Tyler Fischer
Appearances
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
He looks like a flaky pastry, a little Italian. Yeah, the flaky Italian nigga, nigga, yeah, yeah.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
It's not very small. It's dangerous. and they got a sword. That knife is adorable.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
9-11 was funnier than that. Yeah. God damn, dude. Wild, Joshua.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Yeah? What do you... Do you deliver... It looks like you deliver frisbees or something. What do you deliver? What is your load? What's your load?
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
There's the clit. I'm trying to figure that out. Yeah, see it? There it is. You should teach a class on that. I should. Damn.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Look at it, folks. Real cubic zirconium. You should pierce that guy's vagina with your earring, dude.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Tyler Fisher, what the hell's up, my man? I'm sorry, I thought this was gonna be rough. I just landed, I took a Delta flight here and I'm still just getting reacquainted. You're upside down. Yeah, it's all upside down now.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
How about a vest jacket switch? I'm calling tech support. We need a new fucking comedian. We need a new comedian. This podcast may be recorded. These jokes may be recorded.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
You sure you're not in the valley? It looks like you direct fat porn.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
They would have to slingshot you into her pussy. I'm cool with that. I'm cool with that. We're going together. All three of us. We'll go together. She look better now. Us three could fuck Lizzo.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
We all get on his shoulders. Yeah. Hell yeah. That shirt's looking pretty good, Ari. He been stealing shirts all night, dude.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
I'm wearing some meth addict shirt. She's still thick as fuck. But you see that shit, though?
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Why not? I like this guy. What's the difference? He's killed a couple, it looks like. You look like the accountant for a serial killer.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
I can't see shit, dude. How do you kill those people? How do you fucking kill those people, man? No wonder he's got to stay in shape. He's got to fucking get back in. Do you feel different in those glasses? Yeah, dude. I feel like I want to fuck a kid. Like I want to fuck myself. I can't even figure it out.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
We could catch pedophiles. I'll be the kid. Got him! Get him! Come on, get him! I can't see him! I can't see him! I can't fuck him if I can't see him!
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
It just looks like pedophile Halloween costume. It's just in the bag. You go, oh, sure.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
This is incredible. I would lose the glasses. You look fucking hot, man. Is that what I look like? No. Where are my single people? Come on, people. He also looks like Macaulay Culkin on meth. This is weird, man.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
That is unbelievable. You could be a Delta pilot. I could, I could.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Well, you might be eating ear pussy when that guy takes his shirt back off.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Take the glasses off and go to town on that guy's fucking ear. He's going to let you go up on him.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
You don't get to keep that one. You got a big one. I'll take the hat. The budget is tight. We'll keep the shirt, but I'll take the hat. Here's 10 bucks. Go buy a new shirt.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
I gotta say something. Tonight, this might be the only shirt that actually fits me. Okay.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
I think we're reading different Bibles. Yeah, yeah. It's called the e-Biblebonics.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Two less than tonight. And I like... I could overdose on this, I'm so small.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Dude, it looks like I stormed the Capitol in a Tesla. What are you talking about, man? Yeah.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
You could actually afford to lose half a finger. Yeah.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Yeah. Your finger's still longer than mine, and I got the full thing.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
You should finger that guy's ear with that fucking pinky.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
I can't do anything, Tony. I wish I could tell you more. You got to meet with RFK Jr. I don't think you're a vaccine injury. I think you're just retarded. No, I hate to say it. I really hate to say it. He has retarded AIDS. I really hate to say that.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
I would do a couple shots of Pepto-Bismol. and stop being such a pussy?
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
So you and an old person, you can neither understand what the hell you're saying. Oh yeah, I speak old people.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
I thought Cam was going to suggest it. I'm a liberal, so I can't get in trouble.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Trump should make an executive order that we could say the N-word once a month. At least once a month. Once a month, right? Get once a month. Once a month.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
See that Delta plane that crashed? Yeah. Because the day we saw each other at the airport was the day I got banned for life from Delta, and then now they're crashing all the time. How do you explain that, Tyler?
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
I got some Pepto-Bismol. Oh, my goodness. Look at that.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
It's better bacon. You said bacon bits like the trademark brand shaker drive.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Whoa. What do you got there? It's coconut water I brought from home.