Zazz

I'm just, I didn't think, about him running through the airport.

Huge story that needs a conclusion.

I mean, look at me. Look at him running.

At what point during the running through the airport did you text the Uber driver and let him know that you got there?

When you were sitting, right?

You don't want to look stupid in front of the Uber driver.

Never an all pro. No, it's not.

We barely know each other. I get that. You know, I get it.

Do you see this sweatshirt I'm wearing?

Well, see, that part I don't know because these are my good friends that I'm in the room with right now. And it seems like they're a lot more interested in competing with each other than they are in helping me out. I'm losing. I can't sleep at night. At 3 a.m. last night, I rolled over in my bed. It's all I can think about. I grabbed my phone. I almost bought tickets for $2,000 last night.

Yeah, but I want to go to Pearl Jam. Does he want to go to whatever that shirt is?

Good to see you, David. How are you?

I've been seeing Pearl Jam every tour since I was 16 years old. They're one of the most important things in the world to me. And the best part about going to see Pearl Jam now is I now also take my now 16-year-old son. He accompanies me to all the shows that I go to. So it's a huge father-son bonding moment now. It's one of the greatest gifts I have in my life is seeing this band with my son.

Too long.

I can't sleep. I need to get my life back in order. I mean, you've seen him a bunch, though. I mean, how many times can you... Okay, you sound like my wife. All right. Not sure that's the angle you're looking for.

Listen, listen. Look at this face right here. Can the camera get on me please? Not on a mean. Look at me. Look at me. Look at his face. This is a tired face right here. This is a face that is stressed. This is not a healthy face right now. And the reason that this face looks like this right now is because this has consumed my life. I need to see Pearl Jam in my home city.

I live just 10 minutes away from the Hard Rock Live. And I'm going to be sitting in my home on my couch in my underwear while Pearl Jam is playing the Hard Rock Live.

I will hit on something that will really tug on David's heartstrings here.

I don't think it's... It's not nice. It's not right for me to grovel.

It's any better. I have self-respect, all right? I'm not gonna grovel. I'm not gonna grovel here. All right, then let's go to the show. But something that... You've been groveling.

Well, I mean, that's your interpretation. But I will say something that will tug at David's heartstrings here. I already told you. I... Some people work for food, okay? I will work for Pearl Jam tickets. That's right. I'm here. Actually, I'm here tomorrow, but I could also come on Friday. I work the rest of the week, David. I know how much you love saving money. I've seen it firsthand.

Been a Marlin fan since 1993. I know how much you love saving money. You're not trying to convince David, though. What do you mean I'm not trying to convince David? Of course I am. Talk to Eddie.

Different show.

All right, listen. I'm looking straight at you, Eddie Vedder, and your bandmates.

That's why we need to go to both shows next week. Because one show has nothing to do with the other. And I cannot be sitting in my home knowing that 10 minutes from my house, Pearl Jam is playing. And instead, I'm in the Zaslow Mansion family room on the couch sitting in my underwear.

Okay, there we go. Ed, I'm looking straight at you, Ed, as you could tell by me looking right at the camera, okay? I would never look at the opposite camera. I would never look at the wrong one. I'm looking right at you. I love your band so much. You have given me some of the greatest nights of my life since I was a young Jonathan Zaslow.

Since I was a young man trying to figure out who I am in this world, okay? You helped me discover who I am. And then, as I got older, I had children. And I now get to take my teenage boys to the shows with me. It's a family affair, Eddie. All right. And the idea that I would miss this time with my family and you. We're all part of it together. We're all a family.

I got to be there to see you at the Hard Rock Live next week to complete our family. We need to be together. And. I paid for this right here, this merch, with my hard-earned money. That's right. I work so that I could also buy merchandise. Okay. Now sing it.

Again, it feels like you're trying to do the best impersonation of my wife that you possibly can. And I can tell you right now, you're nailing it.

I'm a closer. Yep, that's how you get a deal done. You know what I want.

Love game time.

What a snur!

Sounds like Nickelback.

My man.

I need to get my life back.

It's so important to me. The heat. It's so important to me, and I'm super stressed at the idea that I don't have tickets to these shows next week because I am trying so hard.

Okay, but I was on the broadcast for two heat championships.

I love Pearl Jam more.

I love Pearl Jam more.

I feel okay about it. Doesn't mean I don't love the heat. I love Pearl Jam more.

Okay, I can love other things as well in my life. My love is not exclusive to one thing. I can't believe that.

Well, see, I mean... Take it easy, Zazzle. Take it easy. No, no, I care about you, man. Take it easy. Really tough scenario. I don't know why you're putting me in that position.

Well, let's play it. Why for heat? My wife, my kids, the heat. The Panthers. Pearl Jam. And this will play in here.

That's right. It's been a full year since the Panthers met up with the Tampa Bay Lightning in the playoffs. It's time we take that ass again.

Yeah! That's what's on tap! Lightning! Panthers! Playoffs! Take that ass! Who doesn't understand what that means? Us.

The Panthers and the Lightning are in front of me, and somebody, and in this case it was you, says, what's going to happen? Sometimes less is more. Panthers are going to take that ass.

I'll tell you what else. I saw a post on Twitter yesterday how the Toronto Maple Leafs That they won the division. Guess what? It's been two years, and that's two years too long. Take that ass, too. Oh, we're taking two asses.

I think you made it seem like you're angry at Pablo, right? That's the impression I had when I walked in today.

We played half the squad. Playing guys I never even heard of. Yeah. Doesn't matter.

We're the Panthers, baby. I don't know if you paid attention the last two years in the postseason.

I mean, I recall the last two postseasons. What happened? Panthers taking that ass is what I recall.

Yeah, I mean, you see, you can't play without an ass. Like a lizard tail. Yeah. And they're going to meet again this weekend in Tampa. Look, series starts in Tampa. That's okay. Because you know what's going to happen anyway? They're going to take that ass.

You know how I can? It's two guts. Ask me right now. Pose the question. Tampa, Panthers, what do you think? Go ahead. Go ahead. I'll play it out for you again. Maybe you missed it.

Lightning, Panthers, what do you think? Look at this face while I tell this to you, okay? Because I don't want there to be any kind of confusion. You look me right in the eye. Panthers are going to take that ass, man.

Coming back here. 2-0 series lead. Yep.

That's right.

I'm just thinking of Amin running through the airport. It's funny, yeah. Puffin and Puffin, by the way. What a funny visual.

He's right, though. Brian Arakpo is like the one.

Like, I mean, this was certainly the narrative last year where each round, wow, the Panthers have bottled up Kucharov. Wow, the Panthers have bottled up Zemenijad. And wow, the Panthers have bottled up Dreisaitl. Like, that was it every series.

Why is it when you're younger, if you snort, it's like embarrassing? I snort sometimes when I laugh. Whatever.

I mean, you're telling me next time I'm going to be on a flight, I'm going to be thinking to myself, those two guys who are in control, they're not getting along?

I get very uncomfortable with that kind of stuff.

Like, I'm into it. But I get really... Like, I may have to turn away. First season, he might have scarred a kid for life.

We love horror movies in my house. Me, my two boys. We go to the movies. We go to the movies for Marvel movies, you know, superhero movies, and horror movies. We see all the horror movies in the theater. But this movie in particular, it's called Weapons. Have you seen the trailer for this? Anyone? What's her name?

So the trailer for this movie, Weapons, and the trailer is so creepy. It shows these kids like they're running out of their homes in the middle of the night in darkness and they're going missing and something is happening. And the kids, they're, and it's freaking me out every time I see the trailer. I'm really scared of it, but I have to go see it.

I have to find out why are the kids running out of these homes? And I'm scared, but I gotta know. I have to know.

Do you say Goonies? I say Rudy.

Everything they put out is great, that studio.

What if it goes seven games? The home team wins every game. These series never happen?

I mean, it's dumb. I almost puked in games three and four, and you're telling me that the series hasn't started?

Do not put those kids to bed. We do that in my house. Let them watch. We do that in my house. We have wake the kids games in my house.

I loved it. In game three, like, the ovation that the crowd gave with, like, a minute 30 left.

Trap that puck right up against the wall.

I'm surprised we have four.

Austin Matthews must have been so mad when the crowd here chanted USA.

Nate Schmidt.

What about the Zaslow game?

Like they practiced that. Like, it's not pathetic. They're a dump and chase team who wins puck battles against the boards. And in the biggest moment in franchise history, they did exactly what they were supposed to do. To perfection.

Like that 2-0 win for the Panthers in Game 4 as opposed to the 5-4 overtime win in Game 3. That 2-0 win is like you're whispering sweet nothings into my ear. Like that's my game right there.

And finally, you've got Forsling, who looks like Gustav Forsling. I mean, the defense—I forget who it was on the breakaway, but he bottled him up before Bobrovsky had to make it easy.

What about Nugent Hopkins?

What about Evander Kane? Oh, yeah.

Smoking that Hellebuck.

They still might not win this series.

And now he doesn't know because he's got things going on in his personal life that That's why there's no timetable with the Pittsburgh Steelers. I think he's going to eventually make it sound like, not that he was pushed out, but he ultimately decided head's not in anymore. I think he's going to retire.

John, you're in the opening scene of Carlito's Way, which is really one of my all-time favorite movie scenes, in the billiard room with the drug dealers. What do you remember about filming that scene?

And I think they're just going to fold. John, can you rate my Al Pacino from that billiard scene in Carlito's way if I do it for you? I think it's pretty good. Yeah. Okay. Do you need any help? Do you want me to throw you a pine or something? No, you're already dead at this point. Your character's already dead. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, he's in the bathroom. You know, he's hiding out.

He's going to go out. All right, ready? Yeah. You think you're big time? Well, you're going to die!

He was very disrespectful to me was the attack that he took. The Jets owe him nothing. Aaron Glenn owes him less than nothing. And by the way, if this took place over a phone call, you know Aaron Rodgers would have said, you didn't even have the guts to tell me face to face.

I was going to say, have you seen Conclave? That movie's awesome.

Yeah. I don't know anything about that process. This is incredible.

For me, it's the respect part that I think stands out the most. Like, wouldn't you quantify the way his relationship, at least publicly with Robert Sala was, was pretty disrespectful?

I think he's going to retire. I don't think he's playing anymore. I think he's going to retire and I think stringing it out like this works in his favor where he can make it sound like I decided I don't want to play football anymore. Like he said with the Jets, the Jets asked, do you want to play football? He said, I'm interested.

No. And he will do nothing with that. You ever watch those videos? They're terrible.

Sleeping, I love the idea of Dan just like.

If I'm looking at you right now, I think you're sleeping, even if your pen's moving. That's right. Because your eyes are closed.

Folks, listen up. They're here and they're hot. Get ready because Jimmy John's is turning up the heat. After years of perfecting the cold sandwich, toasted sandwiches are finally here. Try one of their three all-new toasted creations.

The Toasted Chicken Bacon Ranch, All Natural Chicken, Creamy Homestyle Ranch, Applewood Smoked Bacon, Melted Provolone Fresh Veggies, all on a perfectly toasted French bread. Good God, does that sound delicious. Or the toasted roast beef and cheddar, premium roast beef, melty cheddar, creamy horseradish sauce, crispy fried onions, fresh veggies, golden toasted French bread.

It just keeps getting better. And the toasted ultimate Italian salami, capicola, smoked ham, applewood smoked bacon, melted pro-blown, shredded Parmesan, fresh veggies toasted to perfection. Or take your favorite Jimmy John classics like the number nine Italian nightclub or the number 11 country club and get them toasted.

Order now at JimmyJohns.com on the Jimmy John's app or stop by your local Jimmy John's today.

This episode is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours, guys.

Don't look now. Don't Look Now, presented by Smirnoff, the world's number one vodka. Please drink responsibly.

Don't look, but Zazz, you love that fit.

How do you feel about giving a take with your eyes closed? Because you look uncomfortable doing it.

But you're a pro's pro, though.

This is what it's like in my house. Now imagine I'm walking into the room with you guys like, hey, what's up?

It's too scary.

All right, you guys can open your eyes now.

Oh, God.

Yeah, you do. My wife does this thing, and I don't know why she doesn't start the night with it. My wife goes to bed. I have a true to me. My wife goes to bed before me. So around 1030, 11, she goes to bed. I'm usually 1145, 12. So she goes to bed around 1130, a half hour after she's been in there, just before I go to bed.

She always emerges from the room, walks to the freezer of our kitchen, opens the freezer, pulls out a little baggie, and she has an eye mask. that she likes a cold, compressy eye mask. I don't know why she doesn't start the night with it. She always comes out a half hour after she's gone to bed, kind of like, can't sleep, need the eye mask.

Like, just get the eye mask from the go, and then you might be better. But is this a thing with anybody? Have you guys ever heard of the cold eye mask when you're sleeping? Yeah, it's to help with the bags. It's to help with the crow's feet. It's to help... I think she does it more just to help her sleep, but I think it just feels nice. I mean, I think that's a side effect of it.

She hasn't said to me, this is why I'm doing that. But I'm always just like, why don't you do it from the start? It's weird. You're going to the freezer for an eye mask.

Does anyone in this room, do you guys have any backup? Like when you can't sleep and you've been rolling around for a half hour, what's your go-to? I'm going to think about this. I can always sleep. Do you have any?

Headline, the day Trent Tucker changed NBA history. You're right, MLK Day, 1990.

It makes it more sad, though, if he's just alone in his house on a couch. That's true. Regardless, they're going to want a shot of him, so you might as well have it look festive.

in terms of odds of winning the championship.

Guys, it's 40 minutes later, and I have to pee again. Whoa! See you later. Folks, listen up. They're here and they're hot. Get ready because Jimmy John's is turning up the heat. After years of perfecting the cold sandwich, toasted sandwiches are finally here. Try one of their three all-new toasted creations.

The Toasted Chicken Bacon Ranch, all-natural chicken, creamy homestyle ranch, applewood smoked bacon, melted provolone, fresh veggies, all on a perfectly toasted French bread. Good God, does that sound delicious. or the toasted roast beef and cheddar, premium roast beef, melty cheddar, creamy horseradish sauce, crispy fried onions, fresh veggies, golden toasted French bread.

It just keeps getting better. And the toasted ultimate Italian salami, capicola, smoked ham, applewood smoked bacon, melted pro-blown, shredded Parmesan, fresh veggies toasted to perfection. Or take your favorite Jimmy John classics like the number nine Italian nightclub or the number 11 country club and get them toasted.

Order now at JimmyJohns.com on the Jimmy John's app or stop by your local Jimmy John's today.

I feel like we have some examples of that quarterback sometimes turns out to be good. A guy that sits, Aaron Rodgers did it. Lamar Jackson sat way longer than we thought. Roethlisberger didn't sit forever, but he was sitting for a little longer, I think, than they thought. So I feel like if I'm Shadur, I'm like, okay, this happens.

It happens with someone every other year where you think they might go mid-first round, they go later, and it turns out okay. You end up on a better team a lot of times.

I want to blame somebody, though. Who do I blame for this Shadur thing? Dion. Okay.

I mean, it wasn't a full. You're a good boy. Doesn't matter. I think I did enough, though. Did you get an eighth? Yeah, I think I got an eighth.

Yeah, I'm not a, that won't happen to me. They do a different set every time. I'm a big set list guy. I like to plan out my bathroom trips. If I'm going to a concert where the set list is the same every night, I prefer that. I want to see the set list. I know I'm going to go after this song, I'm going to the bathroom.

I got a two song bridge here where it's two bad songs I don't care about going to go to the bathroom there. That's how I play that concert.

There is nothing worse than you're in the bathroom. And a song you're really looking forward to hearing is like, or you're in line and you're like two away from getting a beer. And it's like, you're running out of the line. All of a sudden you're going back for some song. It's just like that. I get your point there. There is nothing worse than missing a song that you really wanted to hear.

Yeah, I don't even care about NASCAR. I thought he was interesting.

I'm very down on this Travis Scott. By the way, can I also tell you, not only have I been to a Travis Scott concert, but I was on the railing on the floor at a Travis Scott concert. How is that look at me, Louie, if I say that I was at a concert? I didn't say I had lunch with him anyway.

I don't know anything about Travis Scott. My son was there with a few of his friends. I was hanging underneath in the doer's lounge and I thought the show was almost over. So I went out so I can kind of meet up with my son and I have the all access pass and I'm just kind of waiting on the rail, which by the way, no one else is on the floor. I'm like the only one on the floor. So everyone saw me.

I'm on the rail at the Travis Scott show.

And I was on the rail for like 30 minutes. The show just wouldn't end. It was really strange. No, I didn't have a good time. It was weird, man. I don't get it.

I've never seen a crowd like the one at that show.

All the way up top in the rafters, jumping up and down.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's why I'm down on him. He punched him right in the side of the... I don't like that.

Yeah, he had a busted eardrum, apparently, and he showed up to work two days later, Cody, and he had a busted-up eye.

I don't want our big sporting events overseas. I don't like that. I want all big WWE shows overseas. If I can't be at the show, I want it to be overseas.

Yeah, it's very soccer.

But the explanation worked, though, as to why he's keeping the same look, the same colors, the same music.

Oh, he's going to be on TV again this Monday and the Monday after that. I need more answers.

Yeah. And so maybe next week will be, all right, this is why I now love The Rock.

And then he called him a whiny bitch, which everybody's going to think is cool. If you call someone a whiny bitch in wrestling, you're the much cooler guy.

The part that's also interesting to me is and, you know, there's a meme out there now with the kid who he was at a plant. No way was that a plant.

Well, they may have told him, hey, there's a kid sitting right over here. He's wearing your gear. Maybe that's the kid you point out. We'll be ready for it.

Yeah. You know, plant. So you got this meme now, this kid who is shook. And I'm just thinking, man, because wrestling wasn't like that when I was a kid where I'm a huge Hulk Hogan fan growing up, the age that that kid was in the crowd.

And if my hero is now telling me as a kid to go F myself, like that's wild to me that kids are probably so sad at what's going on there on my television that I'm super entertained by.

I'm not going out there. That's a shame. This one's in Vegas. I know. I'm not going out there.

It's a little bit too far. It's a very long flight. It's two nights. I mean, these ticket prices.

They start early in the day.

Yeah, let's go out to dinner.

Awesome. Yeah.

I'm not going this year.

When I had the good hair, I would wait at least a month. Every 10 days.

With, like, the big blade?

Are you ever worried? Right, I guess if I just got a haircut, it might be.

You're asking if you should go and cheat on your barber. Does your barber think that when he goes on vacation you're just not allowed to get a haircut?

I mean, he's on vacation.

Well, I know what haircuts cost because I take my kids. I mean, if you're a male and you're paying 30 bucks, it's a lot.

This is my all-in price. Is this a shave also? Yes.

That number is offensive.

That number is shocking.

60, 70, 80.

I just told you over 30. Now, granted, I didn't say the beard, but if you're paying over 30, you're a male.

You're giving a 40% tip then.

$70 every two weeks, you said?

What is not an acceptable tip for the barber?

Yeah, why doesn't he recommend a guy? Like when a doctor leaves town, a doctor says, okay, God forbid something happens, you're going to pick up my patients.

I just don't understand. He goes on vacation. He thinks you're supposed to look sloppy until he gets back?

Yeah, all the time.

No, because I shave my head with, you know, with the electric razor, like straight up.

You know, the closest. How about on the beard? Just go all over the place.

No, I do it all. I do it all. I don't use shaving cream and a regular razor anymore. I haven't done that in years.

You just raw dogged it.

You raw dogged it. Well, no, I'm using an electric razor. No, I know.

That's not raw dogging.

No, I use the electrical razor all over, beard and head. Do you get ingrown hairs?

But why was it considered DEI, Jackie Robinson?

Yeah, you do, actually. Yeah, really? Yeah.

Maybe.

Maybe I'm mistaken.

You know why I don't go full beard? I used to, but my beard comes in all white now, and I look too old. There's stuff for that. No, see, I can't do that because then everybody's like, oh, wow, you're coloring your beard. Like, I've waited too long to do that. I should have done that when it started to gray.

But it's not a hire, he was drafted.

It was not a good tournament day yesterday. It was not good.

It always balances itself out. Always. And the fact that we had no madness yesterday, you'll see. You're going to have like four or five games today where you're going to have the madness. It always balances out.

Well, I don't know. The 8-9 yesterday was a blowout. That was Louisville and Creighton, right?

I came in yesterday and I was not worried, but man, this is a day for me to come in. We're going to do two hours on Jackie Robinson here.

Host has got this one. Well, no, but that's not the way I want to look at it because I have to contribute. I'm not here for nothing. And it's like, all right, we do Jackie Robinson, I guess.

It's remarkable because... Okay, so they're saying on it that the reason that it was there originally was because he's black, not that he was hired. The term that Roy is saying there that they're using, that's why it was on the page, right?

They're trying to say it's only included there, but we're only making note of this accomplishment because he's black. That's what they're saying.

It will be less confusing than the PLG statement.

Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. I guess I understand what they're trying to say there, but I think it's interesting hearing about famous people who served in wars.

What did he say?

That's awfully convenient. Oh, that's because you had people on television yesterday who were talking about it, right?

Anything that involves Jackie Robinson is sports. It's sports.

I mean, if it was an actor or a musician, you know, black actor, black musician, who they removed from those pages, like, Mina Kimes wasn't going to be using her FaceTime on Around the Horn for it. It's because it's Jackie Robinson, and Jackie Robinson is sports. Like I said, in any place where Jackie Robinson is mentioned, that's sports.

It's kind of surprising that they did that, though, no?

It was. It was a good day for sports.