, like you said, trauma bonding thought like this was history. Let me get back with him. I think about five months. I think it lasts about five months. And I was like, what the hell are you doing? With Terry. With Terry. And I think, like you said, you start hearing the music. I've started looking at him.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
It wasn't like we never got married. You don't trust. There's no trust. And I can see if, like I told him, we never, you never even married me. You know, you wasted so many, I wasted so many years of my life on you.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
you know we never got married so it was like why did i you i wasn't good enough to marry so let me just remove myself out your life man i just said i needed to get back to who i was i felt like in all of this and all that i lost who i was and i know no matter what i did in my past i still was a strong independent woman that i knew Once I put my mind to something, I can do it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I don't need a man like that. Somebody so insecure. I need a strong, powerful man to be with the strong, powerful woman. That's right, baby. No, that's right. Anybody know anybody? Single mama, single baby.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
this right you know I don't belong over here I want to be a part of this everybody looked amazing from the jewels to the hair to the clothes and I always call myself like a fashionable person when I was like going up through school and stuff like that so but seeing that fashion there you know in Detroit we feel like we're very fashionable but seeing that fashion I wanted to be a part of that
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Because the DMs popping, but I ain't seeing nobody yet. So y'all keep coming. Keep them coming.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And I thought I thought it ended up on good terms. You know, sometimes, you know, you say things to a person like, you know, this is this not for us. It's not for me. I don't want to I don't want to try this again anymore. You know, maybe it's somebody out there for you. You know, I don't know, but I don't think that person is me. And so you think that it's okay.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
It was just like when I packed up and left, I just said, this is it. This is it for me. But I think when you go back to a person, you show them that,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
that they you they think they have something on you they don't really think that you would leave for real right good and that was that was my last time it was like the it was so small what I can't even remember but it was like it's not for me and I look and when I look at pictures or somebody sent me some of people say something we don't even match to me we like
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Thank you. Thank you. So we don't, you know, so I said, you know, sometimes you got to let people be with who they used to be with.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And I'm not her. You go back over there and be with the people that, you know. Yeah. Absolutely.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And so at that point, I didn't know it was a beat. But, you know, I lost my son in July.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
It's hard for me to still talk about that. But not a text, not a flower, not nothing. I said, wow, you must be really angry. And you don't think a person's angry. You know, I think they should understand my anger is not an anger or disappointment. Like you said, it's self-disrespect and how they depicted me in the BMF series. So I can't speak about that because I'm living.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
They, you did a whole show around the woman that's living. It's not like my estate is mad. My children is mad. I'm upset about how y'all portrayed me in a movie. And I didn't know that that's the way y'all felt about me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Well, their show had already been in the works. Their show came out in 2021, like I think at the end of 20 or something like that. My son just passed 23 in July.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
So I was sitting in writers' rooms, sitting with Randy, the showrunner. It's a real big mess. I can't talk about it right now. Wow. And then you don't find out you're not into it. And that was another thing. Terry... They wasn't gonna even use Terry. Terry was in prison. I hired a lawyer for Terry to make sure that he got his proper, you know.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I didn't come up with the concept, but I know I was very intricate. in helping build that story. I'm intricate in the story. Because you see, you created a whole storyline about me. It's not like you had me in season two and three or one, or season one and I'm out of there. My character keeps coming season two and season three.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
you know just turned me right out right right out this is where i need to be mama got little mama got turned out yeah um so after going to that club how long after that did you meet harold i met him and he was at the club in the club that night yeah he was from the east side and um hero is um they call him h in detroit they call him h and he was known to be like Very fashionable, you know.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And if they have another season, because how are you gonna get rid of La La La La is playing my character and they know she's a major part of that story. When I found out that, when I got the lawyer for Terry, and I said, Terry, we're in the contract together. Terry somehow got, once he signed his contract, he told them not to use me. I didn't know he did this to me. I didn't know.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
It's just one betrayal. And then I found out afterwards. So I kept it, I kept it to myself. I ain't saying nothing. So I was trying to still work it. They were trying to work something still out for me. And, um, then I didn't end up in it. And my son, my younger son owned the trademark who did it, the trademark in 2015, when nobody wanted to touch the MF no more.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Everybody was like, if you mess with it, you're going to prison. We don't want to touch it. So my younger son built this whole thing around it, saying, I'm going to show it not as a gang, as we were a family. We were a family unit. So he started selling merchandise, T-shirts. He had this whole, if you look at his page, he'd been doing it for years.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
All of a sudden, when 50 Cent got the contract with Starz, because before Starz, BMF series, it was going to be a movie.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And the movie didn't go through because somebody else owned the rights to doing the movie. He ended up making it a series. And here come all of them, the mother and everybody. Now everybody want their BMF, you know. Now here everybody comes. But that was the betrayal. So I didn't know until kind of. Wow. But you know what? I don't look, thanks for the betrayal.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
He did me a favor because sometimes that's God moving you. You know, I might've not, if I wasn't becoming aware of all the betrayal, I might've still been under there, still under his kind of control and not being able to do me. Once I realized and say, you know what? I had enough of this. I had enough of you, your whole family. I don't want no parts of this anymore. I sat back, I released it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
A week later, I get a call and say, well, I'm still soaking it. I'm still upset. Anytime you break up anything, a relationship, you feel betrayed, you still got to mourn that too. And once I went through that, I said, you know, I was sitting with my oldest son. He said, I'm sorry. you got 24 hours to 48 hours to soak in this. And then you gotta let it go.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And that's this whole thing. I'm like, okay. And right after I said, I can't let him see me doing this again. I got up and I mean, I kind of licked my wounds and I got a call. Hey, we want to do, how about doing your movie? Will anyone to sit down and have a meeting with you about doing your movie?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And I think that was what God wanted me to do because he wanted me to have my own shine, my own light, my own redemption, my own story.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Not under them. And I would have been mixed in like I am mixed in there now. And people don't understand the story until they talk to me or see me now. Everybody's like, oh. So we know who you are. We've seen your story, but it had to be because my journey is so different. I had so many layers. I never wanted to tell the story like they told the story.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I don't think it's entertaining to talk about a woman in an abusive relationship. I don't think it's entertaining now to talk about glorifying the drugs, selling the murders. Once you went through it and you want to I changed who I am. It wouldn't have been a part of me. Like I wouldn't have felt good about, like I don't feel good about that story. It's theirs.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I wish them the best on it, but I'm glad that I got the opportunity to do my own story and tell my truth.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
First, when I think about it, I can talk, and then as soon as I start talking about it. Yeah, so I'm still dealing with that a lot. He wanted to go home. He said he wanted to be with God. But the week before, the week it happened, I was in Detroit. He was in L.A., and he called me and said, I need to see you. And I said, well, I'll be there tomorrow. And I flew to L.A.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
So just looking at him also, he was young, and most of the people there were a little older than him. But he was older than me, but they were older than him, and that was his crowd, his group of people that he hung out with. And so he kind of stood out to me because of what he had on. But, you know, then he caught my eye. We caught each other's eyes.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
We spent the most beautiful time together, just him and I. And we talked and we ate and we laughed and we had a great time. So I left on a Friday. And he said, promise me you'll never, you know, we won't go a day without talking to each other. You know, because when kids get grown, everybody get grown and get in their life. You might not hear from a couple of days or three days.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
So we made a promise, you know, we pinky and you're doing all that. We would never go a day without speaking. I said, okay. You know, I'm not thinking like that. I said, okay. And he said, so I got home. I called him. I said, I made it. He said, okay. Talk to you tomorrow. He already came. I didn't talk to him. I'm like, hmm. You know, still didn't think nothing of it. Sunday came.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I was calling him, didn't talk to him. I panicked automatically. I said, God, we're not supposed to. This is not supposed to happen. We're supposed to talk every day. Something is wrong. Something is wrong. So I end up calling his wife, which I never do. And I said, uh... Where's Jason? I haven't heard from him. And she said, well, he's okay. He's at home. He's just going through a lot.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And I said, well, what is he going through, you know? Well, he's just going through a lot. And then I said, okay. We were talking. We were chatting. I said, I'm out there running Starbucks. I'll call you back. Let me call you back because I needed my phone to app. I said, let me call you back. So about time I got my Starbucks, got back in the car, called her back, and she was like, he's gone.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I said, who's gone? I said, Jason's gone. I'm like, gone where? She said, he's gone. Just that fast.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
No, and that's just the part about it. Like people always think like you see it coming, but talking to therapists and everybody, you don't. Sometimes you just don't. Sometimes it's a break. He probably knew, but he would never show me that. He never wanted me to see that. Probably his wife said he would go in and out, but she never thought that. You know, people in life get depressed, you know.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
It's life, and it's tough, and it's rough. It's been rough on my family since the indictment, you know. They made it. People have made it really rough, but I thought we overcame it. I thought we were going to be okay.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
yeah so I'm so sorry but I just thank God I said well thanks for giving me that time you know thanks for him saying that I want to be with her but you know my son was so handsome like gosh it was awesome and um seeing him You know, laying in that casket, he looked so like, he looked like the little, like a little boy. Like he was so, like so fresh. And it looked like he was in such a peace.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
But I was still young and very impressionable, and I was like, wow, okay.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
So I try to think about, like all the time, like he was at a peace. So whatever was so heavy on him, that he's at a peace. And I know the way my life has been going, that he's up there just like an angel, just Because he always said, he told me then, he said, forget about all this stuff. No, but you're still just having a conversation. Forget about all this stuff. Take care of you.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
We are all grown. We are all grown. Take care of you. Go be happy, Mom. He said, you haven't been happy. You go be happy. I said, I'm happy. He said, no, you're not. Go be happy.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Just seeing him, you know, like everything he had on from the jewels, from the clothes, you know, just something different than I was used to.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
He said, go be happy. And I said, okay. He said, I just, it's just, cause he, he still called me mommy. He said, mommy, just go be happy. I said, okay. He said, we going to be all right. We all going to be all right. And I never thought, I keep thinking, how, why did I leave? But that was just the journey. That was our time. Amen.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And just knowing that he said that he wanted to be with God, that's the blessing. And seeing him, he looked so beautiful, like beautiful, like at a peace, like the angels and God had just came and took him themselves. He was that beautiful.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Notorious Queens. Trapped Queens. Mm-hmm. Hi, Mom. I just got a new book deal that my book will be out next year. Excuse me. Like I said, work in prison reform tomorrow. Sorry, guys. You're good. You're good. Take a deep breath. Just doing some amazing things, helping women, helping people, filing motions.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Just in my community, giving back, helping with expungements, giving a lot of hugs and uplifting people, showing them, giving them hope because I am an older woman now and I don't want people to think you have to give up. You never know what can happen in your life. You know, I have been through some things and I always say, why me? But then I'm chosen to help other people. And that's my path now.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
That's my journey that I'm out here. And even before that happened to my son, that's what makes me happy most is helping other people. You know, I didn't. Well, I'm a nominee now. And the image awards. Yes.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
She's a manifesting queen. Manifested. And I'm already, you know, and even if. I don't. I've already won. You know, just to be in that category, to be a nominee, somebody like we say, you come from the streets, you never know what your journey is. You know, we always think we don't get second chances, but now society has given us second chances. And I know I'm saying I'm beyond my chances.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I know I'll have more than second chances. And just to know that such a prestigious committee have looked at my story and seen that my journey and the path that I'm on and say, hey, we want to put you in this category to be a nominee. I already won.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
well voting is cut off already so i did vote whenever yeah you vote yeah yeah i didn't know if it was still going or whatever it ended i think friday what's today tuesday or something monday i'm like today's tuesday um so yeah and that that's amazing journey and i and i didn't want to write a book until that i had accomplished some amazing things you know that
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I said, I told my son, my oldest son, when I first came home, I told him, write a book. I'm like, I'm writing a book. To talk about what? I knew I had some things that I had to conquer, some things I needed. It was some more work that I had to do within myself. And when I talk about who I am and me, I want it to mean value. I want people to see I overcame and that I changed who I was. Yes, ma'am.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
no i'm putting in the work you know um people do need to hear it you know we we we were first to go through the shame and the guilt and now it's like hey this is who i am i'd rather me tell it than anybody else tell i need you to know what happens i am a no i'm not even a survivor i'm a survivor and people
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
know and that we all don't make it out you know so many women have been losing their lives and we all don't make it out so this is a story that people need to watch it's a cautionary story and it's also meant to be inspiring at the end you know it was tough it was a tough life that I you know that I had and I want people to understand that hey I don't think it's glamorous.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
They're all glitz and glamorous, you know. I was blessed in a way that I didn't have to still be in prison in due time, but I was one of those chosen ones to say, hey, this don't happen often. Don't happen often. That is amazing.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
thank you where can people find you online and do you have a website i have a website i have silentheart.org and that's with the y s y l not s i l and then you can watch me on social media it's his first lady tonisa tiktok i think it's just my name i don't know i'll have to follow you over there i didn't know if you had one or not yeah i i just started you know i'm not oh we'll help you thank you thank you whatever you
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
you need thank you but yeah and most of it you could just google my name or just follow me first lady tonisa and facebook is my name and twitter is my name and watch uh first lady yes and watch first lady of bmf the tonisa welch story
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I didn't. They don't know anything. Like, you don't know anything. You don't know, you know. So, yeah, right away it was kind of like, uh-uh. can you take me on this relationship with h and this journey um at first it was very you know very exciting he uh took me out a lot he treated me very nice um he bought me things right away you know um You didn't have to wait.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Thank you for having me. Thank you. I've enjoyed it. I'm a talker, too.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And you know, this is a crazy coincidence because you know Jelly Roll is one of my favorite artists.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Yes, yes, yes. I just went to his concert and then when you called me, I'm like, oh my God. No, this can't be real. Yeah, you were in Detroit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're going to be on tour again. You got to come. Oh, I've already seen. You got to be in Wichita, Kansas. I'm thinking, is it September? Okay, just tell me. I don't think I got to wait that long, though.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Because you don't start until what? August. And then you're in Wichita. Cause about time you, Wichita would be the closest to me. Cause my brother stayed there. Okay. So I already told him, heck, you're going to.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, I had to wait on my little check or my mom to buy me things. You know how when you're in high school, your mom shops for you. We were very close and we would go shopping every weekend. But with him, it was like he wanted me immediately to play the part, you know, look the part. So immediately he started buying me things, you know.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I don't know. You know, when you think of grooming, you're thinking like a pimp grooming his... Right, no, I mean like grooming you for the lifestyle. Yeah, basically, I think so. Yeah, he could have been. You know, I don't think he maybe thought in his head, but I think I really know that when he first, he was very attracted to me and he just wanted...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, it was always a guy from the east side probably wanted a girl from the west side. And I was different from probably the girls that he usually had been dating. I still had an innocence about me, even though I had a child, you know, I still felt like I had that and getting with him. He knew that. And he, like you said, maybe so what probably was a grooming, you know?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Oh, we just felt like it was just a whirlwind romance. And we, you know, I'm excited about his lifestyle. I'm excited about the people that he's hanging with. I'm doing that now. I had started, like, the shopping, the cars, you know, the trips and things like that. And then after that, I wanted to become a part of his world. Whatever he was doing, I wanted to be a part of that.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
When you talk about his lifestyle, what do you mean? He was into selling drugs, you know.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Yeah, because I think of the laws now. I do a lot about into prison reform, understanding the laws and things. And I'll be like, God, I could have been one of those people. that got caught up and still would have been in prison because it is people that I know that we're fighting for now that been in prison for 30 years has done less than me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
So when I think back about it, I'm around all these drugs immediately having no fear. It was because you don't understand. You're very naive. You're ignorant to what could happen to you. All you thinking about was the excitement. I was very excited about it all. It made me feel just as powerful as he did. Like I looked at him as, you know, he moved rooms and I wanted to move rooms too.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I wanted people to, hey, look at me, look at me too, you know? Just boss mentality.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
And that's what came with it. It came with the boss mentality, the status, you know, in a city like Detroit. And I wanted to be a part of that. And it just, I had no fear. Like you said, no fear.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
So when did, did you start moving drugs for him? Yeah. You know, people like for him, like we were, I think we're more so a partnership. Right. You know, it wasn't for him. Like he would send me out and then I would go do, you know, like, hey, you go take this run. You take this bag. You do this. I wanted to be his partner.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
No matter what he wanted me to do. You know, no, you stay here. You do this. No, I want to be right there with you.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I can do this too. I always thought that. You know, I was talking to my brother not too long ago, and he said, I don't know what it was. And he's older than me. And he said, I don't know what it was. Even when you were a little girl, you always had that kind of, like, street mentality. I just didn't realize it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
You know, probably even when I was playing, you know, in school or playing with my kids, people in my neighborhood like even when I was in high school I didn't really want to hang with the high school people I wanted to be because I had the older boyfriend I wanted to be with the older crowd you know that's what my head was like oh yeah too young for me I want to do this you know so I'm growing
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I always felt grown. I always felt like I had to take on the responsibilities of everyone else. You know, even though I had the three brothers, they were older. I always thought I was the big mom of the house. Right. Even for my mom and dad. Now, this is how this is going to go.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
Running the household. So I wanted to took that out into the streets with me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
I just was like, why are we stuck over here on the East side when there's a lot more players on the West side? Yeah. And he thought about it because he didn't, you know, East Side people at that time, they didn't, you know, they didn't, we didn't coexist with one another. You know, the East Side staying on the East Side and the West Side staying on the West Side.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Tonesa Welch
But I felt like I'm your connection now to the East Side. I was popular because of myself and my brothers, even though they wasn't in the street, they were just friends. You know, my one brother always gave the parties and my other brother was just the handsome, had all the girls. And so we were kind of popular. So I knew that if you came over there, I could find the people for you.