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Something’s Burning: A “Pinch Me, I Must Be Dreaming” w/ Heather Locklear + Jillian Barberie | S5 E14
Tue, 27 May 2025 19:00:00 -0000
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My 15-year-old self would not believe that Heather Locklear + Jillian Barberie willingly showed up to my kitchen for a Korean meal and conversation… but it happened. These icons and I talked about sharks, therapy, Heather’s exes, and for the first time in Something’s Burning history – they asked for a to-go container. Nailed it. Follow Heather Locklear: https://www.instagram.com/heatherlocklear Follow Jillian Barberie: https://www.instagram.com/askjillian Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/burning or through my promo code BURNING. This episode is brought to you by Factor. Get started at https://factormeals.com/BERT50OFF and use code BERT50OFF to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. SUBSCRIBE so you never miss a video https://bit.ly/3DC1ICg Stream LUCKY on Netflix https://www.netflix.com/title/81713944 PERMISSION TO PARTY WORLD TOUR is on sale now: http://www.bertbertbert.com/tour For all things BERTY BOY PRODUCTIONS: https://bertyboyproductions.com For MERCH: https://store.bertbertbert.com/ Follow Me! Facebook: http://www.Facebook.com/BertKreischer Instagram: http://www.Instagram.com/bertkreischer YouTube: http://www.YouTube.com/user/Akreischer TikTok: http://www.TikTok.com/@bertkreischer Threads: https://www.threads.net/@bertkreischer X: http://www.Twitter.com/bertkreischer Text Me: https://my.community.com/bertkreischer Recipe: Roy Choi’s Bomb Kha Chowder and Drunken Kimchi Tofu Sifu Drunken Kimchi Tofu Sifu: See page 116 Bomb Kha Chowder: See page 139 Butter Kimchi Jam: See page 254 Soy Ginger Sauce: See page 244 Korean Crying Tiger Sauce: See page 246 GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), or visit www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $300 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Bonus Bets expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 6/22/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Pick6 not available everywhere, including, but not limited to NY and CA-ONT (for up-to-date list of jurisdictions please visit pick6.draftkings.com/where-is-pick6-available). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What Korean dish are they preparing?
Chapter 2: What experiences do they share about their past?
Is this the water? You know how I got this? Hugh Hefner's son, and it's brilliant. Somebody came up with this. They said nobody wants to drink water. They want to drink what looks like a beer. And so they invented this, and it's just water, but it looks like a beer, and they made a lot of money. I forget who he said it was. But Hugh Hefner's son told me that. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. Can I tell you, I keep getting, I get stuck on the fact. Yeah. What was Erin's spelling like? Very kind, very nice. Yeah? Mm-hmm. Do you watch, I know. He loved her. What did he, he called you his? Lucky penny. Lucky penny. Pennies aren't worth shit.
I can attest to that. No, she can polish a turd. I mean, she walks on a show, it's like, ka-bam, thank you. Oh, I'm like, I think Taco Bell. He didn't polish a penny. No, but think about what he put her on. He put her, what was your first? Oh, stop. It's enough. Okay. No, the whole reason is to talk about you. Yeah. To celebrate you. No, no, no.
No, you got, you did, you got on Dynasty. I mean, you know what's crazy is my daughters will never understand what television used to be. Right, right, true. When like 24 million people tuned in. Yeah.
No, crazy. With three networks. Mm-hmm. Three. No, we are on Channel 11. Oh, my God. That's it. Yeah, and Fox was brand new, actually. Remember? It was Joan Rivers. They gave her a late night. Cox put them on the map. But you were over at ABC, like, sparkling and dazzling with the ratings. Fox was not anything yet. Wait, did you... Are you good at auditioning? No. Really?
No, but I'm good at, like... Like walking and talking. I'm not good at that either. Just meeting. Meeting. Ad-libbing, I guess, or just meeting. No, or just meeting. Normal. Yeah, better in person, just talking. Then they go, oh, we'd like you to read now. And I go, oh.
I'm so bad at auditioning. Yeah. I did one audition where as I auditioned, I kind of walked out the door. I was like, this isn't going well. I didn't care about the audition, and I was just so nervous that after I'd leave, I would go get a shot of tequila. For real? Yep. I didn't care. I didn't care if I got it or not. I was just a mess. But did you have to audition a lot?
Like, I mean, you did. Yeah, always. Yeah. For real? Yeah. I know, isn't that crazy? Like, Melrose Place? No. No. Well, that was Aaron Spelling. Oh, that was also Aaron Spelling. Yeah. For Dynasty, Sammy Jo? Yes, yes. I wonder who else did you go up against? I think I went up against who's, what's her name? She's on the Housewives, or she was. Not Lisa Rema? Terry Thatcher?
I did. Oh. No, that was for something else, but I did go. Oh, yeah, that Housewives show. Something with her. Is that her name? Yeah. Hatcher. Terry Hatcher. Terry Hatcher. But no, that was Margaret Thatcher. She won. She got the part. Yes. They didn't want an accent in the show. Okay, there's a Kyle. Yeah. And then there's her blonde sister. Kim.
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Chapter 3: How do they handle sobriety and drinking?
Chapter 4: What are their thoughts on therapy and mental health?
There's something. Like cankles. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's weird for some.
And so I go, nice baggage, nice luggage. A put-together outfit, beautiful blonde hair, little side boob. And I went, whoa. I go, who is that? And then I notice everyone behind is staring at her. And by the way, they know me. I was staring at you. And then she leaves and I go, holy shit. was that Heather Locklear? And he goes, she looks amazing. I go, the guy behind, I go, I know, holy shit.
So then I have an obsession about celebrity. I don't know what it is. I'm just honest about it. Like if I see a celebrity, I get blown out of the water. Someone that I've known from my whole entire life, a sex symbol my entire life is in the same room I'm in. And did you say it?
I just walked up. I went, you're an absolute legend. And then she said, no, you're an absolute legend. And I went... And then I just went down on the side next to Peter and go, I don't know what the fuck I am. I mean, it was like crazy. You didn't see me peeking. I was like...
Oh, and then this is my favorite part, and this never gets the laugh it deserves, in my opinion. This is my favorite part, and I need every guy to pay attention. Now, you can be attractive. That happens to a lot of women. You can be cool, but to be funny, that's what sets you apart. Heather Locklear walks up to the thing. We're in those planes. There's 13 rows. Oh, yeah. And she goes...
Wait, where do you find the chair, the number? And I go, oh, they're down here. I go, what row are you? I'm in seat 11. There's only two seats behind me. She goes, 37F. And I started laughing so hard. Yeah. And I was like, this is... Yeah. Are you kidding? Yes.
Can I tell you my first thought, and I hope you don't get offended by this? Stupid ass. I go, there's no way Tommy Lee appreciated that personality. He did not. Okay, I was like, I know Tommy Lee, and I know sometimes things go past him. Yeah. And I was like, I go, I fucking hope Richie Sambora got her personality. He did not either. He did not.
Neither one of them. That's what makes her legend because she's so fucking funny. And I remember she went on Howard Stern one time. Oh, shit. Here we go. No, but you were. Is this down the throat? Yes, and the stuff that comes out of her mouth, which literally she said on the air, because Howard was like, isn't Tommy like, oh, he's so hung. And she's like, yeah.
I'm not going to say what she said on the air, but it was fucking hilarious. What did she say? That it came out of her mouth. And it was so big it came out of her mouth. And we would always get in trouble, but she's so much fun. When we first started hanging out, all I did was like really hanging out. She was maybe doing rehab and I was doing chemo. And we were down the street.
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Chapter 5: What celebrity encounters have they had?
Chapter 6: How do they feel about parenting and their childhood?
Chapter 7: What are their views on body image and health?
Terry Hatcher. But no, that was Margaret Thatcher. She won. She got the part. Yes. They didn't want an accent in the show. Okay, there's a Kyle. Yeah. And then there's her blonde sister. Kim. And then there's the... Oh, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy Hilton. Kathy Hilton? Kathy Hilton. You know Kathy Hilton? Yeah. Wait, Kathy Hilton?
I love her. I'm pretty sure that was her, yeah. That's crazy. Well, Kyle did act, and so did Kim. Escape from Witch Mountain. Great 70s show. But yeah, your kids, it's like Ava, her daughter, hasn't really seen anything, right? But she's been in stuff since she was younger. Yeah.
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Chapter 8: What are their favorite recipes and food preferences?
Yeah, of course. So now you've been beautiful your entire life. Now I'm fugly. No, you're beautiful. You're gorgeous. You're always beautiful. Even prettier. Oh, I gained 100 pounds, but I'm losing it now.
No, you're gorgeous. But when you lose your hair and you're going through cancer and you look in the mirror and you don't recognize Jillian, what's worse, being ugly for the first time or losing your house? Oh, God, losing my house. Really? Yeah. Because you're like, I'm bringing it back. I'll grow this hair out. I'm going to look hot again.
Because my kids were 9 and 11, and I was like, I don't give a fuck about tits. I don't, whatever. And get rid of them. I was very aggressive. And then as far as the hair, fuck it. It grows back. It grew back better. And yeah, I think when you start to look sick, it's not when your hair falls out. It's when you're
eyebrows and eyelashes go because you're like oh fuck and everything i'm already like a landing i mean i'm not even that i'm hardwood floors but i would take a bath and it'd be like a baby like your calluses come everything comes off and it's kind of like oh this is beautiful so i embraced it a little too much i uh started drinking quite heavily during that time and they're like oh yeah you're not supposed to drink when you're doing chemo i'm like got it totally won't
And then after chemo, they're like, is your husband here to pick you up? I go, absolutely. I get in my fucking car, drive home. I was just, and I did a radio show every day, ball. Didn't give a fuck because I wanted to live for my kids. I don't care if people thought I looked a certain way, looked good. I didn't feel a responsibility to keep up that image. I didn't give a flying fuck. Really? No.
Nice. Fucking listen to Leanne. Thank you, Leanne.
Huh?
Because you guys were coming over. It was very nice. Lovely looking woman. She was like, I'm with the big dogs today. She's beautiful anyway. How fun was rehab? Oh, which one? Which one? Wait, how many times have you been to rehab? Actually, I met some really great people that I'm still friends with. Really?
Yeah. And one of them actually had to go back and said, oh, Heather. I go, I'm not going back. It's like skydiving. It's more fun the first time. Yes, yeah. Yeah, and you learn. And then if you go the second time, which I have, and you go, oh, fuck, I know this shit. Okay, just give it the time. Be helpful to other people. And she is.
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