As Jake lay locked-in and unable to move or speak, a sperm sample was taken without his explicit consent, sparking a complex legal and ethical battle that would stretch far beyond his hospital bed, and Jake’s fight to reclaim what was his. Content warning: Drug use/abuse, addiction, death and dying, medical trauma, discussions of consent, marital rape, sexual assault, emotional distress & mature content. Resources can be found on our website, blinkthepodcast.com Blink is part of The Binge - subscribe to The Binge to get new episodes of Blink one-week early and all episodes completely ad-free. Just Hit ‘Subscribe’ at the top of the Blink show page on Apple Podcasts or visit GetTheBinge.com. The Binge – feed your true crime obsession. Find out more about The Binge and other podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts and follow us @sonypodcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices . . . . . Hosted and produced by Corinne Vien Co-created by Jake Haendel Original composition by Michael Marguet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What sensitive topics are discussed in this episode?
Blink is intended for mature audiences as it discusses topics that can be upsetting, such as drug use, sexual assault, and emotional and physical violence. And in this particular episode, there's discussion around rape, consent, and pregnancy loss. Content warnings for each episode are included in the show notes.
Resources for drug addiction and domestic abuse can be found in the show notes and on our website, blinkthepodcast.com. The testimonies and opinions expressed by guests of the show are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of myself or affiliates of this podcast. we've all been left on a massive cliffhanger. Jake had three requests in his divorce.
So here's a quick recap.
Jake was diagnosed with acute toxic progressive leukoencephalopathy in May of 2017 at Massachusetts General Hospital, MGH. He was later transferred to Fairlawn Rehabilitation Hospital, then to a nursing home, Parsons Hill, where he took a fall and then was sent to UMass Memorial briefly and then back to MGH, which is where all of this began.
He spent time shuffling back and forth from MGH to Spalding Rehabilitation Hospital, which was quite necessary to receive the adequate care needed for his extreme condition. And frankly, his should have been deadly complications. And then he moved into hospice where he did not die. He was brought back to MGH.
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Chapter 2: What happened to Jake during his hospital stays?
And this is where Dr. Levinson noticed movement in Jake's wrist, discovering that Jake was locked in. And this is also the place where Jake was first able to communicate by eye blink. He was then transferred to Spalding Rehabilitation Hospital, this time for his first inpatient stay. And then Ellen bought a house and moved him to Western Massachusetts Hospital.
But then his main doctor back at MGH had him transferred back to MGH temporarily until settling at Tewksbury State Hospital, where he lived while receiving outpatient care at Spalding. Okay, long story short, Jake was constantly shuffled between hospitals. And this certainly made it much more difficult for family to try to track him down.
And I want to say once more, this episode contains sensitive content, including discussions of consent, marital rape, and Jake's growing acceptance of the reality of what he endured. We're starting with Jake's second stay at MGH. This was after Parsons Hill and before he moved to hospice.
Jake is already in this pseudo-coma, locked in, and doctors are questioning whether he has any meaningful consciousness. It's the winter of 2017.
Every little thing was extremely painful, frustrating, itchy, scratchy, sensitive. Yes, fully aware of all pain. Quality of life was not good. All I really wanted to do is be able to say a few words to the people I loved, and that would have been good enough, and I was kind of ready.
Jake was preparing to die, hearing a doctor tell his wife it was time. Something that he'd hear over and over again over the coming months.
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Chapter 3: What led to the legal battle over Jake's sperm?
Mrs. Handel, your husband will not make it past Christmas. Now I can't see, I can just hear people and I have a sense of where people are around my bed in the room. And I hear, okay, I think I would like to get a sample. You know, it's funny, all these other medical professionals at first had no idea what she was talking about. I knew exactly what she was talking about.
And they were like, ma'am, what do you mean? She's like, well, we always wanted kids before he dies. I want to get a sample so one day I can have his kids. And they're like, oh, no, no, no, you can't do that. And we'll tell you why. Two reasons. Number one, he's non-responsive. He's in a coma, and we don't know if that's what he would want. You can't do that.
And number two, the simple act might kill him in his condition right now.
Jake's body was highly sensitive and doing something like this could trigger another autonomic storm. Or worse.
And she just goes, how dare you tell me what I will or will not do with my fucking husband. If you don't like it or you don't want to watch, get the fuck out. I feel her going to town on me. Right in front of all of them, I assume. I mean, from what I felt, she was definitely jerking me off. Now, was it under the blankets, or was it wide out in the open? I don't know. I'm not certain.
My feeling is it was right out in the open. And I remember hearing footsteps backing up to the door. Not much was said. I think everyone was kind of like shocked what was happening and no one knew what to do. You know, first of all, it felt... So it felt... What?
I was having intense spasms from... I mean, you can imagine if a breeze of someone walking by you was burning your skin and ultra hypersensitive. What this would feel like? And it was like... really, really intense, and I'm spasming, and I feel muscles everywhere in my body, from my toes up to the hairs on my head, contracting and freaking out, and it felt good and painful all at the same time.
I remember hearing charge nurse saying, oh, hell no, hell no, this is rape, this is not okay, and You know, I don't really know the other talkings of what was happening in the moment.
I was aghast when Jake first told me this. I found it difficult to believe that she'd attempt that so brazenly out in the open. And that doubt is something I'm sure many survivors come face to face with often.
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Chapter 4: How did Jake's wife approach the situation?
You know, for the record, when I was diagnosed, because we did have two miscarriages, and we did want kids, and my grandmother, my dad's mother... On her deathbed, I went down to Texas to say my goodbyes, and about two weeks, ten days, something, before she died, sitting beside her bed, she took my hand, and she said, keep the family name alive, you're the last one.
So I'm like the last handle, so... that always, like, kind of held weight with me, and I was like, I better have a son or else the handful name ceases to exist. And I told my wife that, and right around when I was diagnosed, she got mad, left, came back within that first month. We had one or two conversations about the idea of... Well, I still kind of could talk and function freezing a sample.
Anyway, that was not revisited until this moment. There's a lot of other complex... issues and reasons why I was kind of would be willing to do anything I guess what I'm trying to say is in that moment if I could have spoke and my wife was doing this at that point anything she said would have would have went with me
She had all the power, like, ah, whatever, you know, if she said we should put him down right now, I would say, yeah, like, whatever she wants. I was, like, brainwashed, I think. Like, she had a hold over me.
As we can all imagine, this interview is quite difficult for Jake. I can see his mind working through the weight of his own words as he says them out loud, trying to make sense of what happened to him. It's part of his story he shared with very few people. Even some of his closest friends don't know. But forgetting it is impossible.
Jake often speaks at medical conferences, sharing his experience. And recently, after one of these events, several nurses approached him. They said it wasn't just in one room. It wasn't just one moment. It was happening across multiple floors, in different rooms. The repeated sample collection, the whispered conversations. It had sent waves of concern through the staff.
We've reached out to many of these nurses and doctors who were witness to it, and initially a few agreed to talk as long as they remained anonymous and their voices altered. But then, one by one, they backed out. No one is willing to go on record. The fear of losing their jobs keeps them silent. And to be clear, Jake holds no resentment towards the hospital or its staff.
This was uncharted territory for them, too. Everyone was scrambling, trying to understand what was ethical, what was right, what was the protocol. And when there is no protocol, what happens to the person who tries to stop it?
I can hear the snores freaking out in the hallway. My wife is just going to town. I mean, I hear my heart machine going off. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. I mean, I always kind of felt like I was having a heart attack, but that's really pushed me into high gear. You know, if I was a car, I was redlining for sure.
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of consent in marriage?
More men are stepping forward, and pop culture is beginning to reflect this reality. Take Baby Reindeer, a recent example that sheds light on male victimhood in ways rarely explored. As our conversations around consent evolve, so too must our understanding of who needs protection, who needs to be believed, and how we can reshape the narratives that we've long accepted as truths.
Again, hard to gauge time, but what felt like two to four hours, she came back and said, everyone else not viable have to do it again. Again, nursing was, like, freaking out. They were complaining to doctors. I could, like, hear to this. And this kept going on for what I say felt like 17 days a few times a day.
And it got to the point where my wife, I remember this, she complained that nursing kept coming in the room. And we needed our privacy. And she wanted a sign to go on the door. I do not deserve even a heart monitor going off when this was happening. I think the logic was, like, he's gonna die by Christmas anyway. I gotta get this. I need this. I need the semen, man. Like, before it dies.
I need it. I need it. I'm thinking of, like, a Dave Chappelle skit. Like, I need it, man. It's my crack.
I need that shit. The truest thing about Jake is that he can go through some of the worst things humanly possible and still crack a joke about it. Okay, so we're all asking the same question, right? How was this able to continue to happen? It's one thing for this to happen on one singular occasion in the hospital with shocked hospital staff bumbling around trying to figure out what to do.
But multiple times?
I now know it was a very big deal in this journal. I meet MJ's lawyers, ethics committee, doctors were all involved apparently. Now my wife is a very convincing individual and I'm sure she, you know, explained that this is what I wanted.
I just don't understand how the decision-making takes so long that something like this could potentially continue for multiple days, potentially weeks. And whether they deem it ethical or not, wouldn't you ensure his safety before a decision is made?
And this happened in multiple units. So, newer ICU, the place you go to after the ICU, which is like two floors above and longer building, Phillip's house in Ellison 22. This happened like multiple units because I was being moved around a lot. So multiple nursing units were like up in arms freaking out. I actually went back to do a talk.
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Chapter 6: How has society's understanding of consent evolved?
Okay, well, you want to have a child, that's what it takes. I didn't think it was ridiculous, and I paid for the sperm bank. I was paying for everything. I was. She wasn't working. She had no money. I think it was a cost of $395 or something weird like that. It wasn't outrageously expensive.
I asked how all of this could have happened. Did they call the sperm bank ahead of time to get instructions on how to collect a viable sample?
Yeah, she took care of figuring that she had that all. Yeah, that was her job.
I asked if he had to sign any paperwork because he was the one providing payment.
Me? No, I just had to give him my credit card number. You know?
I then asked Jerome if he was aware of the difficulty Jake later had to go through during the divorce to locate the exact cryobank where his sperm sample was kept and to request that it be destroyed.
Yeah, yeah. I heard something about that, yeah. I don't know why she thought it belonged to her. If anybody had claim to it as mine, I paid for it. I paid for the storage.
It feels as though a perfect storm of missteps and loopholes and overlooked protocols all had to align for this to happen. Darrow not only knew about the collection, but actively supported Ellen's request, assuring hospital staff that Jake would have consented and even covering the cost to store the sample. But that's where Daron's involvement ended.
What happened next remained a mystery, and one that complicated Jake's divorce proceedings.
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