Susan Bratton
Appearances
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Yeah, step one is often just holding each other. One of the techniques there, I have these two techniques that come from one of my books. One of my most popular books is a book called Sexual Soulmates. because sexual soulmates are not out there waiting for you. You co-create your connection with your partner.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
You don't even need to have a conversation. You can just go crawl into your partner's arms and say... And this is something that I love to teach men. I love to teach men how to run a woman a menu of small offers. So the problem is that they're both feeling... Eliza and her husband are likely both. They're dissatisfied. They feel disconnected.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
They're not speaking about it. And... She feels like we should be having sex, but we're not, right? It's a should be having sex. What is sex? Intercourse. Well, she's not turned on. She hasn't had sex in God knows how long. She's not ready to be penetrated. She needs to get warmed up. You know, it's very, very slow, the female arousal system.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
And it takes 15, 20, 30 minutes when it's been a long time between lovemaking sessions to get out of your head, into your body, calmed down. Because arousal, it's not, I'm going to push your buttons and I'm going to spin your dials, which is what guys try to do. They're like, I've got a goal. I've got to give her an orgasm. Let's go. I'm full speed ahead.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Where in reality, it's, oh, I need to hold her. I need to grab her up in my big, muscly arms. And I need to just let her calm down and relax. Remember what she loved about you and how much she loves you and how good you smell and how good you feel and how safe she feels right in this moment.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
And even if you've lost that connection, you can have many renaissance in your relationship throughout the years. You can come back together and it can be better than ever again. And there are two techniques out of that book that I think are kind of like a foundation. One of them is called the sexual soulmate pact.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Yeah, I do too. I think that if Eliza stopped feeling guilty and said, okay, I just, I'm just going to start small. And if her husband, if she said to her husband, I just want to start small again. I just want to, let's crawl and then walk and then run back to lovemaking when we can. Let's acknowledge that we're in the time of our relationship when the kids make it really hard.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Let's acknowledge that we want to have more intimacy together. And let's start with small offers. And then if he starts saying to her, How about Thursday night? I bring home some Chinese. We get the kids in the bath. We get them in bed. We divide and conquer. We put them down. I'll go in, take a quick shower. I'll set up the bedroom. I'll set up the nest. I'll light a candle.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
I'll lay out some fresh towels. I'll get your favorite lube. I'll put on the sexy playlist that you like. And all I want you to do is relax. There's no pressure to do anything. I won't be mad if we don't have intercourse. What I'm going to do is I'm going to hold you. I'm going to get my hands on you. I'm going to rub whatever hurts. I'm going to tell you how much I love you.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
I'm going to snuggle you. I might kiss you if you want to kiss me. We'll see how it goes. No pressure.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Because if she has pressure, then she's going to feel stressed. And if she feels stressed, she can't get into arousal. As soon as you take the pressure off and let her just see what happens, then her body will go into arousal and connection and feel safe and relaxed, and she'll start to let down and get that turn on going.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Yeah.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
And that pact is an agreement between partners where I can say anything I want to you and you're going to be happy I told you. And you're not going to take it as criticism or you did anything wrong. You're going to be hungry for me to tell you what I have an appetite for, what I want, how I'm feeling. Am I a kitty cat? Do you need to hold me in your arms? Do you need to pet me?
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Yeah. This is one of the reasons that I like erotic playdates so much.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Erotic playdates are so... All right, I've written hundreds of sex techniques. I've written dozens of communication skills. And what people really want, they don't necessarily just want a technique or a skill. They just want to have fun. They want erotic adventure. I just want to have fun having sex with you. I don't want it to be like, I'm going to be finding your, you know, G-spot or whatever.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Like, that's fun. That's fun. That could be one of the things you want to do. That could be one of your erotic play dates. It's like, let's find our G-spot. Let's try this sex toy. Let's do a lingerie photo shoot. Let's have sex on the dining room table when the kids are away. Let's do whatever. When you start to think about your sexuality not as, oh, we have to grab a boob and stick it in.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
We have to have intercourse. And when you move away from that and you take the pressure off, you have a lot more intercourse than Because you start having fun. You start trying things. And when you try things, you have new relationship energy. Sex is an equation. It is two things. Good sex is, half of it is safety and security. I trust this person. They're not going to give me STIs.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
You know, they're going to be fun. I like them. They smell good. They taste good. You know, they're going to be good to have sex with. But if you You just have that. Boring, you know, it's like that's the death knell for your sex life is when it's just safe. Boring, sounds so boring. So variety, novelty, erotic adventures, erotic play dates, learning new things together.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
When you have this seat, this foundation of trust and safety, and good communication. I can say anything I want to you, and you're going to love me, and you're going to appreciate that I'm telling you what I need all the time. When you have that, and then you add all the novelty. Ooh, did you hear about that heated sex toy or that one that blows up in your vagina, inflates? What's that like?
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Or, oh, let's find your pee spot, or let's try this penis ring, or whatever it might be. Once you start doing those things, then not only that, but you have something to look forward to. You're like, okay. So one of the things that I like to offer people is understanding what's on your sex life bucket list.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
So what I did was I took 48 of my best sexy ideas and I made a sex life bucket list with all 48 of them. And then it's basically this little printout here. I'll just give you one.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Yeah.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Well, this is for you. So what's interesting about the sex life bucket list is that I give you a video and I give you a printout. And if you both do the printout and you watch the video and you go through and I tell you what all 48 ideas are, and then when you do that, You go, okay, well, these are my A's. I definitely want to do a lingerie photo shoot with you.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
My B's are, I mean, I'd find your P spot with you and I'm happy to do it, but it wouldn't be like on my A list. And you're a prostate. You're a P spot.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Yeah, up your bum.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
And C's are, it's not for me right now. Never say never, because as you mature, if you think about your sexual development like your personal development, it's just one more thing you're learning, you get better and better and you increment your skills. And so what you used to look at it and go, why would anybody want to be spanked? Now you're like, oh my God, I want to be spanked.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
Do you need to let me release and calm down and get some things off my chest? Do you just need to provide that holding? Or am I a lioness? Do I want you to ravish me? Do I want to be pounced on? Do I want you to carry me to the bedroom and throw me down on the bed and rip my clothes off and tell me how gorgeous I am and eat me up? We want those things in that range all the time.
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
But what couples forget is to start with holding and being held. Because when we do that, we generate oxytocin. And the oxytocin is kind of like the antidote To all the cortisol we're pumping out constantly with the kids and the school and the stress and the job and the politics and the, you know, all this crazy stuff. We need to be held and to hold.