Ty
Appearances
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
We're about to get married. I'm like, who am I marrying? What's this? You know what I mean? I'm going through my own shit, but I didn't want to like pour all out because I didn't know what was going on. And so I was trying to tread lightly and I just, I guess I sucked at treading lightly because I am too blunt and I just speak and whatever. Like I...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, I just know, I just remember feeling very stuck. Yeah. Super, like, stuck. And also concerned that, is this the rest of our life? Is this what it's going to be like? Like, this is crazy.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. I like it. Unless they say like, hey, you can say my name. Right. Even if you tell us so that we can say your name, we're probably not going to say your name. I think it's better when it's anonymous. Yeah. Because, hey, it just works.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, it's like post-relinquishment parenting. Yeah. They call it like, you know, a birth mom who was placed and then she goes on to have other kids. Like, post-relinquishing parenting is a super triggering thing. And I think, honestly, like, look back at it. I think it's exactly what happened. You had Nova. We were all... We're supposed to be happy.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And you're like, why am I not, like, feeling like what's going... I think it just was...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. Yeah, because it's not like you didn't bond with Nova. Oh, no, I definitely did. Yeah, some women, like, you know, talk about, like, not even being able to bond, didn't really hold, didn't, like, have the desire. And you weren't like that at all. You just seemed very robotic. Yeah. It's just, like, I remember talking to you, and you'd be like, you know, yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I was just like, God, there's no, like... like reciprocal anything.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And you were like, just, just, just like this numb walking thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So I knew something was off. I just didn't know how to deal with it. And, like, yeah, I don't know. I just feel... Looking back, I just feel really bad. I wish I would have been more educated. I wish someone would have, like, pulled me aside and said, like, hey, have you asked for this? Have you tried this? Have you done that? You know what I mean?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I was just trying to, like... I was almost, like, trying to pretend, like, it would just go away.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I was worried for sure. But I think the worry manifested in the frustration. Cause I'm like, all right, get up. We're going to go for a walk. You're like, come on. Like, like, you know, and, and then when you just didn't want to do it or you had no enthusiasm, I was like, I just want to shake.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
you like what's wrong with you like you know what i mean like so that concern turned into frustration i think the frustration is what was delivered when we were filming because they wanted of course to dive deep into that oh she's on the oh what's going on and i'm like you know so yeah i don't know i just feel bad i feel if i can go back in time i wish i would have been you know much more educated and more softer well and obviously you must have you must have had a
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
You know, first I remember at first, like, I don't know. And I was like, you don't know. Like, I mean, usually people answer like, yeah, I'm good. Or no, I'm not. You were like, I don't know. And I'm like, that's, that's what I'm saying. Like, yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And yeah, like I remember like going up to the room too, because obviously when you went up there to take a nap, I just left, you know, I'm like, whatever, it's fine. But I remember going up there, I'm like, I can't do this anymore.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Because I remember thinking in my head, it comes to a point when you're dealing with someone else who has a mental illness or has something going on, where burnout fatigue, it's like you get- Well, it takes a toll on the other person. Yeah, the caretaker gets caretaking fatigue. They get burnt out. They feel whatever they feel. And so I felt like, I can't do this anymore. Right. Because then what?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I think it kind of all comes together in that realm.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
If I lose myself- by trying to always protect this, then, then what?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Now Nova's got two parents who are checked out, you know what I mean? Because I'm over here, you know, whatever. So I remember going up to the room and just being like, we got it. Something's gotta, something's gotta happen.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
But I think it's important that we, in the beginning of this, kind of go through... Stuff that we feel we should just clarify things on or explain further or whatever.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, it was scary. Oh yeah, it was scary for me too. Because I also feel like people don't know what it's like to be the other person. They're like, oh my God, I feel so bad. She's depressed. But no one knows what it's like when you love somebody watching them do it. Watching them just crumble in front of you and you can't do anything about it. It's like you feel so helpless.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
It's like, oh my God, what do I do? So I feel like... At the same time, I was going through my own stuff, just putting it on the back burner. Yeah, which is not fair. Well, no, but knowing that I'll come back to this. Yeah. Like you said, I had a little bit more experience with therapy and stuff like that, being a younger kid. So I knew I was like, I'm just going to put this on the back burner.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
But you were the priority at that point. So I feel like... You know, I just, I don't know. I just feel like the postpartum depression stuff needs to be talked about more.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
and just help out there. Well, it's one of those things too, like you said, you go to the doctor and they say, here's some pills. That's half the treatment plan.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Any psychiatrist or therapist will tell you pills are half, 50%. The other 50% is therapy. Like, dude, you can't just take a pill. If you could just take a pill, everyone would be okay. We would have no mental health crises, right? You just take a pill and everything would be fine.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And the first thing that I was like, well, what I see a lot of is obviously people are taking the clips that we filmed, you know, I don't know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So that's the whole point is that pills are 50% of the treatment plan.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I think a lot of people don't even 50. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
It's my therapist. It's like, Oh, you you're, you're burnt out. And I'm like, okay. I'm a dad. And yeah, like, sure. Yeah. No, no, no. You're not understanding. It's like a thing. It's like a caretaking fatigue. Like you literally, and they can lead into caretaking. You can get depressed. Right. Oh, it makes sense. And I remember I, like I said, I was freaked out.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I was like, Oh my God, I can't afford that. I said, we can't both be depressed people. Like, Oh,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I'm like, Oh my God. Like what? And so I remember like learning about it and reading about it and then, Oh, okay. Like this is what I got to do. And that's when I kind of was like, that's when I was kind of like, okay, I can't put this in the back burner for too much. No, bring it forward.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
But, yeah, I just think, yeah, I think the post-birth resources for women should be higher.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
10 12 years ago whatever and they're kind of using it in nowadays way and like oh this is what was going on back then and how trying to dissect it yeah whatever they're trying to do and um and of course it always comes back to like your when you were just had severe postpartum depression and when you were down and out and when you were worried about your weight and and remember we did a whole it was like a whole season oh my god that was the worst season of my life
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, there's a lot of books out there now where people talk about their experience. And also, what about genetic testing? Genetic testing is what you do to figure out what your body metabolizes as far as medication goes. It works for everything from Tylenol to antipsychotics. It'll tell you exactly what medication will not work and what medication will work.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Why we're not implementing that into the medical field is weird to me. Like that should be a literally a paid for insurance covered thing where you get a genetic test done every time that you go to a doctor. And, and then once you get that list, you know, okay, that why, why be a guinea pig? For medications.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Which I think brings up a good point. People say, oh, she got back from treatment, went back to it, going back to it. It's like, no, no, no. She went back to treatment because her symptoms were not gone.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yep. Genetic testing. Isn't that crazy?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I think it did, too. Because after the six weeks or whatever, after you being on the new stuff, I was like, oh, wow. There's a little bit... I can see a little bit of light coming back. Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I think I'm proud of you because I think in spite of that, like you were worried about, Oh my God, he's in a, be burdened and he's going to feel this and he's going to feel that, but you're still like, it's worth the risk. I had to do it for myself. I had to do it. I remember I looked back and I'm like, damn, I'm so glad you did that because we wouldn't even be where we are.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I think it saved it. Yeah. Because I don't know what would have happened.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
What's worse? Oh, it's true. And that's what I think people don't understand is that... And also, like, I remember telling you that I can't do this anymore. If this is what it's going to be like, then we just... We're not going to work. Yeah. Because there comes a point in time where I have to retreat and I have to figure out my shit.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Honestly. It was the worst season. Actually, it was like two seasons. I feel like we had a certain producer and it just wasn't working.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I think when you got back from treatment, that's when I felt... the freedom to do so. I was like, okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. I was learning. Yeah. And then you got back and I'm like, all right, you feel... I feel good. I'm going to... Now I'm going to put the... back on the front burner. Right. And I think people... criticized me a lot for that, which is fine. I mean, they criticize you for leaving. Yeah, of course.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
That's what we're here for. But I remember getting criticized because it was like, oh, you know, now you're going to do a trial separation. Now you're going to do all these things.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I couldn't help it. I thought that... He wants to play big bad, you know? No, I... Hey, I... No, I fully admit, I was a bitch. I could... I didn't do... The therapist that I was seeing... I mean, you did for a minute. Yeah, the therapist that I was seeing was like, this is what a... This is what it's called, and it's called... You know, you just kind of, like...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
you know, you just separate, focus on yourself for a little bit. Yeah. It feels like, and then I remember going to my therapist after a week of it. And I was like, no, it ain't for me. And she's like, well, why? And I'm like, well, because I, I said, I don't, I want to be with my wife. I want to be with my kid. I said, and I supported it. Like it was hard for me. I know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. Yeah. Cause I think that's, I mean, that's what it was required. I think for me, cause I was like, I have to do this or else what am I going to do? I didn't want to work out trial separation.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
You're going to divorce me. The very first time you ever asked me that, I said, divorce is not even on my radar.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
He wants to divorce me. It wasn't even close. I wasn't even thinking about divorcing. I'm thinking about, I got to separate myself from the... And I think it was important for me to do that because when you were gone, I got in robot mode of kind of, like, monitoring your depression, making sure Noah was good. And I got in, like, you know, my own dad robotic mode.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I knew that I had to, like, remove myself from it so that way I could, like, look at it from a different perspective.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, it was hard. I mean, missing and then on top of it, you know, it's like.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Schools and all. Yeah. Just all of it. And so I knew I needed to get out of it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. And then I remember thinking, feeling guilty. I mean, I got to go back to the house because my therapist told me I can't do this. That's why I feel like I'm breaking the rules. I'm not listening.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I look back at now and it wasn't necessary. But maybe it was. I don't know. I don't think it was. And I'm not saying don't listen to your therapist. I'm saying follow your intuition. My intuition never told me to do the trial separation. My intuition was saying.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Because I'm not a professional therapist.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And she was talking about all these things. And I'm like, okay, so maybe there's things.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. Well, I also feel like it's almost like when you're filming a reality show, it's like you bring up one thing. Even if you're just talking to the producer, like, just chilling.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
are you serious i mean she helped me a lot elvis i mean she talked no that stuff yeah but some of the scenes and stuff i've seen i'm like oh she hates me she thinks i'm crazy wow i never got okay i mean i get i guess what you're watching it from your whatever okay yeah but i mean i don't know all i know is my intuition was saying otherwise but i knew i had to be logical because i'm not a mental health professional and i could be addicted to you or i could be whatever the fuck was going on we're trauma yeah we're trauma bonded oh
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Listen, I'll be honest with you, everyone out there. If we're trauma-bonded, I really highly suggest it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Like we've been using our Instagram page to kind of like, kind of bring you guys into this whole experience, which I think is the best because you guys bring up stuff that we never even, I would never even have thought of.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And they also said that everyone to a point, if you're with someone long enough throughout a period of your life... Yeah. You will bond over trauma. Of course. It won't be the only bond you have. No. But you go through, like, for instance, growing up and being married for a long time, you know, the spouse's parent dies. That's trauma. Right. You're going to bond over that. You are. Of course.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So I think it's interesting when Dr. Mike was like, well, everyone's trauma-bonded. And I was like, whoa, whoa, what does that mean? And he's like, well, everyone, he said, what I mean by is that there's a healthy level and there's a toxic level. Right. He's like, and, but everyone, just like everyone to a point is codependent.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And then they go, oh, and they, like, attack that situation and go, okay, let's, let's, let's.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
We have to be or else all babies would die. We'd all die. So he's like, it just, there's a spectrum and a level of where it's toxic.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
okay well love it yeah oh we love each other i don't know bring it you call it trauma bond i call it support and love and i don't know what else to call it i don't yeah i don't understand it hey if we're trauma bond i highly suggest it for people so I mean, I've confirmed that we're not because we've got confirmed from multiple people.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
we're not abused. And you know what I mean?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Well, I, well, it's like when I, you control all of my things, dictating motherfucker. Um, but people like, it's also even with our friends. It's like, I'll see like in here, some of their issues in their relationships. And I'm like, Whoa, I think we're like, I mean, like, dude, like, I don't think people understand. We don't fight.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And we've never called each other out of like our name. Yeah. I think it's almost like kind of weird that like, I almost like something wrong with us because why are we, it's not nothing wrong with us. No, I tell you. Yeah. They, you just don't learn how to communicate. We have done such a good job of like, well, honey, we've been together for like, what?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I feel like that season was like the moment you mentioned about losing the baby weight because everything was about like, oh, you're our first child we're parenting.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I just think it's interesting, though, how it's like, people, well, every couple fights, and I'm like, that's not true. No, I think do we have... It's not if you fight, it's how you fight.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
But I'm saying, like, I would never consider anything that we've had a fight, in my opinion.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Are you thinking of what I'm thinking? I don't know. Are you thinking of what I'm thinking?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I remember the fight, walking on the dirt road all drunk, trying to catch you. Like, I don't want my girlfriend to walk down the road. I was like, we gotta get her, dude.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
No, yeah, he was driving. Yeah, he wasn't. But we were like, I'll remember saying, like, don't let her walk. I'm walking home. I'm like, dude, we're 50 miles from home in the back roads. Who started it? I don't know either, but... But yeah, like, we don't... We just don't fight. So I feel like... And I'm saying, like... It's not if you fight, it's how you fight. Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
You're getting married now. And it came all about your weight. And I remember being like, we talked about it all the time. You always mentioned about like, I want to lose weight. I'm going to do Weight Watchers. I want to do this. I want to do that. And so... we talked about it a lot and it never, it never was like a negative bad thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I think how we fight, I wouldn't call it fight, but how we disagree is not toxic. It's not... No, it's healthy.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Or, like, I know there's a lot of, like, people we know, they'll, like, just pretend that nothing ever happened.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And that's the worst. I could never deal with that anxiety, bro.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I couldn't do it. I could not. I couldn't do it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
One fucking year. But your panic attack was pretty bad.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
What's that? Like, even with something with your mom recently and stuff, you're like, I'm calling.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And it's kind of crazy because look at the polarity. Like, I don't need to come in the bedroom and say, hey, are you okay? Something's wrong with you. Right. You go, something's wrong with me. I got a call.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I don't know, honey. We're going to definitely traumatize our fucking kids eventually.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I, I, but I think when you're in a situation and you're filming a show and they're like, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, we're eating a meal. Right. And we're talking about, and they're like, Hey, so how, how's the weight loss thing going?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
We're the only country that has this problem.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I agree. And it should be covered. Absolutely. It's a mental health thing. Absolutely. But I think the whole problem is that we have to eventually get to a point where... We're looking at it as a real... We need to look at mental health the same way you look at diabetes. Oh my God, you have diabetes. You're diagnosed? Okay, great. Epi, pen, diet change. You get a treatment plan. Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
We need to literally look at mental health the same exact way. It's an illness. To incorporate the mental health into the full biology of health issues. You know what I'm saying? Stop separating it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And stop like demonizing it and stop like, you know, just stop. Stop doing that. It's a health problem. Yeah, it's sick. Come on, dude.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, or divorced parents who are, yeah, that's a whole, yeah, so it's like.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. And that's what I was concerned about. I knew something was wrong. I'm like, dude, I really, yeah, I just, yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
that's not a good feeling no no suicide suicidal ideation is fucking and i also think it's crazy too because i'm just glad that you never had to deal with it like watching some acts i think i like i think you'd have a hard time if you watch me just like completely just oh my god horrible time it's just like because you're you start it's hard i've been doing what you did i'll be like all right we're going here yeah we're talking to this person also it's hard enough to question is something wrong with me
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Oh, remember when I was like, it's gotta be me. I gotta be like, you know, you're like, no Tyler, it's nothing with you. It's me. It's my own shit. It's my mom. It's my life. It's my trauma. And I'm like, are you sure? Because you know what I mean? Like it's hard not to internalize it. Like, okay, she's just not happy with me or something. You know what I mean? Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I feel like when that situation was going on, it was like what the TV didn't show was that behind closed doors, you were talking about how bad you want to lose weight.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I would say boundaries is the only way to do it. Because, and I mean boundaries, and I think people should understand the difference between boundaries and ultimatums.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
They are two different things. And I think people can sometimes like mesh them together and they're not.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Well, a boundary is to protect me. And an ultimatum is to control somebody else.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And their behavior. Right. You can never control somebody else's behavior. Impossible. Can't do it. Waste of time. You're going to drive yourself crazy trying to do.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So, you know, so you can't just first off, get those two things out of your mind where I think my boundary is, you know, you don't stop doing this. I'm going to do this that, you know, a boundary is not a response, right? to them doing something wrong or bad in spite, despite them. It's, it's, it's for yourself. It's to protect yourself. It's, it's, you know what I mean? Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
It's just... So in a way, it's almost like your boundaries, actually more or less like your boundaries to yourself. Like my boundary is I will leave and remove myself from the situation if I notice her drinking.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
The boundary has nothing to do with her, you know, personal behavior. It's like, okay, well, boundaries are also really... Nobody can enforce a boundary but you. Right. The person can't... You are in control of enforcing the boundary or not.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And those are your words. You're like, listen, you need to hold me accountable because I'm not good at this. I was like, okay. And I'm like, I think, you know, 10, 11 years ago, I was, my delivery was off. I messed up tremendously with my delivery. I won't say, I don't think my intent was wrong. I just feel like the way I delivered and expressed that intent was wrong.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Because it can be scary to enforce your boundaries. Especially when you're so used to a certain dynamic.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
It's hard to break that. I always call it the dance.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I remember it's funny because I remember bringing it up to you like years in your relationship where I'm like, you and your mom have a certain dance you do. And that's the only way I could explain it. I'd watch it happen in real time.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And come to find out, it was like your dynamic. That's the dynamic you created with your mom. Right. And so it takes one person to stop moving. I'm going to stop dancing. Yep. And the other person starts going, whoa, you missed a step. We got to twirl. What are you doing? You know what I mean? Yeah, and you're like, I'm not doing this anymore. You're not dancing the right way. Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Well, I'm actually just kind of stopping this dance. I'm stopping this dynamic. I'm switching it to something more healthy for me.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I would just, first of all, I'd be honest. You have to be honest and communicate. Yeah. I mean, I think going into it with the intention of trying not to hurt their feelings is going to be messy.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. Like going to have been like, my goal is to make this amazing. Right. Not to criticize you, not to judge you, not to make you feel like shit about yourself. It's so literally just, I'm trying to get the best out of this.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I get it. Yeah. Um, especially if it has something to do with them. Like, and this was a female.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I guess my thing is, though, is that you can't worry about hurting his feelings. You first need to just ask yourself, what do I want? What do I need? What am I missing? And then you fill in the gaps. You don't need to tell him why you're... Well, it's like, just, okay, this is what I want. This is what I need. And then my whole thing is that, like...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
It's completely a possibility that what you want or what you need, he can't do. Okay. And that is something that I think people need to like get comfortable with.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
It's a whole different... Okay, right. Right? So we got to first establish this is what I need. Can you provide yes or no?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Right? And then I think asking yourself the question to yourself first before asking him, I need this. And it's like, well, he can't do that. Do you know what I'm saying? Okay. And then kind of prioritizing it in your own head before coming to him and saying it. Because that might... If you do it to yourself in your head, you can go, okay, oh, but that could help. And so I definitely think...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
don't approach him without having your own solution. I thought about it, what I want and what I need. And here's a solution. You know what I mean? And that I thought of, do you have any solutions? Is there anything I can do? Also, I think reciprocating like, Hey, I'm going to tell you what I wish you could do better or what I missing or what I need. And then invite him to do the same exact thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Exactly. And there, and that's, what's kind of creating this weird, like, Ooh, I don't want to hurt your feelings. I don't want to hurt your feelings. And it's like, well, you know what? If we're in this for the long haul, I've always said this. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. I kind of apologize later on if it happens, but we got to get to the nitty gritty.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Because me and you are a firm believer that that is one of the pinnacles.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
You have to be honest. You have to communicate and you have to have a healthy sex life. It's, it's, it's, that's it. I mean,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And especially when you're filming a show and this is like the fourth time they've asked this question.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Right. You know? Do that again. Or that was really great.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I think sometimes it's also better because you're –
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
you're in the moment it's organic you're not like you don't have time to go oh man all right she didn't like that last night right so maybe that's what i'm saying yeah or if you don't want to hurt his feelings like oh when you do this this that feels fucking amazing or when you do when you do this that out no that hurts or you don't like that that's weird right i don't know yeah i mean i guess i'm thinking about oh my god i don't know if we're in the middle of doing something you're like ew don't do that well you don't say like that you say ah no that hurts
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
It's like, all right, you know, how much points is that? Like, what's, you know. After a while, it gets super annoying. But I did it because that's part of our job when we were filming. So I just feel like I've been seeing all these comments and the people tagging us. And I'm like, well.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
You're just talking about pain. I know. Not every girl's getting hurt. True. What I'm saying is that, like, if it's not heading to the pain and you're just like.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Because what if in the middle of a role reversal, in the middle, I'm like, ew, don't do that. Or I will say ew. Yeah. Why would you say ew? Don't do that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Because you're thinking of pain, though. Don't do it. You know, you've got to get out. Okay, I'm thinking of, like, not everybody's in pain. So what I'm saying is that vice versa, you don't want to hurt me besides when you had the fucking IUD. But if I said something, like, don't do that. That wasn't hot. I didn't like that at all.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Maybe that's what needs to happen. How about everyone just, you know what? Hey, whoa.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I think, listen, you don't always have to use words spoken. You can write it in a note. You can text it. Everyone feels safer. Just communicate in the safest way for you.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
But I also think, like, talk about your needs and wants and then come up with your own solutions. Or at least I give you a solution.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Because what I'm telling you right now, I think even man, woman, if I tell you, I don't like that. And then you go, what should I do? And I go, I don't know, but I don't like that. Yeah, it doesn't help. You know what I'm saying? So figure out what... your own solution could be.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Cause you imagine, I was like, I don't like you do that. And you're like, well, what should I do different? I'm like, I don't know. Don't do that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
But then you don't know what needs to happen. It's interesting that you bring that up because one of the things that I kept seeing from our Instagram was, uh, the, the, a frequency, uh, I think when we say the relationship advice, a lot of it's sexual. A lot of it has to do with it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Which I think reiterates my point that I think it's one of the number one pinnacles thing. So it's like if, I mean, what's the frequency? Some people are like, oh, I don't want it more than once or twice a week. Some people are like, I want it four times a week. And it's like, that's also an important conversation. I also think there are therapists that are specifically focused
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
For this issue. Yeah. Sex therapists will probably open up all the doors you need to be opened in a safe space.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And you talk to a therapist outside and be like, this is my problem. Okay, we can deliver that in a way that protects everybody. Right. It feels great. So, boom.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I don't necessarily think there is an ethical way to adopt that is completely fully child-centered unless all parties are trauma-informed people. Yeah. That means the adoptive parents, the birth parents, and whatever. They both need to be very trauma-informed about what adoptees experience. My opinion... I don't think infant adoption is ethical. I just don't.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I think foster care adoption is very ethical because you're already going to children in a crisis who need help. They need help. They're already born. They're already here. They're already suffering, really. The foster care system is full of children yearning for that. So I think the question is, what... do you seek to get out of adoption?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Do you seek to be a mom to a newborn baby and be able to raise the baby from a baby to an adult?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
If so, I don't think you should adopt because no baby is a blank slate. You don't just get a baby separated from its mother and has maternal separation trauma and pre-verbal trauma and stuff like that and it's a blank slate. And try to make it your own. It's not. It's not going to happen and that's an unfortunate,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I think if you're struggling with infertility, that you should go and heal or at least start the process of dissecting that infertility trauma way before you adopt, way before even thinking about it. And if it comes to the point where you do want to adopt, I highly suggest the next step is through foster care. I don't think private infant adoption is ethical in any way that I can find out there.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about. She actually said that she was not trauma-informed when she first adopted and that she learned. I had to really learn as an adopted mom. I had to break down my own stereotypes that I built in my head. And she's like, I used to justify some of the decisions I made. I used to justify my desire to be a mom.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
by minimizing or pretty much avoiding the fact that it was trauma-based. You don't have adoption without trauma.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Like I joke about that stuff. Yeah. And I feel like in that context, it, Like, I noticed a lot of the clips they play, they don't play the afterwards where it was like, well, do you think I'm a heifer? And I'm like, no, my God, no.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
No. There's not any ethical options. That's why when we're talking about infant adoption, we're talking about adoptions not necessary. Kinship adoption, aunts, uncles, somewhere... Grandmas. Ileal, anything. That's the first option, I think, if a birth mom...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
is in a situation where it's a crisis and she can't do this and it's not actually first option should be like resources well of course no no right second option yeah we would be like kinship adoption yeah kinship adoption and guardianship i even know like the word using the word adoption like guardianship is a really it's the same thing so i think i think all prospective adoptive parents ask yourself what is my intention for doing this is it to help children
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
It's to become a parent because your infertility trauma does not make you entitled to anyone else's baby. And you can't justify that desire by saying, I'm saving the kid. Ew, that's gross. Don't ever say that. Don't ever say it. You're not... No. That's disturbing. Adoptees don't like that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I shouldn't want to find my birth family. I shouldn't be having these issues, identity crises that I'm having because I should be grateful and I'm taken care of. And that's just not something you do. So I think any prospective adoptive parents... Read the primal wound. Talk to a therapist about your infertility trauma or why you can't have a baby.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yes. I know that there are some people who they just grow up and go, I don't want to have my own natural kid. I just want to adopt. Okay. If you want to do that, foster care. Right. Help the children who really need it and are already born and alive.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Because foster care... is designed for reunification with the biological family. And that's why.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
We know it's best. There's data out there. So just don't go into this blindly. And also don't go into it selfishly. I know you want to be a parent. I understand that. And I think your trauma about not being able to be one is valid and it's real. However, that is your responsibility to figure out. And it is not the responsibility of an innocent child to fulfill that responsibility.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
whole or that had no choice who had no choice um to rob them of their biological identity etc etc to fill this void that you have because you can't have your own children yeah that's not fair that's not child-centered if you adopt it needs to be child-centered period all the way around beautiful i think so too
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So it fits their narrative and it works good for their story. Right. But I'm like, you know, like that heifer scene, bro, I will never.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
The child. And you still have guardianship. You still can make all the legal decisions. It's primary custodial. Yes, forever. There's no difference.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Adoption is literally legal transfer. Just strip them of everything. It's a legal transfer. Yeah. That's all it is. Like, it's literally, there's nothing else to it, so.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
We love it. So subscribe, like, share, comment, whatever. Give us all the love. Give us all the love. We need it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Ever live it down. But I think it's interesting because they play it as if I called you one.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
I don't... I think... That's how it comes across to me. I'm like, wow. I think what they do is they try to understand why would this... What's an excuse for her to stay or this to work out? I don't have to have an excuse. And that's the thing. There is no excuse because I never called you a heifer. It was the producer asking, Tyler, what do you look for? I can't remember what she said.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I was like, well, obviously, I don't want no... I'm being honest. You asked me what I wanted or didn't want. And I was being honest. And I felt like... Just the same way I'd ask you, like, do you want some big old heffing dude? Right. Beer drinking, beer belly guy? And you're like, no. And I'm like, all right, cool.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Now, I think it's ironic because I think if you said that, I don't think you'd get as much hate. Probably not. Do you know what I'm saying? It was the fact that I had said what I said and then I'm a guy and you're a girl. I think it just... Obviously, I get it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Looking back. And then I also feel like when we were doing all those scenes and they were asking, it always brought up when we were eating. It was like... Yeah, it was all the time when we were eating. The quesadilla thing. Oh, God, yeah. Oh, you know, how's the weight loss going as you're taking a bite? And I'm like, oh, it just came across so...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. But also one thing that they don't understand is that it was like two seasons, one where you're pregnant. And then they, I thought they just kind of continued on with the weight thing after that, because when you're pregnant, you had gestational diabetes. Yeah. And your doctor was like, it's a big concern. And you went in there and you gained it. And there she was like, you can't,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, it scared the hell out of me, too. And that's what I think people don't understand is that I was making these – I was making these comments and I was bringing up these concerns based off of being concerned. I was like, I'm concerned because she lists all those... I went to the appointment with you and she listed all those things that could possibly happen to the baby.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah, the baby could be bigger. All this stuff. And I'm like, what? So it freaked me out. So I felt like the way it was portrayed was that I was doing it in a... Like an aggressive, controlling, like... Like, you motherfucker. What the hell's wrong with that?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Yeah. I also feel like it comes down to, like, I'm concerned for your health. I just... So my intent was my concern for your health. My delivery did not... Wasn't very good. You know what I'm saying?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Dude, I don't know of any other guys out there, but it's so irritating, dude. I like to poke it. Because anyone else's wife could just, anytime, anything random, and she comes out with this finger trying to shove it up my ass, and I swear to God, I'm like, get out of there!
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So I guess, but I feel like, I don't know. I just feel like that. That's something I see a lot. And I'm like, I take full accountability for my delivery. It was wrong. I was young. I was naive. I didn't know about postpartum depression. I didn't know about like, I guess my main thing was that I knew you didn't take it. No, I didn't.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And so if you would have said that... I also asked you to hold me accountable. You did. And they didn't put that on camera, obviously. Well, that wasn't filmed, though, either. Right. But... And I asked you, like, is this hurting you? Like, are you offended? And you said no.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
You're hanging out with friends and you're like, hey, right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And so I feel like you would have... And if you would have said, yeah, that really hurt my feelings, I would have been like, holy shit. Yeah, you would have felt like shit. I'm so sorry. Yeah, that wasn't my intent. Like, oh, my God. Like, I don't... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say that. But... Looking back at clips and the music they play and how they cut, I mean, I see people's perspective.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I also feel like I trust you to tell me, hey, that was fucked up or, hey, that was wrong.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I'd be like, oh, my God. So I don't know. I just feel like that was something that I see a lot, which I'll probably never let that down.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Okay. And they're going to still say that I called you a heifer. And that's, I mean, it is what it is. That's fine.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I was literally answering the producer. She asked the question. I was answering her. I was like, why don't I know whoever? I mean, she asked me that question.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So like what I would want or what I didn't, what I wouldn't want. So I was just answering the question of my truth. I guess, you know what I mean? But then there's also a scene that I forgot we filmed and it was like, we're eating dinner with your dad and his girlfriend at the time.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And I watch it back. I'm like, ugh. It was rough. That scene was, it was cringy. Yeah. It was bad because it was like the whole table was like, Well, yeah, and it's going on a 200-calorie diet and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And they aired my part speaking about how, oh, she used to eat so much, so little. Oh, right. You eat like a bird. And you said it first.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Welcome you guys back to Kate and Ty Break It Down. We are on episode, don't even remember. Nope, don't recall. But we appreciate you guys listening and chiming in and we've gotten so much feedback. We really have.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
You were like, well, I used to eat so much little. And then I was like, I piggybacked off what you said and was like, yeah, she used to eat all the time and get really full. And they didn't air the part of you saying it first about you saying, well, I used to eat really not a lot at all and get full really fast. But that scene, I was like, ooh. God.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
So my face was just like, oh my God. Because that was probably the fifth or sixth conversation the producer wanted to have.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
That whole, the whole, those two seasons were just...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Well, I think a lot of it, when you add postpartum depression, was pretty blurry. Because I remember you were, like, on the couch a lot. And I remember being, like, the cameras were coming to film. And I remember feeling anxious. Because I'm like, oh, my God. You know, like, maybe we should go film in the kitchen or something. Because, you know, you were, like, down on the couch a lot or whatever.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
And so, like, I remember feeling anxious. Like, oh, my God. Like, I don't want to... I almost look like, yeah, no, no, I almost, I didn't want, I didn't want them to see you in that way. Like I was, I was so like worried about you that I was like, I don't want them to see her in this way. You're like, this is not my wife. Yeah. It's not her. This is not who she is.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Like, well, we were married at that point, but yeah. Yeah. But I didn't know about postpartum depression. So I didn't know that. I didn't either. I had no idea. I just didn't know what was going on. You know what I mean?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
We were very disconnected. You were very like couch, phone, bed connected.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
We're "Trauma Bonded" and We Like It
Let alone. You were literally like a robot. And I think people don't really people like, I think people look back at that. And a lot of the scenes that were air were us talking about certain stuff too late for your appointment. And I, and at that point I am. so naive with postpartum depression in general and also just frustrated that this is happening and not understanding why.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
We're here. We made it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So they had... Oh, wow. That's way different than... Way different than ours.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. Right. Right. Or kind of condone it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
did you feel a disconnect like you had felt some kind of huge disconnect from oh here i am in my real life in my real house with my husband and my child and my real family and then i gotta do this weird i mean you had to have felt a tug of war and also i feel like it would make you feel like not mentally yeah like oh i was not identity like you know yeah like it would mess with your mental like health i feel like then you start questioning everything like what am i really what do i really want to do what what
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, and even that, though, I don't understand really what happened or what... Were you involved in all that? Or were you not talking to them?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Was that covered on camera though? Like the divorce and all that kind of stuff?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay, okay, got it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
More controversial. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Or the difficult things. Hope you had fun on your ski vacation that you filmed. And now I got to come here and tell you that my whole life's... I could see where... Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Right. I'm totally switched.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And the production wanted you, obviously, to pretend that you were still wanting the divorce and stuff. Oh, for sure. Yeah, that is... So, okay, so you and your husband got divorced, but did you think the show had a role to play in that at all?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay. But how did all that start? Okay, take me back, because I don't know how, like, where... Whatever you feel comfortable with. Yeah, obviously. But, like, you know, Christy knows best. How did that even happen?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Really?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And my investment's not going to pay off.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I get that.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So did your husband support the podcast?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, wow. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So he did, he felt like it was not a good idea for you to keep doing the show.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. And it almost sounds like, it almost sounds like unnecessary, like, like almost like tug of war. Like your family wants you to be this certain thing and you're like, okay, I'll do it, but I'm not, but I will. Cause you know, it's like, how do you even know or be able to differentiate what's
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
authentic to me and what's not it almost would to me it almost thought it'd create some kind of identity issue like i don't even know i did have that yeah like what's real who am i what what do i really want because now i'm all confused and i you got everything coming in different ears like that's got to be like stressful well i wanted to fit into both places and i think just a child coming from
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
That is horrible.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, did you ever mention to your dad or anyone like, hey, this is feeling really not good for me?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow. I wonder what there were. All your other siblings who were involved in the show, obviously, did you ever tell any of them?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So, like, okay, sex tape scandal, what does that mean? Like, what, like, because that's different for a lot of people. Like, Farrah tried saying it was, she was in ahead of sex tape scandal.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, I'm like, no, this is a totally, like, produced porn, so what is this?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, so you've already filed. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, wow. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I've never even heard of an informational report before.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
It's kind of like a paper trail.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, my God.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow. This is your ex best friend.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
But you're saying doggy cam.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, wow.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
No, the math ain't mapping on that one.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
What do you reconcile the guy back together?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, my. Oh, my God. All right. The last thing you need. This is a little.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, huge red flag.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Right. Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
No, I'd be like, no, everyone shut up. We're done. We're done with all this.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. This is actually real, our real life to go behind and film ourselves, how we feel, what just happened. But I feel like your experience was like,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Toxic, manipulative, just like I don't even know how you could have survived more than one season because that sounds like, oh my – and then especially having your whole family on top of it almost pressuring you to keep doing it. Like that's like – I'm sad that you had that. I wish the production would have been – Different. Because what channel was it on? USA. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
God, it's like, what is going on?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So you said this ex best friend, obviously you're not friends with this person.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Because my whole thing is that when you filed that report, how were you even aware to file the report?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
No, but how did you even know to do that? Who did?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
But how did you get a word that there was a possible tape? How did that even happen?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So how did you even know to file the report?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
He did?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And your brother never told you?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I would pretty much contact my sister if someone was like, hey, I gotta, oh, hey sis, I don't even talk to you in a minute, but holy shit. Like your titties are on the video. Your friend just wrote. Right. I'm like, okay, I'm mind blown that the fact that you are literally surrounded by betrayal.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Like, I'm like, wow. That's all it sounds like to me. It does. Like, everyone that was supposed to be on your side... And protect you and support you, yeah. Like, what the fuck?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, wow.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Holy shit.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. And you're only six years old when that first happened. So then you're witnessing... this divide and you're almost too young to even understand fully what the hell is happening.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And what, so was, was, um, was your mom involved at all with the show at all?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay. She wasn't involved at all.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow. And how, and how do you feel like your relationship with her going through all this scandals and all that stuff? How did, how did you feel supported by her?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
How old was he when this happened? You were six? Five. Okay, he was five. So he's also a little younger. But my thing is, okay, so your mom let full custody happen with your dad? Like there was no custody battle?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, there was. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And you never asked your mom after all this happened, like, Hey, what really happened? Like, why did we not, why did you not get custody? Why did you not, I mean, you know, fight more or come see me more. Did I ever get like a dress between you and her?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. I mean, especially because we were, I mean, we were obviously surrounded by, you know, just, yeah, chaos and evictions and drugs and all that kind of stuff. But it sounds like you growing up, your family was pretty stable. Like as far as financially, no one was alcoholics. There was no domestic violence or anything. So it's just kind of sounds like,
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I mean, I'm just kind of confused on on where your mom's role in in all this was when all this is going on.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
OK.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
They paid for the condo, but didn't pay for school.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, right, because your brother is still actively – is he still, like, having issues or –
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
That's weird.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And all those things that you actually like went through, like were you close with your stepmom at that point through all that stuff or?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Why is he setting boundaries around his children?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And it creates, it actually maintains a disconnect at all times. It almost, it's like, you know, kids, obviously no kid likes to be punished or disciplined, but on the other side of that, the discipline, you know, is coming from care.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And so it's like, it would have been beneficial for you because you would have felt like, you know, I know, I don't, no one likes being punished, obviously, but like, you have known you're, you care about me. That's why you want to discipline me and make sure you correct me or whatever. And the fact that you had to just sit there and like, well, yeah, wait for your dad or whatever.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
That's like, that's also torture. Yeah. Yeah. I got to wait for my inevitable, you know, ass beaten or whatever. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay. And then so, okay. So the other ones are, okay, got it. All right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. And you consider that's your mom. Because I don't want to get language.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, really?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, really? Elaborate on that. Okay, so you waited the whole time until 19 and you asked her to adopt you?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, that's right. So disgusting. That's a long time ago.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Because when you did the paper, it didn't really change anything.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
But so the paper, you even wanting and having the desire to do that, you know, get that paperwork done, obviously shows that you yearn for this to all feel. Belonging. Yeah, belonging and to be connected.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So, I mean, was your dad kind of aware that you felt any disconnect or, you know, like just a difference from the other kids?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So you literally walked around as a child with this inside the whole time.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, it's that self-betrayal. And I think when you live so many years... you know, self-betraying yourself, no matter, no wonder you end up getting older and like almost just having this identity. Like, I don't even know.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. It's an identity crisis. I don't know who I am because I spent so much time self-betraying in order to maintain this, you know, facade of I'm okay and everything's fine. Don't worry about me. But it's like, that's heavy. That's heavy stuff to carry around as a kid.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Isn't it weird how you become a mom and it's like a parent?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Actually, I feel like we experience it kind of, we don't know when the next bomb's going to drop because they get to certain ages. And then you get like this feeling of like you get either flashbacks or you get a little bit of PTSD or a little bit of like, oh, my God, like I got to like do this and figure and save this. But it's like, no, it's not an issue. This is a you thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Like, but it brings up a lot of stuff from when you were a kid raising your own kids. Yeah. And then also it's hard to like. I mean, there's a period of time when you have your own children that you kind of get a little mad at your parents for a minute. It's like, dang, now I know what this feels like. And you let this happen when I was that age. Like, how the hell did you do that?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Because the love I have for this kid is how did you even how are you able to do that? And it kind of your situation reminds you a little bit of your dad being in Florida. And you were saying stuff like, you know, he knew you're at home with your mom dealing with all that stuff. And I wondered if your mom.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
ever knew what was going on with, you know, with you at home if she never, like, obviously... I think she did.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. So that's kind of interesting that...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
It's mind-blowing, isn't it? Because you're a parent. You're like, dude, mom, how did you do that?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, because we always talk about there are certain things that her dad moved to Florida and started his whole family all over again. And she was left with her mom. And it was like, how do you even like... I even asked her when we were getting to know each other. I was like, did your dad ever send you Christmas gifts? And she's like, no. And I'm like, that's so weird that you can just like...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
just close off and then jump over here and then forget that it ever happened. But it's like, give a whole, a whole damn child. How does it somewhere?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Like it's insane.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
It's hard to sympathize if I can't wrap my head around it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I know. What do you just go crazy?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
It's one of those things too, where it's like, did you even really, did you have that yearning for your mom?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Which, again, sounds like self-betrayal. You're kind of like, okay, I don't want to ruffle any – this sounds great. All right, Dad, you got it. We'll continue to do all this. But did your dad ever – do you think your dad ever tried to bridge the gap? I do. Okay. So he tried to get you and your mom to be involved with each other?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
They're a wild little kid. One time they had to think about.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So you're saying it did once affect you. I mean, so when did you start going to therapy?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Because you were actually generally tired.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I felt like that sounds... It was me. To a T. Kate explained it in a way that I felt like I didn't really understand... depression in her looks different than it does in me. And so when I was like, how could you be so tired and sleep all the time? And it's like one of those things where it's like, I had to get educated on like what depression actually looks like.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, so he actually recognized it. He, he was watching this and witnessing it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. And I didn't even know how to, you don't know how to see. You don't know how to bring it up as a spouse.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And I also don't want to like... It's a touchy, sensitive thing. And it's like, you're also a mom and I don't know... And you're a new mom, so it's exhausting. And I don't know if it's just that. And so you don't even know how to approach it because you don't want to hurt their feelings. But do you feel like... When he brought it up to you, did you kind of like deny it?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Did you like, what are you talking about?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, it was before COVID.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, I imagine the life that you had, you've had anxiety. Because I think even being a little kid and self-betraying, in my opinion, looks like anxiety for kids. Yeah, because we're little. And the kids don't even know that they're having anxiety, right? But they're just kind of trying to survive.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And I almost feel like with your story so far, it just sounds like you were almost forced on both sides to just kind of always...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
be robotic and not like engage in what you're really feeling it was more or less emotionally monitoring making sure making sure we're good we're good even it's a lot when you talk about getting up and taking your kid to school and kind of putting on this i'm a happy mom everything's great and then you go back to your cave and you like you know what i mean be the real exactly right yeah like that's exhausting and i almost and then i didn't want like people
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Like why did they not get along?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. Really? So this is actually new, like revelation for you. Like it's, that's, that's huge.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, it's a way of just making sure you're being proactive about things because that sounds a lot like you when you're like, I'm like, what are you doing? You're like, I'm having a therapy session. I'm like, oh, well, why? Well, I feel a little weird. Something's off today. I feel something creeping in.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And it sounds like obviously when you're more self-aware, you can be more proactive and hopefully it kind of minimizes that time. So you feel it creeping in. It doesn't fully take hold, but you just jump on it right when you feel it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, but it is really hard when you're the person watching. It's like you don't want to...
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
That is insane. Yeah. And so it took your ex-husband to be like, hey, something's off.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Right.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
or with your parents yeah in the reality show they would have what if they could have just kept playing well listen I firmly believe in divine timing like you can always timing is always on our side even when we feel the complete opposite and so maybe that was the reason why you guys are kind of rekindled got together for that little moment and then for that to come to fruition because honestly like you know now mental health is it's a work in progress constantly you got to constantly be checking in on yourself being self-aware I mean it's it's a job in itself so
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yes.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
But we're huge advocates for therapy. I mean, I don't care if you're the happiest person on the planet. There's always something to gain from it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, we actually did both. We did separate and then we did together when we went through all of our shit and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Is that kind of what you felt like? Okay, so when you say businessman, real estate, what was he?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And do you think people would be.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And people would not be committing suicide if that was the case. So there's a huge thing.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, that's why I want to applaud both you women because that's what you're doing right now. You guys are just openly talking about having struggles with mental health on top of being moms and wives. That's huge. And 10 years ago, I feel like no one would accept this. They'd be criticizing the hell out of it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
You know what I mean? But now it's getting a spotlight that I think it's deserved for a long time. So I'm glad.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Well, they're like, if you go to therapy, you're already, you're too fucked up.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. It's like, yeah. Or you're such a stigma cause. Yeah.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
I know that, but like break it down. Yeah. Instagram, Tik TOK, all that good stuff.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
So how, how was life? Like how's everything going?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Right, what the fuck's happening?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Who's he telling this?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Oh, wow. Really?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
What was that? Why?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
How did that feel for you though? To have your own dad say, Hey, like pretty much hide who you are. Don't like that. I mean, you don't must feel like, what did you feel like?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay. Okay. You're like, fuck this.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Like you got in a fight about it.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
And why is that?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
How many child, how many children, like all siblings?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Dang. Okay.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
They were like... If you don't do it, we're all going to be screwed. Yeah. Wow, that is... So you're manipulated for sure.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
How old were the three? So they're younger.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
That's crazy.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Wow. Okay. So then, and so the, cause I never watched the show ever. So the show just follows your whole family, your siblings and everything. Uh, so did they get involved in your marriage? Like when did that, did they, like, how did they announce it? Hey, and now I'm married and I'm actually having a kid.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Right. Because it's freedom. I have freedom to control my story. Because like you said, I mean, obviously, I don't think people really realize who are not involved in reality TV that like I could say one thing. And then if these higher up producers don't really want to go with that route of the story.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah. then they will. And then you're kind of at the mercy of whatever's ends up on TV. Cause it's not like we get to watch each episode and, and kind of say, yeah, that's cool. That's like, we don't get any say so in what's air on TV. So we don't have to like, just kind of throw our hands up.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
You have more creative control, which is really, trust me, we had creative control.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Things would be a lot different with Team Island. We had a little bit more.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, I also feel like, though, because so since, so you were actually on this show. You said Kindergarten, so you had to have been on it for, what, four years?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Okay, and was your husband involved in that?
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Yeah, because to be honest, we don't really know anything about anything. I know Chris Lee knows best. I know all that stuff, but as far as the details, I don't know anything.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Authentic.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
Didn't feel you're not aligned. I mean, you're not aligned with reality in that point. Cause you're just kind of doing a job.
Cate & Ty Break It Down
Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley
My real family, which makes it even weirder because I'm assuming your other siblings are all involved in this too. So are you close with them? Are you like, you're not at all. Are you serious? Strange from all your siblings.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
Everything. Yeah. It has to be spring now. It is, finally. We got our calendars. The sales are going crazy. So thank y'all for the support. Yeah. Vixie's booked in busy. We got different activations with Crown. I'm just really just blessed. Yes. By just being thankful. You know? I love that.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
I'm a winner in anything I do. When I worked in insurance, I was a winner. I started bartending five years ago, 2019, January, when I got my certificate. I never knew that. Have you told us that before? I don't think so. I left corporate America and moved to Spain. But in the interim, I was like, yeah. This was fun. I could just do it. Help me party with my friends. Right, right.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
Never thought that I would make a career, switch careers completely, have a whole business. But anything that I put my mind to, I'm going to achieve. And I think that's what it takes to be a CEO, to run a business, to be able to hire employees. That first couple years, I couldn't hire nobody. Right. I was grinding. And I still, to this day, do a lot of things behind the scenes. But now...
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
I'm not operating out of a space of survival. I can be strategic. And now I can hire a team of people to come on. So that way I can multitask, do the show, do the job, do the this, do the that. But again, you have to have that within you. And I'm a winner at everything I do.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
Yeah. And entrepreneurship is hard. It's not a walk in the park. Like you really, like they say, you have to put so much of yourself into it. Like it's just so much that people don't see behind the scenes. But I also feel like people get discouraged when it's not instant gratification.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
So, like, if they doing it for a few months, they feel like, oh, I should be here already versus... No, you have to really get that shit out the mud. You really have to put your best effort and everything that you have into it and give it time to grow. Give it some space for that fire to catch on. Right. And for people to really grow your following and to really fuck with you and your brand.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
Yeah, they don't be hungry. So, Todd, what we drinking today? Okay, so since we're talking about getting it out the mud and all of that, I'm going to call this one some pressure. Ooh! Because that's what we putting on them. We putting on the pressure. Period. Period. So this one's cute, y'all. This can be, you can add it as a mocktail or you can have it as a cocktail. Good.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
We have some strawberry. We have some mango. We have some lemon juice in there. We also have a little bit of ginger beer. So it's kind of like a mule, but also like a martini. It's kind of giving. And then I did like a cute little garnish. I took some strawberry leaves and just kind of garnished the top of the drink with that.
Pour Minds Podcast
Toot It N Boot It
I'm going to be listening to Silence in a minute. All these people getting canceled. I mean, when I tell you the devastating...
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
You're going to definitely play. If you see that, once you watch that movie and you see her, you'll be like, oh, yeah, I can do that. Yeah. I can for sure do that. Okay, Ty, what are we drinking today?
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
A travel pack? I need a travel pack for my hair on.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
And y'all know we are in a new year, and we all have new weight loss goals. So we're going to tell y'all how to reach your goals at 4HERS.com.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Yes, all you have to do is go to 4HERS.com and they'll get you a personalized treatment plan. So they have oral treatments, GLP-1 injections, whatever you need to reach your goals. So what you're going to do is go to 4HERS.com backslash poor minds and start your weight loss journey today. Start your initial free online visit today at 4HERS.com slash poorminds.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash poorminds for your personalized weight loss treatment options. 4HERS.com slash poorminds. HERS weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Restrictions apply. Wegovi and Ozempic are not compounded. Actual price depends on product and plan purchase.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
And y'all know we are always talking to y'all about how important your credit is. So we have linked with kickoff.com to get your credit score boosted.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Ooh, I like that. Save a little money. Kickoff has over 100,000 reviews and 98% of them are five stars. So I'm telling you, if you are having problems getting your credit together, Kickoff is the site for you. So what you're going to do is go to getkickoff.com backslash poorminds. That's getkickoff.com backslash poorminds and get your credit right today.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
That's kickoff without the C. Get 80% off at kickoff.com slash poor minds. Must sign up via getkickoff.com slash poor minds to activate offer. Offer applies to new customers first month only. Subject to approval. Offer subject to change. Terms and conditions may apply. Point stat based on Equifax.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Advantage score 3.0 changes for kickoff users starting under 600 who made their first on-time payment between January 2021 and March 2024. Payment and credit activity outside kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Individual results may vary.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Everything. That's why we be bleeping our cuss words out.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
They make a lot of money, but it's so hard to get, what are they called? Because it's not, is it subscribers on Twitch? What's it called?
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
You post every day at this time, I'm going to push your content out. So I think it's all of that stuff, like with the algorithm and stuff now, it's so tricky and it's so hard. But like I say, anybody that has a podcast out there or doing skits or vlogs or whatever you're doing, I always say I never understand what people do things in seasons. Or when they take breaks. I never understand.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
It works for some people. Maybe it does. We ain't taking no breaks over here.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
You are. Like... My hair can't reach no goddamn bun.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Get to sleep. You can go to sleep in the back. I be curling my hair with rice.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Yes, and it also can help you find doctors that are in your insurance and your network. So whatever you need, you're going to go to ZocDoc.com backslash poor minds. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com backslash poor minds.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash poor minds. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash poor minds to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Yes, and they're free from all the harsh chemicals, so you won't be doing no damage down there, okay? So if you want to try Good Wipes, they'll be available at Target, Kroger... Any place that you can get your local groceries and you can find them in the toilet paper aisle. If you're more of an online shopper, look on Amazon. Tell them we sent you.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
If you want to upgrade your restroom ritual, you can grab good wipes at Target, Walmart, Kroger, and most local grocery stores. Just head to the toilet paper aisle and look for the bright aqua, rose, and emerald packages. They're also available on Amazon if you're more of an online shopper.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
You know what I'm saying? I agree. So she kind of ate that down. Rest in peace to Ms. Lorna. That's a true story. I ain't lie that time.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Ever since I was a little girl, I've loved being on camera, entertaining myself and everybody around me by sharing my thoughts and opinions on anything pop culture. For the past few years, I've heard your requests, but now it's finally time to deliver.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Oh, no. Okay, so yeah, move on, move on. I think you should move on. All right, question number two. I need to vent and figure out how to move forward from this situation, ship.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
Period. Muse Beauty. And you can see me featured on the Valentine's Day ad.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
A model. Okay. A true model. Repertoire. Beauty model.
Pour Minds Podcast
H'eron Heroines FT. Blynn Cuhh
We're reviewing Love is Blind right now. So y'all make sure y'all tune in. Real Housewives of Atlanta is starting on March 9th.