If you're still caught up on them, the lesson hasn't been learned. Here's what it took me a YEAR to finally figure out & how I truly let go. Substack: https://substack.com/@leoskepi?utm_so... Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/leoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi Merch: https://leoskepicollection.com My App Positive Focus: (Apple) https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 (Google) https://play.google.com/store/apps/detailsid=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1 Business Inquiries: [email protected]
Chapter 1: What lesson did Leo Skepi learn from a past relationship?
Do I have an episode for you this week? My God, this is the lesson you were meant to learn that you thought you learned. This just cracked me in the head the other day. I can't wait to tell you. Should I tell you from my experience or talk about it just like in general? I feel like from my experience, so like you can see yourself and see how dumb we have been.
Chapter 2: How did a breakup affect Leo Skepi emotionally and mentally?
I don't want to admit this, but it's the truth. Ain't no running from it. I have not been the same or felt the same emotionally or mentally since a certain breakup. Over a year ago, when I feel like I can't get over something or there's like still something attaching me to something in the past or somebody, it infuriates me. Like it genuinely makes me want to bash my head into a wall.
Because with a certain situation, I was over here like... I've nitpicked this to death. I've journaled about it. I've written about it. I've pulled every lesson and then some out of this scenario that I could pull. I woke up the other day thinking about this certain person again.
pissed off that i was thinking about it again like are we seriously gonna keep doing this what i wanted to do was wake up bash my head into a wall and then eat five xanax and just not feel nothing just be stupid i just was so infuriated with all the feelings coming up again about this certain situation so i was like you know what clearly it's something else Maybe that I haven't looked into.
So I make myself sit down and I get to writing like I do. I just get a blank notebook and I just start writing. The main lesson. Nothing about the feelings of the relationship or anything that happened have impacted my behavior at all. It's been over a year. I'm not the type to like sit here and linger and keep like trying and go back. I don't go back. I'm never going to spin the block.
So like my actions were not impacted at all anymore. But for what I thought, my actions just in general life felt heavy. I felt like discouraged. I doubted myself.
even if it was like just a little bit like i couldn't snap back into like the full throttle me and let me just take you through it i keep avoiding hitting the damn topic so when i started writing about the whole relationship in a situation i applied my outlook on success to a relationship don't ever do that
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Chapter 3: Why did Leo Skepi apply a business mindset to a relationship?
So with me and success, the way that I've learned to find it, it comes easy to some people. To me, it was never easy. It was never simple. Nothing lined up for me. I had to force through everything. Every single fucking dollar I've made, every opportunity I have, and every single thing that you see that I've done or manifested or bought... was by my own effort and my own energy.
And I'm exhausted with that. That's a whole different part. We gotta get to this first part first. But that's one route to get success, the only one that worked for me until now. And my mindset with success and discipline and everything that I have goal-wise is recommit. It don't matter how discouraged you feel, recommit. If you need to go to the gym and you don't feel like it,
Go push through the negative emotions. If something's actually making you miserable, stop. But if you know that something is in line with what you want, go for it. That's my mindset. It's like, I'm going to deal with whatever I got to deal with inside me to go through the motion. I don't care how hopeless I am. I don't care how defeated I feel. I'm always going to recommit.
And I have done that when it comes to my career and stuff. And that's built my belief in myself around force. So like I know and fully trust I can force through shit and make it happen. There's no doubt. I don't care. how nice and polite I try to be about certain things. If at the end of the day, I got to force it, we're all getting pushed.
I'm not like the type where I force something and I don't want nothing to happen to me. I'll fuck everybody up. I'll fuck myself up. I'll fuck people in the way up. I'll fuck up inanimate things. Just like metaphorically, when I have to force something, I'll push it. And I don't care what the damage is. I'm getting to what I want.
Typically, it builds to a point where like I've tried to do things a certain way and it hasn't worked or it's gone bad. And I'm like, you know what? Fuck it. Everything can move. And I like use an energetic force to like push through anything that I have to do. And it's gotten me to a lot of good points in success, but success has come with exhaustion.
And when I was in this period, like full throttle with everything that I was working on, I met somebody and I didn't realize that I applied that same logic to the relationship. So like, You know how we always talk about standards. You always gotta have standards. I do not know, well, I didn't know why I dropped my standards for this person.
I could not fathom why I tolerated so much shit when I'm not the type to do that ever. But in the phase that I was caught in after being single for a long time, going into this dynamic while I was in business and like forced into success and all that, I subconsciously took that same approach with the relationship.
So how logical me would look at all the red flags and be like, ah, not happening, kick rocks. I was in a place where I was feeling a little bit lonely. And I was like, you know what? It could be fun. It could be what it's going to be, whatever. I have a certain image of a certain relationship that I want to have in a certain way that I want love to feel with a partner.
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Chapter 4: What realization led to a change in Leo Skepi's approach to relationships?
force through it, boom, and then I would have success. So I had like programmed in my head that approach to get the desired outcome that I want with anything in life, force it. As bad as you wanna give up, use that to reinvest it. Do not ever do that with relationships, ever.
I know when you're in a relationship and you tolerate things you're not supposed to, more bad things are going to happen to force you to leave. I wasn't ready to leave. I didn't want to end it yet. I had a date in mind. I still had a couple months left in me before I was ready to kick the bucket. I had it all planned in my head. As fucked up as it is, like, this is the truth of what it was, okay?
But basically, there came a point where there was such a bad, abrasive lie that was exposed that I caught. And when I put pressure on it and finding out the truth... It went really, really bad. And the reaction was not what I thought. And when I saw too much of the truth of who the person was, there was no stay. There was no figure it out. It was done.
And the night that it happened, I was like, yeah, this is done. I don't see a way to go through this shit. And homeboy was like, let's talk about it tomorrow. Just... We're both emotional. We're both upset. Tonight was a lot. Let's agree to talk tomorrow. Like, don't make a decision. Let's just... Let's talk tomorrow. I was fully done in that moment. And I went home. Went to sleep.
Woke up the next day and was like... Okay. If there's any way to get through this... Everything in me is telling me there's absolutely fucking not. But I'm gonna try and recommit. If there's a way to find it... I'll find it. So, when we have the conversation... We'll talk and we'll see if there is a way through it. And if there's not. And that night when we met up to talk, they showed up fully.
I agree with you. I'm pretty sure this is the end. Like I don't see a way past it. Not in an aggressive way, how I did it. It was like very tearful and sad. And it threw me the fuck off guard fully. I was going into this like, okay, I'm willing to go against myself to see if we can have a conversation and see if there's any actual way to continue going forward.
But the whole thing of like going into the conversation, intending to have one and being met with, no, you're right. This isn't going to work. It felt like rejection, but I don't know how to like read the situation. There's any way you can kind of like cut it or slice it. I ended it and then it was confirmed or like me being open to have a conversation.
I don't know what the fuck it was, but it felt like rejection. That felt like abandonment because I was ready to have a conversation and I come over here and stick my hand out and nothing happened. That has sat on me for over a year, and I thought that was the whole issue. At the time, and for a lot of months following, what I thought I wanted was to figure it out. And I didn't.
I literally was going through so many different thoughts and emotions and things. After you fucking lied to me, got caught, lied again, got caught, and I just blatantly exposed you for who you truly are, you fucking fucked with me. And I'm still willing to sit down and have a conversation. I took it as so disrespectful of the fact that there was no interest in talking.
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Chapter 5: How did Leo Skepi rebuild confidence after feeling lost?
And I tried to go into business opportunities and business shit with everybody that I was working with and dealing with. My focus became on making sure that they all cared about me and doing for everybody to care about me because I thought I had to have things guided for me. I didn't trust that I could do it on my own anymore.
And that went to absolute shit because then I got to a place where I was banging my head in the wall, couldn't do anything to get anyone to care about me. It's like all the things that I've learned from the past, blew out the window and I had to redo them again. I was back in the people pleaser shit.
Y'all watch this whole evolution of myself, like the past year through the podcast, me getting back to having my voice and not giving a fuck. It's because I trust my ability again to make what I want happen. I don't need people liking me to do it. Trying to get people to like me and trying to be digestible ruined things worse. It was pathetic.
And like, looking back, I'm like, so I want to talk about all this to prevent you guys from going through it or dealing with it. Or if this knocks something loose in your brain, then great. I hope you can like reconnect and figure out what the lesson was with your relationship.
If it was this, or if it was something else, I hope it guides you to that thing because going through life and not trusting any means of yourself to get what you want. That's a tough one. That's a real tough one because I went to the whole thing of like, okay, Everybody hates violence. I'm not going to be violent anymore. That's just a part of me. I'm Albanian. And that's never going to go away.
Y'all watched me cut off from so much of myself trying to be approved of. You do not need anyone's approval and you don't need anyone to like you to get to what you want. You can fully achieve anything you want in this fucking life. It's just a whole game of, like, how do you want to do it?
I was just subconsciously, without even realizing any of this, jumping to different ways of trying to, like, keep going when I didn't trust myself anymore. Now that I see what I did with that dynamic was overlay a business approach with a relationship, you can't. You cannot put your... Forcing like discipline, recommit type shit with people.
So now there's a clear distinction in my head of with certain things in life, whether it's opportunities, business shit, inanimate things, just like physical world stuff. That, you gotta push past your emotions sometimes, like going to the gym. You gotta eat on your fucking meal plan if you wanna look a certain way. You gotta go to the gym if you want certain results.
If you wanna gain weight, you gotta eat more. There's no sitting there thinking about it and nothing. You gotta force through the emotions and do it. With relationships and with other human beings... There is zero overlooking emotions. I am now so in tune emotionally with people and it's helped all my relationships.
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Chapter 6: Why is it important to separate business strategies from personal relationships?
When I thought I lost them, the thing that really hurt was the piece of me that I lost and I couldn't find him. I couldn't get him back until now. And now that I've found him and I'm like back to me, Everything feels like a relief. Everything feels different. I have zero emotion toward the person at all. I don't have anything toward the situation.
I'm a little fucking irritated at myself that it took a year for me to get here. But. It happened how it was meant to happen. My God. Like, I just feel so stupid sometimes, but I'm like, you know what? I'm happy I learned it now. And I didn't keep going how I was going because I would have died.
I wouldn't have been able to, like, keep going against myself and having no motivation, no hope, no anything, and just trying to keep going. I would have forced through my...
capacity and destroyed myself fully like it was coming and i'm so glad i woke up to this and i feel so much better like that is the lesson that is the relief where it's like this time so now everything is great dandy peachy keen right not yet so i see everything with that whole dynamic fully different i see how the whole last year of my life makes a lot more sense I don't know how I survived it.
Like I said, like I'm proud of myself because even when I doubted myself so fucking bad and I had no faith, no hope, no trust in myself, no trust in other people, I still achieved some cool stuff. Like my ability to force through shit is solid. I know I can achieve things like that, but now I'm at a point, I don't want to keep going like that.
I don't want to have to keep forcing everything I want to happen. And now I'm in a whole period of like... looking at how I want my relationship to manifestation and success to look. And I have to rewrite that and practice new approaches because force and shit's all I've known. It's the only thing that worked.
Now I see a whole new way how I want things to feel and how I want things to go now that I do trust myself. And I'm like back reconnected and I feel whole again. Now I want a whole different approach to everything. I have no fear if something will work. I know no matter what way I'm going to try will work. That's the weirdest thing.
Because like I said in the past, it's like I tried all these avenues and forcing it was the only one that worked. By forcing it so hard, I trust myself 10 out of 10. After now. So now when I go try different approaches, I know every single approach I try will work. It's just like, which one do I want to have work? Which one feels the best?
And living a life without obligation is the one that I'm walking into now. Last week in the episode when I talked about obligation, how it feels like someone's got their hand on my neck and they're choking me out and I want to kill them when I feel obligated into doing things. I don't want to run my life no more and live my life through obligation.
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Chapter 7: What advice does Leo Skepi offer for handling emotions in relationships?
I've been literally sitting here for the past three, four months trying to figure it out and believe in myself again. And this is what finally came to a head. And I'm like, duh, these people don't know how to help me and guide me. I'm the only one that knows how to do it. So let's circle back.
Let's kick this fucker back to when I was talking about forcing through things in life and enduring headache and having to recommit with all the hopelessness and the disappointment. There's a big thing with receiving that I didn't feel like I deserved things until I got to a point where there was so much headache and so much I had to overcome until I finally forced it and snatched that shit.
It's like when I was provoked and pushed to a point of like utter hopelessness that turned into anger. That's when I would force to get whatever I wanted, but I feel like I had to earn that thing that I wanted by suffering. So it was like, I couldn't receive things easily. That didn't feel good. I was not able to just receive shit. It felt like you're setting me up.
It feels like it's untrustworthy. There's some kind of hidden string attached. There's a hidden obligation in it. And I've never been good at just like receiving things or being handed things or being given gifts. Now I would very much fucking like that. That's my next chapter, my next period.
I don't got to sit here and suffer and deal with no headache and no fuck shit because that's how I want things to come to me in this life. I'm over that. I'm sick of it. I would like some handouts. I would like some fucking here just for you. Yes. I would like to stop fighting for every fucking thing that I want and like want to achieve. I'm over that.
So with the whole new approach thing, looking at the whole relationship to receiving, I Yeah, I'm not good at that. I'm not good at receiving things that are just a genuine, like, reflection of love and appreciation. Like, oh, here, just because. I would get very uneasy, very antsy, very, get the fuck away from me. Or I would give something back. I couldn't just, like, accept something.
I would have to do something or give something back. So, like, that's where the obligation comes in also with this whole thing of, like, oh, I have to fight for what it is that I want. I have to suffer to feel validated to get it. No, I'm sick of it. I ain't suffering for shit. I suffered enough in this life. If I got to push and force it and rip off a part of myself to get something, keep it.
I will never, ever push past something and push through things to get what I want at the cost of myself. I've known this logically, but I didn't know how this played in emotionally, like under the, like behind the scenes, like behind the little curtain, this shit was crazy. Honestly, the way I'm approaching the podcast now too, is kind of in line with my new way that I'm trying to approach things.
Like I'm not sitting here planning this out. I have no notes. I have no nothing. I'm just letting it flow out. And if it sounds stupid, okay. If it helps people great. Cause this just changed my entire life. And I wanted to talk about this and just like, let it the fuck out. Because I know it's going to help other people too. I know it's going to like flip something for y'all.
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