Aware and Aggravated
28. Cutting Off Family, Feeling Behind In Life, & Signs It's Over- WWLD
Sun, 16 Feb 2025
This WWLD hits all over the board. Grab a snack and let's hang for a bit. You're bound to learn something. Substack: https://substack.com/@leoskepi?utm_so... Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/leoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi Merch: https://leoskepicollection.com My App Positive Focus: (Apple) https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 (Google) https://play.google.com/store/apps/detailsid=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1 Business Inquiries: [email protected]
Chapter 1: Why do I feel like the best person yet cry at night?
I was considering if I should garden or not before this a little bit. You know, take the edge up, relax. But I need to be level-headed. This week we're doing a What Would Leo Do? Hi friends. First person said, sometimes I think I'm just the best person ever, but why I be crying at night?
me three months ago could have wrote that is that me hey hey you is that me let me do what my pisces brain does i gotta stare at it for a second so i can read deeper into it sometimes i think i'm just the best person ever but why i'd be crying at night i assume you're crying at night because of yourself but when i've felt like this where i'm like i don't see what's the issue why i'd be upset like when you have to deal with what you have to deal with at night alone by yourself
Usually you're the best person for everybody else, but not yourself. Cause like you can look around logically and see how you're there for other people. You see, Oh, I know why this person would like me. I know why this person cares. Like all the external boxes are checked. You feel good.
You feel fine with everybody else and how you're perceived and like the outside version of you, but the inside version of you at home, you don't like that motherfucker. You'll be crying when you're alone with them. So I would just say, yeah, you got the external, right? As in you have all your connections outside of yourself set. Everybody's good. Everybody's fine.
But when it comes to yourself at night, when you're sitting there reflecting and maybe you have guilt or you're replaying scenarios in your head, you're like, why did I said that? Maybe I shouldn't have said that. If it's that kind of dialogue while you're crying at night, go into it. Overthink a little bit. Overthinking is good sometimes. It makes yourself reflect. So fucking look at it.
If you said something stupid, okay, learn from it. Don't say it no more. But if you're crying at night because you don't like who you are with yourself, okay, what's the problem? You know exactly what to do. Why you don't like yourself? What's going to make you want to hang out with you a little more? It's really not that fucking hard. Nobody just wants to do it.
Like nobody wants to look at themselves and be like, okay, everybody else likes me, but I don't. And I'm going to cry about it. I get it. Like that's the hard part is looking at yourself. Okay. Why don't I like me? And then be that. But you're also going to have to trade off some of the other relationships with what you change to like about yourself.
You're not going to be just molding your personality to be everything that everybody else wants you to be. For you to stop crying by yourself, you might have to make other people cry a little. And that's okay. It's the way to cookie crumble. Okay, next person said, my mom and dad are separated. I got into a fight with my dad. He's a drug dealer. So I have a lot of resentment. Why?
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Chapter 2: Should I forgive my mom for past betrayals?
Ain't nothing wrong with doing what you got to do sometimes. I'm just kidding. One time we got into a fight and I swung on him. 17 years old. My mom called the cops on me. Now I'm 25 and trying to figure out if I should ever forgive her. She's also abandoned my brothers. And now she has my sister who's five years old.
And I'll be moving closer to help with my sister because my baby sister's dad just went to treatment. I don't know if I'm keeping up with the whole fucking story, but this sounds like a Madea movie. Hit him with a frying pan. So the thing you want to know about is should you have a relationship with your mom after what happened? I would say no. She failed you as a mom.
You got into an altercation with her boyfriend and she called the cops on you. In my opinion, in my book, your mom failed you. Your mom failed as a mother in that situation. Did you go to jail or anything? Did you do time? Did they press charges? Like, I need more information. Most people write way too little or way too much where I don't want to fucking read it.
But this situation, don't feel bad. If you don't want to have a relationship with your mom again, don't. She's a liability. Whenever something happens, that's a liability standing there in the corner. You're going to have to worry and watch your own ass. And that's something you never should have to do around your family, in my opinion. Your family should be there no matter what.
Your whole hesitation is valid with trying to have a relationship with your mom again. A lot of people are not going to tell you that. A lot of people play the whole, oh, it's your parent. It doesn't fucking matter the title. If someone betrays you this hard, anyone can become a liability and a threat to you regardless of their title. So your mom clearly showed that
There's no concern for you over her partner. And there's no concern for your future because you were 17 when it happened. Your mom called the cops knowing that would make a record for you. What an irresponsible and inconsiderate. That's someone who gave birth. Like you don't have that maternal instinct of like protect your child. Come on. I don't get that.
And I'm getting a little heated with this one. I knew I should have smoked. But don't feel bad for not wanting to have a relationship or feeling hesitant to have a relationship. Betrayal has been done. Betrayal has happened. It's a common theme here. We don't believe in forgiveness. Some things can be forgiven, but some things are unforgivable. And disloyalty...
is never forgiven, and it never should be, no matter the title. If you want to challenge it, a lot of people get mad because I say I don't believe in forgiveness. Like, oh, that's against religion. Where the fuck is Lucifer? If you want to bring religion into it, this loyalty is never forgiven, and it is punished, because where is Lucifer? Exactly. Don't feel bad. Don't feel guilty.
Do what you got to do. If you don't want to have a relationship, don't have one. If you do want to have one, you watch your ass. And I would lay down a line of like never being around the boyfriend if he's still around or if there's any new partners that come around. The stove already burnt you once. Don't let it burn you twice.
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Chapter 3: How do I handle feeling behind in life?
And in the past I've felt behind before, but I just used it to look at my life and be like, okay, it's not feeling behind that I was like bothered about. It's seeing other people my age doing more. Made me realize what the fuck I'm doing. Don't just sit there in the guilt about it. Okay, you feel behind. Okay, why? What do you want to change and then change it? What are you going to do?
Just sit there and be sad and just, oh, I just feel so behind. You're never going to be able to think your way into better actions. You got to act your way into better thoughts. So if you don't like where you're at, don't just sit there and be, oh, I'm still behind. Run faster.
If you realize you're running a race and you behind and you losing, you number three, not even number two, you slipped, you fucked up, you number three. If you don't realize you're number three in the race and don't get that like adrenaline spike of like, oh, I'm going to sprint. That's what's supposed to happen. Start sprinting. Okay, start making up for lost time. Do your shit.
And you're not behind because you don't have what they have. So figure out exactly what you want. Because it's not what everybody else has. You're just being triggered to think about it. So think about it. And then run towards that. Behind for what? Who the fuck says who's behind who? Like, what's the ideal life supposed to be? Because everybody I know that's my age, 26 and married with kids...
They miss a boo. They don't like what they doing. They feel trapped. They have no freedom. There's a give and a take. Also, that's one thing to ask yourself if you feel behind. Do you even fucking want what society is telling you you should have at this age? Do you want it? I fucking don't. I don't want to be paying for kids and shit. I want to be going to Versace store, having fun.
My birthday's coming up. I'm almost a year with no alcohol. Can't wait to get drunk. I'm going to Cabo. That's what I would like to be doing at my age. Not over here with a kid. For what? Because society says so. Boo hoo. I don't give a damn. I'm trying to have fun. Okay, next. Here we go. I feel like I'm the only person that can meet my standards.
I don't know if it's too high or what, but I feel like since I meet my own standards, they aren't too high. But then again, I haven't met anyone that I feel genuinely meets my standards dating wise. I only have two good friends who do meet my standards. So should I drop them a little or no? How do you not see what you're saying?
I don't think there'll be anybody who will ever meet my standard, but I do have two best friends who meet them. Two best friends who meet your standards is more than most people have. You have two, not just one, but two people who meet your standards. As a friend. And you're over here questioning if there's a partner out there. Potentially. You already got two people living proof.
You got it in your life already. How hard is it for them to be who they are? You see it's not hard. It's not hard for you to be who you are. So when you meet somebody, it's just going to be a matter of time. And dating is a fucking numbers game. As annoying as it is. It's a numbers game.
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Chapter 4: Are my standards too high when dating?
I thought for the longest time that it's what I wanted to do, but I feel lost. What the hell are you asking me for? You know exactly what to do. You know you don't like what you thought you'd like anymore. Okay, so change it.
Literally going to college and people expecting you to figure out what you're supposed to do with the rest of your life right after your nuts finally drop, that's unrealistic. Like 18 is like your nuts been dropped. But being 18 years old and expecting to like make this decision, it's like, okay, I'm gonna love this one thing. You didn't know if you'd like it until you started walking into it.
So whatever your major was, okay, this idea of what this career path could be like, I like what the trailer of the movie could be. You start watching the movie and you realize, I don't fucking like the movie. You're going to keep watching it and waste your time and finish it? Or you're going to turn it off and find a new one?
Yeah, there's a lot of consequences that come into switching it and changing it. I get it. But if you're aware... By taking two steps down the path of it, instead of going 10 miles down to the end, you realize that ain't the path you wanna be on, jump, change it. Because as soon as you know it's not what you want, okay, cool.
But it's not a thing of like, oh, it's hard, I don't wanna do it anymore. If it's a discipline issue, get your fucking shit together, okay? Go study, get your degree. You got to go make some money.
If it's a thing of like you genuinely have zero interest in the thing that you thought you would like and it's like draining you, you don't want to go, you don't want to be there, you don't want to do it, you want to die, then change it. Because why are you going to keep committing yourself to the path you don't want to be on? For what? Okay, it only took you two steps to gain clarity.
You're lucky you're not 20 years into the career, like most people, being like, damn, I wish I would have switched back when I was still in college and I knew this wasn't what I wanted. Just switch it. Life becomes a lot easier once you just... Do shit. Like just switch it and just watch what happens. Watch how easy it gets.
Watch how much easier it is than you thought and watch you actually handle it. And then you like what you're doing better. You're like, oh, wow, what the hell? You know what this path is like. You don't like it. You don't want it. So why are you going to choose to keep walking down it? Oh, because I'm scared of what my parents would think. I'm scared of what my friends would think.
I'm scared of the life you're going to have to live. with something that you hate if you don't get out of it. A lot of people don't have rich parents and like trust funds to fall back on. You got to set yourself up and get a fucking degree. So you always got a job. So like you go take a business adventure or you try something. It don't work. You fall on your ass. You could pick yourself up.
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Chapter 5: What to do if I lose interest in my college major?
What the hell you want me to do? He had a manic episode and he moved away. He abandoned you. He said he still loves you. Okay, he's a looney tune. What'd you expect? If he's going to do that, let him go do that.
But if he's not the type of clinically insane where he has, like, hospitalization periods, he's just someone, like, I talk about with these TikTok people who are, like, making me ill and they need all this shit. A lot of people use their, like, mental illnesses as an excuse for their behavior when they don't want to take responsibility. So...
It's like the typical thing of like when a guy cheats on you and he's like, oh, well, it's when my grandmother died when I was two. Shut the fuck up. Shut up. People use it as an excuse all the time. So one question to ask yourself, is that the kind of love you want? Is somebody who abandons you? Maybe that's the way he shows love. Okay.
He loves you so bad, but he's still going to do what he wants to do regardless of how you feel. Is that the kind of love you want? Is that kind of love ever going to get you where you want to go in life? If you want kids, if you want marriage, if you want someone that's actually around, is that the person that you should be dedicating your time to? No.
If you want to go for like a crazy time, have a blast with life and have some Lana Del Rey type shit, go for it. Have fun with your little looney tune. But if you're asking me like, Do I think he loves you in his own little way? But do you want somebody who loves like that? Who could be so in love with you, it's always me and you, and then they're going to run away for a year?
That could not be me. I would hit him with the car. I would chase you down and run you down. okay next i matched with a guy on tinder i found out he used to talk to my old friend they never met in person am i in the wrong to seek something out with him her and i have not been friends since august of 2024 and i had no idea they used to talk Okay, he talked to your old friend. That's one piece.
Nothing was serious. Okay, so they talked. My moral code always comes in on this situation. It all depends on how you left things off with that friend. If it was the friendship where it was like a fallout and it was a fuck you or a betrayal or y'all are not on good terms, go be with him if you want to be with him. Bets are off. No loyalty is owed.
But if it's a friendship where it was one of those that, like, faded out or, like, you kind of just, like, grew your own separate ways but, like, you still care from afar, text her or just call her. Be like, hey, no, we haven't talked, whatever. Start a conversation and ask her if she's cool with it. I personally would do that.
But if it's a bitch you don't fuck with no more and she did something wrong to you, okay, fine. Go play with him. Go fiddle his ditto if you want to. Who cares? The loyalty and the respect is owed when there's nothing damaging or any kind of betrayal has gone on. I'd say definitely reach out to the friend if you guys was cool. But yeah, that's what I would do. Actually, what am I thinking?
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Chapter 6: Is it worth staying with someone who had a manic episode?
Someone said, would you still buy Father's Day, birthday, and Christmas gifts for your ex that you share a child with that's under one when they cheated on you? Or would you wait until your child was older to pick out the gifts themselves? I'm so conflicted. We don't have a good relationship, but he wants to be involved with the kid.
He says he wants nothing to do with me, but wants stuff to do with her. I left because he was on Tinder and messaging other girls while in the delivery room. I don't believe he would return the thought if I got him stuff for those significant days. Don't you fucking dare buy him a single gift. Don't you dare spend a second with your pretty little fingers writing him a single card.
It's a warped... Like, I know you want to, like... Talk to him and it's your way of doing it through your kid. Like, oh, the baby got you a card. The baby got you a gift. You both know that it was you. Do not. It's not your obligation. It's not your responsibility. You're not a bad mother if you don't do that. The kid doesn't know what's going on.
And for the dad, if he expects you to be doing that, that's some manipulation bullshit. Do not. This man was on Tinder while you were pushing out your child. I hope your family was there and they jumped him in the parking lot. Wow. I know you feel bad. And I know you want to do this stuff. I hope you don't fucking want to. But... I know you feel like obligated to do it.
You're not obligated at all. If he needed like reassurance or like outside neutral perspective, you got it. I'm genuinely sorry that you're in this position, but I'm so proud of you for leaving him. But you left the obligation to do anything for him also when you left him. So don't let it eat you up. Don't let it make you feel bad. You should never feel bad.
If you bought a bird and trained it to shit on his car every single time you saw him, you still shouldn't feel bad. That's what he gets. Next person said, can you do a video about banking stuff? No one has taught me about it and I'm scared to mess it up. Is that something y'all would want? Is like my advice about finances and like what I've learned about banking and credit cards and all that shit.
Because when I was 18, I didn't know what credit was. I heard everybody talking about credit this, credit that. I was like, I don't know what the fuck that is. So when I was 18, I went into the bank and I was like, hey... And I sat down with one of the bank tellers and I was like, what is credit?
And she took me in her office and like pulled out this thing and explained to me what it was and then set me up with a secured credit card. And I'll like, should I make an episode? Do y'all want that or no? I feel like everybody could like benefit from it because I take advantage of the points. when you use credit cards. And I also have tactics of like getting shit for free.
I just got a PlayStation five for free. Cause I had so many fucking points. I've got myself a PlayStation and it was free from the credit cards. So if you want my like tips and like what I've learned in my journey on it, I will make an episode. Just comment and tell me. All right. Next person said my unemployed.
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