Join Alex and Laren for a wholesome Thanksgiving hang. The girls reflect on their plans and traditions and Lauren opens up about how her family coped with the holiday season after losing her dad. Then, Alex and Lauren reminisce on what they were like in high school, their most dramatic moments, and their arch nemeses. Enjoy!
Chapter 1: What are the Thanksgiving plans for Alex and Laren?
So I'm doing two Thanksgivings this year. I'm doing one in Louisiana in the middle of November, and then I'm doing one in Pennsylvania on actual Thanksgiving. Oh, wow. It wasn't entirely planned to do two Thanksgivings. I've never done two Thanksgivings before, but I guess we'll just rip the Band-Aid off in the first minute of the episode.
I recently went through a breakup, and the plan was to spend Thanksgiving with my... ex-boyfriend's family. So I was going to do with my own family in the middle of November and then go celebrate with his family on actual Thanksgiving. So now I'm just celebrating Thanksgiving twice with both sides of my family.
Okay. Well, I'm going to be honest. I don't think there is a better holiday to have two of than Thanksgiving because it's just meaning that you're getting to eat really good food. So I feel like that's kind of a blessing.
I'm not like really complaining.
What are you doing?
Wait, you're hosting and that wasn't supposed to be the plan.
Thank you. Thank you. I was not supposed to be hosting this year. I was very, very adamant about not hosting. I think I talked about this on an episode before, but I'm a good host, but I really have to be in the mood. And I think... There's no escape for you. Oh, yes. There is no escape. And you're like an escape artist at like a party. Yes.
Like I like to relax and I like to get out when I want to get out. And I feel like Matt and I have been so busy that holidays are so important to me. Like I really, really want to spend time with him and I want to be present. And I know that when you're hosting... you can't really be present with each other.
Like, I'm not going to be sitting on Matt's lap, like, making out with him and, like, shoving cornbread in my face. Like, I'm going to be making sure everyone is, like, situated and their plates are filled and, like, we're eating last.
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Chapter 2: How is hosting Thanksgiving different for Alex?
And, like, so the plan was... Yeah, how did you get, like, cornered into this situation?
Right, so, like, why the fuck am I hosting? Yeah. So I think we were first initially saying don't host because we thought like my family was coming to and we thought it was going to be like a couple of years ago. It was literally like 40 something people. It was fucking insane. And we had people inside and outside and it was just overwhelming.
Now this year, Matt's mom called us and was like, you guys, it's literally just our internal side of the family on Matt's side. Like my family staying on the East Coast this year. So it's going to be smaller. Yeah. So first she was going to be hosting. And then all of a sudden Matt and I were like, should we just offer like, I felt bad because our house is a very good hosting house.
Your house is very conducive to hosting.
You got the inside, you got the outside, you got the outdoor heaters, you got the outdoor bar.
Ooh. Yeah. We definitely set ourselves up to host. So I think we just had a moment where we're like, why are we making your mom do this? Like, let's just fucking take it.
Once you get over the mental hump of hosting, not that I host many things. I feel like once you get over the mental hump, Then you can kind of start to get cozy and be like, well, now I get to pick exactly the foods I want. I get to pick exactly the vibe and the people. And like now you can just like own it and make it exactly what you want.
No, you're right. And there was also something about like mentally for a minute thinking that Matt's mom was doing it now that it's like. I don't know why, but it's something like knowing someone else was going to do it. And now it's back on me. I am less stressed than the whole time. It had been like Matt and Alex are hosting this entire year. Now it's kind of like who gives a fuck where it is.
Let's just like last minute. If I don't have matching things, it doesn't matter. I'm taking one for the team. I'm doing this for you. So like no judgment. Okay. So what's your menu?
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Chapter 3: What are the favorite Thanksgiving foods of Alex and Laren?
Okay, first, are you...
a sides person or are you a main course person I'm a sides person I think that's the obvious answer like you're a main course person like yeah what the fuck are you doing it's like you're like looking forward to the appetizers when you're at a dinner more than you're looking to the main event okay so I would say I'm the sides person I would say I couldn't number one on my list and I know this is controversial maybe is stuffing I am a stuffing girl through and through are you a stuffing girl
It's low. That's pretty low on my list. I feel like stuffings can go wrong really quick and they can be dried.
No, I am. I was like, I don't want to become off as high maintenance, but my mother-in-law loves to cook for me.
Like you were here and she was like, she brought us a pumpkin pie and was like, girl's
texting you later like how's the pie how's the pie did you try the pie she loves to cook for me and i remember it was like the first thanksgiving i was doing with matt and i'm such a freaking freak about stuffing and i remember i was like whispering to matt before we went to his mom's i'm like i just like feel like you've been kind of telling me your family doesn't like emphasize carbs as much and like stuffing and i'm really getting anxious because like i'm a carb family like i love my mashed potatoes matt's family's healthy so i would be anxious going in and be like
Are you going to be doing like a gluten-free stuffing?
I was like- Just to cut the carbs? Lauren, I was absolutely on the edge of my seat being like, I don't want to fucking miss out on a good Thanksgiving. If you guys are doing healthy, like let me know and I'll go to Boston Market, pick up a couple little sides. Exactly. Exactly. And so his mom, for my first Thanksgiving, made two different stuffings. That's when you know. That's when you know.
She was so nice. And I remember trying both. What was the difference between the two? One was way more like fat kid. And it was just like...
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Chapter 4: How do Alex and Laren navigate difficult family conversations?
Oh, I thought you were saying if anyone in my family is listening to this right now and you're planning to ask me when I'm having kids, knock it off.
No, but I also... Well, you know what it also is? And I think this is a part of it too that Matt and I have discussed is like not knowing what my personal experience will be with trying to get pregnant when it comes time that I want to do that. It's like... I could literally say to someone like, yeah, like we're going to try this next month. And then what if I can't get pregnant?
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I don't want to talk about things of timelines because I am so aware that there is no fucking timeline. There is no right time to get pregnant. There is no exact timeline.
like they're none of it so I I think I'm more just like adverse to the entire conversation but I'm not like please don't ask me about that I'm more just I always just kind of avoid it I'm like oh I don't know like we're still like think we're taught there's just so many layers to it and things you need to figure out yourself before like you share it with other people
You miss McMullen. Oh, I know. I'm going to be asked like, oh, my gosh.
So like what happened?
Well, what happened? And then to like, I think just like, oh, like you're we're 30 now and we're single. And like, not that I've had much. I don't know how much I can speak on this because I haven't been single that long. I haven't been 30 that long and I haven't really.
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Chapter 5: What are the challenges of holidays after a breakup?
feel so unsettling to me and she was like I think there's this unspoken thing that when he sits down at the fourth table setting it means your dad's replaced it means your dad's forgotten and like that's not the case that's not true right because it was so confusing to me I'm like I love this person I love their relationship I love the whole thing but like it's just making me
not anxious it's just I couldn't put a finger on this unsettling feeling of like and it was the feeling that I thought that meant that my dad was being replaced and that wasn't the case at all yeah no that is like so beautiful I remember that time in your life and you handled it so gracefully and I think like again you were so fortunate to have your mom handled that way and I know that there I'm so
I know there are so many people that probably have horror stories of step parents and all of that, but I do think it's such a true statement. And I think we've talked about this a lot about how like there are so many ways to like continue to remember someone and a new addition doesn't mean that someone else now like can't be a part of things.
And I feel like it's hard when the person isn't there, but there's so many ways that you can celebrate that person without feeling like you're just like overriding them when we're done with you.
Sitting at a table, the four of us, I couldn't get over the fact it just felt like delete and like insert. So we just like said, fuck it. And now for Christmas, we don't sit in Pennsylvania every year for Christmas. Now we go to a different national park and we hike and we just do something entirely different and like start over fresh. And it just feels so nice and new.
And we hike and we like reminisce and we talk about them. But for some reason, just like sitting in Pennsylvania, sitting the four of us around the table just felt like And it's so illogical, but it just felt like we were trying to write my dad out of the story. And it just feels so much better and more exciting and fun to just completely start over with a new tradition.
I love that you said that, though, that you're like, it feels completely illogical. And I'm pretty sure, and so many people that experience that type of grief, it's like, It should be illogical because it's this like you can't explain it and you don't have to explain it. Like you felt the way you felt. And now I love that. Like, Daddy Gang, like you can make your own new traditions.
And especially when things are wrapped in like trauma and loss, like you can shake shit up. And when you step out of line or when you change shit up, it can feel a little disoriented.
even thinking about like breaking the tradition like you're like oh I feel like I'm like fucking up and like being like a bad family member and it's like I bet all of you sitting at that fucking table like I bet your mom's fiance was like probably would have been the first one to be like guys I'm so down to do something different he probably was ecstatic that now he's getting to hang out with a version of me that's like relaxed and like open and not me sitting around the table being like
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