I’ve been going through a massive shift—breaking up with control, choosing ease, and trusting that things will align without me having to force it. But let's be so for real… it hasn’t been easy. The fear, the doubt, the urge to grab the wheel and MAKE things happen? Constantly tries to claw it's way back in. In this episode, I’m talking about what it actually feels like to sit in uncertainty without losing my mind, how I’m handling moments that make me want to fall back into old patterns due to fear of not being taken care of, and what I’ve learned about shifting from hopelessness to real power. If you feel stuck, frustrated, hopeless, or like things just aren’t clicking the way you want—this is for you. Let’s fix it! Substack: https://substack.com/@leoskepi?utm_so... Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/leoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi Merch: https://leoskepicollection.com My App Positive Focus: (Apple) https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 (Google) https://play.google.com/store/apps/detailsid=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1 Business Inquiries: [email protected]
Chapter 1: Why is feeling hopeless the first step to change?
Trigger warning. Just kidding, it's me. Hi, friends. Missed you so bad. I have a lot to tell you, a lot to fill you in on. I'm back from Miami. I'm tan. It did something to me because I'm over here with my fur loafers on. Like, I give a damn. Miami's vibe just did something to me. I stayed at the Versace mansion. I stayed in Gianni Versace's room. I've been buying all kind of furniture.
For this episode, I wanna talk about hopelessness and how you literally need to get there. Oh my God, I'm so happy. And I wanna talk about how I've hit this happy point. I went into it a little bit last week, but how I said I'm gonna implement a new mindset, it's been implementing. Hasn't been strictly smooth sailing. It's been ups, but only a little bit down.
Typically, it's like up, down, rollercoaster, straight up, straight down to hell. This time, it's like everything's on the up and up. And if there's a little down moment, it's like, like it's a little pathetic, little, little bitty. And then it goes right back up. I feel like I want to put more jewelry on. It's the Miami effect, I'm telling you. Let me go get some rings. I need something.
Okay, now I'm ready. I got something to clink around. I don't know where to start because it's not just about hopelessness. It's about gripping life and forcing through things. So the only way I've known how to go through life is by forcing it. And I've had no trust with God, with life, with the universe, whatever label you want to slap on it.
I've had no trust with it because from my life experience, anything that can go wrong will go wrong. I'm talking little inconvenient shit that makes me so angry. And it's been like a cycle my whole life. And I finally broke it where I would try to do something. I have the best intentions. I just want to help. I just want to do things. And everything seems to go wrong. And I would get angry very,
Like, super, super angry. And I would just force through whatever happened. So I was over here like, I know how it's gonna unfold. I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do. If something gets in the way, no, it's not redirection. It's the universe fucking with me. I didn't look at it like, oh, things might need to go a different way. Things might line up better for you because nothing ever lined up for me.
I had to do it. When I would try to do something and it would go wrong, nobody came to help me. Nobody would save me. Nobody would nothing. I would pray. God would laugh, I thought. Nothing would change and nothing would get better until I forced it. So that was my relationship with life for so long was just forcing through every single thing.
And it put me to like a pit of absolute depression, hopelessness for the last year of my life where... I had so much doubt about anything working out that I didn't want to try. I was like, every single time I had a new desire for something, everybody's all, oh, follow your desires. That's the whole point of life, the spiritual shit. Follow how you feel.
I was like, okay, I'm going to follow this desire. And then I would get shit on every single time I tried to do something. So I knew I could force it, but I knew anytime I wanted something, whether I wanted to be happy or achieve something or do anything, I'm like, okay, I know I can do it. But I know it's going to be so much headache. I'm just not even going to fucking do it.
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Chapter 2: How does living out of obligation affect mental health?
It was one day and I found everything so fast. Literally my full day went so perfect and I found so many things literally so fast. So my whole new shift that I made, everything coming easy, not forcing nothing, was paying off. It was, progress was happening. And I didn't let the comforter thing piss me off because I'm not the one in control.
Also, I had to pick up the chairs today anyway, so the room wasn't going to be fully done. But I did take the comforter out and lay it on my bed to make sure I liked it. I fucking love it. And I texted my guy at Versace. He's like, oh my God, no, we're going to order you a new one. You'll be fine. So a new one's coming. It's going to be perfect. It's just going to take a couple more days.
But that moment, I'm so glad happened with the comforter because it was another stabilization moment in the new road that I'm on. If everything went too perfect, I would have just chalked up the whole day to like, no, something's off. Something's fishy. I would have been scared. But because something did go wrong after so many things went perfect, I'm like, wait, no.
I didn't let it rob and ruin my entire day. And now I got full-fledged confidence. You ain't going to be able to break my day no more. You ain't going to be able to ruin my day because something goes wrong. Oh, whoopee shit. Did it go wrong? Really though? Like it didn't take anything from me. That's the new approach. Things going wrong are not going how I like try to grip them to go.
It didn't take nothing from me because forcing it leads to headache. I got that certainty from the hopelessness.
forcing it didn't work so if i tried to force it and it didn't work or if something goes wrong and i try and force it no i'm gonna let it unfold i'm gonna let it happen how it's gonna happen i'm gonna do what i feel inspired to do text my guy a new one's coming great peachy cane now i also have more like trust with my sales associate adrian if you're ever in the versace store in dallas ask for him he's great everybody in that store is great but adrian's my guy and don't fucking take him from me
Don't be making him all busy where I can't use him. But I feel looked after by him. He's not the type of person who's just going to be like, oh, sorry, too bad. He's going to advocate for me and make sure I get good shit. So now I feel even more confident shopping with Versace because I'm like, if something goes wrong, I'm taken care of, you know?
So it was a full restabilization moment and a trust building thing.
but yeah that's what's been going on that's what's t so i hope this helped if you deal with hopelessness and i hope you have a whole new plan for the road you're gonna switch to get the fuck off the one that you're on all right enough it's much more fun over here whatever your road looks like it's gonna be much more fun for you even if it doesn't look like mine figure out your new road you want to go to but if you made it this far in the episode comment a yellow heart
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