This week on Barely Famous Kail sits down with long time friends Cate and Tyler to discuss their journey into podcasting, the importance of authenticity, and the challenges of navigating family dynamics, particularly in relation to addiction. They share personal stories about their relationships with their parents, the impact of childhood trauma on their adult lives, and the necessity of setting boundaries for mental health and safety. In this conversation Cate and Tyler talk about their complex family dynamics, childhood trauma, and the impact of addiction on their relationships. They explore how these experiences shaped their lives and the importance of healing through understanding and communication. Tyler delves into the transformative effects of ketamine therapy, discussing its potential to rewire neural pathways and facilitate healing from trauma. The discussion also touches on the challenges of parenting in the context of addiction and how they deal with their fears about their children's futures. For more of Cate and Ty tune into their podcast Cate And Ty Break It Down For full video episodes head to patreon.com/kaillowry and to keep update with Kail and The Chaos subscribe to her newsletter at kaillowry.com Thanks for supporting the show by checking out our sponsors! Hiya: for 50% off their best selling children’s vitamin head to hiyahealth.com/famous Nutrafol: Start your hair growth journey with Nutrafol nutrafol.com promo code FAMOUS Shopify: Start your one dollar a month free trial period at shopify.com/famous HERS: start your initial free visit at fSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: Who are Cate and Tyler and what is their new podcast about?
Welcome to the shit show. Things are going to get weird. It's your fave villain, Kale Lowry. And you're listening to Barely Famous. All right, Kate and Ty, welcome to the Barely Famous Podcast. Hi. Thanks for having us. I should say, Kate and Ty break it down. Welcome to the Barely Famous Podcast.
Okay, drop it. Throw it out there.
For those of you guys who don't know, Kate and Ty just dropped their own podcast. Super excited. Yeah.
Super excited.
How did it go yesterday? Tell me in your own words.
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Chapter 2: How did Cate and Tyler's first podcast episode go?
I thought it was great. I mean, it was like, it was fine. Yeah. It was our first time, but we felt good about it.
I was at the airport getting like live updates and I was like, how did it go? Like, I just wanted to hear, cause I couldn't be here. Yeah. And everyone was like, it was so good. They were all super excited.
And I told them, I said, don't boast, don't call my ass. You better tell me when I'm messing up.
We will definitely tell you, but honestly, like podcasting is so fun because I feel like we just get like listeners get a longer glimpse into who you guys are as people because obviously it's a longer episode than what we get on. And
We had a little more freedom. Yeah.
Yeah. And it was nice to just like jump in and go full force.
Yeah.
Instead of just dipping our toes wet into little things. It was, we came here and it was like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
And this is better because the people we're talking to, it's like, we don't really know. We purposely don't want to know too much about them. I just want to like, I want to really like make it authentic. I want to feel real. I want it to feel just like you're chilling with us. hanging out talking like normal. I don't want it to be like really like, you know, news reporter.
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Chapter 3: What are the challenges of growing up with parents struggling with addiction?
My entire life to this day is affected by addiction.
Yeah. And how you're raised. Yeah.
And so it's really interesting that we have that in common. I feel like I always resonated with your story.
No, it's funny. I actually just, someone just saw a clip. I just saw a clip of when you first met your dad and went to his house. Oh my gosh. And me and Kate, I was like, dude, that was like my dad. I was like, that's kind of like our family.
Yeah.
I was just floored because I was like, what is happening? Because I had this fantasy in my head my entire life that my dad was like this knight in shining armor that was going to come save me when I was like whatever age he's going to come. He's going to find me and he's going to take me away from all the problems only to find out that like –
Damn.
He has a lot of problems too, right? Yeah, and also a lot of missing teeth. So I was just like, what's going on here?
No, but I saw the clip and I was like, dude, that is literally like our lives. That's what we were raised in. So it's funny that you went there like, whoa, what the hell?
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Chapter 4: How do Cate and Tyler manage their relationship with their parents now?
I don't think I knew about any of this. Was this like a public situation?
Yeah, it was – I mean she made a couple of quotes and stuff and then her little brother went on Instagram Live and did a whole like so much rumor stuff that just kind of got – it was like unnecessary. It was. I don't know where like what is going on. It was just really weird thing and so I think at that point it was like, all right, well, how could we consciously –
let you be a part of our lives when you actually are really just creating mess. Like for no reason, like I can't consciously do that. So until you get your shit together, what, I mean, it's not safe for us to really be around you. And that was on.
And she was like, listen, honestly, the year that you didn't talk to your mom was the, that's the only time that I really think about like, wow, you really stuck to your boundaries. Like it was without questioning yourself.
Because I made a promise to myself. There's been many times. And I feel like, you know, When you do grow up in addiction and you're so used to policing the environment so you feel safe, like... you know, she would start drinking around me or whatever. And I would just, I would just shut down. And I knew what my boundaries were to myself. Like get up and say, Hey, I'm leaving.
I'll see you in a few days or whatever you're having, you're drinking. I'm leaving, you know, but I wouldn't, I would sit there and I would just, he's like, I could physically see your body turn inward.
She would, she would, she would like, I could see her like she would hurt. She would literally make herself smaller on the couch. And I, so I would go up to her and just kind of like, Hey, are you, you want to leave? Like, you know what I mean? And it was, it was, it made me really uncomfortable because now I'm like,
all right, I know my wife is like not liking this and you're not my mom, so I can't like, it's your house. I don't know. I just felt really, it was like uncomfortable.
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Chapter 5: What boundaries have Cate and Tyler set for their mental health?
And you know what's so funny is like I grew up in so much chaos my whole entire life. One of my biggest dreams was like to have my own place. And it be safe and calm and nurturing. And so it's when I have chaos around, I tend to now just want to go home.
We retreat.
You know, I want to go home to my safe zone because I never felt safe as a kid ever.
What was your childhood like? I know your mom was an alcoholic, but what is the relationship with your dad?
My dad – Is he also an addict or no? No. No. My dad has always worked really hard, all the things. Of course, when I was growing up and I was younger, like a lot of my child memories are with my dad. I don't have a lot at my mom's house. All the ones being little, my moms are very traumatic, but with my dad – But they're separated. They were always – Yes. They were divorced? Yeah. Okay.
They were never married. My mom was 19. My dad was like 20 or 21 when they had me. So you grew up living with your dad most of the time? No, my mom. I lived with my mom. So why didn't you live with your dad? Because they separated when I was – before I was even one, I think. But if she wasn't stable and she was an alcoholic, was there ever an option for you to go live with your dad?
I know my mom and dad went to court when I was – Ten? Maybe a little younger than that. Yeah, eight, nine, or ten. My dad fought for a few years.
Was that after he moved to Florida?
No, before he moved to Florida, yeah. But my dad, he didn't do everything right. He very much so got into a relationship with a woman who was very toxic, gave me a lot of my self-confidence issues.
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Chapter 6: How does the trauma of childhood impact Cate and Tyler's parenting?
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I'm just sort of – Floored? Sorry. I threw all that on you. By the way. I'm just thinking about how addiction has impacted all three of us and none of us have went down that road. Thank God. Isn't that so interesting though? Like I don't know – I know addicts who came from really, really wealthy, well-to-do families. And they're struggling on the streets right now. And then we came from very –
tumultuous yes families and childhoods and we did not go down that path and I wonder what that was what what the difference is and I think it's and I think it's sad because you're like you know I didn't go down that path my stepsister didn't go down that path um
And some of my siblings did like my sister on my mom's side. She was an addict for a long period of time, addicted to pills, addicted to cocaine. Okay.
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Chapter 7: What are Cate and Tyler's experiences with ketamine therapy?
I do not want to know.
No, it brought up, it brought up stuff that like I had to read, not relive it, but I relived it from an outside. I almost felt like a ghost in the corner. Like an out of body. Yeah. Yes. Very out of body. Watching me get abused, watching me, uh, suicide, watching me like do all these things that I didn't know these things. Yeah. Well, I mean, now you do.
But like, it takes you really like stuff that, because honestly, our brain just does things to try to protect ourselves, right? So we will like, you know, we'll fortify it in a way where it's like, no, we don't remember that memory. We don't go in there.
Walk it out.
Yeah. So this really, which actually manifests physically, anxiety, depression, mood swings. PTSD. I have a belief, and this is just me thinking, but like, I really believe that those hidden stuff in subconscious actually presents itself as like,
bipolar like it messes with your neural pathway that affects everything in your life so when you when I was doing it it was like an out of body experience where I was like watching myself be abused and all these traumatic things and then at the very end of it I was able to kind of comfort those ages and
When you say abused, you mean like fit, like sexually abused. You were sexually abused.
Yeah.
Have you talked about that before? Yeah.
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