SPONSORS: Head to http://Drinklightstrike.com to learn more! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BEARS and get 10% off your first month. In this wet and mild episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back together to catch up on everything that's been going on since the last time they were face to face. They debate who the strongest comedian is, Bert claims it's himself, Tom suggests Godfrey or Carrot Top. Who do you think it is? The bears also talk about how cities kind of blow, Bob Dylan sorta sucks, Mussolini inventing fascism, Bert's big summer plans, Chrissy D performing at MSG on 9/11, plus some Oscars thoughts, some opinions on refrigerated food, and the different flavors of Spanish around the world. Enjoy the show! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 279 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:12 - Strongest Comedian Living 00:09:16 - Medical Emergency In Show 00:17:43 - Georgia's Trip To Spain 00:22:45 - Bert's IG Feed 00:26:28 - Horrible IG Feed 00:31:31 - Mussolini Deep Dive 00:35:42 - Mean Girls 00:39:53 - Fridge Food 00:41:33 - Coffee Drinks 00:46:27 - Top Dog Coffee 00:53:10 - Spanish Accents 00:59:10 - Emilia Perez 01:02:00 - The Oscars Are Over 01:06:24 - Bob Dylan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: Who is the strongest comedian according to the bears?
welcome to another episode of two bears one cave i'm here with my buddy bertrand the strongest comedian living this the strongest living comedian am i the strongest comedian am i the strongest comedian i don't know that's a good question top five top ten
I think you're probably top ten. Top ten easy.
No, wait. You mean like known comedian?
325.
I mean, let's talk about it. Okay, you brought it up. Yeah, yeah. Google how many people in the world can bench 325 pounds. Let's see. That's a... How many centimeters in an inch?
Wow, less than 10%. Less than 10%. Only a small percentage. Less than 10% can bench 310 pounds. Yeah. Yeah.
That's so funny. That's not what I got when I Googled it. It was like 0.01% of the world. I think that's fine. 10% of the world can bench 325 pounds. That's a lot of strong motherfuckers. Well, it is saying less than 10, which is pretty broad.
Less than 10%. I think it's 0.01.
I know that if you do 400 pounds bench, you're in a very small— So I got one readout that said— There you go.
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Chapter 2: What happened during the medical emergency at the show?
Well, I get nervous. I get nervous at Red Rocks. I get nervous at the Greek. Anything big, LA. No, no, no. Like, the Gorge, I wasn't nervous. But, like, Red Rocks is a big one for me. Like, I'm really nervous. I don't know if we haven't announced it, but I'm doing Red Rocks again this year. I get nervous at the Greek. I get nervous. Why? I don't know. I think because I invest, I put a lot into it.
Like the Greek really made me nervous. Red Rocks always made me nervous. But that's why I like doing Red Rocks. Because it makes you nervous. Because I don't always get nervous like that. Like are you going to get nervous doing Madison Square Garden?
Maybe a little bit.
It's like a tent pole.
Huh?
It's like a tent pole.
I think only because it's not that it's MSG for me. It's that in New York, I never feel like the – New York and L.A. crowds to me are a little more kind of judgy and a little like I'm not impressed, just so you know, is how they kind of feel. And so that's the part that kind of makes me like, oh, are they going to be –
It's not that I'm in this space, even though I have great admiration for MSG, it's just that I go, what kind of crowd's showing up? Because I've had New York shows where you're like, what the fuck was that?
Chris DiStefano's doing Madison Square Garden on 9-11. Yeah. He came with me. Last weekend he came with me. I just saw that. That's what made me think about this.
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Chapter 3: What are Bert's experiences and thoughts on social media algorithms?
Okay.
I thought we were talking about like a teen.
Four. That's the first thing she sees. And I hear her. I hear her like, yeah, it's a fat N-word summer. Yeah. Yeah. And then it's a white girl going, it is a fat N-word summer. Is it not fat N-words with fat pockets? No. Fat N-word summer. Okay. I can't believe it's like a song. It's like a music video, but I think it's an AI. It feels like it may have been a dream that you had.
You know, I almost sent it to you, but I had to get out of my phone so quick. So did you snag that phone? No, that's not the one. I heard it, and I looked at it. I was like, what are you watching? And then she went to the next video, and it was a woman pissing on a knocked-out man's head. Oh, I've seen that video. And she was like, Uncle Bert, what are you watching?
And I was like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't look at my algorithm. Yeah, that's in my algo, too. Yeah, and so my algorithm is fucked.
Oh, yeah, it's real bad. I'm getting a lot of war videos, a lot of war.
Really?
Yeah, a lot of war videos. I think from Ukraine. they're pretty rough man yeah people falling on their heads and then I get and then like I get some car stuff and then I don't know Greek I saw a dude I saw a dude on a electric bike yesterday get hit by a car and wrap his leg around a stop sign and it broke his leg in a circle
And he realized his leg was probably coming off his body for the rest of his life. There was no fixing that leg. Yeah. And his panic he had in that, I saw it on Instagram.
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