Cate
Appearances
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And she was drinking at the visit and I didn't want to call it out exactly right there in that moment, which I've learned through therapy wasn't the right thing. Wasn't? Wasn't. That my therapist said you should have stood up right in that moment and said, hey, listen, if you're going to drink, you need to leave.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Not in front of her. Maybe pull him on the side. In the vicinity. As soon as you see it happening, you speak on it. Right. But my thinking in that moment was, I'm going to wait. We only have one more day. And after this visit, I'm bringing it up to her. Okay. And so after the visit happened, we said our goodbyes. The next morning, I woke up. to a text message from my mom's mom.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And she was basically going off on me saying like, the way you treat your mom is disgusting. This is before I even said anything to my mom or anything.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Dude, she just said all this nasty stuff to me and everything. And then so I was I literally just woke up, got that. So then I reached out to my mom. I sent her. I said, your mom's fucking crazy. And for two, I don't appreciate you. I called her out on it. And I said, I do not appreciate like I let you into one of the most intimate things in my life.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And, you know, my boundaries and you did it anyways. And she said, well, I didn't think it was that big of a deal because other people were having drinks, too. And I said, they're not the alcoholic. They're not the one that traumatized me. And one of the reasons why my child is where she is, because I didn't have any support. And so it just it really blew up. But I think I need that.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
I needed to feel what it was like to be strong and to not rely on her for anything, you know. Yeah. And that's when we didn't talk for like a year. And so now it's just very slow moving and it's for the kids and same thing, like Tyson, not wanting to have any regrets with, with his dad.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
I don't want to have any with my mom either, but she needs to understand what I will tolerate and what I will not anymore. Absolutely. You know, and I stand firm in that, but if, Again, if there's a safe way where the kids can be involved and she can be involved, then I'm cool with that.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
But I kind of hated myself in a sense. I felt like a part of it was my fault at the Carly dinner. Because there were so many times before that where she knew my boundaries and she would do it in front of me and I would never call it out. And so I think she was so used to that pattern. Of course, she's going to think, oh, I can do this and she's not going to call it out because she never has.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
She's been to multiple family weeks when I've been in treatment. She knows what she has done, you know? Does she ever acknowledge any of it? She has. Yes, she definitely has. She's acknowledged. She's apologized. She's, you know, all of the things. But, you know, I think one of her problems is too that she doesn't do all the therapy for all the shit she went through as a kid.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And if a month later you're cussing me out and saying bad shit about my husband again. You were never really sorry. Exactly. Yeah. Because at that point it's a choice. Like you're choosing to do that. And my clause came out with that too. It's like, how dare you? This man has supported me through everything. My whole life, basically. We've been together for 17 years.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
I have four beautiful daughters with this man. And if you think that I would stay in a relationship with a man that controlled me and I just listened to everything that he said, you're out of your fucking mind.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
My mom and I did have a conversation. Yeah. And she was pissed. She was pissed. And you know, my mom is very abrasive. She says hurtful things. She, you know, but then once she got all that out, she kind of got to the point of like, I'm so sorry, you know? So I let her have her moment of she's pissed and I'll fuck them. She's just very blunt about all that.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And then she turned it around and was like, I'm so sorry. You know, like, and I mean, it's, yeah, it's just, it's always something.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And you know what's so funny is like I grew up in so much chaos my whole entire life. One of my biggest dreams was like to have my own place. And it be safe and calm and nurturing. And so it's when I have chaos around, I tend to now just want to go home.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
You know, I want to go home to my safe zone because I never felt safe as a kid ever.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
My dad – Is he also an addict or no? No. No. My dad has always worked really hard, all the things. Of course, when I was growing up and I was younger, like a lot of my child memories are with my dad. I don't have a lot at my mom's house. All the ones being little, my moms are very traumatic, but with my dad – But they're separated. They were always – Yes. They were divorced? Yeah. Okay.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
They were never married. My mom was 19. My dad was like 20 or 21 when they had me. So you grew up living with your dad most of the time? No, my mom. I lived with my mom. So why didn't you live with your dad? Because they separated when I was – before I was even one, I think. But if she wasn't stable and she was an alcoholic, was there ever an option for you to go live with your dad?
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
I know my mom and dad went to court when I was – Ten? Maybe a little younger than that. Yeah, eight, nine, or ten. My dad fought for a few years.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
No, before he moved to Florida, yeah. But my dad, he didn't do everything right. He very much so got into a relationship with a woman who was very toxic, gave me a lot of my self-confidence issues.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
She was very mean to me, emotionally abusive. I mean, there were some physical things, but not like hitting, but other.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Would tell me that I was fat and overweight and I couldn't eat certain things. This was your stepmom?
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Are they still together? No. But they were married for like 11 years. Oh, that's a long time. And so I was a kid.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
But I was going, yeah. And I would go to my dad's every other weekend. And my dad would pick me up from school every Wednesday. And it would be just me and him. And we would go on a lunch date or whatever.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Um, my dad is very regretful in the choices that he has made and he has apologized numerous times and you know, I forgive him for that because he has shown me actions, you know, he makes it a point to be in my life. He calls me once or twice every, every single week and we'd have, you know, we talk on the phone and, um, there was action after his, sorry.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Like there was like actions. And so I really have, you know, I've forgiven him for that. Um, are you his only child?
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
I have a brother. Why am I just now learning this? We don't have, none of us have a relationship. It's actually really sad. Yeah. Even your little brother? No. And he was the one I was closest with. So what it is is on my mom's side, it's me, I have a sister, and my youngest brother, Nick.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And also too, like when stuff is aired about us, we can go into the facts and this is what happened behind the scenes that the cameras didn't air or they didn't catch. And yeah, we can just kind of explain it more clearly.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
I have, yeah. So on my mom's side, it's us three. It's me, my sister, and my brother. I'm the oldest, my sister's the middle, and my little brother's the youngest. On my dad's side, he had a son when he was like 16 years old. Um, he's four or five years older than me and I didn't meet him until I was like nine, eight or nine.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Um, I remember waking up one day and this kid was there and I remember him looking over a bunk bed and I was like, Oh, this is your brother. Yeah. So, like, the trauma.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
So, I guess... Have you ever said this story out loud? Yeah. Have you? I mean, I feel like I have.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Probably only Tyler. I was like, dude, what? And the sad thing about my brother is... He lived with a very not mentally well mother. She was a teen mom, obviously. My dad was 17. My dad didn't know that he had a son for many years, found out he had a son. This just keeps getting worse. Yeah. My brother now is very – it's sad.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
He's just – my dad has nothing to do with him, wants nothing to do with him because he is – mentally ill as an addict and all of the things and you wonder why. And I feel bad for my brother. I was, I built a relationship with him when I was like 12, 13 years old and I fell in love with him. We were so close. We, you know, talked all the time. He lived with my dad actually for a while.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
for a few years when he was growing up and then he got to the age of 18 and my dad said, his wife basically said he needs to get a job or he needs to leave. And my brother ended up leaving and it's just been very toxic for him. But, and then on my dad's side, there's a little brother and my stepsister, Amber. which was my dad. Don't you also have an Amber?
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Okay. Yeah. But my steps, my stepsister is my dad's toxic ex wife's daughter. Got it. Um, but her and I, it's funny cause I don't have a relationship with any of my siblings except for her. Yeah, and they're divorced now, but I still... Ever since I was, you know... I think I was like three and she was four when they got married. So my whole life, she was my sister.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
I think being older is when we've gotten way closer. When we were younger, we used to fight and, you know, like sisters would and stuff, but...
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
My last, you know, our last name and everything. Do they still have a relationship now? Oh yeah, they do. That's my dad's daughter. She has a daughter. That's his granddaughter. You know, she... She doesn't have a relationship with her bio dad or anything. And so that's all she has known is my dad since the age of four, you know. But her and I have a very close relationship.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
But her mom was so, like, disgusting to her that she said one time her mom – looked at her because her boyfriend broke up with her and she said to her something to the fact of, you're just jealous because all your boyfriends want me. Like, nasty. She's one of those narcissists. She is the loopy. Like, she's... When you meet this lady, it's almost like she's fucked up on pills 24-7.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
She's airy, out there, says weird shit. Like... It's just been lots of trauma on that side. But my sister has nothing to do with her mom. She can't stand her. She has cut her out of her life completely.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
She does nothing to do with her. And her and I are the closest. We're not even blood related.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And some of my siblings did like my sister on my mom's side. She was an addict for a long period of time, addicted to pills, addicted to cocaine. Okay.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Yeah. My oldest brother, he, he has an addiction problem. He's actually been sober just going on two years now, most recently. Um, and I like applaud him for that. Um, and, My brother on my dad's side, the littlest one, he's definitely addicted to weed, you know, so it's like. There's, yeah, addiction runs rampant on both sides of our family.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
That's why we have to be very careful when we talk, you know, we talk to our kids openly about all the things.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And honestly, I'm like, if this is trauma bonded, then I'm glad I'm in it. But we've all, you know, but, um, I think, and I don't think people understand, but before cameras came around, you know, and ever caught it, caught us where we were at in our lives, uh, Ty and I, we did bond on a form of just like, damn, like your life's crazy. My life's crazy.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And we, but that's, that's like bonding over the traumas.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And also you can ask Dr. Mike Dow. Oh, yeah. Wait, who's that?
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Oh, for sure. Wait, what does it look like? I've never done it. I'm too scared. What does he look like? When he came home, he was totally fine.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Can you explain what that was though? Like you literally saw your older self.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Wait, you can't get addicted to those things? I think people can get addicted, but I think what he means is it takes... So much mentally and emotionally and physically. I haven't met one. You don't want to do it every single day. So it's not sort of like... Micro dosing is different.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Yeah, so it was us and a big group of friends, and we lived in our trailer, which was shown on TV. Yeah, we lived in our trailer, and we were all like, all right, we're going to take it, not knowing that it takes like an hour or so to kick in.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
So then all of a sudden, we're like, well, let's go. It hasn't kicked in yet. What does it look like? It's just like a little piece of paper, a little square piece of paper, and you put it on your tongue. And it didn't kick in for a while. And we're all like, well, we should probably like eat before this kicks in, you know? So me and my friend Casey, me and Casey go. Oh, yeah, that's right.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Me and Casey go to McDonald's to get McDonald's for everybody.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And I'm sitting in there. And I remember looking out the window and saying, Casey? And he's like, yeah. I'm like, the clouds are moving. He's like, they always move. I go, no, dude. Like supersonic speed clouds, you know? And then we get back to the trailer park. It has hit everybody. We had McDonald's. Nobody ate shit.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Because you can't eat nothing. And it lasted for seven hours. I was so paranoid. I was hiding in the bedroom in the dark. I thought I was going to sleep. You hated it. Hated it. I'm like, I need to go to sleep.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Oh. People were laughing in the living room and I felt the laughter. I felt the sounds were vibrating through my body, dude. Like vibrating.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
When Casey dragged me outside and I was like, this is beautiful.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And I have a vivid memory of sitting on the couch, still paranoid, and Tom's looking at me like, it's just a drug, man. It's just a drug, man.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
You have therapy sessions before you even do the ketamine therapy.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
No, you've done it twice. You did one in Michigan and then you went with Dr. Mike Dow.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
I came to visit at the end and we had a session, me, him, and Dr. Mike, about like what he found out about himself and us even came up.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
At your own discretion. Yeah. And some people say like, hey, I have to go and do a session like every six months. Or sometimes you get to the point where it's like, oh, I only do it once a year or once every three years.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Yeah. But I mean just the statistics alone, it's literally curing people's PTSD. Curing it. Curing anxiety and depressive orders. Soldiers who couldn't listen to fireworks. Yeah. Like it's literally curing it. And they have proof, like statistic proof of it.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And sometimes I brought up to him like, do you think you're having a manic episode? Do you think, you know, because there's times where out of nowhere he can't sleep for months. Yeah. And he struggles with it. There's times where he's just angry and doesn't know why.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And so, and I don't blame him as a wife and he's, you know, when he said, I would personally love to try all of the natural resources there are to me. I said, I support you in that.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Like, I do not blame you at all. Now, I'm different. Medication saved my life. Absolutely. Yeah. You know? And I still take it to this day, and it absolutely saved my life. Mm-hmm. If I wasn't such a bitch and scared and have anxiety, maybe I'd try some ketamine. No, that shit scares me, because I like going back to anxiety. I like to be in control of my body.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
That's your own stuff. Mm-hmm. You do what makes you feel comfortable.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
The question is, do you ever freak out about that? I don't know how you are on time, but... Freak out about... Oh, I don't care. Okay, do you ever freak out about one of your children becoming an addict? Yes, I think about it to this day.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
All addicts are trying to numb themselves from something.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
But you know what also too is sometimes people can have trauma and they speak about it and people look at them and say, how, that's not even that bad. How's that trauma? But to them, it's the most intense thing they've ever experienced in their lives. Even if it seems small to us or we're like, what, really? To them, it's the biggest issue of their lives or one of them.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Right, you're only sick for four years, but a person could be like, no, that ruined me.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
That's why in treatment they always say, don't judge people for their trauma, because trauma at the end of the day is trauma. Even if it seems small to you, it's big to them.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
But if you're talking like alcohol, heroin, cocaine, like hardcore drugs, I mean, 9 out of 10, I'm like a major intervention lover. Every single episode you watch, it's either divorce, it's a sexual abuse, it is not having their parents. It's always linked to trauma.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Yeah, because through my therapy, there was stuff that came out that I was like, wow, I never would have looked at that as trauma.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
I think that my whole life was that way until I started therapy. No, it is, right? I was like, oh, I thought this happened to Ellen. Yes. And there were some things where I was like, holy shit, like that is traumatic as hell. And I needed therapy to really realize those things, you know?
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And sometimes our parents, like my mom hasn't, maybe your mom hasn't, but they don't go to therapy to figure it out. what was it for them either? So then sometimes they don't know. I don't think my mom's ever been a therapy that I know of.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And also I think from a young age, I always had a drive of
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
my kids will never have this I'm going to do like I always had that thought process I always wanted to be a mom and I wanted to do things differently so I just lived by that I feel like you're given two paths when you grow up in households like us it's either I go down the same path or worse as them or I do completely opposite yeah I don't I think
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
it does it does podcasting can be like therapy right so where can people find your podcast and where can people find you on social media kate and ty break it down it's all of our social medias um tiktok instagram twitter um anywhere and um spotify apple anywhere you listen to podcasts well thanks for coming on barely famous thanks for having us
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Um, with my mom now it's, is she sober? Um, I don't know, but I don't police it enough. All I know is that I gave her strict boundaries on the fact of, I don't want you drinking around me and I don't want you drinking around the kids. And you know, you're an adult. If that's something you want to do, just let me know.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And I know not to come over or I know that you want to have some drinks and I will come pick my kids up or whatever, you know? Um, but it's very, We've been through a lot. We went through a lot, like, on this past season, and I cut her off for, like, a good year. I just couldn't take it anymore.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And now it's kind of slowly progressed into having conversations, and she comes over to my house and sees the kids, and honestly... Who opened that door was Nova. And her and I had this conversation and she just said, I really miss her. I really miss my grandma. And I was like, well, fuck. Like, is there any way that I can do this in a way that makes me feel safe and I know my children are safe?
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And so... My mom has come over to our house a few times for like barbecues and to see the kids. And there's been like two or three times where I'll drop the older two off of my mom's house just for the day. I'm not comfortable with overnights yet. And she knows that. I let them hang out for a few hours. I go there, pick them up, bring them home.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Like whatever makes me feel safe and comfortable, I'm okay with. And I think that's maybe what needed to happen for my mom to realize like I'm not doing this anymore this back and forth the me not speaking when I'm uncomfortable or I'm showing up and you're drinking and I don't say anything and I stay but I'm anxious like I'm not doing it anymore for myself and
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
So it's been slowly progressing into a relationship, but I'm just literally taking it super slow.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And I've noticed like she reached out to me and said, hey, I would love to start doing like a weekly thing. I come over once a week. We do dinner or we make pies or we do...
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Yeah. And it was nice to just like jump in and go full force.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Because I made a promise to myself. There's been many times. And I feel like, you know, When you do grow up in addiction and you're so used to policing the environment so you feel safe, like... you know, she would start drinking around me or whatever. And I would just, I would just shut down. And I knew what my boundaries were to myself. Like get up and say, Hey, I'm leaving.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
I'll see you in a few days or whatever you're having, you're drinking. I'm leaving, you know, but I wouldn't, I would sit there and I would just, he's like, I could physically see your body turn inward.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
Instead of just dipping our toes wet into little things. It was, we came here and it was like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
oh my god now i gotta emotionally monitor her and make sure you know so eventually yeah so for me it just got to a point where i was like i'm not i'm doing myself a disservice yeah like by not sticking to my boundaries and so i made a promise to myself that i was i'm never doing that again i will call it out every time i see it and so my mom and i had a conversation about that um we met up for lunch one time and had a conversation
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And I laid out my boundaries again. And that was after we didn't talk for like six months. We met up, had a conversation, and I just was basically like, we can move forward, but these are my boundaries again. And this is what I will not deal with. Fast forward like a month or two after we had that conversation, it was the Carly visit was happening.
Barely Famous
Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty
And my mom and I, you know, we're kind of still going through it a little bit, but we were talking and stuff again in the mending process. Yeah. And so we had the Carly visit and two times during that visit, she was drinking. At the visit.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Well, and like you said, it comes from just people being uneducated about postpartum depression. And then also, you look at it now, I mean, now we're, you know, as we've dug even deeper about the adoption stuff, I never knew that... you know, first moms or birth moms, they have a way higher likelihood of having postpartum depression when they go to parent their children.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Um, and of course, now that I'm like older and think about it, I'm like, of course, that's totally logical. Like, how could you not, you know, uh, your body remembers all the stuff that you went through with this baby that you placed. Of
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
subconscious shit yeah it was just like your body remembers the score yeah your nervous system like yeah because even after we got married and stuff too i still had it like people think that postpartum depression is only for a few months or it only and it depends on the person it can last up to like over a year with some people some of them longer yeah and um there's
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
very much different degrees of postpartum depression, too. I think mine was just, like, anxiety.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I mean, that's definitely how it was. Um, I think I couldn't feel anything. I was just there. If that makes sense.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
That's like, I remember when my great grandma died and I was like, Yeah. Neutral. Yeah. Very neutral.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
You don't have to worry about, you know, people figuring out who you are or whatever.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Well, don't beat yourself up too bad about it. I mean, we all didn't know what was going on.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So I know like you were talking about what you wanted to talk about certain things that happened on the show. I was thinking about talking about like mental health stuff.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
a change of thinking or mind eventually because it wasn't even documented. But I mean, when you came up to our room, you know, um, when I was upstairs laying in bed and you just said, something's wrong. Are you okay? And then they gave me the freedom where I just broke down. I was like, no, I don't think I'm okay. Like, I think something's wrong here.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Right. Something's gotta change. Well, I remember you were the very, you were a driving force to being like, we're going to go see a psychiatrist. Like there's people you can talk to, you know, all of the things because, and also I feel like that's, it was a blessing that I had you in my life during that time because you, your mental health journey started at a younger age.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So you kind of knew about seeing, seeing psychiatrists and therapists and things like, things like that. Mine literally just smacked me in my face. I was like 20 or 21 or something. Yeah. And I never experienced anything like that in my entire life. So I was like, what is this feeling? This is scary, you know? So, And you knew kind of the steps to push me in the right direction to help myself.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I mean, it does. You hear these stories on the news of that one, you know, the one mom killing all three of her kids and jumping out of the window trying to kill herself. There's been a newer story, too, about this mom shooting all of her kids and then shooting herself. And they're all linked back to postpartum depression.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And it's because there aren't enough resources out in the world to help women. I mean, you go to your doctors and you answer, like, a test. And if you still...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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comes up that you feel like you have postpartum they're like here's some pills but nobody directs you into like here's you need to go to therapy it's normal it's okay here's support like there needs to be more support for women after birth yeah
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I mean, it might be a little less because you haven't heard of therapy and shit. It's hard as work.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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But, but I don't think people realize too, when you talk about being the other person and watching your person that you love too, those people need support too. Like the caretaker, you know, the, I didn't know about it at all.
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shit. And it was like 10 months. Yeah. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And I think... Yeah, like I said, I vividly remember you go to your OB, answer like a little spreadsheet, yes or no questions, one out of ten. And they're like, oh, you're okay, or oh, you're mild, or oh, you're severe. And it's like, well, here, go, you know, you have to get on Zoloft or whatever. And it's like, yeah, okay, but... What about support groups or psychiatrists or just counseling?
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I don't know because, I mean, when I was in treatment and the doctor there was like, I think you should know, do you want to do genetic testing? And he explained it to me about how, yeah, you don't have to do the guinea pig stuff and you find out what works for your body. I was like, abso-fucking-lutely.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah, my insurance wouldn't cover it, but I was like, I don't care. Like, that's important to me. And then I got the results back and he was like, you were on 200 milligrams of Zoloft and your body was only metabolizing like 20, 25 milligrams. And I was on the highest dose and I was like, oh my gosh, it makes complete sense.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And even with him, he was like, of course, you're still experiencing all these things, even when you're doing therapy and stuff. And so...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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They weren't gone. And now we know why. And then when my results came back that the medication I was taking wasn't even working for my body, we switched my medications, all of that, continued on with therapy. And honestly, it literally changed my life.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Changed my life. Because now I'm on the lowest dose of an antidepressant medicine that you can take. And I don't feel like a zombie. I still have emotions and feelings. I can still have conversations. And I just feel... Honestly, it saved my life, I feel like.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah, it really... It changed my life, for sure. And I think, you know... it's been a journey for me, but I feel like it, people are always, you know, I see people say like, Oh, you're, you were so selfish and you left Tyler to take on everything. And I'm glad you were. And yada, yada, yada.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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But I, my whole thing too, going into it though, was like, if I'm not a hundred percent me, I can't even be nothing for my children, let alone my husband or myself. Like I want to be the best that I can be, you know?
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I had to do it. And believe me, it ain't no fucking vacation or walk, like a cakewalk when you're at those places. There was lots of tearful nights, tearful days, clinging onto Nova's little stuffed animal all the time. You know what I mean? Because you're working, it's very intense.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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very and you're missing your family and your family can't always come to for visits and you know fuck I was there for fucking Christmas when you like that shit sucked Thanksgiving you know what I mean like it fucking sucked but I knew I had to do it for myself so that way I could be 100% me to then show up as a wife and as a mom um and It was scary, but it definitely... It changed my life.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And I've commented or even said stuff to people before where I'm like, oh, okay, so Nova could have a mom that was gone for six weeks, 12 weeks, or she could have a dead mom.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Well, you could tell that I was okay. I was getting my shit to... You're good.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And it wasn't about... Which, by the way, he actually spent the night at my house a lot. He couldn't leave. Ha! I was like, I thought we were supposed to be, like, separated, and you're still coming over here every night. I couldn't help it. I can't help it.
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Well, no, but I just felt like also, too, it was just very, like, weight-driven. Like, the whole story was about, like, my weight. And I'm like, why is this a subject? Especially when I just had a baby, mind you. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And I know it was hard for you too. Like it was a hard thing, you know? Um, but I feel like I was like, if you feel like that's something that you need for yourself, um, then do it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I was like, he loves me. But I do remember there was a part of me, like when I was at my mom's one time and, um, my friend showed up at my mom's house and I remember like crying and I was like, What if he divorces me? Who's going to want to be with somebody who has two kids? I was so scared. Remember how I would most of the time be like, you're going to divorce me.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And you deserved the time to – I mean, yeah, because me leaving put a lot – On your shoulders.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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No, it makes sense for your own mental health.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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It was longer than a week, but you would come over and spend the night.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And then we're talking about weight. Like, that's not good for any female.
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Well, I feel like it's important when you were going through that just to feel like you needed to do whatever was necessary for your own self.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I think her therapist just deep down hated me, honestly. No. I do. I always got bad vibes from her. Really? Yeah. You did? No way. Swear. I was like, she is fucking warping his brain.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah. That's why I'm just a weak-ass bitch.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Right. Because we... And honestly, we have sat down with very, very smart professionals and asked the question if we were trauma-bonded, and we got the word, absolutely not.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
We need to get him on here and talk to us about trauma-bonding. Yes. So everyone knows. To put the record straight.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Because he was like, absolutely not. The bad trauma bonded is when you're like abusing each other and be, you know, just very toxic things.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So it's like, okay, so if you're going through something hard and I'm supporting you and loving you and doing good things for you to make you feel better, that's trauma bonded. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Oh, that's interesting. Like we said before in previous episodes where we would say stuff and they're like, that's interesting. We're like, what? How? How is that interesting?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Like I said before, and people will hear me probably say it a lot on here, is like, well, I sleep good at night next to you. And I enjoy our cuddles and our snuggles. So, you know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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This year will be what? 18 years. Yeah, and we've done a lot of work throughout all of the years, you know? So, of course.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Right, like, do we have disagreements? Of course. Can we talk about them? Of course.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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No, I think the only fight I can ever recall was the one time... Do you remember that?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Oh, no, I think I was pregnant with Carly at that time, wasn't I? I don't know. The only one I can think of, so, yeah, is that one when I threw the keys at your face.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And then the other one when we were drinking, though, this was before kids or anything, drinking.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah, and we, like, got in a fight in Ryan Terhune's car. And then I was, like, walking down the street.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah, and then you were chasing me, and then we got home. Home back. Got home, and then we were arguing about, like, who each other followed on fucking Facebook.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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By the way, we were not drunk driving. We had to drive.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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We have a conversation and we always come to a conclusion. I think me and you are...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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both the same in the sense of like i would i cannot go to sleep without having a fucking conversation and coming to a conclusion even if that inclusion is like you can do it but i just don't agree with it or whatever but i cannot can like i gotta figure out a solution right now yeah and i think it's important because it's like one of those old cliche things but don't go to sleep mad at each other that's a legit thing well that's my personality though i wouldn't be able to just sit next to you in bed i'd be like i'd be like
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Just sweeping the shit under the rug. It's always going to come back up and bite you, by the way.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Absolutely not. One thing going back to mental health, though. I do remember my first psych class in college, learning about... how if you're going to have a mental illness um it always typically comes before the age of 22 when you will have like a mate like that that by that time if you pass 22 it's like way less likely for you to come and have a mental health illness or whatever
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And I remember being so mad that I fucking didn't make it one year. I was like, this is some bullshit. It had to be handed to me right at fucking 21. I mean, I look at my childhood and shit, everything that I went through, adoption, all of that. I'm like, of course, how could I not? Fuck. But I remember being pissed about that. I'm like, wow. If it would have just waited one fucking year.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And I don't think people realize that it literally I've never experienced anything like that in my life. And then to literally be woken up out of a steep sleep with the I thought I was having a heart attack. I went to the hospital three times, made them give me EKGs. I didn't know what the fuck was happening.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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It was it was bad. But thankfully, years and years out of it. I'm glad that I went through what I went through because now I'm so freaking self-aware. Like, I can tell to a T, like, oh, I need to call my counselor or, you know, like.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yep. I got to talk to somebody, process this with somebody.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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It's all about learning and growth and, you know, learning about what tools you need and all of that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Thanks. Well, thank you for being there for me.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Let's just hope Nova doesn't carry any trauma from that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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In one way or another, right? In one way or another. Okay. So.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah. I do have one more thing to say about it, but I don't know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Well, one of my things is what also is like fucked up with the world. We talked about postpartum depression and there being no, you know, like not a lot of things out there for women as far as help when it comes to that. I think another really messed up part is if you do not have money. I know. And you have a mental health illness, they want you to stay sick. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Because the amount of money that I spent out of my own pocket for my mental health is ridiculous.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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So they want the poor to stay sick and poor, and they want the rich to stay mentally well and rich.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And that's horrible. It is. Any Joe Smoe from the walks of any part of the earth that is struggling with mental health deserves to get help.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Right. It's like, oh, of course. And what's an awkward spin on it? It's like, why? I wouldn't really be talking about this while I'm eating dinner.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Because like I said, Nova could have a dead mom.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Or a mom that had to go somewhere to put in some work.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And I don't think people realize that. Like, I literally was at the point where I was like, I cannot live another day like this. Like, I would rather be dead.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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When in fact it's like, no, I just have a bunch of shit in here that I can't figure out on my own, but I need to figure it out. That shit should be free. There was a few times where I was like, I'm about to go check myself into the loony bin in New Baltimore. You were like, absolutely not. I'm like, well, I need to go somewhere. Shit. I need a sticky grip sock vacation in the fucking hospital.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Padded room vacation. That's where I was at. Straight up. Tell you what, this sounds good right now. I need a 72-hour hold. No, I'm just kidding. Oh, shit. So I did get some unlicensed advice questions. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I love it. Okay. So I wrote down four different questions, but one is how do you have a relationship with a toxic parent without getting hurt?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah, how I needed to be held accountable because I do need help with those certain things.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah. Like for instance, so with my mom, you know, I had to create boundaries in order to make myself feel comfortable and safe. And my boundaries with her is just don't drink around me and don't drink around my kids. If you're going to drink, let me know ahead of time and I'll say, all right, I'll come over. We'll get together next weekend or whatever. I'm not saying you can't ever drink. Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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You know, because then that's me trying to control her.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And make yourself feel powerful in enforcing it. In doing it, yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And unfortunately, too, I think to other advice for this person is... You know, if your parent is not respecting your boundaries, then you might have to step away for a while and just say, like, if it's her still hurting you in a sense, then and they're not respecting what you asked to make you feel safe.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Then I think you need to kind of cut ties with that person temporarily or permanently or whatever feels right to you. Yeah. And kind of reevaluate after the fact.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Um, okay. I have another one, another one that said, um, how do I talk to my partner about not being satisfied in the bedroom without hurting them? Hmm.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Right. And just go into it. Maybe go into it in the fact of like, we're going to make our sex life fire.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Right. So I, cause it is hard. I can understand.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah. So I can get where she's like, I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel inadequate.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Oh, I couldn't, yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? I understand what you're saying, yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Cause there might be things he's not telling you.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Well, you got to be real and talk to each other.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And, like, so when I saw her question, too, I was like, how? Well, like, what would I do in that situation?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I was thinking, like, if I was in that situation, like, when we were getting it on, I'd be like, oh, like, talk even in that sense when it's happening. Like, oh, when you do this, it feels really good.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Or, oh, that hurt. Don't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, you know, because you don't have to be, like, silent.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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It's, like, quiet in the middle of being intimate. Like, speak about what feels good, what doesn't feel good.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Or you're just like, oh, I don't really like that. I don't like that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Okay, I think we have said that before.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I guess it would have to lead you into conversation. Why? Yeah, why don't you like that? Yeah, why? Why don't you like that?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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So there needs to be some honest communication happening.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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So that way you have options to like, well, so that way you have a very productive conversation about the issue.
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I'm like, Oh yeah, not help me at all. So I'm not doing it right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I think the biggest one that I see the most is people always play that scene where you're like, well, I don't want a heifer for a wife.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And then you have a mediator where you don't have to feel like you're hurting his feelings or something, you know?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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All right, so the last one that I thought was good, and obviously this person is wanting to go about this the right way. I wasn't really, it's kind of a hard one for me, but they said, I'm wanting to adopt, but we are struggling with trying to find the most ethical options. In your opinion, do you think there's any ethical adoption? Hmm.
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but they don't know the backstory of it. Like, it's not like you met, it's not like you were saying that I'm a heifer. I'm going to be a heifer, you know, but I feel like that's how people take it. Like we, we joke around shit like that all the time. Like you always say like, well, I'm sure you wouldn't want getting down and dirty with somebody who's got a big old beer belly.
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Because a slave probably shouldn't adopt.
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So yesterday I was speaking on a live with a few adoptees that we talked to. I was on live with them. And then also this birth mom on there, or not this birth mom, this adoptive mom that's on there. And her herself, she said, you know, she adopted her son recently. It was through like foster care stuff. But she even said in turn, if she could go back, she would even do things differently.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And she said, I would do like a legal permanent guardianship. She said, because then his birth certificate would have stayed the same. A lot of his rights would have stayed the same. But I still would be considered like a parent to be able to make all the decisions for him. But and I was like, wow, that was very shocking to me. And I was like, I'm very proud of you for saying that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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No, I know. And I forgot I did. I posted another like what juicy juicy secrets thing today. And, um, because I always think it's so fun to like, yeah. Uh, And I forgot to look at it. I posted it this morning.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Because even she, you know, and she is a very open adoption person.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Right. And so I thought it was interesting, this person that wrote, she's like, she's not finding any ethical options. And it's like, because... Because there's not.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Right, or is it just to become a parent?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And then it also just reiterates what adoptees think. Like, oh, they saved me and I need to be grateful.
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Or start the process of it. Yeah. Because it's got to be very painful.
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Or be like a very great foster parent to help their biological family get on their feet and do the parenting classes.
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Well, right. Because I don't like TikTok and stuff. They'll edit it, you know.
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Yeah, because my first thought to her question, I was like, well, permanent legal guardianship. Yes. That's the only way that I see it being ethical. Because then that gives the birth parent some rights, too, and some protection, and also the child.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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So that was my thing that came to my mind. But all right, guys. Well, thank you so much for joining us and listening to this episode. Make sure you like and follow everywhere that you can listen to podcasts. And we just, again, appreciate all the love and the support that we've received. And it's been fun.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
All right. We'll talk to you guys next week. Have a good one. Bye. Bye.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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You'll never be able to live that down.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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No, I do not think that you called me a heifer.
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great yeah so glad because i remember thinking like you don't like there's no way like i hope that never came across like i was calling you people must really think that i'm just like some abused pushover you don't know that blows my mind i have no clue because as far as just like how we talked in the last episode about you forcing me to do an adoption now you're calling me a heifer and i just stay with you what the fuck like do people must really think i'm like a weak bitch
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Well, and I think for me, it was just like, why is this? I just don't understand why it's becoming the whole part of my life. My life is so much more than me, like wanting to lose weight before I get married, you know?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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yeah something something happened yeah but yeah but i do i do recall though like i had my gestational diabetes on point you did like yeah i was very because it scared the shit out of me do you remember when i went in there i was like crying like oh my god what are we gonna do i can't eat chicken strips with ranch like that was my shit you know but so no i was very and um
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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So I really like that, you know, Tyler and I, we can create polls and ask you guys questions or, you know, we really want to do a segment called like unlicensed advice because we're both not therapists, but we can kind of give you what we would do in a certain scenario or situation.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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So at that point, when I found out that I had gestational diabetes, I was, like, so anal about tracking stuff. And my sugars were so good. And I ended up not gaining any weight after that because I was so, like, it scared me.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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That's when people, like, play, like, seem to take it in. But it wasn't like that. I was concerned.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I was going to say, you're more or less concerned for me, my well-being, and the child that is ours that I'm carrying.
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You're a very like, I know you, you know, so it's like they don't. Right. And I know you on such a deep level where, you know, you're very blunt and very just like, oh, you know what I mean? But I know what how you are. And also people don't see behind the scenes when I'm like, shut up, you fucking cock. You know, like, you know what I mean?
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Like or whatever I need to say, like you're cocky as fuck. You know, or I come around and fucking shove my finger up your asshole, you know?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Like, it makes me cleanse up. Well, yeah, it would be very weird if you liked it, you know?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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I don't know. But, yeah. Some guys probably like that. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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And I saw somebody's comment on it was like, can you just be my unlicensed therapist forever? I was like, that is funny.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
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Yeah, and like you said, maybe your delivery was wrong, you know?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I mean, I can see, like, how people could internalize what you said in a different way with your delivery, yes. Yeah. But you know, so that's what I'm saying. Like, I know we've been together for so fucking like, do people forget that shit? Like, we've been together for so long that like, I just know you as a person. And I know that. And also, too, like, I know your heart.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Like, you're not the type of person that is going to want to say degrading things to me because you love me. Yeah. And vice versa. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Probably not. And people are still going to always think that I'm a weak-ass bitch.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Well, if you watch the clip, you don't say, you're a heifer. I don't want you as a wife. You said, well, of course I don't want a heifer for a wife. Like, that's different. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I've seen that clip recently. Did you see it?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
See, like there's already some good anonymous secrets. Yeah. I might have to pull those up at the end. But for later on in today's episode, I do have some of your guys' questions that you wanted unlicensed advice on. So we'll talk about that later. And just so everybody knows, whenever you send something in, I always keep it anonymous. So that way, you know. Yeah. It just keeps people private.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, it looked cringe. And then I thought about my, ooh. And my dad was like saying stuff and his girlfriend. Yeah. I was like, dude. And I think I was just irritated with the whole thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Isn't that funny, too, how you see clips and stuff that people post, and you're like, I don't even remember filming that. Never even know that what is filmed.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I think it's crazy because yeah, like I, you know, people ask me questions a lot about the postpartum and stuff. The weird part for me was I didn't even know that I had it until I was out of it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. It's wild. Like when I was going through it, I just was going through it, I guess. But when I got out of it on the other side of it and looked back, I was like, oh, wow.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, and I was very – I also was like – I don't think people realize, but that was in the beginning stages also of my mental health decline. That was the first time in life that I've ever experienced anything with mental health.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, any massive panic attacks out of nowhere or anything. So I also was on like a massive high dose of antidepressants, which is crazy because it didn't even help with the postpartum depression. Yeah. Um, come to find out, you know, years and years down the road when I did a genetic testing, found out that that medicine wasn't even working within my body.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So it makes sense why it wouldn't help the postpartum. Cause it wasn't even helping me mentally.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, and do you feel like the show contributed to that?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, so... I mean, obviously, I did see it in the media. I did see about your parents and all of that, but I didn't know the nitty-gritty of it all.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Or harder things going on in my life. It's like, oh, wow, look, I'm the kid and everything is hard in my life. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
We're on air. Finally, it's our turn to ask you questions.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, I want to go from, like, to the beginning. Like, how did your family even... How did that ever even happen? How was reality TV brought up to them? Were you guys always a known family before that happened?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Not that long ago.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. I thought this was older.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Like, yeah, don't all of a sudden it gets leaked somewhere and now you're trying to backtrack and say, oh, I was aware that they had this or they threatened me with it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
My ex best friend. So she secretly put a camera in your bedroom. That you were staying in just in the hopes that she would catch you guys doing something and then did and then is trying to leak it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. To like free up storage or whatever.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
100%.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yes, I know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
It sounds very toxic.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And that just made me, when you were explaining all of that, I was like, wow, I'm so blessed that we film a docuseries.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Absolutely not. I would not.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Like, I don't know if that's... Yeah, has it been like that your whole life?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Literally, while you were talking, I was thinking in my head, I'm like, you went through a lot of trauma.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I know in the beginning you said how your stepmom adopted you. So I was curious if your mom was involved in your life ever since you were little or it stopped after they got a divorce.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, yeah, that's right. And we didn't find it out until we were already been like sitting on it forever.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, when you were saying, when you were explaining all of that, like, I couldn't imagine just being a six-year-old child and having this mom for six years and then all of a sudden she's gone and I'm taken from her and I don't have any of the answers to why. That's super traumatic in itself.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Or going to my first high school dance with the date and going to pick out dresses with your mom and all those things that you miss out on.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And to be of one family and connection and yeah, support.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
They hit certain ages, and then it'll bring up traumas from your childhood that you were like, oh my gosh, I thought I worked on that, or I didn't think that was an issue. And then they get to the age where something happened to you, and it's just you're flooded with all these feelings and emotions. So you've experienced that too? Yes, I have, 100%.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
But it's like some people do. Yeah. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
How did you sleep at night? How did you do all these things? I can't.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
It was years.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, because I think you're right when you talk about your dad just doing – Doing the best he can with what he knows. It's almost like that saying where they say, maybe give your parents grace because they were just doing it for the first time too and not knowing what was going on. When I saw that once, it hit me. I was like, wow. Because you really think about it like that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Me being the first time parents that we are, I've never done this in another life that I remember ever doing. It's all new to me too.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And it's like, I would rather sleep my life away than feel any of these feelings that I'm feeling.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Sometimes we need that though for, you know, I mean, I needed that. I needed that from you.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Did you have any anxiety during that time?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And I think that helps like the more that we learn and we learn about ourselves and therapy and the things you do, you end up becoming more and more self-aware. And you can just like even for me now, I can notice little things that I'm like, oh, yeah, I need to call my therapist and my psychiatrist and we need to have a meeting and I need to go back to therapy. Yes. So you can just tell.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And it's so much better to be able to be self-aware than end up in that spiral and just the circle and not feeling like you can't get out of it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
It is so important. So important. I mean, God, you're so right. Because same thing, like I had postpartum depression. I believe I had it with placing Carly. Yeah. And then I went through postpartum depression with Nova, but I didn't even know I had it until I was out of it. And I was able to like look back and be like, holy shit, I was depressed and I did not even realize.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Like I could just eat myself off the freeway, you know, or I could hit that tree if I was going 55 or, you know, like weird shit like that. Yeah. Yeah. And it literally, it took him one day he came up in my room and he's like, You're not okay. What's going on, you know? And then I just broke down. Like, I don't know. I'm feeling all these things.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And he was the one who took me to see my first psychiatrist ever. And really, I needed him for that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I think it stems from anxiety disorders, the intrusive thoughts do. But I think you're spot on that it needs to be advocated for more of people. If you notice something, say something. You're not going to hurt our feelings. If anything, you might be saving us.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I always say, unfortunately, it never ends.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
But you get better. It's like you learn something new.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Or old. Yes. You always learn great things, though, about yourself, which is awesome.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
But we made it a priority. Like we need to be, do individual therapy and then once a week we would come together and do couples therapy and it helped a lot.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
There's a huge stigma still around mental health. I think a lot of people are breaking that down little by little. And I think it takes people talking about it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Or grandma just hides it forever and ever. And then one day it just explodes, you know?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I mean, Thank y'all for having me. Thanks for coming on.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
A very long seven days of work.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yep. So then I take it your dad's probably pressuring you with that too. Yeah, everybody was pressuring.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Or they want to twist it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And is that your dad and your stepmom?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, yeah, with the show?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, because you get to control your authentic story, and, like, this is the real story.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So it's your stepmom, not your biological mom.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I'm not like with my family, which is weird.